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What is the pinnacle of human achievement?
A PC computer running Windows 20%
An Apple computer running Mac OS 10%
The Mir space station 0%
Playboy magazine 20%
The wheel 10%
The universal remote control 40%

Votes: 10


 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
May 06, 2002
If you know anything about System of a Down besides the fact that you hate them, you might think you know why I put this as my title. But you'd be wrong.

More diaries by gohomeandshoveit
Nya Nya Nya
New Twist on Godwin's Law
As Per the Norm
I actually put "Suite-Pee" as a title because I couldn't think of an adequately suited title, and I happened to be looking at their CD cover. However, that's not the point. My point to address in this diary is, to be quite frank, several disassociated rants about American society in general. Number One: Why do they call it a "Real" Yellow Pages? That implies that there is a "Fake" Yellow Pages, which, to my knowledge, there isn't (unless it's published by underground Communist curmudgeons who still think the Mir space station is the pinnacle of human achievement). Number Two: Why do the majority of the people in this country use Windows-running PCs when Apple Macintosh computers are clearly faster, better, easier to use, and more aesthetically pleasing? It makes no sense, and it leads me to believe that America has no sympathy for the company who introduced "icons" to the world. Have you no decency? Third, I must complain that there are hardly any controversial websites on which to post my just and valid opinions, at which all you PC users scoff. Adequacy being the only decent one, I must resort to continually bombarding this website with my outspoken views, making me look like I have no life, which I do (see the Mac Bigot). Last, I must ask the big question: Why the hell do they put Braille letters on DRIVE-UP cash machines? It makes no sense! What is this fine country of ours coming to?!?!


Adequacy Answer Service (none / 0) (#1)
by because it isnt on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 07:54:36 PM PST
  1. To distinguish them from the "surreal" Yellow pages, which are printed on paper saturated with LSD.
  2. Because they're cheapskates. They don't buy Dyson vacuum cleaners either, so their homes are filthy.
  3. I have noted your complaint and filed it in a Very Important Place under my desk. Your call is important to us...
  4. So the chauffer doesn't get the rich blind guy's PIN code. Blind man walks into a shop swinging a guide dog around his head. Shopkeeper asks what he's doing and he replies "Oh, I'm just having a look around"... -- because it isn't

Real Yellow Pages (5.00 / 2) (#2)
by The Mad Scientist on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 08:15:12 PM PST
Maybe there are Complex Yellow Pages, and Real Yellow Pages are the subset that doesn't contain the imaginary phone numbers.

Oh ghod. (5.00 / 2) (#5)
by tkatchev on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 11:43:09 PM PST
g**k humour.

Peace and much love...

Maybe they don't have this in your area. (none / 0) (#3)
by First Incision on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 10:26:52 PM PST
There are in fact, numerous brands of Fake Yellow Pages produced by shady bottomfeeders. This directory is not to be confused with the Real Yellow Pages produced by your friendly neighboorhood Baby Bell.
Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

Windows computers. (none / 0) (#4)
by tkatchev on Mon May 6th, 2002 at 11:41:14 PM PST
Why? Because they're cheaper.

Peace and much love...

I agree, gohome (none / 0) (#6)
by Adam Rightmann on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 05:28:57 AM PST
It makes no sense, and it leads me to believe that America has no sympathy for the company who introduced "icons" to the world. Have you no decency?

I agree totally, there is only one company America that still makes copiers and printers in America (well, maybe IBM or Kodak, but I'm not sure) and they did invent the icon. But still, pennywise but pundfoolish office managers types focused solely on their selfish bottom line persist in buying Japanese printers and copiers, sending our hard earned American dollars overseas to a nation of Pagans who celebrate Christmas by displayign Santa Claus on a cross in department stores.

Buy American made copiers and printers and support American Christians.

A. Rightmann

SOAD (none / 0) (#7)
by derek3000 on Wed May 8th, 2002 at 11:58:53 AM PST
Tell me, why are you so obsessed with these half-wits? I've forgotten better music.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

Oh, I don't know- (none / 0) (#8)
by Illiterate Bum on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 12:26:06 PM PST
they write well-written, complex songs. The band is very proficient technically. And they are a hand and a half better than a lot of other groups out there.

But I have to agree. Aesthetically, they just don't work with me. They lack... soul, if you will, heart. Passion. The things that make okay music great music.

But then again, if you or anyone else has visited the page I occasionally write for, then you might have guessed that I might be one of those indier-than-thou fucks that like the Moldy Peaches for the irony of it. Major label music? Blah, I say, blah!

But I also like Radiohead and Tool and Nirvana. And Helmet. And J5. And Iggy Pop.

Argh! (*curling into fetal position*)

"...normal, balanced people do not waste time posting to weblogs." --tkatchev

I finally found someone... (none / 0) (#9)
by derek3000 on Thu May 9th, 2002 at 12:56:35 PM PST
more pretentious than me. I think I'm in love.

How do you feel about the whole Modest Mouse thing? I still love most of their stuff, but you've got to admit that it's strange to hear the intro to "Gravity Rides Everything" (a song that I never liked) in a beer commercial.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie


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