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Will I die alone and unloved?
Yes 30%
No 20%
yuo = fag0t 50%

Votes: 10

 Why I am mentally defective and should be shunned in public

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Oct 13, 2001
ok, so I'm sure some of you are wondering about me...why I write all these weird, nonsensical, gibberish-laced diary entries...why I shy away from human contact...why I shower once a month...why I use Unix as a desktop OS. Why?! Why indeed. Well, today for no other reason than utter boredom, I will discuss my mental weaknesses. Will any of you give a damn about this? Probably not, but this is MY diary, and I will fill it up with whatever I desire, so STFU and read on...

More diaries by Frithiof
Crackdown on Terrorism in the USA?
It seems I have a cavity, amongst other things...
How should I define myself?
Semi-yummy Food
What is the Matrix?
It happened AGAIN...
The sad truth...
Because I got bored...
I bought a cd today
I hate commies...
Turning Unix into Windows
Are we safe?
IRC; an internet wasteland?
And as another day ends...
As mentioned in other comments (I'm too lazy to hunt them down right now), I have stated that I have been afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome. What is this?, you might ask. Let me put up a few quotes from various Asperger's websites to help put things in persective ([1] was taken from, and [2] was 'borrowed' from

[1]"In Asperger's Disorder, affected individuals are characterized by social isolation and eccentric behavior in childhood. There are impairments in two-sided social interaction and non-verbal communication. Though grammatical, their speech is peculiar due to abnormalities of inflection and a repetitive pattern. Clumsiness is prominent both in their articulation and gross motor behavior. They usually have a circumscribed area of interest which usually leaves no space for more age appropriate, common interests. Some examples are cars, trains, French Literature, door knobs, hinges, cappucino, meteorology, astronomy or history."

I mumble when I talk, I drool, my head wobbles when I walk, I get massive erections when I look at pretty ladies, I obsess over faggy things like Unix, and I think that I'm an airplane. Help me.

[2]"Aspergers is not easily recognizable - in fact, many children are misdiagnosed with other neurological disorders such as Tourette's Syndrome or Autism. More frequently, children are misdiagnosed with Attention Deficit (and Hyperactivity) Disorders (ADD & ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Such mistakes in diagnosis lead to a delay in treatment of the disorder, though many pharmaceuticals and natural remedies are used to treat multiple neurological and pervasive developmental disorders. Remedies used today range from St. John's Wort tea to drugs such as Haldol and Ritalin. Treatments vary to a great degree with the individual patient - no single medication or remedy works for everyone - and AS cannot be completely cured."

I was diagnosed as having ADD as a young child and I was forced to swallow ritalin on a daily basis (was I hyperactive? did I have difficulty learning? no. no. I was socially retarded, and the doctors somehow thought that giving me pills would make things right. Yea, I see the logic here; a kid isn't making friends, so giving him drugs that'll make him even LESS social and willing to do things with other people will make things all better.)

More or less, these descriptions do not wholly describe me. I laughed when I first read them, mainly because they seemed to be so grossly inadequate and inaccurate. Probably 90% of the psychologists in the world are unaware of my situation and would misdiagnose me, making my life even worse than it already is. As far as most people are concerned, on the visible level I appear to be just as normal as other people (I'm smart, good-looking, I can tell good jokes, I'm fairly nice when dealing with people 1-on-1), but deep inside, I'm not. I fear large crowds. I fear meeting people. I fear being rejected. It has driven me to live a sheltered life, away from humans I don't trust, and away from a real life. I spend my days fooling around with FreeBSD and Debian. I chat on IRC. I read books. I go jobhunting on occasion (I only do a half-assed job at this, though). It has made me a veritable freak of nature.

What am I to do? Aside from my fear of social contact, I have the appearance and intellect of a normal human being. I secretly desire to be more social, and yet at the same time I am incapable of being so. This has caused no small amount of mental distress for me.

How am I to live my life if I can't bring myself to socialize with large groups of people stuff with them?

I am so pathetic.


Take it easy. (5.00 / 2) (#1)
by tkatchev on Sat Oct 13th, 2001 at 01:42:03 PM PST
Actually, 95% of these psychological "disorders" are scams; psychologists invent these phony diseases just so they can prescribe expensive mind-altering drugs. This is absolutely no different than the crack or heroin trade, only legal. Fear of large crowds and moderate depression is for the most part normal -- it is just part of normal life. In fact, being perpetually happy is just as bad (if not worse) than being perpetually depressed. What you describe probably fits 30% of the human population.

The important thing for you to do is to forget about psychological advice. You need to be staunch here, and remember that these people don't care in the least about your well-being -- they just want to get you hooked on a dangerous mind-altering drug. Forget about them, live your own life. You mention that you have no problem interacting with people one-on-one -- great, find yourself a nice girl you can connect to. Chat with her a bit, it works wonderfully to improve your general outlook on life. And always remember that psychologists are your enemies.

Peace and much love...

Shrinks are fun (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by Duke Machesne on Sat Oct 13th, 2001 at 01:55:08 PM PST
Because most of them spend all their time judging people, and have absolutely no recourse when someone starts judging and manipulating them.

I had a psych professor once, before I decided once and for all that institutional education was beneath me, who had been practicing as well as teaching for five years. The man knew next to nothing. So I did a little independant study, learned about hypnotc language patterns, NLP, blah blah blah blah blah... real psychology. Then I started writing him papers that included hynotic inductions and post-hypnotic suggestions. Soon, he would begin to sweat profusely every time I would walk into the room, and would never look directly at me. I laughed, and then I quit.

Shrinks are as much fun as monkeys, but never give them money. They just don't know how to handle it. They'll just end up driving SUVs.

once you've remembered, you'll never forget

Now I'm getting really scared... (none / 0) (#6)
by hauntedattics on Mon Oct 15th, 2001 at 09:50:08 AM PST
I'm actually agreeing with tkatchev on something twice in one day. I should be careful...any more of this and my circuitry will overload.

OK, the thing I agree w/ him about is "live your own life" and shun the psychological drug thing. (Although seeing a counselor isn't all bad, provided you can find one who isn't a complete idiot, a human drug dispenser or a complete manipulator...or all three.) A lot of people have trouble in crowds and large groups. So hang out in small ones. And don't let how you are perceived by everyone else obsess you and define you - most people allow their thoughts and feelings to be hijacked b/c they're so worried about "fitting in." Do the best you can in life, do what you think is right, find people with whom you can connect and tell all those people who think you're "socially retarded" to f*** off.

Ah... do what I do (4.66 / 3) (#2)
by Duke Machesne on Sat Oct 13th, 2001 at 01:44:58 PM PST
Go out in public and spew whatever random shit presses your "O" ring. Never make eye-contact, ever, unless to tell people strange things about themselves and their situation that they don't want to know. Stay drunk all the time. Wear sunglasses, especially at night (this makes it easier to not have to make eye-contact). Cherish awkward silences, for they are the soul-food of the maladjusted: it is in these precious moments when you realize that everyone is as poorly adjusted as you. Feel crazy? Act crazy. Feel calm? Sit quietly and acknowledge people only with a nod of the head. Do LSD. Make a game out of your own pain and suffering. Shave your pubic hair. Invoke your dark side.

once you've remembered, you'll never forget

I don't know about the rest of that... (5.00 / 2) (#5)
by jin wicked on Sat Oct 13th, 2001 at 09:11:55 PM PST
but shaving your pubic hair a pretty good idea. I suggest shaving arms, legs, and those little invisible hairs on your fingers, too.

Nothing like a nice, clean-shaven, hairless body! Like a marble God made flesh and blood...

"Ars longa, vita brevis...Art is long, life is short."

I'm not sure anything is wrong with you (5.00 / 2) (#4)
by CorporateRepublic on Sat Oct 13th, 2001 at 07:13:12 PM PST
I get massive erections when I look at pretty ladies

This is a symptom of a disease? Since when?


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