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Emergency escape pod dilema
Do the right thing, call them up and tell them it's the plan for a radio 0%
Just let it go.. nobody will have to know 14%
Call them up and blame the whole thing on Clarence 57%
Sign off on the whole project and wash your hands of the whole mess 28%

Votes: 7

 Oh What a day !!! !!

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Nov 27, 2001
Yesterday was a real corker, let me tell you. Click below to read the details of a day in the life of a rocket scientist.

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To set the record straight
  • Oh boy, first let me tell you, I never, never, never should have smoked that brown weed before lunch. No matter how many times I do it I never learn. Sheesh.

    So I had this afternoon meeting with the escape pod team from the south campus. These guys have been on my shit for months because my design for the escpae hatch release has been, shall we say, less than stellar... Well fuck, there are only so many hours in the day and I just haven't been able to get around to fixing it. Besides, what are the odds they'll ever need to use it? I mean, most rockets don't blow up so there is no need to use the emergency escpade pod.

    Well, my second mistake, after smoking that wicked crap, was going to lunch with my pal Clarence. My third mistake was going to the local pub for lunch. Clarence and I ended up getting into a shots contest like we always do and were both quite totaled by the time we got back to the lab. No big deal, I tend to design my best rockets when I'm sloshed. So Clarence and I have the schematic diagram for this escape pod thingy on a big table and we're looking at it and all of a sudden Clarence gets sick and fires a series of projectile vomiting volleys all over the damn thing. Oh sweet Jesus at the bus stop, what a mess.

    Sadly, that was right about the time when the LSD started kicking in and I started to lose it a bit. So I'm freaking out and Clarence is trying to clean the little chunks of vomit shrapnel out of his nose and the schematic is trashed. It was the only copy we had too, so we were really hosed at this point. Clarence, always a quick thinker on his feet, starts scrambling in his gym bag and pulls out a series of diagrams which he throws on the table after cleaning up the vomit soaked old diagrams. It turns out that he had just bought a new portable mini FM radio and he had gotten the desing diagram for it from Sony bacause he wanted to make some changes to it.

    So the acid is kicking my ass at this time and I start to laugh, I mean, I really lost it and I'm asking Clarence how the hell the plans for his radio are going to help us with the emergency rocket escape pod crap and then he starts laughing and says that they'll never have to use it so how the fuck should it matter. We could give them the plans for building a toaster and it wouldn't matter. Oh shit, it really was the funniest thing I've ever seen. I guess you had to be there.

    So the escape pod team comes in for the meeting and I had scratched out all the references to the radio and replaced them with escpae pod references and the pod guys bought the whole thing. Boy O Boy, I have to tell you that I had to go home early because I just couldn't stop laughing thinking about some sorry ass dude flying in the new IPX-LX rocket who goes to hit the emergency release latch and instead of it working he'll hear some bad music pumped from the fm radio.. Holy shit, I mean, don't worry, the odds of that happening are slim, but it realy was funny thinking about it at the time.

  • Whoa, look at the time.. I need to go hammer down some shots to get rid of this blasted hangover before the meeting with the nuclear level II rocket booster team. Those guys are a bunch of pissers, let me tell you...


    D00d, (none / 0) (#1)
    by tkatchev on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 08:07:46 AM PST
    You're making this up, aren't you?

    Congrats with the elaborate hoax. You have some (but not much) literary talent; seriously. I especially liked the bit about the "nuclear rocket booster".

    Peace and much love...

    Nuclear Woody. (none / 0) (#4)
    by nx01 on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 10:26:32 AM PST
    Us Americans, in our infinite wisdom, decided in the fifties and sixties that everything is better with Nuclear Power(tm). It was almost like our scientists had a sexual connection with the idea of a nuke powering anything. And if there is one place that having a nuke would just be fucking cool, it would be in a rocket. Kinda like a Buck Rogers type thing. (at that point, we didn't have star trek. *sigh*)

    It was called Project Orion. The basic principle was analagous to putting a M-80 under a tin can, lighting it, and getting the fuck away.

    After a while, it, and the whole NERVA project, got banned under one of the nuclear test ban treaties. This ban was probably not a bad idea, especially considering that one of their test rockets spewed radiation all over LA in a spectacle that "resembled a Roman candle". I'd be willing to bet that this incident has a lot to do with why LA is so fucked up...

    There's a lot of info on it here.

    "Every time I look at the X window system, it's so fucking stupid; and part of me feels responsible for the worst parts of it."
    -- James Gosling

    Re: poll (5.00 / 1) (#2)
    by AgnosticLiberalK5er on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 08:22:03 AM PST
    Whatever you do, don't sign off on the project yourself. Get one of your superiors to do it. Remember, covering your ass is the first priority at any job, especially one like yours.


    get it working (5.00 / 1) (#3)
    by alprazolam on Tue Nov 27th, 2001 at 08:24:48 AM PST
    you want to have some sort of operational element that people can see, so they know "you've done your job" even if what they see isn't exactly your job. i would also recommend you design in some extra, unnecessary hardware that only you understand so that they can't lay you off.


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