"Why a Wiccan?" you might ask. jsm was rather harsh in his judgement of their religion, but the precise scriptural details don't concern me. Several things seem very clear to me about Wiccan females:
- They are gullible. Very gullible. This means they are trusting. This means they believe a chap's explanations and do their best to put him on a pedestal. I like being put on pedestals. I like being praised a lot, and think a wiccan would constantly boost my ego.
- They are at ease with their sexuality. This is very important. They sound like fun, to me.
- They are, generally speaking, quite plain, and often slightly overweight, on the edges of society they find solace in Wicca. This means that they are easily manipulated to do one's bidding. Also, I don't like overly attractive girls, makes you feel guilty later, somehow, which you don't get with plainer females. And cos they are more desperate, they are much more wild.
- They are innocent. I find innocence hugely attractive. Anybody who believes in Wicca can't have much experience of life, and is either willfully ignorant, stupid, or innocent. For young wiccan females, innocence is the obvious answer.
- They aren't very intelligent. I don't like to feel challenged, and I don't like to feel I have to think overmuch to win an argument or convince a female of something. Also, lack of intelligence is perfectly charming in females. Unintelligent females are pleasant and fun to be with, and don't start up arguments about politics or metaphysics or something boring like that.
They sound like great fun to me. Unfortunately, where I live there are hardly any Wiccans at all, and the local henges and standing stones are entirely deserted. All the tourists and pagans seem to focus on Stonehenge, leaving the ancient monuments of this northern fastness completely empty.
However, I fancy that I can somehow lure a wiccan from the New World to come here, with promises of empty stone circles and blatant lies about our rustic, primitive, celtic lifestyles here in the industrial nightmare of Glasgow.
So that's my plan! I will (one day) marry an American Wiccan, and we shall live happily ever after.
So I really can't wait. I'm not sure how much Wiccan females vary, they are probably all more or less the same. What I want is a slightly overweight, average intelligence, fun, innocent female Wiccan. There must surely be plenty to go around in the grand scheme, I am just stymied by a local dearth :\
Anybody have any tips or suggestions on how I can procure a Wiccan female?