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 I need advice..the ex,or the new guy?

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 28, 2001
Hello there. Dan is coming over today!!!!!! I'm so happy!! Ok..something happened last night. Nick (my ex boyfriend who I went out with for a year and a half)Imed me and asked me to come to the movies with him. I was weirded out cuz the last time he asked me to hang out he wanted hed. So I went and we saw Vanilla Sky(Great movie). Anyway, he started putting his arm around me and tickling me and telling me how he doesn't care about sex anymore. I thought it was cute and the whole night was like dejavu. He smelled exactly the same. Then he kissed me. I didn't know what to do so I went along with it. Later I was thinking about Dan, and even though we weren't going out, I felt almost like I was being unfaithful to Dan just by being there. So when I got home I wrote him a LOOONG email about how we can't do this because it brings back old felings. He wrote back about how he is starting to have feelings for me again and the movies reminded him about how good we used to be together. I don't know what to do. I like Dan now. I think thats who Imma guna stay with. ~Jess~

More diaries by Nailed 2 Trent Reznor


Dear Jess, (5.00 / 1) (#1)
by osm on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 07:37:53 AM PST
As an innocent by-stander, I think you should know that Nick is a flaming homosexual and Dan is a lubricating midget. You need to find someone who will show you how a woman should be treated.

I am not interested in sex either. Please come over to my apartment tonight and watch "Leon" with me. I must say, reading your diary entry did bring back some old feelings too. I would like to explore my feelings with you. I have all of Nine Inch Nail's CDs and I have a big poster of... umm... Trent Reznor.

I promise if you come over, I will not ask you for HED and I won't make you dress up like Queen Amidala.


huh (none / 0) (#2)
by Nailed 2 Trent Reznor on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 07:40:26 AM PST
what was that??

I suppose I should clarify (none / 0) (#3)
by osm on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 07:45:53 AM PST
Do you have experience with automatic weapons? I am looking for an associate to help me with my work. I could teach you the theory and you can clean up the cat box, buy me milk, etc. in payment.

osm (none / 0) (#7)
by PotatoError on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 07:16:16 PM PST
If you are looking for a contract killer then although I dont know any personally (or non-personally), I recommend using Yahoo chat. There are lots of people willing on there and they dont charge too much either :)


Dear Miss, (none / 0) (#4)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 08:05:16 AM PST
Do not listen to this man. While he claims not to be interested in sex, I can assure you this is the only thing his high intellect is after.

You should forget both of these fine low class gentlemen you mention in your diary, and work for me. You will get your own home, four nude males to serve you* , and clean your house. Your job description will be to serve me, naked. I can assure you, while I am interested in sex, the fact that there are twenty of you serving me means that you will not have to put out more then once every twenty days (unless I'm feeling "wild"). If you are interested, please respond.

*Thanks to an ongoing lawsuit with Big Gay Al, my legal team requires me to mention that we will stock your room with naked humans of your sexual preferance.

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright 2002, Martino Cortez.

Dear child, your instincts are right (none / 0) (#5)
by Adam Rightmann on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 08:22:02 AM PST
to avoid any attempt at oral sex, which you charmingly spelled hed. A man who was concerned about your future would not ask you about for that, instead he would be concerned with Lenten preparations. Stick with teh new guy, and I hope you have a long, happy, fruitful time together.

A. Rightmann

advice for the young at heart (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by dirty monkey man on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 10:13:09 AM PST
as a person in a successful long-term relationship (12 years :) ) i have learned the following through my own firsthand experience: nothing matters except for the amount of money you have and the quality and frequency of your orgasms.

see, once you get past the first four years of a relationship, all that tickling and movie-watching stuff; no matter who are and who you are with, they will eventually irritate you unceasingly. you will learn to disguise your loathing (as will they) as you both take the path of least resistance to the cold grave that awaits us all.

kind of a bummer, but hey don't worry! :)

the first secret is that in order to make it all bearable you must surround yourself with nice things to distract you from this dead love that rots in your chest like a stinking tumor. money is important. notice how much happier the rich are than the poor. why? that's easy stupid, it's the money! your perfect mate will have lots of it for you to spend on whatever your heart desires.

the second secret is that sex will go an amazingly long way towards helping you maintain a positive mental attitude. like the old saying 'hate sex is great sex', there's no reason that you can't have good sex with someone you loathe. and amazingly enough, after each powerful teeth-rattling orgasm, you will find yourself experiencing what scientists call the afterglow, a short period of time characterized by intense feelings of well-being and relaxation. enjoy it while it lasts! soon you'll be back in the real world, with some fat jerk snoring next to you while you try not to puke from the stink of his rancid ejaculate coagulating on your belly.

so in closing, i think you should make your decision based on which of these guys has the best future earning potential (FEP) and which is the better cocksman. and if it's a split, go for the money.

good luck and let us know what happens!


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