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Christmas is
child abuse 10%
a pernicious capitalist myth 20%
irrelevant: happy channukah! 0%
irrelevant: happy winter solstice! 5%
a good excuse to get drunk and fuck one of your coworkers 35%
almost here! I want a Frodo action figure! 30%

Votes: 40

 Christmas is child abuse

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 16, 2001
The holidays are upon us once again, and once again we wince, grunt, and heave ashoulder the knee-wobbling burden of holiday stress. Suicide rates will edge higher as sensitive types succumb to holiday-induced depression. Household finances everywhere will teeter toward bankruptcy after absorbing the hit form the obligatory round of gift-purchasing. Otherwise happy people will be forced to endure soul-numbing visits with distant relatives who they cannot stand, and who they will never see for the remainder of the year.


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Feh. Why do we put ourselves through this ritualized misery? No one likes Christmas. Every year everyone repeats the same gripes about the same things. Money and parties and buying gifts for tiresome ingrates and hassling with decorations. Why haven't we simply abandoned this pointless and oppressive ceremony? Oh yes, I forgot: Christmas is a holiday for children.

Children delight in the holidays. Their eyes light up at the smell of a fresh Christmas tree. They squeal with joy at the sound of Christmas carols. They stare at every toy advertisement they see in print and on television, memorizing every detail, the better to explicitly set out their desires in their painstakingly assembled lists for Santa. They sit up all night Christmas eve, unable to sleep, trembling with excitement over the bounties they will receive come morning. They are insane with greed.

This childhood indoctrination is at the source of our inability to crack asunder the fetters of Christmas and enjoy the winter season free from the tyranny of costly and meaningless compulsive festivities. As children, we are conditioned year after year to associate the Holiday season with unearned gratification of our desires. As we make the transition to adulthood, the pleasurable memories remain with us, and compel us to endure the living hell of Christmastime "for the sake of the children", whom we think we are doing a favor by putting them through the same consumerist rituals as the ones we went through.

This assumption needs to be questioned. Why manipulate children into deleriums of selfish glee every year if the end result is that, as adults, they will submissively muddle though six weeks of soul-rending agony, late November through early January, year in, year out? Step back. Think for a minute what we are doing. Think about how immoral it all is. Christmas is child abuse. As surely as if we were duct-taping our children to their beds and gouging out their eyeballs with a corkscrew. We must stop this sinister conditioning of fresh-minded, gentle children into beaten, hopeless adults who compulsively enact the same annual march of misery. We must abolish Christmas.


Christmas Isn't Child Abuse (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 16th, 2001 at 07:25:38 AM PST
One of the problems with advertising is that advertisers do what they can to maximise sales. If it works to advertise to children at Christmas then people will do it. There isn't a driving force within capitalism to reverse this trend. But I don't think doing away with Christmas is the answer.

I agree that Christmas can encourage greed. But I feel parents have a responsiblity to ensure that Christmas is not just about presents. And that the presents given aren't just the latests toys with the biggest ad campaigns. How about some seeds to sprout? Or a musical instrument? You don't see many adverts for Christmas trees, but getting a tree _close_ to Christmas and decorating it as a family is great fun. Focusing Christmas on social events can, I believe, show Children that friends are more important than material goods. My memories of Christmas are not of playing with my new toys, but of playing with my cousins.

And adults can get a lot out of Christmas too. Meals with work mates help form friendships, and Christmas is a great excuse for that.

Christmas can also be a time to raise the subject of Jesus with children. I'm not a Christian but I fell his message of love, not judging each other and _not_ being greedy is one everyone should be given the oppertunity to understand.

Life should not be about greed. Teach your children that. And have a great Christmas.

You would thgink do, but... (none / 0) (#2)
by Chocolate Milkshake on Sun Dec 16th, 2001 at 04:18:02 PM PST
While you mention many constructive ways to celebrate the holidays, these activities should ideally be engaged in throughout the year. LIkewise, teaching children about Jesus is important, but that is no reason to treat Christmas any differently than we treat, say, Ash Wednesday.

What distinguishes Christmas is its unique blend of delirious venality (for children) and soul-crushing unhappiness (for adults). Sadly, Chiristmas is much to far gone to be reformed. Celebrating Christmas serves no purpose other than to indoctrinate our children into perpetuating its sinister traditions. Our socity will be better off once we abandon this destructive "holiday".

I agree. (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by nathan on Sun Dec 16th, 2001 at 04:28:00 PM PST
Since I stopped celebrating New Years', I've never woken up pantsless in another state (long story.)

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Oh, that was you? (4.00 / 1) (#4)
by RobotSlave on Sun Dec 16th, 2001 at 06:41:22 PM PST
I've still got your pants, if you want them back.

Waking up in another state is all too easy out there on the Right Coast, where you've got a new state line every six or seven blocks. When I lived in Boston, I had to chain myself to the bar-stool if I didn't want to wake up with a piercing in New Hampsire or wearing the wrong sort of underwear in Rhode Island.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Oh, that was you? (3.00 / 1) (#8)
by hauntedattics on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 11:19:21 AM PST
My girlfriend in Providence says keep the bra and panties.

Too late. (2.00 / 1) (#9)
by RobotSlave on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 11:43:58 AM PST
Sold them on ebay.

© 2002, RobotSlave. You may not reproduce this material, in whole or in part, without written permission of the owner.

Oh, that was you? (1.00 / 1) (#10)
by nathan on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 12:14:26 PM PST
They fit great!

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Twit. (none / 0) (#5)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 01:52:11 AM PST
I don't know what kind of traumas you've suffered, my dear, but I think that 'Soul Crushing Agony' is a bit extreme. So far this holiday season, I've personally faced mild indecision, minimal stress over a parking space, and relative irritation with the icrease in traffic near my place of business. That's about it... Here we are with less than two weeks to go, and so far my soul is still in good shape. Well, no worse off than before Thanksgiving at any rate. My indecision, stress, and irritation are already well healed, and will soon be far overshadowed by the extra smiles and laughter that will surround me and my loved ones for a few days. Then we can get back to the regular routine.
Quite frankly, the rest of the year is abusive. To kids, to adults, to damn near everyone. At least around Christmas, more people smile at you.

Well, maybe not You, Mme. Scrooge.

At least someone's happy... (none / 0) (#11)
by Chocolate Milkshake on Tue Dec 18th, 2001 at 12:18:20 AM PST
I'm delighted that you are one of the few people who manage to eke a few meagre morsels of joy from the Christmas hollidays. Nevertheless, the fact remains that for the vast majority of those forced to endure it, the Holiday season is nothing but a ceaseless ordeal of gloom, pain, and financial anxiety.

The true horror of Christmas is that most of the smiles one sees during the Holiday season are on the faces of children, children who are delirious on the cheap dope called greed; children who are totally unaware of the hellish nightmare Christmastime will become for them come adulthood. What kind of society is this, where the indoctrination of innocent children into a destructive consumerist death-cult like Christmas is a cherished tradition? When will this malignant game fnally end?

P.S. As it turns out, I'm a guy. Never can tell on this internet thingy, can you?

Good Point (none / 0) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 03:37:49 AM PST
Good Point

What do you expect from a religious ritual? (none / 0) (#7)
by westgeof on Mon Dec 17th, 2001 at 09:43:31 AM PST
Bah humbug. Why do we even still call it christmas? It never was a real Christian holiday, just a way to convert more people by allowing them to continue to observe their old 'pagan' holy days. And now it's been so perverted it's almost impossible to seperate the christian myth from the commercializations.

I don't remember hearing about how Santa Claus came to visit baby jesus on his birthday. (And as we all know, the image of santa claus that we all recognize was lifted straight from an old coca-cola tv ad.) I hope you don't expect me to believe that there was an evergreen tree in the middle of the manger, conveniently decorated with little candles and shiny objects. (Hell, there probably wasn't a fir tree for hundreds of miles.) No wreaths, no ribbons, certainly no eggnog. No gifts (just a tithe to a new "king") no greed no turkey. About the only thing left is the actualy christmas service at church, but I'm not going to begin a rant on the church here.

As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.


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