1) When a friend asks if you have played StarCraft, you reply:
- a. "That software is not approved for use with Debian GNU/Linux."
- b. "Games are stupid. I use my computer for important things, like recompiling my kernel."
- c. "Games are stupid. I would rather spend time with my girlfriend."
2) You win a free dream-date with Natalie Portman. You:
- a) Lose consciousness.
- b) Instead, decide to attend an Open Source seminar where Richard Stallman will be speaking.
- c) Tell your girlfriend you are attending an Open Source seminar to hear Richard Stallman speak and instead go on the date with Natalie.
- d) Are boycotting Natalie Portman because she appeared in a movie with a trailer released in a format not supported by Open Source Software.
3) Your Adequacy username:
- a. Is conveniently remembered by Internet Explorer.
- b. Was chosen by your girlfriend.
- c. Is "NAWL".
- d. Was chosen to reflect the "sharing" nature of the Open Source Philosophy.
4) Who discovered electricity?
- a. Benjamin Franklin
- b. Thomas Jefferson
- c. Linux Tovardelass
5) When composing a letter home to your parents, you:
- a. Manage to type in "Dear" and then break your wrist trying to execute the impossible set of keystrokes needed to move your cursor one space to the right.
- b. Tell them about your new girlfriend.
- c. Enjoy the conveniences of a modern GUI.
6) A friend shows you his new computer with the latest hardware. You:
- a. Drool with envy.
- b. Inform him that your operating system will do the same thing with half the hardware as soon as someone writes the appropriate software.
- b. Show him pictures of your girlfriend naked.
7) Microsoft releases an update to Windows. You:
- a. Rush to install the download so you can take advantage of the cool new video card you just bought.
- b. Laugh hysterically at yet another Windows bug fix as you recompile the fourteenth release of Linux kernel 2.4.
- c. Have sex with your girlfriend while Windows Update automatically installs the new software.
8) Your girlfriend:
- a) Went to school at MIT.
- b) Was a cheerleader.
- c) Is part Cluster Lizard.
- d) Is attached to your wrist.
9) Hacking Ability is:
- a. A measure of "coolness".
- b. Grounds for imprisonment.
10) You purchase a new digital video camera. You covertly tape yourself having sex with your girlfriend. You:
- a. Attempt to download it to your hard drive using an Open Source DV application, only to have the tape erased and your camera ruined because the software used incorrect control commands.
- b. Overwrite it with motion captures of the female character "Slash" from your copy of Linux Quake III.
- c. Show the tape to your friends.
11) The GNU logo is:
- a. Representative of freedom, sharing, and communal non-property.
- b. A retarded buffalo.
- c. No different than the skull and crossbones flags used on pirate ships of yore.
12) You want Richard Stallman to:
- a. Continue to lend his vast intellect to championing the Open Source ideal of communal software.
- b. Shove a string of sausages into his mouth while Eric Raymond rides him around a stage like a greased pig.
- c. Take a bath.
13) When posting a sarcastic remark on the Internet, you:
- a. Always enclose the sarcasam in HTML-style <sarcasam></sarcasm> tags.
- b. Title your post "A Modest Proposal".
- c. Actually, I never make sarcastic remarks on the Internet.
14) Mark Twain said the Reverend Charles Wadsworth "never fails to preach an able sermon; but every now and then, with an admirable assumption of not being aware of it, he will get off a first-rate joke and then frown severely at any one who is surprised into smiling at it." Did he mean that:
- a. Wadsworth was never intentionally funny.
- b. Wadsworth embarrassed himself and didn't know it.
- c. There isn't enough information given to tell for certain what Twain meant.
Use the following to score your results:
1) a = 20, b = 20, c = -10
2) a = -30, b = 50, c = -5, d = 50
3) a = -10, b = -20, c = 50, d = 40
4) a = -20, b = -25, c = 30
5) a = 40, b = -20, c = -20
6) a = -10, b = 30, c = -20
7) a = -20, b = 30, c = -30
8) a = 10, b = -10, c = -40, d = 40
9) a = 40, b = -40
10) a = 30, b = 25, c = -20
11) a = 30, b = -30, c = -35
12) a = 40, b = 0, c = -40
13) a = 40, b = 39, c = 0
14) a = 20, b = -5, c = 40
below 0) Congratulations! You are a well-adjusted individual of no interest to the FBI and with a rewarding social life, clear complexion and parents who love you!
0 - 40) You are a Dirty GNU Hippie who doesn't even know how to use Linux.
40 - 99) You are a simple Dirty GNU Hippie.
100 - 120) You are a Dirty GNU Hippie who immigrated from the former Soviet Union
120+) The FBI is pulling into your driveway. Have fun convincing your cellmate, Brutus, that "Open Sores" doesn't refer to your anus.