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 what does this dream mean?

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Mar 21, 2002
Lately I have been having a number of increasingly strange dreams. I'll put up last night's dream for you guys to analyze and hopefully someone will be able to tell me what's going on with my mind.

On an unrelated note, I found it amusing today that the girl who refused to give me her phone number is getting dumped by her boyfriend for excessively stalking him and driving him nuts. I guess I did win in the end, even though it didn't seem like it at first (she's so good looking, though! oh well...).


More diaries by heimdall
Don't read this!
Please read this...
And here's my dream:

I was in the bedroom of a male friend of mine, and we were playing with an X-Box (funny how that happened, especially since I've never used one in reality). Every now and then he would take a bite out of a Polish sausage that he had on a plate near him or he would lick it and make moaning noises while doing it.

Anyhow, after about 3 hours of this or so in my dream world, I got up and went into the kitchen. I found three shopping carts filled with light brown asparagus (don't ask me), and I thought that it would be a great idea to take these vegetables out back and do something with them, so I pushed the carts near the back door of this guy's house, and I started stacking them in the doorway. They were in bundles of about 25 each. When I had sufficiently blocked the way, preventing anything from getting in or out, I decided to coat the exposed tips of the asparagus with mayonnaise and I gave my 'work' a quick lick with my tongue before climbing out a window and wandering over to the front of the house.

To my surprise, when I came to where the entrance should have been, I discovered a large penis, which appeared to have been flaccid and resting on the grass. For reasons that I can't explain, I decided to crawl inside the urethra, and as I did, there were red lights blinking on and off inside to help guide me along. When I had gone about 20 feet inside, I think that the 'owner' of the pecker was getting aroused, and I began to slide deeper and deeper into the penis. Suddenly, I was coated with 'mayonnaise' and I was shot out as though it were a cannon.

And then I was flying through the air, without a care in the world, proud of who I was, and what I was, and not bothered by anything around me. I was so happy that nothing could have ruined my dream...but something did.

Out of nowhere, a long rope creeped from the ground up to me and the end of it chased me around for awhile, while I tried to fly around it and escape. Unfortunately, it ended up catching me and attached itself to my belly button, at which I discovered, much to my horror, that the other end was attached to my mother and that she was reeling me back into her womb. "You'll never, ever escape me're mine, you little sneak. You piece of shit!"

And then I woke up.

What does it mean?


Well (none / 0) (#1)
by Right Hand Man on Thu Mar 21st, 2002 at 06:35:39 PM PST
It means that you need to go to church. Every Sunday.

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

Maybe it's because I'm baked... (none / 0) (#2)
by derek3000 on Thu Mar 21st, 2002 at 09:00:55 PM PST
But I don't think I've ever enjoyed Fruedian satire this good. Ever. Bravo. I really don't know what else to say.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

Weird dreams (none / 0) (#3)
by seventypercent on Fri Mar 22nd, 2002 at 09:05:33 AM PST
When I was in college a few years ago I had a strange dream about the actor Dennis Hopper. (No, not that kind of dream.) My three roommates and I were sitting around in the living room watching the movie Speed. About halfway through the movie, the doorbell rings. I answer the door, and wonder of wonders, it's Dennis Hopper! Right there at our apartment! So of course we invite him in and resume watching the movie.

We all have tons of fun, and we ask Dennis to re-do some of our favorite lines of dialogue from the movie ("Why are they messing with me?" "You've got blinders on to the world, Jack!") When the movie finally ends, we all ask Dennis for his autograph. He tells us that he would be more than happy to sign autographs for us, and suggests that we should all go back to our bedrooms and find something appropriate for him to sign (i.e., a notebook, a VHS copy of the movie Speed, etc.) So we all leave the living room, go to our respective rooms, get something for him to autograph, and come back to the living room to discover ..

The fucker had ripped us off.

Everything was gone, and I mean everything.

Our television, our VCR and movies, our stereo, our CDs, our PlayStation .. everything was gone. The son of a bitch even took our couch. All of this in the span of seventy seconds or so. We ran out of the apartment, but he was nowhere to be seen. We never saw Dennis Hopper (or our possessions ever again.) The end.

I have no idea what that means, but it certainly is odd.

Red-blooded patriots do not use Linux.

I saw this music video... (none / 0) (#4)
by elenchos on Fri Mar 22nd, 2002 at 11:56:29 AM PST
...with Christopher Walken dancing. And then he starts flying. It was so cool. That's the thing about guys like them, Christopher Walken or Dennis Hopper or whatnot. They have power, and a lot of it. So it isn't really that strange that Mr. Hopper could have taken all your stuff like that. I'd just be thankful he didn't take even more from you, because he could have had anything of you and what could you have done about it? Nothing, that's what.

There was also this great Madonna video that had been banned where she and an old, old lady (her mom?) are driving a stolen Camaro or Trans Am or something and they knock over gas stations and kill people for no reason, then wreck the car and steal another one. Why doesn't Madonna do more work like that?

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

eh? (none / 0) (#6)
by budlite on Fri Mar 22nd, 2002 at 12:48:40 PM PST
First paragraph. What ARE you babbling about?

Fatboy Slim video... (none / 0) (#7)
by hauntedattics on Sun Mar 24th, 2002 at 02:17:54 PM PST
called 'Weapon of Choice.' Mr. Psychotic Villain can really dance. Whodathunkit?

Actually, my friend met Mr. Walken a few years ago in a grocery store and said he was incredibly nice. So all that Evil Dude stuff is just a facade. I bet Dennis Hopper collects angel statues or something.

It's obvious. (none / 0) (#5)
by jvance on Fri Mar 22nd, 2002 at 12:37:31 PM PST
It means buy stock in Hellman's
Adequacy has turned into a cesspool consisting of ... blubbering, superstitious fools arguing with smug, pseudointellectual assholes. -AR


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