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Favourite year in the seventeenth century?
1649 28%
1688 14%
1667 28%
1660 14%
1605 0%
1611 14%
1618 0%

Votes: 7

 Australia and Australians

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Apr 09, 2002
After a few visits here, I am ready to share with the rest of the adequate world my perceptions of the Australian people:

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1. Australian women are very frank about fucking and this is a good thing. It rapidly becomes clear in social situations whether or not one is going to have a chance to share STDs.

2. A significant part of the population have views an inch or two to the left of Donald Rumsfeld (i.e. are 'full-on', to use an Ozzie term, Nazis).

3. One can best display one's social ineptitude by talking loudly about the Aborigines whenever possible.

4. Most words can be shortened by taking the first syllable and then adding -y or -o; polly, relly, garbo, prezo, barbie, etc.

5. Beer is very popular here. Admittedly this is not an uniquely Australian trait.

6. There is absolutely no social stigma attached to walking the streets in bare feet.

7. The house parties here are excellent. This is partly because even central city dwellings have sizeable backyards.

8. The heroin problem is shocking.

9. Work is not the be-all and end-all here, which is nice.

I have more insightful thoughts, but you don't deserve them yet.


A few more insights (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by SpaceGhoti on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 11:36:36 PM PST
Work is not the end-all-be-all, but gods help you if you don't have local references. The first job is the hardest to find; after that the search goes much easier.

Australians have a huge hangup about Americans. On the one hand they adopt a lot of American traits like pushing legal rights, suing for damages and other trends. On the other hand, they bitch and moan about how Australia is becoming so much like America. Including the ones who are suing for damages.

Australians are no better at determining accents than anyone else in the world. I have had people confess they thought I was British from the way I speak. It isn't because I speak with an English accent, but because I don't speak with an outrageous NYC or Texas accent.

Australians tend to be very friendly people, not just the women being frank about sex. Bring a beer and pretend to be interested in "footie" and Bob's your uncle.

I have no idea where "Bob's your uncle" originated.

A troll's true colors.

Bob (5.00 / 3) (#2)
by Ernest Bludger on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 11:48:14 PM PST
Click here and Robert's your father's brother.

Corrections/additions (5.00 / 2) (#3)
by Ben Reid on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 06:25:53 AM PST
1) Our women haven't caught on to the American tradition of justifying meaningless sex with vague feel good statements like "sexual love".

2) Join the club.

3) "Indigeneous Australians" not aborigines. You racist.

4) You can also add an 'a', especially to first names (e.g. Wazza, Bazza) and if involved in "bloke talk" you can insert the word "mate" anywhere you like.

"G'day mate, how ya going?"

"Yeah, good mate. Yourself?"

"Not bad, want a drink mate?"

"Yeah, thanks mate."

"No worries mate."

5) Beer is a major food group. Being an alcoholic is highly acceptable and often necessary.

6) Or with your shirt off.

7) You mean the get-pissed-and-have-a-BBQ party or the drug-induced-dance-to-trance-music party?

8) At least they're not haxors.

9) Wouldn't know, never worked a day in my life.


Australian lingo is one of the great examples of the phenomenom known as "economy of langauge".

We'd save (per capita) a good 2000-3000 words a year I'd say. At 1 second per word, well, that's nearly 50 mins of your life back.

Some examples:

Howyagoingmate: needs no response, person asking does not really care how you are going. In fact, you can say the exact same phrase back at them (and officially you have had a conversation). Combines "hello" and "how are you" in one succint, elegant phrase.

Whatchabeenupto: unfortunately, a response will be necessary here. Grunt or shrug will do though. Most common answer: (actually, more like a reflex action) nothingmuchhowboutyou.

Sounds Intriguing (4.00 / 1) (#4)
by jvance on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 01:15:59 PM PST
I'd like to visit this Australia, but I don't feel like hanging by my feet all day long.
Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

Could be worse (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by walwyn on Wed Apr 10th, 2002 at 01:46:40 PM PST
you could be hanging onto a dag.

Leunig (none / 0) (#6)
by Ernest Bludger on Thu Apr 11th, 2002 at 03:16:48 AM PST
Australians also have regular access to cartoons by Michael Leunig, which is not a bad thing at all.

I think Australia is one of the more authentically inauthentic countries; in that its defining national characteristic seems to be a lack of a defining national characteristic. Lots of really nice beaches, though.

Sigh. (none / 0) (#7)
by hauntedattics on Sun Apr 14th, 2002 at 08:14:05 AM PST
I find #9 quite intriguing. Unfortunately, however, I have to go do some work.

Yes, it's Sunday morning, and I'm a total loser.



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