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How can you tell someone's not to be trusted?
Tells glory tales of stealing DVDs from Blockbuster. 0%
Gets piss drunk on work nights. 0%
Wants tattoos on hands. / Wants huge, expensive tattoos while jobless. 11%
In courtyard of apartment complex, yells to friend about going to buy pot. 11%
Jokes about inviting high school freshman for sleepovers and date-raping them. 22%
Drinks from same trashcan punch that's been sitting out for a week. 0%
Boasts of plans to get "full set of lupine" teeth extensions custom made while jobless. 11%
Will wear 2" diameter pewter pentacle around neck everywhere. 11%
Leaves television and DVD player on all night, despite having trouble getting the cash for electric bills. 0%
Writes on various web logs all day... 33%

Votes: 9


 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 23, 2001

Damnit, once again Chick-fil-a has kicked my digestive system's ass. Wasn't I thinking of giving up meat and all the associated pain last week? Why yes, I was. Well, that'll just be another notion that would have done me good, but has instead become another failing of my own willpower.

Inside: How do you tell a woman that her boyfriend's a dick?


More diaries by Electric Angst
Feeling So Real
Well, let's see what happens...
Break My Body, Hold My Bones.
I'm sick. Fuck Off.
I Guess I'm Just a Sick, Sick Bastard.
Smile Down on Me
Bloody Your Hands on a Cactus Tree...
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I Want A Girl With A Mind Like A Diamond
Mister Macho Man, Is It True?
Lust for Life
No L-O-I-T-E-R-I-N-G Allowed
Ever Fallen in Love With Somone You Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love With?
There She Goes...
You're Older Than You've Ever Been. And now You're Even Older.
34 Cent Stamps.
Wish You Were Here
That girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood.
Oh, by the way...
You Know...
-Giving My Goodbye
I'm Gonna Play All Night.
Well I'm Just a Modern Guy...
Run Away.
Something in the Way
The Fact That I Adore You is Just One of My Truths.
It's Over.
Ho boy I'm Fat!
The funny thing is, trhurler lurks and reads this...
The Plan...
Why do I feel good today?
Shit I'm Horny!
Damn damn damn.
Good Day
Much and more...
Let the Bible Belt Come and Save My Soul.
A Query.
I know why Europeans hate Americans...
Ok How I Wish...
Rich Man
Thank Goodness.
Yule is Coming!
Unfettered Boobies
Here We Go...
Dinner Tonight.
You know...

Yes, that's right, how do you tell a woman that her boyfriend is most certainly a dick? I don't mean the "Oh, this a girl I'd really like to shag, but she's attached to someone more attractive/richer/smarter than I am so I'll do my geeky best to paint him as some barbarian." No, I mean "This girl is not that attractive, and I certainly don't want her, but her self-esteem issues have pushed her to the very brink of marriage with a guy who is quite obviously a jack-ass."

I've been really relictant to pass judgement on things so far. I mean, I got a vibe from the guy the moment I met him, but I know that sometimes my alpha-male side can kick in, and I wanted to be certain that it wasn't just some desire for superiority that was cauing the whole thing.

My feelings were confirmed a little when my girlfriend agreed with me on the situation. See, origionally, this couple, my girlfriend, another female friend of ours, and I were going to move into a big place together. Instead, I blocked the move, with help from a slow-moving apartment complex, and we ended up in three different places (my girlfriend and I in a two-bedroom, this other couple in another two bedroom on the other end of the complex, and the friend in her vacationing cousin's apartment).

As I've gotten to know the guy better, my feeling weren't at all eased. The fact that I had to loan him and his girlfriend fourty dollars for rent last month, and that despite their dire financial straights, they're recently aquired a pair of kittens, hasn't helped things.

Finally, though, the confirmation that I needed came, when the friend we were going to move in with and I were having a conversation. The issue of this guy came up, and she told me how she herself felt that he was doing quite a bit of damage to himself, and his girlfriend. How he gets pass-out-on-the-stairs-outside drunk at least once a week. How he brings his friends over and smokes up all the time, usually in the living room and sometimes with the front door open.

There were other thing, like his former coke habit and issues that aren't as easy to describe. We both lamented on the potential (and real) harm that he could cause his girlfriend (who was our friend before we even met him.)

Perhaps there's nothing we can do. Maybe we just have to sit back and let things run their course, allowing her to make her own mistakes and learn from them. Still, there is a desire to protect her, and a fear that this guy could spin out of controll and cause harm to more than just them.

I guess the best I can do now is cover my own, be sympathetic, and go on with my life. After all, that's the one I'm ultimantly responsible for...


Yeah this situation is a pain in the arse (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by bc on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 04:34:54 PM PST
And the bitch of a thing is that you can't exactly go around breaking up other people's engagements.

And that's the bottom line.

♥, bc.

The sheer arrogance is staggering (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 04:38:31 PM PST
You presume to 'know what's best' for somebody else, and yet you don't seem to be able to just come out and say it to their face ?

Does anyone else see a contradiction here ? It sounds to me like you don't want to rock the boat.

If you really have a problem with the guy, tell your friend what your concerns are. Then you have done your bit. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.

Reality Check (3.00 / 2) (#3)
by sventhatcher on Mon Jul 23rd, 2001 at 07:58:53 PM PST
Didn't you know that girls are inherently attracted to guys that are "exciting" which is another way of saying "treat them like crap"?

Perhaps you should be grateful that while this guy may not be the best influence on her life, at least he isn't beating her or emotionally abusing her in any blatant and especially painful way.

You've either gotta confront her or give it up.

If you can't confront her, the level of trust is too low between the two of you for your advice to help anyway.

--Sven (now with bonus weblog vanity site! (MLP sold seperately))


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