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As of yet, I still have not eaten a mint...
Tomorrow morning! 18%
Late tomorrow night! 0%
Next week's inevitable all-nighter! 18%
Never! Resist! 63%

Votes: 11

 You have broken my will

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Apr 17, 2002
In their ongoing attack on my sanity, the editors of Adequacy have re-instated the HyperMints ad. Zikzak edits my entries until I don't even know which thoughts are mine. I think only what the editors want me to think.

Today I purchased caffeinated mints.


More diaries by First Incision
What's in my name?
An Afternoon Downtown
First Incision, American Television Viewer, Condemns
A marching band has made me cry
Band of Brothers
A request for a book review
My TV crush
Biochem, and other useful sciences
The Air Force
A quote for the readers of Adequacy
Hollywood has lied to me
New Toys
Thomas Kinkade vs. RMS
My newfound non-conformity
Shot Glass vs. Rosary
Analyze this
The recession can't touch me!
Cold Turkey
She's not my queen!
Thomas Kinkade: Jigsaw Review
My brush with a playmate
Playmate update
Biblical sexiness
"The Blinding Dawn" or "Breakfast at PizzaHut
The Caffeine Fix
Muppets in a courtroom?
*END* IP Token
The US Civil War
Have a Solemn Lent
King Cotton
God and High Society
[I am saddened that] the Hypermints are gone.
Glasses make people ugly.
Operation Enduring Uptime
Am I a 75-cent whore?
Vice Principal checks for thongs and bras
Square bacchanal
Snoozing through Star Wars
Thank you, allies.
My Father, the geek
Southern Belle Asian Chicks
Adequacy scooped by Fortune
A Down Home 4th of July
A question for the atheists
A dream of Communism and porno
I am dating a liberalist
I'm thinking of joining the Citizen Corps
Shotgun Weddings
I s God punishing my parents?
My Day at the Monestary
On nations and ethic groups
I now know it is personal. The ad no longer even links to a real site. Oddly enough, I find myself sympathizing with LinuxZealot. I would run this "Junkbuster," but I doubt it is available for WindowsXP.

Today, I was purchasing some books in the local medical science bookstore, and there were some devilish little confections for sale in the impulse-buy display. I don't want the mints, but the Adequacy editors compel me to eat the mints. They command me to suckle on this sugary drugged teat.

For $1.60US, I bought half an ounce of Penguin® Red Caffeinated Cinnamons. With it's obvious Soviet imagery (the R in "Red" is backwards), these mints are sure to drive me to a life of sleepless, jittery Communism. Thanks Adequacy. Still, I resist. The tin sits before me, open. The mints are seen, but uneaten. They are smelled but untasten. Temptation swells within me.


Resist my friend! (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by Illiterate Bum on Wed Apr 17th, 2002 at 08:12:35 PM PST
Do not let the sinister editors get to you, friend! Resist the foul temptation that is the caffeinated cinnamon mints! Do not let these devilspawn break your will in this matter! Damn it man, fight, I say, fight! For the good of us all! Today, we will stand up against the foul perversions that the editors of this site would push on us! Today is the day that we will make a stand! Today is the day that we will fight for our intellectual freedom!

By and by, is "untasten" a word?

"...normal, balanced people do not waste time posting to weblogs." --tkatchev

untasted (none / 0) (#6)
by First Incision on Thu Apr 18th, 2002 at 08:20:32 PM PST
No, it's not a word. I was hepped up on 40oz of Pibb when I wrote that.
Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

No, you FOOL! (3.00 / 1) (#2)
by T Reginald Gibbons on Wed Apr 17th, 2002 at 08:15:39 PM PST
What have you done?! Penguin mints are an inferior knock-off product produced in the Third World! Without real caffiene crystals, they will only produce an artificial caffiene buzz at best. The shoddy workmanship on the penguin mint has already cost the lives of eight caffienated mint users, all of them young men in the peak of health. The same inferior process that causes penguin mints to be chalky and unsatisfying also introduces dioxins and other impurities into the finished product. These mints are dangerous. You would have been safer buying crack cocaine.

You got the wrong mints dude (none / 0) (#3)
by Ben Reid on Wed Apr 17th, 2002 at 08:21:04 PM PST
Nothing could top the Penguin® Caffeinated Peppermints, at least not if the hype is true ...

"Think Barry White on a world tour with Mr. Bungle, doing lunch and leaving the place minty fresh."

Ah yes :) (none / 0) (#4)
by nx01 on Wed Apr 17th, 2002 at 09:29:36 PM PST
Penguin Reds are great. Despite the obvious homosexual communist imagery, the actual mints are wonderful. Cinnamon-y and decently strong (without being chalky like altoids), and they give you a nice little boost to boot.

As a side note, the only place I ever found them for sale was in a record store in a godforsaken New Mexico town. Worked out perfectly since I was on a road trip at the time.

"Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it."
-- James Gosling

Okay I guess, but not great. (none / 0) (#5)
by Uncanny Vortex on Thu Apr 18th, 2002 at 10:33:16 AM PST
In my experience, they don't have enough caffeine per mint and are too sugary. However the alternatives aren't too much better. (Visit this bastion of liberalist conspirators for more possibilities; but you knew that already.)

-- Uncanny Vortex


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