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Thomas Kinkade's painings made corporeal
finally... 0%
Finally! 0%
Where do I sign Up?! 100%

Votes: 2

 Here's one for you, Mr. ZikZak

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Nov 25, 2001

Artist Thomas Kinkade's Paintings Come to Life as Upscale Development.

This is just the sort of thing I expect readers will appreciate and/or aspire to. And the news doesn't come a moment to soon, in my humble estimation.

While such a visionary and grandios scheme is to take place within the borders of the infamous and unseemly US province of California, which certainly seems suspect at first glance, be warmed in the knowledge that it is indeed the auspicious UK firm 'Taylor Woodrow Homes' to which we owe our thanks. As everyone surely knows, the taste and culture of the English is without equal amongst the planet's many billions. Taylor Woodrow are certain to execute this project with much excellence and quality, by simple virtue of their breeding and character.

However, there is a dark side to this joyous coin: "the Village" is to be located approximately 30 miles NW of the City of San Fransisco, putting the development square into tofu eating, nuclear free, hand-crafted faux-leather sandal country of hippyland. Yes, this particular region is packed with the throngs of mush-minded liberals frozen in a timeless place of carnal decadence and other such foolish liberalisms. This area is known to house the remainder of such lawless and sordid individuals as comprised the band 'the Grateful Death' and 'Satana', not to mention such notable subversive cultural demons as 'Tom Weights' and 'Jello Biagra' (please to pardon the purposeful misspellings of these individuals and their sundry organizations, it is my meek attempt at derision).

SO, as I see it, one is left in quite a quandry here. To take up residence in such a notorious neighborhood is not altogether ofset by the attraction of such an attractive enclave of peace and tranquility.


How wonderful! (4.50 / 2) (#1)
by zikzak on Sun Nov 25th, 2001 at 05:04:37 PM PST
I have always strongly believed that this is exactly the sort of architecture that is needed in our world. It is very proper and respectful of tradition, and never jumps out at us as something that is obviously new. These sorts of homes could easily be placed right next to a 17th century English stone cottage and look completely correct there.

Architecture as a field must realize that, despite its private patronage, it is still a public art. Unlike "modern art" with its "abstract espressionism" and other nonsense, the public is forced to live with what architects offer us. We don't have the option of not viewing buildings the same way we do with paintings.

Because of this, architecture needs to remain very very conservative. Those curvaceous forms and "high-tech" car wrecks have no place in the public realm. Perhaps they serve some function on students' drafting boards as a means of self-expression, but they should never be built.

Zikzak, sir, you are... (5.00 / 2) (#3)
by poltroon on Sun Nov 25th, 2001 at 08:29:35 PM PST
some kind of prophet. A few minutes ago my mother called, excited to tell me about a segment she just saw on 60 minutes. "Have you heard of this artist, Kinkade?" she asked. Of course I had, but still, I had no idea such an art explosion was presently tearing through the American consciousness... I find myself foolishly floundering in the dark ages of painting.

And he's very wise as well (5.00 / 1) (#4)
by zikzak on Sun Nov 25th, 2001 at 11:49:36 PM PST
"I don't believe, in time, that [Picasso] will be regarded as the titan that he is now," Kinkade tellsCBS News Correpsondent Morley Safer in a 60 Minutes interview...

Who better to tell us which artists are meaningful than Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light™? He is such a selfless humanitarian.

kgb, someone must struggle for decency (5.00 / 1) (#5)
by Adam Rightmann on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 05:50:05 AM PST
If I could afford, I would consider moving to such a place, for then I could spend my spare time preaching to the sinners in that Gomorrah by the Bay. It's almost like gentrification, one small enclave of decency fighting against the secular-humanist plague.

A. Rightmann

what is wrong with gates (4.00 / 1) (#6)
by alprazolam on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 09:35:11 AM PST
Well I figured you could probably give the most insight Adam. Why is it that Kinkade seems to disapprove of living in a gated community?

"Clearly, the gates are at odds with my vision," Kinkade said. "I can't imagine that living behind gates would be something I would enjoy. But they're a necessary sacrifice to the consumer instincts of the average home buyer."

It seems to be more than damage to his artistic integrity (obviously gates can be ugly) that he's talking about, he is basically saying "I would never live in a gated community, but ...." Clearly automated gates can be seen as out of place in a community designed to look as if it were time warped to us from the 1950's, but if they were done tastefully they could have a minimal impact on the aesthetics of the area. Is Kinkade merely commenting on the need for gates and a desire to live in a crime free city? Is he suggesting gates create some sort of isolationism that degrades the quality of family life? It almost seems quaint to see a suggestion that convenience and quality of life outweigh concerns of safety, but Kinkade is obviously anything but quaint.

Apprarently, in Godless California (5.00 / 1) (#7)
by Adam Rightmann on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 09:41:48 AM PST
people love their material items so much that they chose to live in gated communities, where the poor and desperate can not enter. This speaks of a frightening disparity of wealth and a lack of spirituality. It would be better for these gated sorts to donate their excess wealth to the Church and live in a a more modest community.

If there had to be gates, perhaps they could give gainful employment to a some of the poor but worthy Hispanics, and hire them as gatekeepers. Perhaps thier piety would then rub off on these rich, soulless, Godless lost people.

A. Rightmann

An alternative view (5.00 / 1) (#8)
by zikzak on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 10:13:19 AM PST
Gated communities exist to keep a certain type of dangerous people away from the general public. Think of them as a sort of zoo that forbids visitors for the sake of their safety.

The gates are needed. If those people got loose you'd be forced to share your city with investment bankers and nouveau riche dot commies. Believe me, we're all much better off with them safely locked away on their private 1 acre reserves.

please, think about the children (1.00 / 1) (#9)
by alprazolam on Mon Nov 26th, 2001 at 11:49:10 AM PST
I myself am pretty neutral towards the idea of living in a gated community. They do not in anyway impact my relation with the rest of the city. However if I were a kid living in a gated community with, say just one or two other kids my age, they would severely limit my ability to come and go, and therefore meet people. If I hadn't have at least had this basic, simple way of building friendships as a kid, I would have been even more isolated and lonerish than I was anyway, and could have ended up as an anti social maniac, as opposed to a mere 'socially anxious' misanthrope. I'm just curious to know whether parents consider this sort of possibility at all. This is really more a question about mainstream parents as opposed to exemplary examples of compassion and thought like Adam Rightmann.


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