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nathan is:
So lucky it hurts. 22%
So lucky he deserves to get hurt, soon. 22%
Reacting very prematurely. 27%
A borderline cradlerobber. 0%
A freakin' idiot. 0%
But my intentions are completely honourable! 0%
...yeah, whatever, you jerk. 0%
...I'm calling her father. 5%
...I AM her father, and you've got minutes to live. 22%

Votes: 18

 the opposite sex

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Nov 29, 2001
So, last week I was thanklessly breaking my back working for the ungrateful chumps who are undergrads here at my university. This involved travelling to Ottawa, the capital of my nation, in order to attend a conference. While there, I met this intriguing girl.

No, keep reading. It's not one of "those" diaries.


More diaries by nathan
Bartok violin concerto
religion has failed us.
addition to previous diary (sorry)
Why girls are better than boys
tangential point off h.a.'s recent diary
why boys and girls are different
new job!
objectivist club
Another Friday night
some light reading
hey, alprazolam,
g**k math is not hard.
should women?
a new threat
wiccan woes
is Christianity theistically monistic?
give me advice.
Canada rules!
Burma Shave!
do some atheists hate religion?
For those of you who don't know me personally, which would be everyone, I work far too hard to have much time for "socializing"[1]. Thus, meeting girls is not something that regularly happens to me. If you don't get to know people, they won't get to know you; and because I believe in what I do, I've been, if not happy, at least unable to see how to change without giving up things I value too much to drop.

So that makes it all the more improbable that I'd meet someone who:

  • Is ridiculously well-read (after dancing, our first substantial conversation was
    about Hannah Arendt)
  • Is really, really attractive (not a la bombshell, more like the best-looking
    Cape Bretoner you ever saw in your life, if that makes sense)
  • Has far more moral sense and common decency than me
  • That notwithstanding, genuinely appears to respect and even admire me for some reason.

    The bad thing is that she's 19, which to me seems like basically a fetus even though I'm not really very much older. But I lecture to people her age, for pity's sakes. Thank heavens that she doesn't go to school at my university, or I might not be able to handle this.

    Opinions will be respectfully considered (see also poll, above right.)


    19 TOO YOUNG?! (none / 0) (#1)
    by osm on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 04:38:36 PM PST

    Oh God, I haven't laughed that hard in ages.

    missing footnote (none / 0) (#2)
    by nathan on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 05:30:59 PM PST
    [1] hanging around with other people, as opposed to enaging in behaviour that socializes others. Just so it's clear.

    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Not too young necessarily at all (none / 0) (#3)
    by Inden on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 08:55:23 PM PST
    Especially since you recognize her superior common and moral sense and high intellect I would say she isn't too young for you at all - if she's interested that is. Count your lucky stars and seize the carp! With great patience and care and not forgetting to keep breathing of course.

    We are all rooting for you and probably so is she. Does she have a friend who is ten years older for me (500 miles or so south that is)?

    I forgot to mention the most important thing (none / 0) (#4)
    by Inden on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 09:02:06 PM PST
    Women are better than men. It's just a fact. They are better at an earlier age and remain better, on average, for their entire lives. They are smarter, more patient, nicer, wiser, handle pain more graciously too.

    This is particularly true of intelligent women. So, in fact, you might possibly be too young for her in a way. Don't worry a bit.

    yeah, right (3.00 / 2) (#6)
    by osm on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 09:55:36 PM PST
    that's the biggest load of slush. women are trash. they aren't even worth wiping your ass with.

    Age and Maturity not the same. (none / 0) (#5)
    by Moonshadow76 on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 09:10:29 PM PST
    I think any time someone meets another person they can have a good conversation with and they enjoy their company, they should accept that person as who they are and not worry about their age. This goes for just plain platonic friendships as well as possible "romantic" interests. I have friends who span quite a range of ages, from kids to Senior Citizens. My parents have a 13 year age difference, my father being older, and a friend of mine is 13 years older than her husband, so if one of you isn't slowing the other down terribly either mentally or physically I don't see why age difference should be an issue. I'm not sure what geographical location you're at, but in America 18 is considered legally of an "adult" age. Don't break any laws where you are, but don't make any arbitrary decisions based on age bias either.

    And remember, be yourself.

    Congratulations! She respects and admires you! (5.00 / 1) (#7)
    by Anonymous Reader on Thu Nov 29th, 2001 at 11:44:10 PM PST
    I'm sure she considers you "a good friend" and "values your company". If you treat her really decently, maybe in a few weeks she will trust you enough to start unloading her cry-stories about her mistreatment at the hands of her broad-shouldered, snowboarding, frat-goon boyfriend (who she's wildly in love with, and not about to ditch, regardless of how often he sleeps with her friends). Boy are you in for a world of fun!

    Sorry. (none / 0) (#11)
    by tkatchev on Fri Nov 30th, 2001 at 10:10:42 AM PST
    Grow up. There is more to life than high-school. (=> "college", for the Americans.)

    The thing is, at one time you reach a waypoint in life where you start thinking about your direction; when love becomes more about responsibility than hedonism, when relationships are more about balance than greed, when internal calm is more important than adrenaline. At one point, you are forced to start shaping your own life.

    Peace and much love...

    I wasn't going to respond (none / 0) (#12)
    by nathan on Sat Dec 1st, 2001 at 11:08:03 AM PST
    to that AR, but I think Tkatchev is exactly right. The proof of this is that the situation with this girl is completely unlike that proposed by the AR.

    That's what has me confused. If she's 19, is this too good to be true? Not that numbers alone will stop me, they just gives me a qualm or two.

    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

    Popular culture has the answers (none / 0) (#8)
    by T Reginald Gibbons on Fri Nov 30th, 2001 at 04:28:43 AM PST
    You should definitely "date" this girl. By date, I mean, of course, use. Several major motion pictures of released in the last five years have painted a compelling picture of what you can expect from this "relationship". (By "several" I mean one; by "major", I mean unmemorable; by "motion picture", I mean "Loser", starring Mena Suvari and some guy. By relationship, I mean "one way street, headed your way".)

    You will inevitably become an corrupt, arrogant yet ruggedly handsome, manipulative, self-serving villain, if you have not already. Your female lead will be unable to discern your glaring personal flaws, despite your apparent lack of any redeeming features. You may continue to use her for affection and hot teen sex, until a young man, flush with youth, integrity and a non-threatening haircut enters her life, most likely through quirky accident. At this point, your life will take a rapid turn for the very much worse. You will most likely be imprisoned for crimes you did not even realise they had criminal laws for. Since all prisons typically incarcerate the white-collar minimum security prisoners with the murderers and sex offenders, you will naturally suffer years of poetically justified violent abuse. But don't let that stop you.

    Relax... (none / 0) (#9)
    by hauntedattics on Fri Nov 30th, 2001 at 06:48:22 AM PST
    So you met a cool person...excellent! AND she's attractive, smart and best of all, a she? More than excellent. Don't start fretting about this connection, dear. I know it's hard, but neurosis isn't attractive in either sex. Keep in touch with her (I assume she's from Cape Breton and you'r not, so it'll be a distance thing?) and just enjoy getting to know a fellow human. If something happens, great. If not, too bad.

    As for the age thing, I wouldn't worry about it. When I was 19 (before I started dating my husband) I went on dates with a 28-year-old and a 32-year-old...but then I was a freak. I'm guessing you're quite a bit younger than my dates were anyway.

    cape breton (none / 0) (#10)
    by nathan on Fri Nov 30th, 2001 at 09:06:45 AM PST
    Actually she's Irish, but since I've never been over Cape Breton is all I have a as a basis for comparison. No worries about long distance; she lives here now.

    [ frothing, convulsing ]

    Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.


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