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No Natalie Portman 100%

Votes: 7

 The Truth Behind ESR's Sex Tips

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jul 16, 2001

Eric Raymond sat at his computer terminal, the blue glow bathing his balding scalp in radiation. Using his favorite open-source tools, he gave a final review of the portable network graphics image. Eric smiled subconsciouly at the face beaming back at him - an old, black and white photo of Ricardo Montalban, made up for his groundbreaking role as Armando in Escape from the Planet of the Apes.


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Eric gave the image a final cropping, trimming it down to the bare essentials before saving it to the 3.2 gigabyte Fujitsu hard drive paid for with his newfound wealth. Using more open-source tools, he attached the image to his GPL'ed ICQ client and sent the image to the fourteen year old girl nicknamed CherryDeelite.

He waited patiently.

"wow, u r a hotee," came the reply.

Eric smiled and wiped back a few greasy strands of hair with his sweating and trembling hand. Quickly, he prepared his notebook of sex-tips and dipped his quil into a bottle of freshly-opened ink.

"thanx, u r 2 ;)," he replied.

"who is ur fave backstreet boy?"

Eric turned even more pale than normal. His mind reeled. Without thinking, he blurted out the first name he thought of, "Ringo."

A long pause greeted him. He wiped the perspiration from his forhead.

"u r funee!"

Eric breathed a sigh of relief. He grabbed his quil and scribbled in his sex-tips notebook, "women like humor."

"what is ur fave subject in school?"

An easy one, "open-source software."

"wow, u must be smart!"

"women like intelligence," he noted.

And then he finds out the cute teen girl is really RMS and he becomes gay or something.



as always (none / 0) (#1)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 07:34:45 PM PST
as short as it was , i laughed

You're the perfect person (none / 0) (#2)
by osm on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 07:41:30 PM PST
to steal this and make it into something longer...

asdfasdfasdf (none / 0) (#3)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 08:09:34 PM PST
is that a plagiarism implication, or an invitation?

an invitation... (none / 0) (#4)
by osm on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 09:15:46 PM PST
i was going to do more with it, but got lazy... you could finish it the way it should be.

well (none / 0) (#6)
by Trollaxor on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 09:42:46 PM PST
i might. that's clever. had you not commented on what you had in mind, i think the story would have gone on with ESR meeting this "girl" for a rendesvouz and finding it to be the bearded RMS, and them having sex anyway.

maybe i will go on with in some way.

whatever you think best... (none / 0) (#7)
by osm on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 10:10:18 PM PST

p.s. (none / 0) (#5)
by osm on Tue Jul 17th, 2001 at 09:21:27 PM PST
my initial vision was have the conversation slowly start turning into a free software/open source battle. with the replies from the girl slowly turning into things like, "you must be careful how you define 'clitoris'." etc...


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