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 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jan 18, 2002
I just got back from the club with that girl from this diary. I'm pretty happy, read on for why...

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Well beside being half-drunk, I just made out with her. I called her today and she invited me to a club. A club, my speciality! Not so fast, a gay club! WTF I thought, she told me she was bi, WTF?!? Well I went, which I think impressed her and we danced a bit, and she did some kerokakke (sp?). Later she got me to do Limp Bizkit's Faith. I tore what shit up. Later on we started making out and talking more. She's a great kisser and really cute. She's the cutest, hottest girl I've ever ksised. I really like her when I'm around her, but I can't see myself with someone who is bi. It seems so far away from my own value system. We'll see what happens tomorrow night. She's a really cool girl, and I know I like her a lot. But that whole bi thing has me off a bit.


Get a life (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 02:35:22 AM PST
But that whole bi thing has me off a bit.

She is probably just pretending to be bi for effect. It seems to be the fashion amongst the youth of today. But even if she is not, what do you care ? Perhaps you have latent bisexual tendancies yourself. You'll never know until you try it. It could open up a whole new world for you.

Sinner (none / 0) (#2)
by Right Hand Man on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 06:20:56 AM PST
In the diary you refer to in your link above I attempted to reach out to you. The preacher at my church tells us that we have to make some sort of connection with you young people and build some trust before we can start helping them by slamming them upside the head with the righteous truth of the bible.

I tried to speak your language, using the prhase 'get them guts' to refer to a sex act (a phrase I picked up when I accidently listened to rap music). I attempted to show you that I too suffered from the sin of vanity. I tried to scare you straight.

It didn't work. You slipped further down the slope. The one bright spot is that you claim But that whole bi thing has me off a bit. It damn well should. What kind of morals can this girl possibly have? That should be a red flag that she isn't the marrying kind and therefore not worth the effort you'll have to spend courting her. Drop her, and stay the hell out of gay clubs, you never know when someone might try to do a little of God's work in there and you might get yourself hurt.

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

omg!!! (none / 0) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 12:06:43 PM PST
"someone might try to do a little of God's work in there and you might get yourself hurt."

you fucking terrorist motherfucker!!! let him have fun with that girl, the fun you aparently never had. i guess you just need a good fuck, not to make children but to have some fun in your miserable life!

you biased jerk! (none / 0) (#10)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 01:54:23 PM PST
What Right Hand Man obviously meant is that someone might selflessly try to share the Gospel with a lost soul, only to find himself brutally beaten and tortured by an inflamed mob of homosexualists; and, while the orgy of hate was going on, threshold might accidentally become caught up in it and commit some terrible, ineradicable sin, such as murder or buttsex.

I guess sharing the Gospel counts as terrorism in your diseased mind. Praise God the courts don't yet fully support this unspeakably evil idea.

No (none / 0) (#16)
by Right Hand Man on Tue Jan 22nd, 2002 at 08:04:16 AM PST
Homosexuals are destroying the moral fiber of the United States and poisoning the minds of our young people, and I'm the terrorist?

"Keep your bible open and your powder dry."

a-ha. (none / 0) (#3)
by derek3000 on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 07:30:33 AM PST
Later she got me to do Limp Bizkit's Faith. I tore what shit up.

Need I say anymore? Oh, yeah--go get yourself a Morphine album, stat.

"Feel me when I bring it!" --Gay Jamie

Preach on brother! (none / 0) (#5)
by Slobodan Milosevic on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 09:28:50 AM PST
True music will live on forever, as will the musical brilliance of Mark Sandman!

So... (none / 0) (#4)
by doofus on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 09:25:26 AM PST
Your value system (which consists of having pre-marital sex with as many people as you can) and her value system (consisting of having pre-marital sex with as many people as she can, which happens to mean having twice the choices you have) are far apart?

What am I missing here?

Be wary of those gay clubs (none / 0) (#6)
by Adam Rightmann on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 10:14:03 AM PST
For if a homosexual recruiter becomes aware that your date is not a tranvestite, and not a beard, and you are a normal heterosexual, you may get a spritz of rohypnol or oxycontin in your face. Once paralyzed by the aforementioned narcotic, unspeakable deviants acts will be performed upon you. When you recover from the narcotic, you may be so guilt-ridden that accepting the gay lifestyle feels normal.

A. Rightmann

Don't crack under the pressure (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by westgeof on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 12:32:51 PM PST
If she really is bisexual (which I will assume for this post), then this could be an important moment in her life. She is already thining about lesbianism, if not already engaging in it, and you could be her last hope for a heterosexual life. You have the fate of her sexuality hanging over your head. Your treatment of her could very well be the deciding factor in which gender she chooses to pursue. Screw things up and she may finish the transition to lesbianism, but impress her, treat her right, and you may just save her interest in men. It all depends on how you behave around her. Good luck!

For the record, I actually have no moral objections to bi- or homosexuality. However, I'm not naivee, and I recognize that such a lifestyle choice is not easy. Since she is probably not decided yet, you still have a chance to influence her into deciding on a more enjoyable life.

As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.

One word: (none / 0) (#8)
by SpaceGhoti on Fri Jan 18th, 2002 at 04:20:33 PM PST

A troll's true colors.

Listen up, college boy. (5.00 / 2) (#11)
by RobotSlave on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 03:26:02 PM PST
It's time someone levelled with you.

You're an asshole.

I say that because I'm concerned. You seem to be the sort of asshole who doesn't know it, so I'm going to point a few things out, in hopes of avoiding the sort of tragedy that I'll describe later.

We're all glad that you've quit your gluttony. It's nice knowing that there's one less ham-beast attacking the world's Dorito supply. But while you've shed the fat, you're still a pig on the inside.

Look, more than half of the things you've written about women have had to do with their appearance. There's nothing wrong with appreciating someone's looks, of course, but you're coming across as a real jerk.

Take the playmate, for instance. First, you're amazed that she's "just" the prettiest girl at the party. What's up with that, man? Did you expect her to be radiating some sort of magic sex rays, or something? Did it not occur to you that nude models might be fairly normal people when they're not working? It sounds like your notion of female sexuality might be incompatible with reality.

Then you protest that she was wearing baggy clothes. Did you stop for a moment to think about why she might dress the way she does? No, you just remark on how very different she looks with her clothes off. What do you think it would be like to go to a party, knowing that total strangers will identify you as "the nude model?"

You also seem to be putting too much stock in your percieved masculinity. Exercise is good for you, and you should take some pride in your appearance, but your smile and the light in your eyes are more important than those pecs you've been obsessing over. As a matter of fact, men tend to admire other men's pecs more than women do. If you had even the slightest awareness of homosexual culture, you'd know this already.

Likewise, you should enjoy physical feats like landing a tabletop or doing a 360, but when you see these things as a basis for comparing yourself to other men, you're doing yourself a disservice. Do you realize that you're going to get old? Soon?

Now, we must discuss your homophobia. It's understandable, college boy. Homophobia is, after all, pretty much a required survival instinct in most American High Schools. But now that you're out of that environment, it's time to start learning to cope with the world of Gay.

Lesson number one: "gay club" almost always means "gay male club." Lesbian clubs are usually referred to as such, and it's almost unheard of to find a place that manages to be both.

Lesson number two: straight women like to go to gay clubs. The reasons for this ought to be pretty obvious, but I'll spell a few of them out. First off, there are lots of attractive, well-dressed men to look at. Second, and far more important, the woman is unlikely to be hit on by the sort of pigs who are only interested in getting in her pants. You know, people like yourself. Third, she can dance without having to worry about some stranger rubbing his groin on her.

Your friend was testing you. She brought you to a gay club to see if you're the sensible sort of straight guy, the sort who can handle a bit of Gay with aplomb. And you failed. She doesn't know it, but the fact that you think she's gay is hysterical. Sure, it's possible that she's considering the notion of a bit of homo sex. Lots of women do, in college. But I think it's much more likely that you and your residual high-school homophobia have completely misread the situation.

Now, if you don't readjust your outlook a bit, here's what I think will happen: you'll fall for a woman. Hard. She'll really get her hooks into you. And she'll leave you, because you're an asshole. And you'll be devastated. Once the rage runs out, you'll fall off your exercise program, and have an extended eat attack. And the rest of us will have one more obese, depressed asshole on our hands.

Nobody wants that.

Here's what I think you should do, college boy: Next term, take an intro course in gender studies (or women's studies, or women's history, or whatever they call it at your school). Your asshole friends might give you a hard time, but the elite here at adequacy can help you with that (there are plenty of comebacks to that sort of thing). It may seem farfetched, but I guarantee that class will help you more with your problems than any response you might get to your distressed diary entries.

--Uncle Robot

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

I've heard of people like you... (none / 0) (#12)
by gcsb on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 10:11:42 PM PST
Pedophiles. You use the Internet to "groom" young boys into your seedy underworld where you may take sexual advantage of them.

This young man is obviously confused, which makes him a prime target for people such as yourself. Leave the poor boy alone, for the Love of God.

Please conduct your "harvesting" in more suitable forums such as AIM.

Best Regards,
Sig is under not panic.

Slave, you were thinking of me... (none / 0) (#13)
by First Incision on Sat Jan 19th, 2002 at 11:09:40 PM PST
Slave, you were thinking of me...

Don't feel bad about confusing us. I often confuse all the "osm" and "jsm" and "iat" types.

I'm not quite sure how you got us confused, but I was the one who started the thread about the playmate. Unlike 99% of the trash I read on Adequacy, you have made me stop and think.

I have often wondered about the "asshole" thing. Sometimes I find myself thinking something, and saying "Wow, I must be an asshole." Like many people, I am not "myself" here on Adequacy. In person, I am very "real." I am always myself. I am always honest about my intentions and my feelings. To me Adequacy is a place for me to relax, and stop being so honest. Like most people around here, I post to get a reaction. I post not just to get a reaction out of others, but get a reaction out of myself. "If I posted this, how would I defend my opinions?"

But I also realize that there is probably an inner asshole inside of myself. Yes, I did expect her to radiate magic sex rays. I have met women that did. I was surprised that she didn't. I felt confused by this. (here's me being honest) It was a confusing party. Being a near teetotaler, was the only sober person there. I don't normally attend parties with mass consumption of alcohol. There was sex going on in the basement. I've NEVER been to a party like that. I kept feeling like I should pick a random girl and start making out with her. But I restrained myself.

And yes. I did think why she would be wearing baggy clothes, why she was the only girl wearing baggy clothes. But the posts in my first entry provoked me. How would "First Incision" react to this? It took me awhile to decide. Adequacy is a fun place for me. Many times, I can play a character. The "real me" would never be so callous. Other times, I am more honest here than I am with my friends. I would never open up so wide for people other than the readers of Adequacy. Sometimes I regret opening up too much, and other times I regret for closing off the real me. I will probably regret this post.

Slave, I am glad we had this talk. Although I feel we are probably very different people that wouldn't get along in real life, you are probably my favorite person/robot on Adequacy.

And threshold, I apologize for this off-topic post on your diary, and the annoyance you are probably feeling over Slave's comments about the playmate. Wait. Why am I still calling her "the playmate?" She has a name, which I have already mentioned. I apologize for this off-topic post on your diary, and the annoyance you are probably feeling over Slave's comments about Rose.
Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.

Whoops. (none / 0) (#14)
by RobotSlave on Sun Jan 20th, 2002 at 12:02:04 AM PST
Well, scratch the playmate stuff, then, Mr. threshold. The rest of it still goes, though.

Now then.

Great howling green bats, Mr. Incision, are you lecturing me on the differences between person and persona? That's just wrong. This sort of stuff is bdsm 101. You've got to have it down before they'll let you so much as try on a wrist restraint.

Don't worry about that "inner asshole," Mr. Incision. You seem to know how to cope with such things. If anything, you probably don't let it out often enough. That liberalist guilt can really screw up your life if you don't kick it aside once in a while.

Our Mr. threshold, however, is a different sack of mice, entirely.

Oh, and as to "real life?" Everybody likes me in real life. I am a sharp dresser, I have sparkly eyes, I am an excellent cook, I smile a lot, and I make people feel clever. People adore me. I am only a creepy emotional vivisectionist on the inter-worldly web-net, not in the "real world." No sirree.

Now. I think I have to go find a nice bar-stool to sit on where I can stare into my beer and think about playmates in baggy clothes.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

It's odd you brought up vivisection. (none / 0) (#15)
by First Incision on Sun Jan 20th, 2002 at 10:27:28 AM PST
Yet, I actually have performed vivisection. Several dozen in a single day, in fact.
Do you suffer from late-night hacking? Ask your doctor about Protonix.


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