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What should Ernest do in San Antonio?
Kill him or her self. 21%
Forget the Alamo. 0%
Drink heavily. 28%
Learn to ride a unicycle. 0%
Not tell Adequacy about it. 0%
Buy a large hat and some spurs. 14%
Solve the "Rubik's cube" puzzle. 35%
Rejoice in the diversity of humanity. 0%

Votes: 14

 Remember the Alamo!

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Aug 11, 2002
But then what?

Is it a controversial city?


More diaries by Ernest Bludger
America - quite unwell?
A World Cup Feast
Einstein was wrong/Beam me up
Dear Readers, I have an upcoming (work) trip to (amongst other places) San Antonio, Texas, home to the Alamo. I know that there have been recent floods in S.A. (surely a sign from the Lord). I have heard that San Antonio is a city that has a unique blend of Southern hospitality, cosmopolitan flair, Old West charm and modern sophistication.

However it's not clear exactly what San Antonio has to offer. Any local advice welcomed.

I'll be sure to let you know if I see Jin W. there.


You've been misled (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by zikzak on Sun Aug 11th, 2002 at 07:44:39 PM PST
Southern hospitality

That's a deep south thing, not a Texas thing.

cosmopolitan flair


Old West charm

Only if you consider a sea of strip malls flanking the city's one historical claim to fame to be "old" and "charming".

modern sophistication

No again.

What you will find:
  • 1 kitschy river walk where everything is expensive and the atmosphere is equal parts yuppie and Disney.
  • Dozens of run down cantinas serving cheap but tasty Tex-Mex border food.
  • Thousands of fat Mexican metal heads wearing Slayer T-shirts.
  • A decaying urban core that has the squalor of a North East industrial city without the intrinsic charm
  • Hectares upon hectares of suburban hell,
  • One really nifty elevated highway interchange that zips near buildings so closely you can touch them, which then descends into an almost equally nifty depressed section of roadway.

  • Have fun!

    Profoundly misled * (none / 0) (#2)
    by Ernest Bludger on Sun Aug 11th, 2002 at 08:11:11 PM PST
    Bloody hell. Looks like I'll have a blast, then. Thanks for the advice. Luckily my hotel has an executive suite; pool and gymnasium, and, most importantly for an international visitor, cable.

    * Profoundly misled: a current favourite phrase in Orstraya following its use by Lachlan (son of Rupert) Murdoch, in explaining how he managed to blow a lazy half a billion of his old man's money they had invested in a stupid mobile telecommunications company that seemingly had no realistic business model or billing system.

    This was the move by the young generation to show that they could cut it in the hurly-burly corporate world. [James Packer, the son of Australia's richest man (Kerry) was also in on the play.] Rich, pampered fools.

    For some reason (none / 0) (#7)
    by Narcissus on Mon Aug 12th, 2002 at 10:31:31 AM PST
    your description of San Antonio, very accurate I must say, perfectly depicts what I think of when I imagine where Linux Zealot might live.

    Oh, and another point, finally someone points out that Texas can't be considered a true Southern state. I grew up partly in the DEEP south and partly here in Dallas and, for all that don't know, I have found that Texas' cities are nothing more than Chicago or New York with cowboy hats and more Mexicans, per capita.

    Ok, who picked the flower???

    Accurate assessment of San Antonio (none / 0) (#8)
    by KingAzzy on Mon Aug 12th, 2002 at 11:27:05 AM PST
    Yup you've got it pretty much nailed.

    There are some nice hotels downtown though as well as finer dining if you look for it.

    But the rest of it is just one ugly tourist trap. And the rest of San Antonio is just a barrio.

    Never did like visiting there too much.

    I recommend driving north on I-35 to Austin and checking out the small towns like New Braunfels and San Marcos on the way.

    I am dissappointed! (none / 0) (#3)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Aug 11th, 2002 at 09:02:50 PM PST
    I was suspecting a racial joke about mexicains...I am dissappointed.

    (The above comments are to be a joke, not to be taken in offense or seriously, better yet how about forget it was said?)

    Question... (none / 0) (#4)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Aug 11th, 2002 at 09:19:13 PM PST
    Why were there only 2,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

    They only had 5 cars.

    You could say that... (none / 0) (#5)
    by Anonymous Reader on Sun Aug 11th, 2002 at 11:35:34 PM PST
    San Antonio is doing ok; Flood were in New Branfules and Lake Canyon. As for the sign of the lord.. oh please; S.A always gets hit with floods, nothing new. NOW onto the real stuff; Don't wander Downtown at night, we got BAD drunks there. I happen to visit the Alamo alot, since "Rivercity Mall" happens to be 3 blocks away..

    Ja ne ginjin

    nothing (5.00 / 1) (#6)
    by johnny ambiguous on Mon Aug 12th, 2002 at 08:48:09 AM PST
    San Antonio is right at the East edge of the Great Texas Nothing. Do you have a taste for Australia's legendary outback, and will you have a rental car when you come to San Antonio? Then fill it up with gas and head West into the hill country on US Highway 90. The mountains on either side of you are very beautiful, particularly at sunset and sunrise. I went out there in 1975 and it's the most desolate place I've ever driven through; I remember one stretch of road fifty miles long where, aside from the pavement, you did not see one sign of human habitation. I stopped the car and walked for a half-hour at a right angle to the road into the hills. It was wonderful; there's nothing else in all Texas I'd like to see again so much as that arid, high, inhumanly empty land.

    Yours WDK -

    Getting into my Chevrolet Magic Fire, I drove slowly back to the office. - L. Rosen

    Here's the plan... (none / 0) (#9)
    by faustus on Mon Aug 12th, 2002 at 07:07:12 PM PST
    I think you should re-enact the Alamo. If you don't know anyone in SA to help, just go down to the comic book store and round up some D&D nerds. As for weaponry, it shouldn't be too hard to find a friendly place in Texas that will sell you a nice gattling gun. For the costume, you could stroll around the gayer part of town, and ask for the whereabouts of the nearest thrift store.

    Whatever you do, don't ask anyone's permission, just start shooting while cursing "that infernal Mexican Army". Have fun, I hope to see you on the news soon.

    --You seem to be suffering from a liberal-arts education.

    potty (5.00 / 1) (#10)
    by poltroon on Mon Aug 12th, 2002 at 09:42:19 PM PST
    The River-Walk is a gay sewer out of Disney-Land. Not to suggest that I've ever been to Disney-Land. But nevertheless, you should leave the gay sewer behind and head South on Alamo for the truly delightful (and satisfyingly straight) Texas High-way Patrol Museum. They even sell an assortment of must-have, one-of-a-kind, high-quality, souveniers.

    Stale Urine? Hmmm... (5.00 / 1) (#11)
    by jvance on Mon Aug 12th, 2002 at 10:03:29 PM PST
    Juan Fernandez, please report yourself to the nearest Texas Highway Patrol office.
    Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

    ooo! (none / 0) (#12)
    by KingAzzy on Tue Aug 13th, 2002 at 11:28:40 AM PST
    I wouldn't mind one of those sterling silver belt buckles!

    Excellent but LARGE souvenirs! (none / 0) (#13)
    by Ernest Bludger on Tue Aug 13th, 2002 at 11:56:54 PM PST
    I do like the look of the t-shirts as well as the belt buckles. However I'm now prepared to be impressed by the girth of the average Texan. The shirts come in Large, XXL, and XXXL.

    Why is it impossible to get anything in small or medium in the U.S.? This applies to beverages as well. Is this symptomatic of the confusion of quantity for quality?

    Extra large. (none / 0) (#14)
    by hauntedattics on Wed Aug 14th, 2002 at 02:55:54 PM PST
    Having been to Dallas, and assuming that San Antonio is similarly populated, I would advise you to prepare to be impressed by residents' girth sizes.

    I am equally confused by the lack of small or medium anything in the U.S. these days. It didn't used to be like that, either. If you'll wait a minute, I'll find my teeth so I can tell you all about the old days and how much better they were.

    (Then I'll go watch Matlock.)

    Even more so (none / 0) (#15)
    by zikzak on Wed Aug 14th, 2002 at 03:22:43 PM PST
    Since San Antonio has a greater population percentage of Mexicans, it is even fatter than Dallas. Mexicans have an obesity rate twice that of USians, and over half the women in Mexico are obese.

    Hell, even their own president has said publicly that his fellow Mexicans are all a bunch of fat-asses.

    Fat Mexicans? (5.00 / 1) (#16)
    by First Incision on Wed Aug 14th, 2002 at 10:08:51 PM PST
    I seem to constantly hear these claims about Mexicans, yet the reality never seems to back up the stereotypes.

    Fat Mexicans? All the Mexicans around here are either rail-thin, or bulging with muscles.

    Lazy Mexicans? I have never seen Mexicans during the daylight hours that are not working their muscular asses off. They are trimming the lawns, building the buildings, and harvesting the crops with energy and zeal. This is real labor, unlike what I (and most of us readers) do.

    Take a look at any construction site (around AL, at least). You will see a bunch of white and black workers slowly doing their jobs. The Mexican workers are scurrying around, getting things done like they have something to prove.
    Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

    Diet and Transportation Changes (none / 0) (#17)
    by jvance on Thu Aug 15th, 2002 at 08:38:15 AM PST
    It used to be that cities with a high proportion of Hispanics had a lower obesity rate. Changes in diet and urban sprawl have altered that. San Antonio has consistently been in the top 10 fattest citties in the US recently. The proportion of overweight and obese people in New Mexico has climbed dramatically, and it is now near the national average. Hispanics are now eating a diet higher in fat, and are driving more and walking less, just like the rest of America.

    It's a disgrace really. Soon we won't be able to defend our country because there'll be nobody left who can get off their couch without a pryin' stick.
    Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

    And I thought you were trolling (none / 0) (#18)
    by jvance on Thu Aug 15th, 2002 at 10:49:11 AM PST
    Good Lord!

    An extract:
    " The explanation for this is that many people in underdeveloped areas leave their ranches and their agricultural activities due to the poverty in which they live and have to look for jobs in the cities. This causes a great change in their lifestyle and a considerable decrease in their physical activity, inasmuch as they engage in more sedentary activities and do not need to travel long distances in order to obtain food and water and the consequence of this is weight gain."

    Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

    The alamo is a crap hole of desecration (none / 0) (#19)
    by NaRodnik on Fri Aug 16th, 2002 at 04:55:38 PM PST
    Half of the alamo has been completely demolished and the other half is just a few walls tha have been moved so that A huge assed hyatt could be placed next door,

    trying to find a parking space in san antonio is crap and the best thing about the sity is it has a huge ass tree in the middle of the alamos supported by wires

    altho the freeway is quite spiffy


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