Adequacy front page
Stories Diaries Polls Users

Home About Topics Rejects Abortions
This is an archive site only. It is no longer maintained. You can not post comments. You can not make an account. Your email will not be read. Please read this page if you have questions.
Yes, please. Tasty! Delicious! 63%
No, thanks. Ew! Gross! 5%
Only if it is free of antibiotics and hormones and other stuff that my fragile digestive tract can not tolerate. 15%
I'll eat it, but I don't cook it or order it for myself. 5%
Is murder. I will now deface your shoes and jacket. 10%
I am British, and Meat scares the holy living fuck out of me. 0%

Votes: 19

 Irresponsible Meat Judge

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 17, 2001
This here article in the New York Times has pissed me off.

More diaries by RobotSlave
How much Xanax will be adequate?
I am speechless.
How to Smash Global Industrial Capitalism Without Leaving Your Bar-Stool
Down Time
A Formal reminder.
Ice Cores
Prepare the Huskies
Circus Roboticus
Idle Amusements
Helpful Tip
Why "Hacker?"
Bloody Mary
Declaration of War
Report from the War Department.
Confidential to Karel Jenczek
Dear Mr. Script Kiddie, Sir:
Deletion Notice
The article covers a court decision that says the US government can't shut down a meat plant just becuase it has failed some dumb salmonella test three times.

That's not a problem. It's going to take more than a few lousy pathogens to scare me away from tasty, nutritious Meat. What gets my goat is the quote near the end of the article from the Judge who made the decision, noting that:

"American housewives and cooks normally are not ignorant or stupid and their methods of preparing and cooking food do not ordinarily result in salmonellosis." (emphasis added)

Here's the rub: everyone knows that housewives have no business cooking Meat. Tasty, delicious Meat should only be prepared by Men, preferably outdoors over an open flame. Now, the quote is a little ambiguous, as it does not refer directly to tasty Meat, so this could be a case of Irresponsible Journalism rather than Tainted Justice, but either way, an apology is in order.


so... (none / 0) (#1)
by ana on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 02:39:50 PM PST
Why does the New York Times think they need to know my sex before I'm allowed to read their silly newspaper?

I'm perfectly prepared with bogus e-mail addresses, so their spam can go to the devil who spawned it, but they got no business askin me personal stuff like the cut of my undies.

Why not?

If you're an interesting, Adequate persion... (none / 0) (#3)
by because it isnt on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 02:54:28 PM PST
then revealing your gender should not reveal the cut of your undies. -- because it isn't

True, but... (none / 0) (#4)
by ana on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 03:03:32 PM PST
revealing your gender should not reveal the cut of your undies

But they wanted to know my sex, not my gender.


Why not?

As a red-bloeded male, (none / 0) (#5)
by because it isnt on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 03:16:56 PM PST
I can understand any other red-blooded man wishing to "know your sex", but a newspaper wanting to know? That's what I'd call sexual harrassment. -- because it isn't

Perhaps you should change your name, then. (none / 0) (#8)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:14:04 PM PST
Change your name to "ano".

Hmmm maybe not.

Dear Ana, (none / 0) (#10)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:52:53 PM PST
Do you prefer bikini or French cut, or perhaps a thong?

--The New York Times

Dear Newspaper, (none / 0) (#12)
by Lint on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 02:46:46 AM PST
I am a woman, but I highly enjoy cooking tasty, nutritious meat over an open flame. Does this make me a man?


Concerned in Kalamazoo

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you. Bill Hicks

Dear C in K, (none / 0) (#14)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 09:49:38 AM PST
The New York Times does not recognize the existence of "Kalamazoo."

Yours sincerely,
The New York Times

But it could be worse. (none / 0) (#2)
by Hagbard Celine on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 02:53:33 PM PST
I wholeheartedly agree that housewives should be kept from preparing meat.

However, I find the decision here quite frightening.

If the USDA cannot close a plant that is not meeting standards for different bacteria, what's the point of the agency in the first place?

What if had been something more deadly, like the bacteria that killed some people in the US?

Stop pretending to be a Man. (5.00 / 1) (#6)
by elenchos on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 04:07:51 PM PST
Real Men have no interest in pre-captured, pre-killed, pre-inspected and pre-processed "meat". That isn't MEAT. That is pablum, little boy food. Naturally it is cooked by houswives for sniveling little boys who cry and whimper at the scary thought of a little bit of salmonella or e. coli on their "meat", and so they worry that the judge they need to protect their "meat" for them isn't enough of a "man" to inspect it properly.

Bah! Real Men need NOBODY else to go and capture and kill (for those daintys who eat it killed) and tear apart their Meat. And don't even start with your prissy talk of "knives" or this gay "fire" you need. Go back to the Girl Scouts!

The likes of you have no business even thinking about trying to get and eat Meat! You'll be in tears the second you get a little blood on the front of your dress.


I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

And the scales fell from my eyes. (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by RobotSlave on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 05:48:51 PM PST
Did you see that, boat people? Are you beginning to understand why some are adequacy editors, and the rest of us can only hope to get close enough to them to grovel at their feet?

Why, I wouldn't be a scrap of what I am today without the casual insult that I have been lucky enough to recieve, blessedly on more than one occasion, from an adequacy editor.

I am feeling much better, now that I have subdued a bear and eaten its Meat, but I must admit to a certain shame, for I had to use my teeth to tear the shivering Meat into dainty little fist-sized pieces before swallowing. I am so humiliated. And excited.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

I'll show you teeth. (none / 0) (#9)
by nathan on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 06:29:38 PM PST
Once you're finished describing your vile, bestial exploits, you can go fetch me a beer. Make sure it's cold this time, dammit, or else we'll see who the bear is around here. Come to think of it, we're going to do that anyway. And don't even get me started on "quivering" or "fist-sized," Slave.

Master Nathan
Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Hot date! Hot date! (none / 0) (#11)
by RobotSlave on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 08:46:24 PM PST
I'll go and launder the special underthings, Master.

Slave promises that Slave will not be thinking about elenchos while we are playing tonight. No, sir. Not a bit.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Question (none / 0) (#13)
by hauntedattics on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 08:14:52 AM PST
And what, might I ask, will you two be playing at this evening? Football? Navy submarine?

the game (none / 0) (#15)
by nathan on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 09:56:02 AM PST
We'll be playing "Portman and Habermann." After that, we'll be playing "Guess the Word." To wrap things up, we'll be playing viola sonatas.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.


All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. Comments are owned by the Poster. The Rest ® 2001, 2002, 2003 The name, logo, symbol, and taglines "News for Grown-Ups", "Most Controversial Site on the Internet", "Linux Zealot", and "He just loves Open Source Software", and the RGB color value: D7D7D7 are trademarks of No part of this site may be republished or reproduced in whatever form without prior written permission by and, if and when applicable, prior written permission by the contributing author(s), artist(s), or user(s). Any inquiries are directed to