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 What makes Australian women so hot?

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
May 14, 2002

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Australia is a genetic experiment by the British, to find out what happens when you put a whole load of criminals together in one place, and allow them to procreate.

Apparently, the result is some of the hottest looking women the planet has ever seen. I cannot explain the biological reasons for this, but I am just glad it worked out that way.

I have always wondered one thing. Why didn't the British leave the lawbreakers in the shitty UK, and deport the law abiding citizens to the paradise that is Australia ?. It has always puzzled me. Perhaps some Australians out there could enlighten me.

Just don't use any of that quaint old Aussie slang. I am not a 'whinging pommie bastard' or a 'larrican hoon', and I will not be 'getting a huge dog up me', or drinking a 'slab of stubbies' or a pint of VB.

Thank you.


Aussie sheilas are so hot.... (none / 0) (#1)
by because it isnt on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 10:26:28 AM PST
...because of the constant sunshine.

On the other hand, look at Anne Charleston, Germaine Greer and Lynne McGranger. They've all been out in the sun too long. And it's not like we're short of whinging aussie bastards either... -- because it isn't

Dear Sirs (none / 0) (#2)
by osm on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 10:45:37 AM PST
I am afraid you are terribly, terribly, horribly confused. Natalie Portman, Eva Habermann and Louise Wischermann are not and never have been Australian. Australia is second only to Canada in outright offensiveness. Both nations should be converted into nuclear test/dump sites for the one remaining superpower (and home of Natalie Portman), the United States. (none / 0) (#5)
by faustus on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 11:48:05 AM PST
Wasn't Portman born in Israel? I guess this throws a massive wrench into your monkey sized argument.

--You seem to be suffering from a liberal-arts education.

Hey, dipshit (none / 0) (#6)
by osm on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 12:36:39 PM PST
And Louise Wischermann was born in South America and Eva Habermann was born in Germany and they are both German residents now.

Did I say anything about Israel? No. I said Australia is second only to Canada in offensivness. Now run away before I kick you.

kick me? (none / 0) (#11)
by faustus on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 08:44:29 PM PST
How could you kick me with your foot in your mouth? I choose to ignore this silly commentary about Canada and Australia, as it makes me as an American uneasy, knowing full well that my country is the most offensive that there is. Please read some Chomsky to become enlightened about the bloodly past our country has propogated throughout the world. If you can't read turn on the television and watch some of the FOX network between 12:01am and 12:00am.

--You seem to be suffering from a liberal-arts education.

If you find it so offensive... (none / 0) (#12)
by John Wainright on Wed May 15th, 2002 at 12:11:38 AM PST
Perhaps you need to emigrate to a nation more to your liking.
Haiti, Cuba, any of the Russian republics, or any third world country will greet you with open arms.
It's amazing that this country is so repulsive that honest people get on waiting lists for years for legal entry. Others risk all to enter illegally.
Please leave, you are not wanted. Someone will be glad to take your place.

Chomsky? (none / 0) (#18)
by osm on Fri May 17th, 2002 at 12:24:33 PM PST
You mean that drunken socialist? Of course I will not read the insane ramblings of that treasonous maniac. You have just managed to destroy whatever bloody shreds of credibility you may have had.

Australia is a desert island, filled with the dregs of a battered British Empire. God knows what centuries of in-breeding have done to the already-questionable genetic material of those criminals, circus freaks and wanton fornicators.

And Canada is a known haven for terrorists, drug smugglers, communists and other liberals.

Both countries - and I use the term "country" loosely - should be eager to have us sterilize their population with thousands of years worth of radioactive isotopes.

Now bend over while I put on my steel-toed boots.

Is it offensiveness... (none / 0) (#7)
by The Mad Scientist on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 01:40:45 PM PST
...or just plain being blunt?

Isn't it better to tell what you think than to be politically correct all the time for any price?

My word... (none / 0) (#8)
by gNinja on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 03:15:09 PM PST
Children these days are so ignorant it's not even funny. I knew they stopped teaching math and science but I guess they must not teach English or geography any more either. School has just been six hours of "Self Esteme" classes ever since the liberals too over.

It's not the language Canadians use that offends but their smell.


You're right. (none / 0) (#10)
by The Mad Scientist on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 04:08:03 PM PST
But if Canadians smell, it surely isn't enough to carry over the Atlantic. At least I hadn't noticed yet.

However, here over the ocean 'American' is often a synonym for 'dumb'. I met couple of very smart Americans though, so I got experimentally confirmed that at least exceptions exist. But some stories I heard (and few gigs I witnessed - ie, putting a calling card with a chip to a payphone with the (clearly visible) chip contact field outside, and then wondering it doesn't work, etc.) tell alot about the degree of technical incompetence between the general population. They surely generally don't lack the self-esteem, though.

Awesome. (none / 0) (#13)
by derek3000 on Wed May 15th, 2002 at 07:01:25 AM PST
1. We're all terribly inferior to the Brits. Forget about that little war we won around 200 years ago.

2. People should always be valued on intelligence. At least it's not as arbitrary as beauty, or charm, or something superficial like that.

3. Intelligence, an awfully hard term to define, should be measured by technological competence. Nevermind that Voltaire wouldn't know what to do at a payphone.

Mad Geek, over here in America (the best country in the world), we use change at our pay phones. Nickels, dimes, and even those big twenty-five cent peices. Some of the coins even have pictures of people who whooped on you and your ilk.

Now go on a big gay-out with your local Perl guru after you lay tarp on you keyboard.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

Educational systems compared (none / 0) (#14)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed May 15th, 2002 at 01:29:39 PM PST
I have a window open with your comment and a window open with my comment and I fail to see how you related my post to the topic of America. And unfortunately your writing does not make a great deal of sense either semantically or syntactically and I am thus loath to reply.

Instead of responding to you point (I assume you had one), I would like to discuss education. As I spent almost equal portions of my education in British and American schools, I feel I am more qualified than most to comment on the subject.

I would not advise attending a public school in either England or the US. London public schools have long been some of the worst in the world. Debatably, they are better than the schools in Burundi because they speak English rather than French. That is the only meliorating quality these otherwise foul sess pools of liberalist propoganda can boast.

Sadly British public schools--as demonstrated by your poor logic and disrespect for the English language--seem to have sunk to new lows.

American public schools are slightly better by right of not being permeated with a pompous attitude and a snotty accent. But as educational institutes they are almost equally bad.

British private schools are quite acceptable. I would send my children to one of these. Where I attended, the instructors were conservative in every way except for the application of corporal punishment. They were extremely liberal in this regard.

American private schools offer all the benifits of British bording schools except for the corporal punishment. American schools have better organized sports. As a result, the students are generally more physically alert and attractive.

If I had to send my children to a private British school I could accept that. However, given the choice I would prefer they attended a private American school.


Get this: (none / 0) (#15)
by tkatchev on Wed May 15th, 2002 at 01:48:06 PM PST
"Mad Scientist", the way I read it, has once had a full course of communist education.

His annoyingly snobbish veneer of technocracy is undeniably Soviet in style; it's something something of a mark that this generation wears.

Peace and much love...

Schools (none / 0) (#16)
by The Mad Scientist on Wed May 15th, 2002 at 03:09:39 PM PST
I was reacting to at least two posts at once. (I think the one related to Americans was osm's one, the topmost one of the thread. I don't remember much from yesterday's evening.) My mistake I hadn't specified so.

Both my poor logic and recent lackluster language performance have their roots in catastrophical lack of sleep. Should get better in next few days.

I am afraid I can't serve as an example of anything related to British schools. I never ever seen one from the inside; I was attending a state school back behind the Iron Curtain. I am mostly self-taught though, with great help of my family - back then parents used to have some time for their children...

Local schools were (and still are) oriented to cramming heaps of useless trivia (names, dates, tables) into the students' minds, instead of helping them understand the subjects. Memory over logic.

My classmates were typically able to recite all the required authors or historical data for any period, and choked on real life calculations. Especially juicy example was when a chemistry teacher gave us some calculation; part of the input were some constants for chemicals involved. He added there some useless values (ie, for the solvent, some even entirely unrelated) - it was astonishing how many students tried to find a way how to cram all the data they got into the equations, as they were otherwise used to get only the relevant informations. Any case when they had to think outside of established models caused more than half of them to fail. Usually the ones that otherwise used to collect straight 'A's when it came to memorizing things.

Kylie Manogue (none / 0) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 11:41:51 AM PST
I think it's funny that she's still popular. She was the Spice Girl of the 80s.

Perhaps in 10 years Posh will be all over the entertainment section at

kick her ass, then see how good looking she is... (none / 0) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue May 14th, 2002 at 03:29:04 PM PST
You think they're attractive because they are nice to American men. They're accostomed to having the shit beat out of them by Aussie men, so when an american is nice to them, they're shocked and surprised.

It just seems like they're attractive... but they're really not.

Australian women (none / 0) (#17)
by SpaceGhoti on Fri May 17th, 2002 at 12:43:16 AM PST
Australian women are hot for two reasons: they have ample justification for wearing as little as possible, and on the whole they're fairly open-minded about the consequences. They aren't nearly as prudish about sexual intimacy as some other cultures I could mention.

Australians are descended from criminals just as much as (and, in fact, no more than) Americans. Fortunately, they've managed to minimize the side-effects, in that they have a much smaller government than you'd ever find in the US.

A troll's true colors.

False on all counts (none / 0) (#19)
by T Reginald Gibbons on Fri May 17th, 2002 at 05:04:48 PM PST
Australia, like the US, is among the world's most sexually restrained cultures. A jaunt through old Europa should cure you of any misapprehensions regarding the comparitive progressiveness of Australian sexual mores. Australian "sheilas" are no more immoral than the good and honest women of the American heartland.

Your other statement is evidence of a bitter and jealous mind. Throughout its history -- indeed from the days of the Virginia company, and the later settlement by the Mayflower pilgrims -- American migration has been dominated by free settlement. There were convicts shipped here, but they were very much in the minority. This should be obvious from the American cultural achievements of the era, which could only have sprung from the hands and minds of free men. Australia, on the other hand, didn't see any appreciable free settlement until thirty years after the colony had been founded. Even then, there was another century to wait before the free settlers came close to equalling the numbers of the convict population. This is why Australian culture is represented on the international stage by a few measly soap operas. Without freedom, the soul of the people withers.

Stop spreading your antipodean nationalist hatred and lies. No one is fooled.

Consistency (none / 0) (#20)
by SpaceGhoti on Fri May 17th, 2002 at 10:30:49 PM PST
I won't honor your tripe with a direct response. I'll merely point out that your comment is not worth debating. Let me know when you finish with your juvenile revisionism.

A troll's true colors.

you spelt (none / 0) (#21)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat May 18th, 2002 at 03:54:25 AM PST
Holly wrong -- it's not `Holley', I think Holley makes mufflers, or mag wheels.


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