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Should I call the New York Times and sell them this information?
Yes 100%
No 0%

Votes: 7

 To set the record straight

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Apr 09, 2002
The news media has had a field day with the Catholic Priests and I need to get some of the hidden facts out.

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I think that the Catholic priests are getting a bad rap in the media these days, what with all those accustaions of young buy buggering and the like. After all, if those young boys didn't prance around in their tight little trousers teasing those most holiest of esteemed holy men then they wouldn't be tempted to give them the high hard one. Sure, you can try to tell me that those young lads don't know what they're doing in their shiney little SS-like uniforms, I would wager differently.

After all, a man can only stand so much temptation, even the most holiest of men, before they break. How can you blame a Priest for acting on his most natural of urges after repeatedly watching young lads flaunt their virgin buttocks while bending over to pick up thier pencils from the ground. Those smarmy little tarts need to take some responsibility for their part in this horriffic scandel. Yes indeed, in fact it's fairly well known that when a young boy says no to an offer to be buggered by a Catholic priest that "no" really means "yes" in that instance. Phooey, who do they think they are fooling.

Now of course I don't condone any of their behaviour, but I think both parties are at fault here.


I suspect some of those "Priests" are re (none / 0) (#1)
by Adam Rightmann on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 01:16:15 PM PST
liberalist infiltrators. What an insidious idea, infiltrate one of the few institutions opposing the liberalist human-destroying, soulless, smut-filled agenda and use your position of trust to abuse youngsters, recruiting them to the homosexual cause while simultaneous embarrassing and weakening the True Church. Such a diabolical plan!

A. Rightmann

Well (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by Right Hand Man on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 01:31:07 PM PST
Do you know what the Catholic Church needs?

They need an earthly means by which they can sift through the believers and the pretenders. Of course, God will do this in the afterlife, but it would be nice to find some way to find out who was just faking it so they could get access to young boys while at the same time tarnishing the reputation of an institution they so obviously despise.

If only there were a way. If only there were some signs following the believers.

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

I'm sure the infiltrators are well trained (none / 0) (#3)
by Adam Rightmann on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 01:36:51 PM PST
by the liberalist conspirators, they won't make obvious mistakes to identify themselves as homosexuals or liberalists, like not liking sports, listening to heavy metal music, driving two seater cars, being afraid of guns. If you can think if any good ideas, perhaps they could be passed along to the hierarchy. Of course, we can always pray, too.

A. Rightmann

So well trained, in fact, (none / 0) (#4)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 01:43:58 PM PST
that they themselves may not even know they are liberalist infiltrators.

You are correct. (5.00 / 3) (#11)
by tkatchev on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 03:01:57 PM PST
That is the devil's oldest trick, is it not?

Peace and much love...

Suggested test (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by jvance on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:02:50 PM PST
Perhaps there should be an apprenticeship for young priests - one that involved intensive snake handling.

Those that survive would be the True Believers, spared by God Himself.
Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR

Yes (none / 0) (#9)
by Right Hand Man on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:35:25 PM PST
That would do the trick I think.

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

A good test (5.00 / 1) (#8)
by Sylvester Q McNamera on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:24:52 PM PST
I know of a good test. You take every Priest in trainging and chain them naked to a wall. Then you pour Jack Daniels[TM] down their throat until they are fairly drunk. Then, you force some E[tm] into them, followed by liberal amounts of pot.

Now, you play some show tunes on a CD player while showing performances of male figure skating on a big screen TV. Then parade a bunch of attractive nude young boys in front of them. Those that get "aroused" are obviously nefarious and don't have the young boys best interests at heart, and should be shot immediatly. Those that don't get "aroused" are most certainly well trained conspirators who are out to bring shame upon the Catholic church and should face torture the likes that would make even the most hardened Spanish Inquisition fan blush, until they repent and admit to their crimes.

The sad thing is that in todays mamby pamby world you would never get the public to go along with it.

Best wishes,
--S.Q. McNamera

huh (none / 0) (#10)
by budlite on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:48:01 PM PST
Aside from the show music, naked boys and skating videos that sounds suspiciously like my night of April 8th.

Softness of approach. (none / 0) (#5)
by walwyn on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 01:47:08 PM PST
Once there was perhaps the church could reinstate the practice.

Why not some old advice? (none / 0) (#7)
by nx01 on Tue Apr 9th, 2002 at 02:16:33 PM PST
As Arnold-Aimery, the Papal Legate at the siege of Beziers, said:

"Kill them all; God shall know his own".

Once they are finished with their time spent as an altar boy, they could be ritually sacrificed. I believe the Chinese and Japanese have some excellent rituals that could aid the development of a New Holy Tradition. This way they cannot ruin the reputation of the Church by spreading lies after they have grown up.

"Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it."
-- James Gosling


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