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Sexual activity most deserving of central government funds?
Cunnilingus 15%
Fellatio 26%
Frottage 15%
Masturbation 38%
Barratry 3%

Votes: 26

 The Gay Tax

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Jun 27, 2001
Many people will regard the imposition of a tax on male homosexuals as a controversial move; some might even see it as (on the face of it) bordering on the illiberal. It is not my intention to stir up needless controversy, however. I merely wish to make what might in saner times be considered an obvious point; that it is far better, given that the government wastes every penny of money given to it, that the incidence of taxation fall heaviest on those members of society whose propensity to waste their own money is highest.

[editor's note, by jsm]Of course no story about pointless consumption would be complete without a link to the Online Boutique. I heartily recommend it to all our readers of a "lavender" persuasion.


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Everyone knows, and a few clever souls have already managed to exploit commercially the fact that gay men will buy almost any old crap as long as it is marketed to them as being in some way "camp" or "ironic". This constitutes a de facto "gay tax", levied by the private sector, and used in the production of valueless, joyless, soulless plastic crap.

This makes no sense. In the United Kingdom, we have something called the "National Health Service", which cures us when we are ill and gives us a free dental check up when we reach the age of retirement. In the United Kingdom we also have something called the "tedious fucking NHS government spending bore", which is a kind of person who, whenever the government spends money on providing mindless entertainment for we poor proles, pipes up with a self-righteous whine of "That Money Could Have Been Spent On The NHS!!!!". Preferably illustrated with a picture of a poor little kiddy/granny, who has had to wait for their nasal polyp operation for a few weeks longer because the government dared to hand some of the public's money back to the public.

This kind of argument is, of course, indefensible. But nevertheless, it sticks in the craw a bit to see roads go unrepaired and dead dogs rot in the streets while the gays of this country waste their money on Hello Kitty oven gloves. Tax it and use the money for AIDS research; even the gays would be in support of that, probably.

This would also be a progressive tax in that statistics show that gay men are typically better off than the national average. Lesbians, on the other hand, typically earn less than the national average. So by this logic, they ought to be subsidised. Can we build a "Rainbow Coalition" behind the idea of subsidised lesbianism? I like to think so.

Radical ideas never have it easy. But I think that this proposal will find more support than most.


You have some nerve (none / 0) (#1)
by qp on Wed Jun 27th, 2001 at 08:11:39 AM PST
While I agree that lesbians are certainly in need of government subsidy, imposing a tax on gay men is simply wrong. Perhaps I should forgive you, living as you do in such a topsy-turvy country as the United Kingdom, but here in the civilized world the middle class breeding stock is most deserving of government taxation. They waste absurd amounts of money on their whiny little brats, and these funds could no doubt be better used elsewhere.

Thus, I believe that the most equitable solution is allow the middle class to continue to breed like rabbits, but to sell their children to the third world so that they can be used for cheap labor, or soup. Unfortunately, the third world does not have any money, but I do not doubt that this difficulty can be rectified through the judicious application of appropriate legislation.


"Hey qp, where are you? You missed the nudie shots about three minutes ago!" -- Jin Wicked
And so, I died.

You make little sense, injun. (none / 0) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Jul 19th, 2001 at 12:52:39 PM PST
I think that the very least the gay male populace owes us breeders for the precious gift of AIDS is a little tax. Besides, everyone knows poor blacks and hispanics breed like rabbits, not middle-class whites. The money we "waste" on our kids is a necessary expense in order to carry the burden of reproduction given to us by gays who have no hope of ever bearing, er, fruit. So, to sum up: AIDS + weight of survival of the human race on our backs = tax on gays.


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