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 A Detailed Refutement of How to know if your kid is a hacker.

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 06, 2001
[editor's note, by elenchos] Since no other editor has deleted all this, I am venturing that this material is considered to have some value... to someone; I don't know to whom. I will finally at least move this, uh, gob of words, out of the intro and into the body section where it belongs. If the 'body' of a diary had a lower bowel region, this would certainly live there best.

I want Yoda-something here to heed the suggestion to use some whitespace, and to further apply some basic English comp techniques to these long "refutements" he is prone to submit. In the same vein, all competent writers refer to a good dictionary constantly, not just on special occasions. Failing to follow these tenets is, in my view, nothing less than verbal assault upon all Adequacy readers. Indeed, it is terrorism. To use no whitespace whatsoever is, in fact, the literary equivalent not just of using an airplane as a cruise missile, but of using an airplane fully loaded with innocent passengers as a cruise missile. The moral depravity is so difficult to grasp that I shall not even try. I feel violated for even having had to evaluate the merit of such a heinous act.

Shame on you, pseudo-Yoda. Straighten up, or back to the bush leagues with you!


More diaries by Yodason
T Reginald Gibbons hear me.
As I have said earlier I have never hacked Illegaly. There are plenty like me. They are called "White-Hat". I am tired of helping my school secure their computers and later being asked if I will hack (Insert webpage name here). I am just sick of this stereotype sent across by the Media and into the minds of everyone else. I want to get a job someday as A sys Admin for a fortune 500 company. So no flames to me please. I will refute every thing with a valid reason that can be verified. If you find a unvalid refutement tell me and I will attemt to go into further detail providing clearly legidiment sources. For purposes of this A Hacker: Someone who seeks to gain information what they do with that information is up to them A Cracer: Someone who illegally breaks into computer systems Ok now on to the show... 1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs? Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy (error #1 just about all ISPS have a strict policy of do not BREAK the law on their connect, earthlink attbroadband all do.), and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal (error #2 all isps do. If isps have people hacking from their accounts THEY might be held liable However all are not cripled like AOL IMHO. Ever tried playing a game over AOL? Ever tried doing ANYTHING that is not strictly browsing internet over AOL? It does not work as well IMHO). If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider (Error #3 more like a internet provider that is not crippled IMHO.) I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter (Error #4 I am not sure about AOL's filter but most also block non bad stuff. Some block stuff from oposing political views and some block sites that shouldn't be I was reading about a article on a suppreme court decision and it was blocked at my school). This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. (see error #4) It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution (Error #5 ANY web filtering soloution will block legidiment sites and many have hidden political agendas IMHO). If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites. (Error #6 If your kid is a hacker they can get around aol too.) 2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing? Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel (Error #7 almost NO hacker software is under control pannel). Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". (Error #8 These are legidiment programs. Program to change mouse cursor, IM program I believe, and internet explorer plugin.) The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs (Wow something good in this article! Talking to the kid about hacking if you suspect it but DO NOT over react). He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. (See Error #8) If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding. (See Error #8) 3. Has your child asked for new hardware? Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer. (HUGE ERROR #9 Hardware has nothing to do with hacking only software). If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well. (HUGE ERROR #10 AMD is a publicly traded company. That should be proof enough. If its not how can kids make things thiner then a piece of paper?) 4. Does your child read hacking manuals? (Isn't this a well duh?) 5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services.(Error #11 DoSing is Denial of Service. You do not do this from the dos prompt but from programs.) This can take up to eight hours. (Error #12 the command to do it certain ways can take seconds.) If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately.(This IS TRUE) The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day. (Error #13 Simply not true. Many reasons to use computers more then forty-five min a day. This has nothing to do with hacking but is a perental decision on if you think that much computer is good for them. I have spent 15 hours on a computer doing nothing even related to hacking). 6. Does your son use Quake? Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school. (Error #14 SOME quake places may be used as a meeting place however most of the time is NOT. This may cause the behavior but this is NOT a hacking issue but a violance one. <SNIP> 7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour? As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature. (error #15 YESH I thought this was puberty?) Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself. ( see #15) 8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone. (Do reaserch for god sakes error #16 Linus Torvals wrote this. He is a outstanding member of the USA. He made LINUX (spell it right yesh). It is based off of UNIX (written by ATT if I rember right). MANY big corperations use linux ( It is certainly not illgegal. MP3 is a file format not a program althought taking music without paying for it (pirating) is wrong and should be discussed with him. Telnet was not invented by anyone but is a key way of logging remotley into systems. There are LEGIDIMENT uses for it and it was not made by Linus Torvals). Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional. (Error #17 I think.... Its Linux not lunix. Your son can NOT dammage your computer with Linux. Deleting windows does not destroy a computer. It is very easy to reinstalll if you OEM provided the neccesary disks.) If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface. (Error #18 Funny I have reinstalled and uninstalled Linux about 5 times and haven't ever had to destroy my harddrive or send it back to my OEM. Use windows or linux tool "fdisk") 9. Has your son radically changed his appearance? <SNIP> Error 19 This is because of DRUGS or PUBERTY. 10. Is your son struggling academically? <SNIP> Error 20 as with all things computer use NEEDS moderation otherwise it CAN lead to these things but this is NOT a sure sign of hacking. I can watch TV all day and get the same results. I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. (And my comments) Your child's future may depend upon it (Yes if you listen to him your son may never be able to have a very good job as a sys admin which pays very well). Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity (Error 21 You can legally hack if you have permision. Some hackers set up dedicated computers JUST so they can hack legally. Most of the time these are more of a chalenge then hacking a normal computer. They also sometimes have fun competitions using these computers they have permision to hack (Like a sport team and Just as legal).), that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart.(Can't anything?) It cannot be taken too seriously. (This I must agree with. If you suspect your child of hacking talk to him!) Once again I can not stress unlinke this article portraies there ARE LEGAL OPERTUNITIES FOR HACKING. Its like the force in Starwars. Theres a Goodside and a Darkside. Post with comments please.


Flash is hacking software? (1.00 / 4) (#1)
by Darin23 on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 03:48:28 PM PST
I have absolutely no idea what drugs you have been taking but they must be some good ones. Macromedia Flash is NOT hacking software, it's used for webpage enhancements such as buttons, intros, and also there are actual websites that purely flash. Flash isn't even spyware, so I really don't see the logic in your statement. If I really have to I will post a diary entry about spyware, but essentially what it is, is a program or transponder that broadcast or collects information about you. Also there are some types of spyware that actually create security holes for people to exploit. Now with that said you can find out if you have spyware on your computer by downloading Ad-Aware at Get Ad-Aware Here common examples of spyware include KaZaa, "double click" cookies and different transponders, it's time the world became aware of what hacking is and is not. Your school asking you to try to "Hack" their servers to find security holes isn't actually considered hacking, what that is known as among the IT community is cracking. As for you wanting to become a system administrator for a fortune 500 company, we all have to start at the bottom of the ladder so the possibility of you jumping right into a job like that is very very very slim. There really are no tell tale signs your child is a hacker, the only possible way to find out is to see if there are programs such as Back Orifice, Net BUS, Sub Seven are on your computer. Net BUS and Sub seven aren't actually hacking tools they are cracking tools and aren't really all that malicious, however Back Orifice is used by the large majority of HACKERS, some have used this program to hack major corporations. Now as I have said in the previous comments I have made today I advise not only you but EVERYONE to review their facts with realiable sources and believe me there are many on the internet BEFORE posting comments. On a final note, just because someone becomes arguementative or scornful does NOT mean they are hackers it's not even a sign it may actually be an indication of more serious problems such as mental illness. Since most mood disorders manafest themselves in puberty it is completely possible the child could be manic depressive or even schizophrenic, my advice to all parents who are having problems like this with their children is to get them in counselling and quickly. Get them checked out and treated as soon as possible because it WILL become a much more serious problem if it is left to build. The other possibility with anti-social behaviour is drugs, drugs will change a persons personality they could be the most mild mannered induvidual however if they're on drugs they WILL exhibit anti-social behaviour.

READ THE ARTICLE for god sakes (1.00 / 3) (#7)
by Yodason on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 06:28:42 PM PST
You know. I was critizing a article posted here by a idiot claming flash is hacking software. I know what flash is =) If it was a joke then why the heck did enchos keep flaming us back. A simple it was a joke. If its a joke someone say. However given the amount of flamage from both sides it doesn't look like one. And same goes for iidot talking about fortune 500... yesh Read the article!
Sorry bout whitespace incidently typed it in wordpad and copied/pasted and it lost the spacing in the process.

word to the wise. (5.00 / 2) (#8)
by nathan on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 06:35:52 PM PST
If your posts are legible, more people will read them for content.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

PREVIEW THE ARTICLE for god sakes[sic] (none / 0) (#15)
by westgeof on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 06:02:52 AM PST
Copying from wordpad is not enough of an excuse for the lack of whitespace. That's why there's a preview button, so you can look at what you're about to submit before commiting it. You can't just assume that becuase you're a 1337 |-|4X0|2 everything will work out without testing. (And for the record, wearing a white hat does not automatically make you a 'good guy.')

If I was an editor myself, I'd delete it and ask for a resubmission with whitespaces.
As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.

Oh sweet baby jesus at the bus stop (5.00 / 3) (#2)
by Sylvester Q McNamera on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 04:00:25 PM PST
How in the name of baby jesus, my personal saviour, am I supposed to read your tripe without ANY FUCKING WHITESPACE to break up your nebulous dribble. I suppose it's just like a true right wing post moderninst liberal to expect us God fearing conservatives to just make do the best we can, but I'm here to tell you that THIS INSUFFERABLBLE CRAP IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ WITH NO FUCKING WHITESPACE

May God have mercy on your nefarious soul...

Best wishes,
--S.Q. McNamera

Geek inability to communicate with humans (5.00 / 2) (#5)
by neflon on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 05:16:14 PM PST
I didn't read it either, but it looks like a complete copy of Mr Gibbons' original story spliced with yet another [FSF/GNU/communist] hacker apologist rant. There's some stuff about a secret government conspiracy too. It's just like, but with even more spelling mistakes.

Odds are it's a troll. He claims to be a SysAdmin for a Fortune 500, but he's still to master the difficult art of inserting HTML tags. He also claims that nobody invented telnet. He claims to be Yoda, but he doesn't even talk backwards. WTS?

D00d, (5.00 / 1) (#10)
by tkatchev on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 08:04:04 PM PST
I thought you were going to teach us all a lesson by leaving in disgst. Why do you keep coming back for more?

Peace and much love...

I ask you: (4.75 / 4) (#3)
by nathan on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 04:05:11 PM PST
"Is this a hacker?"

It is a suffering human being who can't write.

It is one totally ignorant of his cultural heritage.

It is a person far more concerned with a software market-share skirmish than with the deaths of thousands of his fellow human beings.

It is one who has created a personal identity through being a fan[1].

I don't know if this is a hacker. Hath not a hacker eyes, etc.? Whatever it is, I suggest thorough re-education at the hand of the love squads of the Anointed One.

[1] For more details, see Ortega, The Rise of the Masses.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

"It cannot be taken too seriously." (3.00 / 2) (#4)
by Webcow on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 05:16:04 PM PST
Ahehe... the internet has a little problem with showing tongue-in-cheek humor. C'mon though, don't take everything so seriously!

I hafta agree with you on most if not all of your points, but read it over now. Sounds kinda silly considering that it's attacking a satirical post.

As far as I know, that hacking thing was meant to be funny.


The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (by Douglas Adams)

The Onion Online Newspaper

Fade To Black Online Magazine

it may very well have been meant that (1.00 / 2) (#6)
by Yodason on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 06:22:01 PM PST
It may have very meant well to been funny... However I rember some guy enchos? maybe in comments threating to report people to the FBI or something. Is that funny? Point being the hackers have been told time againt point blank that we are wrong and stuff. It very well may have been a joke, but if so you guys need to stop attacking us and say so.

FREE PORN FROM HACKERS! (3.00 / 2) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 6th, 2001 at 07:39:37 PM PST
This has been a fun set of posts! I can't believe that there are people in the on line world who still think that HACKING is a crime. Look up the word Hacking on line.
Cut and past little hackers!

Here is a good link to answer the questions concerning hacking.

I am a student of Network Securities. I have written several papers on the subject and would be happy to share them with anyone who wants them. I would leave my E-mail adders, but I don't want my AOL account hacked! LOL

I'm a White Hat from way back! I still have my $500 Vic-20 up and running at home! The guy who did the original article was grossly misinformed, and should be drug in to the street and stoned, but because I'm a hacker, I don't want to miss the new episode of Enterprise and South Park. If someone with more mussels could do it for me I would thank them, and give them any of the massive amounts of porn I have on my Novell server! (Am I a hacker because I use Novell?)


Hacking is simply using a computer and using it well. If you can reed a web page you are a hacker of some kind. You got here didn't you?!?! So dose that make you a hacker? No I don't think so either... Just go to the link above and reed about this stuff before you jump in and make judgements about anything.

Collen Dee ROCKS

Right On (none / 0) (#14)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 04:46:41 AM PST
Don' know about you but according to this article I am a hacker, guess I better start buying jeans that are a few sizes too large hey?

Oh damn! I've run out of hair dye - that's kewl I'll just grab some bleach!

Now I LOOK like a hacker!


For Shame (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by Dr Hieronymus Paradox on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 02:17:21 AM PST
As a noted American University metalinguistics scholar and father of six, I believe that Mr. (or Mrs. (or Ms.)) Yodason has entirely missed the point of the insightful article respectfully submitted by Mr. Gibbons on the Dangers of "Hacking" and "Children".

I happen to know Mr. Gibbons personally to the extent that "T Reginald Gibbons" is not his real name but rather his nom de plume cribbed by the pluralisation of the famed scholar of Roman Empiricism and its Subsequent Decline. His real monniker, which I shall not reveal for National Security reasons, is better represented by the initials M.B. As for his lovely wife Carol, and his fine upstanding Christian Children, Gregory, Marcia, Peter, Janice, Robert and Cynthia, they have no nom de plume, but this is not the issue at hand.

Dear me, no, I set out to reply to Mr. Yodason's complete and utter misreading of "Mr. Gibbons's" tireless WARNING against the evils of hackers and hackery.

For one thing, as a practising linguist, I find it an abhorrently reprehensible shibboleth that Mr. Yodason saw fit to utilize every conceivable piece of whitespace for his "refutement", or as we learn'd folk say "refutation". This does not stand. Nor does it sit, recline or even laze happily in a sunchair.

I forgot my train of thought there for a second...Oh yes, Mr. Yodason's refutement is as groundless as it is a plenum. Does he not realize that EVIL forces lurk in the "Cyber-Spaces" of the "Inter-Net"? Does he not realize that these samesaid forces seek to poison the minds of our youth with gratuitous images of scatophiles lazing in their satanic Barcaloungers, drinking Pepsis and selling Tiny Little Cameras so our Daughters can post Pornographic pictures to their 40-year-old "Boy-Friends"? Does he not realize that Santa is merely an anagram for Satan? Assuredly not, and I would beat him to within an inch of his sadly misguided life with my Land's End buggywhip were it not new.

It is time for my Nap now, Mr. Yodason--if that IS your REAL name. Most assuredly it is your "Hacking Handle" with which you "hack" fine upstanding Inter-Net Web-Sites and AOL accounts. Shame on You and other digital scalawags of your ilk. Military tribunals are too good for you and if you continue your scurrilous screeds against fine upstanding Christian Protectorates such as "Mr. Gibbons" and Myself, we shall see to it that you shall get none of brownies which "Mr. Gibbons's" maidservant, Alice, so cheekily and obediently bakes every Christ-Mas.

Res Ipsa Loquitor,
HP, PhD.

Is White Space all that you can bitch about (1.00 / 1) (#13)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 7th, 2001 at 04:44:12 AM PST
Look at the content of the rebuttal you small minded idiot.

Oh no, "small minded" and "idiot" are a tautology, oh no! I did spell 'tautology' correct.

Before you type a reply to this remember to take your hand off your dick - oh you can type with one hand? excellent.



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