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at last some concrete information!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#3)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:26:47 AM PST
thank you for this list of advices!!!

i shall surrender myself to the police right away

r0lf (none / 0) (#4398)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:04:20 AM PST
dat`s c00l :>

i am guilty (none / 0) (#6095)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 02:12:28 PM PST
how could i have been so blind...i have been putting firewall after firewall on my system. when along along i have tryyng to keep myself out... yes now that i have read your article i realize that i am a hacker...I have reviewed my computer and discovered filthy programs running amuck everywhere...Flash. MP3's. DOS. BIOS. and the holy grail of hacking, yes its true I HAVE LINUX, i am so sorry and at this moment the police are on their way to put me away...THANK YOU for opening my unworthy eyes

Linux based on what? (none / 0) (#35)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 03:48:08 PM PST
It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government.

In the late 1970's Microsoft licensed UNIX source code from AT&T which at the time was not licensing the name UNIX. Therefore Microsoft created the name Xenix. Microsoft did not sell Xenix to end-users but instead licensed the software to software OEMs such as Intel, Tandy, Altos and SCO who then provided a finished version of their own Xenix to the end-users or other customers. SCO introduced its first version of Xenix named SCO Xenix System V for the Intel 8086 and 8088 in 1983. Today SCO Xenix is one of the more commonly used and found versions of Xenix.

Linux was based on Minix. A UnixLite OS designed to run on PCs. However, it was really only a teaching tool. Andrew Tanenbaum repeatedly refused to add the new (legitimate) features the users and even developers asked for. Linus Torvalds set out simply to add functionality to his own version of Minix (the copyright allows use to do so for your own personal use, but you cannot sell or distibute it).

Over time, in adding functionality to Minix, Linus Torvalds found that he had created an entirely new kernel. I was very similar to Minix but used none of the Minix source code. Torvalds had originally called it freax, for "`free' + `freak' + the obligatory `-x'. The operator of the FTP server where Linus' new kernel made its debut didn't like the name and simply called it Linux (Linus + Unix). People seemed to like the name so it stuck.

Bwahaha (none / 0) (#1001)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:14:39 PM PST
The article was very funny, but the comments are the best. Honestly I almost wet my pants with all the 'l33t sl4shd0ttaz' coming to 'the rescue'.

Honestly, where is peoples sense of humour these days!

Wit, folks. Remember you are just as dumb as our imaginary 'caring parent' if you leaped in with your critical posts.

Beautiful writing, the links were brilliant, and thanks, you dumb slashdotters for confirming your complete lack of sense, understanding, humour and brains.

Hook, Line and Sinker.

oh my goodness (none / 0) (#2418)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 05:21:54 PM PST
This is serious? You mean this isn't a prank site or something? Hahahahha!!

You sir are an idiot. (0.50 / 2) (#38)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 03:51:19 PM PST
If you even knew a single thing you were talking about then you would realize how completely and uttlerly false this article is.

For all parents reading this, don't believe it.

Its all from an opinionated person who doesn't even know that AMD is a American Company.

Ignorance is bliss, but horror to those informed.

Idiot... that's an understatement (none / 0) (#514)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:08:41 PM PST
the man is a frickin dumb ass who obviously have no idea what the hell he is talking about.

undersatement indeed... (none / 0) (#6085)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 01:25:43 PM PST
you guys are all idiots for believing, even for a second, that this article is serious. It's intended to offend morons like you and laugh at your silly, insulted, posts.

are you insane? (0.50 / 2) (#41)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 03:57:41 PM PST
since when was every bean head that listened to techno music and played with glowsticks a hacker? I hope you all realize how misinformed you are and might actually take time to research your assumptions before crucifying your child for the good of the moral majority. People like you make me sick.

Yeah I have a hard time believing this is real... (none / 0) (#6024)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 01:32:37 AM PST
I truely thought ignorance to this degree only existed in bad comedy movies. This is just sad.

Glow sticks, pacifiers, and bright clothing are stereotypical apparel for Candy Ravers, not hackers. Most hackers don't take enough time to dress fashionably.

You know, I thought i'd seen it all... (0.00 / 1) (#43)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 04:05:02 PM PST
You know, all I really need to look at is the very first phrase:

"As an enlightened, modern parent..."

I mean really, I haven't had this much of a laugh in ages. And that's not even counting the rest of the article.

I am VERY curious about three things:

1: What's your source material for showing that Linus Torvalds was a Soviet Hacker, that Mandrake is a 'hacking program', and that Snow Crash is a 'manual'? Furthermore, I'd like to see where you got the hilarious notion that AMD isn't a legitimate company. You cannot MAKE PROCESSORS in third world sweatshops when the premium for quality is beyond levels of microns.

2: What EXACTLY did you accuse your son of doing, and what EXACTLY are your definitions of 'hacking'?

3: Have you ever considered the notion that your son's 'argumentative and surly behavior' are the products of your utterly amusing ignorance? But then, I guess your 'computer hacker' son doesn't find it all that funny.

... "As an enlightened, modern parent..."


You don't get out much, do you? (-) (5.00 / 1) (#54)
by tkatchev on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 04:35:33 PM PST

Peace and much love...

what the hell is the world coming to? (none / 0) (#1860)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 07:49:58 AM PST
I haven't had time to read all the posts, but with regards to the main article...

....I just can't work out if this is supposed to be a joke!

I was inclined to laugh when I started reading, but then I thought 'what if this guy is for real, I can't believe there are still such narrow minded and fuck-witted idiots walking the Earth!'

I am not a hacker, in fact I only know the basics required to use a computer at work, but even I know that everything thin moron has said is complete crap.

Just where did he gain this extensive knowledge of hacking in those few days?

More to the point, if this a genuine article, I feel really sorry for his kids!

I think I may be hacker (0.00 / 1) (#58)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 04:47:54 PM PST
Help me. I listen to burnt CD's with stolen MP3s I got from KaZaA. And I use Tribes2 as a meeting place to "chat" with my hacker gang. @home IS my ISP so maybe I should change it to the better and faster AOL. I dont know any more. I think I will kill myself if my parents found out. Pleas. help me. I dont have many friends in the real world becaus they dont like the fact I told them I would hack the schools computers to change their notes. but. they are goodie goodies. and dont want me too.

Plz. help me.

Oh my. (none / 0) (#60)
by Huggles on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 04:51:40 PM PST
Be careful of that last anonymous poster folks. I think he may be one of the many hackers I know from Tribes 2 virtual reality. If you reply to any of his messages, he will be able to hack your computer using a virus he developed. Trust me, as someone who has admitted to herself that she has a problem.

LMAO (none / 0) (#742)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:12:28 PM PST
OMFG ROFL!!!!!!!!!!

Umm, didn't you reply (none / 0) (#2305)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 08:49:03 AM PST
If you reply to his messages and you can get a virus from them, then didn't you just get a virus? If you arn't a hacker then you don't have the skillz to remove the virus. Either you are an idioit or a hacker. *Snicker*


Some consolation (none / 0) (#2881)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:05:28 PM PST
Dont worry too much my friend...apparentlly, we're all hackers...each one of us...*pats the other on the back* we'll overcome it...if only the good moral filled parents can save us in time, before we're all lost...

Wow... (0.00 / 1) (#63)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 04:59:37 PM PST
I have read several of these poorly informed articles where parents "do their research" and find that their kids are naughty and "hacking" but this by far is the most ignorant one I have seen. I was only able to read the intro and some of the headlines before I couldn't cease these days seem to have too much time and not enough to do with it. Either take that time and do more research before you ban your son from his computer (which could possibly pay for your retirement buddy..) or just leave him alone and let him make his mistakes and realize his "evil ways" (hah..) on his own. Besides the fact of which that I would place good money that all the kid was do was either NOTHING or barely anything for just knowledge's sake and maybe when he "lied about it for hours" it was simply because he believe he was correct. If someone finds some more horribly researched articles by some "parents" with nothing better to do..please..drop me a link to it or e-mail me to respond since I do feel I will never be checking back to this site again (1st and last time right here) after they allowed such a poor article.

Over and Out,
One of those bad teen "hackers" (no..h4x0rz..i si l33t) that scare you big old parent guys with your really good research and detective abilities.

This must be ignorance at it's best (0.00 / 1) (#67)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:07:43 PM PST
After reading that article, I couldn't help but laugh... I've seen alot of ignorance in my life, but this one ranks among the top.

While we are on the topic of "protecting" your family, you should cancel all TV services, because "underground" or "negative" influences could come from there. Next, get rid of your mailbox. There is always the possibility that pornographic material could be mailed to you. You wouldn't want anyone to be exposed to that, would you? Third, better cancel your telephone service, because telemarketers could end up giving your children experience to things that you may not want them to experience at the present stage of their lives. Next, cover all electrical outlets in your house. You never know, your children might not be smart enough to not stick a paperclip in the outlets (or maybe you should just remove all small metal objects from your house)? Don't forget to keep the garage door opener (if you have one) out of their reach! They might decide that it is fun to open and close it while they stand underneath it!

This is a good approximation of the intelligence of the person who wrote that article up above.. happy flaming!

reply (0.00 / 1) (#68)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:08:17 PM PST

I think #9 got me the most.. Made my stomach rumble.... If you are trying to stereotype, you have correctly labeled a candy raver, not a hacker.. Dont always believe the film industry.

Parents dont believe any of this idiocracy. In my opinion, it was "hacker" who wrote this, just to make people laugh at it. I havent laughed so hard in a very long time.

You do realize that this world wouldnt operate without Linux right? You do realize that the whole internet, the servers/routers etc.. are using linux as its main operating system. What about Thats linux. Do some research.. Linux allows the user to do anything imaginable unlike ms, yes it may be used for hacking, but so can windows. Especially read up on XP, "the hackers tool for tomorrow"

You are horrible at categorizing, and the funny thing is, you didnt even mention if your 12-16 year old wants a laptop.. thats a sign.

Anyways... good humor, but horribly rough facts.

Google is evil! (none / 0) (#354)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:20:14 AM PST
You do realize that the whole internet, the servers/routers etc.. are using linux as its main operating system. What about Thats linux.

But... but... but... Google is that search engine that hackers use to search for the anarchist's cookbook! And the Internet is that thing that hackers use to connect to other computers and break their hard drives and steel all their files!!! Ban the Internet!

I hate ignorance. I'm pretty sure the whole article was an attempt at trolling this poor website.

If your mood is down... (none / 0) (#1030)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 02:40:07 PM PST
I didn't read the entire page yet... it's becoming HUGE! :)

But man... this shit is _funny_!

This page will definately go in my bookmark folder - it's simply hillarious!

Thank you all ;)

Hacking (0.00 / 1) (#73)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:16:41 PM PST
Excuse me. This is the most hilarious article i ever read. You guys have to be joking. Who ever believes this must be living in a delusional world. Please do the world a favor and end your life now if you believe this junk.


um...please get educated. (0.50 / 2) (#75)
by rizzah00 on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:18:07 PM PST
Okay, 1) you shouldnt be sitting in front of a computer 2) go get educated here

You Are A Nut !!! (0.00 / 1) (#78)
by d0lemite on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:20:00 PM PST
I am very glad that someone posted the link to the article "Is Your Son A Hacker?". Now I know where to come if I want a good laugh. None of the things you are talking about make sense. For example, "Lunix" is actually Linux and can be found here You also said that AMD chips are not sold in stores which is very untrue since I bought my AMD chip at a local computer store and that they are athird-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips is so full of it. All I am trying to say is that you should dig up the facts instead of getting the info in LA LA land before you post this for millions or so people to read and get the wrong idea.

This can't be for real (0.00 / 1) (#82)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:31:03 PM PST
Please tell me you're not this dumb sir. Your son uses comet cursor to hack people, he plays quake so he can learn to shoot people? Please, just tell me you're not that dumb.

AMEN (none / 0) (#3538)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:21:28 PM PST
some nice shit down quake to sh00t half life or counter strike..atleast they use fuckin real wepons...hahaha AMD is the second largest CPU manufacturer in the world and the best there is out there...please tell me parents aint that dumb...cause I'll never be a parent then...too 1337 f0r j00 <-- l33t |-|3><0r watch out for that one LMFAO

Where can you even start.. (none / 0) (#87)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:38:14 PM PST
Most bases have been covered by everyone else thus far. The only base I see left, is the fact that your ignorance is bieng interlaced into your children. You believe in god, you believe in the bible. Yadda, yadda ya. I'm sick of hearing about fucking church finantics torturing thier children "in thier best interest". If you were looking out for your childrens best interest, you would allow them to experience the world, and trust thier judegement. Think about when your oldest child is old enough to move out on his own, and hasn't ever had any experience in real life because you've had him strapped down all of his life. Its nice to worry about thier well bieng, but if you're that scared of this world, why the FUCK did you bring them into it?

I would have a ton more to say, but frankly you're just not worth the effort. You're a pitifully ignorant individual who should seek immediate help. And you call yourself a "model parent" ? Please, I'm sure your kids would be more happy in a psych-ward.

Incorrect Link in the Above Article (none / 0) (#89)
by egg troll on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:38:55 PM PST
I do not mean to find fault with the article. It was extremely informative and the writer did almost as good a job as I might have done. Unfortunately in section 5, the link for "breaking the law" is the incorrect one. Please visit either of these two for a better description of breaking the law.

Posting for the love of the baby Jesus....

informative? (none / 0) (#181)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:27:02 PM PST
That article was sooo filled with misinformation it is ludicrous. I bet none of you uneducated individuals work in the IT field. You have just proven your ignorance to the world. I could go on but my mother taught me that its not fair to have a battle of wits with unarmed opponents.

lighten up (none / 0) (#3606)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:34:38 PM PST
lighten up, moron. the article is a joke, and the response you just attacked was a joke. look at the links, it's references to Judas Preist for fuck's sake! The whole thing is comedy! Open your heads up with shovels and clean out the shit people, this is COMEDY. Ship of fools here... ship of fools...

Clarification... (none / 0) (#4485)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 09:15:23 PM PST
Psst... You may want to tell these people IT is an abbreviation for the Information Technology field. You may confuse them with abbreviations that they will assume are hacker terminology or sign of satan himself.

bzzzzzzz (none / 0) (#6404)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 15th, 2002 at 05:13:36 AM PST
pleeezeeee donnut conf-use th00z p00r pplz more even!
rather is IT a acronym then a abbrev.
an h4xx3r is known to misuse acronyms, such ass
"GNU is Never Useful", op-posed too micros~1

You've got it all wrong (none / 0) (#91)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:39:18 PM PST
1. Changeing ISP's Most Kids and informed adults want faster connection @home provides broadband which is faster access - That's All

2. The Software you didn't reconise "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". These Are Comet Cusor - Is a cusor modification tool - Not hacking, Bonzai Buddy Is a Desktop Freind, and Flash is a Web authoring/presentation tool None of these have to do with hacking.

3. Asking for new hardware is common place. He probably just wants better graphics for games.

4. None of thoes Books are hacking manuals. Trust Me

5. He could be playing games. Or surfing the Web i pesonally spend about 16 -20 hours a day in front of a computer without breaking any laws

6. QUAKE - It's a Game that can be played On-line completely usless -Infact AIM/ICQ is more of a hacking meeting place.

7. It's called being a teenager

8. It's Linux Not "Lunix"
8.1 It's based on a commersial O/S used by MOST LARGE CORPERATIONS call "UNIX"
8.2 Linux is easy to remove off HD partitions with out taking the machine back to the vendors
8.3 It's A commercial O/S and using it could give him a Boost in the future job market
8.4 Lilo - It's a bootloader and can be by passed easily using a boot disk you don't need LILO to boot linux

9. That's Techno Rave that's more to do with drugs than hacking.

10. The reason that your son could be struggling could be any number of reasons A. Dyslexia| B. Not doing home work| C. Being Dim
Any of these explain it better that radition because by your standards most hackers would be idiots. They are quite the opposite and Exetreemly clever and intelligent many of them being extreemly good at maths, cryptograpy.



Oh Dear!!!! (none / 0) (#6287)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 03:43:54 AM PST
/me bangs head on table numerous times!!!

/me explains the concept of a joke to Thick Twat!!

A most laughable and uninformed article. (0.00 / 1) (#94)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:42:04 PM PST
Your article was plainly written without a drop of research. I was startled and disappointed to see the nonsense you preach in it.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
AOL is an inferior Internet service provider. Period. There are legitimate reasons to switch away from a low-quality provider such as AOL; higher speeds and better technical support come to mind first.

If your son/daughter is a "hacker," they will have no problem getting around AOL's filters.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
Do you even know what Comet Cursor, Bonzi Buddy or Flash ARE? I don't think you do!

You seem to think anyone who steals software is a "hacker." They are not. They are thieves, plain and simple.

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
All I can do is shake my head at this.

A true hacker requires nothing more than a text interface to perform his/her craft, not faster video cards or processors.

Also, anyone who asks for a Matrox video card is either a business user, into video editing or is completely uninformed.

"AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips." OK, you're a fucking IDIOT. AMD makes the best x86 chips out there. They do not make "knock-offs."

Yes, their fabs (fabrication facilities) are located world-wide, and so are Intel's, and so are Via's. They do NOT use child labour; highly-trained technicians and engineers are the only ones doing the manual labour in AMD's operations.

Do some research, dumbass.

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
Oh boy. This one made me laugh.

Almost all of the books you listed have NOTHING TO DO WITH LEARNING TO "HACK." "Cyptonomicon" is a genuinely fascinating look at data encryption, and blends fact with a fictitious story. "Programming with PERL?" PERL is a powerful data extraction language used on machines worldwide. It is incredibly powerful for a wide range of data manipulation tasks. I would be PROUD of my child trying to master this language!

The ignorance you display here is astounding, and the fact that you suggest parents lobby to have such books removed from shelves is the most outrageous and idiotic thing I have read in your article yet.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

I spend upwards of 8 hours on my computer each day; much of this time involves my school studies, and much of it is spent communicating with my peers online and learning.

Suggesting your child is attempting to execute a Denial of Service (DOS) attack because they're spending too much time on the computer is the most illogical leap of reason I HAVE EVER HEARD. You should be ASHAMED. That's like assuming your child is planning to use his new iceskates to slit the throat of a 7-11 clerk. Get a clue!

6. Does your son use Quake?
"Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms." Wrong again, you moron! Quake is a GAME. Granted, Quake is a violent game, and I do not believe it is suitable for young children... but it is far from a "training ground" for hackers!

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
One word: TEENAGERS.

(And of course he's going to be surly and argumentative in his behaviour if you try and approach him with the bullshit in this article! If you're going to approach him, at least be properly informed first!)

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
It's spelled "Linux," you stupid fucking dolt.

Your total lack of research surfaces here (again). LINUX was invented by a FINNISH (not Soviet) man named LINUS TRAVOLDS (not Linyos Torovoltos) in 1991.

"Lunix" is meant for older 8-bit processors, not the machines we use today. If you had VISITED THE LINK YOU MADE, you would KNOW THIS!

Linux is also stable, free, and extremely powerful to those who know how to use it properly. It can save you time and money, and is arguably one of the best operating systems out there. If your son or daughter was able to even INSTALL it successfully, they are capable of greater things. You should encourage this exploration, not hide away in fear!

"These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers." Uhh... what programs? Linux? Linux is an operating system, dumbass.

"They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program." That's INSANELY FUCKING MORONIC. You can't connect to a stereo to steal music! You don't even know what an MP3 is, do you?


MPEG Layer 3 (MP3) files are a way of storing music on a computer without taking up too much hard disk space. "MP3" is not a program... it is the set of rules and standards that define the creation and playback of MP3s.

Have you ever even used a computer?

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
This made me laugh out loud (again). You're describing "ravers," the kids who like to go listen to someone spin electronica records in warehouses all night long. The pacifiers are used to combat the clenching mouth that taking ecstasy causes.

For crying out loud, I don't go to raves and I know this! RESEARCH IS YOUR FRIEND. Try it sometime!

10. Is your son struggling academically?
Oh, yeah... so obviously when your kid is pulling in bad grades, he's part of a hacking group.


If your child is being challenged and engaged by his academics, he will put effort into it. He doesn't need your paranoia and misguided rantings... especially based on this non-article.

Electromagnetic radiation from monitors will not cause meningitis any more than watching TV, talking on your cell phone or listening to your hi-fi stereo will.

Yes, spending too much time on the computer could lead to an unhealthy lifestyle... but understand that this does not make computers evil or unhealthy. They might be the most powerful tool you have access to, and anyone who understands how to use them to their fullest extent will do very well for themselves in a computing career.

All things in moderation.


As someone who is training to make his living in technology, and someone who has had computers around all his life, I am disgusted and appalled by the quality of this article. It is, quite literally, a work of fiction.

Next time you write an article, you need to read up on your subject first so you don't:
1) misinform parents
2) make a total ass out of yourself

That being said, I would be more than happy to help you out with future articles.
Student of Network Engineering
Proud to be [H]

Linux (none / 0) (#3977)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 14th, 2001 at 04:24:00 PM PST
Heh, and the creator of Linux was not TRAVOLDS, it's TORVALDS ;)

nice! (none / 0) (#4598)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 08:25:04 PM PST
Dude this is a really good responce to that idiotic arcticle. my granddad knows more about computers, and he still has one of those castiron talk into the base phones.

what a dumb@$$ (0.00 / 1) (#96)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:45:07 PM PST
geeze! that shows how much u know about computers:

Here are my favourite points of BS:

In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

buddy, its called REFORMAT

Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

u can't even spell linux

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers

where did u pick that one from

Programming with Perl

perl is a programmin language used by MANY SITES accross the internet, some familiar ones are microsoft (to a small extent), yahoo, google...

Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

Real hackers wouldn't install any of this stuff on, except flash, which would have nothing to do with any of this. comet cursor and bonzi are DESPISED by hackers...


its YOU that needs to learn more about your computers, and maybe you can ask your "hacker" son to teach you...

yeah! (none / 0) (#1344)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 5th, 2001 at 07:54:13 PM PST
ur right man. this guy is a f**kin idiot

HELL FUCKIN YEA - this post by (none / 0) (#1436)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 12:06:41 AM PST
hacker's hmm?
bonzi buddy and comet cursor, were most likely install by YOU YOURSELF mr gibbons.
they are gay
bonzi buddy is a stupid monkey that talks to you about your website
since they never seem to get upgrades
if you sun was anykind of hacker, you wouldnt have bonzi buddy installed - for he would remove it himself....
also bright clothes with a pacifier, hes most likely a raver that does extacy, get concerned in that not hacking MORON
if you are serious about this fucking post, then i hope you rot
and i do have jesus as my savior, doesnt mean i am a moron like you
your son wouldnt DOS other people
if i could look at you right now
we would either have a never ending discussion untill you learned, or i would just pop you in the face.

Bemusing man (none / 0) (#3559)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:03:13 PM PST
wot an entertaining article, and all the miffed replies, gee, arent we speshul!

and its funny, as soon as an article such as this appears, how everyone quickly replies to point out the writers "mistakes", some of us arent too bright are we now? :)

This is rediculous. (0.00 / 1) (#97)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:45:08 PM PST
uhm, this article is rediculous.
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
none of those have anything to do with hacking..
If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.
30 Mins? hahaha ..
6. Does your son use Quake?
Quake is a GAME .. you stupid-head.
If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors.
What does dress have anything to do with .. well, anything.

Whoever wrote this article should be fired.

Did you really thinK? (none / 0) (#2386)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 03:28:37 PM PST
. . . that the author(s) do not know what C*met Curs*r is, what Qu*ke is, where AMD lives?
Do you ever think?  (Actually, you should be fired . . . with a rocket launcher 'tween yo' peepers.

Speaking of games . . . if we were playing Who can catch the most morons, Robert Reginald Rodriguez (a.k.a. T. Reginald Gibbons) would definitely take first place.
A Toast! To the victors.
( - Killing Joke - )

i r leat liek jeff k (none / 0) (#100)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:48:25 PM PST

Whomever wrote this article needs to get a serious life outside the house. 'Hacking' is completely different as the author portrays it. I say everyone DOS (Denial of Service) attacks this website.

Hell, I bet the servers FOR this website use Linux. NOT LUNIX.

Thank you, everyone is now a few IQ points lower from reading your article.

-Epi [H]ard|Forum

blargh (none / 0) (#2888)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:47:35 PM PST
Hook, line, skinker


Re: i r leat liek jeff k (none / 0) (#3298)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:38:07 PM PST
"Thank you, everyone is now a few IQ points lower from reading your article."

judging from your post, you are about to hit rock-bottom anyway.

Good Answer! (none / 0) (#4765)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 09:41:27 AM PST
I couldn't have said it better. I wasn't going to even acknowledge that I saw this site, but someone sent it to me and I had some idle time on my hands so I decided to waste it here. I saw your comment and really enjoyed it!

get a clue dumbass (0.00 / 1) (#104)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:54:30 PM PST
you should be put in jail loser
i like your comments about amd
how lovely, if anyone uses or wants to use their processor they must be hackers, or when your kids do bad in school they are in hacking groups
what if they dont have a computer? should we all still be concerned? you're the reason aol will never die. Aols children protection is a joke in itself. I recently was shown a link that had a "100%girls" link in the kids only online menu for "safe" websites. In case you're wondering, that's a PORN site. I guess your son must have had his "hacking group" put that there so he could access it. He's the way it really is, if your son uses aol, he's a loser just like his dad. There are NO "hackers" or "smart people" on AOL. PERIOD. Stay on aol so you and the rest of the idiots in america can be held in a different area that the rest of us smart people who have a clue.

My name is bringer and my email address is <-- not homo aol.
email me with any comments you overcontroling idiot.

This sort of article is unacceptable (5.00 / 1) (#105)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:54:37 PM PST
First of all I would like to make an apology to your kids on the behalf of the human race that they have such poor parents. This sort of ultra-conservative self-serving b*llshit would make me vomit if I wasn't laughing so hard.

I had my mom, a technological neophyte read these article. She knows little about computers, but even she found some of your points, especially those about Quake, a faster ISP and AMD highly comical.

At first I thought that this article was a joke, but after reading the comments below, I'm not so sure, and I'm frankly a bit frightened at the blind hostility to technology that many of you seem to exhibit.

In fact, many define hacker as a person who merely looks into software code to see how it works with no malicious intent. All they have is a desire to figure out how stuff works and in some cases, improve it.

Perhaps the informative posts here have informed the confused that this article has only comedic value and is frighteningly inaccurate. If not, I fear for our future.

Get a clue before some real 1337 ha><0rs fu><0r yuo up.

i hope this article was a joke. (none / 0) (#6705)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 08:47:41 PM PST
i have nothing more to say

this is a dumb article (none / 0) (#6719)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 20th, 2002 at 04:05:49 PM PST
spending more than 30 minutes a day online?????
Half the boys that have comps in America spend more than 30 minutes a day online duhhhhhhh.
wearing baggy pants a spiky here yeah sure you just cant accept that thats way kids dress these days dress welcome to the 21st century over half the kids at schools will dress like that. As for Quake oh my god its a violent game it will make kids go on killing rampages 99.9 percent of the kids that play it wont go on killing rampages plus there are other games just like quake but you all have to make a big deal about quake(i still havnt figured out why) and plus kids cant buy quake unless they have and ID saying there at least 17 so if the parents buy the kids them its there own fault and changing ISP from AOL im sorry but AOL just plain sucks and lots of kids that ARNT hackers might want to change from AOhell before i got kicked 3 times in a row so kids wanting to change from AOL prolly isnt a sign of them hacking and thats all i have to say.

Yea A Giant Joke (none / 0) (#7018)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 8th, 2002 at 08:04:56 PM PST
This article is a total load of bull. The sterotype that he is creating about hackers is totally wrong. I am NOT a hacker, yet i fit into about 6-7 of the questions that are listed.

There are many reasons why someone would anwser yes to those question and most anwsers are not because thay are hackers. These are a few examples

1. Changing ISP
going for better service
going for faster connection
new type of connection avaliable

the list goes on and on for every question he has listed.

Second , linux fan might just like linux and posiablly not care for an ms os.
I would much rater have linux than win ME.

i know most peple have it abandoned this (none / 0) (#7897)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Sep 8th, 2002 at 11:03:46 AM PST
i think its horrible that anyone would post an article, even in jest. the signs in the article sugest it to be of comic nature e.g. the links etc. i think i have almost crossed the line into being a hacker. mind you i dont do anything maleiciously. i have never harmed another system or tried to do so. i would fall under my schools definitions of a hacker. "A Person who wants to learn everything about a system and push it to the highes possible level of performance" this definithon sickens me.

i know most peple have it abandoned this (none / 0) (#7898)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Sep 8th, 2002 at 11:08:34 AM PST
i think its horrible that anyone would post an article, even in jest. the signs in the article sugest it to be of comic nature e.g. the links etc. i think i have almost crossed the line into being a hacker. mind you i dont do anything maleiciously. i have never harmed another system or tried to do so. i would fall under my schools definitions of a hacker. "A Person who wants to learn everything about a system and push it to the highes possible level of performance" this definithon sickens me.

this sort of article is unacceptable (none / 0) (#6756)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 21st, 2002 at 07:45:29 PM PST
me thinks your into a little hacking yourself. Your temper and potty mouth says it all and trust me your temper tantrum at reading this and of course your reply will again show me your guilty. Shame on you all the guy was saying is protect your kids but me thinks your not old enough to know that[emotionally/phsycally].

ooo, youre funny (none / 0) (#6766)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 21st, 2002 at 11:47:00 PM PST
wait, no your not. you just an ignorant person.

Don't be an idiot!!!!!! (none / 0) (#6794)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 22nd, 2002 at 11:47:00 AM PST
Don't be an idiot. And by the way, who the hell says "me thinks" not once but twice in the same paragraph.

It's obvious that "parents" (or whoever you claim to be) don't have a clue about the world of computers, for example:

"Has your child asked for new hardware?" In case you twits haven't noticed, you need hardware upgrades every 18 months to 2 years if you want your computer to be compatible with new software.

And one more thing the "Does your son use Quake?" question truly shows your ignorance. Millions of people play Quake not just hackers, and when people chat on the forums we don't "discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms"

These remarks show your own ignorance and ineptitude to raze your children in an ever changing world that your will simply never understand.

Train in firearms? (none / 0) (#6811)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 22nd, 2002 at 04:17:21 PM PST
With regard to the Quake teaching kids to use various firearms:

I can imagine if the poor 12 year old ever did get their hands on a machine gun. "But, where's the 'Ctrl' key?" :-)

Quake training (none / 0) (#6911)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jan 25th, 2002 at 10:34:15 AM PST
I'd like to see a 12 year old get his hands on a BFG. I might have to take him over my knee.

Teaching virtual from real (none / 0) (#7020)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 8th, 2002 at 08:11:48 PM PST
Quake training, big deal

If u teach the child that there is a diffrence from virtual and real violence than there is no problem. I know the diffrence between half life and firing an m16 at someone.

The author of this artile "IS your child a hacker has a few major screws left and has lost his screwdriver"

Someone help him find it quick b4 he writes something like this again :(

you don't know the real world (none / 0) (#7287)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 02:02:44 AM PST
I have read articles about how games help you train to kill people, that is complete bullshit. I know first hand the difference. Anyone played paintball or airsoft??? Plus, if you teach your kids correctly, they won't have a problem. I guess all the naive "parents" complaining about computers here DON'T KNOW HOW TO TEACH THEIR KIDS RIGHT FROM WRONG!

*clap clap clap* (none / 0) (#7588)
by InvaderTIM on Mon Jun 17th, 2002 at 04:34:44 PM PST
You are correct sir

NEW OS, Hardware (none / 0) (#7021)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 8th, 2002 at 08:19:04 PM PST
I don't know about every1 else but I like to get the new hardware and the new Software when I can.

You can go out and get a state of the art pc and in 2 years it will useless.

OK perfect example

I got a P3 @ 550MHz with win 98se about 3 years ago. Now this pile of junk is about 1/4 as fast as what is out there now.

Do you really want your child going through high school and college with a 486 or a p1 while the rest of the world is runing p4's and Athlons at 2Ghz + Yea right, you want them to fail miserably

Schools and work today require the technology that is at a max of about 2-3 years old. If you go past that most of the software out on the market won't run on your PC.

True (none / 0) (#7116)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Mar 4th, 2002 at 04:24:51 PM PST
oh and that Sh*t about AMD not being sold is stores...when I was looking for a new laptop one of the HPs I was looking at in a store had AMD in can buy AMD anywhere because they are cheaper. I also thought they were american not asian and they are not copies....Intel and AMD were in a race to get to 1GHz first yet they both got there around the same time. AMD is just another good company out there. With computers you need to upgrade at least every two years! With laptops you can go maybe another year or two since they cost a lot and are not used as much as desktops. For a desktop, if you do not get top of the line, you will have to upgrade your computer a ton and then still need a new computer in a few years. Whoever wrote this page is very dumb and knows nothing about computers and the internet. That sh*t about Telnet brother uses Telnet just to read his email!!!! All the software labeled as hacker software is just free download stuff which no one even wants to start commet cursor (I keep having to uninstall it since it installs itself. All it does it changes the cursor on your computer to what the website uses...yet it only lasts while you are on that page.). For those "Hacker Books", the Perl one is called programming not hacking. My other brother uses Perl to make CGI pages while I use VBscipt to make ASP pages. I think the person who made this site needs to grow a brain and get a life...while giving his children back their lives cause it seems this dad has f*cked them up badly by just being their dad.

What the hell is wrong with you!?! (none / 0) (#6852)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 23rd, 2002 at 09:43:46 AM PST

do some research (none / 0) (#7534)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri May 31st, 2002 at 04:09:11 PM PST
u sure knows nothing about hackers, if u knew u would know that there r easier ways to talk other than playin quake, ya its a game, not a communit... and please, askin for new hardware doesn't make a hacker, it only shows u that your children knows more about pc than u do and he wants a comp that is faster, not for hackin, but because he doesnt like to wait days for something he is doing now... u say someone is guilty just because he replys your msg?? so everyone that have different oppinion than you is a hacker?? Oh that makes you the best person to talk about something in the world "oh, u dont agree with me?? that shows me you are guilty about that!"

Just One Word (none / 0) (#6783)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 22nd, 2002 at 06:37:00 AM PST
Proooooooooooot !


Just One Word (none / 0) (#6784)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 22nd, 2002 at 06:37:48 AM PST
Proooooooooooot !


actually i think it is entirely acceptable. (none / 0) (#6924)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 26th, 2002 at 06:40:27 AM PST
The more you read it the more you can see it's plainly a very clever spoof.

Articles like this make people think - as you can see by the many replies to this particular article.

Nice work imo.

What??? (none / 0) (#7019)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 8th, 2002 at 08:06:13 PM PST
Why would u find this article acceptiable?

This Guy Is Fucking Nutz (none / 0) (#6949)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 27th, 2002 at 10:15:08 PM PST
Ive been known to of dabbled in DDos and hacking for many yrs along with many others I know.. Not 1 of us went throught any changes this quack says.

To all ignore this peice of sahit tryin to talk out his ass =)

Who the hell wrote this?! (none / 0) (#7052)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 10:07:38 AM PST
OK first off I'd like to thank the author of this site for such a good laugh, I've not laughed so hard for a long time.

Firstly, I think that you are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too over protective, I'm surprised your kids didn't leave home, I would if my parent's were like that with me. I had great pleasure reading about AMD, once again I found it hilarious and so did my brother. How do you get kids educated enough to make a processor in a "Sweatshop" that isn't static free?. People like you never fail to fill me with amaizment at how your kids can grow up like that, It's no wonder your eldest stayed in if you treat him as you did, going to parties to make sure there was no alcohol. Allowing them to drink below the legal age raises awareness to alcohol abuse as I know, my parents did it with me. Please feel free to write another web page like this, it will provide me with much entertainment when I'm bored.

Maybe try thinking about what you write next time you publish something like this.
Feel free to E-mail me to discuss this further, Might provide me with some more laughter!

Oh and by the way, I wanted my dad to get a faster computer and the fastest internet commercially available in the UK. I got them, Answer me this, Am I now a Hacker?

Get a life please, for your kids sake!

"pacifier" "glowstick" (none / 0) (#7054)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Feb 15th, 2002 at 03:42:16 PM PST
is this the description of a RAVER?

exactly what i thought ;o) (none / 0) (#7152)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 10th, 2002 at 08:24:56 PM PST
i read that, and was dumbfounded by the description of myself, a kandy raver... hmm i must be a i33t0 hax0r now.. go me ;o)

is that l33t? (none / 0) (#7060)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 06:17:28 PM PST
was that l33t at the end of your message? <001 !

marxc2001: l33t is (none / 0) (#7290)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 01:07:23 PM PST
a shortened form of 'ELITE'

Take the 'leet' part, replace the e's with 3's (they are similar) and you get 'l33t'.

HAHA LMAO!!! (none / 0) (#7061)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 17th, 2002 at 09:09:04 PM PST
QUOTE: If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.


Let me guess...You're an Amish?!?!?! (none / 0) (#7078)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Feb 21st, 2002 at 08:50:10 AM PST
My friend let me tell you something the 1994 i gave my son a Pc .. he already had poor grades in sports so he spent most of his time in the pc...he became a hacker caught know what happened then???Due to this adventure of his a great university and a great computer company in japan ofered to pay him is studies son became a math genious (is grades were amazing) my soon is now 21 years old finished university and M.I.T.
Let me teel you something .You are killing your sonn's Future. he first was a hacker he programms Firewalls that stop people such as ''the cult of the dead cow''.
And by the way computer radiation does not kill, if you are concerned with that be less of a weasel and spend more money in protections such as Monitors with a plasma Screan that do not put out radiations.
And let me guess ...from the way things are going you tell your daughters that children come from a bird and your son will probably be a virgin till he spends is money in a hooker.
Good day sir Asshole parent!

*CLAPS* (none / 0) (#7896)
by Opticon on Sun Sep 8th, 2002 at 10:51:17 AM PST
Well said, i couldnt agree less

Ah.. you are wrong. (none / 0) (#7115)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Mar 4th, 2002 at 06:17:55 AM PST
[QUOTE]Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".[QUOTE]

1. Comet Cursor is NOT a hacker software. It is used to change the cursor on your computer

2. Bonzi Buddy is a little ANNOYING purple monkey that talks & tells jokes and is NOT a hacker software.

3. Flash. Well, what the heck?! thats used for websites!!!!

4. Quake, thats a game.

5. If your son asks for a better video card, more RAM, More space; maby he wants to play diffrent computer games better. So he wont LAG, or his Frames per second wont go down!

About the software ... (none / 0) (#7181)
by Vulcano on Sun Mar 17th, 2002 at 02:46:12 PM PST
Well you're kinda misinformed also ,, comet cursor, bonzi,gator and other sh*t programs are spy-ware, look it up.
Also well known spyware : real audio, yep ...

bonzi buddy? (none / 0) (#7426)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 06:14:59 PM PST
Bonzi Buddy is none other the SpyWare, if it is on your computer and you wish to remove it's dirty little bugs, go to and download Ad-Aware, an anti spyware program. you might be suprised about how much spyware is on your computer.

Definiton of Hacker (none / 0) (#7122)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Mar 5th, 2002 at 01:15:08 PM PST
This Article Is A Line Of Garbage, The Phrase Hacker Refers To People Beyond The Knowledge Of Others In Computer,At That The Line Of "HACKER" Could Be Directed At the Goverment(Cyber Terrorists Police) And If So Are They Crooks To? Because They Are Computer Geniouses With A Imagination And A Mind WithOut a Distorted Belief Other Than To Conquer (Cyber Terrorism).
Before The Name "HACKER" Should Be Placed Upon The Name Of A Child Either By Friend Or Foe It Is Earned Through His Or Her Knowledge, Not By Quake(Whom "Parents Over The Years Have Tried To Make People Thing Is A Sucicidal Delima")I Would Know This I Am A Robtics Engineer(Machine Language)/Programmer. And I have Been In College Since "14", If Anything "The Computer" Has Taught Me Everything I Know I'm Still Not A "HACKER",The Phrase Hacker Belongs Like I Said To The Goverment(Cyber Terrorist Police) And Or Programmers Of Large Companies. The Definition That I Deam Appropriate Would Be The Names "Cracker""Phreaker"Warrer""SoftWare Pirate".Along The Lines Of This We Come Across The Word "POSER",This Word Illustrates A Person That Has No Knowledge At All Of Computers Only To Go And Use Programms That "1337"Hackers Have Made.Also "Linux" Maybe What Most Think Is Hacker Ware.Unfortunatly (Big Corporations Use This Software. Well to Let You All Know It Is Religious People That Disgust Me And I Suggest Every Computer Person,Thats Is A (24/7 Computer Player) Purchase The Shirt "I Am Not Anti-Social I Just Don't Like Stupid People" A Great Defense To What Many Think Is a Psychological Problem.

-Thxs For Your time

(Story Of The Day)Did You Know That 89% Of Hackers Convicted Of Federal Crimes, End Up As Security Managment to Big Corporations And Or Your Goverment?,(Note) Creator Of Linuxs, Created The Program While In Federal Prison Under,This Was Brought To His Attention To Create It For Govermental Use.

I am a hacker (none / 0) (#7289)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 01:02:17 PM PST
1. Hacking (ETHICALLY) is set to earn me in region of 120000 (one hundred and twenty thousand!) pounds PER YEAR (around 10000 per month) if I hit it right.

2. We all get on fine.

£. Articles like this give us a BAD NAME. Only a few destroy systems.


right on (none / 0) (#7300)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 03:52:47 PM PST

Oh my god - what the....? (none / 0) (#7324)
by mnielsen273 on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 12:56:48 AM PST
I have very little to say, but can we please remove this article? This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever read in my life. Hackers use Flash and Bonzai buddy as tools of infiltration? Geez, when did that happen?

Please save the brains of the members of this forum and remove this article immediately.

I just have to say,, (none / 0) (#7485)
by trach on Mon May 27th, 2002 at 10:12:37 AM PST
I'm not going to get started, as there are enough people who have posted what I think already, but I have to say this guy is a complete tool! A tool of obliviosity and ignorance.

Oh, you do realise basically every infant is a hacker, they all have pacifiers. If your infant is in possession of a pacifier, encarcerate them immediantly before it is too late! Get in early.

I agree (none / 0) (#7500)
by gennixx1 on Tue May 28th, 2002 at 12:26:09 PM PST
I agree. I guess I am a computer hacker as well. So are half the people in America who want better quality computers.

Another thing anyone who thinks they have the model family in America has some deep rooted problems.

Hacker? You've got to be kidding me (none / 0) (#7717)
by DaBrain on Wed Jul 24th, 2002 at 08:41:41 PM PST
From your description of what makes a hacker, i'm SCARED to think how you even have kids...

Quake- used for GAMING
Faster IPS- used for GAMING
Better equipment for the computer- used for GAMING

Please, get a clue about technology before you call gamers hackers...

Ok you are by far the dumbest fucker on earth! (none / 0) (#7817)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Aug 24th, 2002 at 02:50:09 PM PST
Okay finally after laughing non-stop for 2 hours 32 minutes and 21 seconds I have time to post this.

I will list things you are 110% wrong about.

- Flash is a graphics making program not a hacking program you stupid fucking yuppie.

- Programming with Perl is not a hacking book, see programming is a helpful thing...It makes programs like Windows so yuppie's like you can get on the internet.

- Hackers don't wear pacifiers! BABIES SUCK ON THEM JUST LIKE YOU SUCK ON DICK.

- Linux is not dangerous software you fool...Hahahaha its an operating system except its not as lame as winblows. You need to learn and quickly my friend.

- I feel sorry for your kids that they have to go through this. My thoughts go out to you...You six kids are without a doubt the bravest kids ever!

- Hackers don't dress a certain way, you must be thinking of "Ravers" or "Extacy Users" not hackers.

- This isin't something your wrong bout...Its a question...What do you do for a living?

- Also I wanna know where you get off saying Quake is a bad game...Games don't attract hackers fool.

Oh fuck this shit I quit man my hands are starting to develop blisters from typing all this shit up.

I agree with anyone who reads this because you are an over-cautious parent and should be beaten and sent to jail so you can get your asshole ripped you stupid yuppie. This has to be a joke because no-one is that serious about this and that ignorant!

<b> WIDELY NARROW </b> (none / 0) (#107)
by computerologist on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:56:49 PM PST
*realizes he uses a computer with an AMD chip in it* *then realizes he's also got a high end graphics card* *opens his red hat linux the fires up flash and opens quake and shoots people while he's waiting for flash to laod, and listens to electronic music.* *looks at T Reginald Gibbons name...* types in the console terminal of flash ..
>dos:hyperterminal/whois/T reginald gibbons/
>ping traceroute/IP/
*decides he is going to 1337 H4><0r joo

i have never seen so much lack of intellegence in one post...have you gone completey you really think that what you say is correct? quite honestly i have never been so completly annoyed by any one person's ignorance in a very long time. i mean there anyone here that has the slightest knowledge of computers? are you a complete moron, i'm thinking yes...flash??? hacker program...oh yes of course...and photoshop...please....and lets not forget that hackers have glow is offbase id10ts like yourself that put so much fear into the hearts of the unknowing...i'm going to make sure everyone i know the computer industry makes a visit to this thread..BTW...I'M in the computer industry and i know exactly how uninteligent you really may have a few of these other poor saps fooled with your knowledge of such great hacking programs like DOS and FLASH...i however know better...i really hope people like you with computer hating ideas and lack of knowledge really learn something about what your acusations really mean....i'm going to unleash my bonzai buddy onto you ..and have it chomp its way thru your computer and find out all of your dirty secrets..i feel i have lost a few braincells and lowered my iq a couple points after reading this <b>trash</b> you think is information. thank you...moron

Please god let this be a joke (none / 0) (#109)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:58:22 PM PST
OK you Sir need tot hink about what you said and what you wrote down, beacuse as I see it you just described every teenager with a love for computers perl a hacking book you have got to be kiding right perl is a programing language and nothing else it's not used to "hack" or learn to do so,

Linux,Unix is what your ISP uses (yes even AOL) and this server you are using right now to post this message uses linux, there are very few servers witch do not use a *nix based system to run,

Flash my friend is a gfx program used for making small internet freindly movies .swf files witch can be embeded into a page on the server and when viewed the movie plays,

Faster video cards would be call for the shitty 4 MB card your using at the moment that probly has trouble playing any game better then pac man so a nice 32 MB card would run the video games alot nicer smother and at all in most cases seing as 32 MB cards these days are normal,

AMD's well the way you talk about the AMDS CPU it sounds to me like you work for Intell, but that couldn't be so as someone as stupid as you could never get such a job,

My mother is at work fvrom 9 - 5 on a computer dose that mean she has enough time to dos someone,

Quake is a game and that's all it is I have played it maybe once and dont like it to much,

so a hacker has to be a skinny pimple faced weak teenager does he well FYI I bench 160 pounds 400 reps 50 a set with 1 minutes breaks in betwen, but hangon that would make me normal would it,

and in no way is your son a hacker if he is struggling academically as you so nicly put it, hackers tend to be smarter then the normal everyday joe and "will" do much better in school provided they are encouriged and not put down all the time by their parents such as you,

maybe your son just needs a little love a little caring on your part beacuse it sounds to me that your whole life has been boot camp and you are doing as your parents did to you to your son, maybe you should ease up of him just a little bit and tell him you care about him and thats the reason your doing all of this and one day maybe you could sit down with him infront of the computer and maybe learn something be part of your sons life instead of being his father maybe be a friend once in a wile as this is how your son feels,

I seriously hope this is a joke writen by someone as if it is not it is the sadest story I have ever read not on your sons part but on your part that you feel this way that you think this way it realy gets to me,

And by the way for the person that said this could be used as a starting point for a hacker get real would you type hacker into any serch engine on the web and see what you get,

Thank you if you read this and understand but I dought you did read it and if you did I dought you understand it..

You are a complete MORON (none / 0) (#110)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 05:58:43 PM PST
Yes you, you have no idea what you are talking about.....check your facts before you spew stupid crap like this....GET A LIFE!

Good god, this is ridiculous! (none / 0) (#111)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:00:31 PM PST
Let me shake a wee tad of sense into your obviously very odd head. Moving on, I believe this article was created in jest. If it was not, then I truly cannot believe your stupidity!

Allow me to refute each and every one of your "points" and you can even receive the added benefit of my sarcasm and wit!

Additionally, I will attempt to spell correctly and create proper sentences, in strong contrast with many of these responses.

If you even attempt to call me a hacker because of my knowledge of the "dark side of computers" (anything not AOL or Compaq :P) then I will be forced to DOS you. LMAO.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
Well. Allow me to start off by saying that your astounding knowledge of computers and the "intraweb" is evident in your first question. Normally changing ISPs would be a tad odd, however, from AOL, he could not be blamed. I know that any "hacker" would not ask to switch from AOL, because they would be able to navigate around the "watchdog protection" with comparable ease. However, this has been done to death, so lets move on. Bottom line: You're an idiot if you use AOL, can't blame him.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
As much as it wounds me to admit it, you may have a sort of point here. Although your examples are borderline retarded for reasons mentioned in the above responses, it is true that you could find new programs here. However, most "hacker" programs that one could use (ie ones to DOS you.) would not show up here. They're not retards.

etc, etc.

I can go on forever showing what a DUMBASS you are. But even your stupidity has bored me now. Thanks for the laugh. I appreciate LAUGHING AT YOUR GOD DAMNED STUPIDITY RETARD. GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE FOR YOUR SON'S SAKE. It's people like you that give the internet a bad reputation.

LMFAO!!! (none / 0) (#1303)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 5th, 2001 at 06:49:42 PM PST
Too bad all of you "l33t h4xx0rs" cant understand SATIRE!!

Get out from in front of the computer, get laid and read a book. Try the dictionary...start with "s", i hear SATIRE is an interesting word!

Morons that replied.. (none / 0) (#3414)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:42:20 AM PST
This article is a obviously a joke. I'm sure the author is laughing his ass off at all you enraged yougins replying.

This is a joke, right? (none / 0) (#115)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:09:38 PM PST
This HAS to be a joke. No one could possibly be this incredibly stupid.

If it isn't, I pity your children having such a nazi for a father.

Let me provide some counterpoint to the items listed here.

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
Ok, first off, if he wants to change ISPs, chances are he'll do it without your knowledge by gaining access to either shell accounts (not an ISP I know but bear with me) or hack ISP accounts (if indeed they're worth their salt as a 'h4x0r'). Secondly, AOL is used more often than not by idiots who think they can 'hack' (if you don't believe me, look on IRC sometime).

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
Bonzai buddy is some instant messaging crap (I think anyway, at any rate it's harmless). Comet cursor is annoying, but again, harmless, and flash is an animation package by Macromedia you moron. If we were all so paranoid about having software on our computers why should we even bother owning one?

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
OH!!! This one pisses me off to no end. Faster video cards... well dumbass, a faster video card provides better performance for 3D games, nothing more (and if you'd care to debate me on this I'd love to have a go as I've been using these 'hacking devices' for ages to design... OH MY GOD!!! video games). A larger harddrive? Well perhaps he's got some video games that eat massive amounts of space, or applications, or whatever... use some logic. AMD... this one is the worst case of shooting your mouth off I've ever read. AMD is indeed a microprocessor manufacturer, and while I don't know where they're based out of, I'm pretty sure your racism filled comment (and you're trying to instill good morals? PLEASE) is inaccurate. They make very high end processors, that beat out 'high quality american made processors' in just about every test. Intel has no 'security' to prevent hacking you idiot. The only security intel is interested in is keeping people from making their current processors faster. (Those in the know will recognize I'm referring to overclocking, but this simp couldn't possibly understand it, so I won't waste my time.) As for your sweatshop/child labour comment... show me your proof.

4. Does your child read hacking manuals?
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... 'hacking manuals?' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'd be sure to pick one up if they ever existed. Twit.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
This is a reasonable concern as we all want our kids to be somewhat social and such. However, your point here again is laughable. DOS attack -> (D)enial (o)f (S)ervice attack. Where do you see command prompt there you moron? Secondly, by gaining access to a remote machine doesn't always necessitate a 'hack'. People have been known to give out accounts on remote machines. Sadly enough, there are plenty of brats out there doing this every day, but chances are they're doing it out of rebellion against a nazi parent like yourself (among other reasons I'm sure, being an asshole is high on that list too).
I know if I didn't spend HOURS on my machine I'd be poorly equipped to deal with my job. You don't know what kind of a future you're ruining there by not allowing him access.. He *could* end up being a brilliant programmer one of these days and this article shows me that you really don't give a rat's ass about his future, but more how your child makes you look in front of others.

6. Does your son use Quake?
I play Quake. Am I hacker? Hell no. I'm just someone who likes playing video games from time to time. If you equate Quake with hacking, then you really need to put your computer back in its original box and bring it back to the store, you're obviously too stupid to own one.

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?
Uh. Dickhead, this here is a part of growing up. I went through it, so did most other people I know. Deal with it.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?
This just proves how little you actually know. Personally, I don't like 'lunix', but I will defend it here. First off, it's LINUX you tit. Lunix is Unix for the commodore 64. While a good many people use linux and derivatives to 'hack' machines, a lot of companys, and universities use it too. So I guess they're all hacking your gibson now eh? On top of that, if you actually did any research you'd realize it doesn't matter what operating system you choose to 'hack'.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?
See #7 you dingbat.

10. Is your son struggling academically?
... this one baffles me with its leaps of logic. Could it be that.. HEY he's probably BORED with school??? Please tell me you're not allowed to drive, if you're this stupid I'd hate to see you behind the wheel of a car.

And that concludes my rant. If you doubt my knowledge on the subject you'll be pleased to know I write software for a living. So I like to think I know a few things here and there. I'm also a father and while I don't know everything there I think a little wisdom/logic is always helpful in raising a child.

People like you are and always have been what's wrong with kids. You're a nazi, your parenting 'skills' are in need of a major overhaul. You need to start educating yourself before sending out piles of useless paranoia filled garbage. If your son did turn out to be be a terror I wouldn't blame him. Parents are always quick to blame others and not themselves for what's wrong. Next time your son fucks up, look in the mirror for the person to blame.

Frankly, even if this is a joke, I'm disgusted as so many other idiots will follow this as gosphel. Time for people to start thinking for themselves and RESEARCHING to understand what they're dealing with.

Please do us all a favour, cancel your internet account, sell/return your computer and don't come back. It'll make the world a better place to live.


Re: Joke (none / 0) (#399)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:40:11 AM PST
> This HAS to be a joke.

Off course it is. But still it must have been some work to make it. Good work!
>2. Are you finding programs on your computer that
>you don't remember installing?
>Bonzai buddy is some instant messaging crap (I
>think anyway, at any rate it's harmless). Comet
>cursor is annoying, but again, harmless, and
>flash is an animation package by Macromedia you
>moron. If we were all so paranoid about having >software on our computers why should we even
>bother owning one?

Eyy, most if these are BAD. They are SPYWARE(not flash though). I think IE might try to install crap like comet cursor automatically if u enters a a site like dilbertzone(Thank God there are alternative browers like Opera 6).

Why would u call it paranoia, not all plp like to be in the Big Brother tv-show, and beeing peeked at. Take a look at AdAware from LavaSoft and get rid of such crap.

Still a bit laughing though...

Re: Re: Joke (none / 0) (#7090)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 24th, 2002 at 08:30:14 PM PST
btw.. comet cursor doesn't automatically install when you visit sites that use it.. by default, IE *should* (and key word is: should) bring up a prompt dialog asking if you want to install something such as comet cursor. If you choose not to, then it won't install. end of story.

what a stupid mother fucker (none / 0) (#6887)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 05:59:05 AM PST
fuckin die whoever wrote this lame ass fuckin shitty article

What a joke! (none / 0) (#116)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:12:16 PM PST
"You could say I'm a model parent." It can also be said that youre a model idiot. NONE of your views have ANY validity. I really do hope that you were just writing this article to get a rise out of intelligent people, instead of 'alerting' other parents. The only alerting you did was letting people know how ignorant you are, and how little thought and research went into writing this biased article.

Wow, Some poor talk (none / 0) (#118)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:13:47 PM PST
Well i am not into flaming just wanna say that your comments about amd are inaccurate at best, AMD's line of chips in fact are better and in most test beat intel's top of the line chip, they are not inferior, and regardless of what chip u use how does that make you a hacker? Security features?? on the chip?? where? find me info on this. So for you to speak in such a way makes one believe you work for intel, so plz dont talk w/o first doin some real research. Thanks

Filthy lies! (none / 0) (#119)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:14:47 PM PST
This article was written by a good-hearted parent, with absolutely NO clue about computers. First off, the operating system is called Linux, not Lunix. Linux is a legal clone of the operating system UNIX, which was developed by AT&T Bell Labs, in the 1970s. It's perfectly legal and in no way suggests the user is a hacker. It's a faster, more stable operating system than any version of Windows. Mandrake and Debian are two of the thousands of Linux distributions. A DOS attack stands for Denial Of Service and has nothing to do with the "DOS prompt" on a Windows machine. As for switching ISPs, it might be because AOL is slow, while a cable modem is very fast. AMD is a company that was formed from Intel, when the US government found Intel guilty of being a monopoly, and insisted they break in two. AMD is sold everywhere and has nothing to do with hacking at all. AMD chips have tested much faster than current Intel chips, by the way. "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash"." None of those have anything to do with hacking and are perfectly safe. Flash has to do with animation. Quake is a popular game, and hey guess what? It also has nothing to do with hacking. You should worry about hacking when you see words like "l33t", "packet", or "sub7". I feel very sorry for the child of the author of the article I'm responding to, for his father is the most ignorant person I've heard of in years. Sir, please research things before jumping to conclusions. If your son's behavior is turning bad, his grades are slipping, and he's changing his appearance, it's because he's a typical teenage boy with a not-so-typical ignorant father who doesn't understand a thing about his passion; computers. If you want to reply to me, you can Instant Message me at Panny171. I think this article had to be a joke, but I responded just in case it wasn't.

Intel a Monopoly? (none / 0) (#2915)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:03:10 PM PST
You bloody MORON!

You got your friggin' story mixed up; nitwit! Its Microsoft that was found guilty of being a monopoly, you sophomorical ARSE TAKER!

Get your friggin' facts right! AMD was around before Intel was feeding off its mums tits.... FFS, what the hell are you on?

I better watch out for my pocket calculator at home...... it may take over my bedroom.

you dumass (none / 0) (#120)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:15:45 PM PST
Comet cursor is not a hacking program you moron.. Its a program that changes your ability to change the look of your cursor. and Flash is one of the coolest things given to us. Go to this link to see what flash can do . My gosh. Get your information straight. You have just described in your top 10 list a lot of my friends here at the university of texas. First of AOL sux to begin with and anyone who wants that ISP is stupid as is. 30 minutes on the computer.. Damn... I surf the net and play comp games for hours.. THat makes me a hacker .. NO.. Linux is the most stable OS out there.. Your son aint no hacker. Your son is a developing computer science person or has some future. Dont take that away from him because you are an ignorant dumass. You got a problem with this IM me on instant messenger if you know what that is PheonixSP . But this posting to begin with is stupid and shows complete and utmost ignorance

I dont belive the stpuidity (none / 0) (#121)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:19:04 PM PST
Thanks for the insight into how to determine hacking/cracking traits in my kids. I have now taken liberty in destroying all equipment powered by electricity in my household, and will be doing the same in my neighbors houses (when they are at work, they will thank me later)

My kids have been shackled in the dungeon, and I will beat the hacking/cracking devil out of them daily. The fact they are 40 and 43 years old respectively and have their own kids doesnt matter, I dont want my grandchildren infected with this garbage. I recently found out they have been writing open source software in their spare time. They will come to learn my outrage at discovering this attrocity.

Please Read (none / 0) (#125)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:23:03 PM PST
Whoever gave you all that information is quite
obviously trying to make you look retarded. None of what you said is true, and most of it is quite hilarious. As for as the Jesus Christ thing, keep your religion to yourself. My goodness how many times do people have to say shut up about your religion before you realize that they dont want to hear it.
The fact that you call linux 'devil' software shows that you're moronic. The reference for DOS as being 'gaining access to someone else's command prompt' is the funniest thing i have ever heard. You people are not GROWN-UPs, nor is your attitude adult. The fact that you would consider all this information without researching any of it yourself shows how dependant you are on other people's knowledge.
Sincerely, a person who knows alot more about computers than most of you people who call your self parents on the account you had sex and a wee little one popped out after 9 months.

You saved me! (none / 0) (#126)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:23:11 PM PST
Thanks for telling me my son was a hacker. I noticed him rebeling against what I told him to do, I thought it was a normal teen behaveour, but I guess I was wrong. I also noticed he doesn't like our AOL and made me buy DSL and keeps wanting me to buy a "bigger" computer, my guess is to do more powerful hacking. I mean who needs more than a Pentium 166?

He also asked for a CD burner. I hear these things are used to steal music of CDs and light them on fire afterwards. This is also a very good hint.

He also installed this Lunix. I hear people use this to steals movies of the old video disks.

I think I'm partly to blame. I installed these hacker programs: Bonzi buddy, comet cursour, and Gator. These come with other programs. I think they disguise them to allow hackers access to your computer.

I also saw him use this program called <a href="">VNC</a> to use his computer at school. This is obviously a hacker version of the popular PCAnywhere program.

He also installed a hacker program called InoculateIT. He claims it removes viruses. I think he uses it to cover his tracks.

Thanks for helping me figure out my son was a hacker before it was to late.

LOL (none / 0) (#1331)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 5th, 2001 at 07:31:25 PM PST

haha (none / 0) (#1701)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 08:55:37 PM PST
ok this coment is pathetic you son probably didnt want aol b/c he noticed he was BEING HACKED and a pentium 166 is a slow computer

there are 2ghx computers now thats over 20 times the speed of your computer you raving idiot

call the proctologist (none / 0) (#2898)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:12:07 PM PST
jesus you are dumb man if you had any idea what you just said do a lil research online and you will find out what those programs really do bonzi buddy is just a lil cyber pet that does different thing like tell you a joke every day. comet cursor is a program that changes you cursor to something other then the damn arrow. and gator it a password storer that a lot of site use so you don't have to remember a bunch of password if you would ever pull you head out of you ass long enough to see the light of day and do alil research you might realize how stupid you really are

re: Is your son a computer hacker. (none / 0) (#128)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:29:21 PM PST
To whoever wrote this: You are the stupidest person on the face of the earth. You should be shot for being such a moron.

To whomsoever it may concern.. (none / 0) (#969)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 09:33:15 AM PST
To whoever thought this is real: You are the stupidest person on the face of the earth. You should be shot for being such a moron.

All this information is incorrect. (none / 0) (#135)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:35:48 PM PST
First of all I would like to say that I am 15 years old. What i would like to say to this document is that most of the information provided here is BS. First of all they spelt Lunix wrong. Its actually spelled Linux, also a couple of the things that crack me up in this article is that Linux was not created by hackers, it is the choise operating system for hackers because it is a free OS and it has lots of functionality, also you do not have to return it to the manufactor to get a new harddrive, you simply just format it or repartition it. It is hard to hack things these days because of the security measures, oh and also QUAKE IS NOT A HACKER WORLD. It is a first person shooter game designed to play over the internet, no hacking is discussed over these things. If someone did need to discuss hacking then they would probably go talk on a IRC server or somthing a little more secure.

Oh yes, also i would like to mention that all the steps listed above are fiction, they have nothing todo with hacking. I dont know why u think of this being malicious when this is preparing them for the world ahead of us. If they learn howto use computers properly and efficiently then in the future they might become a well paid IT specialist or somthing.

Jackie Chan say: (none / 0) (#141)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:49:17 PM PST

YOU = TEH GH3Y (none / 0) (#146)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:55:40 PM PST

oh my. (none / 0) (#151)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:59:20 PM PST
The sheer amount of misinformation the person who posted this article has makes me sick.

Almost everything in it is horribly wrong. I am not even going to go into details.

If anyone wants to contact me, namely the writer of this article, as to why they are wrong and why they need to lighten up, I can be reached on AOL Instant Messenger on the screenname "midnight opera", or I can be reached by e-mail at kamuii@graal2001.

Have a nice day, misinformed lunatics.

this is utter BS (none / 0) (#152)
by chew on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 06:59:48 PM PST
Okay, Reginald..or I can call you Reggie right? you must have been a troubled child growing up, maybe even molested...but all I know is if I were put under the scrutiny you put your kids under, I probably would have seen the light with my dads 38 special. You sir have got issues! You dont know jack shit about hacking, and you certainly dont know what your talking about when it comes to technology and bringing AMD into it. I am 21 and I respected the way I was raised by my parents. They did it by giving me freedom as well as watching what I do, but not in such an assinine way such as what you do to your kids. HAHAHAHAH I love the part when you bring spanking into it. I can just imagine you trying to spank a 17 year old for hacking. Man I would have my foot so far up your ass if you did that. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Get a life loser!

Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? (none / 0) (#153)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:03:18 PM PST
The person that wrote this STORY has no idea about computers or hackers. I could go through his list of reasons one by one, but why bother. I am against hackers as much as any good person should be. BUT! This guy needs to learn a little about what he is writing. FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS USE AOL! There are just too many things he wrote that are so far off base, I wouldn't know where to start. Some of the people and companies he is slamming are very good companies and make some good products and computer programs. Some of the upgrades he says are Hacker tools are improvements to a computer and make them run better even if all you want to do is read your email. The Very best thing you can do is add more RAM to your computer to improve its performance. That isn't a hacking tool any more that putting new tires on your car for the snow. I will NOT run an Intel CPU in my computer or any computer I build for a customer. AMD Runs faster and cost less money. The more I think about this STORY the more I see it's just a joke. It went over very well on my Radio show. AlaskaJoe & Sue Call the show Sunday from 10AM to 1PM Pacific Live on the Internet 1-877-281-2955 or 1-907-892-8312

this is the best entertainment than anything... (none / 0) (#156)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:05:05 PM PST
HBO could offer.

I'd almost be angry enough to go blow some f***ing guys away in Quake if I could stop laughing!! But everyone knows the easiest way to get yourself killed is to be giggling until tears blur your vision. Ah well!! I guess I'll just go hack into someplace cool...OH WAIT...I can't do that either!!...I'm a girl ( I keep forgetting I don't have the adequate intelligence for such high end thought processes)!!!! Now whatever should I do??? Perhaps I will go into the kitchen and be barefoot and pregnant (this seems to be my only other option in life).

by the universe... how can such a thing be here!!! (none / 0) (#1558)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 08:48:46 AM PST

I think not even a trillion of exclamation marks cannot describe my reaction when reading this article and some of the not-pertinent replies to it.
Usually I can find my words.. though English is not my native language, but now i'm in difficulty. I'll try to summarize the ideas for the few readers who would adventure reading as far on this page.

First of all... grammar mistakes abound in some posts, and I doubt they're all typos. No further comment about that nice IQ ! Some mammals are more intelligent than you !

Then the religious fervor .. keep it to yourselves. I'm from an East-European country.. we've been amongst the first nations ever that became christian after the Roman Empire retreated. Don't give us speeches like these, and send fake Evangelists to tell us about religion ! Those who preach like you are fakes... tools of a greater evil than s*tan himself !

The sexist remarks ... i'm ashamed to be human.. in the third millenium there are still people like you on Earth ! You will disappear like dinosaurs did.. and nobody will remember you, not even in museums.
From the beginning of human history women were neglected and thir role in society was minimal because they couldn't match men in hunting, fishing and other heavy stuff. It's not their fault for being sweet and gracious ! Now we progressed and there are other types of work, where women can compete with men, and some women take that challenge. The more, the better !

And about hacking... I started some experiments on the windows network I administer at the university, and also installed evil Lunix in dual-boot with them. I guess you'll crucify me for that! And Lunix (!) is a heresy too, right ?

To those who analised his so-called 'arguments' .. good work.. no sense of repeating myself... though i think nobody noticed the name of poor Skylarov was misspelled(russian who got arrested when he came to the land of freedom ... quite self-explainatory about that freedom right?)

To the girl/woman playing Quake.. try counterstrike sometime :) you might like it.

To the anonymous who'd shoot the author of first posting... you don't need the moral burden of a crime on your young shoulders... the world will crush him because he's a dinosaur. I hope they'll be extinct in a few years.

And some people are truely stupid. His 6 children should benefit of a kind of child protection program. He sounds paranoid and disilusional.

I'm still shocked.. a part of me laughs while another prays for the future of human race.

darkghost at

Complete rubbish (none / 0) (#157)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:05:41 PM PST
Wow, i have never seen an article filled with more inaccuracies and outright speculation and broad overgeneralization as this one.

I feel dumber having even read it.

You feel dumber having read it? (none / 0) (#5010)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 24th, 2001 at 10:57:07 PM PST
I think what you should feel dumber about is not recognizing that this whole this is a parody. That's what all the misspellings are about. Lunix is used to avoid legal issues and sound more like xerox which was the company that Microsoft much of its tech from. That's the xenix reference, another joke. Come on people, wake up.

Thanks for your comment. (none / 0) (#6472)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 15th, 2002 at 05:55:52 PM PST
Congratulations, you understood it as well.

Complete rubbish (none / 0) (#161)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:07:30 PM PST
Wow, i have never seen an article filled with more inaccuracies and outright speculation and broad overgeneralization as this one.

I feel dumber having even read it.

For a parent to TRULY catch on if their child is a "hacker" (which this author has no clue what the meaning of the word is) you'd need to be more computer saavy than your child and as a Network Admin. I can tell you that is NOT the case as evidenced by the person writing this article who is neither computer literate, nor bothered to even do research.

Your long words don't make you any less of a twit (none / 0) (#7076)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Feb 20th, 2002 at 03:18:44 PM PST
It's a damn joke, it's SATIRE. Look that up in the dictionary, you know? That place where you research all those other long words to use in a vain attempt to make yourself look intelligent :p

you are a moron (none / 0) (#162)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:09:22 PM PST
You have obviously confused your 'raver club kid' with aol.

not buying a word of it pops!

Oh my god! I'm a HACKER! :P (none / 0) (#168)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:15:10 PM PST
I spend like 12 hours a day in front of my computer. I listen to trance-mp3:s. I wear strange clothes. I have been running linux. I've got both the hacker cracdown and some other

Shit! I must be a hacker :P

Shit. You are one elite dude. How could you spot me? :P

I don't know if i should take this article seriously, becuase i've been laughing my ass of the last 30 minutes.

If it is serious, I feel sorry for your kids, and i feel sorry for you.

There is nothing i can say that hasn't been said. But just a question. I produce techno music on my computer. Does that make me an incarnation of satan or something? :P

my MOTHER is a hacker! (none / 0) (#2009)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 8th, 2001 at 06:00:31 AM PST
she keeps telling me I should read that boring
Cryptonomicon book I bought and never finished

i'm damned!

Reality check (none / 0) (#169)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:16:11 PM PST
Ahhh the original articke is soooo far from reality I begin to wonder what that parent did in his teen years to make his neural net misfire so badly. Linus Torvald the Linux creator was not Russian. Linux, Unix, and Solaris are usually more stable and secure then Microsoft products. Or has the rash of MSFT breaches not been noticed?
It would have been nice if the author had actually researched his subject just a little bit. I find it rather disturbing that a person so obviously uninformed would actually be taken seriously by even the most inexperienced computer users. Sorry folks this is one of the biggest jokes I have seen in a long time.

Surprises abound. (none / 0) (#170)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:17:57 PM PST
I am first off all surprised at the amount of people who do not realize this peice as satire. If you don't know what THAT is, retake English in highschool or get a dictionary. Perhaps some of the replies to the article were satirical in nature as well, and I missed that, but the article is blatantly so. Irony, sarcasm, etc to prove a point(s) works well, as I think it does in the above article. One need only to look at the misspellings, the lack of evidence, the laughably wrong "facts" presented, the bit about Quake, and the physiological last paragraph.

However, I myself could be in for a surprise if the article was written as a serious peice. If thats the case, the incredible amount of nonsense contained therein and the lack of even rudimentary understanding of computers and computer culture, is gross incompetence and ignorance at best.

Surprises abound (none / 0) (#3684)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 07:25:30 AM PST
Unfortunately i think this guy is serious. I've seen posts in a couple of newsgroups and it seems he does honestly believe what he is saying, either that, or he is able to carry off his act with complete sobriety and should go to Hollywood as he would win every award there if he can carry this off in person as well.

Simply Amazing (none / 0) (#171)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:18:19 PM PST
wow, i read that and damn...i didn't think morons like this existed. there are no published books on "how to hack". if your child wears baggy pants and carries glow sticks and pacifiers he is a druggy not a hacker. that's a whole different story. just b/c your child has an instrest in the computer doesn't mean he hacks. everything you said is just rediculous you should go kill yourself. your daughter is 17 and wearing make up and perfume...your a horrible parent you idiot if she's 17 and not doin that then there's somethin wrong. i can tell your a real hard ass too b/c if you 17 you don't need to sneak out you just need to say fuck you fuck you im leaving peace. people often want to change isp's for a faster connection. AOL sucks dick i had it twice. 56k can lick my chode. i changed to cable b/c it's 100x faster and just about the same price not b/c im a hacker. i changed the way i dressed, oh wow maybe b/c im a teenager and mommy doesn't have to dress me anymore it's called your own opinion. i think whover wrote this should stop being a hard ass.

ROFL (none / 0) (#172)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:19:50 PM PST
talk about not having a clue , this post is just to funny to take seriously ,theres just to many stupid remarks in the post to mention, I feel sorry for the kid who lives with such a narrow minded parent,
well Im off to go and hack some stereos for mp3z on my hacker freindly ISP via telnet (sif) while i read me some willian gibson with my copy of Flash BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

What a damn n00b (none / 0) (#4685)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 19th, 2001 at 03:20:06 PM PST
i dont even have to say how stupid this artical is cause everyone else that posted here did it for me!! All i have to say is telnet isnt a hackin tool u dumbass, nor can u connect to shit with it without a internet connection established. I host shell accounts for people on a program called mirc, and guess what, they use telnet to log in there accounts...does that make all these people hackers too?? I end the post with 5 are a fucking dumbass

FUCKING IDIOT (none / 0) (#174)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:22:08 PM PST
You sir, are a FOOL. No teenager would allow you to attend parties with him. Also, as a teenager interested in computers myself i obviously know more about them then you, Firstly Linux is not a computer hacking utility and neither is DOS. you must have DOS installed on your computer in order to have windows. and Perl is a computer programming tool, if your son is using this, he is very intelligent, as i belive Perl is very hard to use.

I am afraid too brust your bubble for your sons sake, but that pacifier has nothing to do with hacking. When kids wear pacifiers around their necks it is because of drugs use. Pacifiers are commonly worn by "ravers" or "partiers" they go to all night dance parties that are held illegally in HUGE warhouses or clubs usually. At raves people usually use drugs such as XTC or Exctasy, Excatsy causes you to chew or grind your teeth uncontrollably, i know because i have used it. This grinding of the teeth HURTS severly, the pacifier helps so that your teeth dont hurt as much. Watch your son, when he asks to stay over at a friends house over night. When he does he will probably be wearing the pacifier around his neck.

I am sorry but you sir, are one IGNORANT MISINFORMED FUCK! Stop trying to restrict your son, i am sure he is a very intelligent good kid, you sir are a dumb asshole!

You have to be kidding. there is no possible way you can be THAT misinformed and ignorant. If this is a joke, you are one pathetic, lame, sad sorry for a person. GET A LIFE!

nope (none / 0) (#219)
by NAWL on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:47:17 PM PST
<b>you must have DOS installed on your computer in order to have windows.</b>

Obviously you have never used an NT based OS. With NT4, W2K and XP there is no underlying DOS. Don't confuse the command prompt and DOS. They are NOT one and the same.

Hey, if you consider the fifth grade your senior year, what else can you be besides a pompous jackass?

Hmm ... (none / 0) (#400)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:46:27 AM PST
The fact that you took this seriously is even more sad.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (none / 0) (#175)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:22:30 PM PST
OMFG (that means oh my f*cking god parents) this guy has busted us. Hackers we must strike back and destroy his temple of life before he advances. I will use my new Comet Cursor and =TcK= aimbot version 1.3 to hack created by TcK Wata And TcK cartman to hack into his computer when he gets online, to tell other parents about this. We can hack into his microwave and cook speggetti ***WITH OUT COVERING THE CONTAINER*** that outa teach him to quit messing with us hackers, he will be so owned. I hope he doesnt nail down other virtual hacking institutions like halflife or tribes. Man hackers.... peter was one of our best hackers we dont want to loose him. He always hooked me up with good porn especaily beastiality. One time peter stayed up late and used his hacker tool also known as a DIGITAL CAMERA to photograph his mom Carol naked and masturbating in the shower. Ohhhhhh man that was good shit. nothing like peters mom eh? that sir T Reginald Gibbons is one lucky man. Then we used photoshop (another major hacker tool) to cut out a picture of her tits and make it into a cursor for comet cursor on our hacking site.

wow (none / 0) (#520)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:34:31 PM PST

dais (none / 0) (#1646)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 05:55:26 PM PST
1337 takeoff dude..go get him :)

you can't b347 us! (none / 0) (#2085)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 8th, 2001 at 12:15:20 PM PST
Hahaha, w3 4r3 +#3 l33t, j00 c4/\/n07 s+0p u5. R351574/\/c3 15 fu71L3. All j00r b4s3 4r3 b3l0n6 t0 us. ...

... p373|2's l0ss w1LL n0t g0 unpu/\/15h3d.

4ll j00 3v1L "T Reginald Gibbons" supp0r73rs w1LL p3r15h.

Hats off to peter's pr0n!

The W4R h4s B36Un!

P.S. w3 4r3 "crackers" n0t "hackers" ... your computers are now in danger! Beware of electronic music, it will make your ears bleed!

O, yes! (none / 0) (#3309)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:13:47 AM PST
This photo was really amazing! Our entire KGB Hacking Department in Siberia had a fun with it. Thank you for sending this photos to Red Army. You, without all doubts, will be promoted soon to Senior Hacker of KGB!

Sad Sad Sad (none / 0) (#177)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:24:12 PM PST
Do you know what this is? Sad fucking shit is what it is. The writer of that artical is a complete fucking idiot, and should have his\her children taken from them. So they have an enjoyable childhood. Sorry, but you my friend are a fuckin moron. Go read up. or drop dead. All that information is ssoooo outta whack. Fuck off you sorry peice of shit. Go let your kids have a life

lmfao this must be a joke (none / 0) (#179)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:24:55 PM PST
Frist off the term for it is not Hacker but "CRACKER". I mean who gives a shit if their son is a hacker? Maybe he'll grow up to be bill gates and take care of his parents.

A cracker is someone who breaks into computers illegaly.. And there is absolutely no signs of it, crackers live 2 lives :P

Funny post tho lol

-SI (Secret Intruder)

Misinformation (none / 0) (#2751)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:22:36 PM PST
Sorry, but It hink you have some wrong definitions here. A cracker is someone who "cracks" commercial softwares to make htem available to everyone without paying. They're experts at destroying protections which took days to make in a matter of hours, even minutes. Most crackers were once hackers before, but that's not really revelent.

have u had your head examined recently? (none / 0) (#182)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:29:13 PM PST
Not a single word you said in there is true. People that try to spend lies like you, probably for some religious crusade, make me sick.

·Changing ISP, probably wants a fast internet connection, faster is always better.
·"Comet Cursor" "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash" are no where near hacking programs. Flash is a very useful program to know how to use (future career potential)
·Those are not hacking manuals, I doubt you could even find a store with a true "hacking manual"
·Time is BS, no such thing as DOSing. He/she could easlily be creating a personal website, chatting with friends are the world, or whatnot.
·There is no consumer virtual reality game out there. Quake is just a game, played by millions of people.
·Change in personality = TEENAGERS ARE LIKE THAT!!
·first off, its "Linux" not "Lunix" - This was created by a college student for a class in Europe. Its a free program for ANYBODY to use.
·Change in apperance = TEENAGE YEARS AGAIN FOLKS!!
·This last one is total BS again

How long did it take you to create these lies?

Computers are now and forever here, the more children know about and how to use them, the better off they are in their future.

reasearch (none / 0) (#2814)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:32:29 PM PST
Linux was originaly the joint product of the GNU project (The bare minimum tools required for a computer to function. Period.) and Linus Torvalis (Along with the help of god knows how many other people)

It wasn't a school project either, one day he just decided to write an alternative to the UNIX kernel and learn some C/++ along the way. After a short while he got stuck and posted a now-famous message on a Usenet group asking for help.

He's from Finland, BTW...

RE:have u had your head examined recently? (none / 0) (#4079)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 15th, 2001 at 04:19:09 AM PST
Ummm right i dont think you get that this is a JOKE!
aghh and some people are so self righteous and thin they know all even if it is a joke and being stupid! OF course people know Flash isnt for ahcking infact flash is one of the safest examples of software avilable due to its wide spread implementation on the net.
Also there is such a thing as DOSing
DOS stands for Denial Of Service and has been carried out hundreds of times buy many groups eg.
most reciently it recieved media coverage for shutting down and yahoo for around 8 hours because of the increased traffic!

-thats all.

WTH?! (none / 0) (#5175)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 29th, 2001 at 11:04:01 AM PST
Okay -- Im sooo totally in league here with this guy ... all teenagers between the ages of 13-17 are involved of those activities. I think I have traced the source of this man's anger. He thinks he is a born again Christian spreading 'the word.' Now no offense is offered to any Christians, Muslims, Jews anyone of any religious faith. I respect your right to believe what you desire. But that is no grounds to attempt to spread it. The people you speak above in the article are not destined to your "damned" road, they just desire to be involved and immersed in the technology that dominates this society. It would be a considerable waste of time to reiterate what the other Anonymous reader said -- but he is speaking the truth there sir. Good night and I wish you a great future of bitchin' for you.

Faster is NOT.... (none / 0) (#7139)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Mar 7th, 2002 at 08:56:16 AM PST
...always better, if you think it is you obviously have never gotten laid...

OMFG (none / 0) (#183)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:31:58 PM PST
Hey, you know what? If you're such a an expert on Crackers, why dont you STFU and RTFM before you go posting this bullshit! I thought I had seen worse but I guess not! Listen, I'm 17 and...well never mind....lets just say that you have about as much knowlegde about cracking (and teenage social habits) as Oprah does about weight loss.......

Confession of a Teenage hax0r (none / 0) (#184)
by nx01 on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:35:32 PM PST
Ah, I remember it well. I think it was about 1993, though it could have been earlier -- it's all kind of running together at this point.

The three of us -- ThePope (a blatently blasphemous "nick"), nights3ige, and I -- were all sitting around at the family 386SX/16. We were all about 12 years old. At this point, we were (rightly so) pretty damn impressed with the computer, but we wanted to do more.

We wanted to hack. We had picked up a copy of "Computer Shopper", a typical hacker magazine, and in the very end there was a list of "BBS" services. "BBS" means Bulletin Board where naked pics of babes and lots of war3z are traded. We logged on, and soon we were downloading "shareware" software using the illicit "XModem-CRC" program. We also got deep into "GIFz" which mainly consisted of 256 color pornography. To make sure nobody just "leeched", many of the "BBS" services made sure you uploaded something. Many times, this was war3z or pornography. And so the cycle repeats itself.

Eventually, we went from the war3zing into using the tool "QBasic" to make viruses. I remember doing some serious shit with that -- one did stuff like print out "ALL YOUR FILES WERE JUST DELETED HA HA HA HA!!!" and then make the screen light up different colors. We were totally "bad" and "radical" -- at least to the hacker scene.

Of course, then we were caught. My parents came in one day and caught me reading through a "BBS". I had to explain to them what "l33t" speak was, and why the screen was lit up with a poor-quality ANSI picture of Madonna touching herself "down there". They soon realized that the "BBS" "hacker" scene was what had been drawing me away from my friends, my family, my church -- my life.

They immediately trashed the computer and enrolled me in the "youth group" at a local church. I can honestly look back and say this was the best decision my parents ever made. Since then, I have blossomed into a fine young man who just uses computers for legal purposes, like checking email, reading good Christian material, and posting to

I was fortunate enough to have parents who cared. I can only pray for those kids whose parents don't know enough about hacking. The road it leads our youth is a damning one.

"Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it."
-- James Gosling

Wait (none / 0) (#215)
by NAWL on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:41:54 PM PST
Aren't you the same guy who went on about how he coded the USB code for Linux back in 1989? If so please get your timelines straight.

Hey, if you consider the fifth grade your senior year, what else can you be besides a pompous jackass?

Wait (none / 0) (#216)
by NAWL on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:42:58 PM PST
Aren't you the same guy who went on about how he coded the USB code for Linux back in 1989?

If so please get your timelines straight.

Hey, if you consider the fifth grade your senior year, what else can you be besides a pompous jackass?

Nope. Sorry. (none / 0) (#226)
by nx01 on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:59:01 PM PST
Aren't you the same guy who went on about how he coded the USB code for Linux back in 1989?

No. I vaguely remember somebody making a comment like that, but it wasn't me. My hacking problem lasted for about three weeks in 1993, and I haven't looked back since.

And please. Press "Post" only once. Double (or triple, as the case may be) posting just makes you look like a fool. HTH HAND :)

"Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it."
-- James Gosling

Get Your Facts Straight (none / 0) (#186)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:36:40 PM PST
I have no problem with you monitoring your kids. You have the right to do what you want as a parent. But the supposed "facts" that you give are complete and utter bullshit. You need to get your facts straight before you run your mouth. Let's look at your "Top 10" list. This is the biggest peice of trash I've ever seen.
1. Changing ISPs... in that case every single NORMAL person on the planet with a computer can be considered a hacker. People change ISPs to access information and knowledge faster. If you don't want your children to learn at the fastest rate possible, then you sir or maddam are a bad parent.
2. Programs... umm... alright... Comet Cursor is a program that lets you change the look of your cursor on the screen. It's a waste of space, but it's not a hacking program. Flash is a great program for someone wanting to get into animation. Again, if your son wants to learn about animation and you are trying to limit him, then you are a bad parent.
3. Hardware... of course you want new hardware. Again, this is a case of accessing information faster. Hmm... I wonder why perfectly good and legal companies make faster hardware... is it illegal? If it is then these corporations that you back up are just as bad as your version of a "hacker."
4. Hacking manuals... these are in no way, shape, or form hacking manuals. "Neuromancer" is a great book... it revolutionized the science fiction world in 1984 when with a genre known as "cyberpunk." It was in no way a bad thing. These "manuals" as you call them are books that are the backbone of literature today. People like you scare me are like the firemen described in "Fahrenheit 451."
5. Time on the computer... DOS stands for Disk Operating System. It is Microsoft's original OS. It is the backbone of the computer system. If you don't like it then try and delete it. Restart your computer and post your results.
6. Quake... Quake is a video game. Nothing more... nothing less. It was a revolutional game and, while it does contain violence, does not create a computer hacker.
7. Argumentative... when you get in people's face like that, they have every right to be argumentative. Maybe you do need to "back off" as he said.
8. "Lunix"... umm... try LINUX... it and the other OSs you listed are simply other alternatives to the common Windows. If you watch the news, Microsoft is currently on trial for being a monopoly. I don't see anyone that back up these other OSs on trial for anything. They display different ways for a person to interact with their computer.
9. Changed appearance... go to your son's school. Look at everyone and call them "hackers."
10. Academics... hackers are some of the most intelligent people on the planet. Do you know how much concentration it takes to do these things. A hacker must be able to program, and understand almost every aspect of a computer. Ask any person with good knowledge of a computer how intelligent a hacker is, and you may be suprised at their response. A hacker is someone who seeks information... why oh why would they struggle in school.

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering." "Damn kids. They're all alike." But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a hacker, enter my world. Mine is a world that begins with school. I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me. "Damn underachiever. They're all alike." I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head." "Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike." I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me, or feels threatened by me, or thinks I'm a smart ass, or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here. Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike... You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the
switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
-Hacker's Manifesto

hackers vs. script kiddies (none / 0) (#2742)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:05:05 PM PST
"10. Academics... hackers are some of the most intelligent people on the planet. Do you know how much concentration it takes to do these things. A hacker must be able to program, and understand almost every aspect of a computer. Ask any person with good knowledge of a computer how intelligent a hacker is, and you may be suprised at their response. A hacker is someone who seeks information... why oh why would they struggle in school."

Most of the kids you hear about in the news aren't hackers, they're script kiddies.

A hacker makes thier own tools, and does thier own work, they find thier own security holes and exploit them. These pretty much fall into two catagories: White hats and black hats. White hats get into thier/thier employer's computers so system flaws can be fixed, they're the good guys. Black hats break into other people's computers maliciously (Usually for profit), they're the bad guys.

A script kiddy takes the tools made by hackers, the flaws found by hackers, and the instructions written by hackers, and break into other systems. They're no-skilled parasitic blights on the face of hacking, they are the anarchists.

Analogy - hacking as painting:
Hackers paint The Scream, the Mona Lisa, and such.
Script kiddies paint by numbers.

To the script kiddies of the world:
You're not 3133+, you're pathetic. You don't have any clue what you're doing, and you're screaming it to the world.

You Sad Bastard (none / 0) (#4956)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 23rd, 2001 at 06:18:54 PM PST
Did you manage to use your 50 free hours on AOhell to get this post typed ?

Ever heard of freeserve ?

Ok Bye

heh (none / 0) (#5180)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 29th, 2001 at 12:40:23 PM PST
well put.

Amen to that (none / 0) (#5360)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 2nd, 2002 at 12:59:19 PM PST
Am I male or female?
am I black or white?
Was I born in the US or abroad?
AM I fat or muscled?
It does not matter in this world.


A real hacking manual (none / 0) (#7124)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Mar 5th, 2002 at 05:45:34 PM PST
How to steal this computer book is the only "I quote" Hacking Manual out there and it tells you nothing... and anyone who did read it isn't really a hacker *points to self*

LOL (none / 0) (#189)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:41:15 PM PST

Holy crap! (none / 0) (#191)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:45:01 PM PST
Okay ... I found this article early this morning (around 11 or so) and I thought it was the funniest damn thing I'd read all week.

Then I came back tonight, and all you guys are the damn punchline :) I would even go so far as to say that this is the greatest piece of satire I've personally read since Swift's "A Modest Proposal," and I think all you people that are ranting and raving should take a good hard look at what he's saying, and investigate a little more closely before you fly off the handle.

I must admit, I was buying into the article for a little bit, but the further into it I got, the more clear it became. That's the brilliance of it. A few examples:

1. Point 5's link to "law"
2. The link on the right side of the page to "internet idiocy"
3. Hacking into someone's stereo
4. "Torovoltos," the mad Russian hacker.

And the list goes on. My friends, you have been bamboozled. :)


|)00|\/|3|) (none / 0) (#1611)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 02:52:24 PM PST
What does it say about - well, America, I imagine most of those comments were posted from - that something like this can be taken seriously?

Did nobody find the link to a little out of character? I can see how the "serious" attempts at misinformation so often succeed, though, when the people reading them are so willing to take things at face value.


I can't believe you people think this is real!!! (none / 0) (#1873)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 10:08:28 AM PST
Finally, somebody gets it. I am also surprised at how many people think this is real. There is a link to a picture of a house when he says "house" for god's sake. Haahaa, this article is great. Not quite as good as eating irish babies, but pretty good. Anyone who doesn't get what I mean about babies, by the way, should seach on the Internet for "A Modest Proposal" by Johnathan Swift. Like Bobo said, its pretty much the same thing as this.


Now, I'm gonna go hack into pine and read my email. "w00t" and soforth.


Feh. (none / 0) (#2363)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 01:35:17 PM PST
Mmm, I liked Swift's "A Modest Proposal". ^_^

One thing. I prefer linux, if only because I don't know how to use the rest of the unix-based OS. -_-

Oh, wait, one more. Scrolling, scrolling.. *scrolls down* Whoever made the asshole comment about Koreans can fuck off.

Thank you. ^_^

Spot on! (none / 0) (#4668)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 19th, 2001 at 12:47:00 PM PST
Absolutely, it's an excellently written piece, but it's no great surprise that it sucked in so many people who have an obvious interest in the subject matter.

WTF? (none / 0) (#197)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 07:58:44 PM PST
Okay First.
Linux , Unix , ect. are not hacking OS
its a better os than Windows.
Games? hacking ?
what ? cant kids have fun anymore? would you rather have them drink and do drugs ?
if i was a parent i would let them stay at home and learn about computers and programing and other varrious things, i have a few firends that program and they are making over 25,000 for making a webpage.

and getting new hd? or no proc. chip ? hacking ?
how is this. if you buy a computer one month, that next month your computer is out of date.
i just build a new computer
1.2Ghz amd Thunderbird, Geforce 2 MX, 768 Mb of Sdram. Now they have like 1.7 Ghz and ddr ram.
so asking for new hardwhere isnt "Hacking"

Another thing Channging ISP's If you have AOL, well aol sucks they send you spam. and they are slow i never once connected at 5.6k/s it was allways 4.8k/b, Getting DSL, Cable isnt a bad thing either, it doesn use your phone line (dsl does but not "Tieing" it up) and they are on 24/7

There are diffrent views of hacking
one could be
Mp3/Warez Hacking
Webpage Hacking
r00ting Boxes

but the real hackers are the poeple who hack into the goverentment boxes and Learn
Most hackers are not doing this because they want to
most want to Learn about things, and other thing is, maby some one pissed him/her off (Her = girl hackers ? i never seen any of these, if you are one email me :-) )

But anways

if you son asks for a new hd, or a better isp
why dont you do it, it will help him in his learning.

most kids who spend more than 8hrs a day on the computer will become your IT , Tech support and other computer related jobs.

Like what iam going to be doing. well if u wana talk about more of this email me i will be happy fully talk about what your SON/Daughter is doing

Nick Bitzan

Jesus makes a damn good turkey sandwich! (none / 0) (#205)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:08:14 PM PST
Greetings, foolish mortals. My name is Lucifer.

Your pathetic article, filled with misinformation concerning my children, Bob and Linda, has displeased me greatly.

Being the vengeful ruler of Hell that I am, I have used my "31337" c64 box equipped with the VERY LATEST version of Lunix and written the most malicious computer virus ever. I have combined it with this post, and it has infected the central server at

In turn, all computers connected to it have been infected. By visiting this site, you have also unknowingly downloaded this virus. Don't bother running any anti-viral software. The little Imp which spawns with every transfer of this virus has already entered your mind. Nobody can save you now. Yes, I have your children as well. Your brainwaves have transmitted the infection to them.

My work here is done. I think I'll go play some Quake.

Lunix and the devil (none / 0) (#574)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:14:20 PM PST

This is the funniest crap i have read in a long time

congrats to the author


WOO (none / 0) (#5236)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 07:38:33 PM PST

Rediculous (none / 0) (#208)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:28:00 PM PST
In my opinion, I think you should re-do the whole forum, talk about something that really matters. Its like a 1000000:1 that you're son/daughter knows how to hack...I'm a 17 year old and I do the network security at a web hosting company, most of these bogus hacker kiddies can't really hack, they probably use trojans and virus creators and all this moronic stuff, but thats trivial compared to a formally educated (university) individual who knows how to 1) Program 2) Understand how the system works 3) Understands the platform in which they wish to hack. Most of these trivial issues like winnuke and the such were and are fixed easily...however, a major flaw like the issue with Code Red, Code Blue and Nimda were by people who know what they're doing. BTW, the creator of those viruses were not even from the United States...funny?

No offense, this forum is rediculous. You all must be very insecure, go see a psychologist about being paranoid. Heck, even a therapist :)

Awwww *pinches cheek* so cute! (none / 0) (#209)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:31:34 PM PST
Silly sheep (christians). Thank you, I, literally, spent the last 45 minutes of my life reading the article and every reply to it. I laughed, I cried from laughing, and then I laughed some more. I They could read all of that stuff out loud, in a monotone, on comedy central and get rave reviews

Please, research things (none / 0) (#210)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:34:39 PM PST
At least 90% of your information is completely, uttlerly incorrect. These are indisputable facts. If you can find any site to support your information besides your illogical, bigoted selves, please post links.

Are you simply too paranoid to trust the information on the internet, so you make it up in your head?

Please, clarify how you could possibly post such an uninformed report for people who know nothing on the subject to be mislead by?

Please let this be a joke! (none / 0) (#214)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:40:52 PM PST
First of all this is the slowest loading BBS i have ever visited. Second of all im no saint or master of the english language but the use of profanity here is rediculous, buy a dictionary for goodness sake or make something up, no one will notice here. Third i must be bored sitting here waiting for this to load.
Ok enough crying time to get down to business(ok i admit its really more crying:).
I can only hope this article is satire, while reading it i kept waiting for the punchline. If the guy who posted this is serious i can only imagine what life is like for his "hacker:)" teenagers. Would someone write to AMD and Mandrake about the slander? Everything is made in sweatshops, thats how best buy stays in business.
I suggest the author learn about and research his project. Its almost as bad as I, cringley poorly rewriting gibsons rants.

boobs. (1.00 / 2) (#221)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:53:35 PM PST
well, i have a lot to say about your article. but, picking thru bits and pieces of the other articles, what i have to say has already been said. (yes, some of you are actually smart, but some of u.. where the hell are u getting this?).

boobs. A poem by anonymous. (5.00 / 1) (#260)
by elenchos on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 09:58:57 PM PST
A poem by anonymous.

Well, I have a lot to say about
[The Western literary cannon.]
But, picking thru bits
And pieces of the other [books,]
What I have to say has
Already been said.

(Yes, some of you are actually smart,
But some of you... where the hell
Are you getting this?).


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

Disgusted. (none / 0) (#222)
by nivek on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:54:38 PM PST
I am thoroughly disgusted with the idiocy of this article. First of all, where do you get off telling people that PERL is a bad thing? Perl probably runs part of this website. Second, what in the hell is Lunix? Last time I checked it was Linux, and perfectly legal. Another thing, I consider myself to be a hacker in the sense that I am computer and internet-savy. Does this mean I like to poke around in places I'm not supposed to? Not unless it is of necessary importance. This kind of spread in ignorance is causing the downfall of the image of "hackers". Might want to look up the definition in a REAL dictionary, by the way, as you have failed to grasp it. I sincerely hope this article was a joke.

J00 are silly people (none / 0) (#223)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 08:55:21 PM PST
Does anyone realize the person making this was being sarcastic? Oi! Get a life you people, this person was obviously making a joke -- one which I found quite amusing! Read between the lines, folks!

Hello, My name is 'l33th4x0r' (aka CreQ/proflexin) (0.50 / 2) (#232)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 09:20:12 PM PST
Ok, let's start with the basics
Linux - Operating system that IS legal, and not barely, it is more than legal, many government computers run Linux or Unix.
Quake - Is the safest thing your kid can do on the computer, nobody knows anything on quake.
Switching ISPs - Did you ever think your son might want to switch from AOL to @home cable because he can play his safe game of 'h4xx0r quake' with a decent ping?
The Article - The article you posted shows that you are obviously ignorant, If you are going to post a large article on a site, you might want to do a little research and find out what you are going on and on about is right. I kind of liked your article though, I have not had that much fun reading anything in my life.
Hackers have *usually*:
Clean cut clothing styles
No bad intentions
The intelligence to write an article on something that they may know about

Now that I have said what I believe, I also must inform you, I am from california, and I am only twelve. If I were your son I would see about putting you in some kind of after-work tutoring program. Have a -nice- day.

*sigh* (none / 0) (#6491)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 15th, 2002 at 09:57:57 PM PST
Under 18 and lives in California, thats 2 strikes against your intellegence...

That is HILARIOUS (0.50 / 2) (#251)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 09:48:11 PM PST
Ive been working in the computer repair field for 4 years and never once have I seen anything like this. LAF
OMFG ROFLMAO@ the retard that wrote this.
Oh well, good for a laugh.

not a hacker (0.50 / 2) (#254)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 09:54:45 PM PST
are you retarded? your son is not a hacker, he is a computer geek. he is NOT hacking. learn about the internet before you put stupid posts up.

AMD is a third-world based company ??? ROTFL (0.50 / 2) (#261)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 09:59:46 PM PST
AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips.???? WHO SAID THIS?? what an idiot

AMD (none / 0) (#6217)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 02:48:24 PM PST
AMD is an American Company, look at AMD.COM
and read it by yourself.
It's headquater ist in Sunnyvale, California.

YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT (0.50 / 2) (#262)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:02:00 PM PST
You know, you are a moron, you have no idea what you are talking about, and you are not an ideal parrent, you are an ass, you haven't the foggiest idea how to raise a kid.your kids are losers, and your son is dumb, but its not his fault, because you don't let him grow
you dont even know what a hacker is
Comet cursor is a company which allows web pages to customize their cursors, and is based around the kalamazoo area,(sounds like an evil company to me) RETARD

he he - I guess you haven't seen the joke? (none / 0) (#6039)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 06:12:54 AM PST
The article is a joke... What part of you can't understand this?

this is a joke (none / 0) (#6509)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 16th, 2002 at 06:47:59 AM PST
Joke or no joke, it is surely meant to get this type of response? Or why else post it? So shut your mouth you stupid twat! Let the people give their views. At least a few people have them unlie you and your sorry ass!

this is a joke (none / 0) (#6510)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 16th, 2002 at 06:48:19 AM PST
Joke or no joke, it is surely meant to get this type of response? Or why else post it? So shut your mouth you stupid twat! Let the people give their views. At least a few people have them unlike you and your sorry ass!

You MUST be an IDIOT! (0.50 / 2) (#263)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:03:38 PM PST
Seriously, i dont think i have laughed this much in a long time.
You dont know a shit what ur talking about.
Its like listening to 5 year old kid talk about politics.
no actually, its worse.

A guy from finland... (0.50 / 2) (#265)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:05:13 PM PST
I'm just a 16 year old guy from finland.
My friend found this site and we have laughed to this same case almost every day. It is so dumb that i haven't ever seen anything so stupid. Btw. linux's inventor is Linus Torvalds, from Finland. And hey, come on, you can't be SO stupid that you really wrote those kind of things about quake? :D
Quake:s and half-life are all awesome GAMES. I repeat GAMES. They are just for fun. Eh, you're just dumb as i imagined... I think that your all children hates you when they realize what they have lost for life, thanks to you.. Ya don't have very bright future.

Wrong, wrong (0.50 / 2) (#266)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:05:45 PM PST
This article is so full of errors it is not even funny. You said you did research? What did you read because everything you said is wrong. First off, the fact that you monitor everything your kids do is bad. I guess you just don't trust them, because if you had taught them correctly, you would be able to trust that they would make the proper decisions on their own. And the fact that you have 6 kids is suspect. You also mentioned a 17 year old girl with make-up and perfume as something to be on the watch for. Get with the modern days here, girls wear make-up and perfume, it doesn't make them bad people. Now on to your "hacking" manual. All you accomplished is to confuse parents. Programming with Perl is not a hacking book. It tells you how to Limiting computer use to 45 minutes a day is laughable, anyone who uses a computer on a regular basis knows you need much more than 45 minutes to get anything done. Linux is not illegal, it is a valid OS for computers. Telnet is not a hacking program, it is a legitamate program used, in one instance, to configure routers. You can't break into someones stereo with an mp3 program. MP3 is not even a program, it is a way to compress data so that music takes up less space on a harddrive but retains good sound quality. Also, a hacker doesn't need a faster video card to hack. Like someone else said, real hackers use text based programs like DOS that a slow computer can easily run. AMD is not an illegal knockoff company that uses sweatshops, that is just wrong. Many computers you can buy at stores such as CompUSA, Best Buy and Circuit City offer computers with AMD chips. You said "Lunix" can not be removed from a harddrive without damaging the surface of the harddrive? That is just dead wrong. You just boot up in dos and format the harddrive. Anything can be deleted off of a computer and it doesn't damage the actual surface of the harddrive. Computer radiation? That is funny. If that was a serious problem, we would have heard about it on valid news sources such as CNN, MSNBC, Time Magazine, Newsweek or some other news organization. Since we haven't, and since there are NO stories of computer radiation, it is obvious that you are dead wrong. This article is sooo wrong. Oh, yeah, I can't wait until your kids go to University, if you even let them, because I bet they will go wild because they don't have you looking over their shoulder all the time and because they will have so much freedom. This article sucked.

Good Satire... Parents Like This Must Be Stopped (0.50 / 2) (#269)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:10:50 PM PST
Parents like this are very good at producing poorly educated, mindless drones. Children with this kind of raising are helpless at thinking for themselves and have no understanding of responsibility whatsoever. Without freedom to learn who they are, what they like, or where their interests may lie, they will develop no sense of direction. Without direction, they'll never truly grow outside their limited cages. They will likely become dregs of society, or at the very least, spend their lives aimlessly perpetuating these sad, restrictive ideals. Sadly, there really are parents (who, obviously, have reproduced) out there who believe these actions are the best way of raising children. They must be stopped. All they do is manufacture "Good Citizens" for our government and other oppressive establishments to come. Initially in my life, I found myself under this kind of parenting. My salvation came from my discovery of technical aptitude. The computer hacking community saved me from life a meaningless life of silly absurdities. It wasn't until my introduction to the BBS Scene and subsequently the Internet that my mind truly began to expand and acquire new viewpoints. Certainly, I've dealt with the suffering of confusion and uncertainty, but I'd take that over ignorance any day. The choice to choose ignorance or principle will be offered to my children one day.

Am I a Hacker?! (0.50 / 2) (#270)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:11:29 PM PST
OMG! I think I'm a hacker!?! I play quake, I use lunix, i own the movie "Hackers", I dress with baggy clothing, and no too long ago my hair was a strange colour. What ever shall I do? please help me, i don't want to be an illegal hacker! I did bad in math and chemistry, and I asked my daddy to switch me to a more hacker-friendly isp, now on because I was told to by an 3l33t guy on irc room called #h4ck3rZ!

will someone please help me?

[ThC] USCREAM420 (none / 0) (#1101)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 09:26:57 PM PST
...It's okay, just calm down. U can fix all this, ur life is not yet over... YES, we can save u. just stop using computers. no u've FTP'ed to too many places, ur a real hardcore hacker. U've even started to use those numb3rs inst3ad of l3tt3rs... I think its all over fer ya... sorry ... unless u become amish and stop using all electrical devices.... IF I EVER SEE THE GUY WHO WROTE THIS SHIT.... I SWEAR THE FUCKING GOD, I WILL TAKE A HOT STEAMER RIGHT ON HIS FOREHEAD.... A BIG FUCK YOU TO HOSE THAT STAND BEHIND THIS GUY <<<<FUCK YOU>>>>> IGNORANT BASTARDS.... i dont usually use naughty language... but come on ...

YES (none / 0) (#6425)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 15th, 2002 at 09:08:24 AM PST
i can help you.
first stop playing quake witch is violent and stupid, u should play RTCW where u can kill nazi (like the one who writes this shit) if you have no money you can easily find some ftp (i won t give u mine) or if ur computer isn t good enough for this game just download ra3, it s free and it the same as quake but better in internet gaming coz l33t r playing. (if you think it still too violent just buy the last disney game because there no ftp withit)
then stop using linux it s for c0wb0yz, unix ou freebsd are better. but keep windows xp for ur dad with those fuckin' gay colors. moreover he can t see if you install "illegal" program (just the use of these program is illegal) and you ll pass for a good american (stupid ?) boy. honestly in france about 90% of the young user are more hacker than the boy this typ and the parent agree coz they have a lot of good progam for free :) (french have never been honest and it better like this, it s funier :p)
for the movie "hackers" i can do nothing, maybe you should watch better movie like "dancer in the dark" or "in the mood for love" and ur parent will think you are intelligent and let u do everything u want.
change ur clothes too, u mustn t look antisocial, because the hackers always have the same look. it the way we can now know they re hackers... a man well dressed can t be a hacker.
if u follow all my advise you will no longer appear as a illegal hacker and you will be a perfect innocent american boy.

69 (0.50 / 2) (#271)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:13:25 PM PST
its fathers like that that turn their sons into queers. his kid was a 31337 hax0r and was down the the ski11z. its not true that all hackers do poorly in academics. example: bill gates
the father needs to get his n00b ass off of aol and get a real hax0r isp. "i go to parties and make sure there is no alcohol" that was the funniest thing i have ever heard in my life. those kids must have gotten the shit kicked outta them. pZ ouT hax0rs
-Mr. R

this is the funniest thing i ever read go #mapcoe (0.50 / 2) (#274)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:17:16 PM PST
if this is a joke, it did its job.. cause it made me laugh... if it isnt... then this person has some really bad problems...

cause that would make everyone i know a hacker...
lets see if i am shal we?

1. I dont use AOL, because its slow and for idiots that wanna pay 21 bucks a month for dialup or what ever they charge you...

2. I know how to take programs off the add and remove programs menu WITHOUT taking them off the hardisk... and i have Flash installed...

3. "faster" video card to help hacking huh? can someone tell me what vid card cant run netbus? plz... this is just sad... AMD is a dead giveaway? yeah.. who would want a cpu that cost over half the price that can do the same if not more... thats unamerican :/... (note the sarcasim)

4. nope.. clean there...

5. 8 hours? thats it?... well... i normaly double that... and thats on a slow day :)

6. quake eh? what are we running off of.. a 486?... we are talking Ghost Recon, Return to Castle Wolfstein, Counter-Strike (shudder), Project IGI, Diablo II and other titles like Carmageddon 3.... guess thats a hit...

7. People like make me angry... so i guess yeah... i wouldnt listen to your crap either...

8. Naw, i use a heavly modified ver of WindowsME (i dont wanna hear a comment on that.. :P)

9. naw, still wearing all black and camo like ive been doing for years...

10. meh, im out of school.. more time to hack i guess....

sooo in other words... i must be a "l337" hacker because as a magic 8ball says "all signs lead to yes"... so watch your backdoors people cause there is another hacker on the loose

YOU ARE AN IDIOT by PHiNK (0.50 / 2) (#277)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:25:09 PM PST
I guess it goes to show that anyone can have a message board and put their ignorant views out there for everyone to read. I think if this is your idea of a HACKER, then you've obviously got to have you head checked.
I think you are just using the wrong word. The difference between what was just mentioned above and whas true, your son is just obvously a geek. Geeks are those who devote hours of their time to make themselves "seem" important. Hackers on the other hand, arent known as hackers. They do spend time on their computers, but in many ways dont shut out the real world. To separate the geeks from the hackers, look around hackers are among you. I stand before you to show that I maybe a hacker, once a geek. But the difference in my life now is that you would never know it unless you asked me a question about possibly writing a shell script or being able to hop networks in order to gain access into somewhere that spoofs ip's of unwanted guests.
If you are a hacker, you dont want anyone to know it. You dont want anyone to know you drive around finding backdoors to 802.11b networks and destroy all company data. But a geek would let everyone know, "I've got this new FTP program and it'll search common names for user's and passwords and i can download the updates to Counterstrike before anyone else does..." While wearing a t-shirt that might say im a "31337 h4xor!" Please, tell your son to play with barbie dolls, because id not make as much fun of him then...

Thanks for your time..
PHiNK <--- Doesnt use Bonzi Buddy...

misguided uninformed parent is a buffoon (0.50 / 2) (#282)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:43:34 PM PST
What the hell are you thinking? this article sounds more like a joke from BBspot or the rantings of someone who is so tragically uninformed that it makes baby jesus cry. If you are a parent reading this and you believe any part of this moronic ranting than you should be locked away for gross incompetence.

1. AOL. AOL is not a premiere ISP, they are THE ISP for people who want to get on the internet with a minimum amount of actuall knowledge of the internet. People who know what they are doing shun AOL in favor of other ISPs which are less like the internet with training wheels.

2. Comet cursor, Bonzi Buddy, and Flash are not hacker programs. They are internet add ons. Next time you think you have a hacker program I suggest you visit and actually verify what these programs do by searching for the name of the program. Comet Cursor allows websites to use animated mouse cursors, Bonzi buddy is made by Microsoft and is a little animated monkey / internet helper app, and flash is made by macromedia and allows you to view simple animations in web pages. All legitimate programs from legitimate companies. Not hacking evidence.

3. Intel and AMD are both american chip companies that both make quality processors. This idea that one CPU is more hacker freindly is moronic in the extreme. Most computer enthusiasts prefer AMD because their chips are cheaper and faster than intel processors. No CPU is churned out in some sort of sweat shop, where do you get this crap. Chips are manufactured in high tech factories in clean rooms where sweat would contaminate the fabrication process. AMD is sold in stores. Please see for more information as you are terminally misinformed about CPUs and how they lend themselves to hacking. If you really don't want you child to be hacking then get them a macintosh because despite what you see in the movies macs are not premier hacking machines. Then again once your child learns about computers they may despise you for getting them a mac over a PC. If they like their mac computer then there is almost no chance whatsoever that your child is a hacker.

4. Perhaps you should read some of these books you claim to be hacker manuals. Of course with your limited mental faculties you will undoubtedly not understand any of the words written in these books and so you might as well read something in a foreign language that you don't understand because it will make about as much sense to a mental midget such as yourself. HAve fun with your book burning crusade by the way. :-/

5. DOS stands for Disk Operating System. A DOS attack means a Denial Of Service attack. They are not the same thing. Most denial of service attacks are launched by hackers using software running on other peoples computers. These people are unwittingly letting their systems be used to attack other computers by not running anti-virus software of adequately securing their computers from hackers. The amount of time your child spends on the computer is not an indication that they are launching a Denial of Service attack on someone. Limiting your childs ability to acces a vital resource such as the internet and the information it can provide is not going to help them grow up to be a better person. It will help them to grow up to be an uninformed person such as yourself.

6. Quake is not virtual reality, it is an online multiplayer GAME. It is entertainment, not some hacker training ground. Telling your sons school that he plays quake will not get you anywhere except to make you look like the ass you are. Millions of people, young and old alike, play quake on a daily basis and they are neither dangers to society nor hackers.

7. What you have just described is a teenager, not a hacker.

8. Linux is neither illegal nor some secret russian operating system. Linus Torvalds is not a russian either. Microsoft and the United states government had nothing to do with writing Linux. Hahaha Linux can be uninstalled, just not by a mindless n00b who thinks AOL is the internet. Uninstalling it doens't damage your machine. Linux is only an operating system and you might be interested to know that Windows has "telnet" built into it as well.

9. You seem to have mistaken Hackers for Candy Ravers. Hackers usually prefer dark clothing that bears logos like "Got Root?" and "j00 4r3 n0t 1337." The people who like dayglow colors and glowsticks are candy ravers and that is a whole other issue completely unrelated to computer use.

10. hahahha computer radiation doesn't cause any damage, if that were true then I would be one of the sickliest people on earth. As it stands I am in perfect health and have perfrect vison despite the fact that I have spent the majority of my time in front of a computer for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. Your son may lose muscle mass and gain weight however, that part is true. Encouraging them to partake in other physical activities is healthy. Hackers are usually very intelligent so if you child is struggling in school then it is not very likely that they are a hacker. They are probably spending too much time in an AOL chat room talking dirty to child molesters. If they are merely getting bad grades because they are not applying themselves even though they understand the material and find it mind numbing boring then maybe you have a hacker and maybe you have an underchallenged child who is smarter than you and finds the repetetive regurgatory nature of school to be one of the worst tortures imaginable.

I will sum up my long winded rebuttal with the simple statement that the orinial "guide" writer is so tragically misinformed and uneducated about the matters of which he speaks that his words should be considered a crime against humanity. I suggest that if you believe any part of his writings that you should read and investigate for yourself and then understand for yourself just how wrong and incompetent his ramblings are.

Thank you for your time.

Well done (none / 0) (#478)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:12:06 PM PST
Saved me a lot of typing there. I read about this on a Quake related site (heavens I'm looking at websites about the game, I must be a hacker) and felt strongly against it...but didn't have any solid proof.

But excuse me, Comet Cursor, Bonzi Buddy, and FLASH of all things being hacker programs. If you are not intentionally trying to misinform innocent people, then you must be the most imbecilic person who has access to a computer. I also found the fact that your description of how a hacker "looks" linked to a file specifically called "rave" something or other (it was a picture).

Claiming that Quake can be training for fire arms is quite disturbing. There are many more realistic (and for that matter more popular) games out there. In Quake you use weapons like a rocket launcher, a lightning gun, a nail gun - things you would never have in real life. And you can do crazy things with them that are physically impossible. If your son has access to a rocket launcher something is seriously wrong.

I understand you have freedom of speech, but please don't post such misinformative articles. There are people out there who take your word for it, and you are probably sitting back and getting a good laugh out of it all. Requests for a change of ISP or for upgrades are hardly guarantees someone is a hacker. There are no guarantees. About half the points you posted are valid- while none are proof, they're definitely worth watching for. But some are just so demonstrative of your lack of knowledge on the subject that it scares me to think you contribute to a website - and don't even know what those programs are.

By the way, I'm a teenage male who plays Quake, wants an upgrade for his computer for Christmas, reads science fiction novels like some of the books you mentioned (though some were serious hacking books - I don't read those) along with history/plays/everything else, has those three "hacker programs" on his computer, would be extremely upset if his parents decided to use AOL, prefers AMD chipsets, and doesn't dress like those people in your "pictures of hackers". Anyone care to call me a hacker?

Thank You God (none / 0) (#6106)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 04:48:22 PM PST
Thank you for exploiting the ignorance of this article that was so blatently iodiotic that it made myself, a computer psuedoexpert, laugh my ass off. I on behalf of the community of computer experts thanks you for taking the time to reiderate the iodicy of this article.

Post Script: To the author of the article,
Can you be any mre uninformed! You can't even spell the blody software right!

LOL!!!! OMFG!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#283)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:45:12 PM PST
OH MY SWEET JEEZUS!!! THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS EXACTLY HOW MUCH I'M LAUGHING RIGHT NOW!!! *sigh* OOOOOOK....Mr. T. Reginald Whatshisfuck, do you realize how totally off base you are? I mean, for chrissake, there isn't even an operating system called "lunix"...IT'S LINUX, YOU DIPSHIT!!! And it's and incredibly stable operating system which is way better than anything Microsoft has put out, until Windows XP of course...and then your whole "AMD" thing...AMD is a multibillion dollar corporation which produces processors far superior to that of Intel and their counterparts...AND QUAKE!!! It's a fucking game, genius...hackers don't meet fucking go there to play and release aggression, instead of killing people in real life...if you really would like to know where hackers meet, try a little program called mIRC...In conclusion, people with as small a mental caliber as yourself should not be allowed to live in normal society...rather, you should be shipped in a crate to Greenland where you will be graded on the idiocy scale...Hopefully, you'll be high enough to where we turn you into a walking target, and I'll be able to bust out a nice sniper rifle and end the misery which you've imposed upon the world...I truly hope you die a painful death involving one of the fallacies of which you've spoke...thank you, and goonight...

Greenland?? (none / 0) (#6088)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 01:49:52 PM PST
Hey! I'm from Greenland, and we're not ALL idiots! :'(

pfft.. (none / 0) (#6511)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 16th, 2002 at 07:11:52 AM PST
Lol man, "if you really would like to know where hackers meet, try a little program called mIRC..."
lmfao thats so fucked up, hackers on mIRC? shit ur dumb.. scripters yeah but mIRC isn't exactly home to amazingly strong hackers, ain't sayin those peepz r lame, but they sure as fuck ain't hackers.

My little bro can boot to dos, is he a hacker? (none / 0) (#284)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:51:02 PM PST
Gaadamn this guy is an idiot. What does comet cursor have to do with hacking? Where did you read this crap? Please give us the links because i truelly wish to laugh more. Your child was on the computer for more than 30 minutes.. maybe he was reading all the bullshit his father was putting on the net... maybe he was playing a game, maybe you need to stop watching your son, and actually go read up on hackers. I'd be more conserned with the fact that someone might sneak into your backyard and rape you dog over your son being a hacker. Most (good) computer admins or anyone with power in a computer related job is a hacker, not everyone is malicious, perhaps you are trying to cover up for some homosexual goat cravings by putting your son on the spot.

Are you really THAT ignorant? (none / 0) (#285)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 10:52:51 PM PST
:: i bet your son knows more about the internal operations of a computer than you do, and it is unfortunate you cant admit that he is OBVIOUSLY smarter than you.

:: the words "hacker" and "illegal" dont belong in the same sentence. you are just as confused as the media as to what a "hacker" and a "cracker" really is.

:: is #8 the joke of the day?

:: why do all the questions make reference to "your son", since when is "hacking" based on gender?

:: it's no wonder the world thinks poorly of hackers with idiots like you bad-mouthing them with illegitimate and unsupported "facts". if you were smart enough, you would quickly realize that without hackers, you would have no web page to post your (biased and uneducated) thoughts on... no Unix OS with Apache 1.3.20 web server software, which this site uses... and if BSD is "illegal", why is it that Microsoft used FreeBSD for their Hotmail web servers for years, only to quit using it because of the criticism they received for not using a Windows based web server?

:: for those who really want to learn more about a wonderful *FREE* and *OPEN SOURCE* operating system called Linux, please visit

You are a idiot (0.00 / 1) (#286)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:01:26 PM PST
you are so off based ... Heis called a gamer not a hacker and you kid will grow up to hate you..

Communist Bastard (none / 0) (#287)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:05:02 PM PST
After the initial laughter I came to realize a rather haunting fact. This is REAL! This guy isn't joking around! You'd think someone writting an advice column would do some research before writting such slanderous lies and such, im seriously amazed a true hacker hasnt wasted this fella's machine yet.
Now i keep wondering what his kid was doing that made him think he was a hacker... what could it possibly be... All i could think of was that he was using napster or icq or something... heh.

People like this are why the world has countless problems. You know theres been people, few as they may be, that read this and believe parts of it, and in turn, their childrens lives ruined. Maybe you didnt realize this, but people who work on Computers like Network Administrators make boatloads of money, far more then an uneducated man such as yourself makes.

Did you know there are classes at my school that teach you to use the command prompt, teach you to telnet, teach you to use Flash, and teach you other such things.... and Why on earth would you call flash a hacker program, its the same type of program as Adobe Photoshop!! How much crack did you smoke as a child? DAMN!?

true dat (none / 0) (#2294)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 07:25:46 AM PST
thank you man, youre the most educated reply ive seen yet

YEP (none / 0) (#3340)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:27:59 AM PST
not a thing to add. u are sooo right!

YEP (none / 0) (#3342)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:40:38 AM PST
not a thing to add. u are sooo right! And, btw, i am a parent.

Oh My God!!! (0.50 / 2) (#289)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:11:11 PM PST
Well, What else can I say but, Remember Joseph McCarthy? Russians, hackers whats the difference? Or maybe the salem witch trial? Everyone is a hacker according to what the users here believe.

As far as the 10 ways to determine weather your child is a hacker...Get a clue. AMD processors are a cost effective alternative to provide your computer with faster processing needs. I am an owner of a web development company and use AMD in all of my systems, this does not make me a hacker.

I am also a parent. Forget the ten ways to tell if your child is acting illegally on the net, Ill give you one way. Be proactive in ALL of his/her activities. Do not assume that when they get on the computer that there is not harm available. Kids will be kids, and get into trouble, as parents, we MUST be a part in our childs lives, even when they are at home.

Get a clue, do more research, and be a parent.

Hmm (0.50 / 2) (#290)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:12:03 PM PST
Hmm.. So your son has been playing quake and asked for a faster isp and video card.. And you think this is a hacker? Maybe if he was asking for books on encryption, programming, tcp/ip, and network security there would be cause for suspicion. Just sounds like your son has become addicted to online gaming and also ventured away from the tainted reality called windows and started playing with linux a bit.

You sir, need to read into what you rant about before you make a complete ass out of yourself.

thank god! (0.50 / 2) (#291)
by cAb0oM on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:14:07 PM PST


PS: Of course I am joking... my real opinion is: YOU SUCK!

Is this a joke (none / 0) (#292)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:15:01 PM PST
I must say this is probably one of the funniest articles I have read on hacking, but it suddenly dawned on me... people might actually believe this nonsense. What a scary world this is. BTW, I voted that hackers scare me because they help Osama, as I believed it was the most rediculous responce, but then I see the results... 2nd place. Please do the world a favor and view ALL information on the internet critically. This should include the television too...

Good day

This was a joke, right? (0.50 / 2) (#297)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:31:53 PM PST
Well Reggie, if this was posted as a joke it's pretty hilarious. Some of your links made me laugh my ass off. You obviously don't know ANYTHING about computers, The Internet, or Linux.
I'm thinking that anyone that believes ANY of this CRAP you posted, should not be allowed to have a House PLant, or a Pet, let alone a child.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be pretty happy, I just feel bad for any child of yours.
As for this crap about Women not being good hackers, I disagree. Computers don't care about gender, and I know several women that are excellent with their computer.

Don't be so harsh (0.50 / 2) (#301)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:44:14 PM PST
I am ashamed of all of you. Yes, this man, husband, and father of 6 did make a few.... dozen errors and ignorant or naive judgements, but he was just trying to help other parents. Obviously anyone with a decent amount of computer experience wouldn't have bought into this. By posting such extreme messages is only going to estrange him more and perhaps push him further into his ignorance. I can't say how old he is, but imagine never owning a computer like many of you obviously do. Imagine how much he has to handle, learning with his children, instead of already knowing what they're using. Can we get some constructive criticism please?

Oh shut up you dumb dip (none / 0) (#6102)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 03:59:16 PM PST
If you don't realize that the article is a satire, you're even fuking stupider than the other 99% of people here who don't realize it, and are correcting the author.

If you want to read the comment of one of the few few people who has a clue about this, read;sid=2001/12/2/42056/2147;cid=269#269

number 269 in this topic.

Hi i am here to help (0.50 / 2) (#302)
by exer on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:47:08 PM PST
Hi you seam to be misinformed on a few of the things you are talking about. If you have an intrest in hearing what i have to say about your posting feel free to email me at i will be more then glad to help you gain a better understanding of what you are talking about. And to be honost with you if you were able to tell what you son was doing on the computer with the knowladge you have of computers your son was not hacking any one. One of the first things you would learn as a hacker would be how to cover up what you do.... which means hide everyhting from paretns if it is aplicable which in your case it seams to be an extream.

SEX (none / 0) (#305)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 2nd, 2001 at 11:50:07 PM PST
Now that I have your attention

First off, lets set the ground rules....

This article is not serious.


ok then

Now, this goes out ot everyone that has written a fr34k1ng 3554y (freaking essay) about everything that is wrong with that post....

yah know how it took you all 45 min + to write that? well guess what... you.... all.... are... dumbasses. You've wasted your time critizing an article that is entirely meant for humor.

m4d pr0ps to post 220

any p4r3nt who would even think a sentence in that article was true and that they should be good parents and incarcerate there "m4d H@xx0rz" should be dragged out into the street and shot.

lets rank the intelligents of peeps posting here:
1. Guy who posted the article
-- just trying to be funny, make a point
2/3. Peeps who know he's kidding and thought it was funny
--nuff said
2/3.peeps who know he's kidding and thought it wasn't funny
4. Peeps who thought it might be serious
-- ya ya ya
5. Peeps who think it is serious
6. Same as above, but posted about it

Relax (0.50 / 2) (#309)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:10:44 AM PST
Your son's growing up and is taking an interest in computers. I'm 18, and thanks to my parents not getting their undies in a wad over me staying up every night until 3am on the computer when I was 13, I make $15/an hour doing websites for a professional ad firm.

The programs he's installed are innocent customization features. Flash lets you view Flash movies (something used commonly in making websites), the Comet Cursor just modifies the cursor (the arrow on your screen) and Bonzi Buddy is another harmless, free program.

Just because someone plays Quake (it's a game; you have too many misconceptions about it for me to even begin with) instead of Little League doesn't mean they're a satan worshiping, disobedient welp, it just means they're interested in different things than "normal" kids are. I play Quake but I go to my Christian church every Sunday. My best friend is the youth rep and my grandfather was a minister until he passed away last year. May I also remind you that the bible says not to conform, and - no offence but - by the tone of your article, you seem to be conforming quite a bit and worrying a lot about raising a Leave It To Beaverish family. Maybe you should focus more on accepting your son as an individual than focusing on forcing him into your mold.

The hardware your son's asking for is probably so he can improve his skills at playing the game (Quake), and so he could improve skills at doing something constructive to help the Internet be a better place. A video card doesn't aid Hackers, it makes graphics look better (hence the name "Video Card".) RAM and a larger hard drive will make your computer run faster. I don't know where you read that a video card will aid hackers, but you should stop going there as it's misleading and misinforming.

AOL is a shoddy ISP, if you don't believe me, check out Your son has good reason to want to stay away from it; it's slow, you get busy signals and the tech support workers are typically dolts. All the websites are sent through proxy servers, and the child lock doesn't even work. Try finding porn with it on, I guarantee you'll find some. Likewise, he has a good reason to like Linux. Check into Linux and you'll see why; things like the Code Red virus won't effect it. It's based on Unix, one of the most powerful Operating Systems in the world and it's free. Many government (American Governments, since you seem to be so concerned with things coming from our own country) use it for missle defense systems and other things. The inventors name is Linus, not Linyos, and he wasn't a Soviet, he was an American. AMD makes good processors, and unlike the processors Intel makes, AMD won't have remote access to your computer.

The books your son is reading aren't hacker manuals, they're regular novels. If you see a 2600 Magazine in his room, then you should talk with him about it.

More over, hackers aren't all bad. There are good hackers who work for the government and companies; teams of hackers will try to hack software for a company to improve the stability and performance of it. The government has teams of hackers for the same reason. Some hackers don't even deal with hacking into other computers; they program software. PERL is a programming language, and you should be very proud that your son is delving into something that advanced.

Otaku is a form of cartoon from Japan. Anime, Manga and Otaku are all forms of Japanese Animation. It's common for American kids to like them because the drawings are well done and it's just a trend. Watch a show sometime, you may even like it.

Last but certainly not least, your son's choice in clothing is Raver clothing, not Hacker clothing. If your son is wearing all dark clothes, trench coats and dyes his hair black, be more worried. If I were you, I'd start watching out for drugs as that sort of thing goes on a lot at the typical rave. Unless of course he's going to Christian raves.

Judge not lest ye be judged. Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord. (In other words, stop judging your son and get off your high horse. If you don't, your son will rebel against you and move out the first chance he gets.)

stupidest article ever (0.50 / 2) (#310)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:14:53 AM PST
umm... die in a fire. but 1/16 of that was true. more than half of hte stuff you mentiend i myself do as a 16-year-old. but i am not a hacker, just a computer guru.. a nerd you might say..but not a hacker. this article should be entitle:

"Is your son a nerd?"

I agree (none / 0) (#5863)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jan 10th, 2002 at 03:30:10 PM PST
I too am a "computer guru". I am a self-taught 17 year old in the ways of a computer.
I assume you were referring to a MALICIOUS hacker. In that case, your article was horrible. If you were referring to the correct definition of hacker, "an advanced computer user," then you are correct. Most people do not realize it, but that is the true definition of "hacker." Most hackers, anyway, are not on a mission to destroy other people's computers, but to see if they can get in.

Please tell me this a joke.... (0.50 / 2) (#311)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:16:27 AM PST
I hope this is a joke done by someone who had nothing better to do all day. This just showed me that there are people are there who not only lack intellect, but worst of all are parents. Well, just so that you know, I can say that as a writer, this is the biggest piece of garbage I've ever had the displeasure to read. Have you even honestly researched this topic before releasing this piece of jargon? Quake is a 3-D shooting game and nothing more, Linux is an operating system and nothing more, and Flash is a program used to make animations among other things. While I admit that Comet Cursor is the most useless program I have ever had the displeasure of installing in my system, none of these are hacker programs as you claim them to be. You don't even know what you're talking about, so how can you present a valid argument? I mean, do you have that much to hide that you're afraid people will hack into your computer? You don't seem to have a fear of hackers, but you're afraid that someone will find a skeleton in your closet. Am I right?

You talk about giving your kids "good morals" and want to keep them safe, but you have firearms in the house, which makes you not only worse than real hackers, but you're inviting death to take your children away. Thats already showing lack of brains. Are you going to wait until shoot eAch other in the head before becoming cognitively active?

Now, on to another ignorant thing mentioned in this thing that cannot even be called a work written by a human being. Misuse of the word "Otaku" you even know what the word means? It's loosely translated into "obsessed fan" from the original Japanese. These days it's a term to refer to anime fans, a type of slang used within the United States. Unless you're a fool that takes things too seriously , and see anime as the work of the devil, the word Otaku should not be in this so called essay (I know I'm insulting the word "essay").

You even attacked fashion. You never, ever judge a person by their cover. I happen to know a lot of these people whom you call hackers, and they're the nicest people I've ever met, and they're more hospitable to others, unlike upstuck fools like you, and society does have a word for you too. That word is yuppies. Unlike these nice people, you look down on the rest of the world, and don't try to deny it because you know it's true.

You're an even bigger fool to think that sports are a part of everyday life. Take me for example. I don't do sports. In fact, I hate them because they don't promote cerebral development. Am I evil too? I'm not even overweight, since I am an even 135 pounds and I am 5'2". You must believe in some stupid image that by stalking your own kids, and I really mean stalking, and not trusting them, and having them do sports, you're in an ideal life. Assuming they're hackers without reason just shows lack of intellect on your part. I bet your child doesn't trust you anymore because you thought he was a hacker. I bet his little sister just wanted something and he refused to give it to her, so she in revenge claimed that he's a hacker (children only think about themselves, so you can't deny me this one). I don't know what type of parent you are, but I thank God that my parents weren't like you. I'd probably be living in the same stupid illusion you're fooling yourself with. If you desire to atone for your lack of brains, I suggest you run back to your child right now and apologize to him and take back everything you said. Your child will thank you for it, rather than leave you in your old age in a home and never come to see you. Whichever you choose, it's your family, not mine, but may God have mercy on your soul if you don't.

Just to be an obnoxious know-it-all.. (none / 0) (#412)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:14:57 AM PST
'Otaku' translated means 'honorable house' or something like that, and is a old, formal way of referring to people. Sci-fi geeks and whatnot used it to refer to each other, which is why 'otaku' translates roughly as 'geek' now. It more rightly translates as 'thee' or 'thou' or something. Anyway.

You are Grade A Stupid (0.50 / 2) (#312)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:18:54 AM PST
I don't even know how to respond to this piece of trash article.

Of the billions of sperm, how the fuck did you win the race?

AMD should sue your ass for slander, you little cock-wipe.

Jesus christ you are an idiot!!! (0.50 / 2) (#317)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:27:14 AM PST
By X-R-Cist

Listen up Hobo!
were the hell do you get off saying that people that use AMD and play quake are hackers???
did you stick your dildo up your ass too far this time and cause some brain damage???
Did it ever occur to you that maybe people buy AMD products because they are 70% cheaper than that stupid Intel crap!?
Or that maybe AMD make a better chip?
go on put it on a benchtest whats the bet that AMD will come out in front??

Also how the fuck can you say that playing QUAKE will make a hacker?
Let me tell you something you low life scum, I play quake and the only thing that is talked about in quake is PINGS! i have yet to see someone talk about hacking or FOR FUCKS SAKES WEAPON HANDLING!

maybe you take a game like quake serious but most of us DONT..because like many other games it is just a <b>GAME</b>
and its not virtual reality either idiot, its a 3d game.
Let me give you some key words here, <b>VIRTUAL</b> meaning "almost like" <b>REALITY</b> something real!! ok, if you get shot in "REALITY" you die plain and simple. but not in quake. so its not a "VIRTUAL REALITY game moron!

before you go trying out your new computer your daddy bought for you and make a complete asshole of yourself by trying to seem smart go and get your fucking facts straight before a real hacker finds you and fucks up you and "your sons obssesion with linux" life up!


Me agree with #317 (none / 0) (#348)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:57:46 AM PST
wake up Hobbbbbbbbbbbo,
You're a space invader, I've never read such garbage in my life, ouhhhhh let me guess my life is also shorten because i play quake, wow, snorkel duster, tungle medarcle.
on your bike daddy!

HAHAHAHAH (none / 0) (#318)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:28:14 AM PST
Is this for real???? THis is the funnist shit i have read in years!!!!!

Is your father a Hack Writer? (0.50 / 2) (#322)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:46:23 AM PST
enough said

I'm a father. (0.50 / 2) (#330)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:05:23 AM PST
I play online games with my son. Counter-Strike to be specific. Counter-Strike uses guns and shows large amounts of blood and violence. However, he can see the same amount of gore on tv and in movies, not to mention the news and magazines. We've got 2 pimped out comps with hella ph4t internet service. WOOO HOOO THAT POST WAS FUNNY AS FuX0R! My son isn't a H4x0R, but he is one of those annoying C4P 5P4MM3R5! He thinks he is the sh1Z and posseses M4D L337 Sk1LLz, but needs a good azz whoopin', not for spending time on the c0mp, but because cap spammers are annoying. I found out he dl'd a wall haX and beat his azz. Ch33t0rz are the w0rst. My son and I spend quality time haXing it up online together. I never used to be into online gaming, but I learned L337-5p34k, and now speak his language. Remember when rock music was "evil"? Every generation has it's scape goat. I dig on the gangsta-rap he listens to, and actually bought him 3 new "electronic" music cd's for X-mas. Did I mention I am Amish?

Adequacy Are 31337 h4x0r f00lz Too, You Know... (none / 0) (#388)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:19:37 AM PST


Adeqaucy use a hacker OS!

The site is running Apache/1.3.20 (Unix) mod_perl/1.26 on FreeBSD

Even more interesting:

Current: FreeBSD Apache/1.3.20 (Unix) mod_perl/1.26 31-Aug-2001

Previous: Windows 2000 Microsoft-IIS/5.0 10-Aug-2001

Previous Before That: Linux Apache/1.3.20 (Unix) 7-Aug-2001

Stop deleting this post admins, I'll keep reposting it...

Someone quote this post to help keep it alive plz..


is this good enough? (none / 0) (#1851)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 06:33:07 AM PST
|v|00r3, |v|00r3, 5|v3 u2 |v|00r3

HAHAH hello wake up GROW BRAIN THX (0.50 / 2) (#331)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:05:57 AM PST
You my friend are either a very lame jokes person, or someone without one clue who's been played for a fool by believing someone ELSES jokes. Ok so you didn't write it, your either thinking it's funny HA HA and getting a response like this out of the net community, or you're so fuckin' dumb that you believed it when you saw it and denied your son an AMD.

Hello, AMD rocks, and YOU should live in a third world country, but they won't let you in due to your below average IQ. Yes that's right I think an ethiopian would have a higher IQ than you purely because even an ethiopian on a windup rubber band powered modem has a clue whereas your uppity dumbfuck self is so dumb that he forgets to wear a condom/withdraw/get the bitch on the pill SIX times, AND believes this trollop.

The person who said go lie on the road is right, but I personally think you should go to hell (are you a mormen?) and take your 2 wives and 6 kids with you. No wait, leave the kids because at least that hacking son has a fucking clue.

I'm laughing my ass off!!! (0.50 / 2) (#332)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:16:09 AM PST
Whoever posted this article is a real dweeb.
And the people in support of this article are real idiots too!

Hackers have been in existance since many centuries ago. The term "hacker", in this circumstance, refers to someone who likes to challenge society, in one way or another. A good example is Socrates or even Bill Gates. For some(or many) people, challenging the norms society has set out for them is a goal, and that includes teenagers, no less.

Language like "l33t hax0r" isn't just used by hackers. It is commonly used by many people on IRC(Internet Relay Chat) for fun, or just so that they will be accepted by their peers. Yes, in the past it was used mainly among hackers, sure! But these days, usage of such words has spread to non-hackers.

Techno music is related to hacking?! No, it isn't. I enjoy a wide variety of music, from genres like rap, hip hop, trance, techno, industrial, classical, heavy metal, etc. I also used to play games like Quake3. For your information, the US military uses simulation games styled after computer games like Ghost Recon, Quake3, etc. to train their soldiers. Yet, I don't think I have seen nor heard of any incidents of soldiers going on a mass killing spree, have I?

Deprivation of knowledge leads to a narrow-minded individual. A parents should expose his child to dangers and guide him , instead of blindfolding him. The world is full of dangers and ignorancy of such matters eventually results in one's downfall. On the contrary, empowering oneself with knowledge culminates in a rich, intelligent being.

To lead or to be led? Which category do you want your child to fall under?

Btw, wasn't this post from ?

WTF !!! (0.50 / 2) (#334)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:16:56 AM PST
is this a joke or not
its pretty f*cked up

AMD is made in sweatshops, i swear its tru... lol

HOLY SH*T are you sooooo st00pid????? (0.50 / 2) (#335)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:19:25 AM PST
/YO YO YO, JUST because yer kid asks fer an AMD processor, A SUPERIOR and better product than anythinhg INTEL produces IS not a reason to suspect a Hacker in your MIDST! PLEASE do not go nutty cause a child isa interested in upgrading yer POS intel chip.. Athlons work on a 200mhz bus... 2 times the intel chips AND as an expert in the field explained to me how, simply, an Athlon works VS an Intel chip is this... an INTEL chip works on a ONE way street, back and forth through an 100MHZ bus to the motherboard as opposed to an ATHLON which works on a 3 way street on a 200MHZ bus to the motherboard, please reaserch your comments BEFORE ACCUSING a HONEST company's superior product as a tool foro hacking as i know i can hack JUST AS WELL using an Intel Celeraun processor as anything that ANYONE puts out, it ISN'T the techonology it is how smart the person using it is... so don't blame the techonology for your lack of supervision as a parent..... Ya knw the assholes who raised the kids at colombine who killed all those kids "didn't know what was going on" BIG SUPRISE they did not bother to pay attention to what was happening... I am A Graduate of colombine (1989) and NOT a stupid computer user.... DON'T lay your inability to raise your children on ANYONE OR ANY COMPANY!

NOW go raise yer kids and stop whining on /anon messageboards about your ineptitude (SP) as a parent!

Scott A. Bracken

I HATE Anonomus posters, GROW SOME BALLS!

is he the one? (0.50 / 2) (#341)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:43:01 AM PST
we are the hackers. we recieved word of your site through out pearl scripts running on our linux boxes powered by AMD which we use to moniter all major communications. we have contacted your son about his actions, and are preparing to further his knowledge into the black arts. like the matrix, we search for and train children looking for the fabled one. your son is ready to begin his training, and we will contact him again. you cannot stop us.

RE: Is my son a computer hacker? (0.50 / 2) (#342)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:43:55 AM PST
After reading your editorial in what to look for in an emerging hacker, I believe that much of what you wrote is based out of assumptions.
I, for one, have asked my parents to change ISPs, upgrade our computer and played many violent games but this has not led me to become a hacker at all. In fact, I don't even know how to hack, though I do know how to program and I am in my first year in university planning to major in computer engineering. No offence, but many of these traits can guide many uneducated parents into suspicion and mistrust.

1. Changing ISP's... Every kid nowadays wants to change ISPs of course. With broadband Internet, pages load faster, kids can stream more music, talk to their friends, watch TV shows. Even my parents enjoy this new form of Internet because they can watch movies from their homeland with out having to wait or pay. The TV broadcasters put their shows up on the web after the shows been aired in that country, which makes it convenient for people like my parents to watch the shows. Changing ISPs is not bad. AOL is not the best ISPs around. With frequent disconnections and very slow speed it can be frustrating. The Internet is big now and no teenager can go without it. Schools are also using the Internet to teach, and post assignments. There are many software distributors independent of AOL, which supplies "adult content blocking programs" to download. So basically these reasons are flawed altogether.

2. Installing new programs that you may not remember may become regularity now. Teens that know how to use computers may start to download movie viewers, patches, and so on. I for instance, do most of the maintenance on this computer. My younger brother always downloads something off the Internet and installs it but it wasn't anything that would destroy the hard drive. The programs could be a school programs that their teacher has given them to finish an assignment. Installing new programs does not by any means, means that your son or I am a hacker.

3. Upgrading or installing new hardware is common these days. There is a saying "Computers go obsolete once it leaves the store." Software is moving so fast that people must upgrade their computers. Microsoft has released their new OS, Windows XP, which needs to run under a powerful system to run smoothly. Games, also take a lot of computing power too, and it is a big market for Teens. As the computer industry moves on, software will become more elaborate and the need for more memory, better video cards, and CPU will increase.
About AMD and Intel. AMD is located in America and no third world country would be making such sophisticated and expensive items such as silicon chips. Both AMD and Intel DO NOT have anti-hacking devices in them to prevent hacking. Hacking is done through software, NOT hardware.

4. Literature on hacking is availiable, which can be somewhat disappointing in some sense, but you can't base all computer books on programming as hacking manuals. If your son/daughter is interested in programming, don't immediately assume that he is a hacker. First see what he's programming first then make a judgement based on what he's programming. For instance, if the person is programming to make a dinky calculator, is he hacking? I believe not.

5. Time on the computer does not depend whether or not you¡¯re a hacker. Many businessmen spend their whole time on the computer, sending emails and replying them (which is becoming a problem in the workplace but that's another story). For all i know I spend a lot of time reading articles like this on the internet, and also to talk to my friends. This refutes what ever you say about how much time u spends on a computer. DOSing is pretty much stupid now, especially with win2k, win ME and win XP. Microsoft has got rid of the old DOS. Which means that the command prompt is literally useless. Functions like deltree or format must be done through windows.

6. Hehehe. Ah yes, let's all blame video games for all the violence in the world. I agree that games may influence one's mind into doing violent acts, but there is much more than that. There is television, music, friends, strangers, wherever you see there's violence around us. Playing quake to discuss hacking is not the only way violence will be induced. Phone, mail, e-mail, msn messaging... these all can be used. It is hard to track a hacker if you just rely on silly assumptions like this.

7. This social behaviour could be the cause of things OTHER than the computer. It could be new friends, or breaking up with old friends. Everything cannot be related to a computer. For example.. if I became angry at my mother because she threw away my homework, does that mean that I am a hacker? No, we can't assume that all hackers are mean and reclusive people. They could be ANYBODY.

8. Oy, here we go with the uneducated talk. Linux was indeed made by Linyos Torovoltos but it was made in 1994. I'm pretty sure based on history that that was a couple years after the cold war and the break up of the Soviet Union. It is an OS. Much more stable than windows and is very programmable to someone's taste. It's compatibility with other software is very limited though, so playing games like quake on the OS would be somewhat hard unless the game programmer made one that was compatible to linux. It is definitely not a hacking "program¡± and its intended use was not for hacking. It was made for beginning programmers to program an OS due to its open source code and to improve the existing code to make better OSs.

9. This change in appearance in children is due to their choice in friends, and tastes in culture (mainly pop). I don't wear my clothes because of hackers do I? Like I said hackers can be anyone. They can look like a successful businessman for all I care.

10. Academic results may or may not be an indicator. For instance, your son could be spending a lot of time on the computer because of games, not hacking. There are other factors that may bring down one's grades and by the way... "Computer radiation" is no different than the radiation coming from the TV, microwave, the stove, or the lights. If you've ever learned anything in physics class, everything emits radiation, and it does not cause schizophrenia, or any other mental disease. It could however damage the eye but that's like watching the TV up too close. Also meningitis is a disease of bacteria getting into the meningis or brain tissue causing infection. I don't think radiation and bacteria go hand in hand.

I can understand why these people on the board are flaming (making fun of) you. First, do some proper research before posting something as ridiculous as this and second, don't base any thing on assumptions. Hackers can be anybody.
I understand your concern for your children and others alike but please do some research before writing something trivial as this.

PS. sorry for the bad spelling/grammar if there is any..

Your a fucking idiot (none / 0) (#6220)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 03:01:34 PM PST
To whichever moron wrote this page. You are exactly that. I have many times upgraded my internet and my computer. AOL SUX!!!!! Comet cursor is somethign you download so you can see differnt cursors people put on there site. I Have used Linux it is not hacking software. And if i was a hacker i would hack this site and remove it fromt he internet. Man you should lighten up on your poor kids. The dress you talking about is a RAVER idiot they have nothing to do with computers. God go take a few corses before posting this crap and polluting the internet.

Now I've heard everything (0.50 / 2) (#344)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:51:21 AM PST
Congrats everyone, we are honoured to have borne witness to the most stupid person on this planet. May he rot in the burning fires of hell. This person has got some serious issues.
Gavin G

Thanyou (0.50 / 2) (#346)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:54:27 AM PST
Oh thankyou so much for the funniest read i have had today. including the twits that replied thinking it was a serious post.

you have made my day.

"Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers" bahaha *sniff* bahaha !


hahaha (1.00 / 1) (#347)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:54:29 AM PST
well thats it, timmy isn't gonna be using the computer anymore, I don't want those "veriozon" hackers influencing my son...well I gotta go, suzy wants to play with her freinds on mIRC.

HAHAHAHAHA!! (1.00 / 1) (#349)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:02:06 AM PST
Oh man... That's great! I absolutely love it... Write more! Write about how if your kid uses file sharing programs, they must be a Communist trying to overthrow the government!

Note to Parents... (1.00 / 1) (#351)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:09:32 AM PST
Please, Please, PLEASE take the time to read the replies for this "article."

It's filled to the brim with imbeciles under the impression that the author was serious. Parents must be doing a horrible job raising their kids if the morons reading this satire could believe it was sincere.

Maybe they felt the need to reply after another "ignorant adult" insulted their scripting hobbiez (since a true hacker would have the brain cells to see the joke...not that he'd be caught dead on this site). Whyever the hell this is, please use it as a reminder that computers are detrimental to your child's health.

Don't believe me?

The kids who've replied here have zero ciritical thinking skills....I doubt they'd take a clue if given away for free.

i'm a "kid" (none / 0) (#6899)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 02:44:01 PM PST
i'm 19
i am a hacker
i build computers
i write my own software
i set up networks for my friends
i maintain my girlfriend's store's computer system
i use flash
i use linux
i hate bonzi buddy
i think commet cursor is useless
i read every book in this article
i spend alot of time in IRC
i hate ignorant people like the person to whome this is a reply
i have a brain
i use logic
i saw the sarcasm and humor in the aticle
i was scared by the article also, as the vast majority will not see the sacasm or the humor
i don't think i am better than you
i bet you think i am though, and for that, you feel the need to pick at me and try to make me look bad in order to feel better about yourself
i am done with this post

Please, I can't breathe... (1.00 / 1) (#356)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:23:29 AM PST
The post was hilarious, but the comments really take the cake. My god, this must be some of the funniest shit ever. :)

lol (1.00 / 1) (#359)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:32:12 AM PST
this is funny

though a compaq???

what kind of retard buys a compaq.... all comp hackers now days build their own comps :)

/me hugs his 1.4ghz AMD!!! Athlon :)

btw.... NZ ownz Australia in the cricket!!

NZ got lucky (none / 0) (#1992)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 8th, 2001 at 04:47:39 AM PST
if it wasn't for the rain, we'd have kicked your asses.

luck had nothing to do with it..... (none / 0) (#6261)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 09:37:52 PM PST
wasnt raining on Jan 11th... or Jan 13th... chuckle chuckle

NZ man, you must be joking...... (none / 0) (#6304)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 06:30:17 AM PST
Hey Tiger,

I don't recall NZ actually winning anything apart from a meaningless one day game. We still have the trophy. Not to mention the Bledisloe, the World Cup and anything else you care to mention....

But at least your having a go now.
All Aussies appreciate that, cause it was getting a bit boring.

NZ Suck (none / 0) (#6999)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Feb 5th, 2002 at 12:48:28 AM PST
AAArgh why are you talking about cricket?

This is a joke right? (0.50 / 2) (#360)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:33:33 AM PST
If this "article" (propaganda) is meant to be the truth, then I would have to call you ignorant.

AMD makes pirate chips?

You can learn about hacking and using real life weapons in a game of Quake (ever hear of a game called SWAT? You would get a kick out of that one.) [I think you mean IRC]

I would hate to be your kids, I am sure they will grow up to be drug users due to the harsh warping you must endure.

Book banning? Im sorry, but we live in the United States of America. This means that I am free to walk into the store of my choice, pick up a copy of the Necrominicon and a pack of condoms, maybe some beer, and play some Quake on an AMD XP1900+ cpu.

You are bent, and all I can do is shudder.

You are a joke right (none / 0) (#6145)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 12:09:54 AM PST
You seriously don't get it do you!
The whole artical was a Joke and quite a good one since there seem to be so many gullible replies like yours.

oh my ignorance (1.00 / 1) (#362)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:17:47 AM PST
#1: its LINUX jack-ass, created by linus torvalds
#2: its an operating system FAR MORE secure and resource managing than yer windows platform ever thought of being
#3: AOL is the BIGGEST gate way for pedophiles and lude behavior KNOWN TO ISPS TO DATE!! my godd man you are dum dum dum!! its one big damn personals add for freaks to get laid localy, dont believe me? try it
#4 you need to spend more time reading and less time assuming, my money sez your "son" has your ass whooped intellectualy about 10 times over
#5 shut the hell up you self-righteous, ignorant waste of space

insanity!! (0.50 / 2) (#365)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:54:57 AM PST
Mr T. Reginald's something for you that i figured you would be interested..

(and if any others out there believe this, i have absolutely NOTHING to say to you...)

import //a class written for collecting input

public class Response
   public static void ispCheck()
      if(myComp.ISP != AOL)
         System.out.println("Danger! Non-AOL ISP detected. Hacker-like activity suspected.");
System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void progCheck()
      char answer;
      for(int loop = 0; loop <= myComp.numProgs; loop++)
         System.out.println("Do you remember installing this program?");
         answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
         if(answer == 'n')
            System.out.println("Danger! Unknown program!");
            System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void hardWareCheck()
      char answer;
      for(int loop = 0; loop <= myComp.numHW; loop++)
         System.out.println("Did you recently upgrade to this device?");
         answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
         if(answer == 'y')
            System.out.println("Danger! Updated hardware!");
            System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void readCheck()
      char answer;
      for(int loop = 0; loop <= myShelf.numbooks; loop++)
         System.out.println("Does this book teach you how to program?");
         answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
         if(answer == 'y')
            System.out.println("Danger! Hacking Manual (java, c or c++!");
            System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void timeCheck()
      float hours;
      System.out.println("How many hours do you spend on the computer each day?");
      hours = SavitchIn.readFloat();
      if(hours >= 5.00)
         System.out.println("Danger! Spending too much time on the computer by engaging in hacking-like activities.");
         System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void quakeCheck()
      char answer;
      System.out.println("Do you play quake?");
      answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
      if(answer == 'y')
         System.out.println("Danger! Commucating with other hackers");
         System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void behaveCheck()
      char answer;
      System.out.println("Are you argumentative?");
      answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
      if(answer == 'y')
         System.out.println("Danger! Attitude change indicates tendency towards becoming a hacker!");
         System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void linuxCheck()
      char answer;
      System.out.println("Do you use Linux (or tried to)?");
      answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
      if(answer == 'y')
         System.out.println("Danger! Linux users are potential hackers!");
         System.out.println("Good boy!");   
   public static void clothesCheck()
      char answer;
      System.out.println("Do you like baggy pants and bright colors?");
      answer = SavitchIn.readChar();
      if(answer == 'y')
         System.out.println("Danger! These clothes reflexes hacker-like personalities and tendency.");
         System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void gradeCheck()
      float gpa;
      System.out.println("Enter GPA");
      gpa = SavitchIn.readFloat();
      if(gpa < 3.0)
         System.out.println("Danger! Low GPA due to excessive hacking!");
         System.out.println("Good boy!");
   public static void main(String args[])


java Response

Danger! Non-AOL ISP detected. Hacker-like activity suspected.
Danger! Unknown program!
Danger! Updated hardware!
Danger! Hacking Manual (java, c or c++)!
Danger! Spending too much time on the computer by engaging in hacking-like activities.
Danger! Commucating with other hackers
Danger! Attitude change indicates tendency towards becoming a hacker!
Danger! Linux users are potential hackers!
Danger! These clothes reflexes hacker-like personalities and tendency
Danger! Low GPA due to excessive hacking!

looks like i am doomed to be a hacker....and maybe even land my ass in jail!? oh no...someone help me!

(just FYI..i am a CS Major at UCSD. Go figure..)


11. Speaking in tongues. (none / 0) (#426)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:03:31 AM PST
someone help me!

We would if we understood what it was you were trying to tell us.

wtf did you smoke (0.50 / 2) (#366)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:00:54 AM PST
god man you are retarded.. and when i say retarded you take the cake. Man were you born on the top of the stupid tree... then fell down and hit every branch on the way down. Ok first of all if I was on aol i would want a new isp to okay download a file at 0.33kb/s is not my thing. Second of all you smoked too much crack when you were a kid or maybe your mom dropped you a few times who knows who cares. Comet Cursor is to add stupid cursors when you surf somebody's page. Bonzai Buddy is a annoying fucking parot that talks and just fucking annoys you and sings and tells retarded jokes you may have found them funny due to your current intelligence. Flash im sure you would have thought it was a hacker program cause you didn't even know where to start to use it. Well i can see why your son wants new hardware fuck its a compaq compaqs suck... and if he is play QUAKE NO WONDER HE WANTS NEW SHIT your pc fucking sucks. Anyways AMD stands for AMERICAN MICRO DEVICES your a fool for saying that and if AMD found out what you said you can be sued for slander hope you got big bucks Mr. Mouthy. Ok your just retarded neuromancer is a fantasy book so get a life Mr. Wizard. Pearl is a programmers book fuck people in university buy it because they are STUDYING PROGRAMMING your such a fucking moron do people stick their fingers at your head and say duh empty. "If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt"
ok your just retarded there. DOS is a os but what you are talking about is d0s its the denial of service not disturbance form what one of your retarded minions of stupidity posted. It is done by sending unfinished packets so that the computer tries to process the first one but can't then tons and tons more come in and the computer just gets bogged out and either gets a famous B.S.O.D blue screen of death ... or just gets so slow you have to say wtf. Ok if I had a dad like you i woudln't just become argumentative i would take you and throw you out the window or do the world a favor and shoot you and say oops duh.Ok you must have a really crappy pc since Lunix is Little Unix for a Commador 64. It is Linux not whatever else and Mandrake Debian And Red Hat are distrubutions of linux. Ok its not a fucking hacker os since FUCKING IBM ECT... INCLUDES IT IN SERVER PCS YOU FUCKING DOLT HELLO MCFLY ANYBODY HOME? I see you read about 4 secs of the info and made the rest of the shit up. I use linux im not a hacker i just like that I can get it to do what i want it to not what Bill Gates wants it to do. ALSO LINUX AN UNIX DO NOT DESTROY YOUR HDD. It makes a linux partition knows as Linux Native you can't see it in Windows because its just too lame to include linux native file support. You just fire up your windows bootdisk then type in fdisk go to delete partitions then go to non dos and delete each one in their then go to create primary DOS partition and no your not hacking somebody moron. Then after that you format it nothing damaged on your hard drive you dont' need to get a new one. If i had to put up with your constant bullshit i would be getting in drugs to you made me want to find you and bop you in the back of your head with a ice pick. So don't be retarded don't cause mass panic linux is good secure fast sure it doens't do your crappy aol but geez your lame if you think aol is good or you just don't know how to do the same things. Somebody should just take away your internet just for the fact of publishing stupid comments and trying to pass them off as facts.

I agree with all your comments, but.... (none / 0) (#6541)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 16th, 2002 at 01:43:28 PM PST
AMD -> not AMERICAN micro devices it is ADVANCED micro devices. Just wanted to correct you. Otherwise you are right. That guy is hell retarded!

ROFL (0.50 / 2) (#367)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:38:54 AM PST
OMG what a stupid publicity stunt.
I'm speechless...

I advice u to remove this text before you get into trouble.

just have to replay to this B.S. (0.50 / 2) (#368)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:35:15 AM PST
Anybody that has anything to do with this crap posting or jokin it just simply friggin sick it is not funy
1.AMD is an American Company that makes High Quality Chips that are faster and cheaper than intel also has one of the newest High Tech factory in Dresden Germany.

2.AOL its slow it sucks and more than 20% of AOL users are gay and anyone who has AOL should change it
3.Linux is a legal,stable O.S. and not a hacker O.S.
This Idiot is a DISEASE go and drug yourself will ya. Attending teen partys with his son HaaaaHaaaaHaaaaHaaaaaaaahaaaaaaa....
Good luck to his son and the rest of the famely.

LMFAO (1.00 / 1) (#370)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:17:02 AM PST
this has to b a joke

u forgot typin in weird languages :P

j00 r da f00 /\/\3 1$ g0|\||\|4 0\/\/|\|Z0R j00, G37 4 1iF3 j00 54D /\/\0F0


Judas Priest And Dungons & Dragons (0.50 / 2) (#372)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:26:36 AM PST
This reminds me of when i was younger and my parents got the idea from some coalition of parents that I would be murdering my friends sooner or later due to the games and music that allowed me to use my imagination.

I agree that it is in the best interest of the parents to investigate their childrens activities when using a computer but many of the statements made in this article are just not true.

I would suggest for the credability of this site that the owners look into more creditable writers because I must admit this was my first visit to this site and my last.

Thanks for the Laugh (0.50 / 2) (#374)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:27:45 AM PST
Linux not

How about getting out of the house with your kid...or better yet...get your kid a computer mentor...

If your kid is that bright then a mentor with help him move his computer talents to something productive.

It is obvious you don't play quake with your kid or do you spend any time on the computer together.

Amd and hacking????? (0.50 / 2) (#376)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:28:37 AM PST
Who ever wrote this article is completely ignorant to the workings of a processor and the internet. A small suggestion to this "Model parent of the year", try educating yourself on computers and get a therapy for you're over inflated ego...........

AMD- - thirdworld ?!?! (0.50 / 2) (#377)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:29:50 AM PST
Hey you man with a foam in his head!
What you`ve written in topic 3. is the biggest bullshit I`ve ever heard!!!
Clear this post or we kick your ass!!!

Have a nice day...

GSC Faroukh

Writer under influence of electromagneticradiation (1.00 / 1) (#379)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:38:39 AM PST
You are such a big loser, seems like you wrote an online lifestory of yourself. I am the son of my dad(and mom=) an i spend about 10 hours a day with computers. I never hacked someone dut i have spikes nice colory clothes and red/yellow/black/orange/green/bleu hair.
You are a total moron, this is just waste of the internet and my bandwidth and you schould be executed.

dumb (0.50 / 2) (#380)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:39:34 AM PST
What is wrong with u, who fed u this bullshit.
1. AMD make great processors which i belive are a better cheaper solution for a budget PC user.
2. Flash is a program for making web animations not hacking, comet cursor is a mouse change thing, makes your mouse look pretty.
3.Quake is game a game fucken hell you've got some major issues man. let your kids get pissed its the only whay the will learn how to drink large amounts of alcohol like myself. your a fucken nerk man.

I hope the Lord protects us..... (0.50 / 2) (#382)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:54:56 AM PST
I hope the Lord protects us from stupid people trying to take our rights from us. The author of the article is either joking or is horribly ignorant. Before you would pose as some sort of authority on the subjects you comment on, know something.

Every computer gamer, well almost, plays Quake, a 3d first person shooter game. GAME. Every computer gamer wants a faster more powerful system, best video card, big hard drive etc... Such things are not required by hackers. Linux is simply an operating system that is more reliable than windows and is enjoying greater success by incorporation into some majot manufacturer computer systems, like IBM. And AMD is a rival to Intel, not a 3rd world CPU maker. And in most case, recently, the less expensive AMD has been better than Intel. AOL sucks as an ISP. Anything is better, especially is a dial-up modem is your only choice. There is free software all over to block and sensor your kids if you do not feel you have done a good job raising them.

You are about as Stupid as supid can be. (1.00 / 1) (#383)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:08:05 AM PST
Sir, you really need to see a shrink, you ahve some serious problems, with learning and common sense. I mean my god. 90 % of what you listed are done by ADULTS!!!.. And as for your Comments to AMD, I will be turning those over to AMD's Legal Department, AMD is a well respected company, and you are public trashing there name to give them a bad repuataion. So I hope in return they Sue the pants off you.



Yank Christians ROFL (1.00 / 1) (#384)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:10:49 AM PST
Oh American Christians really aren't very bright are you.

I could spend hours going through the fabrications, inaccuracies, lies, prejudice and downright ignorance contained in this, but it would fall on brainwashed, inbred fuckwits so I wont bother. I honestly thought that it was a spoof article at first but now I can see that you really do believe it.

No wonder terrorists hate them... (none / 0) (#6334)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 02:17:31 PM PST
Six children. I assume they're all human?

NO (none / 0) (#6992)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 3rd, 2002 at 02:02:41 AM PST
i believe one was a chimp. his side.

No no no no NO.... (none / 0) (#7164)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Mar 12th, 2002 at 05:48:51 PM PST
Please, please, PLEASE do not generalize American Christians.

I happen to be one myself... But I am ashamed to be lumped in the same category as that mass of ignorance that wrote the original article. I know very well what a computer is, how it works, and much about the various components and software that helps it tick. I try to see both sides of arguments, I try to help people when at all possible, and I am a member of a religion that encourages those traits. I do not appreciate it when people use Christianity to hide behind ignorance and closed-mindedness... And I most certainly dislike being categorized with people who do.

Thank you.


The insanity of it all (0.50 / 2) (#387)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:15:20 AM PST
First off, if you really wish to know a few facts there are divisions in what you all are refering to as hacking, namely cracking and phreaking. I am not going to go into details suffice to say the three are sufficiently different that most hackers are getting a hell of a kick of humor from this article.

Secondly, I am a hacker as defined above, I create write and maintain computer code, and yes I do have the skills to crack or phreak but I do not.

Third, I wonder how many of the people who are blind enough to believe this article would enjoy life without the skilled contribution of hackers, Lets see, how many things are dependent on either DSPs or software code... most forms of transportation in the last 5 years, Every power system in the U.S.A, most factories, any form of advanced medicine, hmm pretty much everything high tech. That is why it amused me to read this.

Ohh and if you are wondering about hackers personalities, for the most part they are intelligent, productive, people who could be a Doctor, Lawyer, Judge, Politician, etc anon and so on. Well hmm strike politician from the list I don't trust them as far as I can throw them, unlike another hacker who I would trust enough to at least turn my back on without being stabed.

HAHAHA (1.00 / 1) (#389)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:21:15 AM PST
The funniest part was if Linux is installed or if Windows is corrupted then the computer is broken! The only reason I laugh is because as a tech I see this happen in real life every day. Someone comes in and tells me they need a new hard drive.

I'm asking them why and this 30 year old proceeds to tell me that his next door neighbor's 12 year old tried to fix the problem but then finally told him that he needed a new hard drive. I don't know whether to cry or laugh.

this is the dumbest thing ever (0.50 / 2) (#390)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:24:40 AM PST
I don't know which is a deeper pit, your ignorance or your stupidity.

Plonker (0.50 / 2) (#391)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:27:07 AM PST
a)Ur obviously a yank
b)Ur probably Southern
c)Ur very "patriotic" to the point of blindness, saying AMD is inferior to intel is like saying american coffee tastes better than colombian blue.

N.B.//This is written by a British person, I have nothing against Americans as a rule, but if they're so stupid it's unbelievable, I cant stand it. At least stupid British ppl have the common sense to shut up. Lunix a hacker program? Give me a break, it's an operating system that most dedicated Internet servers use, and is designed a lot better than MSWindows, but has less industry support, and therfore more of a niche market. and a dedicated internet server, every1 uses them, not just "hackers" U fool.

Get Involved!!! (0.50 / 2) (#394)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:31:23 AM PST
Not to be rude but if you would have tried to spend time with your son instead of substituting your time for a computer you probably would not have had this problem. It is people like you who blame society for the wrong doing of children. When it is actually the family life they are being raised in. If you would have only been INVOLVED with you kids you could have seen this and stopped it. Do not blame companies for what they sell. Blame yourself for not being involved.
Check your resources buddy Intel chips and phone lines are the #1 one choices for hackers.
Intel due to compatibility and phone lines due to their slow nature are harder to detect. Besides the best hackers still use AOL as their ISP because it is the easiest one to hide in.

You people have got to be kidding.... (none / 0) (#395)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:32:20 AM PST
Must have a 10 year old coming up with these "reports". Or it a rediculous effort to twist every story that comes down the line..
You reference to AMD as being an "inferior knock off chiP"..OK, sure, then why does it outperform Intels products at the same clock speeds?...You, excuse me..there are no "security features" in the chips...
I cant stop laughing at the sheer amount of the crap in the rest of this article.....Its too funny to even comment on anymore...Its all crap....Why do you waste bandwidth on CRAP like this??? collect email addresses from poor saps who post it, then spam them?....You guys are a waste of time....

Bogus Site (0.50 / 2) (#397)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:35:30 AM PST
This guy must be on crack, that artical is completely false, AMD is not a Hacker chip, but it does out perform the INTEL chipset, Quake is not virtual reality, and just because you spend alot of time on the PC doesn't make you a hacker, a gamer most likely, but this guy needs to get his shit straight, he is the Jim Baker of hacking info

Water anb Bread as well... (0.50 / 2) (#398)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:35:50 AM PST
I figured since he missed it in his article I'd mention that studies show if children consume large quantities of Water and Bread they can become hackers as well...

I figured with the amazing amount of thought that went into that article I should complete it with more amazingly ridiculous, ZERO research, ZERO logic ideas.

Keep up the good work, goddamn this web site sucks.

[] * []

Any proof to back up your IDIOTIC statements? (0.50 / 2) (#401)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:47:44 AM PST
I laughed pretty damn hard, especially reading the part about it not being possible to remove Linux without damaging a portion of your hard drive? Where the heck do you hear this shit?

I also found it funny where you claimed the Linux was based on Xenix. Just like everything else, everything Microsoft thinks of is copied off of someone else. Microsoft are a bunch of tools, and it is sad that they are mainstream. But where is your proof that everyone who uses Linux is a hacker. Maybe they just have more intelligence than you to use a REAL operating system.

Last time I checked, AMD Manufactured most of their processors in Texas and Dresden, Germany. Since when was Germany a third world country with sweatshops. I would much rather buy a BMW than a Chevy. This is the comparison you are making. And HELL you can get that BMW (AMD) for cheaper than that chevy (intel). Are you retarded? Tell me what these "security" features that have been removed are?

And you seriously have to be kidding about AOL. It is SLOW, you get busy signals trying to connect. It is for RETARDS. Most people already realize this and only the idiots are listening to your incoherent babbling and AOLs stupid commercials. In fact, AOL is a magnet for hackers. Ive heard Hackers take advantage of AOLs free offeres to gain access to the net without being traced back to their own internet service provider. How would you like your son and daughter being on a service as insecure as AOL infiltrated by a bunch of 'unruly hackers' as you would put it.

You sir, need help.

This is the most ignorant thing I've ever read! (0.50 / 2) (#404)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:09:38 AM PST
People have to much time on their hands if they're writing crap like this.

AMD is a publicly traded company (0.50 / 2) (#406)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:39:27 AM PST
How are they third world? You do realize that AMD is FASTER THAN Intel, don't you? If you're so smart, you should read that article to see how an AMD 1.54Ghz can be faster than an Intel 1.9Ghz computer. AMD could sue you for libel, as you've presented false information in a factual manner.

Please respond, I want to know what you have to say about this.

ROFLMAO!!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#407)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:40:55 AM PST
hahaha what a piece of shit!!! AOL suxx0rs we all know that Xcept for the AOL geeks.. besides AOl is full of pr0n.. :) Linux rules... hehe this has to be the biggest joke ever probably started by an AOL employee getting paid xtra to get people on AOL.. Unix is the real OS... and LInux comes next... and Quake 0wnz too... I must be really nutz then cause I use the puter for about 7hrs a day... hehehe and thats after 8hrrs of work and school... what a 1337 HaXX0r I must be... bye...

God, how funny! (0.50 / 2) (#408)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:53:27 AM PST
I still can't get over the fact that he was serious. Bashing on "Lunix"(Linux) and AMD with those crazy claims. Dumb people suck. I feel sorry for his kids. I bet they are "church going" folk. They seem to do the most damage to their kids in the name of God and good upbringing.

Hey Dude, the earth is round! I can't wait to read that he has found porn on his son's computer!

What!!??!!! Thats just plain stupid! (0.50 / 2) (#409)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:06:43 AM PST
People that play quake, quake 2, or quake III arena, are not all hackers! that is a stupid unreasonable, unrational statment! Quake (copyright id Software) is a fun game, so what its a little on the racey side (BTW: has your son seen any vietnam war movies :P) (hey i bet that d00d dont even know what BTW means :O)... neways as for the faster vid card more RAM and a faster processer (the AMD Athalon is one the best for 3D games) and other hardware upgrades, maybe he just wants to play quake better than what a compaq can run (Dell and aleinware make the best gamers)...okay as for you Mr. parinoid dont blame quake, dont blame bill gates, dont blame the ruskies, and don't blame your son untill he mentions something abot the FCC making a house call. -MajorDick

What a maroon! (0.50 / 2) (#411)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:12:29 AM PST
It is really sad that their are people so freaking ignorant. And what makes it worse is that this one is attempting to spread his ignorance to others under the guise of protecting our children. You stupid comments about the hacker friendly AMD which is only sold through internet sites from 3rd-world countries is laughable. All you have to do is walk into a computer store to see that you are full of crap. Even major brand name computers use AMD processors. And that nugget of ignorance is only the tip of the iceberg.
Some how I doubt your son was even doing and "hacking" since you seem to define it as anything short of sitting there like a dumbass in front of the computer wondering what evils are going on inside the case.
I feel sorry that your children have to live with such a fearful ignorant father.

Wow alot of negitive comments!!! (0.50 / 2) (#413)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:19:55 AM PST
Okay i'm not going to speend anymore time on the stupid web site... i just have to say, after seeing the 300+ comments for that artical, okay i'm gona say it... ready... HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!
WOW, that guy should spend more time thinking than typing.... I mean he wrote that long of senceless artical just to be put down so very many times its just plain funny (BTW: that artical made headline on im outa here, think i'll load up q3a and do some fragging!!!! - - MajorDick

Intel Support Hackers ! ! and Terrorism ? ? ? (0.50 / 2) (#414)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:21:30 AM PST

Intel the Monopolistic Giant threats Asian and Muslim companies as routine practice.

Intel India is engaged in a monopolistic push
"Intel is engaged in a monopolistic push, with resellers being threatened with cancellation of their preferential discounts and benefits if they stock either AMD or Via CPUs."

Intel uses Local Police to Terrorize
"Intel representatives demanded that resellers from all over India to remove all VIA C3 processor marketing collateral, including retail display boxes, posters, brochures, and gift items, from their stores, or face expulsion from the company's GID (Genuine Intel Dealer) program and thus exclusion from its associated benefits."

Taipei balloon incident gets real nasty
"Over the past few weeks we have received a growing number of reports from resellers from all over India, but especially the Delhi region, saying that they have been asked by Intel representatives to remove all VIA C3 processor marketing collateral, including retail display boxes, posters, brochures, and gift items, from their stores, or face expulsion from the company's GID (Genuine Intel Dealer) program and thus exclusion from its associated benefits."
Brown confirmed allegations made by a Via distributor. "A member of the VIA marketing team was present at the incident that took place at Nehru Place in New Delhi, in which the police were requested to close down a stand that we had set up to distribute free Coca Cola to reseller delivery staff wearing VIA C3 processor T shirts as part of a promotional program. Like the balloon incident at Computex Taipei this year, this story is too surreal for anyone to make up."

Pentium III PSN help Hackers
Intel Spying ?
Intel Still Spying ??
"A privacy firm has posted a demonstration of how malicious code can steal a user's Pentium III serial number without the user's knowledge, and its demonstration program is now being targeted by Intel and Symantec."
Intel Settle to avoid Monolopy Suit
Intel Settles to avoid Monolopy Suit
Intel Weasel out of Lawsuit in Settlement to Avoid being Declare Monopoly and Intel is Anti-American Small Business
"the FTC accused Intel of depriving its smaller customers of one of their chief assets--intellectual property rights that could be used as leverage when negotiating with Intel. Intel was able to take such action by threatening to withhold technical information customers needed to build their products unless they entered into royalty-free cross-licenses, the FTC alleged. "

China Restrict Intel Pentium III do to Security Concern and Intel Hackable Processor
"Chinese Government Restricts Sale of Pentium III because of Security Concerns. Chinese government officials have restricted the sale and distribution of Pentium III microprocessors out of concern for national security. The Chinese government has ordered domestic manufacturers to turn off the PSN, and has ordered government agencies not to connect Pentium IIIs to the Internet"

Restriction on Pentium III do to PSN enabling Computers to be Hacked
Intel still being a Weasel. "Zero-Knowledge Systems Finds Another Hole in Intel PSN Patch. After Intel asked Symantec to create software that dealt with the ZKS hack, ZKS claims that the PSN can still be exposed without resetting the computer. Some of Intel's Pentium II and Celeron processors have Processor Serial Number switched on. Intel admitted March 10 that some Pentium II chips contain the Pentium Serial Number, not just Pentium IIIs as previously announced. Certain mobile Pentium IIs with on-board cache are also badged under Intel's Celeron label."

Intel Goal Spy on Americans and Competators
"Privacy and consumer rights groups are up in arms over the new feature, which they say can provide an easy way for unscrupulous marketers and hackers to track users based on their surfing habits. Some groups have called for a boycott of Intel, while others, including the Center for Democracy and Technology, the ACLU, and the Electronic Privacy Information Center, are meeting with the FTC to pursue an investigation into the serial code."
Truth can not be hidden by falsehood
This is only to inform the readers of what is really happen and to correct any misconceptions of AMD. AMD is an American company that focuses on what Americans want for products. While Intel focus on trying to manipulates and threatens Americans and Non-Americans if the do not buy their products. Also to inform about the inadequacy of the information quoted
3. Has your child asked for new hardware? Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer. If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.
AMD is an american company that produces the most advance microprocess in the world. Why does it takes a Intel processor that needs to be overclocked by 500Mhz+ in order to compete on a performace level of AMD. AMD supports educating American People with honesty and truth while Intel relies on Americans being dumb morons. If the processor was the center of the digital world as Intel quotes than why do you need a video card, or memory, or hard drive in you computer.

Another not Linux is not an hacker os. Linux is a developer OS that allows software developers to design the Operating System to meet their needs. Linux allow Companies to build more security and stop real hackers from hacking in to crucial systems. Windows is really the hackers paradise. Microsoft Windows allow people to easily learn how to hack becuase ActiveX, Visual Basic Script, and Microsoft Macros allow users to get to personal information. These tools are mostly built into Windows. Microsoft is on a weekly basis if not bi-weekly have security patches updates. One reason is Microsoft goal is to be able to gather info on customers in order to beat competators in selling markets.

I have had windows 95 and 98 crash hard and the only way to fix was to reformat drive and load according to windows experts.
I have loaded linux on several computers not a problem. I run linux and windows on same hard drive not problem. Linux more friendlier to install than windows. Windows have a tendency to hammer hard drives or sound cards. Linux has never crashed on loading or after running on computers. Windows will crash on computers with built in sound cards. Usally have to disable sound card before installing windows.

Microsoft is right now defing the government because Microsoft thinks they are more powerful than the government and will crush any american that stands in their way for owning a monopoly.

I know most people will argee this veiw since most people are either living an illusion or brainwatched by Intel/Micorsoft. I know that this my get taken down by Intel or Microsoft threatening site monitor or Monitor does not like the truth. My belief is that anyone you flames or takes down this truth about Intel lives in a illusion and america is doomed to fall. I hope that the truth will be heard and there may be hope for America.
A concern American who grow up with Computers and family of Computers Users and Programmers. A concern American who has a degree in Electrical Engineering Specialized in Microprocessor Architecture and a degree in Software Engineering.

Huh hih heh! (none / 0) (#415)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:23:59 AM PST
Ok.. the article is funny.. but even funnier are the comments of people who actually think anything in article is meant sirious. That should be clear to anyone even if he read only first paragraph. (Teen parties without alcohol? lol?)
If any parent believes in this utopia.. let me know, I'll laugh some more...

ROFLMAO (0.50 / 2) (#416)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:25:33 AM PST
oh my fucking god, what a retard you really are...

Interesting (0.50 / 2) (#417)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:31:28 AM PST
This guy obviously has no idea what he is talking about, 1. hackers hack with a mac, haven't you ever seen the movie Hackers? 2. We can hack your BLT drive with ease, because your security guard told me the telephone number, which i have done before. See, don't fuck with us, or we'll get you. I am a true hacker, your son was not, no hackers use comet cursor, and the only flash i do is in front of your mom. l8r moron.

ROFLMFAO (0.50 / 2) (#418)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:32:42 AM PST
you fcking fools, for a start that was mainly bullshit, ie:

Perl is a type of computer programming

Quake 1, 2, and 3 and all other games which are similar, are NOT meeting places for fcking hackers, just gamers who like killing games to release anger, and if there are any hackers they must only do it for some kind of fun anyway

linux is actually an operating system used by more advanced users


on that note, amd are a good choice in processors, new graphics cards are needed in order to speed up gaming, as is a new ISP, or even broadband, just to improve playability on games

and on a final note, you must all be very stupid, very narrow minded people, who should perhaps try to understand that perhaps, the graphics

this article is stupid (0.50 / 2) (#419)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:34:09 AM PST
this article is the biggest load of crap i have ever had to lay my eyes on, using an AMD proccessor means your a hacker? then half the computer enthusiasts out there are hackers, this guy has obliviously no knowledge of computers whatso ever!! i hope that no one ever reads this article agian and if i ever met this guy id prob have to remove his computer from him for being such a moron.

THIS MAN´S CRAZY!!!!!!!!!AND IDIOT TOO!!!!!!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#421)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:41:10 AM PST
When I first read this,I thought it was a joke,this was imposible to be real.I thought men were more intelligent than other animals,but this one is sillier than a stone.
The way he talks about AMD is fucking idiot.AMD is American and also in my opinion the best microprocesors maker in the world.Linux is the best operating system and not the crap that windows is.
I could comment this article for a long time,but I think is not worth to do that.I will instead write my conclusion.
I don´t know what is about, but it shouldn´t be allowed to promote this kind of intolerance,misinformation.This man is a dictator,intolerant,worse than a nazi and the stupidest person in the world.
Sorry if my english is not good enough to express what I think.I´m from Spain(is in Europe,for people like this man who doesn´t know the world where they live) and my English is not perfect

Spain? (none / 0) (#6297)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 04:53:12 AM PST
Don't you have a sense of humour in Spain then?

I think you should Look at it this way.... (0.50 / 2) (#422)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:46:51 AM PST
To start off, Quake is a game, it used only for fun with friends over something we like to call the "internet"....Gaming and Hacking Is VERY diffrent.
The Last thing A hacker will ask for is a new "videocard" or a processer from "amd", that is GAMING hardware. Gaming is like playing "freeze tag" in 3d with your friends, this doesn't represent any hacking skillz.
Linux Is simply an alternate operating system to windows, You don't know it but the vast majority of web servers(the things you dial up to) run linux, It is far more streamlined then the microsoft operating systems in this application.
Hacking Is the modifycation of software to serve an alternate application, such as disabling the time limit on demo software.
Cracking Is the long process of finding passwords, breaking security systems and forging computer I.D.
While threatening these may seem, Only A small amount of these hackers, and crackers, actually do any harm to anything. Most of the fellas I know sit in there basement for hours and hours trying to break there own security. Like some people get their kicks out of word descrambling puzzles.
If you do not wish your children to get into this kind of activity, you need to look for the actuall Tools that the use. Like Nukers, tracers,
Advanced hex-editers, brute forcers, Decypher programs, and virus sourse code.
Oh and the new isp thing.....AoL Is not a well traveled isp due to it's slow nature, Privacy Violations( I can moniter your internet traffic, and email from Aol Sitting here Right now) And the Nasty software package.
The nicer internet service will be from High band, (dsl or Cable) This is for GAMING really, because It makes your preformence online much faster, and therefor more competive.

Games are good, Hacking is
only bad when an unethical
"NOOB" Finds some toolz

The sky is falling the sky is falling! (0.50 / 2) (#423)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:47:51 AM PST
Please, stop posting FUD for Microsoft. I am offended that you can't even
spell LINUX correctly. Frankly, I think you work for Microsoft and you are simply
trying to scare parents out of letting children use the ONLY free OS out there.
If you don't know what you are talking about - the keep your mouth shut.
Go back to censoring your childrens' CD collection and make sure they grow
up to be abusive jocks (who drink and smoke when you and the coach aren't
looking by the way) - but stay away from Linux.

I don't worry (0.50 / 2) (#424)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:49:05 AM PST
There's two solutions:
-the original posters was joking, and then must be rolling on the floor laughing
-if it was an american, it is one of those that make think foreign people (I not american) that american are stupid (maybe watching too much television)

This post make me laugh, and I don't think that hackers have to worry if everybody think the same, but all the kids that want to learn more about computer (and earning more money later by working in a big compagny, maybe earning more that this person? =) have to worry.

Just for information, Quake is history, they all play Counter Strike (oh my god! talibans!!, RoFL), plus you don't speak into these kind of game, this is not a forum or a chat room, you read the newspaper sometimes...

To conclude it makes me proud not being american (since I think this person is american), no offense for the other. But now I know why the death penalty still exist...

I see a few of your points (0.50 / 2) (#437)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:53:38 AM PST
about hacking and keeping locks on you guns. However, perhaps you should take your son in for counseling. His for getting him to know that hacking is illegal and wrong and for you and you paranoia.
Linux is a legitimate alternative for Windows,
changing how you dress is not a sign of a hacker,
becoming "argumentative" is also not a sign of a hacker (its a sign of a teenager who's trying to expand his/her independance),
failing in school is more of a problem with making new friends who takes-up more of his/her time (usually its a drug-related problem or a bully at school who just won't leave your child alone),
Quake is not the hacker-maker you say it is,
wanting new hardware is common (if you have a crappy computer then you should expect your children to complain),
computers are addictive (spending more time on one is not a sign of a hacker. I am using mine more and more often and I've never even tried to hack anything),
new programs are released everyday (get used to it),
and <b>wanting to change ISP's is due to getting himself/herself banned from game servers due to his/her cheating or being an ass while playing(don't make the change, make him/her suffer for messing-up everyone's game by being the aforementioned "ass").</b>

That is all.

hackers????? (0.50 / 2) (#438)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:53:55 AM PST
There are many falicies with your article sir. First of all, I can tell you that Bonzai Buddy is not hacker material. Second, hackers do not tend to dress in bright colors, baggy pants, carry glow-sticks, and wear pacifiers. This is the typical clothing of "raver culture" If your son is dressing like this, then you should look into his drug use and not his hacking capabilities. The pacifiers are used by someone on extacy because the drug makes your mouth chatter. Since you can't feel your mouth, users tend to chomp down on their mouth causing sores and blisters. The pacifier keeps them from chewing on the sides of their cheeks. The glow sticks enhance their "roll" or the feeling that they are on when they take the drug. Sir, you need to get a clue as to what is going on in the world. This was the most ridiculous article that I have read. if you are going to look for wrongdoing, check into his drug use. The signs you gave were signs of a drug user and not a hacker (for the most part). Look for different colored asprin sized pills. They range from blue to red to green to yellow to purple. Some are plain white, some are white with spots. Brown spots are known as "dirty pills" and may contain heroin. Pills tend to have a line going through the center of one side much like an asprin. On the other side will be a stamped shape, such as a diamond, a number, a cloud, a superman logo, a clover, a smiley face. Some may even be blank to give he appearance of an asprin. The different colors often give the appearance of a vitamin. If the symptoms you describe are of your son, then you need to look for this and not hacker manuals. You can save his life. Trust me, I know from former experience.

Fucking Moron (0.50 / 2) (#440)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:55:51 AM PST
YOu fucking asshole. Im far from a h4x0r, and i asked my parents to switch isps, i went from dial-up to adsl... I also use "Lunix" (just incase you're a deadbeat dad, and dont know that it's spelled Linux and not Lunix, i'll just say Lunix for a moron like you. wanna talk to me?
email me:
Comet Cursor hacking for life!

T Reginald Gibbons missed own errors (0.50 / 2) (#443)
by josephbbl on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:09:13 AM PST
1. TRG: "AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops..."

Fact: Jerry Sanders, the American CEO and founder of AMD in 1969, came from Fairchild Inc., which spawned many prominent semiconductor companies, including INTEL!

Fact: AMD's Fab 35 is in Dresden, Germany, and was awarded 2001 Fab of the Year. Fab 35 is considered one of the most advanced Fabs in the world.

Fact: AMD in conjunction with Fujitsu-Siemens, produce flash memory, which accounts for about 50% of AMD's overall revenue.

(Last I knew, Germany and Japan are not third world countries.)

2. TRG: "..we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with..."

Fact: December 11, 2001--PC Magazine (issue 21) awarded a Compaq Presario 8000Z "System of the Year" for desktop featuring an AMD Athlon XP processor.

(I wonder if TRG knew if he bought his children the best Compaq PC desktop in the market today)

3. TRG: "You could say I'm a model parent...but Carol advised me to calm down.."

(I certainly hope TRG is emotionally stable, and not a typical American parent)

stupidity amazes me (0.00 / 2) (#444)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:10:21 AM PST

You are a morose ignorant blundering sow. Your father is heap of parnet dropings. Your mother is grubby used car sales man. I hope the bird of paridise flies up your ass.

Listening to your incessant bantering I became enlightened by your stupidity. You constant ramblings on nothing and your lack of current information prove to me that you are incompetant of performing thoses duties which are perfunctory of parents. children do not have the choice of which parents they have when they are born. I feel sorry for your child and your shortcomings as a competant adult.

I hope in your witch hunt of hackers you get to meet a real one and they steal you identity so that you can see what its like to be a minority or a martyr. (SALEM WITCH TRIALS, SCARLET LETTER, GREAT EXPECTIONS, FARENHEIT 451, NECRONOMICON, SATANISM, INCOMPETANCE,, BILL AND TEDS EXCELLENT ADVENTURE.)



Total and Complete Ignorance (0.50 / 2) (#445)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:10:41 AM PST
You know with folks like you in existance it is a wonder that America is still as strong a nation as she is today. All you and the folks that host this website care about is mindless conformity and the wherewithal to cut your lawns in your white-only neighborhoods and stuff some body else's wallet because of your stupdity and lack of vision to merely do something original yourself. America, as a nation was built upon the diversity of her citizens and that remains just (if not more) as important today. Your articles are totally ignorant of any facts. Case in point AMD is a third-world company. I guess that ticker on the NASDAQ is fake and the fact that the company started in austin texas is fake as well? You folks have to wake up and smell the shit that you shovel. Your mindless actions and words are poisoning other people that are also stupid enough to listen to you. I just hope that your kids are smarter than you are, or even better that you can never breed. Our gene pool does not need you stupdity and close-mindedness in it anywhere. Furthmore your article on hacking illustrates fully how terrible of a parent you are, and that you are covering your failings by blaming it on hacking.

SUPERB (none / 0) (#446)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:15:16 AM PST
This is the most amusing thing ive read on this here 'internet' for ages.

Im not sure what was funnier - the original article, or the reaction of all the idiots who thought it was real

quite superb, kudos to you sir.

ditto (none / 0) (#706)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:06:14 PM PST
i must echo the comments of the above individual. amazing stuff and even more amazing stupidity from the great numbers of people who responded so negatively to the article. awesome job, Gibbons!

Well nice to see a parent with concern (0.50 / 2) (#447)
by MrLuders on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:21:45 AM PST
It is good to see someone watches there kids for once. But you need help. You are off the deep end. Quake a training ground for hackers. Uhm..ok Sure.

Quake teaching firearms. That will be the day. "SON WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO SHOOT" "SIR BY PLAYING QUAKE SIR" Never gonna happen.

AMD 3rd world country...uhm..i live close to them and I'm in california.

Intel processors prevent hacking...SCINCE WHEN.

Lunix to linix. hhmmm

I'm laughing so hard reading this it can't be real.

Does your kid get beaten at school (0.50 / 2) (#448)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:26:50 AM PST
With parenting like that. You got the kid that just got his rear end kicked on a daily basis. LOL

Uhmm.... (0.50 / 2) (#449)
by silygurl on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:39:57 AM PST
I'd like to point out that this paragraph below...

"If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences."

This does not describe a hacker, this describes a raver. Someone who goes to underground "parties" that involve techno music, and a lot drugs. If you're describing your son in this paragraph, maybe your concern isn't him being a hacker, maybe your concern should be what exactly is he doing at those parties. Although some go for the music, a lot of "followers" go for the drugs. For reference, none of these "ravers" ever just carry glow sticks around like a key chain. They are used in black light or dark settings for these parties. As they provide for pretty trails when waved around for those using drugs to enhance their experience. For reference, those pacifiers you had no idea what they were for? They're for people taking the drug ecstacy. See ecstacy has a nasty lil side effect that includes grinding your teeth. The kids that wear the pacifiers generally are using them for something to grind their teeth with. While some use it for a new fashion trend. In my opinion when these parties first started, people went for the music, not for the drugs, but as mainstream catches on, and people want to be cool, these silly trends pick up.
I highly recommend doing a bit more research before you give numbered steps as to how to describe a hacker. Because you haven't, I have hacker friends, and none of which do any or show any signs that you have stated here. Quake for example is a game, that kids play online. While maybe some might go there as a meeting place, the game is not a prerequisite for hacker 101. The beauty of being a hacker, is that there isn't a common way to tell, because the term hacker itself, should tell you, that they're sneaky enough to not get caught, or be noticed. There are programs on the web that restrict where your kids go, maybe using that might help you. In the meantime, describing kids who go to rave parties is not going to determine who's a hacker or not.

egor66 >>H3lp Ï hÂv3 Â ¼ hÂck3 ® Ïn th3 hØüs (0.50 / 2) (#450)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:43:49 AM PST
1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs? well no but I have :Þ2.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing? hmm there vuri aint thay ?

3. Has your child asked for new hardware? yep wants a new 32tnt card for the XP box, hmm a big give away that one !!

4. Does your child read hacking manuals? no but I would be happy if I could get him to read anything at all !!

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? hey if he's not playing ball he's on the puter, yep another big give away

6. Does your son use Quake? well he use to, then UT, then Fifa etc, now Harry Potter so guess I'm ok on that one so

7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour? no he was always like that !!

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? with w00t ?¿?¿

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance? well now that I think of it he aint in shorts any more so would have to yes to that one too

10. Is your son struggling academically? no he uses lots on software (err all legal)

well well seems like I have a hacker in the house, cool carry on the family tradition.

OMG this is some funny stuff (0.50 / 2) (#452)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:46:17 AM PST
if this was written as a serious artcile, i would hate to be that kid. and the wonderful world of quake. omg, quake is so real :rolleyes: try counterstrike if you want reality. that game trains you to be a terrorist by holding hostages and planting bombs :rolleyes: this is the funniest thing i've read in a long time.

Twat (0.50 / 2) (#455)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:52:29 AM PST
This article sounds like a post from Microsoft/Intel to make us use XP and the new range of Intel chips.


What the hell!! (0.50 / 2) (#459)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:06:22 PM PST
Ok, lets think about it!
Ready? Ok - First Quake and Hacking? What are you talking about! I play Quake3 on net since the release date! Never heard of those tools!
- Ask for new Hardware?! Some kids just like to play games!
- Linux is cool! I love it! You can learn more about your computer and how it works,more than with any other system!
- AMD?! Look, just one or two years ago an AMD was faster then a P3!
- Hacker manuals?! You can learn to save your PC or to understood how some things work! Hey life is a survival training!

Hey man, stop talking now!
I think you want us back to the good old times?
Information is necessary to survive!

Most of your arguments describe my way of life! But "I'm not a hacker" if I were one I would say "hack the planet" *g*

Sorry for my bad english! P.S. Can somebody close this forum?!

Dear sweet god... (0.50 / 2) (#461)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 12:09:11 PM PST
How stupid is this man? I mean I think he might actually lose the 200 points you are automatically given on an SAT test for spelling your name correctly. This man is a total buffoon. To say that AMD processors are inferior and knock offs of Intel chips is rediculious. Someone should go tell HP and Compaq that they are dealing with a 3rd world company then since they have been using AMD's chips for years. And why does this moron define AMD as a 3rd world company anyway? Is it because AMD's chips are made in east Asia, which they are? Well if it is then someone should hit this man with a very large heavy blunt instrument since Intel has been using Asian countries to produce their chips for decades! Also, this dimwit doesn't realize that you can't use a child when producing micro processors since machines produce about 99.99% of the entire product. And the ISP switching! Dear sweet holy s**t. Oh I'm sorry I was unaware that a law had been passed requiring all people under the age of 21 to use the worlds worst ISP. If you this ludite doesn't remeber a few years back what happened to AOL with the 2 hour logon times then he most likely has had a labotomy or has had some sort of head trauma, because AOL hasn't gotten any better. they still have the longest logon times, they still have the slowest download speeds. AND THE ADUALT FILTER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That thing couldn't filter out a Chevy Suburban let alone a porn website. Now I am just stupified by how ignorant this guy is, "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". If that isn't the biggest load of c**p I have ever heard I'm not sure what could possible beat it. Comet Cursor (and I am now speaking directly to the idiot) is a simple little piece of software that changes what your cursor looks like when you are on webpages that also have that software, Bonzi buddy is just a chat program, and if you don't know what flash is then stop reading this message turn off your computer and go get yourself an abacus because you are way to stupid to be using the computer you are reading this message off of.
And hacking manuals are like car manuals you twit. Should I go over to your house bust the window in your car and take yours out of your glove compartment? Well should I? OF COURSE NOT YOU TROGLADITE! How in god's name do you think that every computer engineer in the world learned how to operate, created, and use computer's and software. "Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers". I'm going to try to stay composed after reading that tripe. So when you play black jack or solitaire should I call DCYF and have them take your kids away because you obviously have a closet gambling problem and your are defintely not fit to raise children. Ok you dolt,becomeing arguementative and acting "surly" is part of growing up for a male. If he doesn't act that way then you should damn well have him examined because their is osmething wrong with him. Ok once again I am going to try and stay calm. Ahem, Linux is not illegal you toothless hick boob. It is freeware so it can't be illegal and it is actually the most popular server operating system in the world. If you walked into IBM, Oracle, Compaq, Dell, Gateway, after hitting your face on the front door because your obviously to stupid to know how to operate one and asked what OS are your servers running they would all say Unix, or Linux because Microsoft's server OS is a joke compared to Linux and Unix and if your son wants to learn how to use it at home, well guess what he may have a future running those servers making more money in 1 year than you make in 10. The dressiing up part is ludicrous. If you actually paid attention in history class when you were growing up you would have learned that cave men wore a piece of sheep skin over their crotch. So by your inflection we should still be doing that because their children should have never tried to change the way they look since that is considered by you to be a bad thing. It's called evolution of culture you creton. And finally just because your son is doing badly in school doesn't mean jack squat. Bill Gates sucked in school now he's the richest man in the world, Einstien sucked in school he developed the means to get power that you are reading this message on your computer with. Oh and according to your theories both of them were hackers too.

P.S. Please try to grow a brain before you open your mouth or I'll be forced to fill it with your foot again.

LOL (laughing out loud) for those who don't know (1.00 / 1) (#464)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:02:13 PM PST
I think your article is a load of rubbish, this is because u don't have a clue about the internet and techno music... these are MP3's u idiot!

music that people can listen to!

'LOL'... (none / 0) (#953)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 07:39:15 AM PST AOL slang for Love Online, just as 'techno' is AOL slang for 'retarded disco music for retarded disco people', and as an AOL customer, the author would definitely know what it means. Just because people don't talk 'cRaZ33 lI3k u' does not mean that they are not intelligent.

lolol (none / 0) (#6900)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jan 24th, 2002 at 02:56:38 PM PST
lol means laughing out loud
rofl means rolling on floor laughing
stfu means shut the f*ck up
rtfm means read the f*cking manual


i was ROFL after reading this article. some people should STFU about computers at least until they take the time to RTFM and realize how it works. LOL

um......... (1.00 / 1) (#465)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:02:17 PM PST
Am I the only person who see's that this is just a joke? I was laughing all the way through, not at the person who had written it, but with te person who'd written it. Makes me wonder about the IQ of all the people who've called him a moron...


( )

easy joke (none / 0) (#6993)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 3rd, 2002 at 02:09:29 AM PST
But, how many people will think its real and actually listen to it? As we see, there are plenty of morons to go around.


THANKYOU! (none / 0) (#6996)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Feb 4th, 2002 at 02:50:16 AM PST
I know it's useless to bother saying anything after all the things that have already been written, and that nobody in their right minds could possibly read this comment considering all the thousands of others, but thankyou for pointing out what nobody else seems to get. I originally heard about this in the newspaper, and then on a few forums, and everybody thought it was real. It wasn't until I got to read the actual original that I could see it was a very funny fake written by a very funny person. Anyone who can't see that is a toss.

HAHAH ROFLMAO (0.50 / 2) (#467)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:26:14 PM PST
honestly, your kids are the kind of person that i see "killing" themself for having such parents limiting their freedom, having an eye on every fkin piece of paper they make, no but really, I mean I readed your whole article, let me point some stuff:

1. I use myself more then 30mins the computer a day, a couple of hours I could say, and I never hacked of my life(eventhough I know what hackers are pretty much..)

Does this make me a hacker?

2. I played quake for years, but quake is a popular shooting game, a lot of peoples may use HACK for the game, but someone hacking in that game cannot be considered a real "hackers", if you would be part of that "community" you may understand, but seeing you are a retard, I doubt you will ever understand.

3. I myself asked my parents for a faster computer with more memory and a better video card, to simply play game as quake and counter-strike, and the coming warcraft III that need a VERY FAST video card, and a lot of memory to have a minimum of quality in my game, if your computer keep freezing, or fucking up it's quite boring to play games..

4. Asking for a change of ISP, no wonder he asked for a change, as AOL IS THE CRAPPEST ISP SERVER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD "SPEED-WISE" EVER. I changed at least 5 times in 5 years ISP, the first one was often down and crap, the second time was because I had found a better ISP, and it costed less money, the third time was because I wanted to have cable, to play games such as quake and counter-strike with a better quality(ping) or download mp3, or anything in that kind a lot faster, then I changed cable company again because they had a poor service to the client on phone.

5. Linux(or Lunix in your word) is a program used by a few hackers, but a lots of hacker can use different OS still, even without Linux, they still could easily do it, Linux is a good OS for running server, and protection from any kind of nuke/hack/virus attacks, whatever, it run faster and better, the only disadvantage with linux is that it is very hard to find compatible programs(so then hacking program are harder to find)

6. Html, HTML are used to do webpage, So then, I made about 10 pagesweb in my life, concerning a few games(Brood war, quake2) to make tournament, or update clan pages(A CLAN OF A GAME) I'm then considered a hacker? Not really. Retard.

so in short, you are a very bad parent eventhough you seem to want the "good" for them, you are a utter wanker and retard that has absolutely no logic, knowledge and competence to be a parent, Give your kids some freedom, if you don't want them to kill themself soon or later when they grow, as they will be lost from the real life, because of YOUR retardness, if you have some kids that are still young, don't do the same error, and a hacker isn't necessarily a "FBI or NASA hacker", and on a last note, crack aren't hack, it's to use programs for free, that sometimes can be bought, sometimes they can't, ie: if you don't have money, and want that program, you download it and use a crack to use it freely, or you don't want to purchase a program with your credit card as you are afraid from hacker, you download it and crack it.

Hopefully you've understand what I mean:

Your kids are away from the "real lfe", have a higher chance to attempt to kill themself, because they were sooooooo much keep in ignorance, and their parents was way too near of them, limiting their freedom...

-A kid, with a lot of freedom, very "model" for a parent, that never touched drugs or smokes, and doing well at school with a girlfriend, using my computer hours per day and writing English as his third language.

Very interesting look (1.00 / 1) (#468)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:28:07 PM PST
AMD is the maker of the most advanced micro proccessors available today. They are all made by very advanced factories in places like Dresdan, and germany. They have no effect on security, since it is a hardware device, not software. I personally think you are a fucking idiot. You should go fuck yourself with a pine tree. You spread rumors and know nothing about computers. The tight control you have on your children is damaging them mentally. You should smack your ignorant daughter. The only reason she called your son a hacker is becuse she wanted her time on the computer to look at gay pornoggraphy. She probably visits the same sites as your cheating wife does. You are one stupid cunt, it is people like you that voted George Bush. Folks like you disgust me, but not as much as your skanky wife did last night. Go give yourself a hummer you bastard!

Chill Beavis... (none / 0) (#6025)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 01:46:19 AM PST
Dude. Chill that shit out. Seriously. Talking like that only makes you look as STUPID as the individual that wrote this article...

Let's be intelligent about this at least.. Let's just get straight to the point and just tell him without delay that he's a STUPID FUCK who knows LESS THAN SHIT about computers...or H4X0RING.

Re: Is your son a computer hacker (0.50 / 2) (#470)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:38:17 PM PST
Perhaps you should learn a bit more about computers before making stupid posts like this one.

I am 15 years old and i live on my computer 4-14 hours a day; i know i shouldnt but there isnt anything else to do (dont tell me that im a teenager and there are other things to do cuz there isnt anything that interests me)

i have done some minor hacking, mostly to people who piss me off, or when im extremely bored; some discrepancies in your post i found:

1. hardware doesnt do anything..just cuz you ask for hardware most certainly does not imply that you are a hacker of any sort

2. its "Linux" and it is NOT a hacking program. Yes, it is the most popular OS used for hacking BUT it is also the most popular OS used on webservers and servers of nearly any type you can think of; it also is NOT illegal, but is an open-source operating system which any user can get for free off the internet (except if people have modified large portions and want to sell it) and can modify it to suit their needs

3. telnet can also be used for hacking but is not limited to that...i have used it to control my IRC (internet relay chat) bot which controls my channels for me...i dont roam around the internet looking to raise hell (usually) and if i were telnet definately wouldnt be the 1st thing id turn to (but it is a major tool)

4. changing appearance also is not an indication of being a hacker...i dont dress any differently then most people my seem to be going after what you would consider to be the "stereotypical hacker" (which in most cases is nonexistent)

5. reading "hacking manuals"...i can download them as a text file and save them somewhere way in the back of the computer as some strange file extension and you could never find it...there are few books that are written for hacking, which give comprehensive instruction on how to hack

6. on a final note, about changing ISPs: AOL is one of the WORST ISPs there is-theyre slow, most of the usernames are taken, and you get booted often. changing ISP is also no indication that you are a hacker

clearly you have many discrepancies in your post; i would recomend that you better research such topics before posting this s***

dont tell me im wrong either because i have done what you describe, and know far more about it then you

More Evidence of the Truth (none / 0) (#745)
by MessiahWWKD on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:19:15 PM PST
dont tell me im wrong either because i have done what you describe, and know far more about it then you

Yes, you have done everything the writer of the article said a hacker would do, and you even stated that you are a hacker. 'Nuff said.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

Re: Is your son a computer hacker (none / 0) (#893)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 04:21:58 AM PST
I am 15 years old and i live on my computer 4-14 hours a day

We can tell. Please stop trying to hack the Adequacy.

Oh deary me. (0.50 / 2) (#473)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:56:52 PM PST
I do worry that the views of other parents nowadays are so strict. YES "Hacking" (in the modern, media hyped sense of the word) is illegal; it is defined by law as "Cyber terrorism".

As any person ,who actually is aware of the ethics that do rule those who understand what they are doing, will tell you, Hacking is a mental challenge, no "Script kiddie" as this so called "informative piece" describes poses a threat until the programs that they use to point and click become available to themselves and the "general public".

As to the "does your child read 'Hacking manuals'", SURELY we should be encouraging our children to read!! For anybody who has ever read a "Hacking Manual" by any respectable "Clan" or group should see that, for the most part, they do involve the use of ones brain.

For your information, DOS stands for Disk Operating System. DoS stands for Denial of service, which unless you subscribe to a broadband connection will not be of minute threat to anything other than the smallest of modem users. And even if they have a broad band connection, it would take them some time to actually affect a user. (Unless they decide to co-operate with others in order to "act", surely that is use of intellect, if not somewhat mis-guided!)

The time your child needs to use the computer for is their business, if they are doing school work which takes up an awful lot of their time, my nephew for one spends hours typing up essays, he isn't trying to "deface" or "Hack" with other script kiddies, he's too mature for that, and he knows he can use my systems to learn on.


Any child with intelligence enough to rise above script kiddie hood will certainly NOT have poor social skills; if they did, nobody they approach to learn from would have any time for them what so ever!!
Sensible Questions get Sensible Answers. "Script Kiddies" get nothing.


If your Child can use Linux they should be encouraged, it promotes free thinking, and even you, as a parent may like it.

I am amazed that your article is not considered Slander from the things you write. evidently, NO background has been done into it, the geniuses name, is LINUS TORVALDS, not Torovoltos.

If you child has installed LINUX or a variant onto your PC without asking permission that is up to you to punish. LINUX IS LESS DANGEROUS TO USE THAT WINDOWS.
And no, installing Linux does NOT damage your computer. It is JUST as easy for a careless windows user to cause the same errors that a Linux user does, Linux is far safer towards your system than MS Windows.
Telnet has been around for many many years, and was NOT programmed by Linus Torvalds.
You do NOT have to take your computer "back to the manufacturer" is they install LILO, LILO is a boot loader, (The Linux Loader), if your "Child" can install Linux (or a variant) then the likely hood is you can save far more money by getting them to do your Hardware and software support than by getting a so called "professional" in, you may even get a smile and a "thank you" for your SUPPORT of him or her.

"Script kiddies" (do you think im trying to make a point here?) MAY follow trends, no "Hacker" with self respect EVER feels subject to "trends"...they do what they want to because it's their life. IF your child is dressing in the manner described (and I would somewhat question Parental skills if they are) then so be it, they are still your offspring.

And now for one of my MAJOR points...Oh yes, they get bigger than those previous.

HOW, HOW and HOW!!! Can you link "computer radiation" with the diseases above? IF you can show me substantial Medical proof, which I will have a qualified Doctor look over, that there are links to those disorders listed, then I may give it some "airtime" in my head.

IF you son/daughter is "learning to Hack", and is not associating with "script kiddies" (you will find that they may well soon get bored by being frowned upon by "Hackers") and your child starts learning to "program" ...YES PROGRAM, thats the writing of Code that will guessed it, an application! If your child is doing this to any degree of success they will:
NEED to read.
NEED to understand Math's.
NEED to have social skills in order to receive help.
NEED to have your support, in order to feel like they are doing something of use.

if your child (by some miracle) learns ASM (which to help the author out is basically how to program in Machine Code...that's a rather, liberal statement but im sure following the disastrous errors in the piece, will be forgiven) they will NEED to know different Base number systems (Hexadecimal and Binary), they will need to know how to not only count but perform arithmetic in these number systems, including addiction, multiplication and subtraction. Your CHILD (why are you calling your offspring, who evidently may well have more intelligence than some adults, a child), your child will need to understand HOW computers work.

A Hacker? No

A Hacker is an enthusiast.
A Hacker can be male or female.
A Hacker can be of any creed and of any religion.
A Hacker does not have to have a computer.
A Hacker can be ANYONE who is deeply involved and INQUISITIVE into ANYTHING, be it computers or astronomy.

The term Hacker originated in the 1960's when computer programmers called themselves "Hackers".
It is the media who give "Hackers" a bad name; this "article" certainly does not help matters.

I will now leave you with these thoughts:

Who invented the Personal computer?
Who Invented the Internet?

Hackers, Hackers, Hackers, not malicious children, some of the Hackers were teenagers I can substantiate that claim, I was there one of them.

The Internet, the PC, BOTH were built using Team work.
They were built by Hackers.



you fool... (1.00 / 1) (#475)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 01:57:11 PM PST
You know, A machine named XBox is a hacker machine, and a program called "Word" or something is a virus scripting program, Ram is bad....err NOT...did you know quake is a GAME not a hacker thingy dammit the producers are gonna sue you for that one...You sure have some good proofs there mate!!!

forgot aol (1.00 / 1) (#477)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:09:37 PM PST
you forgot AOL, it is one of the most widely used 'hax0r' tools of them all, duh!

You Belive that? READ THIS!!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#479)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:12:21 PM PST
Many things are very wrong about this artical.. I will counter some. Bear with me on spelling since I'm 15 :)

**** Everything after the 3 stars (***) is my comment ****

1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?
*** you need more info. I asked my parents to switch from GTE to Earthlink ... what you dont know is I asked to go from 56k to DSL.
Also AOL is known for kicking users off, slow speeds, and at times connection problems... maybe they want a more reliable ISP.

2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".
*** I may be worng but Bonzi Buddy is a virtual desktop pet... not a hacking buddy. Flash is use to play movies!! How is playing movies hacking? If you have Flash 5.0 (used for making Flash movies) then your son a be a software pirate and be downloading programs illegaly.. but not hacking. Comet Cursor is used for making Icons to replace you mouse animations.

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
*** HAHAHAHA you make me laugh... I'm a serious gamer... you dont think I ask for new hardware? Also for your information AMD makes GREAT Chips. They make chips that are faster... I can quote "PC Gamer" (magizine) by saying AMD chips are FASTER than AMD. For those of you who dont know --- A AMD @ 1.3ghz is fast than a P4 @ 1.4ghz --- Thats right... AMDs are over 100mhz faster than Intel's. They are also cheaper and dont need that expensive RDram.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?
*** I spend a lot of time on my computer, and much online everyday. I average 4-6 hours daily on weekdays yet I keep a nice 3.8 - 4.0 GPA in highschool, spend a lot of time with friends, and do sports. I dont have a clue how to hack (nor do I want to) but this doesnt make me bad. In fact I have taught myself (and some lessons from my dad and a college near by) to make great webistes in HTML, code using Perl, Java, and even C++! Not many people at 14 know C++... I'm looking at a nice career after college.

I am not violent or anything but I love playing FPS (First Person Shooters)(like Quake 3 and Unreal Tourament). I have played Quake 3 a lot and never heard any talk about hacking. You dont know anything about the game and are quick to judge. Also most people who claim to be hackers really arent.

Thanks for your time reading this and I hope this clears up some information!

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL (1.00 / 1) (#480)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:13:17 PM PST
Well ähm...Quake is a coumpter game and it's a very good one =D...linus torvals comes from northern europe not rusia...ähm well this article sucks cause it's completely WRONG ! BULLSHIT !

i've never read such bullshit...and i've never laught so much in ten minutes please write more such articles :P very...funny :D

DUMB ASS (1.00 / 1) (#481)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:22:50 PM PST
you must be a fucking tard
what kind of bullshit is this?

you also mustve been hacked recently
and it was probably your son who did it
did he steal your wallet again?

you should go dig a hole and suffocate yourself
better yet, go hang yourself
so we can all laugh at you like we are right now

stupid motherfuckers now a days...

LMFAO (1.00 / 1) (#482)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:29:06 PM PST
this has to be the best April Fool outside of April I have ever read, great job :D

Idiots (1.00 / 1) (#483)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:32:25 PM PST
I can't believe anyone would believe this shit. Go out and purchase a copy of "PC's for dummies". Oh, and AMD has been sent a copy of this arcticle, which is quite slanderous. Get a life you fucking morons :p

Knock Knock! Who's There? (none / 0) (#6684)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 09:06:52 AM PST
I seriously debated even saying anything at all. I was simply too amused to even want to add anything, but this is mind boggling. I can't believe anyone is actually expressing outrage over this article. Way too many people are actually getting upset about this. This is almost as amusing as all of the people who became distraught when the fake website made up to look like CNN News posted that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake had died in a car crash while Britney was giving him a hummer. To all the people who have forwarded the post to AMD(of which I have seen 3 or so posts saying they have either done it or will be doing it), I am willing to stake 20 bucks on the fact that AMD will think this is some funny shit. Then after getting over their fits of giggles over the article. They are going to think about the people who sent them copies of the post for litigation. This, I can only imagine will send them over the edge into another 10 minutes of uncontrollable laughter. I wish I could come up with a joke like this that would cause 1,000's of people to post responses... Maybe I'll go work on that.

still shaking my head,


AMD processors are not made in the "Third Wor (1.00 / 1) (#485)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:40:45 PM PST
AMD owns factories in Dresden Germany, and Austin, TX. The chip is fastened to the PGA (Pin Grid Array, or the pins at the botton of the chip) in Malaysia by skilled workers at robots! if AMD used child labor, they'd have some nasty looking chips (hand soldering of integrated circuits has never been done, since the precision needed is too fine for any human to do) besides, Intel has more plants in 3rd world countries then AMD does!

If this is not a serious article. Then thanks for the Monday laugh :) otherwise... you need to do some research, and really find out whats going on... if your kid's grades are slipping, more than likely its drugs, not hacking thats getting them in trouble.

Thank you for your fine example. (1.00 / 1) (#486)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:41:42 PM PST
Besides showing that an image of reality can be twisted without using any brain-stimulants, you also did an excellent job on proving human stupidity once more by the fine example of yourself.

You gave "malicious hackers" all the reason they need to destroy the world. Thanks alot for your help in solving some of the galaxy's problems by taking direct responsibility for the extinction of the human race. Earth will explode in 10...9...

This was posted by Lynx in Linux, so I must be hacker...?

As you probably wouldn't listen to any of the rantings I had planned, I tried to put it mildly.

Bird Of Prey

No one can be this stupid can they? (1.00 / 1) (#487)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:44:07 PM PST
This is a joke right? No one can be this stupid can they? If you are serious fella, please nueteryourself and for the love of god do not let your children procreate!!!!

hahahahaha!!!! (1.00 / 1) (#488)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:44:52 PM PST
Your a fucking idiot d00d you know nothing whatsoever or hacking i hope you die sucking the cock you faggot.

who the HECK wrote this? (1.00 / 1) (#490)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:48:32 PM PST
Tell me this is a joke. Nobody can be this blatantly stupid.

Of course (none / 0) (#6682)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 08:46:28 AM PST
The whole thing has has to be a practicle joke. However wrote this is probobly laughing their ass off at the cyber supper dorks who reply.

IDIOT HEYO! (0.00 / 1) (#491)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:49:16 PM PST

This is the single dumbest thing in the world.
If this is seriously true, I hope to hell that your son 'Peter' beats the living shit out of you.

About AMD (0.50 / 2) (#494)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 02:53:56 PM PST
About AMD AMD: 30 Years of Reliable Performance Founded in 1969, AMD is now the second-largest supplier of Microsoft Windows compatible PC processors, and a leading supplier of non-volatile (flash) memory. With employees and facilities worldwide, AMD provides the world with processing and flash memory solutions.
    AMD is headquartered in Sunnyvale, California: One AMD Place P.O. Box 3453 Sunnyvale CA 94088
800-538-8450 The co-founder, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of AMD is W.J. Sanders III. The President and Chief Operating Officer of AMD is Hector de J. Ruiz. 2000 Revenue: $4.6 billion 2000 Net Income: $983 million Total Assets: $5.7 billion Number of Employees: 14,435 Stock Symbol: NYSE: AMD Logo: The initials AMD is an acronym for Advanced Micro Devices. The arrow icon symbolizes the AMD principle of growth in the right direction.

I am increddibly saddened by this article. (0.50 / 2) (#496)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:03:26 PM PST
In two ways. Firstly, to see that you blatenly write an uneducated and unresearched article about a subject you obviously have no knowledge on, and secondly that you have stifled your sons attempt at educating himself in the computer technology field witch will no doubtadly be the leading career opertunity for adults shortly.

There are so many ignorant opinions (not facts) and stereotypes in this article that I am sad to see ANY site host this sort of subject.

THe programs you listed are all common programs frequently used by computer users (NOT HACKERS) as a way to enjoy the internet. The books you suggested are technical books used for and by people trying to learn very common coding languages or history of languages for the benifet of its use. These are the common books that a person interested in ANY TYPE of computer business field would read.

Lunix as you call it, is really Lynix or Unix. Both are completely legle and COMMON operations systems just like WINDOWS. and If they were so illegal these sites would have been shut down the the internet protection agency IPA.

The "APEARANCE" you describe is not the "Hacker" style, that is the rave style. Associated with House and techno etc. etc. NOT HACKING.

A comment on your childs tendancy to argue. I would argue and despise my parents as well if they were as ignorant and misinformed as you are.

The "Otuku" group in which you mentioned is not a HACKING group. Otuku is a word that is associated with Japanese Animation fans. Cartoon lovers. To associate this with hacking is incredably ignorant.

And finaly a word on quake. Quake is a GAME, used by children AND adults alike as an entertainment utility. In otherwords, its purly ment for fun. I assure you there is not plotting of any kind except how to Win the game taking place in quake.

All in all this article is a piece of crap. its a shame children are raised in homes with such ignorant people incharge of caring for them.

I'm saddened you took this article seriously (none / 0) (#4845)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 21st, 2001 at 06:31:54 AM PST
Hellloooooo......... Did you miss the fact it's a joke?? How much sacrasm does it have to contain for you to see that? Though I did like the use of Brady Bunch names.... Hee hee.....

Do these morons really not see the joke? (none / 0) (#6289)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 03:56:43 AM PST
It quite astonishes me that 3/4s of the people who have posted thought this article was for real! Does nobody in the US have a sense of humour or an iota of that spark in the brain we called intelligence?

Im bashing the US because most of the dumb answers sound like they were written by americans, obviously I apologise to any US citizens who read the article and laughed their butts off like the rest of us. To the rest of you monkeys I suggest that you don't get a job operating heavy machinery unless you want darwin's law to catch up with you.

Is your son a hacker? (1.00 / 1) (#497)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:04:01 PM PST
I think you really should get all your facts straight before posting a web page as dumb as this one.

Linux is not an illegal operating system. Macromedia flash is not a hacker program, its web browser plug-in. AMD CPUs are used in HP computers and I really can't believe that any of the facts on this page are "for real."

Please try to think with that pink-gray sponge between your two ears prior to subjecting the world to such nonsense...

At the very least, you've provided a good deal of humor here, however; it's not funny at all when large companies hunt you down and sue you for slander.


Upset Reader

would be funny (none / 0) (#7767)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Aug 13th, 2002 at 03:27:38 PM PST
Seeing him hunted down would actualy be pretty funny...

You Fuck Up! (0.50 / 2) (#498)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:07:37 PM PST
Listen up! This artical is bullshit. The author of this peice of fucking garbage needs to get things straight. Major Companies use linux. And no Linux is not based on Xenix, UNIX you fuck up!
I have ran linux for years! Reason because is the
fuck up coperate bitches out there like to monopolize shit, aka Micr0$hit! You need to get your shit right, pull ur head out of your ass. Also, AMD has taken over the Number one position in Processors. Knock off's my ass. Go back to fucking school for spelling too you damn idiot. Oh btw. I'm LordLinux Bitch!

You've got to be kidding!!! (1.00 / 1) (#500)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:10:38 PM PST
What heavy psychotropic drugs do you take? Oh yea, AMD is using children to assemble processor chips. Get a grip and join the rest of us on planet Earth. What a Moron. What cult do you belong too?

I feel sorry for your son...PLEASE READ! (0.50 / 2) (#501)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:20:29 PM PST
Honestly, I don't know where you did your so called "research" but your top ten list is a joke. This is to anyone who is thinking of following those points, DON'T DO IT. Not only will you be accusing your son of something he isn't doing but you may be overlooking other important things.

Coming from a person that makes it sound like having a gun in the house is a common thing none of this paranoia surprises me. I have a feeling you consider yourself an upstanding i citizen who goes to church every Sunday.

Im sorry I dont meant to bash but it is really disturbing when you post this trash for other parents to blindly follow.

1. Changing isps will do absolutely nothing.

2. I cant say that i am familiar with programs such as "Comet Cursor" or "Bonzi Buddy" but i do know that "Flash" is an animation program used for web sites.

3. AMD processors are nothing more than an affordable way to increase your processing power. These so called security features in Intel chips that prevent hacking are non existent.

4. Hacking manuals, ok, i will give you this one, BUT, Snow Crash, Cryptonomicon and Neuromancer are nothing but excellent science fiction literature. Ever hear of something called a story? Well thats what these are. As for the other books i have not read them so i cannot comment on them.

5. This one is just plain ridiculous, the amount of time could mean anything. But could help if is limited.

6. Quake is a video game, im sure thats something you've heard of, its used to have fun, like any other video game.

7. Your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour could be caused by so many other things, please dont grasp at straws.

8. This is also silly, try spelling it correct first of all, Linux, and secondly this is nothing more than another operating system other than Windows. If you have a son who is using it you should be praising him as it is very difficult to use and requires alot of dedication to master.

9. The style of dress mentioned is typical of the Rave scene, i think the movie Hackers may have influenced this comment. You know what you tell your children, follow it yourself! ITS JUST A MOVIE.

10. Again grasping at straws, this could be due to something completely different which could be more damaging if overlooked.

In my opinion this gentle man should be banned from writing as he is publishing content that is false.

can someone say idiot? (0.50 / 2) (#503)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:23:18 PM PST
hello thats a normal life of a teenager. we eat sleep and change ALL the time. and as for hours on the internet...our friends are there...what else is there to do? its better than watching tv. and for the magazine thing...atleast its not nudity. of course they could just be covering up the porn with the hacker magazines. and for the computer programs IE comet cursor, uhh if you buy a program and they advertise comet cursor then its not must be very corrupted to think that any of that is a sign of hacking. were you never a teenager? you are loaded with such bull its oozing out of your pores. get a life and stop prying into your childrens.

You're surely ( Very ) retarder... (1.00 / 1) (#504)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:26:05 PM PST
I laughed off so much that I almost pissed my pants... You're a moron.

OK, so now I'll use my hacker program called "Getright" to hack the site and then meet on my demoniac meeting place for teenager hackers, called "The Sims".

If I have spare time I'll use "PopUp Killer" to teach a few hacker lessons to you son...


You gotta be kidding me!!! (1.00 / 1) (#505)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:27:21 PM PST
This article is the most rediculous thing i have ever read. Please read what you are saying and look at the numerous posts about it. I feel DUMBER after having read your article. Get a CLUE and a LIFE!!


The word of the day is B-U-L-L-S-H-!-T (1.00 / 1) (#506)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:28:31 PM PST
Obviously written by overzealous and stupid parents. Change in clothes has nothing to do with hacking. Flash is a movie program.COmet Cursor changes your mouse. Bonzi Buddy is a stupid little talking monkey. Wherever these people got their information, it shows how stupid they are for believing everything they read. I could make a site saying George Bush was mailing anthrax and they'd believe me -_-

This guy is drunk and is on crack (0.50 / 2) (#510)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 03:45:12 PM PST
Bullshit. Total and utter bullshit. What, is this guy with Joe Lieberman, which is why he stereotypes so much?

Why the ABSOLUTE FUCK should I believe a person who gives us a trigger lock page that says "Rapist Approved"??? Is this retard taking crack???

Quake gamers are NOT all hackers.

I won't feel sorry if this guy's car exploded.


I must be a hacker too! (0.50 / 2) (#517)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:27:13 PM PST
It is very clear that you have very little, if any, knowledge about computers, operating systems, programming or technology.

My husband is at the top of his field in software engineering. He is a Unix/Linux professional who has been fascinated with computers since the age of 13. He has never been a hacker, but exibited many of the "evil" characteristics you described in this obsurd article, including playing QUAKE with me.

1. No ISP is "hacker-proof". None is "hacker- friendly". Duh.

2. Software you haven't installed? I'm not even going to bother with this one. Learn something about computers.

3. AMD is preferred by hackers. Well, then I guess I'm a hacker too, 'cause I'm running an AMD Duron 650 with 512MB of ram, a DVD/CD Rom drive, an external zip drive, a flatbed scanner, and TWO inket printers. Our home network sports two more stand-alone computers with AMD's over 1GB each and a Beowolf Cluster of AMD 400's. AMD is a US based company. Pick up a newspaper.

4. Hacking manuals. Yep, they're out there. So are "girlie magazines" and internet porn. Suppose you're gonna tell us you've never looked at one? Right.

5. Quake is a GAME, not a chat room.

6. Argumentative and Surly? Perhaps he's figured out you're clueless, and won't stand for the crap.

7. Linux (NOT lunix) is a stand alone OPERATING SYSTEM, with ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION to Microsoft. It was a student project created by a computer science student named Linus Torvalds. He resides in the US. Again, pick up a newspaper.

8. Radically changed his appearance. Maybe he's growing up. Maybe it's just clothing. If you haven't changed your appearance, maybe you should take a good look at that leisure suit, and make plans to hit the mall.

9. If your son isn't doing well in school, perhaps you might look at the fact that you aren't spending enough time helping him. Or, he might have a learning disability like A.D.D.

By the way, my husband makes $000,000 (six figures) because he exibited exactly the same behaviors as your son. He did this before age 34. Something to think about, isn't it?

being a Hacker is not a crime (1.00 / 1) (#519)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:31:50 PM PST
There is nothing wrong in beinging a hacker there are hackers who work for the Goverment its if your son is a cracker you have to be worried.

i leav eit as that.

yeah, sure. (none / 0) (#7098)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Feb 27th, 2002 at 01:58:51 AM PST
be really worried! because any cracker could get really rich in places they call 'security consulting companies', which, in fact, really are places where they discuss how to kill the next parent...

I am so utterly speechless.. sincerely. just.. OMG (0.50 / 2) (#525)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:49:38 PM PST
you are on obsessively protected and paranoid parent.

i sure as hell wouldn't want to be around if i grew up in my teen years.

it's parents like you that smother their kids to the point of suffocation to shield them from the outside world.

and you wonder why your kids'll come out fucked up in the end.

get your facts straight.

1)aohell sucks. if he wants to switch to broadband or dialup , then let him do so, for he has more than good reason. aol is reserved for computer-illiterate drones such as yourself.

2)those aformentioned programs are what are referred to as "plug-ins" you won't be able to see certain sites w/o them. think of it as a pc/mac compatible disk to be used on either system.

3)technology is growing at an exponential rate. i still run a 466Mhz and two months later it was twice the power. i wouldn't doubt that your son wants to have the latest to keep up with technology. kinda like a car. still, you don't let yourself understand.

4)now you've gone make yourself the fool. why don't you go to a IT/IS related message forum and post this. you'll be laughed at x10000. Even so, I bet you that some techs are also parents and will tell you that those are GREAT RESOURCEFUL books to learn more about the IT field. Hell, they're REQUIRED in college.

5)I don't even want to acknowledge this one with a good response. You are just lame.

6)Quake is a game. Like cowboys & indians.

7) claim to be a great parent, yet you don't see the signs of a child growing up. Good on there genious.

8)Linux is an abosoutely powerful and awesome operating system. Don't think that Microsoft is the greatest OS of all. It's not, drone.

9)see #7

10) see #7

You are a schizno with an acute sense of reality paranoia. You need help, & keep away from your kids before you seroiusly hurt them psychologically.

Whole new level of idiocy (1.00 / 1) (#527)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 04:51:18 PM PST
I know nothing about computers yet this did not stop me from laughing my ass off! This guy (who apparently "researched" his info.) is so obviously a complete moron. This takes stupidity to an entirely new level. If I ever meet someone and I want to know how stupid they are, I now have a text-book definition to compare them to.

haha.. (none / 0) (#6967)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jan 31st, 2002 at 09:54:02 AM PST
i can't believe you guys
that guy's not stupid, he's very intelligent

he wrote an extremely funny and well written piece of SATIRE

he doesn't believe in what is said! the whole thing is a joke, at those who actually have those beliefs,....

i can't believe people here were so stupid that they did not realise that.

ummmmm, no (0.50 / 2) (#529)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:02:25 PM PST
"Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy"
LOL - I thought that's where hacking began :p

but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel

Let's see, he thinks his son is a hacker for using Bonzi Buddy, but the kid doesn't know how to hide the list items?

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Rrrrrrriiiiiiiight. Personally I prefer Intel, good thing I don't have to worry about anyone hacking my AMD with flash.

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines.

I heard about that awsome hacking utility.

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

They must have been spying on our LAN parties!

I stopped reading this article after learning about Lunix and its inventor Linyos Torovoltos.

I can only hope this is a joke.

are u thick???? or are u on lsd??? or u is jking (0.50 / 2) (#530)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:02:50 PM PST
this has to be funniest thing i have ever seen in my life. if you read this actually thought that ur son is hakor, kill yourself:) for being a dumb parent

1. AOL gimme a break.

2.have u ever actually looked at waht these programs do??? try looking for script kiddies toys like flooders,nukes, etc

3. matrox fast lol there slow compared to geforce 3 64mb ram
intel - a bigger slower shits that amd
amd is popular/cheaper/better.

4. all hacking manuals u mention are either sc fi books (william gibson book rox but teaches squat about hacking)

5. lies, by dos u mean denial of service of DDos which is very eisly done by using a l33t program
i spend over 6hrs online

6. lies quake a bleeding game ffs, i got UT, half life, sof, avp2,

7. lol

8. lies

9. dangeous clothing omg *fashion police*

10. funny tho it proven that the radation that computers leek is not proven dangeous.


1. ur a dumb american
go and sort your fucking fact out do some reserch read internet for dummies (i dont know of any other thicker books)

2. on drugs/joking
well i all i got to is PLD as u possibly made any one who reads this to lol.

Darwin awards for Csci Illiteracy? LoL! (0.50 / 2) (#531)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:05:00 PM PST
I'm an IT major, just to get that out right away. I do not do any illegal activities, I am a strict HACKER. Not the term used only in MOVIES and MISINFORMED books/articles, but a REAL HACKER is simply someone who writes code. HACKER is synonymous with PROGRAMMER, and I'd actually prefer to term myself a WIZARD... (have fun "investigating" this term... you might think I practice magic or something, and lookup magic and think I practice the card game which is often associated with demon worshipers as you "ideal americans" think, lmao). There are too many things here to even begin to critique, but hopefully just pointing out a key problem with the title is enough to illustrate the computer illiteracy of the person writing this article. Just for your knowledge as well, I have an AMD processor, wear AMD shirts all the time, spend at least 3 hours a day on my computer, look like an average student, have great grades, run linux, have read "programming with perl" (since when are programming books a crime for programmers, lol), used to love quake, but being in a quake3 CLAN got boring after a while and now I mostly play cs, I'm argumentive because I have a passion for feminist theory and I question the world constantly, I completely built ANOTHER computer from scratch... requiring hardware =P, install new programs almost daily, and have switched isps several times... the best change ever was switching from aol to qwest where we could actually connect to the servers... but that was MANY YEARS AGO... now I'm on a broadband connection for many reasons and have our whole house networked... and this house is my parents. Final line, even though I exhibit ALL of these traits except getting bad grades, I am not a cracker/phreaker/script kiddie/etc. I am a HACKER by definition, but ask anyone in IT and you'll find that hacker is synonymous with coder and doesn't infer any illegal activity. In closing, I'd like to say that if you're the ideal american, then again I'm ashamed to be an american because we're truly screwed up in our priorities, but I'm definitely not the ideal american because I'm capable of independent thougt and actually learn the true being of things when I investigate something new instead of taking all initial face values and adding them up into a compilation of how much web nonsense there is to be found by people who can't use a search engine properly.

Tip for you: NEVER order anything online because you'll be more likely to give your credit card number to someone who will compromise its security than an actual ledgitimate online vender. This tip is completely serious as I believe you either need years of learning what computers are about before you attempt anything on a computer.

Thank you for writing one of the funniest articles I've ever read, I'm going to print it off and show it too all my fellow classmates tomorrow, ROTFLMAO!

Yes, I have job security (1.00 / 1) (#532)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:05:10 PM PST
I am glad to say that I will continue to have job security for a long time, if there are more people such as Mr. Gibbons, who are trully computer illiterate.

I have to that, while this article is certainly entertaining, is full of holes in logic AND contains a lot of inaccurate facts.

The list is so long, that I dont even want to start enumerating them, though I will certainly oblige Mr.Gibbons, if he requests it.

At least this has provided me with a GOOD laugh tonight.


Jason Terlecki

in jest? (1.00 / 1) (#533)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:05:35 PM PST
For the love of the powers that be, i hope this is not a serious article. A biased bigoted article such as this has no place any where. There are countless legitimate reasons for everything that was mentioned in your 'article'. If this article is completely serious and i seriously hope it is not, then this further deflates my opinion of the human race as a whole to be closed minded and hateful. Its just sad that someone somewhere allowed this article to be published. Publications such as this and other propaganda created by groups such as the KKK seriously make me question my beliefs towards free speech. This article would be banned in canada because of their anti-hate laws, so i can only assume this was publishhed in the US. I also hope the irony of this 'article' being published and distributed by evil evil electronic means is not lost on anyone. If this is satire, then I had a good laugh. If its not i am genuinly sad for the author of this.

Ignorance is very distrubing (1.00 / 1) (#541)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:20:25 PM PST
Actually commet cursor is spyware, not particularly nasty, but spyware removers will flag it for removal.

The artical itself was so stupid that i though
that this was a spoof site untill i read some
of the replies.

Very scarry.

I'm supprised the artical wasn't eaten by
the admins.

you are an idiot (1.00 / 1) (#543)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:27:34 PM PST
stupid moron.

Hehehehehe (1.00 / 1) (#544)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:29:28 PM PST
Brilliant article. Incredibly well thought-out.

You idiots commenting who have thought that this is a serious piece, rather than a brilliant bit of ironic parody, are really showing the ill-effects of the lobotomies you have almost all obviously had.

dumbfuck author (1.00 / 1) (#545)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:32:02 PM PST
damn u are one dumb m0f0...
u know bout anything.. go back to reading.
spell it right h03 LINUX.

most u have is a lame kid not a hax0r.

i met the a l33t girl hax0r.. she came out to be a bitch in reality in my city, she may not match my skillz, but damn well knows more then u or ur professionals.. lol

u don't understand us and never will. is curiosity so fucking wrong? NO! you just can't take us being smarted then j00!

i 0wn j00 lil h03
w00t w00t

wurd to all mah hax0rz
-- DiSice

Oh my bloody word (1.00 / 1) (#547)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:32:41 PM PST

Ok, that was one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. The *nix section (unix, linux, etc) had to be a joke. If it wasn't a joke the person who wrote it should seriously seek medical treatment. I am a computer security enthusiast and I use BSD unix because it is one of the best operating systems to protect against hackers. Now what on earth is this lunatic who wrote that jiberish above think he is doing by dissing the most secure operatting systems around? I really hope this is a joke.

cool..i guess this means I'm a hacker too... (1.00 / 1) (#551)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:38:02 PM PST
I know Flash and I use AMD CPUs! Holy shitballs Batman, be a hacker is easier than scratching my arse!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeee...

except for the bright pants. Neon makes my skin look healthy

this is alwsome (none / 0) (#556)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:43:02 PM PST
where did u come up with this

it is the funnist thing i hav ever seen in my life


you could make millions writing stuff like this

OK.. this has to be a joke. (0.50 / 2) (#561)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 05:55:14 PM PST
First off, I dont see how anyone could confuse some of these things. Like number 10, how on earth could anyone think that is a hacking group? Also look at the linux stuff and amd stuff. AMD's web page is and anyone that did 'research' would vist that site and see that they are for a fact.. based in the usa. Secondly any idiot knows linux wasnt invented by the soviets, for more of the obvious reasons *cough cough kursk cough cough*.

If this is true, I recommend any parrents that take this "Advice" seriously lock their kids up in a closet with every version of the bible till they are 18 then let them out then try and figure our why them came out so fu*ked up.

Comeon gang lets use our l33T lunix skillz and hax dis here page!

Oh and another thing.. this page was written using perl so they all must be hackers.

cough cough (none / 0) (#4947)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 23rd, 2001 at 05:01:39 PM PST
cough cough Gagarin cough cough Mir cough cough

a closer look... (0.50 / 2) (#564)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:03:29 PM PST
after reading this article, i had a good laugh, and thought it a good joke. however, on frither examination of this piece, i am wondering if this might be what someone believes to be fact, after doing helpdesk support for an internet service provider for well over 6 months...

some of my feelings on this are as follows:

(1) i noticed the referance to AOL as a "trused and well respected" internet service provider. I think some people do not understand their methods of business. i think these issues are explained really well at <a href=""></a>.

(2) Programs such as Bonzibuddie, Comet cursor, and other such programs, are installed by people who are idiots in the first place. People who know better, have the brains to stay away from crap like this. they are utilities that morons install to make their computer 'more fun to use' but are really programs that cause more troubles and dealer visits for the less inept.

(3) asking for new hardware isn't a crime. If you are running a POS 486, you are gonna get bugged. Slow computers are no fun to use, and if you like to play games, it sucks. As for the referance to AMD (Advanced Micro Devices inc), they are an american company, that produces computer processors. Not some nazi 3rd world child labor camp. if you want a 3rd world child labor camp, go bug nikie, or some other clothing manufacturer.

(4) Some of these books that you mention... they might be good for you to read, or it could be the fact that you have no knolage of true literature. Sure, they may depict hacking, but people other points of view, and to question things. Taking things at face value, is often one of the most dangerous things we ever do. The most important lesson in life, is to learn to think, not to sit and be spoon fed everything.

(5) I see someone has never worked in the IT industry. You also may want to make sure that they aren't strokin it.

(6) Quake... Play it, understand.

(7) If your kids are argumentitive, they are starting to think for themselves. It also means you are an idiot, and don't know your rear end from a hole in the ground.

(8) Linux, is a windows alternitive. If you like havin Windows, good for you. Otherwise... find something different. Linux, is a free alternitive to unix, which was originally developed in the 60's, by large corperations & the goverment, as a operating system for mainframes, and the graphical user interface (GUI) orignally designed by Xerox; but has prospered to what it is today. Also, we wouldn't have windows without it :)

(9) do your kids also carry a skateboard, or are they a goth? not everyone is your average inbred american dumbass. some people do have feelings about how they should look & be percieved by others.

(10) poor grades? ever think it's cuz they don't want to listen to a teacher who reads out of a book, or is just waiting out those last couple years to retirement? most of todays public teaching staff is unqualified, and just doesn't care. Why should your kids? They don't care enough, to make sure that everyone with a high school deploma can read and write.

Just some food for thought.

someone needs education!!! (1.00 / 1) (#565)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:05:25 PM PST
I am a computer tech and none of this is true. AMD is just an other company. Linux is a better operating system then windows and the name comes from linus the inventer and unix the basic code. This article should be removed now. This is all untrue. Bonzi buddy is a program with a talking monkey. You really think hackers play with talking monkeys. Gator is a program that will save your passwords so you don't forget them when you go to a web site. I got a real laugh out of this though.

Rubbish...and it says troll posts will be deleted. (0.50 / 2) (#568)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:10:28 PM PST
Well, rather than address EVERY one of the errors in his post, I will kill one of them.

AMD is Advanced Micro Devices, based out of Sunnyvale, California. I work for them in Austin, Texas. Now the author of this nonsense may not realize that California is part of the United States, but I trust that most of the readers here do.

AMD does NOT use child labor, and you simply CANNOT make computer chips in sweatshops. Contamination is a major issue in semiconductor manufacture. You have to keep the air so clean that a hospital operating room would not be up to standards we were using 20 years ago. One drop of sweat contains enough sodium to wreck millions of dollars worth or product if properly distibuted.

Further, AMD is consistently in or near the top companies to work for in the US by Forbes Magazine. When we don't make the top 100, we have meetings, programs, and enact plans to figure out WHY we aren't in the top 100.

Finally, we make some of the most advanced microprocessors in the world. They are not 'knock-offs' or 'reverse-engineered.' They are our own unique design and have many advantages over our competition. Better or worse (and everyone has an opinion) depends largely on who you ask, but definitly different.

You know, your son probably wasn't a hacker at all, but just knew a heck of a lot more about PCs than you do.

AOL is ok for some people, but many people prefer faster internet service such as DSL and Cable.

Linux is a perfectly respected OS used by many American businesses for reasons I doubt you would understand, based on your rant.

Quake 3 is a GAME. It is a COMPUTER GAME. People who like computer games (yes, including hackers) play this and many other games. An online virtual reality would be more lie Sony's Everquest.

If your adolescent HASN'T done something radical to his or her appearance, there might be cause for alarm. Its the rebellion thing that most teens (including you) do.

Hacking has nothing to do with how fast your video card is. Quake and other games do. Video cards are for drawing those pretty pictures on your screen (hence the term 'video card.'). Despite what you see in movies, hacking into someones bank account does not involve stunning 3D graphics.

Hackers do not need elite hardware. Gamers do.

I didn't know the Amish were allowed to own comps (1.00 / 1) (#577)
by ShaelJenias on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:21:27 PM PST
I thought all you Amish folk feared computers because they were "the Devil's tools!" Just like how you believe Otaku are "the Devil's people" and that Innocent programs like Commet Cursor and Bonzi Buddy are "the Devil's programs"

It's bad enough that someone as dumb as you can own a computer. But tell me, being the idiot researcher that you are, how the hell did you even get a computer? For that matter, How'd you even figure out how to register and post a message?

For that matter, Mr.Everything-Is-Evil, Why'd you learn to type? Is that why the Amish outcasted you from their society? because you learned to type? Or was it because you told them that churning butter was evil, and raising barns was evil, and chiseled messages in tree stumps to beware that their son too may be churning butter?

I can't wait until your children are all 18 and can be rid of you. You're probably the same person who posted the evils of Pokemon at:

For a post on, you sure did post quite an inadequate message.

What to do if your child is a hacker. (4.00 / 1) (#578)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:25:55 PM PST
I hate to say it but...the only possible answer is their instant demise if you are to save their soul from the burning grasp of the dark lord Satan. First you must disconnect your modem from the wall and then take your Holy Hammer* and crush the moniter. You must hit if 3 times each time invocing the name of the Son, the Father, and the Holy Ghost (one each time). After this you must nail your son to the wall of the basement, or if you are lacking a basement, to the bathroom mirror and use the Holy Hammer to hammer crosses into his eyes, mouth, navel and his dirty dirty loins, the root of the devils power. After he has died remove his heart and hold it up the the light. Procced to take it downstairs and drop it in the blender along with 2 cups of holy water.Turn it on high for 2 minutes and drink the resulting mixture. Doing all of this will hurt, but the immortal soul of your son is more important than your mortal feelings, he will thank you in heaven.

Much love!

*How to make a Holy Hammer: Take two hammers and nail them together to form a cross like item. Remove the head on the crossbar and dip it in holy water while chanting out prayers to the lord.

Just a heads-up (none / 0) (#734)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:55:05 PM PST
I'm pretty sure it's spelled "monitor" not "moniter" as you have used in your post...

...just FYI

cute (none / 0) (#6092)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 02:05:37 PM PST
but if people believe the original article you could be in a whole lot of trouble...:)

Read the rest of his comments (none / 0) (#6965)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 30th, 2002 at 07:24:39 PM PST
It's totally genuine. Read some of his other comments. He believes what he said.

Careful... (none / 0) (#7146)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Mar 9th, 2002 at 09:48:37 PM PST
If the father in that story was serious, you could go to prison for a long time for if he does actually kill his son. I really do hope he wasn't serious though.

Yeah, really... (0.50 / 2) (#579)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:29:33 PM PST
I am going to assume that you wrote this article tongue in cheek but just in case you seriously believe that.

A) Linux is evil, yeah right, even microsoft runs linux on some systems. Why? Because it doesn't have the same mystifying ability as the MS operating systems. What mystical ability? The one that allows them to crash the system once every two hours or usually more often.

B) Changing from AOL = bad
No not really, if you believe you are getting the best deal from AOL for the internet then you are mistaken. If you are that worried about filtering you can use a third party filter program when you change ISP.

C) Telnet = bad
Yeah, the US Congressional Library are all hackers. Why? Because they run a telnet site of course.

D) 'Flash' being a popular hacker program, yeah good one mate, you're cracking me up here.

E) Needing a new video cards kind of goes hand in hand with playing computer games these days (of course this means he is probably playing evil quake games), you didn't seriously think he was going to spend all his time on the computer playing mindmaze off the encarta cd's though did you? (with of course the occaisional break to play minesweeper).

I mean, really - just get a clue would ya.

dude, next time you need to do some research (0.50 / 2) (#581)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:33:51 PM PST
I am 19 and I am not a hacker. I use my computer everyday, I have an AMD processor because it is faster and better than intel, I keep upgrading my ram and hard drive because I need the extra speed or space, I have Linux as an operating system because it is fast and stable, and easier to use in some cases. most of the programs you listed are simple childish programs that do nothing. By the way Sir, I am a God fearing Christian and understand what you were trying to do but you should have checked your sources. If you would like to talk to a group of people about computers and what they are used for by most people, come to this website and register as an anonymous name and post a thread asking what we use computers for.

Pure Idiocy and Stereotypes (0.50 / 2) (#582)
by PITVIPER on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:36:29 PM PST

1) IT'S LINUX!!! NOT LUNIX!!! Which is a good OS to have for webmastering and software development.

2)Fashion has nothing to do with hacking. I know many "hackers" who dress like normal people. Almost every teenage boy wears baggy pants, if they don't, they'll be classified as gay among their peers.

3)Once again, teenagers are generally argumentative, and while may appear to display anti-social behavior among adults, could still be sociable and popular people among peers.

4)Reading hacking manuals helps you understand how hacking works so you can better protect your computer as you go deeper into the internet.

5)AMD makes the best chips on the market. They are the fastest and most reliable, and will not be obsolete as soon as the next line of chips comes out, like pentium. AMD chips you can have for years and run at comparible speeds to the avg. speed of the newest line of pentiums.

6)School systems can affect the grades of students, espiacially when changing schools. 1 year you can have very easy courses, the next can be very hard. So don't blame computers, for they can also aid in academic progression.

7)Many children/teenagers enjoy playing computer games, which may require hardware upgrades. THIS IS THE MAIN REASON FOR NEW SOUND CARDS, VIDEO CARDS, AND MORE RAM!!! You can't use any of that for hacking. The only upgrade you should begin suspecting something is when they ask for a new networking card, because that contains the MAC address, which is permanent, unlike IP adresses.

8)A half hour is generally not enough time to check email, do homework and have leisure time, an hour may not even be enough. Pushing 3 hours is when time on the computer should end.

9)Finally I come to my last and biggest point, online multiplayer games. While I am not familiar with Quake (as in playing it), I do and have played many games like it. There usually is not enough time to have hacker meetings, as you play the game. Also, most people don't talk during these games, as they are having fun "killin" each other. But if the child can't recognize the difference between the game and the real world, it is a mental problem, and is most likely there before they even begin seeing this type of violence. The soccer parents of America just need scapegoats for what could be blamed as lousy parenting. Thus the main scapegoat is the media, and if you bring up psychologists, well of course they're going to go with that view, they get paid more that way.

That is the finally to my rants in pointing out your idiocy and stereotypes of people who use the internet. Personally I believe that it is people like you who make people believe in communism and dictatorships, as you create a 1984 for your children to live in. So until you actually do some research on this topic thats non-biased, don't post anything about hacking again.

[Rant] Lies. (none / 0) (#935)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 06:31:08 AM PST
1) IT'S LINUX!!! NOT LUNIX!!! Which is a good OS to have for webmastering and software development.
Wrong. Also, it is technically impossible to do either of the above activities on Lunix, as Micro-Soft Front-Page and Micro-Soft Visual Basic are not available for alternative, geek-trendy, DOS clones.

2) ...I know many "hackers" who dress like normal people...
This is a blatant lie. Hackers pride themselves on their individualism and failure to conform to the herd mentality (as can be seen in the vast range of opinions on this article). I mean, do you really think someone whose hero is ESR is going to care if people call him gay?

3)Once again, teenagers are generally argumentative
As evidenced by the hackers' many well thought-out posts here. This fixation with becoming a l33t hax0r d00d is a manifestation of their desire to rebel against their parents. It's classic attention-seeking behaviour. You'll grow out of it.

4)Reading hacking manuals helps you understand how hacking works
Exactly. Your point was?

5)AMD makes the best chips on the market.
I believe you mean, 'the better x86 chips on the market'.

AMD chips you can have for years and run at comparible speeds to the avg. speed of the newest line of pentiums.
Can I please take a trip on this magical time machine that makes old, tired CPUs young and vital again? I fail to see how a third-rate knock-off can be 'comparible' to the real deal.

6)School systems can affect the grades of students, espiacially when changing schools.
Yeah, blame the schools, blame the over-worked, under-paid teachers, blame the parents, blame anything except for the source of the problem. Be it the schools, the DMCA, the RIAA, or 'espiacially' 'Micro$oft' (cute spelling, by the way) you h**kers are always looking for a scapegoat to blame for your failings.

7)Many children/teenagers enjoy playing computer games
I cannot argue with this point, I myself rather enjoyed playing the 'Frogger Adventures' range of games in my younger days.

Wrong. The main reason for these frivolities is to extract money from your poor parents' pockets. Do you think poor old 'Mahutai' in Kenya playing the hit game 'Tire-and-Stick' (I see this shit on CCF ads, so don't say I'm making this up) cares that he doesn't have the new 'G-Force 5' when all his friends do and he only has a 'G-Force 4' and it's not fair and he hates his parents? No, Mahutai does not.

8)A half hour is generally not enough time to ... do homework...
This is an absurd liberal myth perpetuated by hackers to get computers into the homes of children who can be perverted against their parents and turned into mindless, moronic, zombie hackers. The fact is that computers cannot be used for homework, the EM-rays stop the 'user' (God, it's like some sort of dependency lingo) from thinking rationally. Math, chemistry, english... YES I CAN DEFINITELY SEE THE NEED FOR A NEW PENTIOTRON 3GMHZZ COMPUTER MACHINE!!!

Also, most people don't talk during these games
Of course not, they type on the keyboard device. If their parents are neglectful enough to allow them to play such 'games' they are obviously not around to listen to their child's thoughts, hence the children do not talk.

it is a mental problem
Correct. Hacking is a mental problem. Which was the point of the well researched article in the first place.

The soccer parents of America just need scapegoats for what could be blamed as lousy parenting.
I hope you see the irony in the above comment.

That is the finally to my rants
Maybe it's just that it's 3AM, and maybe it's just that there are lesbians on TV, but that makes no sense to me. 'Finally' is an adverb, I believe you wanted the noun, 'finale'.

I believe that it is people like you who make people believe in communism and dictatorships...

OK, no dictatorships, gotcha...
don't post anything about hacking again.



i feel sorry for your kids, get some help (1.00 / 1) (#584)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:40:52 PM PST
man, you have some serious problems. everything you have listed are stereotypes. and by the way, hacking isn't illegal, cracking is. if you've ever forgotten your password to something and tried to reenter it, you were hacking. oh no! not you! the perfect father! you're anything but perfect. i feel really bad for your kids. you need to let them learn things on their own. he'll learn that cracking is lame and he'll learn to write programs. the whole deal with quake being a meeting place for hackers is a complete joke, i have no idea where you get that crap from. asking to get rid of aol is a good thing, it's the worst provider out there. just because you want diversity on your computer doesn't make you a hacker. wearing bright clothing doesn't make you anything either. i hope this whole thing is a joke because if it isn't, then...nevermind. besides, if i actually told you everything wrong with what you're saying, i'd be on longer than 45 minutes, making me a hacker.

What a complete crock of bovine feces!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#585)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:42:25 PM PST
This is the biggest crock of bovine feces I have EVER read about in over 8 years in the computer industry!

I happen to work for one of the world's largest computer manufacturers (IBM) and the person who wrote this claptrap knows next to nothing about computers or software.

Quake is a game used by hackers to train with firearms???? Where did you find this load of hogwash? Most of the weapons in Quake are not even representations of real world guns. I could direct you to some games that are much more graphic and realistic if you like. Try Rainbow Six, Half-life-CounterStrike, Delta Force, etc.

Also, having obviously more experience than this fool, let me tell you that AOL's "filters" can be sidestepped by any well computer schooled 12 year old!!! The reason that most hackers want off of AOL is they were not good enough hackers, and were caught by the AOL police doing something they were not supposed to do.

I'd suggest whoever wrote that go back and do some further studying as the programs, Bonzai Buddy, and Comet Cursor have nothing to do with hacking at all. Also The operating system you are refering to is LINUX not Lunix, and it is NOT a hacker program, nor does it have anything to do with hacking, nor will it destroy anything on your computer. Linux is simply a software alternative to people who don't like Microsoft Windows. You can order computers right from the manufacturer (like IBM)with Linux loaded on them instead of Microsoft Windows. You can run Linux, and Microsoft Windows on your computer in what is called a "dual boot" system. All this means is you can pick which operating system you wish to run as the system is starting. Also, unless you are a complete idiot, if you wanted to be rid of Linux, you need not send your computer back to the manufacturer and have the hard drive replaced. Simply format the drive and reload Microsoft Windows as the operating system.

As to the AMD Microprocessors, AMD manufactures a solid, reasonably priced alternative (which also happens to be FASTER, and more RELIABLE) to Intel Microprocessors. They are not the "hacker" microprocessor of choice, they are any knowledgable persons choice. They are faster, run cooler, and perform better than most recent Intel products, and they are more competetively priced. There are NO anti-hacking features built into ANY Intel products, period. Any person who WANTS to be a hacker can do so with any Intel, AMD, or for that matter, APPLE computer!!!!!

Learn some FACTS before you write such drivel.

Thanks for you time if you chose to wade through this lengthy piece. If you want any further facts, feel free to contact me at:

You know you can use your article to prove I rule? (1.00 / 1) (#586)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:46:46 PM PST
In your article, several times you use a form of argument where you say something such as, "It hasn't been proved wrong, so it is". Therefore I must be the ruler of the planet, because you did not state that I'm NOT ruler of Earth. You must all bow or be destroyed.

OMG! OMG! OMG! NO!!!!!! (0.00 / 1) (#587)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:49:57 PM PST

.. Lmao (1.00 / 1) (#589)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:54:07 PM PST
ROFL, I have seriously not had such a good laugh in about a year, I couldn't stop laughing at about the 2nd reason with 'Bonzi buddy, flash' lol.

All I have to say is this 'father' is ignorant, I myself have an AMD and in my opinion its better then any Intel..
I wish I had this guys email.


I think you need to read this. (none / 0) (#593)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:57:33 PM PST
If you believe what you have written then you are quite possibly the most computer illiterate individual I have ever seen.

LINUX is a great operating system and "Hackers" use it as frequently as they do Windoze.

PERL, DOS, and many other languages you mentioned are technical languages and are good to know for any application. If your child is reading books on them then I don't see why you don't encourage them to learn the languages and how to use them responsibly. These languages can lead to some very high pating careers.

Asking to switch ISPs is not a sign of a can hack from AOL as easily as you can from MSN or AT&T, regardless of the ISP you use it is all in how you learn to get around the systems safety features.

Your child changing his or her appearence??? Hello!!! where have you been don't you remember rebellious dressing just to piss your parents and teachers off?? This also goes in hand with surly behaviour....remember a little stage in life called adolescence??


Gimme a break it's a fuckin video game you dorf.

New hardware huh?? well if your system wasn't built by a company that uses proprietary parts you may see that a new vid card is for better graphics. You don't need a vid card to hack since 99% of hacking is done in code and not with a GUI.

AMD you may be surprised to find is actually a more efficient processor and less expensive than the INTEL equivelent. Do some reading before you slam a great company such as AMD.

Programs on the computer you didn't load huh??

Comet Cursor and Bonsai Buddy, while very annoying are far from hack programs.

Flash is a artistic program that allows pieces of animation to be played and created on your computer.

OK now here is my suggestion to you, instead of accusing your son of hacking (girls hack too by the way and are just as aggressive and dangerous as male they turn me on) sit down and ask him what he is doing on the computer. My guess is that he is teaching himself how to program flash animations which is a very desireable thing to know. This would be the reason why he wants a faster processor as well as a better video card, since the one that came built into your motherboard is probably some old outdated 16 Bit vid card.

It's sad that you make these accusations about your son or daughter but have obviously not sat down and asked him what he is doing.

Time spent on the web although not the healthiest of habits physically is far from dangerous in most all cases.

This idiot forced me to kill myself (0.50 / 2) (#594)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 06:58:46 PM PST
words cant describe how clueless you are. because of you im going to get drunk and high, hack the microsoft mainframes, and go rape a girl get her pregnant and make a total waste of my life.

thanks a fucking lot!!!!!!!!

AMD AMD AMD AMD AMD AMD (0.50 / 2) (#597)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:01:34 PM PST

I thought The AMD bit was interesting...especially since im running an Athlon. How can u hack into a processor? Unless o/cing is called ahcking...

Lunix is Evil! (none / 0) (#599)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:10:21 PM PST
I know for a fact that Lunix is evil! My Rad Het Lunix has been hackered thousands of times! My aol account can't stop them! What should I do??? I was thinking on Installing Wondiws XP ... since that OS isn't free and open source like Lunux is.

I'm a bit stunned (0.50 / 2) (#601)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:18:40 PM PST
First off, half of those signs seem more like becoming a teenager then a "hacker" Like so many other things no two people will show the same signs. These may have been what his son showed but doesn't mean every one will display them. I will admite at first I thought it was someone getting on edge, but everyone does that a few times in their life. Like I said, those signs would match my sister *exepct for the books and demanding better vid. card, hard drives ect.* moving into her teens lol. It is importent to watch WHAT your kids do online...but I get online for hours at a time sometimes...partly to play EverQuest, but to keep in touch with my folks, grandparents, friends etc...just need to keep every thing in mind as far is I can see.

you idiot (0.50 / 2) (#604)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:20:02 PM PST
... right.

I cannot believe that this is a serious article. But if it is, I have a problem with every single "serious point" you made.

1. Look, If you think AOL is a reliable internet service provider, you must live under a rock.

2. a. Comet cursor is a program that changes your "cursor" when you are "online". Your cursor is a little pointy thing that moves around your "screen".
b. Bonzi buddy is a freaking digital pet, for cripes sake.
c. Flash allows you to watch "movies" on the "internet" (which I bet you think Al Gore invented)

3. JESUS, AMD is not made in third world countries, and it is not made using child labor. People use AMD processors because they fail less than Intel's processors. Look, I bet you that no one in a third world country even knows what a processor is (apparently, neither do you)

4. These hacking manuals that you are afraid of are SCIENCE FICTION books, moron. FICTION. To put it into terms you can understand, MADE UP.

5. What the hell is this "DOSing" you speak of? That is not even a computer related term. Fool

6. Oh, god no, not Quake! you make it sound like a designer drug or something. It is a video game, or MADE UP (see number 4 for details on MADE UP)

7. Maybe your son is going through what we in the real world call puberty.

8. ... What the hell is this Lunix. It doesn't even exist.

9. See number 7

10. Maybe your son just needs to become more organized. Look, I am in high school, and I use the computer frequently, yet I still maintain straight A's. Easily. Maybe he should study.

God, I hope you actually DO reasearch next time you post an article, before you single-handedly screw all humanity into that wonderful land of ignorance. Also see stupidity.

Re: you idiot (none / 0) (#6104)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 04:23:42 PM PST
and you my friend, may also want to do your share of research before spouting off. Not that I don't agree that the article is crap. It's just that your information is inaccurate.

5: by DOSing the article writer probably meant "Denial of Service" attacks. Pity he confused the acronym with the acronym for "Disk Operating System".

and in reference to Linux not existing... well this message is being written on a computer running Slackware Linux 8.0, outfitted with the 2.4.13 kernel and LinuxSalute gnome.


This Is A Joke Right? (none / 0) (#605)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:21:19 PM PST
This is some JOKE SITE started by the left to make fun of right wing religious middle-america parnetal units yes? Because nobody in their right mind thinks like this...or do they?

AMD is some third world company? Yeah lots of third world companies are listed on NASDAQ and are headquartered in Silicon Valley. And make better processors than Intel...yeah LOTS of 'em.

Are you a commie if you buy a Honda? A child molester if you buy a doll for your niece? An arsonist if you have matches in your possesion?

Come on people...this is the year 2001 not 1994 and this isn't some Orwellian novel. You can't really think like this...or can you?

AMD is some third world company? Yeah the third world always makes better products than Intel. Sure they do. And day glow colored clothes make you a hacker and engaging in anal sex makes you a deviant...or does it?

My god is this what America is coming to. Look computers are good AND they are bad...or they can be. But just because ur kid uses one more than "the norm" doesn't make them bad. GROW UP PEOPLE!

You cannot stereotype kids who use computers any more than I can stereotype you (who run this site) as some right-wing, neo-nazi, christian fundamentalist idiot who actually believes this crap you are spewing.

Kids are all different and some who ask for computer upgrades may only want to game faster. And they may not even like Quake. Wake up man and join this century and the real human race!!!

you idiot (none / 0) (#607)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:22:11 PM PST
... right.

I cannot believe that this is a serious article. But if it is, I have a problem with every single "serious point" you made.

1. Look, If you think AOL is a reliable internet service provider, you must live under a rock.

2. a. Comet cursor is a program that changes your "cursor" when you are "online". Your cursor is a little pointy thing that moves around your "screen".
b. Bonzi buddy is a freaking digital pet, for cripes sake.
c. Flash allows you to watch "movies" on the "internet" (which I bet you think Al Gore invented)

3. JESUS, AMD is not made in third world countries, and it is not made using child labor. People use AMD processors because they fail less than Intel's processors. Look, I bet you that no one in a third world country even knows what a processor is (apparently, neither do you)

4. These hacking manuals that you are afraid of are SCIENCE FICTION books, moron. FICTION. To put it into terms you can understand, MADE UP.

5. What the hell is this "DOSing" you speak of? That is not even a computer related term. Fool

6. Oh, god no, not Quake! you make it sound like a designer drug or something. It is a video game, or MADE UP (see number 4 for details on MADE UP)

7. Maybe your son is going through what we in the real world call puberty.

8. ... What the hell is this Lunix. It doesn't even exist.

9. See number 7

10. Maybe your son just needs to become more organized. Look, I am in high school, and I use the computer frequently, yet I still maintain straight A's. Easily. Maybe he should study.

God, I hope you actually DO reasearch next time you post an article, before you single-handedly screw all humanity into that wonderful land of ignorance. Also see stupidity.

Is this a joke? (0.50 / 2) (#608)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:23:15 PM PST
I'm sorry, but if this is a real article, than you are neither enlightened or modern. I say this first of all because of the comment about the 17 year old daughter part... I do not think that at the age of 17 wearing makeup and perfume is unacceptable, unheard of, or even semi-uncommon.. and the rest of this article is ludicrous. Mandrake is a linux distro that many people use because Windows and Microsoft have a lot of faults. It is not illegal, and is sold in many stores. Quake is a game, no worse than any action movie being on TV. AOL is not a trusted ISP, they rob people every day (including me years ago when I tried to use them) and it is just as easy to get around AOL security as any other ISP. "Flash" is a common program used for animated graphics. These are not uncommon utilities, and they are far from illegal. You even comment on telnet being bad, when it is used by MANY universities for students to connect and retreive email and other things. I don't think you have much of a clue what you are talking about- and I have doubts that any child can really become something dangerous in under 2 years on AOL. Except perhaps becoming immune to ads and spam. Also.. AMD is one of the best you can get.

Someone please tell me this is a joke. This can't be real!

this lady is smoking crack, and bad crack at that (1.00 / 1) (#610)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:26:26 PM PST
lady, do you realize when you called @home a 'hacker friendly network' , that you commited the crime of libel? and when you made those accuasations at AMD, you commited an act of slander. those are both against the law and you should be ashamed of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you idiot (0.50 / 2) (#611)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:26:28 PM PST
... right. I cannot believe that this is a serious article. But if it is, I have a problem with every single "serious point" you made. 1. Look, If you think AOL is a reliable internet service provider, you must live under a rock. 2. a. Comet cursor is a program that changes your "cursor" when you are "online". Your cursor is a little pointy thing that moves around your "screen". b. Bonzi buddy is a freaking digital pet, for cripes sake. c. Flash allows you to watch "movies" on the "internet" (which I bet you think Al Gore invented) 3. JESUS, AMD is not made in third world countries, and it is not made using child labor. People use AMD processors because they fail less than Intel's processors. Look, I bet you that no one in a third world country even knows what a processor is (apparently, neither do you) 4. These hacking manuals that you are afraid of are SCIENCE FICTION books, moron. FICTION. To put it into terms you can understand, MADE UP. 5. What the hell is this "DOSing" you speak of? That is not even a computer related term. Fool 6. Oh, god no, not Quake! you make it sound like a designer drug or something. It is a video game, or MADE UP (see number 4 for details on MADE UP) 7. Maybe your son is going through what we in the real world call puberty. 8. ... What the hell is this Lunix. It doesn't even exist. 9. See number 7 10. Maybe your son just needs to become more organized. Look, I am in high school, and I use the computer frequently, yet I still maintain straight A's. Easily. Maybe he should study. God, I hope you actually DO reasearch next time you post an article, before you single-handedly screw all humanity into that wonderful land of ignorance. Also see stupidity.

Couple Comments... (0.50 / 2) (#613)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:32:46 PM PST
Are all your comments based on facts or stereo-types... because you may get parents worried for nothing..

here's my two cents...
Quote: "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash"."

I have Comet Cursor.. and it allows me to change my cursor to different flags etc.. this doesnt mean im a hacker.. does it? Bonzi buddy.. which i do not have.. is merely a program that has a little bear on ur screen.. i've seen it advertised on many popular sites!

Im not sure what Flash is..


Quote: "Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards"

Video card have NOTHING to do with hacking.. neither does hard drive space or memory! If you want to play the lastest games.. and u have a Pentium @ 100mhz, with 2gb hard drive and a 4mb video card.. you'll need better hardware.. that doesnt mean you're a hacker..


Quote: "Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers"

Quake is a GAME! You cant hack through a game.. this is a crazy comment by the writer..


quote: "They may carry glow-sticks"

I have glow-sticks.. when i go to dance clubs.. i dance with them.. does that mean im a computer hacker?


Im not a computer hacker, i dont got the time, or energy.. but couldnt i pass as a hacker if u go by your system? You may not agree with me.. but i think you better get ur facts straight

Can you say computer illiterate.... (0.50 / 2) (#619)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:45:01 PM PST
Quake = a training ground?
AMD = hacking chips?
45Mins = more than enough?
Flash, Bonzi BUddy, and Comet Cursor = bad?
lunix? try spelling it right(linux)

what the hell?

I guess I am a pretty bad hacker
i spend hours on my comp. have an AMD CPU, enjoy Quake, have used flash, bonzi buddy, and comet cursor
linux is always better than windows.....


Ehhhhhhe...... (none / 0) (#620)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 07:47:59 PM PST
Are you kidding me dude? All teenagers have drastic mood swings, all teenage guys change their physical appearance. From the evidence you've given me all I can conclude is that YOUR CHILD IS GULLIBLE! He has downloaded HARMLESS PROGRAMS.... Bonzi Buddy is not a hacking tool, it's a friggin annoying monkey that bothers you while you try to type things up.
Mycomet cursor is SO Far from a hacking program. it changes your cursor on screen to some stupid celebrities face or something.

The common belief that video gamers actually KILL has gotten me ticked off. I'm the most polite, non-violent, academically diligent person I know and not only do I use "quake" (Which is a first person shooter videogame NOT a hacking tool) but I play an extraneous amount of videogames.

The thing that worries me most is that you're punishing your son for NOTHING. He is not a hacker, I don't know where you got this idea but maybe you should be doing more research into the subject before you throw around shit like that.

that better not be serious (1.00 / 1) (#623)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:03:57 PM PST
i thoguht taht was funny, but then i realized that whoever rote that might have actually been serious.... lol oh well im off to go "steal songs from somones stereo using "MP3" " and i might even play quake

I bet this guy thinks we're Evil Hackers (none / 0) (#628)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:11:23 PM PST
This guy is so messed up. He is in his own little world! I really hope his kid was messing around with "hacking," because from what he says... It would really suck if that kid was just learning how to use linux and the internet or just playing the 'evil' game, "Quake." I think this guy should go back to watching televangelists, literally interpreting the Bible, and believing everything he sees on TV.

What a fucking idiot (0.50 / 2) (#629)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:12:02 PM PST
First off, telnet is a windows program, used for bisunesses such as McKinzie tank lines. Second, you are fricking stupid. Linux pretty much runs windows. Third: Kill yourself, lord knows you need to, to beilive that crap. Fourth,You watch too much tv

your son is not a hacker. hes got a future (0.50 / 2) (#633)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:15:24 PM PST
look. let him read his hacker manuals. let him change his ISPs (to faster isps AOL IS EXTREMELY SLOW AND OVERPRICED). let him have more ram.

everyone that is anyhting in the computer industry(the smart rich bill gates) has been in the stage your child is going though, and if they havent then they arent really in the computer industry.

break it completely by deleting Windows (0.50 / 2) (#634)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:15:27 PM PST
kakakakaka... as Weid Al Said: Windows95 screwed up my drive

get a life grandpa, technology defintelly is too much for your pre-historic mood

don't let people like that reproduce. (1.00 / 1) (#635)
by blackandcold on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:16:42 PM PST
oh god. thats all i have to say. if someone is really that ignorant, its the end man.

You're an ignorant fool. (none / 0) (#637)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:22:00 PM PST
Although this is bloody hillarious, some ignorant parents might take it seriously.

tsk tsk tsk, you naughty little boy.

Ignorant (0.50 / 2) (#645)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:41:48 PM PST
Listen-- Your post obviously shows what can happen when ignorant, stupid people jump to conclusions, are afraid of what they do not understand, and believe everything they read in the tabloid magazines. I'm sure most of the other posts have rebuked you, and I will too-- you have insulted me with your nonsensical carping, misstated facts, and panic-stricken tone. For those of you who actually believed a single word this person wrote, read on. For everyone else who knows that its crap, close.

Now then. I am 22 years old, a graduate of Cornell University with a Masters degree in Computer Science. I have been using computers since I was 4 (literally). I'm pre-internet generation, using bulletin boards (obviously I'm a communistic, satan worshipping killer, right???). I'm also a hacker. Ooooooh, now before you all vomit from terror, let me explain myself. A "hack" is a clever piece of code. The media (and some 15 year old morons) have tried to steal the name and turn it into something that it is not. A hacker is essentially a computer guru, an expert. Someone who knows a great deal about how they work. More than just "Oh, I know how to use the start menu", or "Yeah, I use Yahoo every day, I'm a computer superstar!".
Bulletin boards were used before everyone got cheap internet access-- "hackers" traded files, stories, experience, and everything else, and all was fine. Things were confined. Sure, some of them broke into banks, etc. Most of them were caught. Those people were criminals, not hackers. Now that everyone's on the internet, you "parents" think that the internet should be a safe, disney-land-like babysitter for your 9 year olds. WRONG! The internet was created essentially by hackers. We own it. Businesses came in, and we let them in. We also let you in. But don't you DARE insinuate that any sort of eduation is inherantly bad. Reading thousands of pages of technical documentation leads to a better hacker, not your credit card number.

Oh, and Comet Cursor isn't a hacking tool. It's a piece of crap program that changes your mouse icon. Do some research before you spit your drabble at us.

-Michael Scovetta

LOL It sounds just like my dad! (3.00 / 2) (#647)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:45:10 PM PST

who the hell does this guy think he is? (1.00 / 1) (#648)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:45:30 PM PST
My god this writer has probably never seen a computer before in his life. i bet he is scared to death of a computer. If this guy is serious he goes to Church too much. lay off the Religion and get with the technology.
own-age - Quake 3 Arena Player

Read between the lines, please! (none / 0) (#6781)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jan 22nd, 2002 at 05:47:40 AM PST
If this guy didn't know anything about computers, where did he get all those LINKS...?

WTF? (1.00 / 1) (#650)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:52:02 PM PST
This is the worst atricle that I have every read in my entire life. Whoever wrote this has no idea what he/she is talking about! I don't even know where to begin with this article. The whole article is wrong and dosen't have a leg to stand on in any way shape or form. The best way to get anything from this useless article is to read each paragraph one at a time, pause and then believe the exact OPPOSITE of what you just read. Its people like the writter of this article that mis-inform the public and frighten them and their children away from the vast amount of knowledge and fun that the internet has to offer.

OMG!!!!!! 1' |\/| 4 |-|4x0r!!!!!! (0.50 / 2) (#652)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:54:47 PM PST
Ok let me get this straight:
Im a hacker because i use Quake?
Im a hacker cause i know how to spell Linux and i know that its based on Unix and that Linus Trovaldis (<--- Place correct spelling there) is a really nice guy?
Im a hacker cause i like techno, wear baggy pants and use glow sticks, own an Nvidia card, have Mirc and the like?

First of all a Hacker is not a malicious programer, thats either a script kiddie or a cracker(correct me if im wrong with the terms), second of all, did you know that millions of computers run on Linux cause its harder to crack and therefore safer?

Let me tell you, im technically a hacker, cause i taught myself how to program, not cause im a destructor (actually im taking morals in computing in school)and i dont consider myself retarded in anyway, my schoolgrades have never dropped (straigh A's), and I play soccer, hockey, basketball, volleyball, i have tons of friends (both sexes), go to parties, and i dont do drugs, nor drink or smoke (although im legally able to do so).

Personally I think that this kind of texts are destructive and only lead to the degradation of education, and ultimately lead to the people that make fun of people that are really good at computers.

Ohh and probably you think that in Mexico we ride horses and drink tequila everyday!!!!!

\/4y4n$3 4 C|-|1n64r 4 $u |\/|4dr3!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡

L0|\|g L1\/3 |-|@x0r$!¡!¡

r@\/3|\| 1|\| d4 |\|16|-|7!!!!!!!!!
Attack life, its gonna kill you anyway!!!!!!!!
-Steven Coalier

parody? (0.50 / 2) (#653)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 08:59:47 PM PST
The first couple of times i skimmed this, i honestly throught it was a satire.

Then i thought about my own parents for a moment, and It occured to me that it could have been my own father writing this (if he could write, that is). While, on the surface, this complete failure to understand anything technical (where to begin..AMDs are faster, more efficient, and cheaper, FLASH is a valuable -marketable- animation tool for web development, sounds like the last computer this guy owned was a TRS-80...but then, he actually bought a compaq, so i guess that says it all), coupled with his unfortunate role as the parent of a young child interested in computers is frustrating and maddening, but then I think back to how my own young life and education panned out. My parents didn't understand anything. They didn't understand enough to trust me to make my own moral judgements, and let me persue knowlege however I saw fit.

But they were dumb, much like this writer. It became a game. Hide programs, hide processes, right under their noses. Know the operating system inside and out. Eventually, I started writing my own loaders and front-ends. The idiocy of my parents caused me to learn to code at a young age out of -nessesity-. Because there was no other way to be free.

And I was free....and I am free...and the lessons I learned on the way weren't those of narrow moral turpitude and willful ignorance that my parents tried to push on me. I learned not to trust luddites. I learned not to trust anyone significantly older than myself. I learned that adults will sacrifice my well-being to satisfy their myopic and vague sense of morality.

I learned to hate them, even though it was their hateful stupidity that gave birth to my genius.

Yes, PARODY! (none / 0) (#6361)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 05:29:37 PM PST
People, people...

Of course it's a parody!

My first reaction: "Nobody is that stupid!" But then, I reconsider, and you are right there. So we go on.

My second reaction: "Nobody can write something this funny by accident", then I remember a classmate who described return from a school trip: "While we were leaving that city, my heart was beating excitedly while I watched it through the window." BUT THEN:

My third and fourth reaction: "Nobody can surf the net and collect that many various links without getting a clue" and "Nobody that lame would know how to make a hyperlink". The article was skillfully written and there are no dumb formatting mistakes that are so often seen in HTML beginners' pages.

I mean, come on, people, this was a hilarious post from a person who obviously knows very well what he's talking about, and avoids doing it just admirably. God, what a bunch of unthinking zombies and lame flamers!

And, do not flame me back! I am a professional Java programmer specialising in hardware control. I can hack into your computer and tell your modem to connect to the net, from there gain control of your keyboard, and then I can fry your monitor *and* your mouse with two half-full lines of JavaScript! You don't want to mess with me!

TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER: Thank you. Your post was great, but the comments are even funnier.

This made me laugh. (1.00 / 1) (#657)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:10:52 PM PST
You sir, are misusing the word "hacker".

A hacker is one who uses his or her extensive knowledge in computers for good.

A CRACKER (which is what your son obviously was), is one who uses his or her knowledge only for malicious acts of cyber-terrorism.

But hey, live and let live. I don't mind hackers, they're generally nice people.

In my honest opinion, this article is trash.

Re: This Made Me Laugh (none / 0) (#1399)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 5th, 2001 at 09:52:33 PM PST
I agree, a hacker only looks into someone's computer, not touching anything in it. In fact, it is the code of the hacker to make sure they dont touch anything on the computer they are hacking.
Other than that though....that is hilarious! This "Lunix" You are referring to is actually called "Linux." It is a very stable OS used to power many servers on the internet and LANS. I fact, Windows of any type is ALOT more unstable than Linux, and having windows on your hard drive for extensive periods of time actually damages it, requiring a reformat and such, not linux.
This "Quake" You are referring to is actually the first truly 3d First Person Perspective Shooter, and is played with friends of have FUN, not talk about hacking. Quake II and Quake III are just sequels of the original Quake GAME. It poses no threat to the one who plays it because it is for fun alone, and can even be a stress reliever (Sure beats the hell out of punching a hole in the wall :D).
AOL isnt the very best service out there, in fact it is the worst to get and it does do damage to your OS just by installing it. In fact, AOL is fighting the courts right now because they believe it is ok to sell the private information of its users to other companies, going against everything they "stand for."
AMD currently has the best processor out now. Intel, when they released the P4, crippled most of it, making it ALOT slower than what it should be. So a Athlon XP 1900 (at 1.6ghz) goes TONS faster than a P4 in anything, except memory applications. And processors dont have these "filters" you said they had, they are just a piece of hardware designed to compute program numbers. It is the SOFTWARE that does the filtering and such.
Hehe, I think this is a joke, not even a complete idiot would think that way about computers. So please, get your facts straight.

You are really a dumb fuck (1.00 / 1) (#659)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:13:29 PM PST
Model Parent? new Video card needed by hackers?? AMD making false chips? Lunix? You mean Linux I guess? Being an illegal operating system?

Jesus Christ I understand why some people want to bomb all USA with planes if there are many assholes like you out there (and Im afraid there are)

ok check this.. (1.00 / 1) (#660)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:13:35 PM PST
hey dude, all the things u jus described...its called becoming a teenager! This era of kids arent like your era, we have a lot more problems to deal with, and most/all of the time, it has nothing to do with hacking...i think u need to do a lot more research on kids before you make some odd statements like u have posted...

al;ktjawtrklhahahahah (0.50 / 2) (#666)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:20:27 PM PST
omg, that has me in tears of laughter

Morons (0.50 / 2) (#670)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:23:24 PM PST
While I don't doubt the effort put in towards raising your son correctly, I must inform you that your are gravely mistaken when it comes to the activites of said "Hackers".

First off, one of your "10 ways" was (not a direct quote) "if your son spends more than 30 minutes on the computer"

I spend upwards of 6 hours on the computer. THIS, not hacking, is the cause of my poor marks in school. The reason why one might see one's children's marks slipping would be extended use of the computer.

True, this extended use may be "hacking", but more likely is "gaming".

I find it laudable that one would relate "quake" to "hacking". Quake was a ground-breaking game when it first came out, giving birth to a plethora of "first-person-shooters" such as Half-life and Unreal Tournament. These games become quite addictive, and can ultimately result in prolonged usage of the computer, and requests for upgrades in hardware.

The only reason you might have come to these hasty conclusions would be if the "research" you had done into "hacking" was all of 10 minutes on your coffee break.

And, by the way, anyone who still uses AOL obviously doesn't know anything relavent about today's computer industry.

-A (by your definition) text-book hacker

I've seen ignorance by my god! (0.50 / 2) (#675)
by digid on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:31:17 PM PST
I've never in my life seen so much ignorance. It makes me utterly sick to my stomach. You have no clue as to what you are talking about, and because of your stupidity your son is grounded. I feel very sad for you and more sad for your son. Perhaps you shouldn't smother you kid to death it will in turn make him reject you even more. I thought this was a JOKE! What type of idiot bans his son from a computer for using NON-CRACKING programs! Perhaps just because he knew more then you on other programs you decided to ban him. The only reason you thought it was hacking is because you had no clue what it was, and of course you jumped to some stupid conclusion it had to do with cracking. I suggest you talk with your son and ask him to explain what these programs are instead of BAN HIM! If I ever had a father like you I simply would kill myself.

hack·er1 (hkr)
n. Informal
One who is proficient at using or programming a computer; a computer buff.

nothing illegal about that!

oh my god. (0.50 / 2) (#676)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:35:22 PM PST
this has to be the most ridiculous thing ive ever witnessed in my life. you make insane stereotyping accusations against random things. you say that people that wear bright clothes and have spikey bleached hair tend to be hackers. that is the stupidest f*cking thing ive ever heard of in my life. if your tiny cranium was capable of possessing an IQ higher than that of 25, you would realize that nearly every teenage boy in america who is caucasian (which i know you are) has spikey bleached hair. and a comment on the bright clothing. u say that they tend to wear bright clothing am i correct? well i see youve just about eliminated about 80 percent of all colors in the world. what color shirt are you wearing as*hole? blue? then i SUPPOSE that could be considered bright am i correct? YOU ARE A HACKER. stupid cracker. do you see the stereotyping you have brought yourself to do? do you want ur kid to dress in all black? so he can be a goth and shoot up the school? which would you prefer? i think you are a suburbian over-protective SUV driving middle aged soccer dad hypochondriac who doesnt know a damn thing about the digital age. OPEN YOUR EYES AND YE SHALL SEE. imbecile.perhaps if your intelligence surpassed that of KRAFT MAYONAISE you could make valuable decisions of your own. 45 minutes on the computer? ur f*cking insane. pull ur ugly balding head out of your d*mn sphyncter so you can get a glimpse of the real world. DUMB F*CK.

OMG, my Grandma knows more about computers! (1.00 / 1) (#681)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:38:03 PM PST
I believe that very soon, this article will be spread around on all fourms across the net.. and you'll see how <b>WRONG</b> this article is. I'm telling everyone I know.. I can't stop laughing!!!

Just wait till <i>they</i> get here...


Re: Is you son a computer hacker (0.50 / 2) (#686)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:45:04 PM PST
To: T Reginald Gibbons

I have carefully read through your post, and I believe you are a little confused about alot of things. I am going to go over many things so please be patient. First off, no I did'nt grow up in the greatest household (who does?). So lets not bring family, upbringing, or social inadequacies <sp?> into this. I have been a part somehow of "the computer underground" I guess you could call it for around 10+ years. I currently am involved with network security and system administration as a job. Before I delve into my post/reply/complaint let me define a few terms for the general audience and you.

Hacker: Geez, this seems to be one of the most overused, misunderstood term in the world today. A hacker is many things. A thinker is the first term that comes to mind. So does entusiast/hobbiest, inventor, and radical. There are many types of hackers. Some common hackers we run into every day are mechanics. A hacker is one who wants to experiment, to learn more about something than the creator. This term originated from the Model train railrode club (i could be wrong on the specific name) at MIT in the 60's? When you made a 'hack' you made an improvement to the railroad. A *real* computer hacker, wants to understand everything about computers. Hacking is a learning process. This term has been misused by the world and mostly misued by the media. Hackers are not evil people.

Cracker: Here is the term that people are usually referring to when they say hacker. A cracker is someone that breaks into computer systems for fun and/or profit. Crackers are usually known as script kiddies. People that use automated scripts to expose security vulnerabilities in computer programs. These scripts are readily available with a simple web search. These scripts are good things. Without these vulnerabilites and security mailing lists vendors would be releaseing insecure products and the world would have very weak networks. So lets look at websites like security focus and packetstorm as tools, not as the devils sandbox.

Now with those terms out of the way lets get on with a few things.


1. has your son asked you to change isps?

First of all. All isp's are hacker friendly. Remember hacking is a learning process. A simple web search is usually a quest for a peice of information to better your knowledge about something. The internet is a tool. use it like one. second, no isp is cracker-friendly. Crackers create problems for thier targets as well as the provider they come off. It all turns into a mess, and everyone is usually in the middle of it.

2. Are you finding software installed on your computer that you don't remember installing?

If by hacker applications you mean reading material. be happy your children are reading. If you mean cracking software like back orifice or l0phtcrack. Research the product and discuss thier uses with your kids. do not jump to conclusions about something.

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?

I see nothing wrong with this. There is no need in wanting something better. We all wish at times our computer was a little fast or we had a bigger hard drive. Everyone likes thier toys, and everyone wants to improve them where improvments are due. one of the greatest thing about computers are thier flexibilities.

4. Does your child read hacking manuals.

There are no hacking manuals. There are no "hacking cookbooks." Noone can teach someone how to learn. Its a natural process. As far as cracking manuals. They do not exist either. Nobody can give you a rundown how to crack a machine, it is something one must learn. You have a few book titles listed here, 2 caught my eye. The first was "programming in perl" published by o'rieley which is an excellent book to learn about the perl programming langauge. There is absolutly nothing wrong with being a computer programmer. The pay is great, and it can be lots of fun. The second is "hackers" by steven levy. You should read this book. This book is what *real* hacking is about. You could probably get more out of that book than this reply. Again, please research things before you rag on them.

5. How much time does your child spend on the computer.

Everyone needs to get out once in a while. But everyone has interests they are passionate about. Cooks spend years in kitchens, jocks spend years playing sports, and computer people spend years on a computer. Get over it and deal.

6. Does your son play quake?

Quake is a game. Like all games, it is a release from reality. There is no "training ground" as you so call it. You say quake trains kids how to use weapons. Most of the weapons in quake are fictional.

7. Is your son becomming argumentitive and/or surley in his behavior.

All sons become argumentitive, and so do all daughters. Its called adolecence and everyone goes through as did you.

8. Is your son obsessed with "lunix"?

"lunix". I have no idea where you came up with this one. First it is LINUX. Second linux was written by Linus Torvalds whom is swedish I believe. There is nothing illegal or soviet about him. Linux is released under the GNU licence and is all open source which means all source code is included with the distribution. PLease refer to for any information you are looking for pretaining to it. Linux is a great operating system. Like all of the unix-like operating system it is flexible which is a great plus that it has over windows. It is also free. Check out the website and then you can take your foot out of your mouth.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

Appearance has nothi g o do with computer ability. The glow sticks and pacifiers that you talk about with baggy pants are something that ravers usually all have in common as dress goes. Hackers generally dress for comfort. However just about everyone wears baggy pants. Do not classify ones interests by the way they dress.

10. Is your son struggling accademically?

Alot of people struggle accademically. generally speaking hackers do not. They are motivated people. People that struggle in school usually have learning dissabilities or just have no interest in it.


Now, I have gone over all 10 of your points that supposedly makes someone a hacker or a cracker, or whatever you feel like calling them, whatever.

However, I do recommend that before you make another post like that you reearch some things and start doing some reading yourself before you rag on an entier culture that in 50+ years old.

You can contact me for any comments, or stewed cabbage at:

Educated comment.. (1.00 / 1) (#695)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:54:25 PM PST
The author of that article must be the most ignorant individual alive.

NARROW MINDED WOMAN (0.50 / 2) (#697)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 09:57:18 PM PST
There's not much really required to say here.

Besides from the fact that your facts are false,
your theory is illogical and i'm bloody glad i am not your son.

PS: Your ignorance will be your downfall

f3yd, #OldWarez Crew 2001

A Few Hints For Other Concerned Parents (none / 0) (#704)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:04:22 PM PST
To those of you who claim this divinely inspired article is stupid, I must disagree, pray for your soul, and claim the only stupidity here is to be found in the comments from ignorant posters.

To assist in the Crusade against Hackerism, here is a hacker tip, which I read about in Time Magazine:

Some computer hackers will type all of their letters one key to the left. For example:
Jesus becomes Hwaya. This is called Machine Language, and is used to achieve the DOS line, as discussing in Gibbon's article.

If you see your child using a keyboard in this manner, be sure to reprimand them and prevent them from using the computer until they've confessed to their priest.


Shocked Disbelief... (0.50 / 2) (#708)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:09:41 PM PST
Was this post a joke? It sounds serious to the point where it's funny but if you completely meant every word of it I'm truly frightened...

All but #4 have nothing to do w/hacking. 1, 2, and 3 are what anyone is going to ask for once they realize that there are better programs ect out there. I asked for a computer upgrade for christmas because my computer isn't fast enough to run certain new computer games (their graphics are too good). I mean...Flash is something I use for school projects when PowerPoint is too limited and CometCursor is a place where you can get HTML coding so that a person's cursor will change when they visit your website (or you can download the program and set it to your computer defaults). For 5, I spend quite a bit of my day on the computer, checking e-mail, chatting, playing games *and* doing my HW but I'm not a hacker... The only thing I know how to do is put a firewall up :-p to STOP hackers. I don't know much about Quake so I'm forced to not address 6 at all. 7 and 9 are, I'm sorry to say, normal teenage things :-/. I know I've given my mother many a hard time w/out meaning to, just because I felt she was being repressive...or going against something she wanted (i.e. mode of dress) because I wanted an identity individual from her. Yes there are teenage hackers out there who are anti-social but, honestly, the anti-social ones mostly had bad child-hoods (they were teased in elementary school) or they have bad homelives, rather than doing it just because they hack. Friends of mine have Linux on their parents' computer just because their processor isn't compatable w/Windows (it's too big *grin*) so there goes #8 and 10 can be any number of reasons from too much computer (sad to say but it does happen, just not from hacking...), too much time w/friends, plan ol' not doing HW, skipping school to hang out, ect ect ect. Any number of reasons could 'cause a teen to fail at school, hacking is a very small part of it (most hackers are smart enough to at least keep an appearance of grades up so their parents don't ban them from the computer).

I really am trying to see this from your side (if you're serious and not joking like I think...) but I honestly can't understand where you're going with it :(

If you are serious though, I am rather insulted, as a teenager that loves the computer because i can play games that are interactive (CS, D2, EQ, StarCraft), chat w/my friends (it's easier to do HW in a chat room w/6 or 7 people from your class than on the phone w/someone else who doesn't know what they're doing either), keep in touch w/my dad & step-mom and other relatives on the east coast (i live w/my mom and step-father in CA) over e-mail, and any number of other, innocent things you can do on a PC.

computer hackers (0.50 / 2) (#710)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:10:37 PM PST
I am a senior in high school, graduating under the pretense of a technology student. I would like to say that I was thouroughly outraged upon reading this article. Whoever wrote this is by far the most idiotic person I have ever had the displeasure of communitcating with on any level. Perhaps some research into any of the thoughts that crossed your mind would have made you realize the falsehood of almost every statement in your article. For instance, AMD is evil? I am a computer repair technichian and network maintence assistance for a public school district, and I know for certain that AMD is not evil. AMD stands for Advanced Micro Devices, and the company is based is Sunnyvale, CA. Last time I checked, Califonia was part of the USA, but I may be mistaken, I mean I am only an Advanced Placement United States History student. On another note; Flash is not a hacker tool. It is a standard plug-in for any machine with the internet. At work (in a public school) I am often ordered to install flash on computers so that the students can learn from more internet resources. Ok, here is another flaw; Telnet is included with MS Windows. It is part of windows, and does require a phone connection. I can see countless errors in this complete uneducated writing, but one that is really bothering me is Quake. I hate to break it to you buddy, but Quake is a game. that's it. It is a computer game. I think the real problem with your son is you. You are a psychotic and smothering parent who is obviously paranoid and complete unreasonable. Chill out, before your kid flips out and we have another instance of the Menendez case. You are a complete dolt. ~signed: an outraged citizen who thinks some people should not have the right to procreate~

hahahhahahaaha (0.50 / 2) (#714)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:20:03 PM PST
if my father sees this than his son (me) is going to become a "hacker"

i gotta print this

c yah

What a TOOL (0.50 / 2) (#715)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:20:24 PM PST
HAHAHA title says it all this is guy is a utter waste of space on planet earth, I feel sorry for his family and friends assuming he has any who knows they might use something like icq or god forbid irc!

good grief i don't think i can read all this.. (0.50 / 2) (#718)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:32:28 PM PST
STUPIDITY.... whoever wrote this article and all the people siding with him have got to be the largest group of people able to add up their iq to less than that of mayo! (if they could add that is) How can people with this kind of lack of intelligence actually succeed at having kids? Much less keeping them alive past infancy.

*Disclaimer* I only got halfway down the replies before i couldn't take anymore this is my resposne based on that

I run an ISP. I am a hacker (the true version). I am NOT, I REPEAT NOT, a cracker. My boss likes me being a hacker. It means I know what I am doing and help prevent security breeches and system failures.

Video cards have NOTHING to do with hacking. The best hacking/cracking is done through a unix system at the CLI, not a GUI. (ouch hope i'm not using to many high level words for you).

Techno is so NOT hacker related. I know people that hate computers that spin techno.

AOL BITES! I can refer you to atleast 20 people that are respected members of my community and not very computer literate that know this. Ohh and you can use telnet with AOL, ecspecially if you are a hacker/cracker.

Yes, programming helps in hacking/cracking, but guess what... everything on your computer was programmed by someone... INCLUDING Micro$oft. Ohh no the world is going to end... we might as well shut off every computer in the world cause they have all been touched by a hacker. Who knows what information is leaking around about you? Just imagine tha ATM you used earlier? Or that site where u secretly bought that porn you swear only geeks obsess about, THEY TOLD ME ABOUT YOU mwahahaha *rolls eyes in disgust* Come on...

It is this kinda of blatant ignorance that will lead to the downfall of society.


Hackers = bad? (none / 0) (#720)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:34:34 PM PST
Hey all you ppl go may be old...but the concept is the same

A breakdown (0.50 / 2) (#721)
by B4UTRUST on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:34:52 PM PST
First off, this post is so full of misinformation that the only thing I can pray for is that this is a huge joke on dear Reginald's behalf and he is attempting to cause an uproar which has happened. If not;

Lord of the uninformed, thy name is T Reginald Gibbons.

First off, lets lay down a few simple facts which you have overlooked in your "expert" knowledge of all things hacker.

Numero Uno; A hacker is not someone who breaks into a computer for malious intent, but to garner information to increase his knowledge. Not to blackmail, not to destroy, hurt or intentionally harm anyone, but to learn. The definition that you have described is that of a cracker, a malious person who breaks into computers with the intent of destroying systems, information, data or stealing it to sell to others.

Number Two, the books you named in your point 4, which include "Cryptonomicon" and "Snow Crash", by Neal Stephenson are not hacker's manuals, and in fact have very little on the whole dealing with hackers, much less explaining how to do it. In your infinite wisdom if you bothered to read the books you'd understand this. They are cyberpunk FICTION, not hacker's manuals.

Number 3, It's LINUX, based off the UNIX system which never had even a passing aquaintance with the Virus you call Windows. Deleting it causes HD(Hard Drive for those of you without two brain cells) errors and harms it? Since when is this? And since when is it illegal considering 97% of all major businesses and corporations including the U.S. Government use it for backbone servers and terminals. But I forget myself in dealing with those who are unenlightened and still believe the Propaganda of Gates. You see, Linux is a stable operating system that works and doesn't malfunction, error out, crash or totally slag your system if you so much as look at it. Plus, unlike the capitalistic Microsoft Virus, it's free.

4. AMD is a superior product to your wintel systems by all definitions and designs and if your son wanted one for his system it's only to have a more powerful and more stable system.

5. Bonzi-Buddy, Comet Cursor, Flash are hacker programs? Now this is a first for me. Since when did a program to change the shape of your cursor become a hacker program? And since when did a multimedia program designed to create new visual entertainment in the web world become the tool of the dark side? As for Bonzi-Buddy, it's just an waste of HD space.

6. Apparel. Bright clothing, Pacifiers, glow-sticks. Sounds more like fetish then hacker. Glow-sticks and bright clothing are typical for those of the punk rocker, ska, or other closely related groups. Pacifiers...have yet to see those. To my knowledge, my hackers generally perfer dark colors with a catchy design emblazened across the back.

7. Accidemic decline. this is an interesting one. If he preforms poorly on sports teams he must be a hacker because every all-american lad is quite adept at any number of sports from tennis to basketball to baseball, golf, bowling, soccer, racket ball, boxing, wrestling and swimming and let us not forget football and him still being the head of the debate team and the chess team. *rolls his eyes* Yes, we all are like that aren't we? *points out bitter dripping sarcasam* As for classroom achievement, perhaps, but not always, it is the teacher. In some cases it's the material presented, or the way it's presented. Sometimes it's just the class itself, or that the student is so bored with the class because he does know something more then the regular Joe Average that he slacks off. Perhaps this is a cry for attention to you the parent to notice him as a person and not as an onamental figure which you obviously do to your children. When I read your post, after throwing up my dinner, I picture you in your suburban home in america, two cars, wife, kid, etc. And when those party guests come over it's always "This is my Son Johnny who recently got an A on his history report and my daugter Susie who is the best writer in her class. Isn't that nice?" Now that is child abuse.

You say because your son is slipping in grades or didn't make first string he's associating with a high class hacker group hellbent on world domination and must be stopped no matter the cost. Here's a little bit of information for you, Mr. Average America. The chances of your child making it into a prestegious hacker group or society is less then you winning the lottery. In the world of the bit and the baud you and your son are about as adapt as a dog is as flying. And unless your child starts programming C++ in his sleep and deciphering 128bit encryption keys over breakfast chances are this isn't the case.

Next on the list: Quake. Quake is a video game created by ID Software that lets you portray the role of a person going around in first person shooting things with guns. I reiterate one word from the previous statement; GAME. If you think this is a virtual reality that is used as a common spawning pool to plot the destruction of governments you're sorely mistaken. Quake is, while I admit pointless and rather stupid, a game. The only hacking going on there is with a chainsaw. And you want to try to bring this up to your child's school? Jesus H.P. Christ in a Macintosh! What type of parent are you? Not only are you about as ignorant as a todler when it comes to things binary, you want to socially ostrasize your child, make everyone including faculty, staff and peers hate him, fear him and whisper things behind his back.

And with things like that and thinking in such ways you wonder why your child suddenly becomes defensive around you? Doesn't want you near them? Hell, I wouldn't want you near me either for fear you'll try to destroy something else of mine. But after socially killing him what is destroying his home life as well? My my...perfect parent indeed.
Do you take one lump with your hipocracy, or two?

Changing ISPS? Hmmm...lets see here...change from AOL, an ISP which takes you forever and a day to sign on to, gives you 5 minutes online then boots your sorry butt off. And you enjoy this? *rolls his eyes again* And for your information, security on AOL is about as protective as you logon password for windows. I.E. Hit Cancel. *shakes his head* AOL is one of the biggest breeding grounds for Warez Puppies and Toolz Kiddies that I have ever seen. And look up those definitions if you can't figure them out for yourself.

New hardware as a sign of a hacker. Well golly, if that's all it takes my dad must be a hacker and so must be my little brother...

I mean my dad was only in the Air Force for 20+ years serving his country as a communications tech, but now that he wants to upgrade his system to a larger harddrive to allow him to install the new games he bought he's a hacker. Wow, I'm sure he'll love that. *dry laughter* And my brother requesting more RAM for his computer so his game will play faster and quit lagging, but because of his request, he's a hacker too.

And now, reading back over some of your finer points, I again laugh hysterically.

To quote a paragraph;
"These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone."

Telnet runs on windows, is it a hacker program then too? And I'm going to break into my stero system across the room using my computer that isn't hooked up in any way to my computer much less the same power circut. Yup...sure am...gonna go crash NASDAQ with a cellphone and overthrow the government with my clock radio. *nods* Yup...sure am... right after I steal non-existant credit cards right off your system. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker? Extremely gifted programmer perhaps. Perhaps he is a hacker, if using the term as it was originally used back at MIT when computers were coded by hand each time and people developed programming shortcuts called "hacks".

And whats this about DOSing into someone's system? DOS, which is Disk Operating System, would be the stupidest thing in this modern age for someone to attempt to hack with. I mean I can remember telnet hacking alright but never DOS hacking... Ummm...the command prompt your little boy blunder is trying to hack his way into is the base underlying system of your computer.

And as for the argument in the comments about Female Hackers on a whole. There are quite a few out there, more then you would think, and as for the bit about scene whores, I've never seen that happen myself but if you have all the more power to ya. Female Hackers inferior to Male Hackers? And why is this? Because we as a society can not accept the possibility that a human without a penis is capable of doing anything better then those with one. *laughs softly to himself* Hate to tell you but I know quite a few female hackers that would send your 'puter into meltdown for the meer indication that you thought males were superior to them. While yes, there are males that are superior to them I'm sure, I'm also sure that they are superior in skill to quite a few male hackers and crackers out there.

And in conclusion of this drawnout trite discussion of the lack of intelligence brought forth in this post, I say this. If you brought your son or daughter a 'puter for christmas, and they become infatuated with how it works chances are they're not becoming hackers but learning a useful thing in today's society. Technology is growing and if you think because your child spends to much time on something they enjoy that you should cut them off, then I feel sorry for you when your child is 25 and still living at home because instead of that cushy job in Cali working for $100k a year they're stuck working at McDicks asking "Do you want fries with that?" Who do I blame on that guessed it...Mom and Pop.

The chances of your child becomming a cracker, much less a hacker, are astronomical. The hacker of old, the true hacker, the keyboard cowboy, the silcon samurai is gone mostly. There are a few of the good ole boys and girls left kicking. Mostly the net, vast and infinite as it is, is filled with the Hapless Technoweenie, the Warez Kiddie, the Toolz Puppy and the Prog Pirate who just found a neat script that a real hacker took hours to program and suddenly thinks he's the next best thing to sliced bread.

Have fun Mr. and Mrs. Joe Average, and remember these simple words. The problem with the hacker isn't with your son or's with you. It starts with you and will only end when they are rid of the likes of you. So before you go off accusing society, the internet, and everyone else, take a look in the mirrior and see if the problem really isn't with you.

Where do you get off man?? (1.00 / 1) (#722)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:35:21 PM PST
THIS IS BULL. Oh yeah, you really did your research buddy. Lunix? LUNIX!!! IT"S LINUX!!! Man, and that whole AOL stuff, they dont want to change to get off the parental control, thats easy. They want to change because it just sucks. Lokk, its not because your son or daughter is going to sites like Warez or other hack site that its gonna make them a hacker. They are just learning a few tricks to the net. It's fun, and as long as they know what they are doing, then you have nothing to worry about.In fact, I beleive you should even sit down with your son, and learn a bit from him. You might like it....

AMD (1.00 / 1) (#725)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:38:25 PM PST
ok buddy for one thing amd has nothing to do with hacking, and chips have nothing to do with security the just run what you tell them to do. Also alot of stores such as FutureShop and Staples do use this chip in there comuters, becuase there faster and ther kick the crap out of intel.So just cuz your son download some programs didn't make amd the devil

thank you

hacking? um....... (0.50 / 2) (#728)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:40:53 PM PST
I grant that your intentions were grand, but you should have researched deeper into this before you started knocking good things.

Every ISP offers some sort of internet filtering. AOL is not the best ISP and if your child wants to change its because he like most of the computer world that AOL really stands for America Offline due to slow connection spead and bad tech support. Lots of internet sites and other programs or patches and upgrades that you download online come with comet Curser and Bonzi Buddy or Flash, it doesnt make your child a hacker.

If your child is getting into computers you are going to be asked to upgrade to better running, faster, and more storage holding harware devices. AOL itself does not delete previouse versions of itself, meaning it can kill many GB's of space on a computer.

Now your knocking of AMD is just wrong, AMD makes quality products. Most older computers ran of the K-6 or K-12 chipset. Even today lots of computers are running the AMD chip due to faster speads and more reliability. Intel does make a decent processor, but they are much harder to get running at full spead, that and they cost more than they should.

The time a child spends on a comptuer relates to what they are doing on it, I myself being a gamer and animator and video editor spend lots of time on the computer. Just because I am on my machine for most of the day does not make me a hacker. If I had a 45 minute limet to the time on my computer I would be failing school, and I do plan on going farther than a high school education.

Quake, quake is the first in a three part serries of VIDEO GAMES. People dont go into it to train, they go there to play and relax. I play all three versions of quake, I go to play and enjoy myself. Along with the many other games I play and the clan I play with online.

If your childs social outlooks and behavior turn to what you said I sudgest thearpy.

Lunix is not a hacker operating system. Its got a wide variety of uses, and is very dependable. The main uses I know of are to controll a few rendering farms, online servers etc... "the only way to get this off your system is to send your computer back to the manufacturer" I built my own computer, my manufacturer is me, and I recimend format c:\ or fdisk from dos.

Just because a person changes the way they look does not make them a bad person. It could just be their own way of expressing themselves. Just because a person is getting bad grades does not mean they are a hacker. English and math have never been my best subject, and im not passing them with straight A's. but I am passing.

I'm also not fat or overweight, I can out run quite a few people, and was tempted to join the school track team, but I have no spair time for this.
Over all I find your post rather funny and worth a good laugh. Everyone that I sent to this post laughed for a while about it. Your intentions about keeping kids away from pornography and other worthless things that are on the internet were good. You did not research as much as you think if your chalking the affore listed programs and harware to hacking.

Hackers (1.00 / 1) (#729)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:45:55 PM PST
You're a fucking moron.

OMG (1.00 / 1) (#730)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:48:54 PM PST
is this a comedy site ???
cuz thats sooo fuckn funny

Shows how misleaded some people are (0.50 / 2) (#732)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:50:59 PM PST
So your major points are...

- Macromedia, the world's leading hacker software producer, released a new hacking aplication: Flash5!
AMD chips are produced in evil sweat shops where little children design and produce CPU with their bare hands... poor, poor children...
Quake: Where you learn to use firearms and plot attacks against the government.
AOL, the best ISP ever.
Only hackers buy new hardware. If you are not a hacker you should use 386 w/ 28k modems and no video card, because only hackers need video cards as well as HDs and RAM.

I seriously hope that this "article" was a joke...

Please read this (0.50 / 2) (#733)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:52:13 PM PST
If this site was a joke, stop reading. Job well done, sir. Very well done. *HIGHFIVE* If it's not, read on.

Hello. I'm a nineteen year old college student. I am studying Computer Science in one of the best programs in the nation, so I know a little bit about computers. I've been into computers all my life and I know what I'm talking about.

First off, the reason your site is getting so much attention is not hackers using pearl scripts searching for key words. It has absolutely nothing to do with or hackers. The attention is because people who know computers read your site. Those people became either infuriated or confused as to whether it was a joke or not and gave the link to other people. Those people gave the link to more people and it just kind of exploded. (I personally read about this on a popular message board (SA))

Why do they become infuriated? That's simple. It's because your site contains nothing but ignorance and misinformation.

Ok, let me go through step by step.

1. AOL is a very bad ISP. It probably suits your needs, but I would go nuts if I was forced to use it. Your son is interested in computers. For him to nurture that interest, he would have to be somewhere other than AOL.

Also, back in the day (a couple of years ago) AOL used to be a hackers paradise. By hacker, I mean the way you define a hacker (a destructive, morally corrupt, technologically adept person). People would steal other people's accouts and use programs called "proggiez" that could put the power of god at your sons hands (well, not god, but you get the picture)

2. Comet Cursor is a program that is usually installed without the users knowledge. You go to a website with Internet Explorer, a dialog box pops up. If you click "Yes," the program is installed. It is what people call "spyware." I bet your son didn't even know what it was when you confronted him. The program is harmless. Flash (assuming it's Macromedia Flash) is just another program. It helps you view animations on the internet.

Installing other programs is OK. It just adds functionality to your computer. Heck, most "hacking" programs you find will not show up in the add/remove dialog box.

3. I always want new hardware. Better, faster, bigger. The blurb about AMD makes me think this site is a joke, because I don't know where you'd find information like that. My machine right now has an AMD processor. In my opinion, AMD makes much better processors than pentium. The faster video card is probably for Quake, but I'll get to that later.

4. Most of the books you listed are simply about hacking. They will tell you about the culture, that is all. If you read any of those, you still would not know how to hack. They are not manuals. Heck a lot of them are works of fiction.

Programming in Pearl is about programming, not hacking. Some of hacking is programming, true, but it's a subset. On my shelf right now is a programming in C book, a programming in C++ book, 2 programming in java books, a programming in Win32 API book, and a programming in DirectX book. Am I a hacker? no.

5. I used to spend hours on my computer. Oh, and DOSing wouldn't take 8 hours to do. It would take weeks and weeks of preparation (probably months). Once you get to that point though, it would take under a minute at your computer to take a site down. The preparation time wouldn't be spent all at your home computer either.

6. I've been playing Quake for years and haven't heard a thing about hacking. It's a video game, that is all.

The faster video card thing was probably for better performance in the game.

7. Your son is justified in his actions as there was no problem.

8. umm... it's linux, not lunix. It's just another operating system. It's like windows, but better in certain ways. Hey alright, you got the LILO part right.

9. hahaha, this is definetely a joke. Also, so you know, you can't link to geocities. You've got to copy and paste the link in your browser to see the image. There is no way you could have mixed hackers and Ravers randomly like that.

10. umm.... no.

ok... conclusion, your son was just trying to learn about computers, nothing more. There were no ill intentions, he just wanted to learn and play games. I think it's horrible that you stopped him for the reasons that you did. If his grades were hurting, then you've got something to go on, but that's about it.

also... don't bother trying to learn about this stuff anymore. You'll never understand it. You could spend your entire life trying, but you'd fail.

again, if this is a joke, job well done, sir. I'm writing this mostly for any concerned parents who may be reading your site.

Oh, and, other than all this computer stuff, I think you're a really really bad parent.

There are several facts that the article has wrong (2.00 / 3) (#735)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:56:08 PM PST
(1) AMD is a company based in California (like Intel) they have been competing with Intel since the early 1990's. Several large computer manufacturers use AMD chips instead. They are not illegal, have a full set of valid US patents. They are a huge company, not as large as Intel but huge. There web site is, and in many cities one can buy their CPU's at the local computer shops, including the larger stores in California like Fry's.

(2) Linux was devolped by a Finnish programmer, Linus Tolvardos. Moreover it was devoloped, and still is being devolped, by a large international community. Large computer companies like IBM openly support Linux, infact they have pledged over one billion dollars to it. Linux is based off of Unix, an operation system devoloped at AT&T. There are many operation systems based off of Unix, including OpenBSD, FreeBSD, SunOS. OpenBSD and FreeBSD are also devolped, like Linux, under the free software foundation. They are available for free, and do not crash anywhere near as much as Windows., an internet based e-mail site run by Microsoft, uses FreeBSD, as it is much more stable and secure against hacking than Windows operation systems.

(3) Programming in Perl is a book to learn the computer language, Perl. It is often described as the "duct-tape" of the internet. One should encorage your children to learn these skills, they have the potential to lead to interesting and high paying jobs.

(4) If Linux is on your system, one can easily remove it _without_ any damage to any of your hard-drives, however, I strongly suggest against that, use it and learn from it. Linux is a flavor of Unix, and when one learns how to use it, one gets a better idea on how computers really work. (to remove Linux, boot into windows, go to "MS-DOS prompt" run fdisk.. go to display partion information, look for a partion which is not understood by fdisk, eg it wil say "NON-DOS" partions. Remove them to remove all non-Microsoft
operation systems, then exit from it, and type "fdisk /MBR" this will also remove lilo.)

Unbelievable (1.00 / 1) (#736)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 10:56:30 PM PST
This can't possibly be a real article. It seems to contain the exact amount of misinformation laced with utter bullshit needed to send most readers into fits of uncontrollable laughter. The links are what set this little job apart, since they seem to be so absolutely random yet contrived. Kudos to the author.

at a loss....... (2.00 / 3) (#741)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:02:23 PM PST
I've been looking for some new sites to check every nite when I get off work
Gotta say that this one fascinates me no end
I've signed up for a user name, haven't recived confirm yet so I'll go anonymous for now.....
As an "informed parent" myself I have no idea where you get your information
I'm not a geek but I know my computer better than my kids
Some of your observations are a little paranoid as to improving system performance.
If you went out and bought a new computer today you would have some of the things you warn against.
One thing I've learned about being a parent, when you TELL your kids you know more than they do you lose all ablity to talk to them.....
Best to be a little stupid....(ever pay attention to how spys get information in the movies ?)
All things considered, being a concerned parent is a good thing...
just remember how much attention YOU paid to your parents at that age, that and the fact that YOU thought you knew more than your parents did.
Get a little creative and do some research...I guess my message is get involved in what they are doing rather than condeming it because you don't understand it or don't want to understand it.

Oh my god...... (1.00 / 1) (#747)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:26:50 PM PST
This is by far the most atrocious, god awful, unfactual and painfully funny thing i have ever read in my life. Whoever wrote this is a comic genius, and if your serious, I would recommend seeking psychological help quickly.
Hack The Planet! or.. just hack AOL or microsoft...

OH MY GOD! THERE IS A NED FLANDERS!!!! (1.00 / 1) (#754)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:36:03 PM PST
You. You are the stupidiest computer around. The kind of guy all tech support crew members love to hate. And the very kind they make fun of every single minute of the day. You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, and AOL ownz your sorry ass...

BUT you're right. You are SO RIGHT *cough* *cough* *sarcasm* You know what? What you say is just part of a bigger picture. THEY'RE COMING... Yes they are, be afraid. They've managed to control kids like that son of yours, and soon they'll take over intel and others and there'll be no end... Quick... I SAY,QUICK!!! They're hacking your system NOW!!! DAMMIT PLUG THE PHONE LINE OUT!!! THROW AWAY THE COM!!! CALL CYRIX UP AND GET A 386!!! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!!!

Idoits of the hippie era (1.00 / 1) (#755)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:38:38 PM PST
First things first who do you think you are Al Gore. You think you know every thing about computers ever sience you did some studing well heres a rude awaking AMD dose not use third world countrys to make there CPUs they are the best cpu maker in the US for gamming. A video card dose nothing for DOS profromance it uses two colors black and white it will not improve the proformance of the the operating sys. Linux is free and was not developed in russua it was devloped Off the Unix Kernal and was devloped in the United States. Also may be your son knows how shitty MIcrosoft Windows is and thats why he wants to use a more stable OS like linux. Your son most likey wants faster internet conection because aol is the slowest isp int world and in my mind is crap because they sell your Email address to every vendor on the net. If I were your son i would tell you to pull your head out of your ass and start going to some computer classes

I like it (1.00 / 1) (#756)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:39:28 PM PST
This is some great stuff!
I like it :D

ummm (1.00 / 1) (#758)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:40:30 PM PST
I think he was talking about Lunix. :P

What the heck is going on here? (2.00 / 3) (#761)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:46:42 PM PST
I don't know what to make of this. Is this a joke? Is a forum for authors to post technology related jokes?

I've lost so many brain cells trying to understand what the author is trying to convey I feel sick. "Xenix" was created by microsoft and the US Government?? AMD is made without 'anti-hacking' components?

Someone from PLEASE email me or respond to this post with a couple of answers.

I'm so confused its almost as funny as this horrible article.


P.S. The author of this peice could benefit from a few basic physical concepts of entropy, radiation, the the effects of the small amounts of electromagnetic radiation that computer monitors and televisions have on the human eye.

shhh (1.66 / 3) (#762)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:47:25 PM PST
Yes, Quake is absolutely the greatest hacker environment out there now. With it I managed to kill, or in absolute Quake language, FRAG many innocent lives, all without even making physical contact with them. It is an incredible piece of software. Quake 3 is the best of all. Artificial intelligence to train up your hacking skills and to guide you before you emerge as a l337 h4x0r. It just seems so.. hmm... UNREAL. KILL

When did you lose all touch with reality? (1.00 / 2) (#764)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:49:22 PM PST
What the fuck does new hardware have to do with hacking, jackass?

"I need a new mouse, Dad"
"Jimmy! You're a hacker. GET IN YOUR ROOM!" stupid fuck. How can you be so ungodly dumb. Sterilise yourself and your children. We can't have you breeding anymore.

Me = PC Tech, You = IMBECILE!

damn... (1.00 / 1) (#765)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:52:36 PM PST
It's great to be involved in your family life.. but if you have time to notice how other people dress, certain games people play online for FUN, and get paranoid thoughts about all of have WAAAYYYY too much time on your hands.. i hope this article was a joke.. if not.. then damn.. i feel sorry for whoever wrote this.. you should go see a psychologist....

T Reginald Gibbons, you are wrong (1.00 / 1) (#766)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 3rd, 2001 at 11:54:02 PM PST
E-mail me at and I'll show you the truth.

Correction! (2.00 / 3) (#772)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:11:06 AM PST
Dear Mr. Reginald Gibbons,

I agree with almost every point you listed, and I too have now enforced a "30-minute limit" policy on my children at home in regards to daily computer usage. However, there are some minor points I would like to correct.

1. With respect to changing Internet Service Providers, the only current one nowadays that actually supports hacking is known commonly as @Home (at-Home). It is dangerous to allow the setup of this service in your home as it requires the installation of several cables from underground to provide the household with hacking capabilities.

2. Although you are correct in assessing the dangerous nature of programs such as Bonzi Buddy and Comet Cursor, there has been a recent discovery that the popular browser known as Netscape contains potential hacking functions. Tests have been run and have proven that the IRS database can be accessed by typing a few command lines in the browser's source code. If you are a current user of Netscape, it is absolutely important that you remove it as soon as possible.

3. I agree with everything you say here, but however you failed to address the issues of optical mice. Recent studies have concluded that lasers produced by optical mice transmit infrared signals to the Otaku hacking webring. If you have one of these abominal devices, remove it from your computer immediately. As long as it is hooked in your computer, you are a hacker.

4. Every single book you listed contains brutal hacking information. However, I believe you failed to mention Harry Potter, the infamous hacking source written by U.S. exile J.K. Rowling. The book is based upon a character who discovers his natural hacking capabilities and uses them to destroy the virtual world. If your children is reading this series, burn the books as soon as possible.

5. You are absolutely correct about this.

6. Quake is indeed a virtual world simulated for hackers to meet online. However, it is relatively outdated. Nowadays, the underground company Valve has developed a more enhanced version, known as Half-Life: Counterstrike. Where few people nowadays use quake, the Counterstrike community is enthralled with dangerous hackers that collaberate on issues regarding hacking and firearm usage.

7. Yep everything is right here too.

8. Linux is absolutely a dangerous program that if used incorrectly, can permanently damage your computer. To prevent the installation of this menace on your computer, restart your computer in MS-DOS mode and type "format c: /u" This command line is also widely known to many experts as an anti-virus protector.

9/10. Absolutely correct.


A very amazingly big load of dingo's kidneys... (2.00 / 3) (#775)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:13:00 AM PST
Ok, to start with, this article is a complete load of BS. And I'm being nice. You don't become a "hacker" overnight, and there are several major flaws in this article. Let me begin...

To start with, hacking requires a great deal of time, energy, and resources which a "family computer" usually does not have. I'll address the top ten points in order.

1. Changing ISPs.
There are many reasons why someone may ask their parents to change ISPs. The first and foremost is the curse of AOL and similar ISPs.

2. Programs you don't remember installing.
Oh my god... you let your kids use your computer and you're paranoid about a few stray programs? Programs don't make people hackers... so what if something odd shows up? You can always uninstall the program...

3. New Hardware.
In today's society, new hardware is kind of like new clothes... I can see your kids asking you for a number of new hardware related things, and especially an AMD processor... oh, and AMD is a silicon valley based company, in case you're wondering.

4. Hacking Manuals.
99% of the hacking manuals are actually corporate security manuals... and they are -very- hard to get a hold of.

5. Time.
I personally spend an excess of probably over 70 hours per week using a computer... and it doesn't make anyone a hacker.

6. Quake.
Don't make me laugh.

7. Surly and argumentative.
See #6.

8. "Lunix".
Alright, this is where I start rolling on the floor losing my intestines. To start with, let me correct your spelling... the word you are searching for is "Linux" and it is based on "UNIX", and its creator was a hacker named "Linus Torvalds". Microsoft had created no software specifically for the US government at that point in time, and Linux is really easily hidden from foolish parents.

9. Appearence.
"Hey, mom! I died my hair!"
"Omg, he's a hacker!"

10. Struggling Academically.
Hackers are brilliant people, they have to be...

Ok, on a parting note... all your "evidence" is completely insubstansial. You can't tell if someone is a "hacker" just like that, since most of us are a lot better than most people give us credit.
Oh, and one last thing... the hackers are the good guys. The "crackers" are the bad guys. Just wanted you to know.

I say award this man for ... (1.00 / 1) (#776)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:13:20 AM PST
being the dumbest user of the web. In my years of being a phone technician i have never met anyone as dumb as you .... wow amazing.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA (1.00 / 1) (#777)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:23:14 AM PST
This is just sad.

Help me also. (1.00 / 1) (#780)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:28:21 AM PST
OMG I meet in Tribes everyday with my "hacker group". After about 5 minutes in Tribes2 I learned how to write computer prgrams of mass destruction using PERL, C++, Java, and VB. LMAO!! dude is a total dumb ass!

who's going to protect your kids from YOU ?!?!? (1.00 / 1) (#781)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:31:28 AM PST
I feel so sorry for your children. If you have brought them up based on these and no doubt many other ill-informed, misconceived ideals then they are really going to struggle in society. Someone should be protecting your children from YOU. What is even more worrying is that other people will read this article and based on the utter bullshit you have written could then think that their children are also "hackers" just because they are creating websites with "flash" animations, using perl to program databases to catalogue their comic collections or music tapes or any manner of other innocent projects. I really do hope you have read some of the comments posted and have now grovelled and apologised to your son. I would love someone from AMD to sue you for your totally slanderous comments. Yes the internet can be a mine field of hackers and perverts and parents should take the time to learn what their children are doing but this is totally stupid.
What are you going to do if one day in computer class at school there is a lesson on "designing flash animations" or "programming in perl" or "looking at alternative operating systems"? Will you then withdraw your son from school because all the teachers are "hackers". Get a grip on life and society for Christs Sake, you pathetic fool.

The Atlantic is a wide, wide thing. (2.00 / 3) (#782)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:33:21 AM PST
Dear Colonial Cousins. Investigate the meaning of the word 'irony'. Read the article again veerrryyy sllooowwlllyyy. See? It's meant to be funny.... Oh dear...

Great joke, but ... (none / 0) (#6002)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jan 11th, 2002 at 11:20:47 PM PST
Are most (or all) of the comments written by the original poster? Otherwise id's say it's really sad to have so many people not getting the joke. Or maybe I'm missing something.

Dear Mr. T Reginald Gibbons: (2.00 / 3) (#784)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:45:46 AM PST
For a great lampoon, I salute you... Maybe u should become a screen writer.. that talent would put the original to shame :)

the worst kind of misinformation (2.00 / 3) (#786)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:48:58 AM PST
I'm not going to waste time here other that to say that the writer of this article should give up journalism and take a leaf out of JK Rowlings book (no pun intended) and write fantasy stories. This is the sort of rubbish that the story line for 'The Net' (Film Staring Sandra Bullock) was built upon.

Truely pathetic.

OMG (1.00 / 1) (#787)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:50:38 AM PST
This article, and the following comments, have made me laugh *so* hard tonight. It was a much needed comedic break.

*bows to the hysterical idiocy of the original article, and the brilliance of many of the responses*

I *never* forward URL's (or messages) to people, but I sent the URL for this thread to every single person I could. It was just *too* damn funny.

*wipes away tears of laughter*

You should rethink your position... (1.00 / 1) (#788)
by galootaurus on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 12:51:17 AM PST
True, your suggestions could prevent your offspring from using your system as a springboard to evil hackdom, but they are totally unnecessary and uninformed. Your computer knowledge is probably vastly inferior to that of your offspring. In your case, it may be necessary to remove your computer from your dwelling.

Linux is probably already on your computer on a partition hidden from your Windows' view, perhaps on a separate hard drive you don't even know you have. Have any of your progeny asked for a Philip's screwdriver? You must not give it to them to keep 2nd Millenium hardware out of your system. Everything manufactured after 2000 has a backd00r for hackers <giggle>.

Hacking is fun. Not breaking into other systems, but just plain learning the ins and outs of your computer and operating system is a harmless and broadening hobby. To limit your young to AOL, Windows, and Intel is only going to serve to shackle their computing experience to the confines of your limited computer vocabulary. Learn WITH them. Be a part of their lives instead of an uninformed authoritarian. To truly influence their entire lifetimes, you must help them make their own decisions instead of build a prison in which they can count days until their release at adulthood.

Oh, and limit your own TV viewing... you've seen far too many commercials.

Are you kidding? (2.00 / 3) (#791)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:01:24 AM PST
I know there are alot of post for this topic but I have to say something, this is the stupidest thing i have ever hear!
Im not going to tell you how to raise your kids, but im glad im not one of them! I feel sorry for them, really!
First thing: read the other post to this topic!
2nd: IF and thats a big IF, your son is a "hacker" you should be happy. If your son is a true "hacker" than he is using his knowledge to gain even more knowledge. Are you afraid he knows more than you? guess what. He does! You should do more that 2 or 3 days of looking around before you post something so stupid! You make yourself look like a fool and your son loves it! Would you like me to point out a few errors? yes? Ok!

"2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?"
Do you even know what you are talking about?

"3. Has your child asked for new hardware? If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well."
What the fuck? I use a AMD cpu.(do you know what cpu stands for?) does that mean im a "hacker" or someone who knows were to save money? FYI, AMD cpu's are sold in store's. Idiot

"1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs?"
Mabey your isp sucks!

How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

"5.If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day."
How long are you on the computer a day? It takes my girlfrien damn near 30 mins to get to the web page she wants to get to! I guess I should watch her because she might be a "hacker"! Oh MY GOD aka omg I have a hacker in my house!!! I guess I should break up with her. I don't want to goto jail!

"7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour?

As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature."
Oh yea,this is a sign of a killer. You know that those damn hackers kill more people every year than drunk driving! It's amazing how you can get a computer to blow up and kill everyone in the room on command:)

"8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional."

Were the hell did you get this?
Oh yea I forgot that windows was the only OS. Everything else is used for "hacking"

"9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks."

This is called "XTC"
You will never find out what that stand for.LOL
10. Is your son struggling academically?

"If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association."
If your son was a "hacker" he would be doing good in school, not bad! Mabey you should look in another direction for your answer other than "hacking"
I know what your sons problem is and don't think you will ever find out because you are to stupid and close minded.
My e-mail address is if you ever wish to talk abot this. E-mail me and I will give you my ICQ number, if you know how to ise ICQ. Wait mabey ICQ is used for hacking and you don'yt want to talk to an ICQ user!!!!

Your son is no hacker.. Maybe a Exctasy user.. (2.00 / 3) (#794)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:03:42 AM PST
If your son has started wearing bright clothes and died his hair fluro, and Has started chewing on a pacifier. I think you are in denial. Your son is not a hacker, Your son is addicted to exctasy.

1. Fluro clothes and Hair => He's a Candy Kid
2. Glow Sticks => Heighten's the senses during the use of exctasy. Usually accompanied with load bass orientated music. Us youngsters call it techno.
3. The Pacifier => Jaw clenching effect of Exctasy. Pacifier is something to chew on!

Oh and Bonzi Buddy?? Thats no Hacker Program.
Oh and get it right. its Linux. or maybe your confusing it with Unix?

Oh and that crap about AMD is sooooo funny i was still laughing at the end of your post.

Man get a life. You accompany your kids to their parties so that there is no alcohol consumption. What are your kids going to do once they turn 18?? Realise that you screwed up their whole child hood and rebell against you even more?

Its parents like you that make comments like "Oh and what ever you do, dont become your parents" live longer than necissary.

From a Hacker

blonde jokes... (1.00 / 1) (#795)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:05:52 AM PST
All your comments make me think about thoose dumb blondes in blonde jokes.
Are you all dumb blondes to no see the joke evidence ??

This is the MOST PATHETIC post I've ever seen (2.00 / 3) (#805)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:26:07 AM PST
OMG, reading this will do more harm than good. My comments:

1. Has your son asked to change isps?
---Hmmm, AOL is gay, no questions asked.

2.Commet Cursor, flash, bonzi buddy
---Custom net cursors used by websites(has spyware), flash(the hell does that have to do with hacking), bonzi buddy(not sure what this is)... these are not hacking programs.

3. ASking for new hardware
---If your computer blows horribly there is nothing wrong with requesting a new computer/ AMD chips have nothing to do with hacking, intel does not providde any extra safety features to prevent this.

4. Programming with pearl... so they want to learn how to use pearl to PROGRAM... other manuals can be considered 'hacker' material

5. I spend all of saturday on the computer, does that mean I'm some kinda of hacker... no, it means there's nothing else to do in cow town but movies and bolwling aka fri and sat night

6. Quake, the hell does this writer have wrong with them, it's a freaking game where yes: you SHOOT online characters, it does not truely teach you how to fire or shoot a gun nor prperly adjust them to fireing a weapon.

7. Aurgumentory in behavior... what teenage male/female does not becom aurgumentory at our age?

8. Linux: open source operating system that some teenagers prefer to use because they feel that micro$oft is evil and should die. Most web servers run linux/unix/free bsd/etc as they are SAFER than running a win2k server and are not the primary targets of hackers or viruses.

9. Changing apearance with glow sticks and pacifiers
One word: RAVER... they aren't a hacker they are a druggy, simple as that. Glow sticks are used when they are high on extacy(the light patteren affects the brain giving good feelings. The pacifier is for the locked jaw effect that xtc produces, the sucking on something also gives them more pleasure).

10. I have been sitting at my computer constantly for the past three years and have a 4.0 at a competitve high school in College Station, TX(Home of Texas A&M), utter bull crap.

This post (2.00 / 3) (#806)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:26:40 AM PST
Please realize, everyone, that this post is FACETIOUS. It's a JOKE. Anyone who knows anything about computers *at all* will realize that without issue!
1) Changing ISPs - @home (rip), or any cable provider for that matter, is anywhere from 20 to 150x FASTER than conventional dialup service. AOL, both on the service end and customer support end is a terrible company.
2)Bonzi Buddy is software that comes packaged with many programs such as Morpheus (like Napster) and other internet related free programs. Bonzi Buddy is usually installed unintentionally, because its sole purpose in life is to annoy the user with advertisements. Comet cursor is a program to turn your mouse cursor into anything you or something. Flash is a format used to make websites (e.g.
3)"New Hardware" -- Working at a computer OEM, I am very exposed to the fact that computer equipment becomes outdated extremely quickly. Approx. 1 year ago, the "standard" speed of a new middle-of-the-road computer was approx 933mhz-1ghz. Now, the "standard" speed of the same computer is 50%-75% faster. Technology moves quickly -- upgrading hardware, to an extent, can prolong the life of your computer.
4) Reading Hacking Materials: This is extremely laughable. Cryptonomicon, for example. If your son (or daughter) gets a firm grasp on Crpyography (hidden messages, etc) then they are just what the NSA (National Security Agency -- is looking for. The other books are equally as harmless, or helpful!
5) Time - If you want your son/daughter to be successful and make 10 times more than you when they're "of age", you had better let them spend as much time as they need on the computer. Don't wreck their futures by being naive.
6) Quake is a game. Thats just like saying that those kids shot up Columbine because of the music they listened to. *coughSCAPEGOATcough*
7) Argumentative attitude, etc. Come on. It's called ADOLESCENCE.
8) This is the real kicker. The author OBVIOUSLY spelled LINUX and LINUS TORVALDS wrong intentionally.
9) Changing appearance. See #7
10)Is your son struggling academically? See #6

Obviously this entire thing is a big joke. There is no way that someone could be so naive as to write this. Those of you that actually took this to heart, don't. If you do, go to your local library and learn a little about computers.

KMFDM/ATTAK/SPRING2002 <-- Sascha is back for more!

Talk about insulting! (2.00 / 3) (#808)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:27:10 AM PST
You, sir, are an idiot.

Would you like further clarification? Here, you sit down right there, like a good lad, and I'll explain to you why you are one of the biggest, most insulting, closed-minded, behind-the-times, braindead assholes I have ever seen in my life.

>>Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".<<

Okay, I'll admit I have no idea what a 'Bonzi Buddy' is, but I sure as hell know what Comet Cursor and Flash are. Comet Cursor is a very neat little program that lets you change your cursor (you know, the little pointy thing on the screen that moves when you push around the little plastic thing you put your hand on?) to alls orts of things, from photographs, to little blue arrows, and even animated gifs. Flash is an application that, to my knowledge, lets you view high-tech interactive movies that people put on their websites, sometimes used for layouts (i've seen some nice ones.) Now, please explain to me how these can be used for hacking? I'd really like to know.

>>"Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.<<

I am highly offended by this. I happen to be one of those make-up and perfume wearing, date-going, impressionable seventeen-year-old girls you speak of, and I'm a freshman in college right now, majoring in English. These titles are not "hacking manuals", as you call them. They are something called "Science Fiction" - maybe you've heard of it? "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" are wonderful pieces of literature, and should be required reading for anyone who calls them self a reader. Hell, my 11 year old brother is reading Snow Crash, and guess who told him to read it? My father, who has a Masters in Computer Science. "Neuromancer", also a glorious book, was what the movie "Johnny Nemonic" (I know that' snot spelled right) was based on. If you've seen the movie, I'm pretty sure you'll change your mind.

And wait, what about "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick? The movie "The Matrix", surely the worst hacker-influencing (and also probably my favorite) movie of all time was based on it. How could you POSSIBLY miss that one?

>>If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.<<

If you don't know that DOS is an operating system, I'm not even going to explain to you waht it is, I'm not wasting my time. I will say though that I, and also 99% of the rest of the teenagers on this planet with the exception of the amish, the desperately poor, and the bush men, spend WAY more than 30 minutes on the computer. Why even just now, I've almost got 4 hours under my belt, and with all those college essays I'm writing, I've got way more than that.

>>Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers.<<

What color is the sky on your fucking planet? Quake is a computer game, that so happens to have multi-player, where people can go online and play the game together. Sort of like virtual Monopoly, or virtual Pool. Oh, but I forgot - Quake caused the Columbine shooting and the internet is the Devil's work. Sorry, forgot who I was talking to.

>>BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.<<

Where did you get THAT one? Linux (Read: L-I-N-U-X, you moron!) is an operating system, created by a foreign programmer. But hey, what I do I know about these thigns... go ask my hacker boyfriend, he'll know much more than I do.

>>. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks.<<

No, wrong again. If you see someone like this on the street, he's probably a candy raver, not a hacker. And I'm not even going into THAT subject....

>>If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association.<<

If your son is failing courses in school, he probably isn't studying or just doesn't give a shit, and if he's performing poorly on his sports team, he may not want to be on it in the first place. Have you tried actually talking to your kids? Or is that a no-no?

This is one of the most insulting thigns I have ever read in my life. It's people like you, Mr. Gibbons, that make this world such a terrible place to exist for us teenagers, by giving us a bad name and saying that we're incompitent, and mean. Here's a wake up call: not every teenager who dresses in funky clothes and likes spending time on the internet is a hacker. In fact, most of the ones who do are just as nice as the teenagers who go around having been sheltered all their lives, and are less abused by their peers. You need to open your eyes to the world around you, and see what's really going on - what you see will shock you.

Literary accuracy (none / 0) (#6294)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 04:14:17 AM PST

>>I'm a freshman in college right now, majoring in English.

Really? A free lesson for you then.

>>"Neuromancer", also a glorious book, was what >the movie "Johnny Nemonic" (I know that' snot >spelled right) was based on. If you've seen the >movie, I'm pretty sure you'll change your mind.

I beg to differ. Johnny Mnemonic was based on the William Gibson short story of the same name.
Neuromancer has never been filmed.

And Johnny Mnemonic the movie is really awful compared to the story, by the way. If you think it was good, might I recommend an immediate visit to the surgery for a taste transplant.

>>And wait, what about "Do Androids Dream of >Electric Sheep?" by Philip K. Dick? The >movie "The Matrix", surely the worst hacker->influencing (and also probably my favorite) >movie of all time was based on it. How could you >POSSIBLY miss that one?

Possibly because The Matrix wasn't based on it at all. You're thinking of the movie Bladerunner, which was based on 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?'

If the Matrix was based on a novel I don't know what it was. As far as I know it's original.

Sorry to be so harsh with you, but if you're going to mention the classics of modern science fiction you really have to get them correct.

Oh yes, and that 'how to spot a hacker' article was A JOKE!!!!! I worked that out for myself.

This can't be true (2.00 / 3) (#809)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:31:08 AM PST
Oh no, this can't be serious!!!??

Oh wow, I am completely amazed...
I guess I am a hacker when reading this, No better, I am a whore in the hacking scene, since girls don't have the abbilities or aren't that smart :?

Check your facts again seriously!

My son is a "haxxor" (3.00 / 1) (#811)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:39:55 AM PST
I discovered some mysterious pills by my sons computer with the letter Q imprinted on them. If what you say is true, then my son has been doing Quake! Is their some treatment for these juvenile delinquints? My son was such a good boy. How can we stop this lunix madness if it is so readily available?
I also took your advice and deleted comet cursor and flash from my computer.

bah! More ignorance! (none / 0) (#2359)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 01:21:30 PM PST
Listen up is a GAME, not a spawning ground for the underworld of computers for crying out loud! Oh, and by the way...Flash is not a hacking program! It is a program that helps your computer to read animated movies! Bah! Ignorance is not always bliss!

erm...need I say OMG!!! (none / 0) (#6226)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 03:49:07 PM PST
wtf you on that bloke was taking the piss...twat

Ok.. (none / 0) (#6021)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 01:15:29 AM PST
Are people acually that dumb???

Sadly yes (none / 0) (#6067)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 12th, 2002 at 11:28:59 AM PST
Sadly yes the majority of the world cant even spell Linux, which is an operating system just like the windows most of you ignorant parents are using on your computer. Just face it, your child is smarter than you, happens every generation. By golly i hope my childern 10 years down the road surpass me, they'll be like Bill Gates :D
And another point that shocked me about this whole :post: is that its only geared towards your son. Such stereotypical ppl we have here, like if your son/daughter starts to listen to slipknot, by golly theyre a satanist!! I'm a 19 year old girl for petes sake, and I'm just sitting here laughing at all of these ignorant (lack of knowledge mind you) posts by uninformed parents....As for those Q pills, Yes it is quake in a pill form, be afraid be very afraid! Satan is talkin to your childern from the depths of the underworld thru his happy pills, Telling them to play quake, hence learning motor skills, social skills, how to share (hahaha, perhaps share the bloodbath with some friends, cmon its just a game!) You should be proud of your Child (not just your son, god if my parents were only proud of their son, they'd be pretty lost) Theyre dedicating their free time into learning alternative os's (operating systems like that windows thing i mentioned before) If it werent for alternatives in this world, i think Hitler would have won.

WTF! (none / 0) (#6321)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 09:42:56 AM PST
First, learn that Lunix is a completely valid thing... If you had done your homework, you'd know that Lunix is " Lunix is a new free unix-type operating system for C64, C128, 6502 and other 8 bit CPU platforms with very limited hardware-- like 64K RAM. Linux is a free Unix-type operating system originally created by Linus Torvalds with the assistance of developers around the world. With linux becoming more and more popular as a platform,many people would like to learn and use it."... Go and see at

Second, innocence is a great value for a child, but at 19 I don't think you can still be called a child. Look around for one moment and you'll learn that computers are not all with a beige case, a windows/linux running and some 5.1 speakers to see the latest DVD. Damn it, 90% of computers in the world don't even know how to deal with a picture!

Third, if you can't cope with such a blatant joke, then I'm afraid that your children won't laugh as much as they should.

Now go get a life, don't trust everything you see on the "in'ernet", and learn what "second degree" means!

your a moron (none / 0) (#6146)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 12:16:14 AM PST
Comet cursor and flash are entertainment utilities you idiot. The problem is that parents are just too old and they don't really know what's up, well some anyway.

It takes one to know one (none / 0) (#6263)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Jan 13th, 2002 at 10:04:27 PM PST
1. It takes one to know one
2. It takes one to know one
3. It takes one to know one

oh dear... (none / 0) (#6539)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jan 16th, 2002 at 01:32:41 PM PST
let me give you an advice!


it is a legal game and just a bit violent.

Then... Flash isn't a hackertool! It's a programm to see "comic-movies" and is used on nearly every site yet! Comet cursor too... it's NO Hacker tool.... I'm no hacker, but i can assure that those things are no hacker things... AMD... letz take AMD... AMD is a legal Computer brand and you could buy it in nearly every computer shop LEGAL!!!
And linux isn't invented by an Russian... it was a swede! and is just an alternativ OS to Windows!

Just wanted to clear some things this guy wrote here!!!

Thanks for your attention....

And the trophy for incompetence goes to...... (2.00 / 3) (#813)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:40:29 AM PST
I thought this was a joke, then I saw it was serious. I have seen stupid people in my day, but this eclipses all of them under one giant "hole". Seriously, this guy has to be on drugs or something. T Reginald Dumbass, or whatever the fuck your name is, quit with the smothering of children. I am tempted to call child services for abuse. Your kids are not safe with you. You will turn them into mindless soulless AOL users of Intel only products with no upgrades and no futures. I feel sorry for your children, because they will never learn to swear, and they will never learn what a complete and utter FUCK YOU ARE. As another person said in this wonderful forum you have here, if your wife hasnt divorced you and sued for custody with no visitation from you, she should do so NOW!


Do me, and US all a favor. Kill yourself. Right now. Please overdose on something. Fall down some stairs a couple of times. Take a hammer to your own head. Run through ten lanes of traffic at 70 MPH, SOMETHING! JUST DIE!

IBM, DELL, SUN.... (1.50 / 2) (#819)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 4th, 2001 at 01:51:06 AM PST
Its funny to note that multibillion dollar companies, like IBM, DELL and SUN all use LINUX or UNIX as main operating system on many of their machines...but I guess all these companies are just lewt haX0r companies.

You should try doing some research what Flash really is, or is 75% of all companies of THE WORLD, hax0rs?

This article is written out of pure ignorance, I especially laughed over the bit about "having to return the harddrive for a replacement, when LINUX is install"...LOL!!!

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