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I think this year's Glastonbury festival was:
all the better for the new superfence 0%
all the worse for the new superfence 7%
not as good as it used to be 7%
a frightful irrellevance 7%
not as good as Wimbledon 7%
a bad influence on our children 21%
a sublime truimph 0%
a waste of taxpayer's money 21%
a liberal myth 28%

Votes: 14

 Glastonbury review, or 'How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love The Smell Of Poo'

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 02, 2002
Aaaah, Glastonbury! back again on Worthy farm, home of the great British music festival. There were doubts as to whether the event would go ahead at all this year, after Glasto 2000 was chronically gatecrashed, leaving local residents, the police and council members having a right strop-on, I can tell you. After a year off though, and a brand new superfence, it's back - hurray!

More diaries by Mr Somebody
South Park lied to me!
the weekend starts here
For all you folk who couldn't make it, and those of you who were there, but couldn't be bothered to form an opinion, here are my thoughts & musings on this year's festival...

No Doubt - aye, they were alright, but I took offence when I heard the singer woman saying "don't let me down, Glastonbury..." apparently, she was labouring under the impression that the audience were somehow there to entertain her!

Coldplay & Starsailor - well, pretty much what I expected really, that thin reedy/weedy voice that so characterises UK guitar bands, at least the ones that get airplay. I think these bands were there to keep the mums & dads happy. I was glad then, to get the chance to hear the much hyped White Stripes - blimey Charlie! there's a thin reedy/weedy voice if ever I heard one!

Meanwhile, over at the dance tent, Mr. Scruff was giving it some, for 3 chuffin' hours! that boy has stamina, and he can spin a mean tune, too. The dance tent looked awesome - enormous it was, & bedecked in resplendant cosmic UV decor, eye candy indeed!

Back at the pyramid stage, the godlike Rolf Harris bestrode the stage like an Antipodean Colossus, belting out his anthems: Stairway to heaven; Jake the Peg....and the other one. The crowd couldn't get enough of him. To finish, he got us all singing 'Tie Me Kangaroo Down Chuck' to the tune of Land of hope & glory - a fitting tribute indeed in this jubliee year, god bless you Rolf!

After the dizzying heights of Rolf, the rest of the festival could've been a bit of a let-down, but fortunately, distractions abounded, like er, wild Roos in the outback. The Caberet stage housed good old Attila The Stockbroker & his punk/poetry thang, and John Ottway, still performing that flippin' Bodytalk thing he did on The Young Ones years ago! I also whitnessed that crazy dame with the angle grinder & metal knickers. There's a stunt to make you wince. The Green fields were great as always, full of beautiful sculptures made of wood, clay, scrap metal etc. The Sacred stone circle thingy field at the top contained some seriously nutted people! My girlfriend commented that this is were the 'most out of it' revellers had congregated, and before long we could see why - the mushroom man was here! & he was taking orders. We made our excuses & left.

And so, with another Glastonbury survived, what are the most striking memories? yep, the horrific toilets are pretty high among them! Do you go for the cubicle types, where you're trapped in a confined space with an overflowing bowl of effluent? I shouldn't if I were you! the open air cesspit types aren't much better, but they're guarunteed to not erupt, Vesuvius style. Also, so many overflowing bins! Seriously! I've never seen so much rubbish in my life. The only things more prolific to the rubbish were all the market stalls, mostly selling edible rubbish. Now, reaising the toilet situation, you'd think that most folk would probably not want to eat that much, wouldn't you? Seemingly not. Some folk will insist on a curry & lager diet, knowing full well the consequences of their actions. Spicy food & be damned!

But shit & trash is not all I'll take home with me, I have vivid memories of Zero7's splendid set, as well as the mighty Faithless, & larking about in the Glade with me bird. Glastonbury rocks!


Hmmm. (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 3rd, 2002 at 06:48:33 PM PST
May I direct you to a psychiatrist who specializes in your problem?

you may, but you didn't (none / 0) (#3)
by Mr Somebody on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 04:33:02 AM PST
bit of a missed opportunity on your part

The Sacred Space (none / 0) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 12:23:16 AM PST
People didnt so much go there whilst they were out of it, more to get out of it. I scored some kickass mushrooms there and some OK shwag at the same time, not that it was hard to come by stuff anywhere else at glasto. We were queueing for some potato wedges and some guy offered to sell us some 2C-B, which was a most pleasent experience.

This year was my first glasto, and it most definatly wont be my last. Next year, on the wednesday on top of the hill in Kidney Mead, in front of the pyramid.

It all makes perfect sense

there's nowt so sacred as being 'off your face' (none / 0) (#4)
by Mr Somebody on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 04:42:19 AM PST
I know, we were saying it was like a flippin' drug supermarket up there! Did you get your shrooms off the father & son outfit? I abstained this year, although I was very tempted. We made do with some fine grass, and lots of cider. But tell me, what the F is 'shwag' & '2C-B'? you know you're getting old when you don't recognise the drugs any more!

Sir, (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 04:48:53 AM PST
might I interest you in some "cake"?

you got any clarky-cats? (none / 0) (#6)
by Mr Somebody on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 05:09:57 AM PST
I only do cake at weddings

To answer your original question, (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by derek3000 on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 10:00:03 AM PST
'schwag' is slang for low-quality pot. 2C-B is for pussies who can't handle LSD or MDMA.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

ah, makes sensi (none / 0) (#8)
by Mr Somebody on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 02:50:07 AM PST
I thought schwag may be something like that.
So this 2C-B, is it some kind of legal herbal high? Don't tell me, it fills you with the delusion that you're riding in an unfeasably ridiculous french car, no?

It's still illegal. (none / 0) (#9)
by derek3000 on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 06:03:08 AM PST
I just get the impression that it's for those who can't handle the other ones. Of course, who am I to be talking shit--I've never tried psychedelics. I'm fairly certain I'd end up jumping out of a window or something.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

Fish (none / 0) (#10)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 8th, 2002 at 12:28:20 AM PST
I heard about the father/son duo, I remember thinking it was kinda funny at the time. Didnt buy anything from them though...

Shwag is a generic term for cheap weed, basically not as good as skunk. Its useually harsher to smoke and you tend to get lots of seeds in the bag, but the stuff we got was good for 15. 2C-B is kinda like ecstasy and acid but at the same time kinda different too. Read up more on it here, its most entertaining stuff.

Actually, reading around on erowid makes me wish I could get more 2C-B. It was a pure chance encounter and the friend I was with who actually got offered it nearly turned it down, it was only because it was on my mental list of "drugs I've heard of and should try" that we did it at all. Well worth it IMO.

army game thingie


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