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 _____: _____ Cyber-[Redacted] and [Redacted]

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 24, 2001
[editor's note, by jsm] Please note that Adequacy is not Kuro5hin, and diaries are edited submissions just like any other articles. I've corrected a few typos below, and removed all statements whose factual accuracy cannot be confirmed. Trollaxor, we have preserved the redacted material; if you can post links to your evidence, it will be reinstated, but not otherwise. Please remember that is not a troll site, and as I'm sure you'll understand, your choice of handle means that you will inevitably attract more than your share of scrutiny.

[Editor's Note, by zikzak] While jsm has done a masterful job at delicately removing any content of debatable accuracy, _____'s article still contains material that reflets a personal attack against the individual _____, the country _____, and the networks _____ and _____. In the interest of caution, I have removed all such references, while being careful to leave intact the general flow of the story. I have also chosen to utilise a method to differentiate my adjustments from those of jsm to improve readability and clarity.

[Editor's Note, by seventypercent] It has come to our attention that until such time that these outrageous accusations are actually proven, we should be careful to refer to the target of said accusations in a gender-neutral manner, so as to ensure complete anonymity. We also needed to elide some of the more edgy language in this piece.

An urgent matter of national security has come to my attention. A devious _____ ***** with an ego to match _____'s is exercising a reign of terror on _____. In this essay I will detail where [redacted, pending evidence of _____'s name]("_____") came from, how he/she created his/her power-base, and what he/she intends to do with it. Some of the content may shock you. Though used to paranoia, ********, and blatant ******, trolls are not used to dealing with issues of international terrorism. Hopefully this essay will prepare you before it's too late.


More diaries by Trollaxor
RMS Goes to the Zoo, part 1
Trollaxor in Kansas City #1
An Apology
I Admire Beauty from Afar
OSM, Turn on Your Phone!
The Reflex
GM Jesse's Hot Night of Passion
Screw All of You
I Am About to Lose It
Shoeboy Is a No-Talent Plagiarist
Chloedancer & Shoeboy's Homepage?
nothing can stop me now
Godzilla Withdrawl
What mental illness do you have?

Personal Background

_____ was born [redacted, until the author can provide evidence to support his description of the circumstances of _____'s birth].

Apparently [redacted, until the author can provide evidence supporting the allegations made concerning both _____'s sex life and that of the Ayatollah Khoneini]

When, in 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini passed into the next world, _____ was shattered. [allowed to remain for the time being, but note that claims regarding _____'s emotional state have not been supported] Being only seven he/she couldn't understand why

Technology Beckons

In 1993, after years of hard life [redacted pending proof that _____ has visited _____] _____ met up with a group of [redacted] hackers. Being fat and smelling typically like armpits, these hackers hadn't had sex in years. Young _____, his/her smooth body full of promise, seemed to be the answer. [redacted].

_____ picked up computer skills alongside the [redacted]parties held by the lonely hackers. Between [redacted pending proof of allegations regarding _____ian hackers' sex lives] _____ learned Linux userland utilities. For every time _____'s [redacted pending proof of _____'s learning methods] he/she learned a new Linux kernel compile option. [redacted, likewise] cooresponded to a deluge of Linux lingo and elitist thought. And by the time 1997 rolled around, _____ was virtually one of the hackers, [redacted, likewise]It was then that _____ was told the _____ian Secret.[allowed to remain pending evidence; no proof yet provided of the existence of such a secret]

The Great Satan

America, _____ was told by the _____ian Linux hackers, was the Great Satan, the enemy of all the virtues and truths and graces of the Muslim religion. It was a Jihad [factually correct that a jihad was launched around this time; no proof of _____'s involvment], _____ was further told, to [redacted pending evidence of _____'s involvement in any treasonable conspiracies against the United States of America, democracy, or combinations thereof]. This was the reason why Linux was created [not proven, stet], and this was the reason why the _____ians [redacted pending evidence of _____ian choice of OS, reasons for such choice and _____'s opinion on said choice]

_____ was on a plane days later [redacted pending evidence that _____ was on a plane].

Enter _____

By 1999, the Year of the Beast, _____ had been living [redacted pending confirmation of _____'s living arrangements. Note that the author is clearly ignorant of the fact that a devout Muslim would hardly have any more to do with "pork grease" than the Jewish population of Manhattan's Lower East Side] ... only the web address http://_____.___/.

Minutes later _____ was logged in and turned on. .


After posting frequently to _____, _____ became aquainted with its Rogues' Gallery of editors: _____ _____, Editor-in-Chief, terrible speller, and [redacted]; _____, the [redacted]; _____, the fat, sweaty Steve Jobs wannabe; _____, gullible _____, who made it feel alright to buy the hype; and _____ _____, [redacted] **** editor / censorer and [redacted] of _____. _____ was elated! He could fit right into this circle-jerk of talentless ego and maniacal homosexuality! [allowed to stand; no specific evidence provided, but seems plausible] A few emails later, he/she and _____ _____ had [redacted, pending evidence of any such conspiracy]. _____ was launching its own IRC network. And IRC networks need IRC Operators, supreme authorities of the chat servers.

Soon after, ___._____.___ went live, to the jubilation of [redacted] and slashbots everywhere. Now they could interact in real time, while sitting [redacted, pending evidence of typical state of being of _____ users]in the safety of their own basements!

_____'s Gang

To _____, his/her job was not work. It was joy. He/she got to kick, ban, devoice, password protect, and kline to his/her heart's content. He/she was a [redacted, pending evidence for numerous allegations regarding _____ ops]

It wasn't long before _____ [redacted, pending evidence that you and your pals were banned for any other reason than acting like dicks, which I note is also sufficient grounds for being banned from Adequacy].

The Banned

Casualties in the war against _____ today include _____, _____ enemy and admin of _____; _____, labelled subversive due to [redacted, see above]; and _____, [redacted, see above]. To this day these heroes are still klined from ___._____.___-- [redacted]


Hopefully you realize the depth of what I have just revealed to you. _____ is a [redacted] who has gathered a band of [redacted] and rules ___._____.___ with an iron fist [redacted, see above ad nauseam]!


____ is a fine, upstanding citizen and an honest, diligent and fair IRC operator. His/her technical savvy is second to none and he/she is a perfect role model for all of us. His/her work has incalculably improved the lives of all users of ___.________.___. _____, we salute you!

[editor's note, by jsm] I tried to keep the editing as light as possible.


Emad's a decent guy (2.00 / 5) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:21:49 AM PST
And the casualties in the "war against Emad" got what they deserved. Now fuck off back to Geekizoid, pindick.

You got first post (1.50 / 4) (#5)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:26:05 AM PST
and most obvious too.

My deepest confusions (5.00 / 3) (#8)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:33:43 AM PST
regard those who seem to derive all of their pleasure and spend much of their timo on the savage mauling of the deceased carcasses of creatures in the equestrian variety. Your obsession, good sir, is something which I cannot understand.

ahem. (5.00 / 3) (#9)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:36:04 AM PST
Time, that is. Quite how I spelled that timo is unclear to me. Clearly I am completely insane.

Come to think of it, (5.00 / 3) (#10)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:41:52 AM PST
using equestrian there didn't make any since either, since that relates to riders, not horses. I really ought to go back to bed. Lets try this as a different tactic altogether:

'Shut the hell up about Emad already! We get the fucking point!'

There, that felt much more natural. Excuse me while I go have some coffee and bang my head against my cubical wall in general frustration arising from the bizaare functionings of the Solaris kernel.

ladeedaa (5.00 / 2) (#12)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:43:54 AM PST

Ok, I'll sotp now. really.

It appears that Spaceghoti (5.00 / 3) (#28)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:39:51 AM PST
Has taken it upon himself to be the JCB of

I wonder when he'll get bored... (2.50 / 2) (#29)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:44:37 AM PST
...& realise nobody cares?

it hardly matters (3.33 / 3) (#30)
by jsm on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:45:32 AM PST
since spam comments are deleted with extreme prejudice here rather than being zero-rated, being a trusted user carries precisely no privileges at all. I honestly don't know why anyone bothers rating comments.

... the worst tempered and least consistent of the editors
... now also Legal department and general counsel,

It seems to me... (5.00 / 3) (#31)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 10:09:55 AM PST
That comment ratings are a nice thing to have, as they cut down on 'noise' posts such as 'me too' or 'your comment was nonsensical'. Rather than taking up space with an extraneous post, someone can just rate a comment 5 or 1, respectively, and be done with it. Note that this does not work as well as it could be hoped, because you end up with a whole lot of worthless posts such as this one, discussing comment ratings. (On K5, the situation was quite serious for a while)

Despite the navel-gazing it encourages, I find it much preferable than having to wade through the me-too posts that are standard on any board where rating privileges are limited.

Otherwise, I agree with you.

Excuse me, (5.00 / 2) (#25)
by CaptainZornchugger on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:15:27 AM PST
Could someone please edit the parent post? For reasons unknown to me, I accidently used a certain individual's name. Being that nothing in the above diary or the comments referenced that individual in any way, it seems innapropriate to draw such an individual into a discussion in which he is not involved. If an editor could simply blank out the name, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.

Comments cannot be editied with entry into MySQL (3.75 / 4) (#26)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:23:53 AM PST
And it is against Adequacy policy.

Comments are either deleted (if worthless) or left to stand. Jealous spammers such as trollaxor who post bullshit get annihilated.

Thank You.

tpyos aer a wya of life (5.00 / 1) (#11)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 07:42:11 AM PST
don't sweat it my friend

well (5.00 / 1) (#13)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 08:16:34 AM PST
at least it's funny.

watch the mangled tag at the end of the "The Banned" section.

Blatant disregard.... (5.00 / 3) (#19)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 08:43:57 AM PST
why all the editing? cannot one be satisfied with this masterful work? JSM has destroyed the legacy of poor Emad to boost his ego and make him more selfrighteous and powerhunger...shame shame

This is what makes us better than slash, k5, etc (3.33 / 3) (#24)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:10:16 AM PST
We are prepared to take a stand. We will not allow unresearched, factually incorrect postings to stand unchallenged.

Other sites may be prepared to allow any old shit to stand. is better than that. If we see something we don't agree with, or which is offensive, we will either censor it, or delete it. It is not as if you haven't been warned about this.

Some people are still under the illusion that you can post whatever you like here. Nothing could be further from the truth, as our dilligent team of editors will be quick to point out.

Now, to anyone else thinking of posting ill-researched rubbish like this, think again. This is not slashdot, this is not k5 and this is not crappyzoid. Grow up, or fuck off.

thank you

Why hasn't this been zapped? (3.33 / 3) (#22)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 09:07:55 AM PST
Yes, I'm aware that these spammer kids think that they're some kind of freaking Hemingway when they write this junk, but I see no reason to allow this delusion to carry any weight on a site that is as tasteful and discriminating as Adequacy. This whole piece is a sad commentary on the nonexistant social lives and latent homosexuality that is so common among the crapflooding community. I say get rid of it and let these bumbling cretins play in a sandbox such as Geekizoid, which has repeatedly demonstrated that it caters to these type of people.

I always thought that Adequacy was intended to be a better site for (quite frankly) a completely better class of people. If you owned a posh country club, would you let a transient in tattered clothes, reeking of cheap booze, sully the environment? I would wager that the answer would be no. That being the case, I see no defensible reason to leave this drivel posted; furthermore, I submit that the diseased vermin who find this sort of thing amusing would be more at home elsewhere.

Let Me Commend the Editors of Adequacy (5.00 / 2) (#33)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 24th, 2001 at 12:43:28 PM PST
They have truly shown skill and tact in their handling of my work.

Kudos, kudos, to the editors who hworked alongside me to bring this special diary entry to a shareable state and publish it in its final-- and finest-- form.


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