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 Older, Wiser, and Closer to Death

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Aug 23, 2001
If you or any of your associates were to visit my living quarters, you would find that I have books and magazines stacked all over the place. I will have the radio on (tuned to classical music ... everything else annoys me), and as many web browser windows as I can open.

Only very rarely during my waking hours am I not trying to absorb as much information as possible with all of my senses (mainly when I'm in the shower -- books get too wet.. computers electrocute).

Yes, I am a knowledge lover.


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It is a terrible weakness.

As my maddening info-fetish continues, I grow closer to death. Not only my right foot is in the grave, but my right arm, and part of my left foot too.

No I am not suffering from a life threatening disease (sorry folks), only the natural progression from cradle to grave. My hair grows gray and my hands begin to shake. My mind is sluggish and my memory often fails me. It is very disturbing, but I know it is inevitable. Life goes on.

Many times while I sit here I can hear birds chirping outside, and I wonder... "What is sunlight?" Quite honestly I am too weak to leave my home -- a mere breeze would break my back. Nevertheless, I wonder.. fresh air... children playing...

For me, these are distant memories, and I miss them dearly.

You, on the other hand, are in the prime of your life, and I wish to only give you one word of advice before I finally slip away from the world of man and beast...

Now don't leave yet, please. I remember when I was younger I would just roll my eyes when some senile old man started ranting, but I swear on the Wiccan Bible (New Revised Standard Edition) that I have valuable knowledge to impart to you, the reader.

My advice is simple: Ignorance is bliss.

I spent my entire life with my nose in books, while my colleagues were out getting drunk and fucking hot women. Oh, how I regret it! What a fool I have been! WHAT DOES MY KNOWLEDGE MEAN NOW??? NOTHING AT ALL!! WHEN I DIE, SO DOES EVERYTHING I KNOW! I HAVE WASTED MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!!

My illustrious colleagues have large families and big houses. What do I have? A lot of bookshelfs and bad eyesight. TRUST ME, forget education -- it's WORTHLESS!

The good life can be obtained by lying, cheating, and stealing your way to the top of the heap. Don't delude yourself with academics and highbrow philosophy -- Rush Limbaugh, a good set of golf clubs, and a fine woman are what you need to get by in this world. Nothing more, nothing less.


I briefly considered ending the discussion here, but who am I kidding?

If you are reading Adequacy, then you are obviously of an above-average intelligence, so I feel safe in letting you in on a little secret.

I am a member of an organization of sorts. The name isn't important.. you wouldn't have heard of it. We, as in, we the members of the organization, have a little conspiracy going on.

The details of the conspiracy are as follows:

  1. Write a lot of letters to media organizations expounding the virtues of ignorance, stupidity, drunkenness, etc. (like the one I wrote above)
  2. Patiently wait for society to discard knowledge in favor of ignorance.
  3. Skillfully outsmart the ignorant masses, and take over their government.
  4. Enslave them and rule with an iron fist.
It will be excellent. You just have to do your part in promoting ignorance. We don't have much further to go... by my calculations, ignorance has been growing at a rapid pace since the turn of the century. Soon our revolution shall begin.

Good luck.

P.S. You will be contacted later with information on our secret handshake and encrypted email system. Don't try contacting us.. we will contact you.


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