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You are
extremely attractive. 33%
merely attractive. 6%
theoretically attractive. 11%
quite plain. 11%
a failed lab experiment. 17%
evolved beyond physical beauty. 11%
aware the prior response is bunk. 8%

Votes: 45

 Only extremely attractive people are cool.

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 12, 2001
Discuss until I can be bothered to finish actual content for your delectation or deprecation.

More diaries by luisa
Is fiction permitted in the Diaries?
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You're all whores.
The witch is dead.
A story for you.
I can speak six languages and fly a jetliner.
Altoids are Curiously Strong.
Who stole my thunder?


not true, but the exceptions can be disturbing (none / 0) (#1)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:37:17 AM PST
as in "Noam Chosky is widely considered to be `cool'"

...mainly by non-extremely-attractive people. (nt) (none / 0) (#2)
by luisa on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:55:44 AM PST

Not-so (none / 0) (#6)
by Hagbard Celine on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:03:20 AM PST
Obviously high-handed and a troll, but I'll bite for fun.

You don't meet my standards of being extremely attractive, so therefore you are not cool.

Now, hmm...I wonder if my standards are subjective and narrow and only held by myself.

Looking at the issue, we find that lots of people have different ideas of beauty.

True, I'm sure that everyone on this board (oops, sweeping generalization, I'm sure I meant most) maintains the western european standard of beauty.

What's that? Well, for women it's skinny (for your height) large breasts (the so-called perfect ones only found in silicone varieties(sp?)

Some have theorized that the western european ideal of beauty for women has to do with power, i.e. we want our women skinny because this makes us as men feel we have more physical power over them. (Especially when the ideal for men is overly muscular and aggressive.)

This is feminism taken too far. While I may enjoy a waif girl from time to time, but I like my women with a little meat on them.

I digress from my original point...

Your standards are not necessarily those of the Adequacy community nor that of the town you live in.

I'm sure that it's probably the ideal that most Americans (I think you're American, I might be wrong) have.

Maybe you should think about it. Noam Chomsky thinks about lots of things all the time. I try not to because it hurts...

Chomsky is cooler than any so-called extremely-attractive person because he's extremely intelligent. Now, I will say that the most attractive people are both extremely-attractive (using my standards, which are not yours) and extremely-intelligent.

The ones who are just extremely attractive tend to be vain and vapid. PFFFFTTT

spank, spank, spank (none / 0) (#9)
by nathan on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:51:49 AM PST
The bad part is that it[1] doesn't make you any prettier.

[1] Spanking, of course. Man, you probably put your hand to sleep.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

Chomsky is 'cool' (4.00 / 1) (#24)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 06:08:25 AM PST
If you think that advertising yourself as an expert in political science, when you're actually only an expert in linguistics, is 'cool'.

Define Cool (none / 0) (#3)
by nobbystyles on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:03:48 AM PST
Cool as in mass-media cool like filmstars, popstars or models or as in cool in an g**ky sense like RMS, Linux Turdvalds, Bill Gates or other hacker 'idols'?

Definition (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by hauntedattics on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:06:00 AM PST
Only extremely attractive people are cool, and only people I like are extremely attractive. Thus, the only cool people are the people I like.

So get on my bad side and risk losing your cool.

Oh (none / 0) (#5)
by nobbystyles on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:22:18 AM PST
You mean Usian high school 'cool' as in popular, good looking, vapid people. I don't think you'll find many people like that on this site apart from me of course, and none of those on Slashdot.

Are you attractive enough to be cool? Otherwise I can't hang out with you on Adequacy....

Who said anything (none / 0) (#8)
by hauntedattics on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:44:43 AM PST
about popular and vapid? The only person they have to be 'popular' with is me. And I don't like vapid people, thus vapid people aren't cool.

So you're questioning the attractiveness of the Arbiter of Cool? That's enough to put your cool rating in jeopardy, my friend.

re: define cool (none / 0) (#10)
by osm on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 01:50:21 PM PST
as in cool in an g**ky sense like RMS, Linux Turdvalds, Bill Gates or other hacker 'idols'?

oh my fucking god.

There is no such thing as geek-cool. (5.00 / 1) (#12)
by luisa on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 05:51:08 PM PST
It's just a delusion dreamt up by the non-extremely-attractive geeks and aspiring geeks so that they might feel more at ease with their lack of extreme attractiveness (and by extension coolness.)

Well (none / 0) (#11)
by TheReverand on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 03:34:42 PM PST

Humanity just reached a new low. (none / 0) (#13)
by Majin on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:11:47 PM PST
Gather around you oversized hoodlums.
You have a horridly bad argument, which is a brand new low for a person (excluding children) who isn't in some kind of acting industry.

1. A person external looks are not a way to judge weather a person is 'cool'.
2. Cool equals trendy, trendy equals hypocritical, and hypocrisy equals ignorance, and so on so forth.
Too be cool or trendy is to be a person who must give up their individuality and become part of the majority, or rather "Be assimilated" into this horridly evil idea of cool.

3. Man may demand something that is 'tantalizing' too the eyes, but that is no reason to disown people who are considered by you as 'ugly' or 'not cool'.

I have also come to the conclusion that somehow, all the worlds' ignorance has somehow found its' way here...

Sad. (5.00 / 1) (#15)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 07:35:06 PM PST
Witness the way in which the unattractive feel the need to defend themselves through spurious arguments. It's OK, Majin. It is necessary that some people be unattractive and 'uncool' so to speak. Otherwise, how would the rest of us be able to fully appreciate the beauty in each other? I know it must sometimes feel to you like you're on the outside looking in, but a number of alternatives exist. You could get plastic surgery. You could wear an attractive mask. You could work on your clothing, or buy a nice car and remain in it all the time. But what you mustn't do is delude yourself into believing in this absurd ideal of appearance equality. With the help of a competant psychotherapist and enough spending on your appearance, you can work through this. I believe in you, Majin.

We all believe in you.


What in hells name.... (none / 0) (#17)
by Majin on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:01:42 PM PST
Are you mentally deranged? Maybe even retarded? Christ, what kind of self-absorbed world are you living in?

Christ, you guys can be so unbelievable.

Dear Sir, (none / 0) (#14)
by Martino Cortez PhD on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 06:13:23 PM PST
Luisa Sir,

I can assert your statement is indeed fact. Proof is no further then looking at my humble self.

Folks, as I've asserted elseware on this large (no doubt infinite) beast known as the A.O.L., I am the coolest person alive.

Good day to you sirs,

Dr Martino Cortez, PhD
CEO - Martin-Cortez Financial Corporation
Copyright © 2002, Martino Cortez.

Dear Sir, (none / 0) (#20)
by tkatchev on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 11:30:06 PM PST
I find your views fascinating, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Thank you.

Peace and much love...

Can i picked them out or what? (5.00 / 1) (#16)
by legolas on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 09:39:17 PM PST
This is where I pointed out that I found luisa first. Not only that, but I noted that she was the NEXT BIG THING.

And, true to my predictions, I'm sitting here and see that luisa's diary has 16 comments, and jin wicked's latest diary only has 6. SORRY BABE, but you're passť. Like Vanilla Ice and The New Kids on the Block, you're no longer cool. The Britney Spears of weblog chicks, luisa, has come to take her throne.

And, on the positive side, my brand new switch and network card work fine. Hopefully, I can get some speed increases now that I've upgraded everything.

And THANK GOD that exams are finished. They've been destroying me. Anyways, it's 1:30am and I have to get up at 7:00am to help my brother prep for his driving test.

Here we are again, and we're looking at each other as if each other were to blame.

You think you're so smart, but I've seen you naked. And I'll probably see you naked again.

Milli Vanilli told you to Blame It On The Rain, but if you blame it on the rain, tell me what can be gained?

So, if all else fails, you can blame it on me.


Yeah (none / 0) (#19)
by osm on Wed Dec 12th, 2001 at 10:25:49 PM PST
OK, we all know you are Luisa. I don't think any of the guys here are going to be turned on by a pimply-faced 15 year old Canadian. Or any Canadian, for that matter.

Bah. (none / 0) (#22)
by legolas on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 04:18:40 AM PST
I'm sure they said the same thing about Louis J. Perlman. However, if I remember correctly, he did pretty well with a few bands that he promoted.


Dorkitude: driving force of history (5.00 / 2) (#21)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 12:17:30 AM PST
It is an indisputable truth that only the very attractive can be truly cool. Physical beauty is a fundamental requirement for arriving at the sublime balance of grace, nonchalance, and wit that defines coolness. The ugly, the dumpy, the plain janes and johns, may attain a certain back-bench coolness by surrounding themselves with the beautiful, but these people are never truly cool. They merely obtain a certain scare-quote qualified "cool": the coolness equivalent of the "normal" lives experienced by retards and the disabled.

Kerouac (handsome) was cool. Neal Cassady (rugged good looks) was cool. Burroughs (schmendricky, schoolteacherish) was "cool". Gary Snyder is a dirty hippie. Try as they might, the unattractive can never achieve the glow and magnetism of the cool. They are just too damn ugly. Sinatra (handsome) was cool. Dino (cute) was cool. Sammy Davis Jr. (funny-looking) was "cool" (Not even being Black was enough to push Sammy though to the realm of coolness).

And yet the real business of hauling humanity out of the dust of the savannahs, through the marble pillars of Greece, the cathedrals of Europe, the halls of Versailles, and the glass towers of Today, into the far reaches of space, outer- and cyber-, has always been the work of the unattractive. Socrates, Beethoven, Dickens, Picasso, Bill Gates. Them's some ugly motherfuckers.

The eternally frustrated desire of the homely to attain some of the effortless style of the cool is what drives them to strive, create, achieve, and conquer. In other words, to carry on with the real work of history. Politics, as the saying goes, is showbiz for ugly people.

It will not always be so. The day will come when genetic engineering allows us to create a race of flawlessly beautiful humans. People will pass their time making love to random passersby, exchanging clever catch phrases, modeling on the latest fashions for one another, and attending parties where everyone is an "A" list guest. Men and Women who once might have turned to science or art to earn their place among the shining, beautiful creatures will be a thing of the past. The churning gears of History will come to a final and everlasting stop. One day a race of hideous aliens will descend from the skies, intent on conquering the Earth, stripping it of its resources and enslaving its inhabitants. These bug-eyed shock troops from from the stars will will step forth from their invasion craft and stop dead in their sucker-footed tracks at the sight of the gorgeous, supremely cool, denizens of this world. The leader of the aliens, a particularly grotesque lug, will step forth, death-ray in hand, and utter a single phrase: "Hey, can we hang with you guys?". Let that day come soon.

I bet you are extremely attractive! (none / 0) (#23)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Dec 13th, 2001 at 05:10:50 AM PST
You even have an attractive-sounding (and thus, cool) name, luisa. You sound positively dreamy, can I date you?


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