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looool (none / 0) (#2516)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:32:47 AM PST
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool


baffling (none / 0) (#2534)
by nathan on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:23:08 AM PST
Not that I'm conversant with "hacker" "lingo," but wouldn't this parse to: "laughing out out out out......out loud?"

I can't make heads or tails of this.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

 
Now I understand why kids kill their parents... (none / 0) (#2518)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:05:51 AM PST



 
you dumbshit (none / 0) (#2519)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:05:51 AM PST
Ok first... Hackers are not always little kids who dont go well in school or are not phsicly fit you moron.
Do you have any proof that your son is a hacker or are you going in suspision.
Burning cd's, even if it is illegal software, is not a form of hacking.
And even if your kid does sit in front of the computer a lot of the time does not mean that he/she is a hacker.
Most kids that age play games and get very easily bored of text and programming...
f**k your stupid




 
LOL (none / 0) (#2520)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:07:00 AM PST
LOL what a facking retard!


 
This got to be a joke. (none / 0) (#2521)
by Onkel on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:08:11 AM PST
Theres no way this is for real.


 
Man, this is great! (none / 0) (#2522)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:09:29 AM PST
You know, this is truly a wonderful page. I applaud your womnderfully deadpan satire. Comet Cursor and Bonzi Buddy as hacking programs? GENIUS! Quake, a forum for hackers, and a weapons training ground? BELLISIMO! Hackers all dress like ravers? BEAUTIFUL!
Once again, kudos for a joke well done.

-->AJ<--


 
lol (none / 0) (#2523)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:11:08 AM PST
i said that leet once when someone was talking about something when we were outside


 
Great piece! Great sense of humor! (none / 0) (#2524)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:17:46 AM PST
Unfortunately, it takes to be at least advanced user to take it from the right point....

for the others, who take it seriously, I would reccomend to read at least one of the "hacking manuals" mentioned in this great article, "The Cathedral and the Bazaar"... and, maybe, if you plan to be something, , "Programming with Perl"...


Boris Pavlov
edi@h ypodil.com
PS hey, do REALLY someone believes that this article is not from top to bottom _JOKE_. or this whole site is an joke? nmind, this thing is great, really great.



[cut]
There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond
[cut]


nah, (none / 0) (#2529)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:50:08 AM PST
Unfortunately, it takes to be at least advanced user to take it from the right point....
you think so? it's rather sad how few of these people here have read the whole thing.. especially the last sentence:
It cannot be taken too seriously.



 
My bullshit meter is going crazy (none / 0) (#2525)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:20:22 AM PST
Holy crap, I can smell the bullshit from all the way over here... I didnt read through all the other posts regarding this "article", but I really hope this is a joke. In any case, I found the comments on AMD to be quite idiotic. For one, AMD makes processor which consistently beat Intel chips for cheaper than Intel sells their chips. The funniest comment of all though was how the company is "third-world based, and uses sweatshop labor to create these knock offs of american made chips". First of all, AMD is based in Sunnyvale, California, deep in the heart of the silicon valley. Additionally, if "reginald" had any clue about the chip fabrication process, he would surely realize that it is a highly technical process done in clean rooms by trained professionals, not some factory sewing sweaters as he seems to think. Any attempt by AMD to use "sweatshop labor" to manufacture computer chips would be business suicide. This was just the stinkiest piece of bullshit that popped its ugly head at me out of this pile of moronic overgeneralizations, and idiotic accusasions. If your son hasnt jabbed a pen in his eye yet, just give him a couple more years under your "rule of tyranny and opression". Time for me to go "DOS" into other people's computers and steal some of their hacker software like Flash and comet cursor and hacker MP3s. I'll see you all in the virtual reality hacker training ground known as Quake. hahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Idiots... they make the world go round!


 
brilliant... (none / 0) (#2528)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:34:44 AM PST
piece of satire which made me laugh quite a lot
:)


 
hello (none / 0) (#2530)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:53:26 AM PST
men du e njd eller? fr du ser ju rtt njd ut?
dom som sysslar me hemsidor e dom x koko d? som du tex.. jevla nolla


 
Vla ! (none / 0) (#2531)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:59:32 AM PST
*svammel* *svammel* stupid *svammel* was2!%!"%#"#%%"5


 
holydamn (none / 0) (#2532)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:07:57 AM PST
Aye yai yai. You should encourage your kid to be a hacker. Sure the money isn't great but I can see how there could be some personal satisfaction in finding a child porn distributer and sending his sick ass to jail, keeping spammers from ruling the email world, and yes stopping the evil Black Hats from smashing a dumbass site like this off the face of the net. Even with the subject of money maybe he could join a tiger team hired by a big corporation and start making big bucks. All those could of happened but you are holding him back. So yes keep teaching him your moral values and blah blah blah and let him read his "manuals" and just maybe he could be the one stopping the spread of more kid porn and just maybe those values will be put to use in his position as a White Hat. And I suggest you read up some more on hacking.My friend and I dismantled your pathetic writing attempt completely in just a matter of seconds. Think before you write


 
Imagine what your son thinks of you now. (none / 0) (#2533)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:16:08 AM PST
I'm sure your son/daughter/ward (i didn't pay enough attention to your artile it was shit anyway) would be much happier if you embraced their hobby, MAYBE EVEN ASKED THEM ABOUT IT?!?!?!?! before you made up your own uninformed oppinions about what they are doing? imagine how he feels now that u regard him as a scum of the earth hacker, JUST FOR PLAYING A VIDEO GAME OR 2? if he was playing on a console plugged into a telly, surely you wouldn't think he was a hacker then would you? I'm sure your son loves you a lot for what you think of him and the ways you restrict him. As for a new video card? I think your son deserves a whole new PC to make up for your blatant lack of trust in him. You may or may not be a christian but i'm sure if you are u cannot argue with "Judge your self before others". and just to finish, you truly are a prejudgemental ignorant twat, thank you and good night


 
I hate this (none / 0) (#2539)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:03:31 AM PST
You were beaten with the stupid stick werent you?


 
no explaination required (none / 0) (#2540)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:07:49 AM PST
i recomend that have a CAT scan


 
Hmm... (none / 0) (#2541)
by Gremlin on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:08:02 AM PST
... Well upon reading this I'm not sure if it's a joke or note (please God, let it be a joke). Of course even more worrying are some of the follow-up comments posted here.

However, let's have a look at T Reginald Gibbons' (don't you hate people who name themselves like that? You have a name that begins with T and you'd rather be known as Reginald? But I digress) little missive point by point shall we...

    1. You call yourself enlightened, but - as we shall see - your article is anything but. It is certainly not accurate and not well researched (as claimed in a follow-up posting). What are your sources? If you're going to make such sweeping statements, at least have the courtesy to back them up. Also 6 kids? What are you - a Mormon or something? Can one assume there's an underlying religious theme behind this little bit of creative writing - for it can't be seen as anything else? It always worries me when people stress how open minded and enlightened they are, because they then go on to show that they're not... same as those who say "Some of my best friends are gay."

    2. Your youngest daughter informed you? And how young is this daughter? Does she even know what a hacker is, or was this a case of sibling rivalry - maybe Peter wouldn't let her play on the PC? So you monitored his habits and investigated him did you? What exactly did you do to lead you to the conclusion that your son was planing to infiltrate the Pentagon and start WW3? Maybe his denials were due to the fact that he wasn't a hacker as you had obviously decided (hmm... sounds like a very enlightened parent to me!) he was. Your link about `knowledge' leads to a book on art. Very strange.

    3. You worry that you might have to spank your son for hacking? Good God - shouldn't you be more worried that the little criminal mastermind might bring the FBI (or worse - the CIA, depending on which sites he hacks) crashing through your front door?

    4. Changing ISP. You call AOL "trusted" and "responsible" - didn't they lose a class action suit for false advertising their accessibility recently? Sounds responsible to me. If your son was hanging with hackers, don't you think he'd have an umpteen different log-ins that the group would use? Also - did it occur to you that maybe your son realised what a crock of sh*t AOL is and wanted to move to a decent ISP?

    5. Oh boy. Flash a hacker tool?? And Comet Cursor. Sheesh - then I'm worried - seeing as half the Internet uses Flash these days. And comet cursor is a harmless little fun package, giving you an animate cursor. But then you should know this, having investigated the situation.

    6. What's the problem with asking for new hardware. As an enlightened adult, surely you must realise that the PC industry moves at an incredible pace and stuff that was new a few months ago is now obsolete. Maybe he wants to upgrade from the 2x CD-ROM and 11" CGA monitor you bought him. Or maybe the new game which he sneaked out to buy (`cos I get the impression that you would ban anything remotely risqu.) needs better specs to run properly on the PC.

    7. Hacking manuals?? You call those hacking manuals?? Ha! Ha! Ha! So what's Dune - a guide to colonising planets?? Those are novels you ignoramus - nothing more nothing less. Do you think bookstores are going to sell books on hacking? No - that's what the web's for. But if you'd done your research, you'd know what sites to go to and what software to load.

    8. Time on a PC. 8 hours might be a bit excessive - I've spent more on the net at times and I'm not a hacker. Maybe it's a really long game. Maybe he's not even on-line - ever consider that?? As for DOS-ing - well - go do some research and them come back to us, why don't you.

    9. Quake players are hackers?? Do you even know what Quake is? It's a game you fool! It's a first person shoot `em up, which can be played over a network by multiple players. Like Duke Nukem and Doom... or are those hacking tools too?? And let me ask - why do own guns that need to be locked up anyway? Are you a cop or in the military? Do some reading - more murderers have been influenced by Disney movies than by any other medium... so maybe you should lock up Bambi rather.

    10. Argumentative and surly?? He's probably a teenager for Christ's sake - all teenagers all over the world are argumentative and surly. Let me guess - he also spends hours in his bedroom, with the door closed and music playing? (Assuming of course that he can listen to stuff stronger than Perry Como?). Weren't you ever a teenager?

    11. Lunix (sic) is a PC operating system, more commonly known as Linux. Its main advantage is the source code is freely available for people to play around with (unlike some others I could mention). It is nor more a hacking tool than Microsoft products are (ooh - remember the `I love you' virus written in VB). Hmmm... maybe you work for Microsoft and are trying to badmouth the opposition. I wonder what the companies you mention in your little essay would do if they received a copy of your libelous article.

    12. Changed clothing? Bright colours, pacifiers?? Um - what you have on your hands in not a hacker, but a raver - which is an entirely different (but more fun kettle of fish). Ravers do not infiltrate the Pentagon and start WW3, they lie around and have their heads scratched.

    13. Maybe your son is doing badly at school for many, many other reasons other than being a hacking mastermind. Have you been to the school - spoken to them? My guess it's something at home that's bugging him.

Finally, Reg (I can call you Reg can't I) it's misinformed, un-researched clap trap like that is published on the web that brings out the worst in people, as can been from some of the knee-jerk (or maybe just jerk) responses. I'm actually amazed Adequacy even posted it - but then, maybe they're one of those sites...

So now, if I was you, I'd go back to stockpiling rations and cleaning your guns, 'cos you never know - the hackers could be colluding with the Freemasons to silence you, before parents everywhere shut down the hacker network worldwide.

PS Thank goodness I never mentioned IRC - you know what people get up on that!


 
2 cents (none / 0) (#2542)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:27:54 AM PST
Well,

I read the article and can only say the following.

If it is a joke, then it's an outstanding piece of work. Well done.

If it's not and you actually believe that crap then it's very simple. You mother should have swallowed.

Either way it took me a half hour before I could type this responce as I was laughing my fuckin ass off.

http://www.acnsnet.com/~slydder



 
YOU FUCKING DICKHEADS (none / 0) (#2545)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:57:28 AM PST
I just wanted to say that the dickhead who wrote this piece of shit shouldn't even been allowed to have the internet(aol protection or not!!!) and to a major extend, KIDS....
What are you teaching to your kids???? Being an imbecile like daddy, who doesn't know a thing about computer ( the flash thing was the best joke I read in weeks.....i'm still laughin' !!!!)
So next time, please do some research on the net ( not just books) about the subject of your article....

AND STOP PUT US (THE HACKERS) DOWN,
OR WE PUT YOU DOWN!!!!


 
u r fucked (none / 0) (#2547)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:16:58 AM PST
this is all bullshit
get some knowledge into that thick head of yours mate
what a load of shite!!! never ever read so much garbage in my life


 
What the???? (none / 0) (#2548)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:25:32 AM PST
This article has to be a joke. There is no way anyone can be that fuckin stupid.
If you 'T Reginald Gibbons' knows how to post a article here then I assume you should know the basics about computers.


 
Now I know! ;-) (none / 0) (#2550)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:44:30 AM PST
This is absolutely hilarious and absolutely absurd! I love the delusions of the misinformed. ROFL!


 
Its a JOKE you ignorant bastards (none / 0) (#2551)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:45:33 AM PST
This is so obviously a satire, if you think otherwise you deserve to be publicly ridiculed.



 
Morons the lot of you (none / 0) (#2552)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:45:43 AM PST
All these people that fly off the handle and rant their hearts out..... Did any of you actually *READ* the article, the links in the article, or any other articles from this web site?

If yu had you may have noticed there is an awful lot of satire... which if you don't know how to use a dictionary means that it is all a *JOKE*.

I can't believe the number of flame posts here. This article has elicited the best response from any article I've ever seen posted on the net...

hahaha, love it...


 
Great Web Site (none / 0) (#2553)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:50:33 AM PST
For a dumb monkey


 
YOU DUMB FUCKER!!!!! (none / 0) (#2556)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:05:54 AM PST
YOU ARE THE MOST PATHETIC DUMB CUNT I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO STUMBLE UPON.

BEND OVER SO I CAN RAM YOUR STUPID UGLY HEAD UP YOUR ASS YOU MORONIC FUCK. IT'S CUNTS LIKE YOU THAT FUCK THINGS UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

YOU RANK SEVERAL GRADES LOWER THAN THE SHIT ON MY SHOE..."DAD". I WOULDN'T GOB ON YOU IF YOU WERE ON FIRE YOU STUPID TWAT.

AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

YOU CAN FUCK OFF AND DIE.


 
hahah (none / 0) (#2557)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:11:28 AM PST
.. Ahahahha!


 
Apologize to your son for being ignorant. (none / 0) (#2558)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:14:31 AM PST
This has got to be a joke. I would love to learn how to hack with "Comet Cursor" , a program that does nothing more than change the look of your mouse pointer while visiting specific sites. And Linux not Lunix, is far from an illegal OS. It is very legal and distributed honestly throughout the country. As far as hardware upgrades go, it is natural for anyone who is into computers to want better hardware. Changing ISPs? I would want to change ISPs too, if I were being forced to use AOL. If you are for real and this is not a joke, then I suggest you do a lot more research and apologize to your son for being ignorant.


 
Mate...U R WHATS WRONG WITH AUSTRALIA (none / 0) (#2559)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:15:13 AM PST
its just luck that you are so funny that i cacn stop laughing to beat the fucking shit out of you, i'm thinking white male, ag approx 44, goes to church TOO MUCH (more than twice in your life)and well lets just pray for those poor altar boys and their well parted hair. but on a serious note GO FUCK YOUSELF instead of putting shit into ignorant parnts heads that probably believe that you are speaking english, in fact i think that you are probably some how related to OSAM BIN LADEN, but you are OSAMA BIN SMOKIN J'S AND DRINKIN TOO MUCH

u r a fucking tool


 
are you really this dumb ? (none / 0) (#2560)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:15:24 AM PST
ok, first of all, I wanna say you're one of the most retarded people posting something I've ever seen...
I mean.. lunix ?
WRONG, it's spelled LINUX, and you also state that bsd and all other *NIX bases os's are made or created by linus, well, this is totally not true.

Linux has been devellopped because of the stability od UNIX, but due the large size of it, linux storawalds decided to create his own unix version, linux, which was WAY smaler, and could be run on normal personal computers.

what makes you even REMOTELY think that *NIX variants are an "illegal hacker os" ?
if it is, then why wdont you tell me why 99% od thew world's ISP's and millions of home-users are runing some *nix variant on their computer ?

because it's stable, if you update it, secure and beats the crap out of running windows.

you also seem to think that telnet is a hacking program, well, that's the most hilarious coment I've ever heard.

it's a protocol which allows you to remotely login to *nix machines.
(oh, btw, SSH is also a hacking tool, as you see it, it's just more secure..)

now, that was just my comnmect on the "lunix" part of your fucxked-up article, I really DO suggest you actually LEARN something about hacking before you say you did.
this was by far the lamest article about hacking ever..


good luck apoligising to your son...




 
"lunix" (none / 0) (#2562)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:19:36 AM PST
you are the biggest fool I've ever heard of. LINUX as its called is the most powerfull operatingsystem on the market. All big companies use unix like systems for their most imporant servers.


 
Funny stuff (none / 0) (#2565)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:27:23 AM PST
"Satire" is not included in many people's vocabularies.


 
Dumb Americans (none / 0) (#2566)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:32:18 AM PST
Okay you stupid yanks, here's the word of the day:

Satire.

You don't understand it? Go look it up.

I'll let all of those that just had a good laugh off the hook, even those who weren't sure if it was meant to be genuine or not.

I can now see why a phrase like 'dumbing down' has found a home in America, you bunch of suckers. Haha!


 
are u guys st00pid? (none / 0) (#2567)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:32:32 AM PST
look if anyone off this thing is a hacker or a cracker they will not wear t-shirts with the word hacker orso on, i mean that would be really stupid and if you're a hacker or cracker you specially dont tell others that u can hack or crack in public, and second people who hack got several computers set up^in a network so that they can speed up the progress and co-operate with other hackers to attack 1 place to get down. Most hackers are also not intrested on whats on the computer, most hackers use they knowledge to find backdoors in OS systems and shit so they can help those people secure it or secure theyre own computer. and music styles nor mp3 nor dressing styles got to deal with hacking.

thnx 4 reading
god8y


 
Arf! (none / 0) (#2568)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:32:42 AM PST
I honestly dont know which is funnier, the article itself (a piece of comic genius) or the replies which take it seriously, from either side of the fence.

I take it a whole bunch of people think satire is some sort of cocktail?


 
Oh my god.... (none / 0) (#2570)
by Artemis on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:37:03 AM PST
Are you sure you actually know this??? For one, I am a network administrator at a school in town and I run a home network... I love linux, and its not the crazy hacker tool you think it is... Also, comet cursor does shit hacking-wise (everyone knows this already) and Flash could be used for hacking, but the people capable of it are all adults and teens above such stuff. Learning Perl, CGI and other "hacker" languages is actually a sign of a developing web designer, not a crazed hacker. It doesn't take 8 hours to hack into a computer, and even when it does, it could be split over multiple time periods, aka, your limit is worthless. AMD processors are perfectly fine, I use them on all of my machines at home. The security on the hardware isn't going to promote hackers, or crackers.
oh, btw, linux and mandrake, etc aren't ILLEGAL you pig. What are you talking about??? I use them ALL THE TIME! Perfectly good, legal software.
I do huge amounts of security work on my networks, and I will promise you now: your crazy opinion is easily the stupidest thing I have ever seen. If I were in charge, you would probably deserve a flogging... Now, kindly take your crazy rant elsewhere.


 
Good Gods (none / 0) (#2573)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:56:01 AM PST
Hehehehe .. ;D

Good grief, this can't be serious. I mean, no living human being should be this fucking stupid and paranoid. Linux hacking OS and Bonzo Buddy hacking utilities? Nah, this must be the work of someone with a sense'o humour. Can't be serious, but it gave me a good laugh anyway ;)


 
WHO WROTE THIS STUPID THING!?!?!?!?!? (none / 0) (#2575)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:07:23 AM PST
DO SOME RESEARCH INTO WHAT A HACKER IS DUMBASS, YOU HAVE DENIED YOUR SON A PROFITABLE AND WEALTHY LIFESTYLE.

Hacking is knowledge. Knowledge is power. power is wealth.

None of which are against the law.


 
sorry to rain on your parade... (none / 0) (#2576)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:24:31 AM PST
"Hackers" are a group of netizens who believe in a deregulated Internet, which is free from external control. We believe in providing tools to assist others who believe in a free Internet - we support Open Source. We campaign against those who abuse the free nature of the Internet. We believe that spammers, child pornographers, web based scammers, and *malicious* hackers are enemies of the Internet. We believe that the Internet can be self-regulated, and that we, as equipped and knowledgable netizens, can control and suppress abusers of the Internet, with legal methods, by consolidating together as a united Cyber-Army.



 
Very funny site (none / 0) (#2577)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:32:11 AM PST
I have to admit, a very funny read!

The best bit is all the 'concerned readers' who have additional warnings, or 'leet haxors' scared that you've now spilled the beans.


Very well written - the proof is the amount of people who are actually taking it seriously...

More :)

Andrew


 
phearable (none / 0) (#2578)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:34:30 AM PST
surely the elite teenage hacker would use redhat
linux?


 
Can you answer me a question...? (none / 0) (#2580)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:37:37 AM PST
I use a scroll mouse with an infra red bottom to it instead of a ball... Does this make me a hacker?! LMBO XP

H4KR$ 0WN J00!!!

~ The one with the infra red mouse, who views *gasp* FLASH movies!!!


 
Hacker (none / 0) (#2581)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:40:48 AM PST
Are you a moran? What kind of hacker checklist is this? I am a computer professional and some of the things you are saying are wrong. AOL is good for parents trying to keep younger children out of adult areas, but just because he would like to change providers does not mean he is a hacker. Other providers are much faster and give you more freedom. Linux is not just for hackers either. You have no right making a statement like you did. Currently if you know Linux or Unix you could be very well worth some serious cash. And just because your child wants more hard disk space, a faster video card, or something else does not justify calling him a hacker. If that was the case then are all the companies offering bigger and faster machines targeting hackers?
You should seriously think about what you are saying.


 
You fuckin morons!!!! (none / 0) (#2582)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:48:19 AM PST
OMFG!!! This is absured! I can not believe you can be this stupid!! Baggy clothes makes you a hacker. HELLO!! You damn fools. I am a 16 year old who wears the baggiestr clothes you can find, I spike my hair, spend all my free time on my home computer, and I have straight A's in school. Does this make me a hacker?? I think not you incompadent fools I can't stand this... Good BYE


 
*Claps* (none / 0) (#2583)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:51:05 AM PST
I have to applaud the work you put into this. For starters the cleverly placed links and information you presented that would catch many people off-guard. Even though some were a bit overdone. (The "Russian Hacker" link to Boris off the Bond Movie Goldeneye went a bit far ;) ) I'm not going to come out with a comment like "You're so dumb!!!" like a few people above me, as I'm above that. Great article, being that it could very easily fool many parents who might not be as proficient with computers as their offspring. One question. Why would you post this on a legitamate site where someone actually might read this and take it as true, only to ban their son/daughter from the computer? Isn't fair on them is it! :p Anyway, interesting article, shame it's fake. Keep writing these ;) ~Mike


 
LOL LOL LOL (none / 0) (#2584)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:51:46 AM PST
Ok people, dont buy all this it's ablsolute crap!
Changing vid cards and trying to get better processors has absolutely NOTHING to do with hacking you need them to play games on high performance settings :)

And Qauke is a game which can be played in multiplayer mode, this is another example of something that hasnt got nething to do with hacking.

lmao





 
Wow... (none / 0) (#2586)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:58:21 AM PST
You people are really stupid if you believe any of that. I ask for faster peripherals because I'm a graphic designer. I spend upwards of 2 hours on the computer a night. YOU DON"T DOS INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S COMPUTERS. DOS is an operating system. I want a new ISP because AOL provides some of the worst customer service in the world.

Doesn't make me a hacker.

Who wrote this article? Have they petitioned for a labotomy? They should. I can't believe people like this are allowed to be functional in society.

Hackers can be girls too...just thought I'd let you know...and...it's Unix or Linux, not Luinix


 
Thank you Thank you Thank you (none / 0) (#2588)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:06:57 AM PST
for bringing this to our attention. It is very likely that you have saved an entired generation of young people from the very dangerous and very illegal practice of "hacking."

It's only too bad that more informed and educated people like yourself don't take the time to help out other parents and concerned members of society (educators, church officials, etc) by posting such enlightening material.

I hope this will start a Domino Effect. I look forward to posts on how we can protect our children from the dangers of the Internet, violent online games and MUDs, fast food, television, rock and roll, and above all, Communism.

-Abe


 
EVERY AMERICAN PARENT SHOULD READ IT... (none / 0) (#2589)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:12:18 AM PST
...So they can realise how stupid and narrow-minded most americans are!

They should all read and comply to such a text so that in 15 years i would see a bunch of morons using windows and aol and censourship!

I am a parent myself and i encourage my kids (a boy and a girl) to learn anything and everything they can about computers. Especialy about hacking which is the hiest level of computer specialty one can have!

In open cultures like the Portuguese one where there are no <B>censourship like in china and america</B>, people are free to see the whole picture if they want to without being narrow-minded by stupid law made by stupid governours!

Let america become a completely closed country and see it come down in flames while and open source world will enter the minds of our children so they will reach the hiest of places in the world business and economy!

So i say - <B>let there be morons</B> because without them it would be really tough be the best in what you do!


 
EVERY AMERICAN PARENT SHOULD READ IT... (none / 0) (#2590)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:17:23 AM PST
...So they can realise how stupid and narrow-minded most americans are!

They should all read and comply to such a text so that in 15 years i would see a bunch of morons using windows and aol and censourship!

I am a parent myself and i encourage my kids (a boy and a girl) to learn anything and everything they can about computers. Especialy about hacking which is the hiest level of computer specialty one can have!

In open cultures like the Portuguese one where there are no <B>censourship like in china and america</B>, people are free to see the whole picture if they want to without being narrow-minded by stupid law made by stupid governours!

Let america become a completely closed country and see it come down in flames while and open source world will enter the minds of our children so they will reach the hiest of places in the world business and economy!

So i say - <B>let there be morons</B> because without them it would be really tough be the best in what you do!


 
stroke a b0obie a day.. keep the doctor away? (none / 0) (#2591)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:17:44 AM PST
In the original post, Quake is referred to, Quake being much more popular of past, but counter-strike being the 'virtual world' and place to `train in the use of various firearms' of present, if not passed already.. its tough keeping up with the times?!?


 
IS your son a computer hacker (none / 0) (#2592)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:20:05 AM PST
First I am not a hacker, but I use Linux as my primary OS because it offers so much more stability than anything offered by Microshaft.
Secondly AMD processors outperform the pricey chips made by Intel and have a cost for the everyday person. By trade I am a computer operator
who finds nothing truthful in your statements. AOL is a giant ripoff for what is offered. If you
provided direction to your child you wouldn't worry about where you child went on the web.
Just remember this country is based on freedom.
I cannot think of not being able to use the best and Linux is the best and AOL is far from the best.


 
This has got to be a joke No one can be this wrong (none / 0) (#2593)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:21:07 AM PST
For someone wanting to know what was wrong here.

1. Anyone asking to move off AOL is just showing good taste. There slow there incompetent, and there also the isp of choice for hackers. Not to mention your very existence on AOL is begin to be sent random porn.

2. Programs are installed on computers all the time. Running programs is what computers do. "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". are all totally useless programs. Comit curser is a special effect while web browsing. Bonzi buddy is a purple ape who begs you to buy things and Flash is a way of watching web content.

3. Best buy sells AMD. There are few differences between a Intel Cyron and AMD and the differences have nothing to do with hacking. Non of them have ever done anything about hacking.

4. There are allot of books here. I don't have time to read them to post about each one unfortunately. The one which stands out is "Programming with Perl" Perl is a computer language. If you ever want to really know anything about computers you must learn to program them to do what you want. Perl is a great way to learn. The difference between computer people who program and though who do not is about 20k a year before taxes. I am sure the other books are equally wrong.

5. DOS attacks are when people with high bandwidth send many requests to someone with lower bandwidth to basically drown them out and off the internet. The best way to do this is to ether have a high speed internet conection, or use many computers all at once. For a high speed internet connection you would not be using AOL. TO use many computers you would not need to be on your computer at all. Computers are quite good at doing this without a person there. 30 min and more shows your child is learning to use your computer and enjoying it. I would rather see my kid spend 4 hours on the computer then 4 hours watching TV.

6. Quake is a game. It's also an old game. I recommend you get trigger locks for your guns anyways. It's a good idea with kids in the house.

7. hahahahahahahahaha sorry I was imagining what it would be like living with you if this was for real.

8. Linux is an alternative operating system. It is a very good operating system and is becoming a very common business application. Please check out your local book story for many magazines and articles. Linux and any other program will not damage your disks surface or harm your computer.

9. This is a description of cheerleaders. Avoid cheerleaders.

10. hahahahahahahahaha


This post was the best joke posts I have seen. I hope no one was sent the wrong way by it, but if anyone was they where likely to week willed to survive anyways.


 
Er ok (none / 0) (#2595)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:30:04 AM PST
First off i would just like to say is
i work at EB (Electronic Boutique)a Video Game store
Linix is an OS

Quake is PC game *note theres even a Linix version*

AMD is a chip called the amd athalon chip

AOhelL bites the big one and sucks as server

and if your son is asking for better equempment
than your comp bites

and if you rag on my spelling i will ping you heh heh


 
Good Grief (none / 0) (#2596)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:51:25 AM PST
Why does the youth insist in fighting a war that doesn't exsist?

This article was a joke, if you can't see past your own nose to see that, tough.


 
If You Were My Dad I'd Beat The Shit Outa You! (none / 0) (#2599)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:45:55 AM PST
Do it dooggy or die!

0


 
For people who are having trouble with this: (none / 0) (#2600)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:47:00 AM PST
Satire: 1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
synonym see WIT

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary

For those who still don't get it: It's a joke.


 
have u people NOT figured out that this is a joke? (none / 0) (#2601)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:55:09 AM PST

this is obviously a joke, no sane man (or woman) would ever write a thing like this.



wake up


 
i think i screwed his daughter (none / 0) (#2603)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:03:30 AM PST
gibbons? lol, i screwed some chick once with that last name, sara gibbons, maybe she's his daughter! haha!!! i screwed that dumbasses daughter!!!


 
There are only two infintie things... (none / 0) (#2605)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:11:06 AM PST
The universe and human stupidity... and I'm not so sure about the universe.

There was a time when I could be 100% sure that posts like this were troll bait... Now that I'm older and wiser I realize that there are people out there who are as ignorant as this person sounds and can turn on a computer. It's a sad realization.


 
idiot (none / 0) (#2606)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:18:47 AM PST
the one who wrote this article is a gibbering moron... lol...


 
You pig!!!!!!!! (none / 0) (#2607)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:18:55 AM PST
You are sutch a macho pig!!! I know some girl hackers and they can kick ass when there doing it, and just by saying that girls can't hack makes me want to bitch slap you right now you mr. no balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 
give the guy a break (none / 0) (#2609)
by quelhorreur on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:52:10 AM PST
give the guy a break...he's obviously being ironic(i suppose).
otherwise his opinion (as stated here) would make him the stupidest person alive (if not the stupidest person ever to have walked on the face of earth).
yet, i still believe that this is humor and i also believe that this is the funniest shit i ve ever read on the net...
give us more.



 
To the father who wrote this, you are a damn fool (none / 0) (#2610)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:55:52 AM PST
When I read this I couldn't stop laughing. I mean, is this serious or not? This is some of the most stupidest stereotype shit I have EVER hear to this day about hackers. The damn polls you put up, just everything. It all is a joke. Stop wasting peoples time thinking up senseless shit. You are a father that should be executed on the spot for thinking up stupid shit. HAHAHA QUAKE? The raver gear! Ahaha... idiot. Go to hell.

-phalluz


 
To the father who wrote this, you are a damn fool (none / 0) (#2611)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:59:16 AM PST
When I read this I couldn't stop laughing. I mean, is this serious or not? This is some of the most stupidest stereotype shit I have EVER hear to this day about hackers. The damn polls you put up, just everything. It all is a joke. Stop wasting peoples time thinking up senseless shit. You are a father that should be executed on the spot for thinking up stupid shit. HAHAHA QUAKE? The raver gear! Ahaha... idiot. Go to hell.

-phalluz


 
muhahaha (none / 0) (#2612)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:59:39 AM PST
that article is funny, but a little bit "to"


 
lmao (none / 0) (#2613)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:08:07 AM PST
It's funny to see how dumb some of the comments made about this article are. Do you people not realize that the family described is the Brady Bunch (six kids, peter, cindy, wife named carol)?

WTF? You're lamers and I think you should kill yourself for taking this so seriously.

I'm too lazy to register an account here, so blow me.

-policy11


 
STILEPROJECT (none / 0) (#2614)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:28:17 AM PST
It got LUNKED!


 
I d 10t problem (none / 0) (#2615)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:29:55 AM PST
this all is either a really big joke or there is something wrong with our society.

this is the reason i beleive in
"Thining the Herd"

there are to many people out there that are really like this. I have worked in phone based tech support for about 4 years now and have decided that with our current growth rate and the fact it seems only people like this breed that much (6 kids). I beleive we should start eliminating from our society people like this. These are the same people who are against sex ed in school when apparently they needed it (again 6 kids). We need to stop these people from breeding. My answer is to take warnings off of things like hair dryers so people of the aparent intelligence level shown in the article would have ended their own lives long ago.




 
Hahahahahahahaha (none / 0) (#2616)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:39:52 AM PST
You silly fool. You have already given us hackers everything we need to know to completely ruin your life.... I have used my evil computing powers to lower the food quality at your local McDonalds, AND Taco Bell!!!!

Muhuhuhahahahahaha


 
OK, we won't. (none / 0) (#2617)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:41:04 AM PST
"I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. ... It cannot be taken too seriously."

you mean this isn't real?
Swift, boys.
nyuk nyuk nyuk ^_^


 
You are all....stupid? (none / 0) (#2622)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:57:57 AM PST
Okay. Read the article again. Don't you see it's satire? It's humorous. This isn't meant to be serious. Have you even browsed around in this site to see what its content is all about? Silly people.

Loved the article. Takes a brilliant mind to make it so convincing. Then again, most of these people are coming frmo the stile project so I guess it doesn't take much to convince them =)


 
blah (none / 0) (#2624)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:00:55 AM PST
it was a nice funny text, but some idiot's really believed that this was maent seriously
my god are some people stupid

Oh and why weren't icq and irc mentioned and mac???


 
Arrogant Ignorance! (none / 0) (#2625)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:01:31 AM PST
You know, as a teacher, I see a lot of ignorance. And ignorance is a forgivable thing... In fact, ignorance is what gives need to teaching.

HOWEVER, when ignorance is combined with the flagrant arrogance of the person who wrote this essay, it becomes dangerous and despicable!

Almost **ALL** of the information in this essay is factually incorrect. Much of it appears to borderline on libel (from my own person, non-expert opinion), and it is yet another case of parents witch-hunting to absolve themselves when their children engage in behaviors that embarrass or upset them.

Bottom line : If you read this and believe it, you will act incorrectly and on false information. It is astoundingly irresponsible for this to be posted as news.

Shameful.



 
"parent" (none / 0) (#2626)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:02:13 AM PST
This is the most moronic, uneducated, and idiotic thing I have ever read. I feel violated by reading this stupidity. A monkey that runs around on the screen and just says stupid things is a hacking tool??????? If the writer was so concerned maybe he should research these things first instead of thinking it's a "hacking" tool????? It shows how interested he really is in what his son is doing. "Lunix"????? What the hell is that???? Don't you mean Linux????? He's not even concerned in finding out what OS his son is using. How dare he call himself a "parent". Kids can sue their parents these days and I would hope that his son does so for infringing on his rights and accusing him of a federal offence. Learn how to be a parent and how to be concerned about what your son is doing you idiot. Get an education you paranoid lunatic!!!!!!! Give your son his rights back!!!!!!!!!!


 
You are all morons. (none / 0) (#2627)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:07:53 AM PST
Did any of you ever stop to think "Dad" is some pimple faced geek trying to get a rise out of YOU? This IS the funniest shit I've seen, and a SCREEN SHOT OF THE WHOLE WEBPAGE would be a wonderful poster on my wall. Anyway.. None of what ANY of you are talking about matters even the LITTLEST bit.. So get a life? :) - abusive


 
your all morons (none / 0) (#2628)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:10:38 AM PST
this man was clearly making this webpage as a joke..the whole thing is satire..get it through ur idiotic heads


 
are you a hacker? (none / 0) (#2629)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:20:40 AM PST
Muhahahaha

. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without
destroying part of your hard disk surface

look out for this too

rm -rf C:\winnt

;-)

P.S. there is now way this is serious, if it is well I bet the author lives in the mid west

-- Jeff d'Ambly
Network Engineer
http://www.monster.com
--------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is up.


 
MR. TIMOTHY Z. READ THIS. URGENT MESSAGE. (none / 0) (#2631)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:32:56 AM PST
hey Mr.Z try using some frickin brains and going to your nearest computer store and asking the most upright person that works there (yeah, the ones that dont look like h4x04$) and ask them what the hell all this stuff is, your freakin moron, hell, ask everybody in the dang store, they'll all tell you the same stuff, that none of this crap your saying here - is truthful, geez, what a numbskull, you seem like a guy that uses his frickin head, so go use it, <a href="http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=moron">moron</a>.


 
Joke? (none / 0) (#2632)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:37:33 AM PST
This can't be serious. If anyone reads this message, know this, the opening "article" on this page is utter falacy.


 
This sounds familiar (none / 0) (#2633)
by Q on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:38:18 AM PST
Take a look at this writing at Antionline.com.



Adequacy's article looks suspiciously familiar to the above, but since there was no credit, I guess it's coincidental.


 
Funny (none / 0) (#2634)
by Cowboy Dick on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:39:25 AM PST
This is truly one of the most hilarious things I have ever read. It's going to take a lot of effort for the author to get his tongue out of his cheek.


 
Ever heard of irony? (none / 0) (#2635)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:40:45 AM PST
this is a fine specimen of afforementioned joke-form.

i applaud the success of mocking the readers unconditional acceptance of the writers sincerity.

i just laugh at the whole matter, and check back on a weekly basis for now..


 
i needed a laugh! (none / 0) (#2637)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:44:02 AM PST
hahaha what an idiot...i feel sorry for your son to have you as a parent...comet cursor...hahaha...ohhh you can really crack the codes having a cool cursor..30 minutes isn't even enough time to check my email...


 
OS/2 Forever !!! (none / 0) (#2638)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:45:08 AM PST
BEWARE OF OS/2. IT IS THE WORLDS SUPER VIRUS !!!!!


 
pure gold (none / 0) (#2639)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:48:36 AM PST
this is the funniest fucking thing i've ever read nono not the article, it sucks and isnt even funny. its the 176 nerds who wrote back up in arms thinking this story is actually true(well some caught on)... get a clue you fucking boneheads


 
Satire RULES! (none / 0) (#2640)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:54:43 AM PST
Best Humor i've seen in a long time - keep up the good reads ;)


 
you are a complete idiot (none / 0) (#2642)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:02:08 PM PST
i am amazed that you were even able to turn on your computer and write that piece of shit article. it is almost unbelieveable that almost every single thing you said was completely wrong. if there is anything that you wanted to teach to people it was most certainly that you are fucking stupid and that you should be the one that should never be allowed to touch a computer. thanks for your ignorance, it only makes me feel smarter.


 
Good gravy! (none / 0) (#2644)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:09:42 PM PST
Alright, alright.

Will everyone who thinks this article is not a joke please get a clue? You people have no appreciation for dry humor.

But of course, is this in response to my not understanding the dry humor of your posts?

The world may never know.

Honestly, people.


 
Wow.... (none / 0) (#2646)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:18:00 PM PST
You have got to be the biggest damn moron I have ever seen. I feel dumber for reading the flith you spewed forth. I really hope this is a joke... Oh please please let this be a joke.... If this is real then the author is a sorry sorry man, and needs to go back to school.


 
HAHAHAHA (none / 0) (#2647)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:19:57 PM PST
What a laugh must be the best PISS take I've seen for a while. Well I hope this article is here to get a rise because otherwise it shows the worst ignorance I've come across but has anyone followed the links like spanking.com under spanking, within the context of that paragraph highly funny !!!!!


 
The Fine Line (none / 0) (#2649)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:28:07 PM PST
Dear Recipients,

I am parent as well and have to agree with this individual's article as i found similarities in my sons activities. I found certain software such as FateX, AOHell and other "proggies" on on my Windows95 operating system. When I called the internet to fix my computer they told me i had a trojian horse virus and that my credit card number could be stolen!! Computer hackers should suffer the greatest punishment of all. I do not want my son to sufer this great punishment, so i will stop this. I do not want Warez all over my computer or porno from his newsgroups. He has even lost the ability to spell poperly as he now types his conversations in the following fashion:

Susy, you are 1337 hax0r, i luv u, i gotz ta go and frag some mofos on quake now, laterz

Do you love your children? I do! Put a stop to Linux, Warez, Proggies and all other ISPs other than AOL! Microsoft Rules, I am gay!


 
Bravo (none / 0) (#2650)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:31:53 PM PST
First, bravo. I congratulate you on the comic relief content of your article. However, I have but a few minor corrections:

1. Do you want to know why your son wants a high speed ISP? Do you really? Are you sure? Okay here it is... porn. That's right. Hardcore, triple X, ass pounding, cum guzzling, silicone enhanced, 18-year old, amateur slut fucks doing the nasty in every conceivable position, 24x7, full-screen, in-stereo, porno vids.

2. Do you know want to know your son spends hours every day on the computer? To get away from a father he believes is the biggest dumb-fuck in history. That... and porn.

3. Did your daughter ask for a webcam for her Birthday? Good. Yes, that's right. I have seen her naked.


 
Please remove yourself from the gene pool! (none / 0) (#2651)
by HonkyTonkMan on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:36:06 PM PST
If this is a joke, brilliant! If not, well, I feel kinda sorry for his kids.

Reg, do your kids say, "Dad, when I grow up I want to be a dumbass just like you"?

Buster Hymen


 
roflmayo (tm) (none / 0) (#2652)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:43:13 PM PST
Somebody has been watching Seventh Heaven waaaaay too much.


 
This is great!!! (none / 0) (#2653)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:49:05 PM PST
I always wanted to be a hacker and now i know how. My ass is ganna get linux, download bonzi buddy, and me and him are ganna hack into everyones steroes and snag all there music with the help of the software "mp3" of course. but b4 i do this i better log on to quake and get some tips from the other pros u know just incase i got to shoot my way out of this some how ill be ready with my intence arms training that it gives me. lol. U sir are a dumbass. I really dont know what else to say. DUMBASS! if u put so much research into this u would know that just about everyting u said was wrong. retard


 
like moses leading the jews... (none / 0) (#2655)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 12:55:05 PM PST
you post lies and we will come. Your site will fall to its knees and apologize and explain or the traffic sent to your site will overcome your provider or your budget. I have sent this story to every person I know with the request that they do the same. Whats next?? gonna post that we should start looking for witches again or that the world is flat? phukin idiots...what will it take??

HAIL SATAN...pfft... idiots


 
yea, right (none / 0) (#2658)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:04:15 PM PST
if this 'article' is for real, serious as in this person truely believes all this, GET HIM HELP, FAST!!! he needs a psych evaluation and a GOOD explanation of what a hacker is, and what a cracker is, and what a freaker is and their definitions.

otherwise, i take this as a parody/joke, of which he did a good job IMHO. LOL. AMD being 'evil', and Linux coming from Russion. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


 
like moses leading the jews... (none / 0) (#2659)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:05:03 PM PST
you post lies and we will come. Your site will fall to its knees and apologize and explain or the traffic sent to your site will begin to overcome your provider or your budget. I have sent this story to every person I know with the request that they do the same. Whats next?? gonna post that we should start looking for witches again or that the world is flat? phukin idiots...what will it take??

HAIL SATAN...pfft... idiots


 
idiot (none / 0) (#2660)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:06:18 PM PST
1. This guy does'n know a thing about computers and internet...
2. AMD is the best!
3. Linux rulez...and everyone should be using it..not only "hackers". Someone who dosen't work in the computer industry and hears about linux on TV and radio that is the most used operating sistem in the hacker's worls thinks that everybody who uses it is a hacker...man..look at this man..he thinks Linux was built by a Soviet whan actually it was built by a student "AMERICAN" student...lolz.
In the end...our parents are 0 in computer...only a few know a little about them...
maybe this is another Microsoft policy to encourage people to work with Jindoze...'cause if you don't ... you're a little hacker...
So...in the end...
!!!!HACK THE UNIVERS!!!!


 
Father of the Year ;)) (none / 0) (#2661)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:06:32 PM PST
Boy, this is the funniest "really ment" article I've ever read :)))

Stupid people REALLY EXIST!! ;)
Congrats, Mr.Gibbons ;)

- DrC -


 
is your son a hacker (none / 0) (#2662)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:08:07 PM PST
That is complete bullshit. Hackers arnt bad. Crackers are bad. Hackers make the internet. you wouldnt have the internet without hackers. We fix the problems crackers make. you judge us all in the same category. Do not stop your kid from learning about technology, your retarded if you do. Your taking their ability to become someone great away from them. Think about it. Hackers dont destroy things. You all listen to too many people bad mouthing us, when they really no nothing at all.


 
If you were my dad I'd have suicidal thoughts (none / 0) (#2663)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:08:19 PM PST
I know this is probably a joke, but if I had a dad that gay....well....I dunno I'd slap him.


 
lol (none / 0) (#2664)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:09:08 PM PST
LOL :-)

This article was very funny to read! 1337

But something even funnier are all the comments by all those people that don't understand that this is a _joke_.


 
Surprising..... (none / 0) (#2667)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:18:03 PM PST
This article has to be the dumbest thing ive ever read. i can not believe that any one would actually take any of this serious. This guy is gay and apparently does not know anything about computers.

Mark collins



 
good dad? You smoke crack!!!! (none / 0) (#2673)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:26:49 PM PST
If my dad was butting in as much as you do, i'd fucking have a complex by now. A big fucking complex. Lunix? lol
quake 3? the "gateway for hackers" it's a game you dumb fuck. start looking at articles on the internet b4 you make shit up off the top of your head.
I'm a computer networker, and none of the things you've mentioned are signs you dumb fuck.

thanks for making me laugh.




 
HAHA, MORONS! THE LOT OF YOU!! (none / 0) (#2674)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:28:22 PM PST
Haha, did anyone ever try the links? It's pretty obvious it's all a joke when taking a closer look at some of them!


 
You have made the world a more terrible place. (none / 0) (#2680)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:47:36 PM PST
Author of this article..

You are a perverse mind.

You destroy the livlihood of others, because you are so petty.

You take away the gift of judgement because you are too stupid to know that your children can make choices for themselves.

You are ignorant.

You are illusioned.

You are pathetic.

You are the waste that pollutes this earth.

Sleep well tonight.


 
huh? (none / 0) (#2683)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:54:16 PM PST
All I can really add to this giant posting orgy/cluster is that I smell the largest multiple plaintiff slander lawsuit this nation has ever seen. The nonsense about AMD using slave labor is absurd, Kathy Lee doesnt make CPU's ;op


 
C'mon people... (none / 0) (#2684)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:56:55 PM PST
This is OBVIOUSLY a joke - my grandmother knows more about computers than this guy claim to know.



 
reference to article......... (none / 0) (#2687)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 01:59:04 PM PST
Your article goes on to tell the reader all about your supposed knowlege of hacking and what you believe it to be, but then goes on to tell the reader about spanking ( hypertext linked ) - MAN WAKE UP !!!!!! www.spanking.com is a PORN SITE you idiot. How much can you preach to your child about hacking when you are a porn gazing ASS yourself !!!!!!!!!!!!
jackhack20@hotmail.com
http://www.communityzero.com/leh.cfm

come and see what real hackers are about DUDE !!!!!


 
Boy, you need to lighten up (none / 0) (#2688)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:03:55 PM PST
First of all, you are not the model parent. If you really do go to their parties and monitor what they watch and read then you need some help. Give them a little freedom of choice. If you keep up with what you are currently doing, those kids of yours may end up with a rifle up on a tower somewhere. Also, get your terminology correct. If you know about computers, then you will know that "Hackers" are not the ones who put viruses into computers; they are not the ones who hack into large companies. Hackers are an elite group, society if you will, who are most commonly employed by the largest software companies. The ones who make viruses, hack into large companies and cause trouble are called "Crackers". Hackers are a very proud group of people who do not stand for performing stupid acts of vandalism. And that's all I have to say.


 
!YOU FOOL! (none / 0) (#2690)
by wheeeew on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:06:26 PM PST
It is quite depressing to read the crap that you wrote. You are a very misinformed old man. AMD makes the best processor you can buy for the money or maybe even period. I ask for new hardware like bigger hard-drives, new GeForce 3 vid cards, memory, an AMD processor. So does that mean I am an avid hacker? I hate to burst your bubble but your son wants a new video card, memory, etc so that he can run his "hacker" game quake and get together with his hacker pals. You moron...quake is just a game for people to play when they are bored...not once have I seen people dicussing hacking over the game. Maybe your son just has a passion for computers and likes to spend time on them. I spend many hours a day on my computer doing professional websites and graphics. I probably make a better living than your sorry ass. So I guess I qualify as a hacker. I feel bad for you man...I'm 15 and I'm more intelligent than you are. So I recommend that you get up to date on some correct info and give your son a chance...poor guy has to live with you. GET A LIFE


 
Uhhhh (none / 0) (#2693)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:12:34 PM PST
Ok...What drugs are you on and would you share them..Yeah I cant blame yer kid for wanting to get off aohell. I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but you are about as sharp as a bowling ball...dumb as a brick. Get it ? Do you have any other children that lived ? Or is this really some kinda joke just to see how many posts you can get about this...if thats the case good job but if not..then you really really really need to get your head outta the clouds or outta church or wherever your thinking this shit up...man what the hell is this world comming to


 
hope for the future (none / 0) (#2694)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:15:05 PM PST
You have 6 kids? Most people in America know when to stop. You are not helping the overpopulation problem at all, are you? I hope that none of your children grow up to be like you, misinformed and retarded. Your son denied that he was a hacker because he is not one, none of the things that you have listed are signs, you are a crazy old man that does not know up from down. I hope that Peter will grow up and stay strong with his current ways, and that you have not influenced him in anyway to treat his children like you have treated him, with ignorance.


 
yep i really would like (none / 0) (#2698)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:21:56 PM PST
i think....i really would like to have an hacker in the family!
mad_f

now find me...i'm on the web..like someone said!


 
U such a wack ass (none / 0) (#2700)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:25:07 PM PST
you are one stuipid ass fucker .. what kind of a freak you are man ... i cant even imagine you freak bitch ass fagget .... what do you know about hacking u waste of sperm and what kind of parent u are ... u fake ass shit nobody would let you go to teen parties u dumb fuck .... and your son probobly fucked your wify u dumb piece of shit


 
t reginald gibbons, you're my new hero! (none / 0) (#2702)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:26:42 PM PST
sorry about the anonymous post; too much trouble to create an account for my single response.

i have to tell you -- i love you. you're one of three possible things; fbi flushing out actual and potential hackers by waiting for responses to this wonderful article; someone who really is as ignorant as you appear on the surface of the article and have a lot of misinformation (but i doubt this; you give yourself away by your knowledge of too many programs, you can't be that stupid and that well-informed at the same time); or, what i believe is the case, someone with a intelligent sense of humor, with a great sense of the absurd. well written!

hats off to you pal; nicely done. ;)

~ xenotech

4786@opg.org




 
You are a DUMBASS Sir (none / 0) (#2704)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:28:10 PM PST
man you are a fudging moron.
you say you are a modern parent but you are obviously not.. you are very conservative in your views...
kids need to be allowed to express themselves anyway they want.. music, clothing etc.
and you dont know shiz about anything you are talking about..
your son was probably not even hacking at all. but your stupid ass wouldn't know the difference anyways if he was chatting on Mirc or hacking.
YOU ARE FUCdING stupid.. read some of the others peoples comments and you can see what an idiot you are..... you probably got shiz for brains.
thank you
sincerely ,
the hater


 
i really hope this is a joke (none / 0) (#2707)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:37:41 PM PST
this must be a piss-take. Surely the whole thing is a big joke? tell me the worlds not going mad.


 
In reply to the MORON who wrote the 1st post here! (none / 0) (#2708)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:38:26 PM PST
You are a fucking idiot!! Sometimes a little knowledge is dangerous, but this is fucking ridiculous. You are an idiot! Where the fuck were you born anyway? Must have been some other planet...get a fucking life you asshole!


 
This from a guy that supports Bin Laden (none / 0) (#2709)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:43:50 PM PST
Check out this guys diary and story in praise of the murdered of innocents and the defacer of the Muslim belief!

http://adequacy.org/?op=displaystory;sid=2001/9/29/81437/6983


 
This is very short... (none / 0) (#2711)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:49:07 PM PST
You are an idiot!!!


 
This is funny! (none / 0) (#2712)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 02:49:24 PM PST
Dear Sir,

You have to be the stupidest person ever to live on this planet. I play the game Quake and no I am not a hacker so you can kiss my ..., well you know what i mean. Just because I use a computer for more than 30 minutes a day doesn't make make me a hacker. YOU ARE RETARDED!!!!!!
FREAKIN LOSER


 
this post was terrible (none / 0) (#2714)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:01:56 PM PST
This was the most uneducated and pathetic post's I have ever read concerning computers, technology and children. Claiming Linux is a hacker o/s is simply not true. Claiming that teens who play quake are striving to be hackers is also a fabrication. These assertations have no merit and only show the author's true disdain and lack of knowledge concerning technology and it's subsequent impacts. One thing the internet has no boundries on is people's ability to post fabricated, uneducated drivel. The author of this post does a disservice to himself, his children, and this website by even posting such garbage.


 
Riiiiight (none / 0) (#2715)
by EKButtercup on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:08:51 PM PST
I read this cos it was posted in a friend's LiveJournal as one of the funniest things he's ever read. Turns out he was right.
If your kid is doing all of the stuff described in this article, he or she (yes, <B>she</B> - as a computer science minor I am very insulted by the "girls lack the skills" comments) is more likely a future billionare.
Bonzai Buddy as a hacker program!?!?!?!?! LOL!! My roomie's parents have one of those.
And I highly doubt time in front of the computer causes meningitis. I know a ton of people who would be dead right now. Computer radiation?!?!?!?! I wasn't aware my computer ran off of nuclear power... gee, guess I can pull the plug out of the wall.
Most of the things described in the article are simply signs of a normal modern teenager ::gasp::
How dare you decide to try a new style or hair color - you MUST be a hacker!! Especially if you're having a bad day at the same time.
Uneducated people attempting to make a stance on something they know nothing about are more of a threat to modern society than a kid who likes to play computer games. The braod generalizations and stereotypes portrayed by this author are a prime example of why the generation gap has grown so tremendously.
And you call yourself a good parent...



 
This is a hoax... (none / 0) (#2716)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:20:56 PM PST
That post has to be a hoax. Please god let it be a hoax. I cannot fathom that there are individuals out there that could actually post such drek and not be pulling our legs.... How could a human being be so uniformed to not research the terms he is espousing? This has to be a hoax.


 
I think i became dumber by reading this article... (none / 0) (#2721)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:27:11 PM PST
This is a Fuc$ing joke u gotta be kidding me, bwhahahahhaha WHAT A MORON is all i can say. Leave it up to a parent to try to tell you who a hacker is? Does this guy even know wat a hacker is? I gotta comment on this classic, he is doing DOS? Which is gaining access to the command prompt BWHAHAHAHHAHAHA AHAHHAAHAH OMG This is so hillarious. I challenge all the people that agree with me to think for a moment, if parent's assumptions are so... how warpped and twisted do you think their rules and assumptions and everything else in the world is?


 
This is too funny (none / 0) (#2722)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:27:38 PM PST
All I can say as a hacking consultant to the FBI that I certainly hope Al-Queda and/or the Taliban get their hacking know-how from this article, just like they got their nuclear weapons plans from the "Journal of Irreproducible Results". What I'm trying to decide is, if in the long run, morons like the author of this "article" are actually making my job easier.


 
this page is linked from stile project (none / 0) (#2725)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:34:48 PM PST
its also a well known fact that taliban used the so called 'quake' program for advanced weapon training


 
your a dumb bitch hahahahahaha (none / 0) (#2727)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:39:56 PM PST
this is the stupidest thing iv ever seen your sons a raver sweety and quake is an online video game not a breeding pit for hackers and gun happy americans. your a suburban mother that is scared of the new changing world.


 
Lie o Joke? (none / 0) (#2729)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:42:02 PM PST
This text above is one big lie. It is a lie of that big, it must be a joke. No other explainment is possible. Author of this article is joking or is totaly doped.
Marek
m.simon@sh.cvut.cz


 
I speak for the people.... (none / 0) (#2731)
by wheeeew on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:46:34 PM PST
On behalf of everyone that has everyone that has EVER touched a computer...we all owe you a big F*UCK YOU sir. You deserve it =O


 
Idiot (none / 0) (#2733)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:48:09 PM PST
This is the most idiotic stories I have ever read. Either someone wrote this for laughs, or this parent is someone of major ignorance, paranoia, and insecurity. Either way, I found hilarious =)



 
ur are the biggest retard i have ever seen (none / 0) (#2734)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:49:49 PM PST
seriously u should be taken out and shot if you believe any of that crap that u wrote.

you're the kind of guy whos kids will never visit him when they grow up.

you are the definition of retard you moron.


 
Sad. Just sad. (none / 0) (#2735)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:53:35 PM PST
This is one of the most idiotic stories I have ever read. Either someone wrote this for laughs, or this parent is someone of major ignorance, paranoia, and insecurity. Either way, I found it hilarious =)


 
you are the biggest retard i have ever seen (none / 0) (#2736)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:54:16 PM PST
seriously u should be taken out and shot if you believe any of that crap that u wrote.

you're the kind of guy whos kids will never visit him when they grow up.

you are the definition of retard you moron.


 
Funny (none / 0) (#2738)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 03:58:06 PM PST
I needed a good laugh, thanx


 
Ahemm... (none / 0) (#2739)
by Liete on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:02:08 PM PST
Dear Mr. Gibbons,

You should be ashamed from your Disinformation, Ignorance and Sexism, I usually wouldn't give this junk more importance than it really has (exactly Zero), but unlucky on the Net there's who may even believe it which is sad I think.

As I said I won't waste more of my time commenting this junk more... that really seems just a bad joke.

With my more sincere Disregard,
Liete.


 
Another thought..... (none / 0) (#2741)
by wheeeew on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:04:46 PM PST
Hey...we're sitting here baggin on the dad and shit. Rightfully so I might add. He had some pretty ignorant comments. But think about it. He must have witnessed his sone doing some of this. So his son is some newb that thinks he tight cause he can use telnet? hahaha. I wonder how much of that was told to the dad by the son. Wow...that whole family is completly incompetent. Just a funny thought....Also...he talks about "Lunix" (linux) removing sectors from your hard drive? And then that you have to send the WHOLE computer back to the manufacturer to get the hard drive replaced? Wow...first off if his son is such the "hacker" that he's made out to be...then he is smart enough to know that you just delete the partition by Formating or just deleting the partition. Or if it came down to it install a new HD. I wonder how much that dad has blown on new computer parts....I really hope that post was a huge joke because it is too funny to be true.


 
ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (none / 0) (#2743)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:08:06 PM PST
Haha , everyone thx for the good laugh, unfortunatly there are far too many replies to read em all but I get the general concensus.

Also.

Noone can be as stupid as to be serious about Gibberlings article.

Conclusion.
Its a joke. Can't believe so many actually thought this was ment in a serious way.

Sidenote.

If that article actually was intended to be serious I hope Afgahistan bombs flat the whole world with some nice anthrax BECAUSE THE HUMAN RACE DOES NOT DESERVE TO LIVE IF IT PRODUCES PEOPLE LIKE HIM.

Anyways, thx for the laughs :)
And dont any of you parents/adults here even remain here for another minute , Go Away, as there is nothing here that could do you or your offspring any good. Unless ofcourse you take the article also as a joke.

Grimorium, 19 yrs/The Netherlands/In possession of a brain/Male


 
What....... (none / 0) (#2745)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:11:11 PM PST
your an idiot


 
Hacker Dad (none / 0) (#2746)
by Polaris on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:13:50 PM PST
Wait a min.
That 1950s tone, that constant reassurance of his own false reality,

Dad, is that you?


 
This Is What Gives "Hackers" A Bad Name (none / 0) (#2749)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:18:13 PM PST
I Recently saw this posted in one of my regular boards, as a joke, it seems many people have read it.

First of all, i would like to outline that Most, if not ALL of your Indications of a hacker are wrong.
Flash, Comet Cursor and Bonzi Buddy are deffinately NOT "Hacker" Applications, Flash is used to display grafics within a HTML page, most web designers use it, Comet Cursor, an addon that changes the cursor when you visit a site / hover over a link, and Bonzi Buddy, im not quite sure what this is, but i know its been installed on my computer from a third party installation of registered software.

Linux, well.. what can i say, Linux is also NOT a "Hacker" Operating System, in your ignorance you failed to see that around 60 - 70% of all servers on the Internet today are Linux - Unix or BSD Based, Microsoft themselfs even use linux Operating systems within their Network

And as for the Quake comment, i realy don't want to mention.
You have, made a fool of yourself through lack of research
Mr.Model Parent, i suggest you READ the books you confiscated from your son, and you may learn somthing.

This is todays ammusement for me, i laughed so hard AT You, i nearly fell of my chair.

Have fun

MaxMouse


 
YOU ARE A MORON!!! (none / 0) (#2754)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:26:32 PM PST
man you are obviously not a good parent because yuo obviously have no idea whta your kid is doing. just becasue he dresses a certain way does not make him a hacker and the program your talkking about is LINUX... not lunix...dumbass... anyways just wanted to tell you that you are a .......

DUMB MOTHER FUCKER

and you should leave your kid alone.


 
Ummm.... (none / 0) (#2757)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:29:10 PM PST
I think this is supposed to be a joke. Someone went very purposefully out of their way to be as stupid as possible and get facts completely wrong. I think this is an effort to show parents that they really don't know jack about what's best for their children, and they need to back off. You can't tell what's right for another person. And if you don't understand computers, in the name of all that's good and holy, stay the heck away from them, and stop trying to protect your children from the boogeymen under their bed.


 
Hmm... (none / 0) (#2761)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:32:26 PM PST
Everything has already been said, but I'll just add this:... Oh heck, it's not even worth adding anything.


 
total misinformation (none / 0) (#2762)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:37:18 PM PST
aol has no real security, the major of "script kiddies" and "hackers" i have talked to or heard about know where to download programs to control chat rooms, create/edit accounts, change records or actual on-line times, etc. All of the programs mentioned in the article have nothing to do with hacking.
What the hell is wrong with you people? Learn how to actually operate, understand and fix a computer before you worry (for the wrong reasons) about your kids becoming hackers. Dont just jump to conclusions after you read some garbage, take time to learn


 
BEG your son's Forgivness (none / 0) (#2763)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:39:07 PM PST
You owe your son a serious apology, he didn't deny anything he was telling the truth and you wouldn't believe him, rather you decided to let your ignorance decide that some brat's hissy fit was a good enough reason to keep your son from becoming a capable member of his generation. What if your parents had punished you for being involded in a "GANG" when you were a Boyscout or part of some other club? The sick part is that you probably excuse yourself by trying to say you had your son's best intrests in mind. Total BS... your first sentence was a lie, "I'm very involved with my kid's activities" (or whatever that BS was). Garbage, a concerned INVOLVED parent would say "Ok son make sure that you finished your homework and then we will get online and play some Quake together." Take this as consolation pops when you are drooling and rotting in some old folks home your son's kids will be HACKING the pentagon with a top of the line computer, all because you had to be a tightassed jerk and couldn't give your own child the benefit of the doubt.


 
the brady bunch (none / 0) (#2764)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:44:41 PM PST
ahh yes, peter cindy and carol, the infamous characters of the brady bunch, thank god this is a joke


 
AHAAH (none / 0) (#2766)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:54:19 PM PST
OMG FUNNY
whoever wrote that its fuckin hilarious
gj make more



 
Translated into Polish... (none / 0) (#2767)
by Savitch on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 04:55:01 PM PST
Czy tego gooecia kurwa pojebao? czy On... przepraszam on mia kiedykolwiek cokolwiek wspolnego z komputerem? Przeciez zeby napisac cos takiego, to trzeba byc bitym przez 20 lat swojego dzicinstwa... Nie wystarczy byc zwyklym idiota... Koles jest po prostu wyjatkowy. Mimo wszystko, serdecznie mu wspolczuje dzieci hakerow... :)
Nie wiem, wiecej juz laciny nie znam... po prostu brak mi slow...


 
Hilarity (none / 0) (#2771)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:02:26 PM PST
Tell me, have you ever considered a career in comedy? "how to tell if your son is a computer hacker", is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read. You have managed to lower the average I.Q. of yourself and your fellow countrymen to approximately 3 (relative to chimpanzee's, of course).

Perhaps you should spend a little less time being a moronic, idiotic fool whose utter credulity defies belief, and try questioning what you see on television (no, it's NOT God). Or, heaven forbid, read a book. (They're quite popular amongst people with even the vaguest glimmerings of intelligence, nowadays.)


 
FUCK U (none / 0) (#2772)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:05:24 PM PST
U ARE A FUKIN DUMBASS PROGRAMS LIKE FLASH ARENT BAD U SHOULD NO CAUS U SEEM TO KNOW HTML AOL SUCKS ASS ILL HACK UR FUCKIN SITE BLINK 182 SATAN IS GONNA KICK UR FUCKIN ASS U STUPID SON OF A BITCH LOL


 
LMAO!!! (none / 0) (#2773)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:06:38 PM PST
most of the people who responded to this negatively are just as idiotic as you claim the writer is.

this is obviously a joke and it has to be one of the funniest things ive ever heard.

Third World AMD

lunix

hahahahaha
to true computer enthusiasts, this is probably the most hilarious arcicle to date!!


Does your son play Quake? (ROFL)


-The Occiput


 
shut the fuck up (none / 0) (#2774)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:11:55 PM PST
you are such a fucking moron first "comet cursor" is a program that allows you to change you pointer(the thing that moves with the mouse) and second "bonzi buddy" is an interactive purple ape that teaches(yes teaches) by telling tidbits of facts lastly you the biggest asshole i have ever known have you ever even looked at the programs? just shut the fuck up you ass and do research next time(real research)


 
A lovely bit of satire (none / 0) (#2775)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:15:49 PM PST
Made all the more hilarious by the individuals that appear to have taken it at face value.



 
C'mon folks (none / 0) (#2776)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:16:16 PM PST
There is no possible way this article is anything more than a fabrication...a hoax. It can't be anything more than a joke. There isn't one single piece of accurate information in there.

Jump on the bandwagon and get yourselves a sense of humor.


 
tsk tsk (none / 0) (#2777)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:17:55 PM PST
ssh, you don`t know what your talking about. heheh


 
H4x0rz!!! (none / 0) (#2778)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:19:04 PM PST
3y3 4M H4X0R J00Z D00DS 4 TH15 AR71CLE!!! J00S AM B3 L337 LUNIX LUNIX LUNIX.

3Y3 AM H4X0R J00 W17H BONZEH BUDDEH!
BONZEH BUDDEH GO H4X0R TEH STUPID R3TARDO MAN!

AND FL4SH!
j00 D0NT Won'7 j00r k1dz t0 h4x0r r3tard0 movehs!!!!!

D1P5H17!!!!

Rofl
no seriously, this is very funny. If my parents were like that, I would kill myself.



 
I can't stop laughing!!! (none / 0) (#2779)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:21:12 PM PST
<b>Problem 1: You have 6 kids.</b> Ever heard of condoms? People like your are the cause of OVERPOPULATION, and the extreme size of your family obviously prevents you from spending enough time to research your kids' interests. Instead, you make up a bunch of shit that just isn't true to try to cover your own ignorance. A DOS attack is gaining access to a command prompt? Bonzai Buddy for hackers? (No hacker would install that program!) AMD is a third-world rip-off? (AMD makes faster and better, albeit less rugged, processors than Intel. <b>And if Taiwan is still considered a third-world country, then you'd better throw away the motherboard, memory, CD-ROM drive, video card, sound card, cabinet, and possibly monitor, because these are all made primarily by Taiwaneese companies, yes even COMPUQ systems.</b>)

<b>Problem 2: You are a dumbshit.</b> See problem 1 as evidence.

This can't be real. You can't be a real person, can you? Can you???

hahahahahahahaha
ahhahahahahahaha
aahahahahahhaha


 
what are you talking about (none / 0) (#2781)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:21:45 PM PST
I have a son

God forbid that I show such ignorance and treat my boy like this


 
oh please (none / 0) (#2782)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:22:38 PM PST
this article is satire.

i am the only person here over 14?

i mean, come on guys - this is meant to be a joke....

"Hey fucktard. Flash is what designs websites"

lol

oh yeah - flash adds blast capacity to the intarweb, the ultimate web design tool! (that was sacasm for those having trouble with the concept)


 
What a bunch of morons (none / 0) (#2783)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:22:45 PM PST
if you think this is real you need a fuckin life

stupid kiddies


 
Sad man... (none / 0) (#2786)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:27:45 PM PST
Ok, I "hack" when I get bored, I make straight A's, I don't wear "bright clothes". With glow sticks, I'm sorry man, but your totally fucked up on your thinking... I start on the H.S. Basketball team, I'm not unsocial, sure I don't talk alot, but that's because of where I live, and nothing happens, so I find no reason to bug people, because I get pissed when someone comes up to me and goes, "Hey, what's up?" Knowing that they themselves don't have this to talk about, and think I'm going to carry on the convo. But "hacking" is very easy to do, and *Linux* is barely used for hacking, it's a server, for your website(s). Flash for hacking? Fucking pathetic, and Bonzi Buddy, even more retarded... Bonzi Buddy is a search engine program you get when you download Kazaa you fucking retard lol. Sad... But if anyone, of the "grown-up" crowd, or anyone for that matter would like to carry on this convo, go ahead... Anthony8646@yahoo.com OR Anthony@thugnetwork.net ThugNet <---My site, about hacking!!! Not really...


 
IDIOT (none / 0) (#2788)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:30:31 PM PST
YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER SEEN. first of all Comet Cursor isnt a hacking tool, all it does is change your cursor, my freakin dad uses it. And BonziBuddie is definately not hacking software. All you can do with it really is make the monkey tell you jokeand facts, and make it say things.

AND AMD IS NOT HACKER PRONE. YOU'RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT THAT EVER LIVED.

Tell me, how does Intel prevent hacking? THEY DONT AT ALL. Intel and AMD processors are both prone to the same amount of use for hacking.

AND QUAKE A HACKER PROGRAM? you are retarded, i hope you die a horrible horrible death. MAY A ROCKET LAUNCHER STRIKE YOU IN THE TESTICLES


 
A genuine thank you (none / 0) (#2790)
by wheeeew on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:35:19 PM PST
Kudos to whoever wrote this. I now look up to you as my comical god. Keep it up =)


 
It's a sad sad world... (none / 0) (#2791)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:42:47 PM PST
You know this world has gone to absolute crap when a father posts something like this. 99% of the things this father said were totally off base, and some were flat out WRONG. I honestly wouldn't be suprised if this post was actually a joke by some young kid. I laughed throughout this ENTIRE post! Good stuff, keep it coming, I enjoy this wonderful nonsence.

- Deus


 
no need to yell, but this "article" is t (none / 0) (#2792)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:45:50 PM PST
Without touching upon the issue of whether or not hacking is simply i crime of curiosity, i must say that this article is quite off base. The closest thing to true was the mention of bonzai buddy and comet cursor. However, the "hacking" involved here is statistics and personal information being relayed to businesses and other 3rd parties. I would not be surprised if AOL got information from such programs on what adds to show you and your kids to get you all to buy buy buy. Furthermore, America Online DOES NOT provide better protection from viruses or other nasties than software like Norton AntiVirus. All aol does is tell you its protecting your kids by CHOOSING FOR YOU what is and isnt appropriate. It is a corporate censor. The rest of the article was ridiculous. Do more research and then maybe you can right something.


 
You never did your home work did you??? (none / 0) (#2793)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:47:18 PM PST
What are you talking about. One AMD makes chips in the USA.... Two Quake is a game made by IDsoftware. Three you really need to look for more informations before you post something like this. You have just set yourself up for A MAJOR LAWSUIT......If you did look into computer hacking you would know that you dont need the lastest greast hardware to hack. The internet has been around for ages(386 13Mhz ring a bell???). Just because your son was do hacking doesnt mean that everything and every other company out there is bad. You have just been brain washed just like everyone else who belives the TV......... Now do some real work and find some kind of infromation that you can base this whole damn thing on and then we'll talk.
By the way I have been working in computers for 10 years now. Computers and Games dont kill kids is the way the see their lifes... No matter how hard you try you need to remember on thing. Its all how you treat you kids, not how you make them live their lives..


 
ass (none / 0) (#2795)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:50:08 PM PST
you're an idiot.

that is all.


 
surely... (none / 0) (#2796)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:50:39 PM PST
No one is that ignorant. This absolutely has to be a hoax. This really must be someone trolling for flames to amuse himself. The alternative is that this person is stupid beyond comprehension. Even the most red-necky inbred flag-waving, god-fearing folk can't be completely lacking in common sense. Someone must be trying to get traffic on the site, and if so then I applaud you. You got a post out of me. But if you are for real... then I fear for us all.


 
BULLSHIT (none / 0) (#2797)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:52:41 PM PST
Sounds Like im a hacker....
3. Has your child asked for new hardware?
And I have an AMD.
5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? 3-4 hours.

6. Does your son use Quake? Hmmmm YES.

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? I wouldnt call it obsessed.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance? HAHAHAHA THATS FUNNY (NO)

10. Is your son struggling academically? YES.

That is the funniest thung I have read in the last year .. Its is full of S**T.


By the way im 15



 
wow (none / 0) (#2798)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:53:44 PM PST
Thank you for this amazing piece. I juat want you to know that imediately after reading this I went and found that short woman with the squeaky voice from the poltergeist movies and had her perform an excorcism on my computer. All the demons of lunix(wich is even worse that linux I've heard), as well as my satanic cable connection were promptly sent to the bowels of hell.

Whether its serious or a joke ... Mr. Gibbons is a friggin genious.

"This PC has been excorcised..."


 
Morons (none / 0) (#2799)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 05:53:59 PM PST
Guys it's a joke, you know, like humor and stuff.


 
LOL (none / 0) (#2802)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:01:14 PM PST
Thats all that needs to be said... to the comments here, as well as the article. LOL

Its obviously a joke... and the folks who are going "Your article helps keep parents like me informed" are just playing along.

-Razoras


 
YOU ARE THE DUMBEST ASS PERSON ALIVE (none / 0) (#2803)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:02:53 PM PST
Well I belive if i were your kids I would blow my head off. I bet your one of those parents whos kids hate you so much but they just do things to make you feel like you the best little daddy alive. I would hate to be your kid I would kill my self!!!!
Oh yeah you have no idea what programs you use to hack plus half the shit you named comes with windows its all legal shit head even linux is they sell it at walmart. Linux doen't fuck up your computer you are the biggest dumb ass on earth. you need to acctually sit down and do some research not just pick stuff out of a book and say its bad. You have no clue as to what you use. I can't belive you think a cursor program is a hacking program.

Also your kids will grow up in a bubble they will never e able to get out in the world and do anything. You need to let them grow up. You son who is a hacker all the power to the Haxor. Haxors rule bitch. Also i am pretty sickened by your description of hackers were acctually pretty good people if you don't piss us off. Well go fuck your self Bye bye




 
Oh Dear (none / 0) (#2804)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:07:37 PM PST
"Whhoooosssshhhhh"

Hear that? That's the sound of something going over the heads of at least 90% of the people here.


 
You're definitely stupid... (none / 0) (#2805)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:08:14 PM PST
You are so wrong and so stupid.

If you want to talk about "Children Hackers" come and talk to me. I am a former webmaster and current network admin for a prominent government agency. If you want to know why you're stupid send me an e-mail at shorts@sandtech.net


 
Interesting (none / 0) (#2808)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:11:04 PM PST
Well, obviously the majority of the information here is totally incorrect, but the part I find interesting is why whoever is hosting this page is allowing this persons article to remain. While much of this article is allowd under "free speech" the references to AMD and the now deceased @home, for exampe fall under the laws regarding "slander," as the person commenting, in the AMD case, created a link to the Intel website, since whoever wrote this's position is not known, AMD could, should they desire to legal action against this webhosting service and the person who wrote the article. I just thought I would share this valuable information.
(btw, being a 4th year Law Student in University comes in handy sometimes)


 
WELCOME TO FAGOTVILLE. POPULATION = YOU! (none / 0) (#2811)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:27:34 PM PST
This is clearly satire. To everyone who has posted in ignorance of this blatant and obvious fact, you are truly the fools, and I pity you.


 
uh huh (none / 0) (#2812)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:27:58 PM PST
this article is obviously a joke. honestly though, you shouldn't let your kids hang out with candy ravers, they look like morons. breaking into people's stereos to steal their music sounds neato though.


 
ATTENTION! (none / 0) (#2813)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:31:51 PM PST


   YHBT. YHL. HAND.





 
are you on fuckin crack? (none / 0) (#2817)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:35:40 PM PST
you deserve to be hit by a fuckin bus! You are poisoning our gene pool! You dont have a clue what your talkin about.


 
Guy on Crack? (none / 0) (#2818)
by thegerm on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:37:47 PM PST
hey this has got to be the gayiest thing i have ever seen, Quake is a 3d enviorment where hackers go and learn how too use weapons and stuff, so is a kid going to goto school one day and shoot up his class with a "Rail Gun". I never knew Flash was a hacking program whoa man you must be elite if you know all this can you mentor me and my friends! please mr.hacker god guy. i mean come on you have got to be the gayiest person on the face of the earth if you think thats all true. Just click here please
<a href="http://home.dal.net/shrub/youare.swf"><b>Too Funny!</b></a>



 
you have no idea what youre talking about! (none / 0) (#2819)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:39:31 PM PST
First off, which im most ticked off about, the people you described as hackers, those are called ravers. They are people, not hackers necissarily, who believe in peace love unity and respect. And some have been known to be involved in the drug ecstasy, but it never used to be that way.. so anyways, Bonzi Buddy is not a hacking program. Its a search engine helper thing for computer illiterate people. IM going to keep this short-- you dont know what youre talking about. And its spelled linux.


 
Guy is on Crack?? (none / 0) (#2820)
by thegerm on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:41:01 PM PST
lol, hey this has got to be the gayiest thing i have ever seen, Quake is a 3d enviorment where hackers go and learn how too use weapons and stuff, so is a kid going to goto school one day and shoot up his class with a "Rail Gun". I never knew Flash was a hacking program whoa man you must be elite if you know all this can you mentor me and my friends! please mr.hacker god guy. i mean come on you have got to be the gayiest person on the face of the earth if you think thats all true. Just click here please Too Funny!


 
you idiots shut up, all of you (none / 0) (#2822)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:43:09 PM PST
anyone who did not know this was a joke is dumb.

if some of those comments you heard ofended you because of your sex, then you are also dumb. don't think of things as male and female competing against each other, think of it as yourself as an individual competing against everyone else. It is a fact that men are physically stronger than women, sorry. That doesnt mean that a woman can't be stronger than a man, it is a generalization. Stop whining and go prove yourself, cause when feminists start to whine I (and probably many other, not just men) think it is the most annoying thing in the world.


 
Hmm, let's see evidence against you. (none / 0) (#2823)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:43:14 PM PST
Let's see, I played Quake for 5 years of my life. I'm not a hacker.
I use a computer more than 8 hours an average day, 3 of those hours MANDATORY at school, I'm not a hacker.
I use LINUX I'm not a hacker.
I use comet cursor on my site (which I'm now doing on my own), I'm not a hacker.
I'm switching to AMD, I'm not a hacker.
I'm doing a total computer revamp, I'm not a hacker.
So my words to you, get a life, get a brain, and SHUT THE UP UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, YOU'RE AS BAD A JJ2K1 AND HE'S AN IDIOT.


 
you idiots shut up, all of you (none / 0) (#2824)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:45:01 PM PST
anyone who did not know this was a joke is dumb.

if some of those comments you heard ofended you because of your sex, then you are also dumb. don't think of things as male and female competing against each other, think of it as yourself as an individual competing against everyone else. It is a fact that men are physically stronger than women, sorry. That doesnt mean that a woman can't be stronger than a man, it is a generalization. Stop whining and go prove yourself, cause when feminists start to whine I (and probably many other, not just men) think it is the most annoying thing in the world.

OH YEAH! WASSUP DIASPORIANS!


 
Dude are you trying to be funny? (none / 0) (#2825)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:48:45 PM PST
Thats not hacking. Thats exploring. And were did you hear that AMD isnt sold in stores? Its sold everywhere! anyone with half a brain would know that. They make some of the best and fastest processors out there, and the video card is most likely for videogames, cuz lots of kids do play video games now days, if you let your children a little slack and let them explore there childhood they might actually open up to you a little more. You are DUMB!! Or were you just trying to make the smart people laugh? Cuz i sure as hell did. Peace


 
funny (none / 0) (#2826)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:49:02 PM PST
a friend at school showed me this article and this is the funniest damn thing i ever saw. but what make's me really laugh was the bible thumping dude defending the writer of this article when it is a obviously a joke, i mean the guy says he has six kids, a wife named carol, son named peter, a daughter named cindy, and he has the perfect us family. ever seen the brady bunch? and just go ahead and click on some of those links. one link talks about us morals and takes you to bill clitons profile, another about spanking takes you to a porn site, and the one about the creater of linux takes you to a picture of boris from golden eye on n64. i have to admit i thought it was real to but if you read it a secound time it is a obvious joke.


 
WHAT IS THIS CRAP!? (none / 0) (#2829)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 06:58:39 PM PST
none of the things reginald said is true. if you really want to hack good you need to use a macintosh every hacker knows that. what is wrong with AMD chips? did he get a grant from intel to write this bogus story and cut down AMD? sorry but i like AMD. i like a processor that is half the price of an intel and is faster and more stable. i also like larger hard drives cause i can load on more games like QUAKE and i like more memory so i can run these programs BETTER. bonzi buddy is an annoyance and comet cursor is just irritating. AOL is about the worst ISP you can have. i work for an isp and there is no way an isp can control content. if a person knows how to hack, they can get by and isp security. i know a lot of people that look like what he describes as "hackers" and i can safely say not a one! is a hacker. if i had to make a guess, his family is very screwed up and his "son" was just trying to live a normal life. also, you can own every hacking book in existance, that is not illegal. knowing every last thing about hacking is not illegal. doing it is. oh yes lock up your guns but if you have a hacker more than likely he can find something that will tell him how to unlock those guns. reginald is just a paranoid moron trying to hold together his little world and he should NOT, I REPEAT, NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!


 
Hacking Programs (none / 0) (#2830)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:00:40 PM PST
Since when is Bonzi Buddy, a desktop 'friend', a hacking program. lol... My mom even uses that, and she doesnt know the difference between ISP and IP. Comit Cursor? That just a corny little program which allows you to change your lil cursor into a picture. OHHHHHH, big hacking device there, ehh. That leaves Flash, which is only used to view crap online. If flash is a hacking program, then i guess so is windows media, realplayer and quicktime.


 
hacker (none / 0) (#2831)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:01:44 PM PST
to whoever wrote that article,
I have all of the above, so i guess i am a hacker. and you sir, are a complete fuckhead dumbass.


 
Linux is illegal ?! (none / 0) (#2832)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:03:00 PM PST
k, let me get this straight, if linux were illegal and developped by a russian (both bot true, but read on :), he would have based it on a program written by microsoft (which everyone uses) for the US governement (stay away from me) which you can use to grab credit card numbers ?!

So what did the US have in mind for it ? and why are you still using microsoft software ?!

GET LINUX !!!

=)


 
thanks for the laugh (none / 0) (#2833)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:04:12 PM PST
Man, that was a good laugh. Whether this post was a joke or if it was serious (if the latter then you are seriously misinformed) its still funny as PHUCK. :) good one.............


 
THIS GUY WAS SERIOUS! (none / 0) (#2834)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:04:40 PM PST
HOLY CRAP i thought this was a joke someone wrote. This cant be for real. This had to be something someone made for laughs. Noone in the world is dumb enough to wright what was on the page. I think he has a heavy case of dementia!

I HOPE AMD SUES YOU YOU DOUCHEBAG.

goddamn he didnt even mention anything about hacking. Bonzai buddy WTF youve gotta be kidding me. The poor kid is probably traumatized from his old man ass raping him because of his idiotic disillutionment. Flash isnt...
whatevr its too much work to type the rest of the insulting comments for a person so dumb he deservers to have a small child stare and hear the mother say, "dont point jr that man is "special""

:p


 
Comet Cursor!!! (none / 0) (#2835)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:06:48 PM PST
Boy that's a laugh. Sir, you need to get your facts straight.


 
O_o (none / 0) (#2836)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:07:08 PM PST
HOLY CRAP i thought this was a joke someone wrote. This cant be for real. This had to be something someone made for laughs. Noone in the world is dumb enough to wright what was on the page. I think he has a heavy case of dementia!

I HOPE AMD SUES YOU YOU DOUCHEBAG.

goddamn he didnt even mention anything about hacking. Bonzai buddy WTF youve gotta be kidding me. The poor kid is probably traumatized from his old man ass raping him because of his idiotic disillutionment. Flash isnt...
whatevr its too much work to type the rest of the insulting comments for a person so dumb he deservers to have a small child stare and hear the mother say, "dont point jr that man is "special""

:p




 
You probably like CAPAlert, too (none / 0) (#2837)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:10:00 PM PST
You're an uninformed idiot.

I must be a hacker! Oh, except I'm not a boy. And I use AOL-gee, maybe I'm NOT a hacker. My boyfriend is attractive, popular, well-liked, does well in school, and has never read Gibson in his life. He wouldn't wipe his as with an AOL disc. And yet, he is indeed a hacker.

I'd try to see your point of view, but I can't fit my head up my rectum.


 
you are stupid (none / 0) (#2839)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:15:35 PM PST
You sir are a fucking complete retard. wht? are you fucking mormon or something? jesus christ you are fucking stupid!


 
my sympathies to your children, mr. reginald (none / 0) (#2840)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:15:40 PM PST
It makes me wonder how kids will grow up to be intelligent and educated if they have parents like the writer of this ridiculous article...unless this is a joke? (I hope)
The worst thing is even if this is, there are some computer illiterate people who might take it for fact...
In fact this article seems to be the sort of thing that leads to ostracising of people just because they dress differently and like other things.
Misinformation is the darker side of technology and unfortunately this article is the culmination of technology and ignorance.
And, I'm not a hacker-I'm a graphic designer who thinks that people like you, and those who support you should never be allowed to buy a computer or even use one at the library! Anyone who thinks BonzoBuddy and Flash are hacking programs shouldn't be allowed to be in the same room as a pc. I'm surprised you were able to submit this article in and reply to the posts, considering the total lack of knowledge you have.


 
Think before you speak (none / 0) (#2842)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:25:07 PM PST
The vast majority of what you said is complete fiction. Before you embarrass yourself again, please do some research before posing.


 
Proof (none / 0) (#2844)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:26:48 PM PST
This Comment is directed towards he who has written this article and/or any of those who support the nature and text of this article.

Where is your solid, uncontrivertable, and documented proof that any of the above so-called "signs" of being a computer hacker are in any way indicative of a person being a computer hacker and furthermore breaking any law at all? As a side note I would also like to mention that you should spell check, proof read, and check your sources before posting another such article.


 
hehehehe (none / 0) (#2845)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:27:38 PM PST
This is a very well written article, some of the nicest satire I've seen in a while - well done.

Only thing is, perhaps it is too subtle. For people who don't know anything about computers and who don't bother to click on the links (also funny) might actually think this article is serious and do some damage to their relations with their children (or just make a fool of themselves!)


 
What the hell is the matter with you idiots (none / 0) (#2846)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:30:13 PM PST
if you dont see this as a joke, pease type format C:\ into your promt. and i would like to mention something i read as a post "Hackers do not need video cards as most real hackers use DOS" ....come one, no one else thinks thats the funniest thing they ever heard..?? anyone???


 
GREAT article (none / 0) (#2849)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:37:05 PM PST
The writer is a genius. It took me a while to realize it was fake, its writing style really makes you think its a real parent preocuppied with his sons mischief. Im sure you can all see how this is just an article made by someone his is laughing out loud right now, specially after reading some posts from people who think its serious. The bonzi buddy and comet cursor was brilliant. Oh, and the name he uses for Linus Torvalds ( i think its spelled that way ) is hilarious.

L.W.




 
awesome article! :) (none / 0) (#2850)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:37:33 PM PST
i think that every single parent who thanked the person who wrote this and every pissed off 'computer' person is a great example of ignorance. as a computer science student, i can assure you all that the person who wrote this has a brilliant sense of humour that we here (at Texas A&M University) have enjoyed tremendously. Thank you whoever posted that, the joke itself is great (Linux part ESPECIALLY, i can't believe people thought you were serious after that!) but it's even better with a fuckload of comments from people who are retarded enouhgh to believe this is true.

technically, guys, your intelligence level is the same as would be of the man who wrote it if he actually meant it.

still laughing my ass off @ the dumbass who assured you that CometCursor and BonziBuddy weren't hacker tools.

WRITE MORE SHIT LIKE THAT! ;)


 
This is great (none / 0) (#2851)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:39:23 PM PST
Oh my, Oh my, Oh my
This is nothing but utter bullshit but it is the funniest thing I have ever in my whole life seen. Please keep it coming mister, please find more infomation on hackers i need more laughs. I don't know if I will be able to sleep.

By the way if your child plays landmine on his computer he is training for anti-govermental jobs. He has joined a underground militia and is planing to take over the world. Delete it quick and call the police, the devil has gotten a hold of him and this is the only recourse to save him.

lol, this is so sweet.

Dark_Madness


 
HAHAHAH! (none / 0) (#2854)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:48:32 PM PST
You're foonah! FOONAAAAAH!!! :)

Come on guys, no-one could write something like this and not be joking :)


 
Tsk tsk tsk... (none / 0) (#2856)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 07:50:52 PM PST
You Stupid people... your calling the writer of this artial ignorant... I ask you to look to yourself, and relise what an ignorant fool *you* are... I mean honestly... isnt it half obuvios that it was written by someone trying to stir a laugh...

Shesh... some peoeople...

-= [SQ] ownz j00! =-


 
Your hacker article is complete rubbish (none / 0) (#2858)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:01:16 PM PST
I just read your article on your son's hacking. My only comment is that barely anything you wrote of is any indication of hacking. AMD does not make ripoffs of Intel chipsets. They are in fact a very well respected company and can be purchased in any computer store. Glow sticks and pacifiers have nothing to do with hackers. They are carried by 'ravers' (people who frequent raves) or wannabes. Extasy is a drug commonly found in the rave scene. It is an amphetamine derivative and when taken has some temporary side effects, one of which is grinding of the teeth. They carry pacifiers so that when they have taken extasy, they don't grind their teeth down but instead bite on the pacifier. There are so many other mistakes in your article that space nor time constrictions allow me to elaborate. If your going to attempt to perform a community service for other parents, at least get your facts straight.


 
Human Stupidity. (none / 0) (#2860)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:04:43 PM PST
1. I am not a hacker
2. The person who posted the message "Is your son a computer hacker" has very little idea on how to use a computer.
3. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Im not eeven going to post a rational message or explaintion for the many flaws in your comment cause simply I DONT HAVE THE TIME.

I would like to just state: People who post messages like this shouldn't deserve use of anything invented after the 1300's.




 
This is the stupidiest thing i have ever read (none / 0) (#2861)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:08:25 PM PST
My god that person that wrote this can be serious......

any 1 that know something about computers would lauf his way to death....

and dont even get me started about aol...... SUX


 
**shakes head** (none / 0) (#2864)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:14:22 PM PST
My god people, it's supposed to be satirical. Don't take it so seriously. Very few people are stupid enough to actually believe that.


 
Ummmmm..... (none / 0) (#2865)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:20:17 PM PST
You idiots do realize that the article is a joke right? Right?? Oh god, my faith in humanity just went down again. *sigh*


 
this is the most fucked up thing iv heard. (none / 0) (#2867)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:23:44 PM PST
nmber one....its LINUX you moron. number two this is the stupidest thig iv ever read. just becasue someone wants new hardware or has new programs doest mean they are a acker. they coud have visited www.cnet.com and gotten a FREE DEMO. AOL fucking sucks more balls then a two dollar whore in vegas. only retardos like yo want to use it. linux was mad for web servers in which ou get your information from for yo shit like net nanny.
its more difficult to hack into linx server then a windows becasue bill gates is a theif and doesnt kow ho to make an O.S. just becasue someone wants to use linux doesnt mean anythng. hell i us linuxon two of my computers and have no problems with them. you have probally read the bullshit that people like you write and belived every word ofit. if you want real inormation about hacking visit www.hackology.com www.hackers.com. on the first link for hackology there is an article about a young man getting into a microsoft test server. i know this person becasue he is me. now if you think your son is a hacker because of some ullshitreason like the ones above then you need help. im not a hacker i just mis typed aweb address. i do know how to hack and ido know where to go for thigns like that. but since people like yu have nthing beter to do then start shit with peole that know more then you likeus you can collectivley kis all of our asses!


 
props to the writer..... (none / 0) (#2869)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:29:20 PM PST
Funniest satire piece I have ever read on the net.


 
good lord (none / 0) (#2870)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:29:57 PM PST
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah everyone does a lot of hacking with comet cursor and bonzi buddy, damn talking bird. What kind of jackass are you? And as for wanting to switch providers? For gods sake AOL is dialup and @home is cable, don't you see another motive smart guy? Could it be A QUICKER FRICKIN CONNECTION?


 
w00t! (none / 0) (#2871)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:33:47 PM PST
I'm 17 years old, and I know what I wanna be when I grow up: a h4xx0r! Yes, I shall drain everyone's bank accounts by mp3ing into the microwave and using that Loonix thingie (which is actually a subsidiary of Looney Tunes, don'tcha know) to make everyone's computer who's looking at this site suddenly grow feet and kick you all repeatedly while chanting in l447 and forcefeeding you peanut butter and amphetamine sammiches!

Wait. Nevermind, I'm a girl.

I'm gonna go be a hacker's whore! Ahh, the life... sitting at my h4xx0r love's feet, basking in the glow of the monitor's nuclear waves...


 
Illiterate simps.. (none / 0) (#2872)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:35:07 PM PST
I guess sarcasm is simply lost on some people. I didn't bother to read all of the replies, but in skimming them, I didn't see a single one that acknowledges this writing for what it is, a comical satire of computer-illiterate parents who fear their children's overuse of computers. Oh hell, now you've gone and made my analyse it. When you analyse something funny, it cheapens it. Thanks a lot ya chumtoads.


 
Did anyone even connect to the links... (none / 0) (#2876)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:43:16 PM PST
Half the links dont even make any sense...for example the link to "denials" leads to the site explaining the clinton case....wtf!? what does that have to do with hackers? I especially thought it was funny for the more "hacker friendly service provider" was for excite!, one of the top names in database search engines and is highly reputable! The author could be summed up into a few words: Misinformed and a comical idiot\geneus(still havent decided which though).


 
End of the world (none / 0) (#2880)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 08:53:18 PM PST
Does this mean that if we let this go on that in 10 yrs time it could be the end of microsofts monopoly of IT industry. Well I will encourage all my children to become hackers and Hopefully one day we will be free from memory hungry 'pretty' OSs.



 
What in the world ??? (none / 0) (#2882)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:11:47 PM PST
I am a 48 year old father of two teenage children ( 17 and 19 ). This is either the funniest thing I have ever read OR the saddest. We have had a computer in our house for the last 11 years in which my children have become quite proficient. We play " Quake 3 " together and have not yet gone out to kill people with guns ( although they have been taught how to safely use one) I hope to God in heaven this was meant as a parody of the " book burning, PC accepting " yuppie types that seem to churn out maladjusted kids with THEIR version of " nurturing parental care ". You could read the " Made in Phillipines, Malaysia or Costa Rica on ANY Intel chip.



 
What AMD really means!!! (none / 0) (#2884)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:30:16 PM PST
AMD is an acronym like NASA (National Aeronautics Space Administration). AMD supposedly stands for Advanced Micro Dynamics, but it is really a joke to the Third-World funded Processor Czar Lachezar Mikhalov, who is quoted as saying that AMD actually stands for "Americans Must Die". This is substantiated by the incryption code used in the DHTML and JavaScript on the AMD website. www.amd.com BEWARE!!!


 
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! (none / 0) (#2885)
by vulcanon on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:31:39 PM PST
THIS ARTICLE IS HILARIOUS!!! DAMN, I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOUR SON RIGHT NOW. I WOULD HATE TO BE GENETICALLY RELATED TO SUCH A RETARD LIKE YOU. IT AMAZES ME JUST HOW IGNORANT AND STUPID SOME PEOPLE CAN BE. I THOUGHT MY PARENTS WERE BAD WHEN I TOLD THEM THEY RECIEVED A PRINTER VIRUS BUT....GOD, AOL IS FOR HACKERS? THIS ARTICLE IS SO FUNNY.....BTW IT IS GETTING PASSED AROUND THE INTERNET AS WE SPEAK JUST FOR ITS COMIC VALUE. IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR RETARDEDNESS IN ACTION, GO TO VIRTUAL-HIDEOUT.NET OR BLUESCREENOFDETH.NET. BELIEVE ME, YOU NEED TO BECOME A COMEDIAN BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY PARENTING ISN'T YOUR BEST SKILL. MY APOLOGIES FOR MY HOSTILITY BUT THIS ARTICLE IS TRUELY REDICULOUS. LEMME GO HACK ON BONZI BUDDY NOW....ROTFLMAOPIMP!!!!!!! (FOR YOU THAT MEANS : ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF PISSING IN MY PANTS) :-) (THAT MEANS HAPPY FACE)


 
HaCker (none / 0) (#2886)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:39:20 PM PST
Is The author of this article retarded. What the hell kind of research did you do to delve ino the dark world of computer hacking. (ooohhhhh) I can tell by the way you type that u are prolly using win 3.1. Get a life. Your son one day is gonna end up paying ur bills one day so get of him now. Who knows this activity of his might actually make him rich. By the way who told you that you cant hack with aol. Sure they have filters but the do not control external applications. Only the stuff in the window. So you open IE do your thing and bounce. Plus if your son cant hide an application from a dufus like you he should not be allowed to touch a computer because he is that dumb. And I am glad to see you went out and got a quality comp for your kids like a compaq. Was it on sale at kmart.....If you were only willin to invest that lil into your childs education what do you expect. In closing Screw You.


 
ignorance (none / 0) (#2889)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:50:46 PM PST
your ignorance is both infuriating, and saddening


 
hackers post (none / 0) (#2893)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:02:28 PM PST
u have no clue at what ur talking about, i think that personally ath u have a problem, possiblay that u where too sheltered as a child, and that currently that u are in denial of the fact that ur child knows how to use a comp with out ur help, and on top of that u probally have a poor relationship with him/her so get a life do some research, cause 99% of what u stated is false


 
Is this a joke? (none / 0) (#2894)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:05:32 PM PST
Come on, nobody can seriously be this prejudice and ignorant all at the same time...right?

LOL!

I think I've wet them :|


 
HaHaHa (none / 0) (#2895)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:06:44 PM PST
omg!!! i have a 1.33ghz amd procecor a g-force2 ultra and 5 hard drives and a cable modem i have no internet child protection becous i would just delete it and i have a masive mp3 collection 2000+ plus i play quake all the time (quake3a that is) and i am nowwhere near to a hacker i know some c++ and i use 3dstudio max alot to make modles andstuff like that that is the extent of my computer use your sone was probobly some what doing the same thing you @#$%!


 
Is your parent a lamer? (none / 0) (#2899)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:14:54 PM PST
Do they belive this drivvel? Are they still having trouble with the pocket calculator? Is the ON/OFF switch for the light of hi-tech? Is electricity still a "new fangled thang that won't catch on!" Can they work the VCR?

Ok, so the last one isn't a good example, but I'm sure you get the idea. Whoever sold this prejudice technophobe a computer should hang there head in shame.

Still, it made me laugh! :D


 
Your a nazi (none / 0) (#2900)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:16:02 PM PST
and I feel sorry for you children.

and don't make fun of us otaku. We're not hackers, were animation and video game fans. there's a big difference dumbass.

Know what your talking about before you post crap. You obviously don't know shit about computers.


 
HAHAHAHA (none / 0) (#2901)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:19:21 PM PST
HAHAHA...That is hilarious! How about this one?

#1 sign your child is a hacker...
Any member from any federal agency shows up at your door...

Thats a good sign...


 
lunix (none / 0) (#2902)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:25:42 PM PST
woo-hoo comet cursor and "lunix" lets h4x0r the fbi to the m4x0r.


 
Pray that your son really is a hacker and shut up (none / 0) (#2905)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:34:51 PM PST
I hope you read each one of the comments that everyone has left for you, i have most are very well thought out and give you insight into what a hacker is and isnt. Perhaps you are simply to stupid to realize that "hey this is the computer age"
Maybe the definition of the word hacker eludes you, a summary of what it says in websters is simply a computer enthusiast , hey guess what moron YOU ARE A HACKER.
As to why you should hope he is a hacker, it means hes about 50 IQ points ahead of anyone in his grade and has a huge edge over anyone in the work force. If you havent noticed computers are everyware , your son , might actually grow up to be a success , but why would you want that.
heres an option, take away his computer and let see what kind of REAL trouble he can get in.


 
this is funny (none / 0) (#2906)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:36:26 PM PST
Can't anyone with a good sense of humor see that this is a joke? Some of you are getting so upset over this... its meant to make you laugh because it is so rediculous.


 
10 Signs Your Son Is A Hacker (none / 0) (#2907)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:40:37 PM PST
What a load of crock. How neat and tidy for this parent to lay the blame on "hackers." Are the signs different if it's a daughter that's doing the hacking?


 
You might be a hacker... (none / 0) (#2910)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:47:23 PM PST
According to T Reginald Gibbons' logic...

If your son knows more about computers than you, he might be a hacker.

If your son knows how to use a search engine, he might be a hacker.

If your son knows the binary number system, he might be a hacker.

If your son doesn't electrocute himself by turning the computer on, he might be a hacker.

If your son just astroturfed your pickup truck, well then you got real problems because he just might be a redneck.


 
What the...? (none / 0) (#2912)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:54:40 PM PST
Did the author of this "article" do any research on any of the subjects mentioned? How did this article get onto the net without someone stopping the author with a "Are you a fucking retard?!"?
I'm speechless at the sheer stupidity of the ridiculous views expressed in this article! I- a-- e- m--- g- -n...geez! I cant even talk properly I'm so amazed!


 
I should add this (none / 0) (#2914)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 10:56:26 PM PST
Basic Stuff
most programs you listed are for fun, not for hacking and cant be used for hacking

The books, one in partiular snow crash is so NOT hacking its sad, its a great story but its fake, we dont live in virial reailty now do we

Amd is Faster then pentiem in every way, and is cheaper.. not a knock off you retard

Better Vidoe Card for a hacker? WTF? I think most your artical proves your kids a gamer you mook.

Linux is FREE the reason People download it is it free and down need to upgrade all the tiem

I cant even reply on most the crap you said its so stupid.. like I said The Pasifier,, while alot kids do it not knowing what hell its for, is for kids who take E.. Also if you kids has a gas Mask, thats for E to.. maybe some other drugs to.. they coat it with vasaline to intesitfy the high

Well im done this was stupid...
I mean i think its funny the guy of this website posted it.. but wtf how stupid HOW STUPID this stupid guy is stupid.. no other way of saying it
STUPID


 
wow (none / 0) (#2916)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:08:01 PM PST
this has to be the funniest thing i have ever read i mean come on... if u monitor your kids like that they are bound to be screwed up in the head.. neon clothes? you have to be kidding me... i mean how stupid and closed minded can we be....


 
Are you people for real? (none / 0) (#2917)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:13:24 PM PST
Anyone who read the Gibbon's post and then wrote an angry (outright huffy in many cases), piss and vinegar follow-up comment are the truly dangerous parents here. Basically, your kids have no chance because you're a humorless chump who cannot appreciate a genuinely funny and clever indictment of the internet-age parent and hacker misnomer. In fact, I go to school with your kids and they suck alright.

Did you watch 'This is Spinal Tap' and think it was a hard-hitting documentary about rock and roll's fleeting glory?

As for the piece itself, f-ing genius! That is the funniest thing I've read in awhile so THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


 
HAHAH (none / 0) (#2918)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:17:31 PM PST
This is the funniest post I've ever read. I couldn't stop laughing for hours. If this is a joke, it's pure genious. If not, pure retardation.


 
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa (none / 0) (#2919)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:22:27 PM PST
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


 
Uhm.... (none / 0) (#2920)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:23:08 PM PST
Hey, everybody.. this is a joke, right?

I mean, come on... this is just someone's way of saying 'Haha, isn't this funny!'??????

Please tell me that this isn't serious, because if it is, I'm going to lose my respect (what little I had left) for humanity...

Really.

Please.

This HAS to be a joke.





Right?



--RogueAssassin


 
Is this for real old timer?Are u really that dumb? (none / 0) (#2921)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:24:20 PM PST
Hahahaha.. its very funny seeing someone who thinks he knows computers get shot down by people that actually know what they are talking about.. the comet cursor thing was the most hillarious hunk of junk ever.. expecially since all my school computers have it on them.. its used for fun not for hacking and all of the other things you have said are total bullshit.. I am on the computer alot and that is not because im a hacker I enjoy computer programming and enginering. I also play video games alot and know that their is no real threat with these games.. I used to play quake and the only reason people play it is for fun.. i know everyone else has said it but let me add it as well because its so true.. YOUR A TRUE IDIOT!


 
Bravo (none / 0) (#2922)
by MikeB on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:32:30 PM PST
Well done to the author. You must be extremely proud to have fooled so many people. I can't say that I've ever seen a more painful display of pitiful, mind numbing stupidity in my life. The fact that this message board is full of people actually arguing about this piece is something that makes me ashamed to be a member of your species.
How can you people not see that this is article is an extremely well-thought out, hilarious joke? If not for the sheer length of the bulletin board, I would have thought that the posts themselves were part of the joke as well. As a couple people have already said, his family is the fucking brady bunch! How could he not make it more clear to you!? And the Bill Clinton bio for the morals link? Hilarious! And please, everyone follow the link at the bottom of the page that has an image that says "Powered by Scoop". Scoop is a lunix (hehe) based bulletin board engine. This is so obvious people! He's pissing on your head and telling you it's raining!


 
heheh (none / 0) (#2926)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:47:43 PM PST
I bet this guy saw hackers
(wich is not what hackers are like)

man im sorry I wish I could say something but tis all been said.. read up man read up

only real problem I have is that Amd crack.. I mean come on.. have you been to a compter store.?

Amd is faster then pentiem and better for games.. that why kids want it.. its cheaper also so you should want it.. I think that some kid made that hacker thing for a joke or the website guy did for hits I mean come on


 
Jesus, some of you ppl...... (none / 0) (#2929)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:08:04 AM PST
I can't believe there are some of you that took that article seriously! It's a spoof ffs! Along with everything else on this site ;) (some of it quite funny though)


Gawd almighty............:P


 
LOL (none / 0) (#2930)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:09:35 AM PST
Here we see an incarnation of Adolf Hitler, who tries to dictate the world.
Starting first from family i see


 
haha this is the funnyest i have ever read (none / 0) (#2931)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:11:00 AM PST
ok if this is a joke, this is pretty funny but if this not then this dad needs some help. uesing flash, Comet Cursor,Bonzi Buddy thats a joke and the AMD thing please AMD is a great comp. this is funny but if this true for a dad to belevie this he one dum "mf" (hackers will take over) peace


-=[Acid Rain]=-



 
Damn stewpids (none / 0) (#2933)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:17:49 AM PST
first at all .. my english is not really good second .. i think i am a hacker :) you are a bounch of stewpids if you think that a hacker means a criminal is not abous DoS and DDoS , is about knowledge . You may read first sumthing about Linux , Unix and all operating systems . Linux is not only a system used by hackers .. is also a system used by ISPs because is more stable than the Microsoft bullshit . Linus Torvald is not a russian .. he is from Norway .. as far as I know . He was not a hacker .. he was a programmer . For example .. a big company that has it servers running Linux means that it has legions of hackers? Damn stewpids :) Let your son learn .. not stop him . For the end .. sumthing that said someone who calls him a hacker : "Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike." The Outsider


 
Err.. (none / 0) (#2935)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:20:25 AM PST
Please tell me that thi is a JOKE. A JOKE article right? Becuase this is so insanely funny that it's not worth ranting about :P


 
Freedom: if you are under 18 you are not free? (none / 0) (#2938)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:32:34 AM PST
Oh sh*t, I'am a computer hacker... LOL!
Mooooom, daaaaaaaad, please pleale help meeee!
I DO listen to MP3, I DO spend my whole day with PC, I DO read Necromancer, I DO see LILO when i boot my system, I DO know linux, I DO use AMD, I DO change my ISP, I DO UPGRADE MY PC, I DO LIVE FREE...
You gyus are normal ?


 
bahahahaha (none / 0) (#2939)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:33:58 AM PST
All of you people reacting to this article, well, get a clue.. this has got to be a joke, and honestly, it's a fairly funny one at that.

And if it IS serious, then, dear god, you can't possibly do a better job of explaining what a moron the author is than he already did himself.




 
Dysfunctional situation, (none / 0) (#2940)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:37:44 AM PST
You and your family need help asap!
Your children are only going to turn on you or carry on the dysfunction that you perpetrate.
This is so sad to read.
Also, You have no clue on anything other than shoelaces, If that. Please stay away from any computer you see,

THEY can SEE you through the SCREEN.



 
Starting point for a new hacker. (none / 0) (#2942)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:42:25 AM PST
Thanks for a good advices "papa". I was atracted by the world of hacking for a while but I did not know from where to start and how to hide trace. now you gave me comprahensive guide into the world of hackers.

Thanks again.


 
ha ha ha! (none / 0) (#2944)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:48:52 AM PST
that was *so* funny! it certainly brightened up this otaku's night!


 
LOL, Pretty damn funny (none / 0) (#2945)
by Divx on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:51:02 AM PST
I'm -assuming- this is nothing more than a joke, if not then someone's pretty damn dumb. Someone posted the URL to this 'article' on another message board I visit often and I must say I had a good laugh.

Bonzi Buddy a hacker tool! Who would of ever thought my own wife is a hacker! ;>


 
moron (none / 0) (#2946)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:51:31 AM PST
wow, what an idiot.. nuff said...
i think weve all become a little bit dumber since reading that...


 
This is the quintessential hilarity of the month! (none / 0) (#2947)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:51:41 AM PST
Come on people...I've never come across anyone *this* pathetic. I mean according to this guy's definition of hacker, I'm the anti-christ and my friends are the four horsemen of the apocalypse! We had our mischievious beginnings of course. We now successfully run an SGI supercomputer system for a research lab that runs Irix (oooh, boogie boogie, an *x system!) Oh no, it also has a four 3D stereo displays the size of a walls! Oh wow, must be malicious! We all program in five different computer languages and blow each other to pieces in Quake III Arena! Are we not the threat of the world?!! Fear!

I think some of these ones posting need the bash to the head with the clue-by-four. Some things just aren't meant to be taken seriously. Personally this is the funniest thing I've read all month! Cheers to the dude with the brass to write it!
<J>
kernel panic: dazed and confused but trying to continue...story of my life!


 
A disgrace to the human race!! (none / 0) (#2949)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:52:52 AM PST
This article is a shame to the computer industry! I cannot believe what I read!! What lack of intelligence!! <br><br>

It sounds to me as if you're just afraid your sons gonna get a blazing career in the computer industry, making more money than yourself, being more intelligent than you, and more respected! ... which according to this article's content, won't be that hard! <br><br>

YOU are the one who needs help and guidance!! Your son is probably better off with the internet!







 
Stupid, more stupid, idiotic, T. Gibbons!! (none / 0) (#2951)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:57:45 AM PST
ha ha ha ha :-)

This article is a shame to the computer industry! I cannot believe what I read!! What lack of intelligence!! <br><br>

It sounds to me as if you're just afraid your sons gonna get a blazing career in the computer industry, making more money than yourself, being more intelligent than you, and more respected! ... which according to this article's content, won't be that hard! <br><br>

YOU are the one who needs help and guidance!! Your son is probably better off with the internet!

<br><br>
haha, this has got to be a joke... I can't believe it!





 
Too Funny (none / 0) (#2953)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:02:40 AM PST
This article was too funny... I almost busted a nut laughing! I bet that this article is going to be the next Joke FW: that will arrive in all your e-mail mailboxes. Bonzi Buddy as a hacking tool? HAHAHAHAHAHA!


 
the dumb people out there (none / 0) (#2955)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:02:59 AM PST
i have read alot of the responses and have came to the conclusion that you are all dumb asses and to stupid to relize that this is a joke


 
Re: Russian Hackers (none / 0) (#2956)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:08:30 AM PST
There can't really be Russian Hackers can there? It's not against the law to decompile software in Russia, or at least that's what Ivanapolu told me...

Funny article though, I thought it was serious until you mentioned AOL, then I knew you were taking the piss, Serious Internet Provider my arse!


 
Are you for real??? (none / 0) (#2963)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:32:57 AM PST
You seem to know about as much about "hacking" as the average chimpanzee knows about nuclear physics.

In the future, I suggest you actually do some research on the topics you post about in order to avoid embarassing yourself further.

Quake is a game, idiot.

Robert C. Hedley
MCP, CCNA


 
did anyone notice... (none / 0) (#2964)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:41:22 AM PST
" "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly "

PERL??

Didn't anyone notice that this site is powered by Scoop, the engine created by kuro5hin.org and that powers their site. This program was created using, *GASP!!*, PERL!! See section 2.1.1 under the requirements section of the scoop administrators guide; here.

GODDAMN!! I've never read funnier shit in my life. heh heh heh.

-- j0s)(


 
7 Words For J00 (none / 0) (#2965)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:41:42 AM PST
ALL YOUR BASES ARE BELONG TO US!!

amazing. simply amazing. here i thought i was an innocent civilian, and the whole time i was a hacker. who'd a thunk it. all those hours browsing the web for rumi quotes, and journaling and writing, and running an ezboard, only to discover i'm a ... /gasp, HACKER. or should i say... H4cK3R..

do make sure when you do a follow up article, to mention the dangers of l33t sp34k.

most sincerely-

x. everlost


 
oh no (none / 0) (#2967)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:46:02 AM PST
Dangerous stuff, that linux program...


 
it's a joke (none / 0) (#2970)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:55:22 AM PST
nobody is really stupid enough to write this garbage intentionally, unless he wants to make people laugh.


 
Really funny (none / 0) (#2971)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:02:41 AM PST
It's a really funny text.
Thanks for this.



 
how goddamn stupid are some of you? (none / 0) (#2972)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:08:06 AM PST
seriously how some of you have taken this to be a serious article is beyond me. his youngest daughter called cindy? his son called peter? 6 kids? can anyone say "brady bunch"? how about "satire"?
if you believed this was a real article youre even dumber than you thought the author was.


 
nuff said (none / 0) (#2973)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:09:41 AM PST
You regenald t gibbons are a moron


 
irony (none / 0) (#2974)
by ironyislostonamericans on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:13:54 AM PST
you really should gear this website for people that understand sarcasm and irony (ie not americans) .. the comic value of all the people posting calling the writer an idiot for what he has said.

It is a joke .. how much more obvious do you want ?.. the AMD comments alone should surely have made some of you think "hmm he has to be joking?".. should the writer come round your house and poke you with an irony stick ?

very funny website, keep up the good work :)


 
This Thread (none / 0) (#2976)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:24:07 AM PST
In Summary:
1. You, as a father, are ignorant.

2. AOL eats it.
2a. Compaqs eat it. raw.
2b. This is why your son wants an AMD and a video card.

3. Intel employ just as many 6-year-olds as AMD.

4. Bonzi Buddy isnt a hacker tool. Its a load of advertising garbage.

5. Linus Torvalds did not star in a Bond movie.

6. Linus Torvalds isn't a commie. Through monopolising, Microsoft has probably become as close as america will come to Soviet Russia.


 
Sad... (none / 0) (#2977)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:25:23 AM PST
I'm sure whoever wrote this sorely misinformed but hilarious little essay prides themself on having insider information pertaining to hackers and young people alike, but sadly he is soooo far from the truth. I didn't know that FLASH, one of the most constant graphics systems on the net, is a hacking program. Also, I doubt that hackers all subscribe to a certain dress code including "spiky hair" and "day-glo" clothing. and the pacifiers are for ravers. The writer of this article disgusted me, because although he has good reason for not wanting his son to hack, he also wants to censor works of literary art such as Neuromancer, which is a great book but includes no insider tips on hacking considering it is futuristically based. And the fact that millions of parents may read this and crack down on their children for such trivial things as downloading bonzi buddy or spiking their hair or god forbid, wearing "day-glo" clothing is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. This article was a lesson in close-mindedness and total ignorance that the older generation possesses. If anyone has the email address of the writer of this insanely idiotic article, please fwd it to me at synthetic802@aol.com, so I can inform him of how severely in the dark he remains. Peace.


 
This Thread (cont'd) (none / 0) (#2978)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:27:19 AM PST
... I fergot a few things.

PARENTS: to find out if your son IS a hacker, and how to effectively stop these practises, go <a href="http://www.goatse.cx"> here</a>. Hacking is illegal guys.



 
someone tell me (none / 0) (#2979)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:44:23 AM PST
Dear sir / madam,

I write from London, which is in the United Kingdom, which is in Europe. Just thought I'd better make sure you know because it seems you haven't been past the gates of your tongue-speaking snake-daring church lately. I'm really trying to find out if this article is actually a joke or not, because I refuse to believe that anyone can write this article in all seriousness. Can someone please tell me if all Americans think like this? Please tell me they don't! Please tell me there's hope!


 
What the hell was that shit !!!!!!!!!!!! (none / 0) (#2981)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:53:26 AM PST
i seriously pity this guy's son Peter who got grounded for Installing Comet cursor, Bonzi buddy, Flash and playing Quake qith his friends.. this person needs some urgent medical attention for excessive Dumbness combined with loads of Paranoia... and what was all this "AMD processors are inferior".. and "LUNIX"was made by Linyos Torovoltos... Was stolen from xenix by Microshit written for U.S government
And he has also written the very notorious program Telnet........

P.S
commit a suicide...
you are too dumb to live


 
Ned Flanders school of Script Kiddies? (none / 0) (#2982)
by Fender Q on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:55:41 AM PST
I don't think this is really any kind of practical document and has to be a joke. Unless the true author of this document is Ned Flanders.


 
This is great. (none / 0) (#2983)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:58:56 AM PST
Possibly the funniest thing I've read all year. With info like this propagating through the net, it should be even easier to tell the AOL users from people who actually know anything. :)

Props on the great spoof.


 
What an idiot ! (none / 0) (#2984)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:05:27 AM PST
Well the subject is self explanatory. Still ... what the hell is this? A microsoft/intel supporter who hates linux/amd? Parents if you read this search the internet on the topis AMD and go to linux.com to understand what it really is. Believe me and the whole internet community, this article is a crap.


 
hahaa (none / 0) (#2985)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:12:27 AM PST
ROFLMAO. This is the most hilarious article i've read in a long time. Whoever you are, thank you.
The fact that some people actually think this was a seriously written article is a testament to your keen sense of humor. I'm gonna go in my backyard and build you a shrine.

-skeebop


 
i hope this is fake! (none / 0) (#2986)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:12:41 AM PST
i hope this is a fake ...


 
ahAHAHahaHhaAH (none / 0) (#2987)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:14:49 AM PST
AhahAhahahaHhAha i dumb ass bagged his son for editing his desktop and downloading standard programmes. Watch out kids cause these new breed of father figures are coming fresh out of 'pesimistic production'.

He's probably gonna bag his daughter for staying out late cause she was being a Hooker (make up and sexy dresses).

Hackerz arent the problem - for all they do is hack into systems for information - hell they can be good at times. However script kiddies and crackerz are da problem. But to tell you the trueth its a very OVER DONE problem: all you can loose is information/money/time. - The information doesnt necessarily be stored on the internet. Real life problems should be tackled - hell every second someone dies of hunger.


 
wow (none / 0) (#2988)
by cincpac on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:17:31 AM PST
those posters that took this article seriously - i guess we don't have to fear anything from their "1337 ski11z" or whatever. I guess no one informed them that the arcane arts of computer science requires the ability to think. tee hee.

just to clarify, folks... satire.


 
You are an absolute bunch of cunts!!! (none / 0) (#2989)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:25:44 AM PST
FFS I feel sooooo sorry for your kids - are you lot inbred?

AMD - Is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. - ARE YOU A FUCKING RACIST AS WELL!!!!

take yer head out of yer arse and put yer kids up for adoption!!!!

THIS <B>IS</b> THE FUNNIEST THING ON THE WEB - I THANK YOU


 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (none / 0) (#2990)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:25:54 AM PST
/me rolls on floor and laughs my fucking ass off

the guy that wrote this article has less knowledge than a pen

all of this stuff is total bullshit

you must of been on some serious drugs (what kind of parent are you to take drugs, sheeesh)

and anyone that agrees with any of his comments are idiots too

p.s. if he did make any valid commments, my bad, but i dont think he did,


 
You are an absolute bunch of cunts!!! (none / 0) (#2993)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:35:33 AM PST
FFS I feel sooooo sorry for your kids - are you lot inbred?

AMD - Is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. - ARE YOU A FUCKING RACIST AS WELL!!!!

take yer head out of yer arse and put yer kids up for adoption!!!!

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING ON THE WEB - I THANK YOU


 
What an ill-informed load of crap (none / 0) (#2994)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:45:13 AM PST
Erm, hello?
What freakin' planet are you from?
Sure you've done your homework, but you don't get full marks for accuracy.
Linus Torvalds a Soviet hacker?
'Snow Crash', 'Cryptonomicon', and 'Neuromancer' are 'hacker manuals'? Your site is the funniest thing I've seen for ages!
Your concern for your children's well-being is admirable, but get educated yourself and learn to think critically before you become just another AOL user-droid.
And if you're son's wearing a pacifier, I'd be more concerned that he may be sucking back class 'A's on the weekends, frying his brain with chemicals than binging on code cutting.


 
I like linux.... (none / 0) (#2995)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:45:15 AM PST
You really are a twit....I use linux as a firewall, cause it keeps hackers out! Good luck with your son, and maybe you should read some hacking manuals yourself....they help you to understand how they operate, and therefore, how to stop them...

Troy.


 
You're all stupid... (none / 0) (#2996)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:47:11 AM PST
Geez....Looking at all the post on this subject and most of the comments contained within them, I gotta say, you are ALL absolute shitwits!.....COme on people, get a life...Anyone here who is experienced in the dry humour found on stileproject.com, will know that this article is a hoax, a piss-take on stupid parents (and southern baptists just for a laugh)....And you imbeciles take it seriously.... <I fart in your general directions>....You all need to grow the hell up, and find your sense of humour again....Boring bunch of twats....

In darkness we laugh at how stupid Americans really are (hell, look at the whole afghanistan issue)....

D'arke Selektah .::Third nipple of Wintermute::.


 
very funny (none / 0) (#2997)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:55:23 AM PST
This is the best joke I've ever read!
Congratulations!


 
HOAX, IMHO...Read to see what I'm talking about (none / 0) (#2998)
by Maetrix on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:01:35 AM PST
<i>There's this story, about a man named Brady...........</i>

Let's see, he has 6 children, one named Peter "the hacker", and Cindy, whom likes to tell stories.............

<i>There's this story, about a lovely lady...........</i>

And his wife's name is Carol.

The odds of this being a coincidence are huge and what can be concluded is either he changed the names to protect his family, he is a fan of the "Brady Bunch" or he is lying just to post this.


 
great parody! (none / 0) (#2999)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:02:34 AM PST
after a complete read of the text here, i can say two things.
- the authors ability to type this was probably impared by fits of laughter at the parody he's acomplished. i suspect it took hours to type between laughing.

-anyone who took this seriously needs to do the following: unplug monitor. move monitor to the edge of the table or desk. throw head forward at it.

great satire to the author, your writing has great value as a farce of the modern parent.

arch13


 
HOAX, IMHO...Read to see what I'm talking about (none / 0) (#3000)
by Maetrix on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:05:00 AM PST
There's this story, about a man named Brady........... Let's see, he has 6 children, one named Peter "the hacker", and Cindy, whom likes to tell stories............. There's this story, about a lovely lady........... And his wife's name is Carol. The odds of this being a coincidence are huge and what can be concluded is either he changed the names to protect his family, he is a fan of the "Brady Bunch" or he is lying just to post this.


 
how do i uninstall lunix when first installed (none / 0) (#3001)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:09:58 AM PST
im having a problem. my son have installed the illegal os 'lunix'. everytime i startup my pc i see the word lilo. how do i get rid of it?

lol

and how can anyone be that stupit?


 
You (none / 0) (#3004)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:26:56 AM PST
There is no intelligence where there is no change and no need of change.
Only those animals partake of intelligence that have to meet a huge variety of needs and dangers

Just about sums you up then mate


 
I'm so sorry. (none / 0) (#3007)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:36:39 AM PST
Mr. Gibbons,
I'm very sorry for your situation in your family. I have had a terrible experience with programs such as lunix and Bonzi Buddy. Many children have been faced with life threatening conditions due to this software! Beware Parents! Linux is the #1 server platform operating system! You heard me right! OPERATING SYSTEM!!!! When children get their hands on an operating system, they can change the whole system! Other programs one should be wary off:

ICQ- Hacker Communication Software
---
Telnet- Hacker Terminal Software (thats right! its terminal!)
---
MicroSoft Frontpage- Web page hacking software.
---
AOL IM- More hacker communication disguised as AOL software.
---
Yahoo!- Children use this for looking up hacking resources

All these things are hazards to your childs health. Hacking has been related to such diseases as glaucoma and dysentary and is also related to drugs such as LSD ("acid" in hackers terms),Exstacy (XTasy), and Marijuana. I can't stress the importance of ridding our society of hackers. Please have a talk with your children. A hacker free home is a happy home.

-Dr. Bago phd. Modern Psychology of Hacker People

Any questions, comments, or requests to have their scalps ripped off should be sent to drbago@thefragile.com


 
u f00l (none / 0) (#3009)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:40:54 AM PST
You my dear sir are a complete and utter FUCKTARD

I love my AMD (American Micro Devices) CPU, it is NOT a rip-off of the Intel Penitum 4 (a heap of crock), it cost me far less, and is worth a lot more in terms of speed and power

ffs

I HATE FUCKTARDS LIKE U, U GIVE "Legitimate" hackers a bad name

I am employed to test software for vunrabiliteis *gah spelling @ 1:25 am, and for bugs

ffs
you are a fucktard


btw, faster CPU (central processing unit), faster graphics card are very usefull for games

and sweatshops
JEESH
FUCKING CPUS ARE MADE USING A .18 FUCKING MICRON PROCESS FOR EACH PATH... FUCK OFF. SWEATSHOP... JEESH /kicks asshole in balls



 
OMG this is funny s**t... (none / 0) (#3011)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:43:05 AM PST
Well, i must say i trly did laugh my ass off readin this article. And I got even a better laugh when i read the comments. I really do wonder how any1 can take this so seriously. And I truly pity those who do.

Ppl, do get a life. Or at least watch 60's (or was is a bit later?) television shows :) To the autor(s): You know, scary thing is, this s**t could really happen in some family. Maybe not so drastic, but still. Good job! At least you got a lot of flames out of it :)



 
Fantastic! (none / 0) (#3012)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:48:03 AM PST
Blinding bit of comedy writing.
Jesus, you yanks are dumb.
Can't you spot a joke when you see one?
Absolutely spot on.

Irony! Something yanks do to get creases out of clothes.

airconoise@hotmail.com


 
sarcasm (none / 0) (#3013)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:51:22 AM PST
this is so obviously a joke (funny one too) so i don't see why so many people can't sense the sarcasm and are actually getting mad


 
You Yanks are sooo dumb! (none / 0) (#3014)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:55:51 AM PST
FFS, I can't believe you actually thing this is real! duh! I.t.i.s.a.j.o.k.e.!




 
oh my god (none / 0) (#3015)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:03:18 AM PST
talk about ignorance...


 
thx fpr the advice (none / 0) (#3017)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:07:51 AM PST
i fully agree. this is what i have experienced with my kids as well. as a righteous and concerned father, i felt it necessary to hand my sons to the authorities. both of em are in jail now. i know they will be thankful when they get out next year on parole.


woah... we have another f|_|cker on our hands.. (none / 0) (#6727)
by thechild on Sun Jan 20th, 2002 at 08:12:49 PM PST
what a dumbass.


 
ok.. you people need to calm down.. (none / 0) (#3019)
by Kraken on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:27:06 AM PST
this is so obviously a joke that I cant belive some of you are actually offended by it. The intentional misspelling and misunderstanding of common computer related terms is to draw attention to how stupid this suppsedly "informed adult" really is... it's all a joke..
no one can be this mislead, and if it is serious he'll probably kill himself the next time he hears that theres a program called "toast" and shoves some bread in the computer, starting a fire. People like this do NOT exist, they are urban legends and myths. These are the people who ask about broken drink holders on their computers (CD TRAY for the un-imaginative) they complain that the foot pedal is broken (MOUSE) they even ask what the O.N./O.F.F. switch does. NOBODY.. could be this stupid. laugh at it and move on.. dont get all worked up. There are people who do get a little paranoid when you mention hackers, they may misunderstand what can and CANNOT be used to hack. But I re-iterate, there is nobody THIS stupid. so LOL and ROFLYAO, but if you cant see this truth then I'll TTYL when I feel like I want to preach some more. And kids watch out for the POS , whey may take it a little too seriously...


 
its a fucking joke people fuck!! (none / 0) (#3020)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:30:36 AM PST
you wanna kno if its real or not?go look at the link for spanking.......its a fuken porn site for people into bein spanked and shit man you people need to relax stop explainin the wrong details and facts because IT WAS A JOKE and for the ones that responded and really were believin that shit.....oh my god,are you stoned?cause atleast then youd hav an excuse for thinkin it was real......and the people that think its real and AGREE WITH IT i hope you die of chronic computer radiation hahahahhahahahahhahahahahah fuk man just start goin thru the "article" and look at the links for everything maybe then youll relize its not real...........till then fuk dude go die away


 
Doesnt anyone think of? (none / 0) (#3021)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:33:00 AM PST
Doesnt anyone understand it's a joke? :P
I've read other articles here at adequacy and they are quite lolish.
This one article is an article filled with sarcasm.
Really quite funny too. :)

Believe me, noone is _that_ stupid. :)


 
*roflmao* (none / 0) (#3023)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:43:45 AM PST
A round of applause for you sir. You have well and truly restored my faith in humanity. I'm sure that your children will one day thank you for your vigilance... when you become famous for your astoundingly satirical excellence.

*kicks everyone who actually thinks this article is remotely serious*


 
it's called satire... (none / 0) (#3025)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:45:59 AM PST
Folks, this is obviously a joke. Lighten up, and go look up "parody" in the dictionary if you slept through high school English.


 
oh please! (none / 0) (#3027)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:55:08 AM PST
did you pull this article straight out of your ass???! c'mon, im thouroughly disgusted,its people like you that make me want to hang myself out of panic for being surounded by sheer stupidity on all sides. get a fucken clue!


 
Excellent work (none / 0) (#3028)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:57:58 AM PST
As is apparent from the vehement posts written above, this is one of the most convicing pieces of satire I have ever seen. Excellent job.


 
please....... (none / 0) (#3029)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:01:31 AM PST
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE say you are joking. If you AREN'T, that has to be one of the most naive or ignorant articles I've read.


 
This is, of course a joke (none / 0) (#3030)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:05:19 AM PST
This has to be a joke, and I myself got quite a laugh out of it. Good job. In the event that this is NOT a joke I am truly afraid. If there are people this ignorant running around it's going cause the world to end, spin off it's axis and tumble into the sun. These are the kind of people that touch a hot stove 64 times before they realize that it hurts. For the good of the world, If you were a real person I wouldn't feel bad about shooting you, because if you are truly this ignorant, you basically forfeit all rights to speak, use the internet, etc. etc. Dumb people will spell doom for us all. I hope to god this is not real.


 
YOU ASSHOLES!!! (none / 0) (#3031)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:05:24 AM PST
this is to funny to read, i cant beleave somebody would think somethink like this, YOUR ARE ALL DUMB


 
no comments... (none / 0) (#3032)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:08:48 AM PST
ROTFLMAOPIMP


 
stupid americans? stupid everyone! (none / 0) (#3033)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:11:36 AM PST
as if stupidity was confined by borders... ive read plenty of british and austrailian posters who believed this to be real.

just because 9/10 americans are brain dead doesnt mean that 9 tenths of humanity isnt.


bahaha (none / 0) (#6994)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Feb 3rd, 2002 at 02:23:11 AM PST
fuckin dumb americans.. fuck americans are such robots... they are FUCKING BRAINDEAD... they fill their car with gas, take their data to the prom, eat peanut butter with jelly... dumb people.. the whole stoopid race should be killed

Cryptose
cryptose@hotmail.com


 
OMG this is so funny and idiotic (none / 0) (#3035)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:24:01 AM PST
lmao
lol
rotfl


 
Hackers :) lol (none / 0) (#3036)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:27:06 AM PST
This is Treader from DAL.net
Man I must say you missed it on so many spots. I read this and just started laughing :D This must have been the funniest thing... I play Quake, I spend all day on the net, I have Hackers the book AND the movie. I visit happyhackers.org every now and then. I have programming books all around the place. I don't play quake. I play Half-Life. I don't wear that clothing. But by all other means you must think I am a hacker? Well then I guess I am a hacker. One that will be getting paid more than you for my knowledge of computer systems. Also linux is great. I use Mandrake linux. And I downloaded it because I wanted to get back into linux. But I uninstalled it after MOST of my "hacker" games didn't work on it ;)
IMHO ;)
-Treader


 
Nice one! (none / 0) (#3038)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:31:29 AM PST
Cant deside wich is funniest thogh. The article or the comments it gets..:o)
Never underestimate the stupidness of people..




 
Thank You. (none / 0) (#3039)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:31:40 AM PST
Thank You, T. Reginald Gibbons.

rarely do I find such humor on the internet. I feel bad for all the morons that think that you are actually serious. some of those links are more hilarious than that of the entire "article". Wonderful! You, my friend are a genius. I think you may just have the market cornered in sarcasm. please write more soon.


 
Take a Joke! (none / 0) (#3041)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:37:51 AM PST
At first I thought the article was hilarious... But what's even MORE humorous is the overwhelming response of the idea that this should actually be taken seriously! The author was taking a humorous shot at hacking...nothing more. If you thought this article had any merit, you need to get out and socialize some more.


 
quite possibly the most moronic thing on the net (none / 0) (#3042)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:39:42 AM PST
Quake is a video game, comet cursor doesn't hack shit. Just go ahead and off yourself. Your kids will thank me later.


 
do you people even read this site? this is satire! (none / 0) (#3043)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:43:56 AM PST
This site is a lot like the paper "The Onion" you morons shoudl try reading the site first before you slam this person for being "innaccurate". Um no shit - he is pardoying the media and how they define every person who is a "cracker".

Regardless, I have enjoyied reading post and post after stupid comments... this must be a bunch of the slashdot crowd coming over here, people who don't read the articles/site and yet manage to have a flame for everything.

get a clue.


 
this is out of hand (none / 0) (#3044)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:45:46 AM PST
i don't believe this article has been on this site for even a couple minutes, this is the most bull-sh*t i've heard in a while. i'd like to ring the kneck of the guy who posted this. seems like the father needs to be the one pickin up those books and reading them and getting his story straight. i just can't believe what i have just read.


 
this is out of hand (none / 0) (#3045)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:46:21 AM PST
i don't believe this article has been on this site for even a couple minutes, this is the most bull-sh*t i've heard in a while. i'd like to ring the kneck of the guy who posted this. seems like the father needs to be the one pickin up those books and reading them and getting his story straight. i just can't believe what i have just read.


 
What a laugh (none / 0) (#3046)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:48:29 AM PST
This is great. The Bardy Bunch confronts the computer era. Anyone else seeing the joke?


 
good job guys (none / 0) (#3047)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:57:12 AM PST
My hat comes off to you guys

i have not seen anything blow up like this since the whole 'all your base' crap

you guys will go down in net history for this, like in 10 years a bunch of it guys sitting around drinking beer will say do you remember that site with all that bullshit with the dumbfuck, fuck it was funny.

i can see my self doing that for a long time to come

hates off to you boys and a good job.


 
HOLY F**K!!!! (none / 0) (#3048)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:57:42 AM PST
Please tell me this guy's not for real, that it's only a really funny text written by someone bored by all the sad, ignorant people out there. In that case I must say i'm impressed by his work. In any other case I have only one thing to say to mister ignorant : WAKE UP YOU F***ING MORON!!! ;) Na, all this stuff is so goddamn stupid it just can't be real.


 
Holy shit man (none / 0) (#3049)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:01:37 AM PST
You have got to be the dumbest fuck I have ever met. Most the stuff in your article is totally false and is just bullshit. The life your kids are having is probably really shitty. When they end up killing themselves in the furture you can be sure it was your fault for not letting them live like teenages. You need to realize that you cannot control your kids and you also have to learn to get information before blabbering bullshit all over the net. Please never write anything again and save us all the trouble of having to find it and laugh at it.


 
2 Words...CRAP...CRAP ...CRAP (Ooops, ok 3) (none / 0) (#3050)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:03:11 AM PST
Oh my God....

Here is a breakdown...

1. sounds like an AOL advertisement to me
2. This guy must have done some really good research...Bonzi Buddy is hacker software? Oh my...I will take 3 so I can surf the net with company, more enjoyable than his dad. The boy probably needed flash installed to see the Harry Potter site (poor kid)
3. New hardware?...games are getting more complex...need I say more?
4. His father does have a point. We are all hackers, it is the malicious hackers, called crackers which are bad.
5. A DOS attack doesn't do that? He must be thinking of an operating system...plus, I would think he could do that type of attack in less than 45 minutes
6. Quake is a breading ground for Hackers...hmmm....I will have to watch out for that Game, it is pretty fun, I could get sucked in.
7. Teens
8. Ok...now the idiot is just pissing me off.
9. Boy...I feel stereotyped :)
10. Good conclusion (NOT)...although the links in this one did actually go somewhere :)



 
This is great! (none / 0) (#3051)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:05:29 AM PST
I loved this article! Surely it is meant as a joke and has just sucked in all of these people to post stupid remarks :)

I will make sure to watch out for my son using PEARL :)


 
And interesting article (none / 0) (#3052)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:20:15 AM PST
That's got to be a hoax. If it isn't, the person who wrote this is an ignorant FUCK, like most overzealous, fundamentalist, ignorant and uneducated christian family groups. Bonzi buddy is a crap adware program. Flash is used for writing animations and http content. AOL is an internet user's nightmare. If this is not a hoax, it serves as an example of just how ignorant and uneducated American family groups are, and how they are so paranoid about their children discovering the real world for themselves that they are effectively shutting them into the cozy little world they inhabit. Fuck'n wankers


emote.org/kabak

mail me if you think I'm wrong


 
Teehee! (none / 0) (#3053)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:22:05 AM PST
I am so amused right now. What a dork :D


 
The author is a k-r4d anti-hax0r ignorant. :( (none / 0) (#3054)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:38:17 AM PST
The author is a dumbass fag and he deserves to die. Plus I pity his kids, that must be so annoyed of having a double crossdressing slut as a "dad". What would this fuckhead do if his son/daughter was reading Marilyn Manson's book? Does that mean he/she will also have to listen to N'Sync? The teenager grows up, and changes. Just like he/she can be a rapper when he/she's 12 and become an old school punk when he/she's 17. Does this "guy" (anti-hax0r faggot?) allow anything? And if he "made a research" about hackers, wouldn't he know that it's "Linux" and not "Lunix"? Plus he is so far up his own (0wnag3?) ass that he considers him self as a "modern parent" and as a "model" for the other parents. But this isn't the best way to have a good relationship with your children. You will die divorced, single, and in a fight with your children because they wouldn't stand your dumb and gay ignorant attitude. Die on telnet you fucker.


*agrees* (none / 0) (#3061)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:04:52 AM PST
wtf, like, could this guy get any more retarded? LUNIX? hahah...and


" They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around theirnecks. "

you moron, omfg, that is RAVERS...hahaa

im not wasting any more time on this foolishnes...get a life so your kids dont suffer.


 
wtf? (none / 0) (#3055)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:45:20 AM PST
What is this world coming to when people are allowed to publicly distribute such blatant bullshit? I couldn't tell if that was a joke or if this person actually believes that pile of crap. :S

-Fox


 
Why havn't you give us the opportunity ... (none / 0) (#3062)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:12:37 AM PST
to choose more than one point of the "poll"?

I'm convinced that hackers use amphetamines, speed AND also are smelly violent sociopaths, yes, yes, yes!!!

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
ATOMRALF
more more more more more more more more more


 
Lunix Hax0r phool (none / 0) (#3064)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:22:16 AM PST
This is perhaps the most ludicrous thing I have ever read, and for my part, I hope it is just a joke.
I use Solaris.
I use Redhat 7. I am a fan of Ethereal and LANguard. I recognize friends by, as well as major corportations by their IP's and subnets. I'm a professional athlete.
And also a Mechanical engineer.
Granted when I put up my IMAP server with squirrelmail, I may have spent a little MORE time thanI should have, but you know, if my parents had told me I was a hacker and suppressed my computer savvy-ness when I was hacking AOL as a teen, I wouldn't have my job today, my friends, or nearly so much COOL fucking computer shit.


 
:) Hello (none / 0) (#3065)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:26:08 AM PST
I am fredgrim, a systems administrator from an organisation known only as the 'ILUMINATI' We have been monitoring your activities for some time and decided we should contact you about your findings. Ever since you started researching, your findings you popped up on out deamon programs which watch for people just like you. I have been asked to inform you to desist in your attempts to stop our operations. If you do not, drastic measures may be taken. We have already taken the liberty of contacting your son and he now has a position among our ranks. Your cooperation is not needed for this to be feasable. Please do not take us lightly, Sir. For we control more then you know.

Have a nice day :)


 
utter garbage. (none / 0) (#3068)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:34:40 AM PST
100% of your facts are wrong.


 
ahahahaha (none / 0) (#3069)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:43:11 AM PST
this was by far the funniest thing i've seen this year. good work fella.

not the original post, the replies that is. are you people really stupid enough to believe this?


 
Good one (none / 0) (#3070)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:48:40 AM PST
Congratulations, this article is by far the funniest and most sharply written SPOOF I have seem in years. As for all the angry twelve year olds out there, try reading the words more slowly, your rage was almost as laden with laughs as the piece its self.


 
OMG, people this is a JOKE! (none / 0) (#3071)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:50:58 AM PST
If any of you would actually read that crap, you would see that it was all a joke and meant to be funny.

This guy is fucking pulling your legs, and you all totally fell for it!

So stop calling him a "moron", and realize that it is YOU who are the morons!


 
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL (none / 0) (#3072)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:55:43 AM PST
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, this is the funiest thing I ever read. You are either very stupid, or a good joke inventor. This is great!!!


 
Why do i need to know this? (none / 0) (#3073)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:57:53 AM PST
Why do i need to know this? I'm not a dad yet ;->
Also, i reckon the guy was joking. Everything he said was incorrect and all of you so called hackers took him seriously. Shame on you!!

And while we're all here, its not true. Us Europeans dont just listen to techno all the time. Some (seriously deranged) Britons like Slip Knot and Blink 182. Can't figure out why, they are both shite.

Mark Riley - markriley41@hotmail.com


 
Good one (none / 0) (#3075)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:59:28 AM PST
Congratulations, this article is by far the funniest and most sharply written SPOOF I have seem in years. As for all the angry twelve year olds out there, try reading the words more slowly, your rage was almost as laden with laughs as the piece its self.


 
Hahaha...ass (none / 0) (#3077)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:05:10 AM PST
You sir are a fuckwit. You are prime evidence of evolution working in reverse. If I ever see you crossing the street, i will probably forget to brake. I'm surprised they let you have kids in the first place!


 
Are you serious? (none / 0) (#3079)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:15:01 AM PST
What kind of medication do you use..? Seems like
you're trying to have the role model of an american family but since you're a big fucking looser you just can't help yourself to the fact that your kid wants to learn something on his own... Fuck off!

Greetings from Sweden!


 
I am sorry (none / 0) (#3080)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:23:55 AM PST
I really, really, really feel sorry for any of your children.

Now I have more information on how NOT to raise my daughter.


 
HAHHAAHAHA (none / 0) (#3081)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:28:24 AM PST
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA

i assume that this was written by some evil genious with a delightful sense of humor. it really is amusing, and i actually laughed out loud for a long time.

3Y3 4M H4X0R!!!!!

hahahahahahhahhahahaha




 
Hehe (none / 0) (#3082)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:30:17 AM PST
This was a great article. The only stupid people here are the ones that took it seriously and decided to post all their rants and retarded remarks about how wrong it was.

Anyway, for those that are too simple minded to go and see what the website is about, here is their mission statement: http://www.adequacy.org/?op=special;page=mission

If you still think it's a serious article after that, well God help the future of this nation.


 
a better way to parent a hacker...... (none / 0) (#3083)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:41:31 AM PST
My son was programming in basic when he was 7.

By the time he was 12 he had conquered AOL, could program in several languages and could get free internet access through friends ISP's. He attended 2600 religously and nothing was more important than the computer.

My husband and I gave him all the tools and encouraged his learning of every operating system that existed. We encouraged him to learn every exploitation and search for new ones. We challenged him to write software to protect against hacker attacks and other security issues.

By the time our son was 14 was working for a consulting firm. We only let him work over breaks and over summer vacation.

Our son graduated highschool in May, and bought his first car with his own money he had earned.

He is now 18 and is paying for his own college education and working part time writing security packages for a consulting firm.

We did not forbid hacking or try to break his spirit. We choose to parent him by guiding him to make good decisions and helping him use his natural talent to reach his full potential.


 
Have a good laugh (none / 0) (#3084)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:46:08 AM PST
Thank you guys, you made my day. I've sent that paragraph about Linux and MS-written Xenix to all my friends, hope they'll laugh too.
You're holding the second place right behind G.Bush jr, with his answer to the question:
- What is Taliban?
- Musical group.

From Russia with love
Aleksey


 
HAHHAAHAHA (none / 0) (#3085)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:47:12 AM PST
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA

i assume that this was written by some evil genious with a delightful sense of humor. it really is amusing, and i actually laughed out loud for a long time.

3Y3 4M H4X0R!!!!!

hahahahahahhahhahahaha




 
Fagass (none / 0) (#3086)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:51:19 AM PST
man u know shit bout hackers, most of the things u said r wrong like programs they use and spellin and the way they look man, i know lots of persons who have spikes, with colors matching their bright shirts and tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors, wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts, but they dont even know how to type their names, so stop the bullshit ur sayin and leave ppl learn everything coz no hacker hacks just 4 the fun of it, every1 wanna learn so buzz off, have some sex, maybe smoke some pot and leave ur kidz watch porno movies, x-rated sites and dirty mothafuka music.


 
Its a joke! (none / 0) (#3087)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:07:46 AM PST
I haven't read through *all* the comments yet, but it appears as if the majority of them are posted by people who didn't realize that *this is a joke*!




 
the brady bunch (none / 0) (#3088)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:18:34 AM PST
:\ Cindy, Carol and peter, all charecters of the brady bunch. I think someone is telling a very amusing lie.


 
Rethink before u drink (none / 0) (#3090)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:27:55 AM PST
For one thing get your facts right buddy.
I don't understand the logic.
If you new anything you would see that there is more to learn then trying to find your asshole!


 
OMG ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING MORONS (none / 0) (#3092)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:28:25 AM PST
ROFL you actually believe that this article was serious?!? LMGDMFFAO you stupid dumb fucks!


 
God I hope this is a major joke (none / 0) (#3093)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:29:16 AM PST
1) Its gotta be a bs story. Please be a bs story

If its not then:

2) Its sad that a father has to blame his son for his failure as a parent. Try actually talking to your son instead of at him and you actually might be brought out of the dark ages.


 
y'all Idiots (none / 0) (#3095)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:35:39 AM PST
This guy is a genius, and y'all stupid asses don't recognize a joke when you see it.

Later


 
From MerlinprHDC (none / 0) (#3096)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:38:59 AM PST
No comments.ROFLMFAO...Wow, I've never seen an article so full of sh*t in my whole life. LOL...WTF is that all about. News for Grown-Ups...LOL...I'm a Groun-Up and I'm not that dumb, close-minded as the author of the article and the ppl who believes it.


 
Hacking, the real way (none / 0) (#3097)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:39:14 AM PST
OK, thats a load of crap. If anyone wants to know how to learn the real world of hacking, being an honorable white knight of the net. Peter, were always looking for new talent.

http://darkecavern.tripod.com

Leader of the SOTA,
-DarkeFire


 
WTF (none / 0) (#3099)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:11:05 AM PST
People, this was an superb ironic sketch of the "scne", I LOVED IT, especially those parts about GNU/linux and AMD, W* T* F* is wrong with you this was the most comical article I read since a long time, and if you jerks can't lough about it, I will do 2 as hard, thumbs up to the author!

secerely yours,
NASK (NoT aNoThEr ScRiPt KiDdY)

btw, if any of the readers hav comments on my English, NEWSFLASH not everyone speaks English, atleast I'm trying to type in a language that's not my native one.


 
some advice for you lady (none / 0) (#3100)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:11:21 AM PST
You have it all wrong, if your son has read so much about hacking I would think he'd be responsable enough to know that he shouldn't try anything risky until hes good enough to cover his tracks. Hacking can be a very good learning experience for any young person. Unless your sons a dumbass, no offense, he won't try anything illegal or stupid. As he should know anything outside of rattling doors on anybodies computer except ppl he has permission from should be left alone. And if he is serious about this any legal mark that he recieves, even at 16 or 18 on any kind of computer security violation he makes will greatly reduce his chances in the job market or chances of joining a respectable non-blackflag hacking group when hes older. Another thing, its linux, and hes not hacking at all if hes too stupid to install and run some copy of linux or openbsd/ some other unix based os. Another thing, I found your article to be very offensive to the hacking community. WTF was the deal with the clothes, this is real life, its not slc punk or ssx tricky, jesus fuck, get your priorities straight!


 
some advice for you lady (none / 0) (#3101)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:14:31 AM PST
You have it all wrong, if your son has read so much about hacking I would think he'd be responsable enough to know that he shouldn't try anything risky until hes good enough to cover his tracks. Hacking can be a very good learning experience for any young person. Unless your sons a dumbass, no offense, he won't try anything illegal or stupid. As he should know anything outside of rattling doors on anybodies computer except ppl he has permission from should be left alone. And if he is serious about this any legal mark that he recieves, even at 16 or 18 on any kind of computer security violation he makes will greatly reduce his chances in the job market or chances of joining a respectable non-blackflag hacking group when hes older. Another thing, its linux, and hes not hacking at all if hes too stupid to install and run some copy of linux or openbsd/ some other unix based os. Another thing, I found your article to be very offensive to the hacking community. WTF was the deal with the clothes, this is real life, its not slc punk or ssx tricky, jesus fuck, get your priorities straight!


 
Speechless (none / 0) (#3103)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:17:40 AM PST
.....

Please, someone tell me that all of this is some horrible joke....if it's not, someone please tell me how such ignorance of reality is allowed in our modern society. How on Earth can people even PRETEND to believe that 'mp3' and 'Flash' are hacker tools, or that 'Techno' music is a communist plot? ARE YOU ALL BEREFIT OF YOUR SENSES??? No wonder they dumbed down the American version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire....

A perplexed Englishman


 
how old are you ? (none / 0) (#3104)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:18:47 AM PST
im taking it that this article you typed was some sort of prank or something ,because if it wasnt, then you need help or you a kid and your parents should keep you of the inet.

--dc


 
Nice one (none / 0) (#3105)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:20:14 AM PST
I found this incredibly funny, and, I am ashamed to say, I believed it for a moment. This article is incredibly well writeen, for the most. You reflected on the stupid North American way of thinking very well. I commend you, but the one problem I find is the thing about girls. That is going too far. That was what finally made me realise it was a pss-take. And also, why all the lame replies? All these annoying people thinking they are "Xp3rt H4><0r D00dz!1~" Because they can type in caps. If they had any idea they would realise the irony. If they are trying to promote a better idea about hackers, they are going the wrong way about it.

//Wolf (silentwolf_54@hotmail.com)


 
the hacker article responses (none / 0) (#3106)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:26:01 AM PST
ummmm, do you guys know what humor is?


 
Thanks to all who took the time.. (none / 0) (#3107)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:29:15 AM PST
to read this and somehow come to the conclusion that this is serious :) (176 comments)

The article was moderately funny, but frankly the comments make it all worth while, you people are pearls, every one of you. The person who took time to tell us that linux isnt free, but GNU thank you. The person(s) who equated christianity to americanism, thank you.

Idiots make my day go by so much happier.

oh..and is overuse of hyperlinks the new fad?


 
Doh! (none / 0) (#3108)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:48:27 AM PST
Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.


 
get real (none / 0) (#3109)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:48:35 AM PST
I have never seen such bull S#"? what is your problem? have you been taking your medication? if not you should be I work in IT support it sounds more like you kid is trying to escape the insanity
that is in your house by playing some games which can help relieve some stress! saying that AMD proccessors and video cards are for hacking is like saying that your calculator is used for hacking! also LINUX and this would be the correct spelling is an alternative operating system that is quite stable and learning how to use the operating system now can help him find a very good job in the future. so why dont you get a life and some education before spouting you crap out!


 
Is this a joke? (none / 0) (#3110)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:53:15 AM PST
I *think* and profoundly hope that the original posting was an involved and subtle joke. I won't even attempt to refute the points one by one (after all, I have to get some work done today), but if you were serious, Mr. Gibbons, PLEASE don't comment (especially at length) about things you very obviously know nothing about.

One excellent point: any parent should remain involved in their child's life, offering guidance, support and protection whenever needed, and not just when the kid asks for it.


 
test (none / 0) (#3111)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:53:25 AM PST
hello


 
Is this a joke? (none / 0) (#3113)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:57:14 AM PST
If so, that's reallllly funny.

If not, the writer is an utter fool and should be locked up.

Not like this will help, because anyone who disagrees with his opinion is a hacker, and thusly is evil.

Open your eyes.




 
mindless 1950's dribble / hidden terrorist message (none / 0) (#3114)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:02:16 PM PST
I am looking for the hidden messages. I am not fooled by the blatant attemp to emulate the people who brought us reefer madness. There must be hidden messages to terrorist in here somewhere.
No one can be such a dip shit.


 
Some people need to frickin' chill (none / 0) (#3115)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:09:40 PM PST
Okay, for those of you with the sticks all the way up your butts, it's rather clear that the whole original post is a JOKE.

That would be a JOKE. A FUNNY. A JIBE. A JEST. In other words, it's satirical bullshit designed first to amuse people who have some sense in their heads, but has the neat side effect of drawing out humorless sanctimonious boneheads like you to make humorless sanctimonious posts - like the vast majority above - to amuse more sensible types.

Do you stick your fingers in rat traps, because you're hungry for some cheese??

Great job kids! You've jumped thru the hoops perfectly! And now, we're going to ring a bell, so make sure you salivate!! :D


 
This guy has NO clue (none / 0) (#3116)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:10:21 PM PST
I'm not a kid, I'm not a hacker.

I'm a network admin with a wife and 3 kids. Whoever posted this article needs to do more research before making decisions on what his child is doing on the computer. He has no idea whether the kid was hacking or not. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, in his article made me think of a kid hacking anything. Oh, yes, Linux can be used for it, but there's a million other uses for it, too. Windows can be used to hack things, too, especially other Windows machines.

To the site admin: If this was my site, I'd put a BIG disclaimer on this article.

--Mav


 
A refreshing breath of fresh air! (none / 0) (#3117)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:19:06 PM PST
First off, I need to get this comment off my chest:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Oh man, this is great stuff... Sounds like something Lowtax would cook up at SomethingAwful.com. Especially the "Lunix" part... very Jeff K.-esque.

Anyways, whoever wrote this, I wanna see more!


 
That's the way they all became the Berating Brunch (none / 0) (#3121)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:30:09 PM PST
This is the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls...

I almost hate to ruin father's fun, but did it occur to you that if he was bringing up three boys of his own, that would account for his six children? That his wife is Carol? That his son is Peter? That his daughter is Cindy?

Folks, if you get your panties in any more of a twist over this, you're gonna cut off circulation to your lower extremities. Let father handle his problem, with Carol and Martha's help.

And follow some of his links for extra-special amusement!


 
Hello? (none / 0) (#3125)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:02:32 PM PST
Okay, it sounds like someone's a bit confused. Have you done any research whatsoever? I doubt it. You made a blind post, and now you will hide behind your freedom of speech. God bless America, indeed.
I truly feel sorry for your son. He is "blessed" with an over-protective, idiotic parent such as yourself. AMD? Illegal? That's why it's PACKAGED WITH COMPUTERS? And why do you feel the need to link every other word to an irrelevant webpage?
I would really enjoy explaining all the nuances of how to tell if someone is a hacker to you, as long as you are willing to listen
~IcePotato85@hotmail.com


 
i hate people like you (none / 0) (#3127)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:16:28 PM PST
i cant beleve how stuped some people can be. i like quake but i dont like shooting people. its guys like you that make a bad name for teenagers


 
Sad (none / 0) (#3128)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:20:43 PM PST
As a real parent, I feel sorry for your kids.


 
I..i am a hacker (none / 0) (#3129)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:21:23 PM PST
If i play quake OOOooOOH i guess im a hacker I actually get frags woops theres one of my hacker words lemme guess soon your gonna say Doom is a hacking program?..oh PS Tis I B |337 BOI! ATTIC TIS MY NAME AND QUAKE IS MY GAME YA FUCKIN JACKOFF!


 
HAHAHAHA (none / 0) (#3130)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:21:33 PM PST
heh you sound like my dad, before you make judgements I suggest you read about what your talking about. In my mind this seems like a joke but who knows, my dad would be dumb enough to post something like this. (ehhh... I hope not)


 
HAHAHAHAHAHA! (none / 0) (#3131)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:26:48 PM PST
HAHAHA! You dumbfuck...

In your opinion, i am a hacker...

I play Quake daily, funnily enough, i play it to have fun, not to discuss hacker shit. I have Flash 5 to improve my website. I have Comet Cursor to get a new cursor. I want Linux cos it rules and i wanna host an IRCd. I need a new harddrive to hold all my games on. I need a new processor cos 550s suck major donkey ass. And i want a new graphics card to GET BETTER GAME QUALITY!!!!!

Final few words from me...

1 1Z 73H |337 H4X0R B0I!

......dumbfuck

P.S: Congrats on making me laugh for the first time in 2 weeks since my G/F dumped me.


 
Hacker Warning (none / 0) (#3134)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:30:07 PM PST
Someone must have omitted the "satire" heading on the article and the comments...

If not, I must state that I can't remember having read so much nonsense in my life. On which planet do you people live?


 
Hill-ARIOUS! (none / 0) (#3136)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:33:43 PM PST
This article was only bettered by the idiots who thought it was serious! Truely great! Hats of to the author!

Colin "Spacehost" Whiteside, Scotland.


 
have you ever gone to school? (none / 0) (#3140)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:51:16 PM PST
thank you for writing this, it made me laugh more than i have ever done in my entire life.
every word got better and better, funnier and funnier.
i would recommend you learn something about the topic before you write anything about the topic.
you have no clue what is going on in this world, have you ever even seen a computer, let alone know how to turn it on?
ill bet someone had to type this up for you.
i pray to God you dont actually think this and that you wrote it for comedic value


 
QUESTION! (none / 0) (#3141)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 01:51:58 PM PST
Dude..were you like um..DRUNK WHEN YOU WROTE THAT that service you posted taht article on is run buy DAL NET DAL NET is where a bunch of hackers hangout there IRC serevrs are full of them lemme guess IRC is a hackers PRogramming utilitie too i make irc scripts and programs that connect to irc servers tahts not worng just liek i make scripts in mIRC its just a thing for kids to chat on and Flash isnt a hacking tool DOS is an os sistem taht Microsoft baught before windows was made windows then came from DOS you dumbfuck DOS is what runs windows lemme gues "BILL GATES IS A HACKER" "XBOX IS A HACKING MACHINE" OH WIAT SON YOUC NAT HAVE A PS2 ITS A HACKERS TOOL" you sir are one stupid ass parent go read some books about todays kids.. TIS ME AGAIN ATTIC BOI!


 
YOU....ARE...A...IDIOT!!!!!!!!! (none / 0) (#3142)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:00:21 PM PST
First of all, Quake is a GAME, not a "hacking program" and AMD is the maker of fine chips that are FULLY supported by dell, alienware, and other manufactors. Another thing is that graphics cards are used for GAMING and things like photoshop NOT hacking. I cannot believe your ignorance in all these matters. Also, Linux is a well known operating system used by software programmers and server operators. Ill just sum this up by telling you to GO TO HELLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!


 
Oh boy... (none / 0) (#3145)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:13:38 PM PST
The last line explains the whole thing.

[quote]
It cannot be taken too seriously.
[/quote]

It's a joke. End of story.


 
w00t w00t (none / 0) (#3147)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:18:18 PM PST
I hate jesus and i hate america, and i can tell you that none of that shit makes you a hacker. Pointless religious lies and pro-american bull shit make you a worse person than computers ever will. KIDS: If your parents read and belives this, run away, now.

UP THE MOTHERFUCKING PUNX


 
Get a grip! (none / 0) (#3148)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:20:41 PM PST
I have been using a computer as far back as I can remember.

In reading this article, I just had to laugh. And laugh hard I did. I started to wonder if someone who can peg their child off as a "Hacker" from taking an interest in computing and in "Hacker Manuals" would even know what documentation of this nature would look like. If my child ever took an interest in Linux, I would think he/she (Yes I did say she as I happen to be female) had good taste.

I find it disgusting that you would punish your child who seemingly has an aptitude for computers (something you obvious lack) rather than encouraging this quality. Sounds like the kid has it figured out.

Ignorance is not a compensation for lack of decent parenting skills. So as my title says - get a grip.


 
Great satire (none / 0) (#3150)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:24:52 PM PST
You had me going for the first few paragraphs, and I knew this was a joke after the AMD section. It was pretty funny reading the responses of the idiots who didn't get it.


 
Hilarious Article (none / 0) (#3154)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:46:34 PM PST
HAHAHAHAHAHA That's just about the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. I seriously do hope whoever wrote that is joking. Btw, you forgot another tool used by l33t h4x0rs worldwide: Microsoft Solitaire. If you have caught your son or daughter using Microsoft solitaire then I suggest you immediatly call the authorities. They're in it DEEP!


 
Oh boy... (none / 0) (#3155)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 02:50:53 PM PST
The last line explains the whole thing.

<BLOCKQUOTE [It cannot be taken too seriously]></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's a joke. End of story.


 
Brilliant! (none / 0) (#3160)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:10:58 PM PST
The original articles and some of the comments are amazing, although the "Lunix" paragraph was a bit over-the-top. That so many people have fallen for it is a testiment to its brilliance.

Keep up the good work!


 
You Are a Fucking Asshole (none / 0) (#3161)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:14:31 PM PST
All that you have siad Mr. Gibbons is false. I am a former employee of the US government. Now I work for a company called Advanced Mirco Designs. We make the AMD computer chips. There not made in third world countries. They are made in the good old USA. Intel on the other hand uses labor from India and Russia. So maybe you should research them.

AOL, excuse AOL Time Warner, is the worst company in the world. AOL uses subliminal messages to spread propaganda. Mr. Gibbons please get in your car and go to the nearest mental hospital.

As for your son. You are the worst parent in the world. I have brought up three boys and three girls and I have not had any problems with them. Your son will soon disvow you and will try to distance himself away from you. Teenagers need to make mistakes its how they get experience. I hope you rot in hell! An your son dies as a crack addict.


 
Fake (none / 0) (#3164)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:19:40 PM PST
This is fake. The wife is CAROL, the youngest daughter is CINDY, and the kid is PETER. The guy has 6 kids.
Reminds you of the Brady Bunch, doesn't it?
-----------------------
http://www.tcwonline.org


 
*confused* (none / 0) (#3165)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:31:25 PM PST
I know you have been insulted by many people, but I would like to make a comment too.... god damnit, you are stupid!


 
funny stuff (none / 0) (#3166)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:34:25 PM PST
I was becoming more and more indignant about the ignorance in this article. Finally, I realized that this was so ridiculous that it *must* be joke. Oh, please let it be a joke. If it is, then it's pretty funny. If it's not, then it's pretty sad.


 
Wank! (none / 0) (#3168)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:35:09 PM PST
What a twat! Ill-informed and superstitious. Either this is a big joke, or this guy actually believes satanic messages are encoded in pop music through "backwards masking".


 
OPINION (none / 0) (#3169)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:40:54 PM PST
AHAHAHAHAHAH

your joking right?....

ahahahahahah....but this is funny

you assume all people who wear bright clothes and have glow-sticks are hackers...ahahahahahaha


Quake is an online GAME...not some kinda hack-chat

ahahaha...i cant get over the stupidity.....lol


 
You dont think this is real do you? (none / 0) (#3170)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:41:33 PM PST
my god people, wake up, its a joke, didnt any of you bother to check the links he provided? Well, I guess not, you should have, because they are pretty damn funny. I wasnt going to reply to this, but after seeing all these posts, I couldnt help it. How could you even think that this was remotely real? I cant help but laugh at all you people that wrote huge 2 page replies to this, trying to refute his information, what a waste of your time. I bet the author is laughing his ass off at you people, and I am laughing right along with him.


 
You all fell for it (none / 0) (#3172)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:51:06 PM PST
Cant you see its a joke?

you guys are the idiots for falling for it!!!


 
How long have you been in a coma? (none / 0) (#3173)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 03:53:33 PM PST
Man, are you gonna wake up from that trip? :P
It's people like you, that needs to be locked away. If you had a gun in your hand there's no end to what crazy things you could end up in, just because of your aging brain with no signs of life.


 
lol!! (none / 0) (#3174)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:06:57 PM PST
lol @ the guy who made this threat
if he was my dad i would kick him in the fucking balls.
2nd would be ashamed of how much of a dumb ass he is, lol.

im gonna hack the guy who made this threat wif my 1337 Skillz :)


 
Your child may be a hacker if... (none / 0) (#3175)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:13:13 PM PST
Your child may be a hacker if he or she enjoys hacking -- that's about all you can generalize about hackers. Sure, there are a lot of male hackers but there are plenty of female hackers, too. Many teenage hackers become successful software developers from their experience. A good friend of mine who was a hacker in high school is now a high-level manager at Compaq. My brother in-law was a hacker in high school until he realized that he could make a lot of money writing code for bank ATM machines. Now he makes 6 figures, drives an Audi A6 and manages 71 computer programmers. Personally, I shut down the computer lab in college by hacking in through a remote lab and realized how nonproductive it was for my classmates and went back to finishing my degree. Now I manage a test lab.


 
ROFL (none / 0) (#3176)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:17:38 PM PST
This entire article is a hot, steaming pile of dog crap on a midsummer morning. Hey buddy, next time you go around preaching crap like this, how about you actually get your facts straight.

Maybe I should use Bonzi Buddy and DOS your insignificant little mind to tell you how utterly useless this article was.

I'm no hacker, don't get me wrong here. However, I know enough about a computer to realize what trash is escaping your fingers, onto a keyboard, and converted into space-wasting propaganda like this.

Anyway, thanks for the laugh Mike Brady. Your sheer idiocy and ignorance has brightened my day as I literally fell out of my chair laughing.


 
My brain feels like it's on fire... (none / 0) (#3177)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:17:47 PM PST
Holy shit!

Two words: mindless idiot

Just reading the opening paragraph to that article made my brain hurt. There are so many painfully obvious errors (not just twisting of facts, but statements that are downright WRONG) that this could go on record as the worst piece of journalism ever. I don't feel the need to attempt to change anyones mind, since the kind of person who could write something so blatantly wrong and claim it as fact is hopelessly lost anyway. I'm dissappointed in the adults of America, and in the way they treat their offspring. It's no wonder that teenagers feel so alienated in our society. I weep for our future.

PS: For gods sake, at least you could have spelled Linus Torvalds RIGHT, you fucking moron. Talk about zero credibility.


 
is your father a wanker? (none / 0) (#3182)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:27:25 PM PST
This person has no idea about parenting and least of all about computers.
You have no idea what your talking about so go find a rock to crawl under until you do you F***ing idiot.


 
HAHAHAHA! (none / 0) (#3183)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:29:32 PM PST
You people are idiots.


 
yay! (none / 0) (#3190)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:46:57 PM PST
i have thoroughly been entertained for the evening...that's one of the most amusing things i've read in a long time...all the comments make it that much better...HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
:D


 
Sadly (none / 0) (#3192)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:59:22 PM PST
Sadly enough according to your totally wrong description of a " hacker " then im guilty as charged. First off, Flash is a program witch aids production in web sites, makes movies, and can not hurt anyone, or anyone properity by use. Also, AMD, Intels rival, are sold in millions of stores, Best Buy, Circuit City.... you name it, AMD is a cheap fast chip that tests faster than most of Intels. Next, Quake... It's a game. The graphics are choppy and you run around shooting fake looking men. A godly creation but i prefer Half-Life. Anyway it's a game, not a hacking orgination plotting to destroy the world as you think. Futhermore, the defintion of a hacker is, anyone who creates, modify's, and advise the creation of anytype of code. This means whomever made this website-is a hacker. I myself am i "hacker" i do HTML, Java, and a little C++ im working on. Hacker is a term miss-used by those whom have no idea what there talking about. You are not a ideal parent, your a misinformed wannabe, and that is final.


 
Wow...thats sad... (none / 0) (#3193)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:00:31 PM PST
You know...I really hope thats a joke.


 
Pathetic (none / 0) (#3195)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:04:48 PM PST
I have but one thing to say. You, sir, are an incompetent, ignorant individual who has absolutely no clue about the way things really are. I'd suggest actually "enligtening" and "modernizing" yourself before you claim that you are. This article is by far the stupides and most idiotic display of human incompetence. Not even a politician can top the misinformation and deceit that you have posted here. You are a complete idiot and I pity all your family for having to put up with you and your mindless ramblins and uneducated, twisted beliefs. One good thing derives from this tale of lies you have posted. You humor the educated world with your article. People are always glad to know theres someone else out there willing to display their stupidity and lack of intelligence. Without retards such as yourself, there would be no basis to compare the good from the bad. In the future, to avoid making such a complete idiot of yourself, I suggest doing some research into what you're going to post an article on.

"Incompetence - When you earnesly believe that you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do" - Despair Inc.


 
I feel sorry fr your kids (none / 0) (#3197)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:28:01 PM PST
They are either gay, and they will revolt against you once they get older.


 
My apologies to the writer.... (none / 0) (#3198)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:41:38 PM PST
...for the flood of abusive posts that have been appearing under this topic. Look, guys, it's a PARODY. It's supposed to be funny, not taken seriously! I mean, c'mon, would someone who isn't at least reasonably knowledgeable about computers know about Xenix? Nope, they wouldn't, and yet the author of this article does. Oh, and "lunix" is what JeffK, another misunderstood parody from Something Awful, calls Linux as well, suggesting that the author of this has been to SA before. I take my hat off to you, T. Reginald Gibbons! You rule!


 
Additions to your well-versed article (none / 0) (#3199)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:44:02 PM PST
I read your article and I must also add some extra tips on how to detect whether or not your offspring are illegal hackers. Here are some tips that I have to offer to parents who own a family computer.

1) Does your child keep asking for a new soundcard?
- Soundcards have not changed since 1990 with the development of the AD-LIB soundcard. New soundcards will allow hackers to implement a text-to-speech algorithm which can allow them to enter other computers simply by the sound that they produce. If your child asks for a "Creative Live" or a "Monster Sound" it means they want to send special "Hacker Decibel Algorythms" (or HDA's for short") to enter other computer systems. Always be suspicious, and discipline your child if they show any inkling of changing your soundcard, which should always be an AD-LIB card.

2) Does your child want a bigger monitor?
- Bigger monitors allows hackers to place more programs on the screen at once. Having a larger monitor gives them the advantage to override security systems. Don't buy a monitor bigger than a 12 inch diagonal television.

3) Does your child ask about high speed internet service?
- High speed internet service is extremely unregulated by the government, and as such, is crawling with hackers. Your safest bet is to use a 28.8 modem ISP service, as all hacker programs require gigantic bandwidth requirements. Having a 28.8 connection will allow you to download files at the best speed while preventing hackers from accessing and damaging your system.

4) Does your child ask you if they can take some programming courses at school instead of bible study?
- Programming courses were devised by the son of Lucifer himself. Once your child begins to learn a very nasty hacking program called "Visual Basic" he will begin racking up credit card numbers and get you in a lot of trouble. Always remember to discourage this, and instead tell them to learn from the bible.

5) Does your computer have ICQ?
- ICQ is a program used by hackers to collect as much personal information on your family in order to sell that information to big businesses in Japan, who will then charge YOU to keep it private. ICQ stands for "Internal Communication Questionning", and as it's name implies, it will log any keyboard touch. This will allow hackers to access your credit card numbers and such. If your child claims to use ICQ to talk to friends, then they are hacking and you must discipline your child.

6) Does your Beastiality pornography keep dissapearing from your hard drive?
- Chances are your son is hacking into the computer and erasing these files out of anger towards you. Do not listen to his arguments of "If mommy sees this she'll be really upset" or "Dad, don't you think you should tell mom about how you feel?". He is only raising a screen of lies and mirrors. The only way he found your inter-species pictures was by hacking the computer, and not by simply clicking on the 'recent documents' tab on the start menu.

7) Does your child want a Macintosh?
- All macintosh users are hackers. This only means he wants to be a hacker. Make sure you discipline him severely.

8) Does your child want to take up a job to pay for his own computer?
- This is a clever set-up for your child to become a hacker and fall in the hacker's web. Do not fall for this trap at all costs. Any ideology towards spending extra time and work towards pursuing a goal should be crushed. Make sure you discipline your child severely.

8) Does your child visit the "www.somethingawful.com/jeffk" website.
- If your child visits this site a lot, chances are he is speaking with the world's most powerful hacker, known as 'JEFFK'. If this be the case, then I am afraid there is nothing you can do. JEFFK has not only been known to cause the closure of thousands of websites, but he has been able to hack into federal computers and anti-hack hackers using the PHONERWALL SYSTEM. If your catch your child visiting this site, the best thing you can do is pay him inordinate sums of money not to say anything about you. If you try to discipline your child, federal guards will storm your house at that exact moment and arrest you for sodomizing deformed kittens. Your name will also be posted througout the town, and the only job you will be able to get will be the one your dad had, working for the circus, shoving as many kitchen appliances he can up his rectum.

Remember, hacking is a serious threat to BIG CITY USA!!!!




 
YOU ARE A MORON! (none / 0) (#3203)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:54:13 PM PST
Dude, what are you? Some freaky AC who got a computer and thinks it's some kind of devil!? First off, people can wear whatever the heck they like, I wear mostly dark clothing, you can't nail me with that. But now you're probably going to call me a drug dealer? I'm not, I'm 13, I hate drugs, I don't have any hackers in my school. I am the best at computers than anyone else in the Junoir High so I don't need to worry about that. I have Comet Cursor, but I'm not a hacker. Oh, and Quake DOES NOT teach you how to use REAL FIREARMS. Has it ever dawned on you that the game Quake has quite a few guns in it!? Oh, and glowsticks are cool! You are such a MORON!


 
you fucking idiot (none / 0) (#3205)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:01:43 PM PST
this is the most rediculous bible banging shit i have ever heard. what ever fucking oprah loving cunt wrote this is the worst parent. u need to spend some time looking into your own lives then wondering why your cock sucking kid is wearing a pasafyer around his neck.frankly this makes me sick and you can gaurentee all this time trying to psychaotically parent your children, is making them hate the sight of you martha stewart fucking face.


 
Too many dumb asses have replied... (none / 0) (#3207)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:20:14 PM PST
For all you self-proclaimed "geniuses" out there who have viewed this article as other than the joke it was intended to be and have responded with flames for the author. You are to stupid to own a computer, quick box it up and send it back to the conglomerate corporation from which you purchased it.
To all those who see this article as the joke it was meant to be, pat yourself on the back for having a sense of humor.
Props to the author, as this is the absolute funniest thing I have read in a long while.



 
Correction to the article (none / 0) (#3208)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:26:57 PM PST
The guy writing this must have been a total moron, that should be kept as far away from a computer as possible. In fact, they shoul take their computer, and send it back to the manufacturer, since they are obviously too retarded to use one.

-AMD - a computer chip producer just like Intel. the chip can even be ordered for Compaq and Dell computers.

-Doom - A computer game (first person shooter) just like Duke, Unreal Tournament, and many others, including games availeable for playstation.

-Linux - a opperating system that is based on open source code (the stuff that makes the program work). It will not harm your computer in any way, and is more reliable than windows. It can also be uninstalled without damaging your harddrive.

-flash - a programm that is used to display animations, similar to macromedia. This program is used by companies such as BMW on their website.

-mp3 - mp3 is a file format, just like a word document is in the .doc fomat, a music file can be saved in a .mp3 format.

-aol vs, @home - the main reason for switching a computer service provider is the speed. @home us a faster connection than aol, and is therfore preverable.

- no program can hack into a persons stereo.

There are a couple more errors, too lazy to corrct everything.


 
ignorance (none / 0) (#3209)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:39:15 PM PST
you are by far the most blissfully ignorant person on the planet. AMD is not some 3rd world country - and anyways working for AMERICAN companies in poorer ones generally have the best fucking pay of anyone around. all of your other 'facts' are just wrong. in short you are the gayest person in the world and your children should be ashamed of you. if you had any sense in what is best for them, you should just go to the nearest mental institution and check yourself in.


 
Yeah,sure your son is a hacker....ha ha ha (none / 0) (#3212)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:46:39 PM PST
All you`ve written is one of the funnies shit I have ever seen about hackers...
mmmm...you are fucking idiot if you write this article.
All you wrote is a B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T!!!
try to do it all over again!


 
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (none / 0) (#3213)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:52:10 PM PST
This is one of those things where I am sat at my desk wondering what the f?
Is this for real? is it a joke?
If it's real, you really need to stop posting such mis-informative crap, and ask your son to teach you more about computers.

If it's a joke, well done, very well done. :)


 
W00t (none / 0) (#3214)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:52:34 PM PST
you moron im gonna point out why your retarded in computers and all aspects of life
1.Flash=used to harmless animations you shit
2.linux=OS (if you know what that is dumbass) that is considered supperrior to windows for running servers and big stuff(its endorsed by tech TV a ligit TV channel)
3.Quake=(i luaghed my ass off after reading what you said about it) is a #1 online game not a satanic hacker hang out
4.day glo colors and baggy pants are considered by losers to be the great style and pacifiers are used by pot heads not hackers
5.if your son asked for a better video card its because yours is shit video cards makes games and graphics intense programs run better they have nothing to do with hacking
4.if your kids arguing with you its proably because your an irrating control freak
5.computer raidation? im not even gonna respond you retard
6.AMD is not a hacker tool its a cheap ass processer for poor peple
7.Your Gay
8.if your sons askin to change isp's its because hes figured out that AOL is shit they sell you adress to spammers and telemarketers the connection is shit the service is horrable and an AOL chat room is a better place to meet for hackers then quake could ever be
9.you and insane control freak you most likely making you sons life a living hell you need to get that sick outta your ass and the sand outta
your vagina


 
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (none / 0) (#3215)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:53:33 PM PST
This is one of those things where I am sat at my desk wondering what the f?
Is this for real? is it a joke?
If it's real, you really need to stop posting such mis-informative crap, and ask your son to teach you more about computers.

If it's a joke, well done, very well done. :)


 
Definition of stupidity (none / 0) (#3216)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 06:57:09 PM PST
stupidity (stoo-pidi-tee)
n. pl. stupidities

1. The quality or condition of being stupid.
2. A stupid act, remark, or idea.

'nough said...

-Mastar




 
funny stuff! (none / 0) (#3218)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:01:38 PM PST
nice work
too bad the majority of people are too immature to understand it



 
When good computers go bad. (none / 0) (#3219)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:12:31 PM PST
I'm actually more concerned about my computer than my son. It's been hanging out in some of "those" sites lately, without me knowing. I leave, and everything is fine, but when I come back....well, lets just say the pope would blush. So, my computer is a hacker....time to frag it.


 
OH JESUS (none / 0) (#3220)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:12:50 PM PST
OMG has anyone seen the evil lunix site, www.freebsd.org. Oh Lordy! btw from my experience, setting comet cursor to "evil satanic hack mode" seems to be better on most lunix systems, if not see your local quake server.


 
Total disregard for truth (none / 0) (#3221)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:16:17 PM PST
That was the most ridiculous peice of trash that I have ever read.
Did you know, good sir, that the great little Compaq that you bought Peter was one of the first companies to introduce an AMD based line?
Linux, not "Lunix", was an independtly developed OS, and is much more stable and well developed than Windows, Quake is a classic PC game that is not a haven for gun nuts and hackers.
3d cards have absolutly NOTHING to do with internet capabilities, I mean... sweet jesus do have any idea whatsoever about anything that you posted?
LINUX IS NOT AN ILLEGAL PROGRAM!!! GO DOWN TO A GOD DAMN FUTURE SHOP AND BUY IT!!
IDIOT!

Its people like you that are destroying the computer industry and are simply using the computer industry as a scapegoat for your child misbehaviour, belive it or not, but most serious computer users have better things to do.

IDIOT! stop wasting peoples time.



 
Um....Yes, this is a joke (none / 0) (#3222)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:26:56 PM PST
This is a joke, I find it extremly funny :)
I hope parents don't REALLY take this as real talk, Video cards are for games, Quake is not a meeting place for hackers, you go to IRC for that :) AMD makes great processors that own Intel, and I am a, well, a person-who-does-some-l33t-stuff, and I sure as heck don't use hacking books or weird clothes. I assume you meant DOS as in Microsoft DOS, not the hacking term "DoS", yes DOS has a few abilities that me it a hacking tool, but not enough to make it mainstream... linux is a great free OS that makes a great web server and stuff. I dunno why I'm writing all this cuz this page is a joke... Anyway, plz, add some more fun stuff like dis :)


 
Wow... (none / 0) (#3223)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:27:18 PM PST
LMAO I have to say this is one of the funniest articles I have read for a while. And no, you can't fool me, I know the whole article is a big joke.. No one is THAT fucking stupid... I hope..


 
Is My Son A Hacker? (none / 0) (#3225)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:28:09 PM PST
My son spends over 8 hours locked in his room per day. I don't know about changing appearance, but his hands are hairy and he squints a lot. I my son a hacker? Please help me!!!


 
Some russian (none / 0) (#3226)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:30:00 PM PST
Uhhaaahhaaahhaaa lol
Comrade T Reginald Gibbons :D, you are an idiot and lamer.



 
Hackers (none / 0) (#3227)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:36:00 PM PST
You are all redarded gay jewish niggers!


 
HAHHAHq (none / 0) (#3228)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:37:03 PM PST
i am the 1337 h@x0r i \/\/i11 steal uR cr3dit c4rd Nizzow, you bizzatch


 
Wow, Mr. Gibbons is a fucking Nazi (none / 0) (#3230)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:46:40 PM PST
Mr. Gibbons, by your description, there are trillions of abusive computer hackers who are going to upset your perfect little masoginistic nuclear family suburban lifestyle. So I will say this once. FUCKHEADS LIKE YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE THE FUCKING PARENT TO ANY MOTHERFUCKING CHILD. I hope you son actually is a hacker and DoSes your ass to hell


 
thanks man, i needed a laugh (none / 0) (#3234)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 07:58:27 PM PST
first of all, i suggest an eleventh warning sign:

11. Does your child son do anything without the church sticking its hand up his ass and doing it for him? If so, he's probably a pagan hacker, as most of them are. I suggest that you lob brimstone onto the computer and then tie him up to a stake and lash him inquisition-style with a cat-o-nine tails until he reaffirms his faith"

That was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read it weeks, it was so not worth doing my essay to read. I could go on about your utter stupidity, or hypocracy, or ignorance to life in general, but i'm sure the 180 some odd replys before this one do that thoroughly. If i have repeated anything already said, i apologize, i don't have time to read through the scores of posts explaining how you know nothing about computers and anything computer related.





 
Umm... (none / 0) (#3235)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:03:36 PM PST
I honestly doubt that the article was serious, people. No one could be -that- misinformed.


 
I R uber l33t (none / 0) (#3237)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:07:06 PM PST
if ur son is a l337 h4x0rz in CS0rz he r0x0rz j00 b0x0rz!!! dats a fact0rz dealz0rz wit itz0rz!!!!!
Da shizzle is on da nizzle!!!!!!!!

If ur son is playing the most uberl33t game in the world Counter-Strikez0rz he might be using the OGC h4x0rz or XQZ0rz what a h4x0rz dats very badz0rz



 
U MOR0NZ (none / 0) (#3239)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:08:31 PM PST
the only thing STUPID about this article is how many people dont realise that IT IS A JOKE its a damn funny one too. respect to whoever wrote it. dis-respect to all the SUCKERS who didnt get it. bwahaha

- emisdee


 
Fucking moron... (none / 0) (#3240)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:09:01 PM PST
This is the biggest crock of horse shit I have ever had the missfortune to step in. The author of this is obviously the dumbest piece of fucking shit this world have ever seen. He/She/It is so blind by ignorence and a sence of their own superiority this person is plind to the truth. The author is a dumb Fuck and deserves our pitty.


 
You have got to be kidding me... (none / 0) (#3241)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:14:56 PM PST
When this was first sent to me from a friend and I read it, I thought it was some kind of big joke. The fact that you actually believe this makes me lose faith in parents today. I thought my parents knew next to nothing about computers, but compared to you Mr. Gibbons, they're like flippin Einstein. If I offend you I apologize, but either you've been EXTREMELY misinformed or you just didn't bother to research what you were talking about. So if the first is the case, I truly feel sorry for you. And if it's the second, I think you're just a lazy piece of crap who wont bother to research something before posting something that you obviously know nothing (factual anyway) about. I mean, "Comet Cursor", a hacking program, that's just plain nonsense. I'm not sure if I really feel sorry for you or if I feel sorry for your son for putting him through that kind of crap. He probably knows your full of it but wont tell you because he fears retaliation. Anyway Mr. Gibbons, I hope you get straightened out, or else you'll be confused for the rest of your life.


 
at the time of posting there are 180 morons... (none / 0) (#3243)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:24:11 PM PST
Kudos to Bobo and to the other Anonymous reader who realized this was a beautifully written satire. Although it isn't perfect as it becomes almost too obvious the futher you go in. And all the rest of you who thought the article was serious are in need of some serious literary help. Lets hope this isn't representitive of the general population.

-Jityer


 
Thank You (none / 0) (#3246)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:30:18 PM PST
Thank you for this amusment. I haven't laughed so hard in a while. This is truly funny.


 
Hehehe yeah this is a joke...... (none / 0) (#3247)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:45:02 PM PST
....unless the link given in the "spanking" link is a web page sanctioned by christianity.....hmmmm....

Yeah i'd like to say this is a great JOKE article, and is good for some laughs. I really needed this just before some finals. Cheers.

Oh, and if this post isn't in jest, do (i mean do) enroll in some local college courses about computers, then maybe you might be able to realize they are for the common good.

p.s. A man can start in the middle and go so far right that he ends up on the left side :)


 
The day this father died (none / 0) (#3248)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:45:12 PM PST
If this be sooth, seeketh my son must I
For beatings will commence and bruises
And blood shall form and flow.
Oh sweet sweet butt lovin
Why were jews cooked in ovens?

-A rather large Black Asian man


 
I just had too comments on this (none / 0) (#3249)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:45:45 PM PST
I am absolutely in aww how stupid this guy is... I have so much I could say, and only some of it has been said already.... If there was an ounce of knowledge here I would be amazed...

I will quote here
"Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos"
Can you atleast do some research here...
You did not even spell his name right. How can you be expected to be taken even remotely serious... and that's not even from a technical standpoint.

One more comment here to just so you are aware ...
What you call AOL's security measures are easily circumvented if you are a hacker.

There is much here you don't know (like any of it), and throwing around names of software and companies do not mean you know anything. You obviously left alot out in your parenting cause you did not even teach them the basics, like learn it before you speak it.

I could go on and on here but it's really not worth my time...

I seriously hope you took your son off his silly punishment after reading any one of these comments posted here. In turn I would really suggest you punish yourself and stay away from the computer cause you need a clue, and you are positively dangerous to yourself.

Vance


 
UR A FREAK ! (none / 0) (#3251)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:47:41 PM PST
You are not a father, your a general, that wants to make you children what you want , and not what your childrens want...
Let them live their lives, dont live them lives...

sorry but has a father you control TOO MUCH !

sorry you sux has a father...


Jynx


 
WOW (none / 0) (#3253)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:50:45 PM PST
What can i say??? Music, AMD processor, Quake are all potential things that convert people to hacking........ What the fuck is that?? Can someone please tell me??

It's like people who said that linkin park was the music that influence these guys that killed teens in columbia high school. Why the fuck they said that??? any proof of this??

And wow, how a video card and a processor can expose people to hacking?? I've upgraded my computer myself and i'm not even a hacker.

I'm serving on mirc on underground channel and i'm not even a hacker. Why the fuck are you saying that guys??? i can't believe that people are you inconscious of what they are saying.


Question to the writers: What is your definition of hacking??? I don't want any shit that was written there, i want a short and real answer.

I have a intel processor and i can hack people at all. Hacking is not a specific thing, not even music, AMD processor, new hardware and computer games that makes people hacking someone else. It can be everyone even your best friend you never thought of or your dad or your neighboor. I can't imagine how you guys define hacking by such shit like that. TO ALL ANONYMOUS WRITERS, THIS IS A REPRESENTATION OF ARE SOCIETY, THIS IS PEOPLE WHO DEFINE WHAT IS GOOD OR NOT AND WHAT IS HACKING CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?????


 
vERY tRUE (none / 0) (#3255)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 08:55:24 PM PST
wHAT THIS MAN HAS SAID IS VERY TRUE. mY SONE TO WAS A COMPUTER HACKER! aND I SAID WAS! i BEAT HIM AFTER HE ASKED FOR THE AMD CHIP!


 
Please please tell me its a joke. (none / 0) (#3257)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:00:56 PM PST
If any parent could ever be this ignorant to reality, I am shocked. Please tell me this was a joke.


 
Its a joke you losers, learn to live some faggots (none / 0) (#3260)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:24:40 PM PST
It was a god damn joke!! You didnt find it funny!? no, youre too serious, shut the fuck up and laugh a bit... take a joke... if I said you were a gay homosexual faggot (yes, those ALL are the same thing)I woudl be joking because I dont know you and I couldt make the judgement based on that... although I guess I could considering you didnt understandt eh joke... read more thigns on there... you really this this stuff is true? Your losers... get a life... seriously...


 
Incredible Dumbass (none / 0) (#3261)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:24:53 PM PST
I feel extremely sorry for your son. If I was him I would move out and never talk to you again, for you are a fool. You wrote one of the largest pieces of complete shit I have ever seen. Absolutely nothing you said was valid information. I really love your comments about AMD and Linux, or "Lunix", as you called it. Next time you decide to write something, you might want to research the REAL information about it, rather than just make it up.

You should be shot... twice...
o|_Cobra




 
right.... (none / 0) (#3262)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:25:30 PM PST
wow! I hope you are joking man....

if you are not...grow up! maybe you should be spanked by your children since you obviously don't know the real world at all.

it was a bad joke an you should be ashamed of yourself


 
Dear god.... (none / 0) (#3264)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:39:17 PM PST
So...Quake? hmm, that game is old as hell man, everyone know Quake 3 is were hackers really meet!! ;) Hehehe, anyway, I hope this parent reads these replies, because....He is an idiot.

Here is a letter to you dear sir:
Dear Sir,
You are an idiot, You should take your compaq, and shake it up real good to knock out the weed your son has stashed next to the modem, under the "old-slower" video card, when taking out the weed your son has stashed, proceed to ground him...then while he's off the computer, go to "message-board" they can really turn you from comp dummy to Comp Dummy that knows stuff. Seriously old man, You disipline your children to an extent that is...gay as hell. Gay...as in stupid...Anywho...Go stick a pinapple up your ass and call me sometime.


 
You sir are a DUMB AZZ (none / 0) (#3266)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 09:47:18 PM PST
I swear to god you have got to be the dumbest parent in the whole F***in world. I am a son my self and I spend hours and hours a day on the computer and I'm not a hacker. I've played millions of First person shooters such as Quake and Red Faction and many others plus I've watched the goriest movies including guns and have no desire to shoot any one or to hack (I guess for some reason you think the two are connected in a way). AMD is a processor that most computers have even some compaqs come with them and are good if someone is building their own computer. Video cards can only help a gamer with better graphics i have no idea how you would think it had anything to do with hacking. Like some one else said, your son probably wanted to change to a different ISP cause AOL is pretty slow and most people can hack while using aol. The clothes you were talking about, thats just a fashion, just because i wear baggy clothes and listen to rap doesn't mean I'm a part of a gang. And the reason your son is ettin bad grades is because he's a dumbass just like you. If you're gonna write an Article on Hackers do some reasearch and write it right! you fuckin retard. and being overprotected like the way you are is the reason so many kids go crazy and kill people, if my dad went to someones party to see if there was any beer I'd kill myyself before having to face those kids in school ever again.and a 17 year old wearing make up and perfume and sneaking out to a date is the least of your worries she probably could be smokin and fuckin people like a crazy slut and you probably wouldn't know nothin about it


-FAL A.K.A. DeViLiNcHaInS


 
ROFLMAO (none / 0) (#3271)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:18:50 PM PST
Oh my God, this is the funniest thing I've ever read! LMAO!!!


 
you have to be the biggest fucking idiot I have... (none / 0) (#3272)
by Hack3r on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:20:23 PM PST
Ok now this is not good it gives hackers a bad name. People like you give hackers a bad name.
Most of the software that you mentioned isn't used for hacking. You can hack just using the software that comes with windows (chew on that one for a while). Next AMD is an american company. They make a better, more affordible product (Readlly avalible at you local computer shop). Pentium doesn't have anti hacking settings. Quake is a popular game that is bought in CD for at any store that sells computer games.
Hackers aren't anti-social, we like to get together and share what we know with others. Ever heard of DEFCON, and my talk on the net alot. and in person. Girls are just as good hackers as guys (I know many that are better. That "sceen whore" thing is just sexest. There our many other things I could go into here because there is a newbie on a BBS that many hackers use that needs help with his or her O/S and I know the answer to his problem.

Frost

P.S.
Oh yeah hackers are not evil. There evil people in any group. those hackers a called "black hat hackers". Most hackers are white or grey hat (The good guys). Hackers are the back bone of computer science, we made the net what it is to say. I am not a black hat hacker, I am a grey hat. Do you want to know what i do. I help mantain the network at my school and hunt done the Black hat hackers that break in. I do this on my on time while taking an exelerated course that will give me grade 11, 12 and the first year of college in two years. I am an honor role student I have a girl friend who i have been going out with for a year and 7 months. Does this sound anti social to you, most other hackers I know have similer stories. Most hackers are above the average intellegence level.


 
comet cursor (none / 0) (#3274)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:23:35 PM PST
everyone of you "rookie" hackers is mistaken
i used comet cursor to hack into my internet explorer 5.0 settings and change my mouse cursor from an arrow to.....a little cartoon character, just for example.



 
Hacking (none / 0) (#3275)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:28:06 PM PST
I'm gonna write this slow since you probalbly can't read fast. If you don't get this comment write me back and i'll write it again.

Hacking has started back in 1000bc. People were "hacking" each other heads off. Now we do it on the computer. But saying that over 75% of the internet users are hackers is just obserde. Just because you are too dumb to use a computer doesn't give you the right to call everybody else a hacker.
Hahahahhaha...... this site is just too funny.....My advice for the parent is: Go back to kindergarten because with your current IQ you will not get far. So stop cleaning toilets for living and go back to grade 1.
Ps: Yes, when you jerk off onto the keyboard the keys will be sticky!


 
hahaha (none / 0) (#3276)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:28:10 PM PST
wow your son is a hardcore!! he can even hack radios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ahahahahahahahahahahah


 
This is gotta be a joke!!! (none / 0) (#3277)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:29:19 PM PST
People... if you're really serious then I suggest you stop going to church (which involves listening to your pastor chant "666=Computer") & take some "educated" college courses on computers; or the easy way out: pack up your shotgun, go to the field, and put yourself out of your pathetic human misery!


 
I hate you. (none / 0) (#3278)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:33:05 PM PST
Yes, I hate you. I hate anyone like you. Anyone so cynical and perfectly stupid. You group people like this and expect people to take your moronic article seriously? Well seriously... f*ck you. You're a jackass and a failure of a person/parent.

Guess what?!? I've used an AMD processor! And guess what else?!? I'm not a hacker! They're used because they're fast, cheap, and well made. Third World Countries, Sweat Shops, PLEASE! You're a fool with no basis for an arguement. There are holes throughout this piece of steaming dog shit you call writing.

Change their outfits? Come ON! It has NOTHING to do with it. I'm so steamed right now, people like you dont deserve computers. I only hope that your son learns from this, or reads this article and notices you're a prick of a father. That he shouldn't listen to a word you say because it'll only deter him from being a good person.

In closing, get off the internet before someone fries your processor.

- Shifty


 
Funny! (none / 0) (#3279)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:34:45 PM PST
Wah! This is the most hilarious thing I've ever read! I clicked all the text links--the "Trigger Locks -- Rapist Approved!" one was priceless! This is definitely a joke (no one could possibly be this dumb) and a well-done one too. You've fooled a lot of people. ^_^ Great work!



 
My God (none / 0) (#3280)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:41:36 PM PST
Dear parent fellow who wrote this utter ignorant crap,

I am 18, I have played video games my entire life, used computers my entire life nearly, and am certainly not a geek. If you are such a model parent and rolemodel, perhaps you should actually research more than radical leftist PACs or the Oprah show for your information.

Personally, I had to stop reading after you called Quake a breeding ground for hackers. My God man, why not say all black people love fried chicken and all white people drive mercedes and smoke cigars? (excuse my racial stereotypes). I have never heard such biased, stereotypical, and unresearched garbage really. Millions of people play Quake, are you trying to say that all of them are hackers? And considering the fact that, at least in the parts I read of your rambling essay in idiocy, you never offered any proof that your son was a "hacker".

Get a life man, let your children live. Don't be such a crazy, overprotective psychopath that your children grow up to be introverts oddballs and bomb the next government building a la Timothy McVeigh. It saddens me to think that people as ignorant as you exist.


 
Too bad GOD was not in the equation!!! (none / 0) (#3281)
by jesusjesus on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:42:47 PM PST
If only these poor parents has used the POWER of the ALMIGHTY JESUS CHRIST to thwart the EVIL of SATAN contained in these DEMONIC BRAIN-WASHING COMPUTER GAMES.

Yes, as strange and bizarre as it might sound, some games, movies, and music are BLESSED by the demons of hell. I have kept silent for way to long, watching children being lured in by the false promises of SATAN!!!

Now, mind you, I don't know what Lunix or Quake is, but I can only imagine that - if it rivals some of the horrible things that I have seen on American OnLine - these things MUST be stopped.

Thank you for this WONDERFUL article. I now know some of what is out there, and if I come accross an AMD or a Lunix I will know to stay away!!!!! Thank the Lord Jesus Christ that I have found this site on the American OnLine internet.


Jesus Christ is our only hope!!!

 
eres un vil amarillista (none / 0) (#3282)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:56:39 PM PST
erez todo un amarillizta,zolo rezalta loz puntoz de vizta ke parezen maloz, y ke en realidad no lo zon
ademas de una falta total de conocimientos como en "lunix" y ke no se necesita ser un uber hacker para saber ke es linux, ademas, menciona los hackerz como delinkuentes o algo asi, siendo ke es uuna noble profesion, ademas la mayoria de esos estudios de hacking en textillos sirven mucho si kieres ser admin o algo asi


 
ROFL (none / 0) (#3283)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:57:17 PM PST
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING I EVER SAW..... I LIKE TOTALLY BOUGHT IT FOR A WHILE TILL I STARTED CLICKING ON THE LINKZ>..... ROFLMAO......... CLEARLEH A 31337 Article.
Bravo


 
you are gay (none / 0) (#3285)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:59:25 PM PST
you sir/madam are very gay. You're the kinda of parent that makes sure that their children will never have any fun at high school. You tell your children not to have sex and there you are fucking your spouse. fuck u


 
you n00b mother fucking faggot of a parent!!! (none / 0) (#3286)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 10:59:50 PM PST
YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT......this has to be a joke...oh my g0d, if i wer ur sone, i would kick you in the face and piss on you...u sorry excuse for a parent.....let that mudda fuka hack it up! Ide be proud.....LOL...this is so fake..a pacifier around the neck, my ass u gh3y n00b faggot!


 
moehahahahaha (none / 0) (#3287)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:01:14 PM PST
omFG, all those who believe this are fagets and extreme hardcore wankers :) omg, this is too much, i'm gonna die laughing ROFL


 
This article (none / 0) (#3288)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:05:37 PM PST
intersting article. but one question: since you, the author of this article, know all this tuff, doesn't that make you a hacker?

only one solution: kill yourself

think about it. you'll be making the world a better place.

And leave the rest of the open-minded world alone.


 
Come on guys... (none / 0) (#3289)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:06:55 PM PST
You can't be that stupid can you? This is a joke...


 
YOU FUCKING MORON (none / 0) (#3290)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:07:06 PM PST
First of all i am far more intelligent than you will ever be, and according to your rules i am in fact a hacker. But i haven't hacked into a thing in my life, nor am i pimply faced or geeky, you fucking asshole. Your complete overwhealming IGNORANCE leaves me at a loss for words. Also, all of the arguments you stated have been completely annialated by previous posts so i will say this.

IF THIS IS A JOKE: Then no one is laughing. If you put this out as a joke you truly do deserve to be hacked. Dont ever do this again, because you got alot of people extremely angry that someone could actually be allowed to put such utter bullshit out on the net without being strangled to death (if you haven't already been)

IF THIS IS NOT A JOKE: all the above applies plus the additional fact that the ONLY thing that could drive me to school up a school would be a crap father like you. If i had you for a father, i would not be the least bit suprised if i beat the living hell out of you one day when you told me i could only get in the net for 30 fucking minutes. And that aol was good enuf. And that i was hacking because i was making a flash animation. And that i couldn't play online games. Thats about the time i punch your lights out sir, for you are the biggest idiot i have seen in my ENTIRE GOD DAMN LIFE.




 
OMG! (none / 0) (#3291)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:10:52 PM PST
GOOD LORD HELP US ALL!
You who believe this bunk should lay OFF of the drugs, have a cup of coffee and chill a bit. Spreading these kinds of lies, as well as the REALLY poor grammar, misspelled words and a complete lack of accurate information, will send you all to hell. Ya know, you can find evil under ANY rock if you LOOK hard enough. Try looking in the correct places. If you think computers are SO evil, don't buy one.


 
..... the morons in this case is the ones replying (none / 0) (#3292)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:14:32 PM PST
I mean, come on, do you actually believe this guy is for real? I mean, ever line in that post is made to make people like you and me upset... its just "too" good to be real, so please, stop replying with "Oh my god, you know what?!" and then type 300 lines of text.... its just another teenager wanting to have a good laugh at how many people that actually think this is for real....


 
Unfortunate that you are so seriously uninformed. (none / 0) (#3293)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:18:13 PM PST
Where, sir, to begin with what you have posted here, I cannot say. I seriously doubt that it can even be explained to you.

Your concern for your children is noted. It is admirable.

However...
Your facts are so horribly twisted and contorted. So badly twisted that it is difficult to distinguish fact from fiction.

If you are a parent, and reading this, then find another source if information for parenting information and get the facts.

The only way you can truly know is to do exactly what you suggest. Using Linux is NOT illegal. (Microsoft would love for you to believe that. Feed the beast.)
Comet curser/bonzai buddy/Flash are automatic downloads from many sites that get a lot of hits (um, game sites, etc)
I'm not the most computer literate person in the world, and even I know this.

The fact that you would get your 15 minutes of fame trashing so many things that you know nothing about only makes Adequacy.org APPEAR to be a trashy rag, at best.

Adequacy.org folks, you should be ashamed of yourselves. I know my words are wasted on you, and anyone who can think for themselves know it.

Mark B.
Phoenix AZ.


 
what the 'ell? (none / 0) (#3294)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:21:34 PM PST
A friend sent me a link to this discussion, and at first I thought it was a joke. And I got a good laugh out of it at first. Then I realized this fool was serious, and then I was realy lmao. The ignorance of some people makes me sick.

I'm not going to tell you what video games to let your son play, but that is what Quake is. Most people who use the internet will do so for well over 30 minutes. As for the social and dress changes, I believe doctors call that PUEBERTY. Wake up you stupid fuck! If the world was ran by people like you, children would be executed for becoming potty trained.

Formeo


 
you are all the brunt of a joke (none / 0) (#3301)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:45:02 PM PST
Anyone who truly believes that this article was sincere and, not a complete sarcastic piece of satire, is an idiot. Quite hilarious.

Also, the brady bunch and Linus Torvalds as a russian hacker from goldeneye references... muah. superbe.

--for fuck's sake, think for yourself--


 
What a stupid moron. Talk about a paranoid parent (none / 0) (#3303)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 11:51:05 PM PST
This is the most pathetic thing I have ever read! This dude doesn't even know shit about hacking. The programs that he mentioned are nothing more than lame shit that sites try to install on to your computer, and the books are mostly books on programming. If you want to get real hacker's reading material, look for 2600. There is a newsgroup called alt.2600. The reason for the name is because 2600 Hz was the frequency that hackers used to get free long distance calls on pay phones.

What I really got a kick out of is that thing about breaking into stereos, and stealing songs. Umm... Did your son, by any chance, put Napster, AudioGnome, WinMX, Scour, Imesh, Song Spy, CuteMX, Gnutella, Kazza or Morpheus(And many other simular P2P filesharing programs) on your computer?
If you want to know a little about P2P filesharing, Check out my site at http://bwap.virtualave.net .

I really think this father who posted this artical is paranoid, and may be depriving his son of something that he may be good at. He may be wanting to develope software or webpages, and you, the parent, may be confusing that with hacking.

BTW, I have taken Linux off a hard disk, and I did not have to take it a shop, or destroy any of the hard disk. You, the author, just don't know shit about computers, and are a l4m0r.


 
*Shakes his head in disgust* (none / 0) (#3305)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:09:49 AM PST
   Okay people you can all stop having your aneurisms. If you can't figure out that this is a joke, do the following:

     1- Step Away from your computer
    2- Obtain large blunt object
    3- Proceed to pummel your Monitor and CPU to pieces
    4- Quietly and Discreetly remove yourself from the human gene pool with a large caliber weapon.

   If you don't realize that this took more research to create than to actually come up with *real* hacker/script-kiddie/general-social-degenerate material (not real hackers as the word hacker has been so mutilated by the media that it really isn't funny anymore) you really need to step away from your computer.

   But it has been rather entertaining to read all the ignorance spewed out by some of you windbags.

Legolas: Loved it, class A material in perfect harmony with the Author.

iconoclast and the rest of you Follow above instruction and inform family members to cremate yourselves and insert ashes into cement to prevent further contamination/damage of the world's Intelligence.

**Shakes head in disgust**


 
Utter Stupidity. (none / 0) (#3308)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:13:26 AM PST
The author of this article obviously knows absolutely nothing about computers, or the real world for that matter.

The thing that got me the most was about the AMD chips, and sweatshops. Anyone who kows anything about processor chips knows that they must be create in a "clean room" which is free of static electricity, dust and all that fun stuff. Now when was the last time you saw a "clean room" in a third world country with child labour being used to create these chips ? First of all anyone who works at creating these chips is well educated and knows a lot about circuits, etc. and they most likely have a few degrees from some prestigious universities.

The whole article was total retardedness.

I spend more than 30 minutes on my computer a day. I play Quake online. I have an AMD chip. I have a Geforce video card. I have a cable internet connection. Does that mean I am a hacker now ? I think not. Next time the author should write about something which he actually has intelligence in, instead of writing total bullshit.

I feel stupid for reading this.


 
is your son a hacker? (none / 0) (#3314)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:31:01 AM PST
dude if you think this is what kids do to be hackers where the hell have you been????
i just think that you pulled this out of your ass and decided to type it up. There is not one single piece of truthful information presented in your article. the progrmas you mentioned, HA dont even get me started!! QUAKE! that is nothing more than a computer game i guess you'll tell us that doom and its precursore wolfenstein and blood were "hacker basic training 101" you are the bigiest idot i think i've ever read in any message board!!! Where did you come up with your info? i'd love to chat with your source. That would be quite comical! And Telnet ,oh god, that is every windows computer! just go to start run and type in telnet! linux is a different OS than what you run and it takes real computer knowledge to use it. AMD processors whip the shit out of intel processors any day of the week. And guess what you can buy them at your local "best buy"
Mr. Gibbons if this is your real opinion of what a hacker does then you are sorely mistaken and you should just take your computer and give it to someone who knows something about it. You should just not even touch a computer EVER. and sir if i do happen to "DOS " your computer i'l be sure to put a big F*ck you in there for you.

have a nice day!!!


 
Alfie (none / 0) (#3318)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:54:06 AM PST
For anyone who likes to read anything and everything, or just suspense novels: This artical kindof makes me think of Alfie, from Dean Koontz's "Mr. Murder".
Just sayin, have a day...


 
WHAT THE FECK!!!!!!!!!!!??? (none / 0) (#3319)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:59:43 AM PST
that thing is really REALLY LAME. and untrue. AMD ish a trusted processor company and are definitely not in a third world country. and there is no such thing as Lunix, its LINUX and it is not "evil" or anything and CAN be removed from your hard drive easily =\ get it right.... u LOSERS that wrote that stupid thing.
what, u think people are STUPID!? u think they will believe this crap!?? well the only stupid ones are YOU, the ppl that made this sh!t.

and NO i am NOT a hacker though i wish i was so i could get rid of this FECKED UP GAY website........=\

ADEQUACY.ORG SuCKS!!!!!!!

one thing to say: WHAT THE!? =\


 
ROFL (none / 0) (#3320)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:01:46 AM PST
That was a great joke :) I thought the original post was well written and a great piece of satire but THEN I got to the replies. I have never seen so many people get fooled by such a blatently obvious joke.

I laughed at this article but I laughed even harder at the stupidity of the replies. Thanks guys, you have just made my night.


 
Hahaha!!!!! (none / 0) (#3321)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:08:11 AM PST
I knew that pepole are stupid but this...
Laying on the floor laughing for 15 minuts now...


 
this is just stupid (none / 0) (#3323)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:08:49 AM PST
this is what paranoia does to you. this was quite funny. have you in fact read any of those books which you claim were about hacking? and why should we, the readers, trust your word that these are about hacking and make booksellers "bow to community pressure?"



 
teehee (none / 0) (#3326)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:20:51 AM PST
God Bless all of you for making me laugh so god damn hard. fuk everyone who takes this seriously, for they are stupid. Bless those who ripp it apart, for the cheer me up!




D3v


 
Hilarious --- Nice work (none / 0) (#3327)
by Xenos on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:30:28 AM PST
There's no possible way that the this person could've seriously believe any of this... you'd have to be seriously unbalanced to go dream up linux and bonzi buddy conspiracies. So I'm going to assume this was a joke, and in that case, nice job: it's hilarious.


 
FUNNY ASS SHIT (none / 0) (#3328)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:30:37 AM PST
HAHAAHAHAHA

What a good laugh at 1 in the morning. I haven't heard something that funny since OJ killed Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. HAHAHA WHAT A FUCKING MORON, STRAIGHT UP BONAFIDE IDIOT. Bonzi?? Hacking??? F-U-C-K-I-N-G R-E-T-A-R-D

PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST


 
are u retarded (none / 0) (#3329)
by soccerpimp on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:38:39 AM PST
It is people like this douche bag that make computer literate kids look like punks. It is only because of his own stupidity about computers that he makes such acusations about such harmless softwear as BonziBuddy...i mean get real, how can a talking gorilla in anyway be related to Hacking. The same goes for Comet Cursor and Flash...which are generally the tools used by the first time website designer. Quake quite possibly one of the best games ever is no forum for hacking or training ground for firearm use. With that i move on to his comments about Linux..which i have installed on my other computer that is going to be my web server, it is nothing more than a great web based OS it limits your activities so that there is no way that your son a begining computer user would be able to use this for hacking. Along with an AMD processor..why would one choose such an unsophisticated processor if they were going to break the law...personally i would put my P4 up against any Athlon processor on the market. As for the rest of your profoundly idiotic statements about his appearance and such....he is merely trying to find his group of friends and the crowd that will accept him as one of thier own....it is common in every teenager across the globe not just in your twisted vision of what a "hacker" is. It sounds to me that you sir, have a bigger problem than your son the "hacker" and that is kicking that nasty crack habit of yours because it is apparently killing whatever brain u had to begin with


 
I agree... (none / 0) (#3330)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:38:57 AM PST
well i sure hope that this article was meant to be funny. wether is was or not i dont care, maybe i just lacked the sence of humor to "get it" and became enraged. so i agree sir, GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING BFG!


 
EVERYBODY: IT'S A JOKE!!! (none / 0) (#3331)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:54:52 AM PST
This is a satire! Stop getting so pissed off already! Jeez, some people have no sense of humor.


 
stoemekloot (none / 0) (#3332)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:59:00 AM PST
wuknen ezel ziej gie?


 
Really? (none / 0) (#3333)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:05:47 AM PST
Oh dear. As a European I have wondered about the ignorance of som Americans I've met (though certainly not all). Is it a lack of education or just the idea that the world ends where the USA stops? I was once told by a US citicen he was amazed we had cars here. Cars!

Still, i am really dumbfolded by this whole discussion, not to mention the first 'article'. This fathermight want to watch his step, as he is probably alienating his son from him, and I find disturbing that this man may blame computers and 'hackers' and Soviets (har!har!) for it.

Anyway, its these kinds of ideas and convictions that eventually lead to violence. In whatever way. There is just no excuse for stupidity once ignorance is lifted.


 
Moron... (none / 0) (#3334)
by PainPiller on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:06:20 AM PST
i cant help but laugh at you.... your a complete moron. "Comet Cursor" is a hacking program now. Well thats news to me you dumbfuck. Amd... LOL your fuckin stupid... I HAVE AMD, COMET CURSOR, And alot of the things you named.. I spend over 8hrs a day on my computet. You my friend are a moron, why do you bother with a computer? Why dont you just send your kids out into the world right now? Or better yet give them up for adoption anything would be better than living with you. YOU ARE NOT A MODEL PARENT YOU ARE A MORON! You are the type of person who gets there kids thinking that the internet is a thing sent from the devil. Which it might be being as Bill Gates resemembles satan. As for your so called guide of how to tell your son is a hacker.. I laugh at the fact that you had gumption enough to post it. You have proved how deep your ignorance runs in this simple post. Yet you made me laugh harder than i have in a long time. As for your so called parenting skills, you have none. Give your kids up for adoption so they at least stand a chance at having a normal life instead of making them utter morons like you obviously are. As for the fact that you call yourself a parent.. that makes me sick. You are not a parent you are hitler all over again. Next thing you post will be the fact that the world is going to come to an end at the end of this year. I feel sorry for your children and as for your son Peter, you have made his life hell from this post if i was to ever see him i would laugh and point and say hey look its the son of the biggest moron the world has ever seen! My guess is your son most likely wishes he was dead for the simple fact of who his parents are. If my parents acted like you do i would kill them. I would do the world a favor and kill them before they deploy they're idiocy on the rest of the world. I have one last thing to say to you, go to the nearest gun shop buy a 12 gauge shotgun load it with buckshot stick the barrel under your chin and pull the trigger. It might actually make your kids become normal like the rest of the world.


 
Excuse me? (none / 0) (#3335)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:06:31 AM PST
I reckon that you should check to see how you brought up your kids.
I mean, god, you have firearms, and then blame him for hacking?
No wonder America's a fucked up place.


 
Article Writer = Dumb shit (none / 0) (#3336)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:17:34 AM PST
OMG YOU LOSER! I KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT COMPUTERS AND YOU'RE DUMBER THAN I AM!! YOU HAVE NOTHING, YOU FACIST SLAVE-DRIVING, MISERABLE, NO GOOD, EMPTY, MISGUIDED EXCUSE FOR A SHITTY PARENT!!! DON'T EXPOUND THIS EMPTY UNRESEARCHED CRAP ON OTHERS, THEY HAVE LIES TO DEAL WITH ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT IT BEING CLOUDED BY YOUR IMMORAL STUPIDITY!! W00t now...BIATCH!!


 
This is truly funny! :-) (none / 0) (#3337)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:18:59 AM PST
LOL, great article!

The angry reply's posted by some morons make it even funnier :-)


 
IVIN (none / 0) (#3338)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:20:27 AM PST
i think my son, ivin, is becoming a serieus hacker he never. He always stays home to play Quake. And never goes to school. And he always wants to kiss my but


 
OMFG (none / 0) (#3344)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:55:19 AM PST
ROFLMAO


 
This was a joke (none / 0) (#3345)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:00:02 AM PST
So you can stop posting like it was 4real...


 
THIS IS SUCH B^ll$h!+ (none / 0) (#3346)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:06:23 AM PST
I cant help but rolling on the floor laughing after i read this. i would say that 90% of your documentation is very OFF. quake is a 3d first person shooter GAME. Its used by GAMERS not hackers. Hackers do like to use "LINUX" which is just an operating system just like "Windows" >i call it windose<. some things on the net are just here to waste space. THIS IS ONE OF THEM. Thank you!!!

-Dj Wiggle Me Jiggle

"The B_at Mast_r"
Where the e's go? I ATE EM!


 
Is this a joke? (none / 0) (#3348)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:51:13 AM PST
A parody? This is just the kind of ill-educated scaremongering idiocy that I thought humanity had left in the dark ages. Not to mention *grossly* innaccurate. Being both an IT proffessional and a father (although she's not yet old enough to do anything with my PC :) ), I would *support* my child if she took such a big interest in computers. Heaven knows we need more and more IT professionals to cope with mankind's growing assosiation (and reliance) and computers. I can safely say that *all* of the points brought up are either inaccurate to the point of absurdity, or in the case of 7), 9), and 10) better explained by *other* problems. Bearing in mind that what was posted above in *no way* constituates being a hacker, what other "evidence" do you have? I suppose you're going to tell me he's quoting from "Gangsta" films next...(!)

I suppose you also think that all Flight Sims should be banned because of the WTC tradegy? That all computer games corrupt our children and *force* them to become devil-worshipping "Trenchcoat Massacre" fans?
I await a coherent *adult* reply when you've finished your witch-hunt.


 
This thingy (none / 0) (#3351)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:04:30 AM PST
1 good thing has come out of it.

that spanking site is great!


 
I've got only one thing to Say. (none / 0) (#3352)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:06:18 AM PST
/me falls off his chair and laughs so hard an ambulance has to be called.......


OMG he uses IRC, he must be a hacker. jesus get a grip, you people are WAY off your heads.

Its obviously a joke. heh.


 
Cool (none / 0) (#3353)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:11:00 AM PST



 
Funny (none / 0) (#3354)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:12:43 AM PST
This is pretty funny. The funniest thing is that almost verybody, including me, bought it at first site :)


 
OMFG (none / 0) (#3355)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:14:15 AM PST
U ARE A MORON U F$%$%N MORON LAFF LAFF LAFF!! MUHAHAHAHA U DONT KNOW SHAITTAZ ABOUT H4x0r'n WTF BONZI BUDDY TO HACK LAFF !!!!! U AER MAKN URSLF LOOK INGORNANT!!@@! YADDAAAP DDIPAASHAIIAT REASSAEARCH BEFOERE UPOST!


 
Oh darn... (none / 0) (#3356)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:18:02 AM PST
...that'll teach me to read all the replies before posting.. :)

Suckered by the Brady Bunch...I'll never live it down....


 
Posted By: Thijs Roes (none / 0) (#3358)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:23:04 AM PST
Yes my daddy also goes to parties with me. He used to do this when I was 16, and he still does! (I'm 25 now). It's a great way to prevent your kids from drinking (alcohol is made by the Devil, and/or Linus Thorvalds) and it really creates a bond between you and your children! I would recommend it to everyone! It also prevented me from becoming a hacker. If it wasn't for my dad, who refrained me from using OS/2 Warp, I would be a sinful hacker now! Thank you for posting this article! It means a lot to me!


 
psycho (none / 0) (#3361)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:46:50 AM PST
...well well well, what a boring life! But anyway, I also have a third-world cpu (lol), also have tried out Lunix???, haven't also AOL-crap installed... all in all, I'm far away to be a Hacker. So, this list is funny to read, but tells us nothing, just another crap on the net.




 
usa has Dmca and many stupid people (none / 0) (#3367)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:16:01 AM PST
:)))) as i say :))))
Idiots in usa are everywher :))))


 
***WHAT A DUMB RETARDED FUCK*** (none / 0) (#3369)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:35:24 AM PST
Whoever wrote this, the arsehole webmasters of this site, you are god damn morons. If you thought this was funny, you're not. You're a bunch of pathetic inbread trailer trash fucks who are too stupid to understand humor.


 
maybe u should close ur dumb, sexist, trap! (none / 0) (#3372)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:16:08 AM PST
f u mofo! girls cant b hakas joo say LOL
my cuz hax all! lol i sik her on joo!
also, u said games such as quake are a training ground for hackers LOL
u ARE the most ignorant SOB i've ever met!
EVERYONE plays quake. and as 4 the "hacker" dress style... more than 1/2 my school, including teachers, dresses like that. i guess that means that saline must be the hacking center of the world...

truely, it saddens me to see such ignorant fools, as yourself. may u never touch a computer in your life, for then the world would be much better off

rOfLmFaO @ joo!



 
it's PARODY, get a grip (none / 0) (#3373)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:26:50 AM PST
Have you people no sense of humor? This is not a serious article, it's a JOKE! AMD a third world company? Intentional mispelling of Linux? Quit responding to it as though it were a factual article and laugh, this thing is a hoot.


 
Spank! (none / 0) (#3374)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:28:17 AM PST
I liked the link to the Spanking fetish site...

Mmmmm...


 
*sigh* (none / 0) (#3375)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:31:28 AM PST
Psssstttt... This article is an example of "taking the piss" - a simple joke... there's no way of saying this kindly - you people are dumb arses.


 
If your song has Glow Sticks and Pacifiers (none / 0) (#3377)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:39:45 AM PST
You have a bigger problem then Hackers.

Either A. he is a wannabe rave scene person.

B. He uses X. When you do X you have a tendency to grind your teeth and people wear these so there jaw doesn't hurt.


 
This is a J-o-k-e (none / 0) (#3378)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:43:34 AM PST
You people are all really stupid.


 
This is a joke right? (none / 0) (#3379)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:49:35 AM PST
When I first started reading this article I had high expectations for a well researched article. After reading the first few paragraphs I quickly realized that this had to be a joke.

This article is so far from the truth in almost all of its aspects that I had to double check the calendar to make sure it wasn't April fools day.

If the author of this article was intentionally writing a comical article, bravo! This was the funniest thing I have read in quite a while. If it is supposed to be serious, then god help us! Just because your son or daughter wants any of the above mentioned changes/upgrades does not mean you have to worry. In fact, reading this article made me seriously wonder whether or not this person is under the employ of either AOL/Time Warner or Intel.


I just pray that no parent will put any validity to this article.




 
This Article (none / 0) (#3382)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:50:23 AM PST
Is bullshit. The guy who read it aint informed about anything concerning computers and he propably dont know fuck all about what its like today. Get back to the stone age please.

B u l l s h i t.


 
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MORON AT WORK! (none / 0) (#3385)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:14:09 AM PST
i couldnt stop laughing, what a dumb ass. how stupid does some one have to be to think linux is a hacker program and spell it wrong. i would be glad the kid is still reading and getting good grades the computor time should be his reward not to sit there and remind him how your arrogant simple minded ass grounded him for somthing he isnt even remotely guilty off. why does he want somthing other than AOL? BECAUSE IT SUCKS! why does he want video card upgrades and other computor upgrades? so he can run newer more enjoyable programs to play on and not have some slow ass machine. you should go opologize to your son and read up on some computors for dummies or some how to understand what a computor is for dummies extra stupid eddition. for your stupidity and ability to royaly screw over your kids relation and what he thinks of you i give you the grade a dumb ass slash fucking moron award, go bang your head on the wall and be proud


 
You sir, are an IDIOT. (none / 0) (#3386)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:29:16 AM PST
T Reginald Gibbons, you should have died along with the rest of your kind when Cro Magnon Man became the dominant species. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD DO SOME G0DAMNED RESEARCH BEFORE PARADING YOUR IGNORANCE BEFORE US!!!!!


 
omg! (none / 0) (#3389)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:45:11 AM PST
This is gotta be a joke I hope the people at AMD and iD software find this and sue you guys.


 
That's not funny !! (none / 0) (#3390)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:53:26 AM PST
Yes, many parents things like that, and a vast majority react like that.
Imagine one of this kind of parents who look for information and read this article. The communauty will loose immediately un future adept.:<


 
If this isn't a joke (none / 0) (#3393)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:13:13 AM PST
I seriosly hope this is a joke. If it's not I'd like to know how some one so missinformed could even manage to post such an artical.

AMD: The best Prossesor on the market IMO.

Faster Video card for hacking? what for? Mind you, I don't know much about hacking as I havn't even bothered to look into it but if I understand it right most hacking is done using simple programs at the most with very low graphics requirments.

Linix for hacking, well, I wouldn't know. I don't use it, don't want to, not enough of my games would work on it.

Now, about that brain dammage, how long did it take to write this artical?

If you are serious about the Daughters not being skilled enough, since when? Over half the studets in my programing classes these last few quarters were female. and in my opinion most of them were better programers then most the guys in the class.

Of course once I add my little sig to the end I'm sure some of the people reading this will think I'm a hacker. I assure you, I'm not.

Drake Brimstone
Provisioner, Command Council
Star Syndicate
A Nutral PA in SWG


 
wow (none / 0) (#3397)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:43:43 AM PST
I have to say that if this is a "real" warning then someone really needs to get out more.

I run linux, so I guess I'm a hacker. Hooray!

By the way, does unix make me a hacker too? Because then I'm a double hacker.


 
Fiction vs. Reality (none / 0) (#3404)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:17:40 AM PST
Ok.
I've had alot of fun reading your self delusional, self serving misinformed parental drivel. You should be writing for the Onion!
Anyway, besides the obvious and all inclusive BS you are shooting out, you really went over the top with your "hacker manual" comments.

First off, if you actually walked into a bookstore, you'd know that most, if not all of those books would be found in the FICTION section. Science Fiction to be exact. Snow Crash and Cryptonomicon and Neuromancer are some of my favorite FICTIONAL NOVELS. Nice "research" you Dolt.

And by suggesting that bookstores should "remove" these "hacker manuals" in the best interest of the community...good lord. You might as well suggest that they gather up all the copies of "Fahrenheit 451" and BURN THEM.


 
wow.... someone who doesnt know ANY facts... (none / 0) (#3405)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:18:43 AM PST
man, if my son did half the stuff you said I'd be proud! I'd play quake with them on the LAN I'd have set up in my house! If my son mastered linux (which I dont even know) I'd give him a gold star. If my son wanted to upgrade his computer I'd make him work his butt off for it :P but I'd let him.

Maybe your problem is your to anal... you need to let your sons/daughters have the freedom to find out who and what they want to be without your eye on them 24/7. You sound like a Tyrant ignorant of the world around him, any suspicious activity and your ready with the fire and the sword rather than trying to educate yourself for real. Maybe instead of books you should turn to real professionals for answers. If you asked any Computer Tech they'd tell you you have no reason to worry and that your son just might turn out to be a Computer Science major. Maybe instead of banning your son from the computer you should help your son learn how to use the computer more.

Buy him some books on how to program in C/C++ since he seems interested in Linux. Buy him some books on how to program for the web (HTML/Java/pearl) since he seems interested in the internet.


 
wow.... someone who doesnt know ANY facts... (none / 0) (#3408)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:24:47 AM PST
man, if my son did half the stuff you said I'd be proud! I'd play quake with them on the LAN I'd have set up in my house! If my son mastered linux (which I dont even know) I'd give him a gold star. If my son wanted to upgrade his computer I'd make him work his butt off for it :P but I'd let him.

Maybe your problem is your to anal... you need to let your sons/daughters have the freedom to find out who and what they want to be without your eye on them 24/7. You sound like a Tyrant ignorant of the world around him, any suspicious activity and your ready with the fire and the sword rather than trying to educate yourself for real. Maybe instead of books you should turn to real professionals for answers. If you asked any Computer Tech they'd tell you you have no reason to worry and that your son just might turn out to be a Computer Science major. Maybe instead of banning your son from the computer you should help your son learn how to use the computer more.

Buy him some books on how to program in C/C++ since he seems interested in Linux. Buy him some books on how to program for the web (HTML/Java/pearl) since he seems interested in the internet.

The worst possable thing you can do is falsely accuse your son of something he didnt do. Kids have a tendancy to rebel, and with something like this you might be opening the door for him and shoving him through.


 
Sad (none / 0) (#3409)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:26:37 AM PST
The scary part is that guys like you can actually *vote*... This article would be comical if it's not so sad. I feel sorry for your kids. I hope they will survive the trauma of having you as a father.


 
Son is a smart shopper if you ask me (none / 0) (#3410)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:29:25 AM PST
If your son requests a CPU made by AMD he is either a smart kid on a budget or trying to get you the most for your money. AMD chips are generally Faster, Better and Cheaper than Intel, Peiod! This article sounds like it was written by people who work for AOL and Intel to keep you from buying better products at better prices.


 
BWAHAHAHAHAHA (none / 0) (#3416)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:03:08 AM PST
DUDE that is some of the FUNNIEST crap I ever did read.
First off, AMD is a VERY respected company, and at the current moment, their Athlon CPU's are far better than Pentium. Do the fuckin reasearch RIGHT if your going to do it looser.
SECOND off. Lynix (or however its spelt LOL) Is NOT A HACKING PROGRAM, while it can be used as such, it is FAR more eficient than windows, or whatever the hell it is Macs are using, IF you know how to use it.
THIRD. Comet cursor? LMMFGDAO!!!! That does nothing but put a stupid little picture on your cursor, MORON! I disected that program myself out of curiosity :P
QUAKE is one of the most popular GAMES, thats right COMPUTER GAMES on the market today. TELL ME, how would ANYONE train a hacker while they were running arround trying to kill em on a computer game? SHIT MAN! I feel SO damn sorry for your kid.

And as for ISP. AOL SUCKS BILL GATES SHIZNAT!
They are one of the slowest, most SCREWED UP ISP's on the market today.
Hacker friendly my foot! If your son were a hacker, he would know how to circumvent AOL's security programs and do whatever the hell he wanted. I know this from Experience :P

Finally GET A LIFE YOU IDOIT!
You OBVIOUSLY arent suited to computers, so go live in Omish country or something!!!!!!


 
Please God Please... (none / 0) (#3418)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:18:45 AM PST
I pray that this article is recognized as Sarcasam and Humor. Please, dear lord, don't not let the feeble minded and weak of spirt believe this tripe. Please let other "enlightened,modern Parents" learn only humor and tolerance from the example of the fictional stooge who wrote this article.
AMEN!

BTW, I live very near the AMD plant in Sunnyvale, CA, it only "seems" like the Third World.



 
chill (none / 0) (#3419)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:21:13 AM PST
Read any good jokes lately? Lighten up you anal-retentive morons. Remember, in the land of P.C. (that's political correctness) only the P.C'ers are the idiots.


 
hehehe (none / 0) (#3420)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:34:50 AM PST
The article was fairly humerous, but the responses taking it as seriously written are great. Im LMAO here. Heh, I barely chuckled until I got to the indignant cries about AMD not *actually* being the chip of the devil and whatnot. Haha, solid gold man, keep it up.
Aryk


 
ROLFMAO!!! (none / 0) (#3423)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:48:56 AM PST
Mr. Gibbons

I hate to tell you this, but YOU ARE THE DUMBEST PERSON I EVER MET IN MY LIFE!!!!!! Comet cursor for hacking.......What planet are you from? Quake is a realm for hackers to train in weapons.......Have you ever heard the term "computer games", twit. Linux is an operating system like windows but with less graphics than windows and is used for servers..........damn, why am I telling you this, since you are so uneducated that you probably do not know where is the power button for computer located.

I feel sorry for your son. I feel sorry for your whole family. You should first read book titled "Computers for absolute, uneducated and retarded idiots" and maybe after hard absorption of the material of that book, you will be able to post normal stories.

When I first read it, it was the funniest thing I ever read in my life. You're pathetic Mr. Gibbons!


 
AMD is not illegal (none / 0) (#3426)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:06:41 PM PST
AMD is another processor that is offered in thouands of computer, most Compaq computer is them, and are just as available as Intel. I don't know where you got that from, but the guy should be shot.

Next time do a little bit more research to prevent yourself from looking like an idiot.


 
dumbass hacker bullshit... (none / 0) (#3432)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 12:47:24 PM PST
how unaware, sheltered, uneducated....
Before you start spouting ridiculous bullshit like that, why don't you yourself start USING the computer to see what it is capable of, and then you can justly judge what your kids are doing... don't let them grow up as repressed and ignorant as you!


 
oh for the love of god, come on, guys (none / 0) (#3436)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:16:40 PM PST
this article, like many on this site, is intended to amuse. face it, this was absolutely hysterical. the guys who write this stuff are a riot, and they're probably IT guys. who else but an IT guy would come up with stuff like this?

they know about sterling and gibson and quake: they're otaku (shit, i should know).

so quit flipping out and calling them idiots -- they're just very good comedians. like techno versions of tom green or andy kaufman -- they keep a straight face, push it as far as it will go. frankly, it's pretty damn good entertainment.

especially when people take it seriously and start screaming... :)


 
this is probably a joke? (none / 0) (#3438)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:22:33 PM PST
bonzi buddy is definatly not hacker software;
does this look 'hacker' to you? http://www.bonzi.com/bonzibuddy/bonzibuddyfreehom.asp

quake is just a game, deleting "wondiws" does not destroy your computer etc.


 
You should be sued. (none / 0) (#3439)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:24:23 PM PST
First of all, AMD is most difenatly not a thirdworld childklilling a la Nike corporation, as a matter of fact their "Cheap, Knock offs" of your holy American intels are much better than Pentiums.

LINUX is perfectly legal, instead of downloading, go down to a fucking Future Shop and buy it. Hmmm $10 Linux vs $400 Windows XP (hacker tool of tomorrow)

Well, you fucking Kathie Lee Gifford wanna be, if you should petiton against a bookstore for selling Neuromancer *cough*, then maybe you should petition against Compaq too, because that delightful little Compaq that you bought little Petey was one of the first companies to introduce an AMD based line, so you better return that too the store before the radiation turns Peter into a criminal.

Oh yeah, and you better get sued by Id Software, Macromedia, Compaq, AMD, all Linux developers, Microsoft, the former Soviet Union, Finland, and ATI, Nvida, AND EVERYOTHER FUCKING INDUSTRY AND THING THAT YOU INSULTED, DEGRADED, and FLAT OUT LIED ABOUT IN YOUR RETARDED LITTLE ESSAY.

"Enlightened Modern Parent.".... You are a fucking joke.

Peace




 
Inteligence Vs Ignorance. (none / 0) (#3440)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:29:13 PM PST
I read the article and grinned, then read the comments and laughed. What I still find humorous is the fact that script kiddies are posting implying that this article was intended to be a factual document. There were far too many posts, of the same old pointless babble so I decided to let you morons in on the secret.
I would first like to point out that in order to make a document with such extreme fallacy seem credible, the author requires a fair amount of knowledge. The author in this case knew what he was talking about, and wrote the article as a joke with the hope of seeing more than 150 idiotic posts... well guess what guys, you gave him what he wanted.
I will now point out what I was talking about. The author of this article tried to make it as generic and all-encompassing as possible, and did quite a good job at it I might add. He (I assume) purposely linked to www.lunix.com I would also like to point out that AOL is the ISP of the ignorant, and that anyone in their right mind would not want to be caught dead using it. Back in the good `ol days when I was STEALING internet from FreeISPs such as Juno, NetZero, and 1stup I received better quality internet than I ever would have with AOL. I stall stealing internet because I "hacked" the `ad bars' which had dual benefits; it prevented the annoying advertisements from appearing and it prevented disconnections for not moving the mouse.
I believe that my post is sufficiently long as it is, so I shall summarize. 1) The author had a decent understanding of computers. 2) Most (> 80%) of the people who posted to this board are complete idiots. 3) This article is an ideal thing to send to your enemies parents! Because of the credibility the author maintains throughout the ridiculous lies he tells, this article can fool most `analog parents'.


 
don't be so serious people... (none / 0) (#3443)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:38:04 PM PST
You are all ripping the original article like you really believe the author to be serious. Isn't it obvious that the Hacker article is a very well-written piece of comedy? I thought it was painfully obvious. Look at some of the links in the article. C'mon, do you think a truly concerned parent would link the word "spanking" when describing punishing a child to www.spanking.com? Those who accuse the author of being a fool are the real fools here. Geez, people open your eyes to some really excellent comedic stylings!


 
This article..... (none / 0) (#3445)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:49:35 PM PST
Well sir, I myself am a sixteen year male. In your article you have some really funny stuff. For example Comet Cursor; which by the way many people use, everyone at school for that matter with a computer; is a program that allows you to change your cursor, you know figures why it says cursor in the name, huh? Bonzi Buddy is a program you send instant messages with. Flash is a program for moving pictures or movies. Yes I have asked my dad to change ISPs because of the drops from the internet that AOL has. Your part about DOsing your computer is a load of bull, DOSing your computer is a way to fix errors that can't be fixed from windows, or you can use it to install windows. Just so you know Quake is a computer GAME, it is NOT virtual reality. The son becoming argumentative piece, ohh thats really a good sign as far as I know all sons go throught a phase of being really argumentative in their lower teen years, so that is NOT a good sign. I'm not even going to mess with making fun of "Lunix". Just so you know the fashion changes it went from the fashionably right people were wearing dark colors to really bright colors, so that kills this sign. Struggling academically, well I don't know how you linked that to hacking but it might be your son is too lazy to do the work, or doesn't turn work in, or maybe just maybe doesn't understand this and should be held back to learn it.


 
MORON!!! (none / 0) (#3446)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:52:09 PM PST
This is the biggest load of crap I have read in my life! Linux (incorrectly spelled as "Lunix") is an operating system! Quake is a video game with completely imaginary weapons! "Training ground?" I dare you to try and find guns like the BFG 9000 in real life! "Hacker programs?" Comet cursor: an online cursor download program. Bonzi Buddy: a virtual pet. Flash: if you don't know what this is for, you don't know anything about the internet, much less hacking! I'm sorry "T. Reginald Giggons," but I'm going to have to kick your ingnorant ass, and no, this "surly" behavior isn't because I'm a hacker, a fact that I would proudly flout to you if it were true. I am also offended at the way you imply that girls cannot possibly be hackers. This is a quite obviously sexist view, and, judging from the poll, it isn't your only count of bigotry. Oh, yes! AOL is also one of the main ISPs used by hackers nowadays! Faster video card? Yes, hackers need fast VIDEO cards, because you know how much of hacking needs the ability to run computer game graphics smoothly.
I would go on, but stream of consciousness is running out. I only have one more thing to say...
YOU FUCKING IDIOT MORON!!!

- The Dark Lord Korax


 
its not the author that worries me (none / 0) (#3447)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:09:21 PM PST
Its not exactly the author of the post that worries me, he's totally B.S.'ing. Its funny though.

I'm more concerned that there are parents out there, who actually believe some of the things he's written down. I mean, there are some totally ignorant parents out there, and they don't need the help of more misinformation. Know what i mean?


 
Hacking (none / 0) (#3452)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:34:30 PM PST
We have here a very parochial person. Obviously xenophobic but these sort of people are needed in this world to make the rest of us look good.


 
i have flash,does that mean some hacker got in??!! (none / 0) (#3456)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 02:54:31 PM PST
darn it! this means ill have to reinstall linux (its hard to find good hacking software used by businesses) and hopefully not damage my hard drive, since i was so luckey it diddnt the first 3 times, and stay away from all the hacker programs like netscape oe internet explorer since those can be used to go to hacker sites. LOL if you want a good non-hacker friendly program to suit your self-rightous lifestyle try downloading a game called Whack-A-Mole ;)



 
heh (none / 0) (#3464)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:30:15 PM PST
/me pisses self laughing
OMG!
gotta be a hoax, jesus

if we go by wot this guy says here, then according to him;

IM THE DEVIL!



 
Runaway!!!! Save yourself!!! (none / 0) (#3465)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:41:20 PM PST
If you happen to "hack" in and see what your clueless, moronic parent wrote, then your only option is to runaway and attempt to escape the extreme genetic stupidity you have inherited. Hopefully you will find a place where you won't be incarcerated by such a dumbass, fathead!




 
can a hacker get some respect up in here? (none / 0) (#3467)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:42:44 PM PST
If it werent for "hackers" we would still be in the dark age. Computers have advanced our world far beyond the capabilities of "the old ways". Now, when i was young, i grew up playin with LEGOs and building little stuff, and that became fun. and when i became 9, Dad got the first computer ive ever seen. is was a 486 50mhz computer. when we first put it together, the first thing i did was figure out how to change the password. it drove my parents crazy. i guess you could say i was born a hacker. but in the end, I am forever seeking knowledge about computers and advancing to the next level of computing. Yes, it is possible to be the smartest person of past knowledge, but it takes a pure genius to take that knowledage and use it to make new things and seek a greater level of, as you started off, enlightenment. yes this sometimes mean breaking rules that were made by useless, egotistical fools like yourself,but in all hackers have developed and fullfilled the world as we know it. I am reminded of a book which I think shows the true spirit of the hacker. It was writen by Steven Levy, it is called "Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution". It tells about some students from MIT (yes , MIT, that big fancy college for all those who think hackers are just teens)that wrote the first code for punch card machines that was provided at MIT. Even if you are afraid of a hacker, this is a good book to read to understand the concept behind a hacker. I myself am a hacker, and ill admit it. ive tried my best to seek knowledge from the internet and to enhance my capabilities as a computer expert. And if it comes down to it, i will fight for my right to seek this truth, which has been hendered by such biblical non-sense that was released by the previous document. i am shocked at the communism in such a household. i think that these children should be released from such terror. hell, u might as well call the guy who wrote that document Osama and shoot his ass.

Deathbyc4


 
the devil (none / 0) (#3471)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:52:49 PM PST
Quake is the work of the devil. If your son is playing quake and using linux, it's for sure that he's a criminal or going to be one. Eventually he WILL take drugs, beat up his mother, make his sister pregnant and kill his classmates... no doubt about. Or... Maybe you should try beeing realistic!!! If your son is raised as good as you say he is, you should try to trust him. You obviously don't know anything about computers or the youth of today. Linuxis a gift to the people that don't want to pay great amounts for microsoft products, from other people who whants to give away their knowledge for free... You don't have to thank them or use their products, but don't blame it on open source evironment.


 
I'm A Federal Officer (none / 0) (#3472)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:56:06 PM PST
... and I just want you to know that we are reading this list. We will be arresting all you Flash using and Quake playing hackers. By the time you read this we will be breaking down your doors.

I would also like to mention that anyone with a glowstick in their possession will be given 30 years in jail because not only is hacking terrorism but glowsticks are also drug paraphenalia. The parents of any of these drug addict hackers will also face prosecution to the fullest extent of the law.

We would also like encourage any of you who want to stop the corruption of our youth to immediately report any Internet users who are no longer using AOL to the authorities immediately. Only with your help can we keep America safe for Americans.

Thank you.






 
gosh.. FOOL! (none / 0) (#3473)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:57:11 PM PST
^^^^^^ everyone has summed it up very well for me... i just can't believe you....
pft....

you are a looser!!! go @#$% yourself


 
amd is the devil??? (none / 0) (#3474)
by adawgtrix on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:58:08 PM PST
whats this, i think it's an intel associate. people keep coming to my store and wanting there money back for the amd athlon and xps that they have bought. please listen you dumbass fucking bastard. i don't need you ruining my business, so shut the fuck up! thank you.


 
YOU STUPID IGNORANT FUCK (none / 0) (#3476)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:01:06 PM PST
YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE. Every single thing you said in that article was a COMPLETE and total pile of BULLSHIT. You sir dont know JACK about computers, and this is the most disgusting article i have EVER read in my entire life. Your complete ignorance astonishes me. I am apolled that this article is even allowed to exist. This type if BS is the real thing driving kids to school shootings imo. If i was your son i would shoot people too. Because your extreme-psychopathic dillusional opionons and rules, i would most likely run away, or perhaps one day snap and strike you down with a baseball bat. Not because i am violent, oh no. Because i would have become so unbelievably smashed by your complete lack of intelligence that i would have no other option aside from becoming a repressed psychotic as an adult do to your ignorant parenting. Do your son a favor and apologize to him immediately, let him use the computer (consider buying him new components) and then SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!


 
the devil (none / 0) (#3477)
by spectator on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:02:36 PM PST
Quake is the work of the devil. If your son is playing quake and using linux, it's for sure that he's a criminal or going to be one. Eventually he WILL take drugs, beat up his mother, make his sister pregnant and kill his classmates... no doubt about it. Or... Maybe you should try beeing realistic!!! If your son is raised as good as you say he is, you should try to trust him. You obviously don't know anything about computers or the youth of today. Linuxis a gift to the people that don't want to pay great amounts for microsoft products, from other people who whants to give away their knowledge for free... You don't have to thank them or use their products, but don't blame it on open source evironment for our failiur as a parent.


 
whatta asshole (none / 0) (#3478)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:03:11 PM PST
ohh my god, i have no words .. are all americans realy so stupid.. the best one is : AMD is third-world chip - hmm .. our cool father forgot that all AMD chipsets have a special BIOS menu with :
HACK THE WORLD - enable/disable

press F1 (help) for stupid parents


 
Wow. (none / 0) (#3482)
by mirrsy on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:14:35 PM PST
This is incredible. I've been insulted on several levels. First of all, I used to be one of these 'scene whores' (I'm even on the Kevin Bacon-esque link that they provided, but only to two people. The list shown is of people who DATED who. And that's all that happened. I was 16 at the time.). Second, I am a pagan. Third... god, for third I don't even have the words to describe the laughter that ensued after reading this priceless article.


 
SERIOUSLY (none / 0) (#3493)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:35:02 PM PST
it is people like you who are destroying the online happiness running lunix probably the new versions that are specifically designed to destroy nations, and bring termoil to the entire earth via computers, and that evil flash stuff is used to help lunix break everything electronic, and bring back satan in a pc like the lawnmower man 2, they are all coordinated by an evil man named emmanuel goldstien who pretends to run magazines in his spare time www.2600.com, you are the best father in the world, and I praise you for your efficiency thank you very much for keeping the faith.

MrMiagi

this has been a statement in unrealism by MrMiagi:copyright 2001 Time-Warner inc. in conjunction with the MPAA: unlawfull reproduction will result in death.


 
A tragedy to know you believe this (none / 0) (#3496)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 04:47:49 PM PST
The title sums it up. You obviously are a man of limited intelligence and no real ability to study and analize a situation. There are so many blarring errors in what you have written that it is impossible to know where to start. That you believe that "girls" are not smart enough to handle todays technology is bizzare and leads me to think you either do not know any girls or are part of a strange cult that surpresses girls. That you listed software and lacked the knowledge to know what the software was capeable of was pathetic. You are a tragic individual and I trully hope and pray that no one takes your "monkey ramblings" seriously or believes a single word out of your misguided mouth as anything but ludicrous. Shame on you for being so foolish and stiring up trouble. I suspect you are jealous of the gifts your son has and wish to beat him down to your sad level.

As for me I believe that each generation should surpass the last. My son makes me proud everyday. His abilities with todays technologies are excellent and since we have a good relationship and can talk with each other; I have no reason to be jealous of a machine.


 
moron (none / 0) (#3500)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:11:31 PM PST
i would just like to say whoever did this article is a complete moron... do you know how many people do all these and aren't hakers it's a load of bullshit.. i use quake, changed my isp, put new video card in my comp, changed my apperance that doesn't make me a hacker this person generalized everything what a moron


 
Shame on you... (none / 0) (#3501)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:12:43 PM PST
You people posting these insulting things about the author of this amazing article obviously have no computer experience, much less experience hacking. Take it from me, a former hacker. I've been through everything the author mentioned, but unfortunately no one gave me the spanking I deserved. Sometimes I would stay on the computer for 48 hours straight, mostly trying to hack into secret government computers. Those manuals also told me I could get a job doing this stuff, but they lied. I'm now 34 years old working at a KFC in Middleofnowhere, Montana. Guess who my fellow employees are. Yup. Other hackers. Even Kevin Mitnick came by to put in an application. There wasn't enough money to go around though, so he had to go somewhere else. So take it from me, one former hacker who actually dares to touch a computer again...HACKING IS BAD. Those who do it need a good spanking. Something I should've gotten a long time ago. Now excuse me as I attempt to hack elby...I mean "Albert's" account.


 
I was going to post.... (none / 0) (#3502)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:18:29 PM PST
I was going to post a six-page diatribe about what a PhR33k1Ng m0r0n I am, but then I saw that every l33T h4xx0r already did. Damn.


 
Hackers (none / 0) (#3503)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:19:33 PM PST
First learn how to spell linux and second AMD is sold in stores so before you write something think first

peace

J.D


 
wow (none / 0) (#3504)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:28:58 PM PST
wow, you are actually the biggest dumb fuck in the entire world. . .i am amazed at your immense stupidity


 
grrr.. (none / 0) (#3505)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:30:14 PM PST
who exactly did the research for it?.. was it the taco stand sells man?.. have you guys looked at any of the facts?.. any teenager that is close to looking at a profession in any computer company would need everything you said above.
I read hacker manuals to build programs to protect weaklings like you from hackers.. and I mean to simply resent weakling as not knowing how else to defend yourself. Hacking is a little different from cracking.. what you stated there was hacking.. completely different.. if you want to explain cracking I would strongly suggest getting an editor that knows some stuff about this. also.. if your son is using AOL the only thing he would be able to hack is maybe his own e-mail box.. if he was lucky..
a further note.. AMD a thirdy country computer processing company?.. if I was the president of this corperation I think I would fire the writer.. Intel itself, as you clearly stated, the one and only CPU maker to be used in the US, is going into debt because the production of AMD. which out performs any intel cpu made to today.. if your son asks for an AMD I would not refuse him.. to begin with, they are cheaper, and are better performace. I almost spued out my drink when I saw you guys put better video card into the equation of hacking.. have your writters made it out of college?..


 
so? (none / 0) (#3507)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:33:18 PM PST
Do Hackers Get into Heaven?

(Heaven > regular employment)


 
wait wait wait (none / 0) (#3512)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:41:47 PM PST
this is a joke
right?
oh yea i belive what you have on your hands is a RAVER thats right a RAVER
linux is a very good program faster that windows and a hell of a lot less bugs
amd make beter processers
and you did how many days of research



 
OmFg (none / 0) (#3513)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:45:27 PM PST
This is a funniest thing i ever read in my live. this is the best joke i ever seen forawhile. you gotta be the funniest guy. STFU NIGGERS(not racist you newbies). arent you guys glad that NiP won the cs tourney at cpl. kthx fucktards
/server irc.gamesnet.net
/j #domainofgames


 
Wow (none / 0) (#3514)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:52:34 PM PST
I have never seen a bigger pile of mis-information in my life. Do any of you even own computers?

Simply ignore the original article, it is not even worthy of an intellegent responce, and I feel truely sorry for this idiot's poor son, I shudder to think what it would be like to live with an overbearing blowhard who had no idea what he was doing like you sir, you need to at least have SOME clue about the subject before you go and start "hacking" away at your keyboard.

You should be ashamed of yourself for this filth.

Of course I've never been here before, this is probably a joke article and I'm making a fool of myself being serious about it :P


 
Don't you know anything?? (none / 0) (#3516)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:55:29 PM PST
I mean! Don't you know that Flash is the best hacking program out there???
You guys don't know shit!
This guy is a geniuse!

And pigs don't really fly, they just jump real high!

Jeeesh!


 
Uh. (none / 0) (#3517)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:02:20 PM PST
I sort of worry about the people who think this article is real [kudos to the writer, I personally think it's hilarious =P]. I worry more if the article IS real, which I hope it isn't.

Ever get the feeling when people are so stupid it makes you want to cry? Does anyone else feel my pain at these posts?


 
huh? (none / 0) (#3518)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:03:12 PM PST
Quoth Vegeta: "Is this some kind of joke?!"

I think there is really not much more to be said. Just about everything that could be said, has been. So do you live in a cave, or a hole? And in what state? Because I would like to avoid that area so I don't run into this magical Bonzai Buddy. He might pop-up on my screen one day and give me a, what do you call it? Virus? And I better switch over to AOL so I am limited to few things, and get the "best" lag of anyone. And if you think AOL will protect your son, if he is your child, then you are wrong. The only thing AOL will prove, is if he is a hacker or not. Because if he is, there will be no parental contols. All I have to say about your son is, poor kid.

In conclusion, get a life, get a job, get a home, get a dog, get a real ISP, get a real computer, and get a woman.



Very true. (none / 0) (#3769)
by Dark Hawk on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 01:14:30 PM PST
AOL cannot limit anyone who is good with computers to anything, if your son is a true hacker, the "restrictions", if you would like to call them that, that AOL has set down would mean nothing to him. I have met quite a few hackers who run off of AOL, for one reason or another (Such as thats the only way they can get onto a faster connection at the time), and alot of the hackers i have met do not run off of AMD, and they do all their hacking fine.

Just a comment to the guy who wrote the initial story about his son being a hacker. You must be a big WindowsXP fan, I mean with that its pretty hard to rip software and what not (Unless you know which dll's and what not to delete.) Well Enjoy your WindowsXP, and GAYOL.

- Dark-Hawk


 
hahahaha (none / 0) (#3520)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:07:57 PM PST
ROTFLMGDMFAO!!!!!!!!
Thats the funniest thing i have ever read!


 
My Dad, the "Hacker" (none / 0) (#3522)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:25:39 PM PST
OK, first off AMD is a subsidiary of TEXAS Instruments so I have no clue where he got third-world company from. Second, my Dad has purchased an AMD computer recently. I guess that makes him a hacker by this retard's logic. I think everyone could go on and on about this insane piece of opinion, but let's just leave it at this; person is a moron and should be removed from the gene pool. I also believe that his son should ask for the leash to be removed from his butt.


 
Dam yo, spolen like a true MORON (none / 0) (#3524)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:31:26 PM PST
Heres a hint mr. AMD = hacker ship. WHy dont you check thier stock and compare it to "American INTEL". AMD , INTL. Its morons like you who should be banned from computers



 
Jeebus... can i stop laughing now or what (none / 0) (#3525)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:45:23 PM PST
Hooly fucknuts... whats goin onhere... am I going to be attacked by the killer lunix? are the amd's going to run me down!!!!TEEHEEheehehahdhahha ahhahha fuck... jeebus is all i have to say, christ even i do more research on a topic b4 i publish it... and thats not much... if your son is using comet curser to hack jeez where may i send the award. and Flash... thats coo too.. what bout that stupid little purple monky u call bonzai buddy.. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
*falls outa chair....*
HEHEHEHHEHE *oww*... jeez... may i speel moron for u? its spelled... M. O. R. O . N. N.... lunix.. teehee christ...


 
OMG!!!! (none / 0) (#3528)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:53:06 PM PST
holy shit
u cock smokin, monkey fuckin, mother fucker
ur the most physchopathic person i have ever seen
holy shit
KILL UR SELF
AMD is the best...thats y people get it
dumb shit
u actually took this time...to post this...u fuckin moron


 
wow. (none / 0) (#3529)
by La Pica de Maynardo on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:54:16 PM PST
Personally if I were your son I would be doing these things just to bug the living hell out of you. The "hacking" programs you listed are just normal programs that a lot of people (who are not hackers) have. I think the way your son is acting is just his way of saying "Leave me the hell alone!" There's also this little thing called puberty. I didn't catch how old your "hacker" son was but this could also be a problem. You seem to want to promote fear of all things different and wish that the world would be close minded. Stuff like that is what causes violence. If anything, people should be fearful of people like you coming into power and making the world into your own Neo-Nazi Earth.


 
LMFAO (none / 0) (#3531)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:01:53 PM PST
I gotta say this has been the funnyest piece of "literature" ever...made me laugh the whole day.. and YOU ARE AN ignorant idiot...commet cursor??? FUCK thats some lame ass shit you people write...and they should be right to get off your lazy ass aol'er ass and get a better ISP that doesn't spoon feed u. and if ur son is so god damn grown up...why not let him judge shit for himself give him some fuckin liberty to make his own decisions about the things he wants to learn...and furthermore....its spelled LINUX u moron and its a variation of UNIX the most used OS on the net. good one mate...you spiced up my life with a little DUMB humour....HHAHAHAHAHAH losers like u don't even diserve to use the net.



 
Stupid Fuck (none / 0) (#3532)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:07:19 PM PST
What kind of stupid fuck writes an article like this:
First of all you know knowthing about computers:
AMD is one of the best processor makers in the world.

You know nothing you Stupid Shit, I feel sorry for your kids who the worst father in the world who souldn't be allowed to raise kids. I can't believe that you think that "Comet Cursor" or "Bonzi Buddy" are hacking programs maybe you should learn to use a computer first.

Blitz


 
glowstick hackers (none / 0) (#3534)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:14:03 PM PST
LMFAO ... Man you musta fell right out a fucking american TV show man ... Thats some funny shit you just rolled off here ... I'm from London, UK and tend to Fart alot ... Would you consider me a hacker ... ? ehehehehe arggghhh help I cant stop laughing ... damnit I just ripped my pants, too much laughter man, Im coming looking to sue yer ass d00d =P


 
Hah. (none / 0) (#3535)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:14:57 PM PST
I hope you get hit by a car and die, at least it'll rid the world of one more stupid bastard. And If I met you in real life I feel it would be my patriotic duty to kick your stupid ass.



 
Uh-oh (none / 0) (#3539)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:22:51 PM PST
I guess I'm a hacker. I used to play quake, although now I have moved onto better games. I like to have a mind of my own and not be told what to do 24-7. I like LINUX as opposed to windows. I spend a lot of time on my computer but that is usually because I am writing 25-30 page term papers for my classes here at college. I wish I could find a hacking manual so then I could hack into the school data base and change some of my bad grades.
This is a joke and I would suggest that you let your son back onto the computer because obviously he knows more than you.


 
Haha!!! (none / 0) (#3540)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:23:01 PM PST
This HAS to be a JOKE, I don't belive anyone is THIS stupid! Come on Comet Cursor? You probably installed that your self you fucking moron! And the other programs are Spy Ware which you also probably installed your self cause you don't know anything about anything with computers. Plus AOL is probably the MOST "hackable" ISP.
Oh yeah and god forbid letting your son read Linux books, WTF? all your Son is doing is LEARNING and getting educated about computers. Linux is not a "Hackers" OS. I could go on but this is the most stupid post I have ever read in my life. If this person isn't joking then I would say let your son show you a thing or to and not be so damn closed minded and maybe you will know what the hell you're talking about.

Oh and one more thing, If your top 10 theroy is true then every person who has computer programmer, IT, and other computer related, jobs should be locked up for being hackers right? haha!


 
You are a dumb mother fucking queer dick sucker (none / 0) (#3544)
by Eden on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:29:36 PM PST
roflmfaofjasdfksldfjlsfj hahahahahah this is the dumbest and funniest thing ive ever read. your the fucking dumbest person in the world and you should hang yourself right now . oh and btw im a 1337 h4x0r and im going to h4x0r you with bonzi buddy that sends out corrupted flash movies that loads comet cursor on your pc to eras0r your hard driv0r your a faggot fuck you i hate you if i knew you in real life i would shoot you in the face with a bazooka and feed your remains to your slut wife and thne i would fuck her better than you ever could, get a life you cock sucking loser. Go check out a site i help run Here And post some shit there so we can all have a good laugh bahhaha


 
HAHAHAHA (none / 0) (#3547)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:35:44 PM PST
Quake used as a training ground for using guns.


 
Thank you (none / 0) (#3548)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:40:01 PM PST
First off i would like to say thank you to the writer of this fine article. On a day that would otherwise be dreary and uneventful i was given a wonderful gift. I was made to laugh so hard my mouth hurts and my chest is sore. WoW this was so good for my soul.

Well good luck to you writer getting along in this world you obviously no longer know anything. And to your son who i believe has a very bright future as long as he gets some balls and tell you to SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. God what a moron you are. And if your gonna talk about something atleast know what you are talking about, else you look like the idiot and trust me posting somehting like this on the internet, will make you a target and make you a retard.


 
Damn (none / 0) (#3550)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:42:00 PM PST
What a fuckin idiot.. lol lunix sounds like a damn moon and this fucker makes hackers sound like the right hand men of the freaking devil.. o well peeps these days.. lol i give props to the kid lol.. but it wasnt the computer that got his kid.. Its was his dads crack lol


 
El Retardo.. (none / 0) (#3551)
by PooPMaster on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:50:25 PM PST
Okay, Mr. Dumb Ass.. erm.. I mean.. Yeah, Dumb Ass, what are you even talking about????????? First of all "Lunix" is spelled Linux, and it's an "illegal rusian hacker server" It's an american server used by many companies.. Hell, George Lucas' company Indstrial Light and Magic uses it! They're by no means Hackers!!
And another thing.. AMD is not the bad guy.. A processor doesn't "blocking hacking material" it processes at a certain speed.. And Intel is the worse than AMD!! They call their processor a 1.4GHZ processor but yet it's slower than an AMD 1GHZ processor.. you know why.. BECAUSE THEY MAKE THEIR PROCESSORS TO HOLD BACK!!! Do your homework b4 you say stupid stuff!!


 
What a Crock (none / 0) (#3552)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:52:57 PM PST
all this post is about is blastfamy. I am a MCSE and work as a network engineer. does this make me a Hacker? this article sure does. i read all the hacker stuff to PROTECT myself and my company from so called hackers. there are 2 types of hackers, wannabies and pro's. wannabies pass around trojans and vbs scripts and try and trick you. pro's, you'll never even know they are there. these pro's are too busy with large businesses and govt site to bother with petty persons.

your hacking hardware and software guide is really sad.
AMD is a reptuable processor vendor that the large businesses use, like Gateway, Compaq and HP. you saying these ppl are hackers?

how is it that asking to buy a new video card is being hacker? with hardware prices dropping dramitically over the years, the game and software programmers are free to not constrict ther products to be as small as possible. they can mae them biig and with increasingly great graphics. hacking programs are usually DOS like programs or very small utilities. not games like quake and unreal

Linux, Unix and all flavors of the program are used all over the world as stable NETWORKING operating systems. and they are the operating systems that RUN the internet and other large businesses like our GOVT and others.

before you go out and blast the entire computer world and saying all do more referencing and looking up stuff. dont take for granted thatyour son wans a matrox and a new processor, that the hardware he chose is hacker hardware.
you are a very missinformed shithead that should be watching what you kid does and not blame the internet for your parental failings.


 
=P (none / 0) (#3553)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:54:53 PM PST
this is sad, im not even gonna waste my time, this is gotta be a joke =P


 
Everything He said was true! (none / 0) (#3554)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:55:42 PM PST
But He forgot the most important telltale sign that your child is involved in "HACKING"

HORNS AND A TAIL

The whole artical was as useful as wet matches in a dark cave.

Can't help but wonder how many people are so nieve as to read that Bull and believe even one word.


 
wow (none / 0) (#3556)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:58:02 PM PST
This could be the funniest damn thing i have ever read. I just hope no one takes it seriously and no one meant it seriously, because if they did, well. That person would be a completely ignorant person.


 
Hacking (none / 0) (#3558)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:02:14 PM PST
I hear these "hackers" also invented this box with computer chips in it. you can connect various "hacking" devices to it. like a "hacking" television screen, which allows then to view the data they "hacked". they can also input commands via a special "hacking" board with 101 keys, each containing a special "hacking command", so when they press them they can "hack".
some "hackers" are real advanced so they use another special device. its a small semi-round box with three buttons, so when you click the buttons you "hack"! some of these machines are also very powerful mind controllers. they can control your brain and tell you things to do.
Sir, you probably make a great father for the 21st Century, but I think its best if you get back into your time machine and "hack" your way back to the 8th Century.


you Dumb fu*k!


 
RETARD (none / 0) (#3560)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:04:04 PM PST
You got to be the stupidest mother on the net probally one of the fools i have a trojan on and a victim of my botnet. Get a fu*ken brain fool
If you can figure out what mirc is come look me up so i can show you some real pain.
irc.dal.net


 
father/author of article = terrorist (none / 0) (#3561)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:04:05 PM PST
Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net.
translation: Peter is good at finding free porno
I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises.
translation: One of my hobbies is looking at teen girls at teen parties.
I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary.
translation: I love to be spanked, this is not a viable punishment.
i could go on because i am a hacker, you can tell because i used HTML, i love Aphex Twin, sometimes i don't go to bed till after 11:00!!!, and i'm not a girl (yeah i'm a pro-hacker).
if this is for real, then i truly do feel sorry for the 6 children that are parented by this fool. no doubt they have all been raised to behave and think like this 'person', and thus their lives have ruined. may god have mercy on this 'fathers' forsaken soul


 
HACKER??? (none / 0) (#3562)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:07:10 PM PST
HMMM.... CHANGE IN APPEARANCE EH?

I SPRAYPAINTED MY PUBES GREEN DOES THAT MAKE ME A HACKER???


 
Spanking your kid...? (none / 0) (#3563)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:07:28 PM PST
Dude, this is one of the funniest sites I have been to in a looooong time. I'm still laughing it off. What kind of a moron spanks his fifteen year old kid? Hell, what kind of a moron gives said fifteen year old kid a brand-new computer without first even monitoring what he does on it? Whatever dumbass wrote this article needs to look in the mirror 'fore he goes and slams his kid for activities he was totally in power to prevent from happening in the first place. And what's more, if this person lives in Utah, I fear for everyone there about to welcome the world to its doorstep. This person needs to be put in a burlap sack and beaten like a red headed stepchild, then quarantined from the rest of the world. Either that, or his fifteen year old oughta be given a few minutes with him in a room. What's more, the dude oughta go out and slam every damn gaming network, IE StarCraft, among many others, 'fore he goes and slams one alone. But, being blinded as I'm sure he is by whatever cult brainwashed his mind, free thinking is a thing of the past Whatever the case, whoever wrote this article is in serious need of help...and quick


 
my view's, (none / 0) (#3564)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:14:25 PM PST
DUHHHHHHH

DUUHHHHHH

You-stupid-idiot-fool-moron-DUHHHHHH

"YOU ARE SADLY THE WORLDS BIGGEST IDIOT."

p.s my AMD chip is hacking your computer so that i can steal your bank details using a hack program you dont know of... Windows.... now that IS a hack program......


 
This has got to be a joke (none / 0) (#3568)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:32:23 PM PST
This article has got to be a joke like www.onion.com or something. I dont care how old this Mr. Gibbons is, his mistakes cannot be overlooked. Mr. Gibbons, with all due respect, I would recommend that you do more research on haxors (the "hackers" you worry about your son becoming one of) (hackers do good ,haxors do bad) for you own safety and peace of mind on the internet. A concerned parent who wants to keep his son/ daughter from becoming a haxor should at least know something about the internet,PCs, or programs or at least be able to admit it when they do not know. I recommend that you more research. The AOL parental protection can likely be undone by your son or one of his friends. Also, most good secret programs hide themselves from the "Add/Remove Programs Menu" in Windows. You can use a secret keylogger program to keep a watch on your son. He may be able to detect this though, but it might help. That's all I have to say, Mr. Gibbons. -A Concerned College Student


 
dear god (none / 0) (#3570)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:49:15 PM PST
This is the biggest peice of white trash, american, hillbilly, uneducated peice of BULLSHIT i have ever heard in my fucking life! WHat the hell is wrong with u! AMD is a sign of a hacker? HEY BUDDY IS WANTING A BETTER CAR A SIGN OF A CAR JACKER TOO?!??!?! YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON


 
Your stupid comments (none / 0) (#3571)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:51:35 PM PST
A link to this page was brought to my attention, and i just had to reply;

I am a parent and a Network Administrator.

Your comments, err, rant has got to be the biggest display of ignorance i've seen on the net in MONTHS. Someone should have filtered your posting as to prevent the growth of ignorance you bring. I hope parents and readers all know that you have 0 (zero) computer knowledge whatsoever. We call it "talking out your ass" I hope your good little boy reads this as you've unfairly punished him. I have yet to see any signs of anything other than you've taken away the tool your boy needs to get a good career going for himself. Your next step is to let him use the computer and maybe even sit yourself down and take the time to understand what you think you've already figured out.

1.Get him the videocard, he wants to play quake.
2.Get him the harddrive, he wants to download lotsa stuff.
3.CHANGE ISP's AOL SUCKS
4.Get a hobby, you're already a good dad if you care this much.
5.Make sure Santa brings him some RAM too.





 
My Thoughts on Hackers (none / 0) (#3574)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:56:02 PM PST
Hello man, grow up and step outside. This article you posted may be cool and all, but you are far from the truth. I feel you must have picked up a book on hacking by microsoft, cause I see no referance to how MS OS is bad at all. Unless you are not totally computer literate, youd understand that MS is far from perfect. Not only does it lag/hang/mess up your computer at time, but it is a walking security leak. THe best thing MS has is WIN2K which I use. I am a MCSE for MS in WIN2K Server DHCP and also have my CCNA. I am only 18 and you know why i have these and make over 115K a year? Its called when I was in HS 10th grade to be exact, I was introduced to what you call hacking. Actually I dont hack, I code. Telnet is yes partly used to connect and hack, but it is also used to connect to servers to run maintanence and also used to program switches and routers. If you dont know what these are, these are the hardware you ISP (aol persay) use to connect to the WAN, or Internet. As for Linux, you may be partially right, but Linux is open code, and free. It is the only free program where your son can write code create programs and not spend 500bucks for MS Visual Studio 6. All Im saying is that you should think about what you post. THe impression I get from you is you are some type of religious freq who greq up w/o a telephone and now since you were not raised by it you are afraid. Its perfectly understandable, but you should not be this paranoid. Maybe when you were growing up the only way to make a dime was to work in the Steel Mill, but now we have something call Silicon. Used to create Processors, which inturn are all over the world. Everything you do/can do is recoded on computers. Computers have taken us so far into the future it not even funny. Program like Telnet Linux and Flash are not bad. In fact think about this. Cisco uses a flash engine to teach it curriculum. Oh no guess what, now I know how to do stuff where you, you pick up a book, get freaked, and go pay money you dont need to waste to get something fixed. How about you spend more the 4 or 5 days reading, and actually see what your son was doing? Maybe he learned how to C code and wanted to make a program like MS word that might help the world and you know what you just did? YOu said, "Hey son, I know you have worked hard to get where you are, but since I am scared and I dont know what you are doing, I am gonna take the chance you have at making 3-4 times what I do and your gonna come to work with me next week." Thats flappy and you know it.


 
Hacking Article Comments... (none / 0) (#3575)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 08:59:05 PM PST
Trolling is not tolerated here. Any comment may be deleted by a site admin, and all trolls will be deleted. This is your fair warning.

first off, wtf is "trolling"

secondly, this article is total bs. Quake is a hacker meeting place so they can discuss hacking and learn to use guns? wtf?!? Lunix is a hacker program? Well, since lunix is EXTREMELY better than Windows, i guess all the morons out there who don't know how to type file extensions would be scared of it like they would a "hacking prog".

i don't know who wrote this....but whoever did needs to be put on a pedestal, awarded a "stupidity" medal, THEN SHOT IN THE FUCKING FACE!!!

also, "mp3 program to steal music from someone else's radio" that statement alone confirms that the person who wrote this was either asleep through the whole napster vs. the music industry fiasco or frying hardcore, so much that they drifted into another world where all this shit might make sence.

finally, closing this reply, i say this, if you are a parent and have read this article and believe in it's legitimacy, i suggest you take a pencil out, sharpen it, and shove it in your eye. You'd be better off sitting in a hospital waiting room holding the pencil steady, wondering what you'd look like in a jaunty eye patch. It'd be better than trying to convince your "computer hacking" son to stop. Oh and btw, if anyone who has ever hacked read this (like myself) knows that AOL isn't fucking hack proof. Ever hear of AOL Progies? Yea, thought so


 
Is this guy a retard? (none / 0) (#3576)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:03:02 PM PST
<b>Dude, you have some issues.<b>
First of all, how do the AMD processors let you "hack"? AMD make the best chips ever. You said Itell were "good", wrong. AMD make processors that are much cheaper and better than Itell. eg. Itell make a 1.4 GHz processor, AMD make a 1.2GHz processor, the AMD out preforms the Itell chip in 9/10 casses, and at a much cheaper price.
I think you should have done a bit more research before you decided to slander companies which you know very little about!


No you are a retard ..... (none / 0) (#6296)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jan 14th, 2002 at 04:37:20 AM PST
for not having the intelligence to see that this is a joke....


 
Model Parent my arse... (none / 0) (#3579)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:27:13 PM PST
Jesus... I don't even know where to begin, so I won't...


 
Parents Like You Should Be Shot (none / 0) (#3580)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:31:51 PM PST
do you have no knowledge of what a computer is? do you not know the basic priciples behind how a computer works? is there a gram of knowledge of computer software or the internet in that crazy mixed-up head of yours?

you obviously have no idea what you are babbling about and you are twisting the views of people with your little fairy-tale.

get your facts correct first of all, you cant go around making up statements just because you heard the words somewhere. dont go around spewing out this crapola.

actually, forget about it. keep posting your outlandish stories. your son will be robbed of the gift of technology because you think that his interest has turned into something sinister. your son will be left behind in our ever changing society. your son wont have the same basic advantages that technology supplies us with. and you know what? its all your fault. there is no one else to blame sir, just yourself.


meh (none / 0) (#3814)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 05:56:15 PM PST
good one Anonymous, good one


 
*HRK* You're serious, aren't you... (none / 0) (#3581)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:33:29 PM PST
Ok, I'm not going to go itno the deep parts, as it would take me FAR to long, but...

Hackers tend to wear dar-glo clothing and glo-stiks? my arse... thats ravers, not hackers. Most ravers are to fried to be successful hackers, anyway. I should know... I'm a rather avid raver.
(Oh, and the pacafiers are to prevent lockjaw, from certian "trips")

Otaku... a hacker ring? Laugh... thats an anime ring, some may be hackers, but most aren't.

Computer radition causes disorders... get real! So, what you're saying is... that professionals that are on computers all day are insane? Methinks no... mabey on an OLD style monitor, they may be some rad emission, but not enough to do any seriosu harm...

Theres a saying...
"Best to keep your mouth shut, and look the part of a fool, than to open it, and prove you're that fool.: (Or something along those lines)


 
Can I Kick HIm in The Nuts? (none / 0) (#3589)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:51:41 PM PST
This guy is suck a fucking dumbass. I'd kick him in the balls, if he were a man.


 
Hackers rock! (none / 0) (#3593)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:55:43 PM PST
this is the stupidest thing i have read in areally long time!


 
lame article (none / 0) (#3602)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:19:19 PM PST
Ok. This is by far the worst article i've seen in ages..
for one.. Insmell and Mikeysoft aka wintell are the worst things for a kid..

Geeeeeeez let a kid be a kid.. and don't be a darn dictator..

your too funny.. what if the parent only has a girl.. is she exempt? what if she has a dac alpha chip running linux.. what if her parents are M.I.T. Professors? are the parents introuble again.. When the son or daughter.. wants to buy a FORGIGN CAR!!.. when there 18?
do the parents call the feds when the kid says.. no.. mommy.. I want a Playstation 2..not an X-BOX.. XBOXES ARE CRAP!!



What if the parents adopt a child that has a 300iq?

what if the child.. just likes to write there own programs.. as shareware.. quick.. call mikeysoft and let them buy them out.. no more free enterprise..

What if the kid designed a cooler cpu.. quick call insmell... aka intel.. and lock that kid up for failure to be a borg!!

hahahahhahahha
btw are u like.. one of those parnoid people that listens to rush limbuah?




 
Well......... (none / 0) (#3607)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:43:57 PM PST
A few things to think of.....

AMD doesnt use child labor in sweat shops to make there cpus. The fact your child wants one means that they now realized that AMD makes just as good as chips as Intel but you will save about 20-60 dollars. And the fact that AMD has out beat Intel in numerous test by PCworld.

Quake is a video game. What makes you think its a online virtual reality room?

If your son wants to change from AOL i dont think anyone blames him. Not only is AOL a rip off but it ant understand javascript, its slow as hell and it trys to trap you into its on links and sites.


 
Giving you a taste of my Polish sausage... (none / 0) (#3608)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:44:20 PM PST
Well, as a proud 14 year old parent, I will make sure my son does not invect the internet with the miasmic, hacker stench like I have, and make sure he becomes something more <i>respectable</i>, like a drug dealer, or a mobster.

I am on for longer than 45 minutes, usually. My computer is one big, fast, quality mo-fo, I dumped AOL for cable a while ago (and it's because it is a "crappy" ISP. Kick you off, slower than hell, etc.), I listen to techno, and I think Quake is a great game. I'd also like to inform you that I have a 3.7 GPA, am taking all accelerated courses, love to argue (don't take Speech & Debate class for nothing!), and I play football (Tight End). And my parents aren't <i>nearly</i> as strict as you are. They give me a lot of freedom in what I do (only been grounded once for making a hole in the wall, and my dad and I have actually exchanged stories of getting drunk before), and I've turned out great. Don't judge others for your short comings.


 
Dear Mr Elby (none / 0) (#3609)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:46:26 PM PST
...

You sir, are quite possibly the most sexist prat I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. I happen to be female (just in case your peanut brain hasn't registered this by now), and you know what? Well, I can hack. I have taught myself this skill within the past two years as a precaution against other hackers. I did not, do not and will never "follow in the footsteps" of any other.

Believe me, Elby, females can be just as good as (and are often better than) their male counterparts in this industry. Please, refrain from being so God-damn prejudicial in the future. It is people like you who are taking equal-rights movements back 50 years...

And as for you, T Reginald: Where on Earth did you learn this trash? Comet Cursor and Macromedia Flash are hacking programs? Right, and Willy Wonka was an evil genius who used his chocolate to control the minds of children everywhere. *rolls eyes in exasperation*


 
stoopid muthafuc|{ers! (none / 0) (#3610)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:49:36 PM PST
POINT ONE:
if i see another cunt explain what quake is or that lunix is spelt linux i am goin to slit my wrists.

POINT TWO:

I hate Windows
I hate MACos
I hate the Media
I hate Script kiddies
I hate Cops
But i hate you fuc|{ers even more


double_helix
doublehelix_nz@hotmail.com


 
OH PLEASE (none / 0) (#3616)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:35:51 PM PST
Man if you had a brain you would be dangerous i qoute: If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips :::: HAHAHAHA man that is some funny stuff i Run an AMD WOops now i must be a HAcker Geee of and last week i purchased a faster video card now was it for hacking or was it for Actualy sitting down and playing my new game Called NEED FOR SPEED lol........... MAn i pitty your poor children ... and to think that only Men have the brains to do this well i can tell you 30% of your "LEGAL" software From "MICROSOFT" is written by a Female.... and most of the "FEMALES" have more skills than a Hacker that you think your talking about. MAte all i can say is that the day that your house got the internet we all Laught our butts off and then LOL again..... man in clossing


YOUR A LOOSER YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO HAVE ACCESS TO THE NET AS YOUR ARE INDANGERING YOUR SELF....


((((as a note to everyone that is about to read this i wonder how mean people would actualy like to hack this nancie and see him shake in his boots))))



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