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 Good Morning Nobile Sirs

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 09, 2001
 Comments:
I am here to write about our "friend" Sylvester Q McNamera. You see, you are under the mistaken impression that he, not I nor the Noble Adequacy Editors, is the most intelligent person on this up-to-date inter-net news site. You would be sadly mistaken to belive him. He is really only the janitor of the rocket science lab. While he claims to have gotten back from rehab, this has really translated into a 12-week bender while taking hard core drugs

I am here to let you know that rest assured, I am the most intelligent person on adequacy. If you have any questions regarding my intelligence, or need any indefinite intergals differentiated, I am your new, loving PhD in the house.

However, while I would like to discuss life with you peons, I must go sip dry martinis, smoke imported cuban cigars, and eat queche while discussing crude iron import negotiations with the former soviet KGB government. If you need me, I will be with the editors in our highrise executive meeting room.

Good day to you sirs.

--
Dr. Martino Cortez, PhD.

diaries

More diaries by Martino Cortez PhD
Dearest Adequacy Readors
Deor Adequecy Readers
Martin-Cortez Newsletter, Issue 1 v I
Martin-Cortez Newsletter - Issue 2, Vol I
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 3, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 4, Vol 1
Martin-Cortez Financial Newsletter Issue 5, Vol 1
Dear Anonymous Reader Sir,
Help Save Me!!!
Martin Cortez Newsletter, Issue 5, Vol 1.
Dr William King Sir,
Martin Cortez Newsletter
Good Evening Dear Sirs,
Sir, Wherefore art thou adequate?
Dearest Adequacy Readers,
Dear Sirs,
Mr. Milosovic Sir,
Sirs,
A plea from a busy corporate executive
Sirs,
Dear Sirs,
Sirs,


       
Tweet

Dear Sirs, (none / 0) (#1)
by osm on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 11:48:49 AM PST
As a respected member of the Elite Intelligentsia, I would like to know your opinion of young girls. Specifically, girls half your age.


Noble osm sir (5.00 / 1) (#2)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 12:10:28 PM PST
Greetings OSM,

While I would like discuss this topic of girls, I have very important research at hand.

As a respected member of our elite intelligentsia, you are well aware of the fact that most of the lower order people will not relate to our supermodel girlfriends. Their feeble minds simply cannot wrap around the fact that our women have better breasts, are better in bed, and are more tackful, educated, respected and wealthy then anything they could get their unwashed hands on. As a result, I think it is better that we discuss this topic over a round of golf. Shall we meet at your place, or mine?

Also, I will be hosting a dinner party at my costarican mansion this weekend. You do remember the secret knock, correct? It appears as if the fine upstanding members of OPEC will not be able to make it this time. They seem to have some issues with their homeland security. This it too bad. Rest assured, for the nights entertainment, Kenny G promised to show up and give an excellent post dinner concert. Please tell your pilot to not fly over the house. Last time, he seemed to have broken some of the wine glasses I purcheced in lower Turkey from that small child.




--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Ha ha, "tackful"!! (none / 0) (#3)
by tkatchev on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 01:42:54 PM PST
I wish I could immortalize that typo somehow, this is just too unreal.


--
Peace and much love...




what's unreal (none / 0) (#4)
by nathan on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 01:52:24 PM PST
Is the thought of an academic living the life of a film star, baseball player, corporation head, or some such.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Forgive me. (none / 0) (#8)
by tkatchev on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 02:22:04 PM PST
I'm not aware of the current trends in American higher education -- things change too quickly -- but can you get a PhD in, say, basket weaving, or rap music appreciation, or somesuch? That would explain much of the weirdness that goes on here.


--
Peace and much love...




no idea. (none / 0) (#10)
by nathan on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 02:55:20 PM PST
If I were in grad school in the USA I'd be able to tell you (=

I'm pretty sure you can get alot of undergrad rap classes at UC Berkeley. I don't know about a degree...

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

 
Only in Barkely (none / 0) (#11)
by osm on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 05:32:38 PM PST
the undulating center hive of socialism in the universe.


 
Good day sir (none / 0) (#18)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 11:04:03 PM PST
It has been a pleasure talking to all of you on this brillian sunday. I have just gotten off the golf course with Bob Barker of the Price Is Right fame.

Sir, I have decided I will disclose my Curriculum Vitae in an upcoming diary.

Once again, thanks for your interest and good day to you again sirs


--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

 
On purpose? (none / 0) (#19)
by Hagbard Celine on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 11:54:35 AM PST
Perhaps I should mispell something on purpose to look high-class but I don't think I will. I wanted to respond to your question about American higher education.

I attended the #11 liberal arts college in the U.S. and graduated with a degree in Russian.

Now I'm attending another school for a graduate degree in computer science.

At my undergraduate school, there was a B.A. degree offered with the title of "American Studies". Some of my best friends were American Studies majors.

What did they study?

Dunno, I was too busy translating Gogol and Bulgakov, but I do know that they sure can write well.

In summation I'd like to say that I haven't heard of any basket-weaving or rap degrees. Of course, I went to school in the midwest and not the west coast.


The Midwest. (none / 0) (#21)
by tkatchev on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 12:55:08 AM PST
The Midwest might be boring, but it's definitely a better place to live in.

Off topic: Did you notice the outright satanist motives in "Master and Margarita"? Ironic, since it's a book that many consider to be a Christian work.


--
Peace and much love...




 
Problem (none / 0) (#13)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 06:17:11 PM PST
Nathan, you really seem tohave a problem with persons academic. Have you had a bad experience in the academy - for example, not being allowed in?


shrug (none / 0) (#14)
by nathan on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 07:16:29 PM PST
I'm currently pursuing a graduate degree at the top university in the country, both overall and in my field; I hold an undergrad with highest honors from a nationally ranked U.S. school; so, in a word, no.

Anyway, I don't really have problems with 'the academy;' you might be thinking of some of our other distinguished contributors. I was simply saying that professors tend not to make bling-bling in the same league as major figures in extra-academic fields. Reread the post - it tests around Flesch-Kinkaid 8 or so, so it ought to be easily digested by almost anyone.

Nathan
PS - I try to keep it simple, as a courtesy. But if you'd like I can use shorter words...
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

 
And you sir (none / 0) (#6)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 02:02:25 PM PST
Are jealous. While you sit around in your lowly third world shack flipping burgers while nitpicking my spelling, I will be enjoying another round of golf with some of the most respected, renowned citizens of our world. I have a team of young, nubile females who dictate every post I write on this so called "inter-net". Right now, as I speak this, I am looking at a lovely view of lower central park while sipping fine imported wine.

As for my dectractors, I will have you know that while I am indeed one of the most intelligent people on the inter-net, my high IQ goes to high-finance and predicting the stock market.

Your stock tip of the day - @Home seems to be a clear winner. While they may have some short term problems with getting bought out, I belive that in the end, their excellent inter-net infrastructure, as well as their friendly, curtious, helpfull tech support will provide for a sound, long-term investment.

Good day to you sir,




--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

I knew it was a fraud when... (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by nathan on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 02:09:20 PM PST
"Enjoying" golf? Heh.

Nathan
--
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

 
Sir, (none / 0) (#9)
by tkatchev on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 02:26:28 PM PST
A serious question: are you by any chance a Mexican?


--
Peace and much love...




 
You know (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by alprazolam on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 05:48:20 PM PST
It is illegal to give advice regarding stock that you own without disclosing your ownership. Thanks.


Kindest Gentlefolk (none / 0) (#16)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 10:50:16 PM PST
I am dissapointed in you sir. For you fail to realise that your silly "rules" only apply to those not wealthy enough to buy their freedom.
<p>Again, good day sir.
<p>


--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

I am astounded by your lack of ethics (none / 0) (#23)
by alprazolam on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 05:49:33 PM PST
Have you no integrity?


 
Self Sufficiency (none / 0) (#22)
by rjd on Tue Dec 11th, 2001 at 04:56:41 AM PST
If I may deign to interrupt sir, may I suggest that you learn to stand on your own two feet, and end the employ of those nubile young females you mentioned? A person has no place on a debating site, if he is merely retyping the dictations of a few people in the background, acting as a conduit for their thoughts.

May I humbly suggest you stop typing whatever they tell you to, and start to think for yourself, eliciting your own thoughts upon these hallowed boards, so we may enjoin in intellectual debate as two individuals on level terms?


 
You do indefinite integrals? (none / 0) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 01:59:07 PM PST
Thank you, I've been looking for someone of your level of intelligence to help me. I've been trying to figure out ∫sin(x²) dx for the longest time, without luck. I'm sure you know the answer, though.


Young Math Pupil (none / 0) (#17)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 10:58:34 PM PST
While my team of child laborers in south korea have been trying and trying to correctly solve this problem, we have so far not been able to come up with the answer.

Our brighest at Martino Laboratories, Inc. have so far not been able to come up with an answer. Even Maple 6, a so called "computer program" has not been able to solve this simple equational form. As it turns out, it is unsolvable.

Good day to you "Anonymous Reader" sir.


--
Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

 
P.S. Nobile? (none / 0) (#15)
by tkatchev on Sun Dec 9th, 2001 at 10:07:30 PM PST
Noble? Nubile? Mobile?

Enquiring minds want to know. :)


--
Peace and much love...




 
More proof. (5.00 / 1) (#20)
by RobotSlave on Mon Dec 10th, 2001 at 09:45:11 PM PST
Another Seattlite. Ugh.

Further proof that the only two cities on the planet with access to the inter-webly world-net are Seattle and a provincial villaige in Great Britain.


© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

 

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