||I still don't want to have coffee with you. However, I've been doing a lot of thinking about this (almost 47 seconds now), and I have decided that we should have sex.
Now wait, hear me out.
I'm not suggesting this because I find the idea of sex with you appealing. I will concede that you are moderately photogenic, but I am personally not attracted to you in the slightest. I simply think it would be an interesting development if you and I were to engage in copulation.
Let's face it, eventually you're going to have to have sex with someone from your online activities. I figure it might as well be me. Why? Well, quite a few reasons.
First, it is much safer for you to have sex with me than any of the 14 year old hanger-ons that follow you about. I don't really want anything more from the experience other than to be able to say that I had sex with jin wicked. Once.
Second, I live relatively close. bc may have the European credentials, but he'll never fly to the US just to have sex (at least I hope he wouldn't). qpt has also shown no real interest in making the trip to Houston to consumate his love for you.
I, on the other hand, will even offer to come pick you up and bring you to Austin for the deed. We can't do it at your house because you live with your parents. I suppose we could just get a motel room, but that's really not my scene. You'll have to take a bus back home or something, though, because I hate driving right after having sex.
Third, I'm not expecting much from the experience. You will be under no presure to perform, and will be free to just lie on your back for a bit and think of other things.
Sure, the whole thing will be distasteful to both of us while happening. But think of how exciting it will be to talk about afterwards! It would really liven up the diary section here on Adequacy, and I think you and I should make the sacrifice for all the other readers out there. It's the least we can do.