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Can I hunt that field over there?
No, go the hell away. 0%
Sure buddy, throw some empty beer cans out too. 57%
Can someone as large as you climb a tree? 14%
Hold this rattlesnake for a minute while I think about it. 28%

Votes: 7

 I'm all out of bubblegum

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Nov 26, 2001
Now that the thanks are out of the way I'd like to vent on a topic that has been a source of irritation since October. Do any of you hunt? Are you near Pennsylvania?

More diaries by Right Hand Man
Stock Finish
If the answer to either of those questions was 'Yes', let me give you a little warning.

Near Bedford, PA, there is a rather nice farm. It spans about 700 acres and is around 50% timber. Most of the fields are hay, one is winter wheat, another small one still has some standing corn, a few others are bare. It looks like great hunting ground, lots of deer sign, good cover for rabbits and game birds. The place is kind of out in the middle of a few other farms, couple of old barns on it and a three story farmhouse tucked back in the trees.

Let me tell you: it is damn fine hunting ground for all sorts of game. But you can't hunt it. Don't even bother to ask. The guy who owns it will probably be an asshole. See, he is tired of fat people from the city who's house sits on 1/3 acre driving out there and scouting the place out. He is tired of explaining to them that the place is his and no he doesn't feel bad about keeping all that ground to himself. He doesn't care whether you just want to get your kid his first deer. Go buy your own place.

And God help you if decide to ignore his advice and hunt it anyway. You see, you drive a bright red Expedition, it isn't easy to conceal that kind of vehicle. Your ATV can be heard from pretty far away too. The panting your fat ass is doing because you had to walk 100 yards through the brush allows you to be pinpointed fairly easily. Not wearing any orange won't help either, unless you can find a way to stop the infrared light from escaping your clothing. Believe me, you don't want to be up in a tree, trespassing on someone else's property when the owner pops out of the woods wearing a full Ghille and has an AR strapped to his shoulder. You won't be getting any deer that day.

Just do yourself a favor and go somewhere else. There might be some gullible old man down the road who stopped caring about his place a long time ago. He'll let you hunt, but I won't.


Selfishness and destruction of the environment. (none / 0) (#1)
by theboz on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 08:58:29 AM PST
Obviously, you have no idea of the horrible results of selfish people like yourself. You see, you are causing inequalities in the food chain and destroying the environment, not to mention property and possibly lives.

The problem started many years ago, when animals were over-hunted and driven out from those areas. This consisted of wolves as well as the deer, and countless other animals. Since there have been restrictions in hunting, the deer population has increased rapidly. There are now so many deer in Pennsylvania that the accidents when they run in front of a moving vehicle are epidemic. This increase in deer brings not only the property damage to vehicles, but sometimes the loss of human life. Also, they tend to eat the crops from many farms, and make the farmers end up losing more and more each year. There's even the occasional case of a deer getting into someone's house and attacking them. These creatures are the vermin of Pennsylvania.

However, there are some brave individuals who are willing to help. These people are willing to go out into the wilderness long before the sun comes up, brave the cold and damp weather, and remove this pestilence from rural Pennsylvania. Yes, sometimes they come from the city, which proves they are smarter than the people from outside of Bedford. They are your friends, and want to help you for free from the kindness of their hearts. Orkin never comes to your house to spray for termintes without asking you for money.

They truly are wanting to do you a service, and will only be around for a few hours of one or two weeks of the year, and then they will be gone. However, you are rude to them, threaten their lives, and you work towards the destruction of the environment due wanting the world to be overrun by a plague of deer.

For the record - I am not a hunter and no longer live in Pennsylvania. I think hunting is too boring, and that Pennsylvania is full of rednecks. It's Philly on one side, Pittsburg on the other, and Alabama in between.

Amen - Plague of Deer Indeed ! (none / 0) (#3)
by Inden on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 08:30:11 PM PST
We've got open season on deer in all five counties of the Philadelphia area. Monday you could shoot both bucks and does, I was told. This is unusual as normally you only get to shoot one or the other.

Please send those lardass suburbanites in their oversized flag-draped SUV's to Philadelphia's fringe suburbs to accidentally wipe each other out in their quest for the manly outdoorsy blood prize venison. I would like to recommend Chester and Montgomery counties especially.

And why is it religious conservatives can only think about themselves anyway?

Please be considerate of us city dwellers (none / 0) (#2)
by Adam Rightmann on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 09:05:20 AM PST
who go to live in those dens of iniquity and crime in order to provide a shining example of living a Christian life. One of the downsides is the lack of practice time I get with my rifle, the local police get very nervous when I set up targets in a quiet corner of the city parks.

Perhaps you could consider an urban-rural outreach program, where good city dwelling Americans could learn to fire and respect guns, to better scure our freedom, in exchange for labor, or goods only found in the city. Heck, you could even visit the city, and go out for a well deserved Friday fish fry before castigating the drinkers, sodomites and would-be fornicaters frequenting the city taverns.

A. Rightmann


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