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 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Aug 03, 2002
Due to the extreme growth found in the technology sector, our corporate board felt it was time to enter the 21st century.

We are posting our new web site for peer review. Please comment.


More diaries by Martino Cortez PhD
Good Morning Nobile Sirs
Dearest Adequacy Readors
Deor Adequecy Readers
Martin-Cortez Newsletter, Issue 1 v I
Martin-Cortez Newsletter - Issue 2, Vol I
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 3, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 4, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 5, Vol 1
Dear Anonymous Reader Sir,
Help Save Me!!!
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 5, Vol 1.
Dr William King Sir,
Martin Cortez Newsletter
Good Evening Dear Sirs,
Sir, Wherefore art thou adequate?
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Dear Sirs,
Mr. Milosovic Sir,
A plea from a busy corporate executive
Dear Sirs,


big problem (none / 0) (#1)
by foon on Sat Aug 3rd, 2002 at 07:34:28 PM PST
I couldn't help but notice that your inter-web site appears to be running Lunix. I apologize if the Net Craft site is in error, and you are in fact running Apache on a high-quality commercial version of Unix. However, if you are using Lunix, I would consider upgrading to a more secure and reliable commercial operating system. Also, you should make sure that you are not left behind by the industry-wide move to the .NET framework, which will bring web applications into the 20th century. Otherwise the site appears very fine, the common background tones in the picture of the building and the fiber optic strands lead to a very inviting and professional appearance.

Foon Sir, (none / 0) (#2)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sat Aug 3rd, 2002 at 07:51:16 PM PST
I thank you for your commentary. We are currenty outsourcing our inter-web development and the specifics of our advanced web server is not on my list of agendas. I advised these lads to make my inter-web server the most secure and advanced on the market. If this is not the case, I will have to fire these young web designers.
<p>Again, thank you for the commentary, and I thank you for visiting <a href="">MartinCortez.COM</a>. I await any further security advice you have to offer.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Good idea. (none / 0) (#3)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Aug 3rd, 2002 at 08:33:51 PM PST
Mr. Foon is undoubtedly one of the best professionnal in the IT industry. His advices are always accurate. I love particularly the idea to bring your business into the 20th century. Do it before it's too late.

Retro is in nowadays. (none / 0) (#4)
by tkatchev on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 12:26:19 AM PST
Very fashionable, no?

Peace and much love...

Wow. (none / 0) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 12:50:44 AM PST
Let's see. No contact information. No case studies. No samples.

I like the mention of the "Marin Cortez" family, and it looks like someone paid a visit to the Web Economy Bullshit Generator

On a completely unrelated note, (none / 0) (#6)
by because it isnt on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 03:57:17 AM PST
can anyone tell me where Bob Abooey's home-page is these days? -- because it isn't

Comments (3.66 / 3) (#7)
by The Mad Scientist on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 04:38:32 AM PST
Nice and simple. Best viewed in any browser. Something that isn't common in the Age of Bloat.

"Real" content is missing - as someone here mentioned, no case studies, no documentation. But for a "design in progress", it is still better than a blank page with "under development".

I'd have a few of comments to the actual design. But it was quicker to just prepare an example how to do it right; check - the changes are just slight and in just a few tags (BASE, converting absolute to relative sizes in TABLE and some TD, adding DIV with align=justify). The tweaked design adapts better to various screen sizes; not everyone has 800x600 (and even then, it was wider than the screen anyway, as there are scroll bars and default margins).

Dont visit that hacker's site! (none / 0) (#8)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 09:42:54 AM PST
I did and my hard disk light started to flash for almost an hour. I am preparing myself for the worst. God knows what his poisoned Active-XHTML codes did to my box. He probably queried my browser for all sorts of personal information such as my list of bookmarks for sites to hack, love letters to masturbate over, and my email address. I fully expect to start receiving large amounts of SPAM from illegal gay sex sites, as well as newsletters and requests for donations from the Ayn Rand Institute. Look carefully at the URL - it is anonymous! Legitimate sites are accountable by name. Finally, by copying Dr. Cortez's site without making any visible improvement, he is guilty of the worse sort of copyright infringement. If you download his site to your browser, you will become an accessory to an intellectual thought crime!

Repeat: The Mad Scientist's link is known as a "sticky honey jar," an intentionally misleading name for "trap."

Illegal gay sex sites. (none / 0) (#9)
by because it isnt on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 10:52:00 AM PST
With the glut of smut that the Internet has given birth to, web-perverts are now tired of regular gay sex sites. Many of these pornophiles are now turning to the new website.

"It's not the homosexual nature of the sex that gets my customers horny, it's the illegality" says site owner Patrick Fitzgerald. "All our films are shot in locations with strict, intolerant anti-gay laws, like Saudi Arabia, Iran and Texas."

But what does the hairy-handed surfer get for his money? Patrick tells us "for $6.95 a month you can get access to our basic collection which is growing at 6 films a month, and for $19.95 a month you get our premium service, which has the same films as the basic subscription, but includes the full detainment, sentencing and jail-time. For acts committed in defiance of Sharia law we also include the public flogging, which should please everybody".

So what do the punters think? We asked some of the site's best customers why they keep on coming back. "It's all about the brutal bludgeoning of the Law by the pork sword of Tolerance", says Lord Justice Montoya, who asked not to be named. "If I had these fellows up in my court on buggery charges, I'd have them put away for great lengths. Er, great lengths of time." -- because it isn't

Fear not. (none / 0) (#11)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 04:34:15 PM PST
The page referenced, which is indeed a very obvious lure set out in an attempt to (illegally) gather information about the readership, may be safely viewed via an anonymizing address-conduit, like so. This, unto itself, is not terribly interesting.

What's more fun is exploring the rest of the syrup-cauldron anonymously, whereby we eventually learn that the trap, while hosting some material itself (including files that purport to be illegal copies of Microsoft operating systems, but are probably just trojan-horse attacks), is mostly a copy of materials on a named site belonging to a Dean Koontz character.

While some might conclude that we have thus moved a step closer to identifying our beloved crackpot, it is far more likely, given the hasty, careless implementation of the "honey-pot," that we have merely discovered the usenet-denizen upon whom our erstwhile crackpot is based.

Then again, the Koontz character and the crackpot might be one and the same after all, in which case we are looking at a slightly more elaborate ruse, a fiction which has been under construction for a little more than a year.

Sir, (none / 0) (#10)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 11:43:36 AM PST
I thank you for making my page viewable for those with more expensive computers.

As you know, it is hard to generate content for such a large corporation. If you, or anybody has any more "content" to add to this website - feel free to mention it here.

If people do mention "serious" content, I would like to ask the editors to delete this diary when we are done creating this website for DMCA reasons, of course.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Madam, (none / 0) (#12)
by faustus on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 06:23:16 PM PST
The best part is the fiber optics picture. I trust people who know all about fiber optics, and HTML.

--You seem to be suffering from a liberal-arts education.

Sir, (none / 0) (#13)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Aug 4th, 2002 at 09:29:25 PM PST
You are correct - the picture of fiber optics is to instill a sense of trust in our consumers. I thank you for having the intelligance to realise this.

PS: You must realise that my name is Martino. If you spoke a more cultured and refined language such as spanish, you would know this.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Mister (none / 0) (#14)
by Juan Fernandez on Mon Aug 5th, 2002 at 01:35:44 AM PST
You must be joking. Spanish is my mother language and I'm ashamed about that. The fact that Cervantes killed Shakespeare before commiting suicide (check both writers' date of death if you can't find any article on the web about this well known story) only demonstrates how jealous Spaniards were when they realized English supremacy, even in the very peak of the Spanish cultural empire. Spanish-spoken people have always been mortified by envy about the fact that English is by far a more widely spoken language and also because all the really importan stuff (medical research, technical documentation, etc) is written in English.
You just have to take a peek to my posts: when I used to post on Spanish weblogs (in Spanish, of course) I felt sad and small, my writings were crap. But now, since I found this marvellous Language the quality of my literature has dramatically improved, words flow from inside myself. It is like if some merciful God noticed the harm Spanish language inflicted to my mental processes after so many years of using it and finally given me a remedy: a real, rich, robust and reliable OS, errr I mean language, like English.

Request for Bid (none / 0) (#16)
by KingAzzy on Wed Aug 7th, 2002 at 04:06:50 PM PST
Dr. Cruz,

I would like you to please submit a bid for a full service consulting contract to assist our company in leveraging our white space as Wal-Mart did using divergent thought process analysis and progressive determination methodologies.

We will require an onsite staff in our Beverly Hills offices fully equipped with busty (but not implant) Scandanavian and French supermodels who can be available for late night shifts as well.

I trust you and your organization will respond with a very attractive bid.

Thank you in advance,

Sir King Azzy (none / 0) (#17)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Wed Aug 7th, 2002 at 05:23:14 PM PST
Thank you for the interest in Martin-Cortez Corporation. As the leader in asset management, I hope we can synergetically leverage the vital business found in back end peer to business transactions. I will have my administrative assistants send a faximile to the number you have requested.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Where is this building? (none / 0) (#15)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Aug 5th, 2002 at 06:57:35 AM PST
The building in the pciture looks stunning, would you mind giving me the name of your architect?


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