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My brain feels
Moist 6%
Fuzzy 6%
Steeled, as if for battle 25%
Focused, razor-like, on the True Path 0%
Like that spinning thing at Six Flags 12%
Normal, only more so 31%
Horny 18%

Votes: 16

 Join the Initiative for Software Choice

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Aug 09, 2002
At Click Here, you can join an industry-wide initiative to keep software choice open and free, to hamper the rabid discrimination towards viral free software that cripples the American commercial software industry.

I've signed up myself, Juán Esólutions, my wife Enriqa, and my skull-conjoined twin sons, Pepsì and Arcì. The whole Esólutions organization, a humble Guatemalen farm, has learned about software choice the hard way.


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Take this morning, for example. I rose at dawn, the light streaming through our thatched roof onto my lovely wifeita. How lovely she looked.

The cool forest air of the mountain morning filled my lungs with a joy that reminds me of memories distant past. This was freedom! This was software freedom.

I stepped outside into the dawn, a thin smoke rising from my nudity. My conjoined twin sons were already playing outside, running in the flipping cartwheel that only twins joined at the top of the skull can do.

"Hello, little ones!" I called joyously in elder Guatemalen (an archaic but beautiful tongue my bride and I speak to our children in.) "What a software day it is, you agree not?"

But before they could answer through their giggling merriment, I saw danger down on the mountain! It was one of those damned guerrilas, a soldier from a splinter group of the FARC that has wandered off from their Colombian motherland, lead by a charismatic American colonel named Curtis or something, whom these FARC worship like a god, listening to his half-baked poetry and military theories.

This guerilla was dressed in a female baboon skin, the aroused blue ass seeming green in the golden sunlight. He carried a severed head in one hand -- my neighbor, Ricardo Busìnessweek, a friend since childhood -- and a weapon fashioned from a straight razor and cow's jawbone in the other.

Pepsì! Arcì! I screamed. The filthy godless guerilla swiped at my twins, right at the point where their skulls joined -- but luckily my little childrenitas heard my naked cry and spun up into the air, a twisting windmill fury like a kalidescope in the sun.

Have at you! I said, descending on the FARC like a Guatemalean Apollonian fury, golden and terrible. See here, then!

From his flesh we made a bounty of steaks. How my boys enjoyed their breakfast! How they spun delightedly in their gyro-chair, savouring the taste of conquest!

And that, my friends, is why Software Choice is important. Sign up today!


Sir, (none / 0) (#3)
by jvance on Sat Aug 10th, 2002 at 01:17:51 AM PST
you wouldn't happen to have any home movies of your sons in full cartwheeling gallop, would you? I think that is something I would very much like to see!

Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

Elder Guatemalen is not an archaic language (none / 0) (#5)
by roundabout midnight on Sat Aug 10th, 2002 at 01:35:12 PM PST
It simply doesn't exist. I presume you mean Pre-Columbian, a creole version of the official Portuguese.
It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

Hogwash. (none / 0) (#6)
by RobotSlave on Sat Aug 10th, 2002 at 08:01:20 PM PST
Look, it's not the best-known language, even in academic circles, but the fact that you've never heard of it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Next you'll be trying to tell us that head-joined siamese twins can't run in the flipping cartwheel. As if.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

What a lovely tale. (none / 0) (#7)
by because it isnt on Sat Aug 10th, 2002 at 08:36:10 PM PST
I am very impressed by your article, particularly by the flexibility of your sons. Could you possibly loan them to me for my circus next week? The acrobat has a gammy leg.

I do hope you will also support the Thinking Of The Children (Software) campaign, which promises to save children from tigers and cold things by getting businesses to donate money to Microsoft. -- because it isn't

Good for you (none / 0) (#8)
by First Incision on Sun Aug 11th, 2002 at 09:11:19 PM PST
I am glad to see a busy father like yourself taking time to be a part of his sons' life. It is a welcome contrast to some of the people on this site.

I have one question. Do Pepsi and Arci fight over who gets to read Adequacy? How do you settle these disagreements?
Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.


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