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Time Machine Spec Final Peer Review Attendance
Yes 10%
No 0%
I'll wait for the Preliminary Design Review, thanks 90%

Votes: 10

 The Spec Is Nearing Initial Release

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 24, 2002

Our customer is finalizing his requirements as you can see below. I'm having a peer review on the spec later this week. Who's attending?


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If you are a Time Traveler from Dimension D1263GT10, year 2008 or Dimension D2044GT5, year 2432 and or in possession of the Dimensional Warp Generator wrist watch, the Carbon Copy Replica model #52 4350 series or similar technology I need your help!

My entire life and health has been messed with by evil beings! I simply need the safest method of transferring my consciousness or returning to my younger self with my current mind/memory. I need an advanced time traveler to work with who can help me, I'd would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel.

This is not a joke! I am serious! Please send a separate email to me at: if you can help!



Sir, (none / 0) (#1)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Wed Jul 24th, 2002 at 03:34:32 PM PST
I have several subjects from dimension D1023450 which is about 5 parsecs from the dimension you list. However, these subjects are located in year 2102, based on the christian calander.

If you require our Graphite Copy replcator, please reply.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Thank You, Sir (none / 0) (#4)
by doofus on Thu Jul 25th, 2002 at 11:08:00 AM PST
Dr Cortez,

I appreciate your offer.

I believe that we will be using a glowing blue moon crystal-powered universe editor to perform the bulk of the time travel processing on this program.

Would you perhaps have one of those available? I will instruct the legal department to begin contract negotiations immediately if you do.

Doofus Sir, (none / 0) (#5)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Thu Jul 25th, 2002 at 02:12:01 PM PST
Doofus sir, your name is a misnomer.

Unfortunaly, our macro physics engineering company does not sell a universe editor. The closest I can get is a quark editor. This would enable you to change the spin, and regarange the quarks found in your particular universe.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Please be businesslike. (none / 0) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 24th, 2002 at 05:41:53 PM PST
I have had dealings with a client with very similar requirements. This sort of information, however, as I'm sure you realize, can not be had merely for the asking.

If your budget is sufficiently large, we can deliver the goods, but we will require a minimum fee up front. You know how these things work, so I'm sure you'll understand.

Background Info (none / 0) (#3)
by doofus on Thu Jul 25th, 2002 at 10:58:15 AM PST
I assume your comment is directed to our Customer, not me.

Please review the following items in order to gain sufficient background to proceed on this program.

Thank you.

Since his requirements have changed, (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by jvance on Thu Jul 25th, 2002 at 11:20:55 PM PST
I may now be of some small service to him.
Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR


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