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 A plea from a busy corporate executive

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jun 28, 2002
 Comments:
Dearest Adequacy Editorship,

As an upstanding member of our society, I often do not have time to read your newsletter on a daily basis. I could be in the south pacific drinking fine wine on a fellow CEO's cruise liner, or perhaps wind surfing the costs of Panama. None of these locations have access to the interNet much less a telephone. Even it they did have an interNet connection, the quality of the communist browsers and the painfull lack of usability found on any interNet terminal leave much to be desired. In short, the interNet is not the ideal medium for the busy, wealthy individual.

I belive I have found a solution to help the busy corporate executive enjoy the Adequacy Experience.

diaries

More diaries by Martino Cortez PhD
Good Morning Nobile Sirs
Dearest Adequacy Readors
Deor Adequecy Readers
Martin-Cortez Newsletter, Issue 1 v I
Martin-Cortez Newsletter - Issue 2, Vol I
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 3, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 4, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 5, Vol 1
Dear Anonymous Reader Sir,
Help Save Me!!!
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 5, Vol 1.
Dr William King Sir,
Martin Cortez Newsletter
Good Evening Dear Sirs,
Sir, Wherefore art thou adequate?
Dearest Adequacy Readers,
Dear Sirs,
Mr. Milosovic Sir,
Sirs,
Sirs,
Dear Sirs,
Sirs,
I propose that you release Adequacy on microfiche on a bi-weekly basis. As with any member of high society I have microfiche readers located in all my offices and leasure rooms. For example, I could finally enjoy the Adequacy Experience on the poolside or while hiking the Appalachians using my handheld microfiche reader.

By releasing your fine newsletter on microfiche, I feel your readership would grow substantially. Many of CEO's I've had spoken word with have told me that they just dont have the time to spare.

John W. Sidgmore, CEO of nations finest telecom company--MCI Worldcom, has this to say about the state of Adequacy:

Adequacy is all the rage at the dinner parties I attend. With all this talk about Adequacy I wish I could find a simple, easy way to enjoy all the exciting happenings at Adequacy. I would absolutely love it Adequacy where to release their newsletter on microfiche. I would definitely subscribe then.

In fact, over %80 of all CEO's and corporate board members I surveyed said if Adequacy where to release their newsletter in the ways I have suggested, they would subscribe without hesitation.

In conclusion, in order to attract more of the high quality articles and discussion this newsletter provides, Adequacy break new ground in the realm of communication technology. I sincerly hope you consider offering your newsletter in microfiche format.

Thank you for your time.

       
Tweet

Hmmm. (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 06:35:15 PM PST
Spelling mistakes or misuses:
"coasts"
"painful"
"believe"
"leisure"
"don't"
"sincerely"

I "sincerly" hope you "dont" prepare your company's financial reports. It could be "painfull" for your shareholders and board members.

Or do you "belive" you're too busy to spend the 7 seconds to do a spell check?


You're new here, aren't you? (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by RobotSlave on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 06:39:28 PM PST
Dr. Cortez has had quite a lot of trouble finding devastatingly attractive nude female typists who are also proficient in the finer points of English composition.

Please understand that it is a very limited pool of talent from which he must draw.

Good day, sir.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Thank you sir, (none / 0) (#5)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 07:25:39 PM PST
It's good to see the obvious perdicimant I am in: Mind blowly orgasmic sex coupled with poor spelling. The choise is yours.


--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

 
Sir, (none / 0) (#3)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 06:41:19 PM PST
Dear Anonymous Coward,

I would love to run a spell check on my documents. However, thanks to your shotty communist, hippie infested internet viewing software - I cannot do this without much pain.

Perhaps I should hire the likes of yourself to spell check my work. Then again, you might be better suited to cleaning my gentlemans room.


--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

How Can... (none / 0) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 07:21:31 PM PST
your email address be "martino@martincortezfinancial.com" when the martincortezfinancial.com domain name is available to buy?
http://www.register.com/whois.cgi?vhost_name=martincortezfinancial

And what does the browser have to do with a spell check? Just write your copy in your favourite word-processor and paste in the browser. It isn't that hard. I find it to believe that a PhD and CEO couldn't do it.


WRONG! It's martino@martincortez.com... (none / 0) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 07:32:04 PM PST
and don't give me some "line" about how it "changed", as if someone could "edit" their "user" preferences.

sheesh.


uh yeah (5.00 / 2) (#12)
by detikon on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 12:21:29 AM PST
Oddly enough that domain is available as well.

If one can't edit their user preferences why is the a link to do so for registered readers? Why when using Internet Explorer or MSN Explorer (idiotic interface and all) am I directed to a page where I am asked to provide my password to change my user details?

How do you explain signatures, and the ability to edit your bio?

Please answer something else for me. Why doesn't your friends cruise liner have access to the Internet (correct spelling)? Does it lack any ability to communicate with outside world? You think a cruise liner would have satellite communications. Just because your friend calls his row boat a cruise liner doesn't make it so.




Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

perhaps (5.00 / 1) (#13)
by nathan on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 12:31:18 AM PST
The good Doctor may have his domain in the private portion of the Internet, only available to the true élite. Only people of Means with a capital M have the know-how and technology to access it.
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

ok then (none / 0) (#14)
by detikon on Thu Jul 4th, 2002 at 03:56:25 PM PST
That is entirely possible. It happens everyday. However, this can be accomplished only a few ways. One of which is failing to register a domain name. This means that someone must know the IP address of you server (ie web server). Since the domain name isn't registered it isn't linked to some obscure portion of the Internet. I suggest you do a little research next time before coming up with silly assumptions.




Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

http://www.internet2.edu (nt) (none / 0) (#16)
by nathan on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 12:40:31 PM PST

--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

your point? (none / 0) (#17)
by detikon on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 12:54:54 PM PST
The domain name is registered. It points to a valid server. If the domain name martinocortez.com were resolved to an IP address, whenever you typed it in you would still get to the server (granted it was not down).




Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

duh... (none / 0) (#18)
by nathan on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 01:14:28 PM PST
If the domain name martinocortez.com were resolved to an IP address, whenever you typed it in you would still get to the server (granted it was not down).

ASSUMING that you had access to the custom browsers and other technology needed to view such an élite website.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

unfortuantely... (none / 0) (#19)
by detikon on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 08:37:30 PM PST
even if you were require to have al this specialized software the domain name would still need to be registered and resolved to an IP address.

It wouldn't matter what browser you are using. I suggest you head over to InterNIC, the premier registrar and standards organisation which monitors other registrars. It also compiles a list of upstanding registrars.

Even if your argument did make any sense no one would be able to send him email anyway. You see email is not sent direct. It would simply go nowhere because no server would be able to find it.

I seriously suggest you study networking especially domain names, IP addresses, email, and the various protocols used on networks including the Internet. Maybe then you wouldn't come off like a complete idiot with trmendously sill fantasies about how networks function.




Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

perhaps an analogy (none / 0) (#20)
by nathan on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 09:48:41 PM PST
In any city of importance, there are clubs for the rich and powerful. They don't soil their ($8000 handmade Italian) shoes walking on the same urine-soaked pavement as vermin of your class. Why should the worldly-net be any different?

What makes you think the illustrious Dr Cortez's website is accessible via the http or mail protocols? All you have is the form of his addresses, not the content. I'm sure you're not presuming to claim that you have access to his closed-source, highly proprietary technology. How can you possibly know what protocols his mind-boggling technology uses?

In other words, if you don't know how to actually view Dr Cortez's website, you may presume that you're not invited. I gave internet2.edu as a simple example of a proposal for a 'private' internet, in order to prove that such a thing exists even in the jejune world of mediocrities such as yourself. Now imagine what lies hidden, just out of site, as it were.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

oh please (none / 0) (#21)
by detikon on Sun Jul 7th, 2002 at 04:30:06 AM PST
Now you're just going off on fantasy bullshit. If by some moronic chance the server used all the proprietary protocols no one would be able to view his site or send him email. That includes other people using the technology.

Email is not sent direct. It bounces from one system to another depending on how many are in between. Considering the protocol would not be recognised no email client would be able to recognize and would simply drop it.

His web server would not be able to serve up any web pages to any web client. For his server to do anything he would have do, register the domain name (he can sit there and make all the claims he wants to but it's bullshit), point it to an IP address, and force everyone with a major system on the internet to use his software (which no one would do) for his system to be able to connect to the outside world.

Apparently you are so damned retarded and can't except fact (obviously due to your lack of knowledge on the subject) and must result to idiotic flights of fancy. Are you really that stupid? Must I draw you a picture, tie it to a brick and beat you in the fucking head with it?




Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

you're denying the existence of private protocols? (none / 0) (#23)
by nathan on Mon Jul 8th, 2002 at 02:36:30 PM PST
Somebody inform the Mad Scientist - he'll be relieved.

I'm sorry that the very idea of closed protocols makes you livid with rage. Perhaps you should consult a Registered Psychotherapist® or other professional before your terrorist threats get you incarcerated.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

 
You should switch... (none / 0) (#15)
by gordonjcp on Fri Jul 5th, 2002 at 12:27:13 PM PST
... to Mozilla then. Use that instead of the illegal hacker warez that you have at the moment.


no kidding (none / 0) (#22)
by detikon on Sun Jul 7th, 2002 at 09:08:12 PM PST
Why would you trust someone telling you their software uses standards but fails to mention those "standards" have proprietary secret extensions. Then when you find out they try to convince you they're additional features. It's not a bug. It's a feature.

How about this one. I seriously hope you haven't run Windows Update lately. When you download the newest set of updates you must agree to yet another EULA. Wanna know what it says?

It says that MS now can force your system to download and install patches and updates. You can at no time opt out of installing them. There's also a provision that if the patch/update fucks up you system and you lose all your data you cannot hold MS responsible.

In other ords you will be allowing MS to open a HUGE backdoor to your system (creating yet another security risk) and take control over many functions of YOUR computer.

Looks like elenchos will be getting his wish. Anyone stupid enough to agree to this is letting MS tell them how to use their own computer.




Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

 
Don't you people understand? (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by Prof Daly on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 07:45:25 PM PST
By providing adequacy on microfiche to Cortez, we're letting him win.

Professor Daly
Chief Scientist - United Nations

Dear Prof. Daly (none / 0) (#8)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 07:53:18 PM PST
By typing such filth to this newsletter, you do more to discredit your so called "Chief Scientist" status than words ever could.

I suggest you fix the typo in your signature:
Cheif Scientist - United Nations

PS: I have already won. The moonbase is mine.


--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Not To Worry. (none / 0) (#9)
by Prof Daly on Fri Jun 28th, 2002 at 07:58:09 PM PST
We have operatives inside your Moon Base.

I maintain that the proper spelling for Chief is 'Chief.' I before E except as in DEFEAT, as in DEFEAT for you, Dr. Cortez.

We are watching.

Professor Daly
Chief Scientist - United Nations

 
What the Doctor said above is indeed correct (5.00 / 1) (#10)
by Slobodan Milosevic on Sat Jun 29th, 2002 at 10:02:25 AM PST
He is working for me, Martina. The MoonBase was never your's. Stop deluding yourself. Infacet, I went for a ride (in full AstroNaught gear) this very fine morning in my MoonRover. I came across a few of your ScoutShips, but (unfortunately) had to destroy them.


 
great idea. (none / 0) (#11)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Jul 3rd, 2002 at 04:10:25 PM PST
By providing adequacy on popular buisness formats such as microfish, telex, tickertape and punched cards, many more readers would be catered for.
I for one would like to browse the current nes events while at work.


 

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